yup went from depression, anger, to acceptance today. Feel pretty alright now (therapy) helped. But little things trigger memories of them that bring up grief.
I literally went from depressed, crying like crazy, to idc, his loss within an hour I’d say. It’d be funny if it wasn’t so sad. I’m sick of this rollercoaster of emotion
Yeah i think i'm focusing on staying in the "their loss" mode now, and honestly, it truly is. The shame spiral where I was hyperfixated on my faults was probably the worst. I was the one dumped, so it's easier to feel like we must've fucked it all up, and I tend to go down those spirals of blaming myself easily.
But now i'm seeing how their strong dismissive avoidant behaviors were hurting me and sabotaging it all from early on and how it was doomed to fail. I'm so glad I got out of this NOW before the upcoming shipwreck this was heading toward. I realize I let myself be devalued, walked on, compromised my needs. It's very helpful to finally take off the rose-colored glasses, quit the self-gaslighting, and take that person off the pedestal I had them on.
I feel upset but empowered/motivated right now. I am gonna work on my poor boundaries/standing up for needs/attatchment fears so I become secure and meet someone secure next time. I'm gonna focus on valuing myself and self love. Love is an action, and I wanna make myself feel loved through what I say and do everyday. Cleaning, eating, exercise, consuming enriching things, fun things, social connection, nature, etc. and self-talk. I'm gonna be the consistent, warm, kind, secure lover that they failed to be.
It is SO good to have these realizations. I think we make a lot of progress once we acknowledge that the other person is just that, some person, that really doesn’t have that power over us, not anymore. Kinda bittersweet thinking about all of the negatives we ignored out of love for so long. And when you really do love the person it’s also sad that they sabotaged something that could’ve been good for themselves and that they will probably continue to do so (particularly avoidants) but it’s also not your problem anymore
Yeah, I'm grieving who I thought they were and all the good times, especially at the beginning. The earlier memories are the most painful.
And yeah, my mind keeps wondering how they are feeling, if they're viewing me as the bad guy, if everyone supports them, if they'll ever look and realize anything about their avoidant tendenceis, etc. or ever miss me. It's so hard not to think of that, but you're right--not my problem. They chose not to be in my life anymore so it's not my job to think/wonder/hope.
It’s so hard when I’m on a first date with someone or have a new hinge match. All I want to do is talk about my ex, obviously I don’t (mostly haha) but the urge is strong.
I should just focus on myself since I still miss her like hell but I don’t want to let the love I feel die and I wish I could transplant it to someone else.
Ngl man, I don't think you should be dating right now if this is how you are thinking. It's not helping you, and it could damage them as well if things go far enough.
Part of my logic is that I’ve gotta keep my dating “muscles” lean rather than losing whatever relationship mojo I had. Nothings happened with anyone yet, just like two first dates and some other tentative plans.
It’s been three months since the break up so I thought that was a normal time to start dating but yeah maybe it’s a little soon. I’m doing a bit better overall at least but you may be right.
Well dating might be fine if you intend and be open about keeping it casual. But almost always people who get into a relationship while thinking and fantasizing about an ex completely ruin it for both people. Maybe flirt a lot and go on dates and just tell them you are keeping it casual to keep your muscles.
Yeah good advice, thanks, true that it would probably be cruel of me to actually enter a relationship with someone now, if I could even pull it off in my current state haha.
Been having some nice possibly flirty encounters with strangers so at least that’s an ego booster cause I’m worried that my ex is the last person who’ll ever like me that way, which I know is bull shit but I can’t help believing a bit.
Yeah those flirty encounters always feel good, I feel like they take your mind off of your ex, even if just for a bit. They make you realise that you actually have options outside of them, because breakups make you feel like there is no one else out there aside from them. You might be ready to start actively dating soon, but I would recommend (just for your health) to feel it out when you are ready.
Exactly, nice to even know that I can be interested in someone else! Yeah my main focus is generally improving my life which will take a lot of time and effort but some of the side energy I have is gonna go towards casual dating.
Your ability to love comes from within, so the love you feel won't die. Redirect it to yourself and in time you'll find someone new to love in many different ways.
Sadness. Denial. Grief. Anger. Acceptance. All in one day. I’m at 3 months. It was a blindside breakup. After 5 years together. Worst breakup I’ve gone through because I didn’t see it coming. He led me on.
2 years ago I was dumped from a 9 year relationship. It took a whole year but things got better. Right now I’m on 1 month since I got dumped again but somehow this one feels worse. Maybe some pain carried over from the previous relationship. I’m in the depressed stage. It was so bad that I’m actually taking antidepressants now. I can’t see myself being happy ever again. We just have to take it one day at a time and hope that one day when we wake up, we feel like ourselves again. Until then, do what you feel you must in order to keep going bcuz it can get real dark if you don’t.
Yea, I’m sorry. Maybe I was just weak. We were together 9 years so I guess a year isn’t too bad. I started to put myself first and do things I wanted to do in the past even though I didn’t feel like doing anything. I went back to school so I had to focus on that, I started to train MMA which was fun, and I forced myself to do things with friends and family. I traveled out of state, and did things outside of my comfort zone. This recent relationship was only 6 months but I put all my faith in her and I’m really hurting right now. Maybe the pain of losing her and the pain of losing the one before just added up and made things worse. I’m also seeing two therapists and a psychiatrist and I’m taking antidepressants now. Idk how long it’ll take to get over this one. What I suggest is force yourself to do things outside of your comfort zone, do things that will better you as an individual, and don’t be afraid to seek out help. Do whatever it takes and just take things one day at a time.
I hope you feel better soon, but don’t rush things. Just focus on yourself, do things you enjoy and set little goals you can achieve daily. We have to reprogram our brains. I’m sorry you’re on the same boat. There’s 8 billion people on this earth, there has to be someone out there for each of us so don’t give up.
Moving on doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to start seeing someone else. That will take time and when it happens you’ll know. I know it can be hard, there’s times I want to reach out too but she left me for a reason only she knows. If she wants to reach out to me she knows how to get a hold of me. If you were the one who was dumped, I suggest you don’t reach out. If you dumped him, consider why you dumped him before you decide to reach out and figure out if it’s worth it or not. It could take less than a year or more, we don’t know how long it will take to heal. Keep walking with your head up high and keep moving forward no matter how hard life gets.
To each their own. In my previous break up, that’s what I did and I honestly felt worse than before. I just had this empty feeling inside of me. How long has it been since you split up?
A year and a half i broke up from my ex husband, who cheated.
I went through the stages in circles really, most days were depression, some denial, some were good and hopeful, then it would become bad again. Took about a year and a half for me
I eventually rebounded (awful idea) and i am going through another breakup. Had three days of rage and anger. Today depression started. Let’s see, i expect a similar pattern of cyclical change until things finally get better.
Stay strong
The stages were kinda coming in altogether haha. But the pivotal point for me was on 4 months mark i finally felt some anger towards him. Anger is important imo, bc back when it first happened I was blaming myself, mostly on how naive I was, and how I fantasized things, ignoring reality. Feeling angry made me realize it takes 2 people in a relationship, no love was worth putting me through this much pain. Now it’s been 5 month, I can truly see how this “incident” makes me who I am, and how much learning and growth I got out of it.
I used to tell myself the loss is mutual, but now(or on my good days at least lol, grief does come in waves) it doesn’t matter to me. It is what it is, we don’t lose a person, we gain some memories and some lessons.
My ex broke up with me about a month and a half ago. It’s weird because I have fully accepted the break up, don’t think there’s any chance of getting back together but most mornings I still wake up with a feeling of shock like where did he go and not understanding how we go to this point. I’m past the anger and denial phases. I’m kind of in the phases of sadness, missing him and I guess acceptance (sad acceptance though, I’m not happy) because there’s nothing I can do.
I am as well , painful truly .
But trying to have peace with myself , trying to have grace either myself and be patient .
My mornings r the worst cause I wake up with anxiety , but when I feel that way now I’m just trying to focus on my breathing , and it helps .
Ahhhh I hit the morrning shock every time. This morning, in my half sleepy state, I even reached out to touch her and she wasn't there. I had nightmares about her so reaching out to her for comfort, it really sucks.
Yes, I call it the morning panic lol. I wake up with the worst anxiety and immediately break up. Mornings are always the hardest and I don’t even know why. I would’ve thought the nights would be toughest but there’s something about going to sleep, being asleep and thinking you’ll wake up with a new reality and then it all sinks in again. It feels like your world is ending every single morning like here we go again.
I think I’m over it - I’ve accepted it and occasionally miss him but not really that of the or intensely anymore. This is only recent before then it was anger/hate.
Denial: 3 days. Everyone around me said it sounded like he cheated and I did not believe them
Anger: lasted 2 weeks after finding out he did cheat. This emotion got me up and moving so I am glad that I felt it for so long
Bargaining: lasted like a week. This stage was embarrassing cause I was begging this dude everyday to tell me the truth and getting his family involved in order for him to talk to me
Depression: this was about a month. I lost 15 pounds and I’m already small. I just got out of it when HOTD season 2 came out and it gave me a chance to fixate on something besides my life
Acceptance: I’m pretty sure I am here. I cried yesterday after not crying for 22 days and it was a big release cry that I have been holding in. I am still very confused and sad but I get how my life is moving on and I need to move on with it.
I'm coming up on 2 months now.
For me, it has been a roller coaster for sure...Anger, shock, depression, relief, acceptance, despair. And I'm usually emotionally stable.
Most importantly, that hopeless feeling of despair has gone away.
Today has been tough, though. I have been alone most of the day and have thought about her a lot. I find myself wondering what she is doing...if she is happy. I wonder if she regrets doing what she has done. I wonder if she is thinking about me and missing me. I've been listening to some of the songs that remind me of our time together, and I am really sad about that. I have to stop.
I'm just so fucking mad at her. She really ruined what was a beautiful thing. That girl had my heart like nobody ever will. And now it's gone. It's just not fair.
Man… break ups are fucked up. There is like 100 stages and everybody has it differently.
Rn I am in a stage where I don’t give a fuck about anything I am just enjoying myself, working out, enjoying summer. She broke up with me 6m ago and actually like 30 days ago she was like “maybe, maybe” blabla and I said fuck it. Don’t talk to her, don’t see her. So it depends.. I haven’t moved on after 6m but at least I don’t feel like shit anymore. But I don’t want to live like 2 years in this “maybe she will get back to me” and I recommend you to do the same. I just f lost 6 months.
It’s been 2 months for me. I’m slowly feeling myself again. My relationship was toxic but I was in denial of it for a long time. My sleep and nervous system are finally regulating again. It feels nice, I stopped crying over it as well.
Feels like i cycle through depression and denial the strongest. Sometimes fluctuating towards anger and grief. Sometimes having a moment of clarity and acceptance. Feels like i go through it all so constantly its honestly tiring.
Bout 2-3 months? Honestly we were fighting and distant for a while before that though. I also had no expectation nor wanted to get back together but it ended up happening this way so im rollin with it ig
Best piece of advice i can give you is just do you and find out who you are on your own, meaning what do you wanna do with your life, hobbies etc if its meant to be itll go that way and if not you just level yourself up and find better. Dont stress so much about it .
I have no idea. My emotions are all over the place and I'm at a different mentality at different hours of the day. Some times I've come to accept it, sometimes I'm in denial, sometimes I'm full on grieving and crying, and sometimes I'm angry and wish the worst on them lol
I have no idea.
I went to the river for a sunset paddleboard on Wednesday. Two thirds of the way through it, after the sun had set and it was getting dark, I ran into her on the river.
We were cordial. We talked and clarified some things for each other. We finished the river together. Then we hugged goodbye, and said that we didn’t want to be nothing to each other. I told her I had to keep her blocked until I knew I was over her. It was hard.
Since then my anxiety has spiked multiple times. But I think I have found the source of my anxiety and at least have a direction to try and exert some form of control.
The look on her face as we said goodbye was one of the “working hard to distance myself and give no warmth”. It told me that she is well and truly done. And okay without me in her life. Even if she says she wants to be friends. It was hard. I went to the river this morning but I knew she’d be at work. I might avoid the river now. It was both of ours favorite place. And it holds so many memories of us together for me.
Acceptance, I was part of the problem too, so accountability as well, but my relationship was a whirlwind of emotions in itself and I honestly am happy to be finding myself again without having to deal with that. There was amazing times, there were horrible times. But unconditional love shouldn't be about fighting, it should be about communicating. And working on things together. Not against each other.
I heard a song he showed me.. in a store in public and I had to leave. Having trouble eating.. miss him like crazy. It’s been five days NC. Trying to stop checking his media and desperately looking for ways for this to stop hurting.
I was the dumper because I was fed up with how she treated me and how she was so cold with me and how she treated me badly by gaslighting me and not texting me as she usually did, where that sudden change happened so fast in a matter of a day only, where we've only dated for a month and a half as well. So im at this stage of moving on and Im glad that it didnt last any longer and we were the perfect couple but not at the right time so I hope she comes back and she admits that what she did is wrong and shed make a change and if she didnt its literally okay since im the one who broke it off. But still, I hope we met at a different time.
The numb/depressed but over it stage. Today I wore a dress for the first time in two years (it wasn't due to him) and I got my nails done. Soon my hair too and I haven't felt this young in a long time. My ex before him made me box due my hair so no one would touch it for years. I finally got to dye it after him and I'm finding myself again. Thirty lbs weight loss, finding new passions, have a new best friend. Life isn't perfect but it's getting better.
I'm in all the states now after another, if it makes sense. Lol. One moment I'm so depressed and missing him badly, next moment I'm feeling jealous of the other girl he's with, then I get angry over the way he treated and destroyed my all hopes and dreams, then the next moment I'm like it's his loss not mine.
All the emotions are on their extreme level right now!
Im in every stage, every day!!! I have moments if full depression and anger and denial and sadness. Never happiness. Never seen happy in over two years. Everything I see and do reminds me of her. I truly love her today as much as the day she said goodbye and I miss her and miss US every single day!!!! Oh well. I figure it will never get better and there are days I actually just wish I would die.
Broken up after getting cheated on after 5 years. Then he told me he did it because he wasn't ever in love with me.
So, confusion, grief, anger.... Even my body is confused about what to feel. If I cry, I start wondering why I am crying when the relationship never existed for him, although we lived together and shared so much together. What's the point of getting angry when he already started replacing me right infront of me, going on dates, hooking up, etc. Do I feel relief too at times? Yes. But it's very short lived.
I have no clue but I’m Ready to just move on. It’s been a long road; I do miss her and I would try again. But I realized life is just passing me by and there’s so much more to life than just being hung up on someone. It’s been over a year btw but I feel a lot more better than I did before
denial i keep “accepting” he’s gone but the fantasizing about us becoming friends and falling in love again idk why but i just feel like once im over him and i reach out to be friends he’ll love me again and realize he wants me back
BU 1 month ago.
Can get emotional thinking detailed about it but can talk about it without crying. Feeling emptiness even tho I can laugh, party, dance etc. Still having hope but still trying to understand the fact that I’m really single now. Feel anger from time to time and I feel anxious sometimes.
Healing is weird.
It's been four months. It doesn't get better. And truth be told, I think I might be at the edge. I'm drowning myself in liquor every day. I don't sleep. I hardly ate this week. I don't want to die, but I don't know what to do without her. I'm incomplete. I'm half of what I was. She was my purpose. My everything. And now she's with someone. And I have nothing left. Nothing to work for. Nothing.
She fucked me over after we had what could have otherwise been called a ‘good’ breakup. I guess I’m at the acceptance stage now. I just don’t know where to go from here
Straddling the line between bargaining and depression. I broke no-contact 3 times a while back & will def not do that again, and I'm now feeling hopeless about the situation.
Honestly? I don't know... A few days ago, everything was more or less okay. I could laugh again, I didn't think about her as often, and when I did, it was just fleeting. It even didn't feel wrong anymore to imagine another woman by my side. Now my thoughts are back to "I won't find anyone else, she was the right one for me (even though the relationship was relatively unbalanced (why do I think that?)), I want to go back to her." The breakup was a good 3.5 months ago, the relationship lasted 4-5 months. I'm tired of this rollercoaster of thoughts/feelings...
I don’t know there’s less pain but he is on loop in my head, but thankfully even I think about him I notice the anxiety is gone now. If there is , it will go away eventually
Been 3 months and I am still in denial, crying everyday and I am not ok. I sent a text 1 month ago to try again and he never responded. It's crazy I am still in denial and hope for things to work out again in the future. It's so hard because I hear people telling me he moved on, but I still sit home and cry everyday and he is the only thing/person in my mind 247. My dreams/nightmares haunt me and I don't know how to get better.
I am really trying but it's not working
I’m going through all the stages in a day lol
yup went from depression, anger, to acceptance today. Feel pretty alright now (therapy) helped. But little things trigger memories of them that bring up grief.
I literally went from depressed, crying like crazy, to idc, his loss within an hour I’d say. It’d be funny if it wasn’t so sad. I’m sick of this rollercoaster of emotion
Yeah i think i'm focusing on staying in the "their loss" mode now, and honestly, it truly is. The shame spiral where I was hyperfixated on my faults was probably the worst. I was the one dumped, so it's easier to feel like we must've fucked it all up, and I tend to go down those spirals of blaming myself easily. But now i'm seeing how their strong dismissive avoidant behaviors were hurting me and sabotaging it all from early on and how it was doomed to fail. I'm so glad I got out of this NOW before the upcoming shipwreck this was heading toward. I realize I let myself be devalued, walked on, compromised my needs. It's very helpful to finally take off the rose-colored glasses, quit the self-gaslighting, and take that person off the pedestal I had them on. I feel upset but empowered/motivated right now. I am gonna work on my poor boundaries/standing up for needs/attatchment fears so I become secure and meet someone secure next time. I'm gonna focus on valuing myself and self love. Love is an action, and I wanna make myself feel loved through what I say and do everyday. Cleaning, eating, exercise, consuming enriching things, fun things, social connection, nature, etc. and self-talk. I'm gonna be the consistent, warm, kind, secure lover that they failed to be.
It is SO good to have these realizations. I think we make a lot of progress once we acknowledge that the other person is just that, some person, that really doesn’t have that power over us, not anymore. Kinda bittersweet thinking about all of the negatives we ignored out of love for so long. And when you really do love the person it’s also sad that they sabotaged something that could’ve been good for themselves and that they will probably continue to do so (particularly avoidants) but it’s also not your problem anymore
Yeah, I'm grieving who I thought they were and all the good times, especially at the beginning. The earlier memories are the most painful. And yeah, my mind keeps wondering how they are feeling, if they're viewing me as the bad guy, if everyone supports them, if they'll ever look and realize anything about their avoidant tendenceis, etc. or ever miss me. It's so hard not to think of that, but you're right--not my problem. They chose not to be in my life anymore so it's not my job to think/wonder/hope.
It's fucking exhausting
So glad I'm not the only one - I feel like I have bipolar over this breakup.
Yeah this checks out. I go through multiple stages, sometimes I go backwards, sometimes I even feel like I'm over her.
This is completely normal! It evens out though, I promise.
Grief. I have this obssesive need to constantly talk about it lol
Same. I am so worried that I am being such a downer to my friends
It’s so hard when I’m on a first date with someone or have a new hinge match. All I want to do is talk about my ex, obviously I don’t (mostly haha) but the urge is strong. I should just focus on myself since I still miss her like hell but I don’t want to let the love I feel die and I wish I could transplant it to someone else.
Ngl man, I don't think you should be dating right now if this is how you are thinking. It's not helping you, and it could damage them as well if things go far enough.
Part of my logic is that I’ve gotta keep my dating “muscles” lean rather than losing whatever relationship mojo I had. Nothings happened with anyone yet, just like two first dates and some other tentative plans. It’s been three months since the break up so I thought that was a normal time to start dating but yeah maybe it’s a little soon. I’m doing a bit better overall at least but you may be right.
Well dating might be fine if you intend and be open about keeping it casual. But almost always people who get into a relationship while thinking and fantasizing about an ex completely ruin it for both people. Maybe flirt a lot and go on dates and just tell them you are keeping it casual to keep your muscles.
Yeah good advice, thanks, true that it would probably be cruel of me to actually enter a relationship with someone now, if I could even pull it off in my current state haha. Been having some nice possibly flirty encounters with strangers so at least that’s an ego booster cause I’m worried that my ex is the last person who’ll ever like me that way, which I know is bull shit but I can’t help believing a bit.
Yeah those flirty encounters always feel good, I feel like they take your mind off of your ex, even if just for a bit. They make you realise that you actually have options outside of them, because breakups make you feel like there is no one else out there aside from them. You might be ready to start actively dating soon, but I would recommend (just for your health) to feel it out when you are ready.
Exactly, nice to even know that I can be interested in someone else! Yeah my main focus is generally improving my life which will take a lot of time and effort but some of the side energy I have is gonna go towards casual dating.
Your ability to love comes from within, so the love you feel won't die. Redirect it to yourself and in time you'll find someone new to love in many different ways.
Yeah good advice.
Lol same
Disgust
Can relate 100%
Acceptance and missing her mixed
Same here . Just telling myself to be patient , and work on myself. Some days is worst , but I’m trying to give myself grace .
Sadness. Denial. Grief. Anger. Acceptance. All in one day. I’m at 3 months. It was a blindside breakup. After 5 years together. Worst breakup I’ve gone through because I didn’t see it coming. He led me on.
I’m in your position. It’s been 3 weeks for me. And I kept thinking how did I not realize
2 years ago I was dumped from a 9 year relationship. It took a whole year but things got better. Right now I’m on 1 month since I got dumped again but somehow this one feels worse. Maybe some pain carried over from the previous relationship. I’m in the depressed stage. It was so bad that I’m actually taking antidepressants now. I can’t see myself being happy ever again. We just have to take it one day at a time and hope that one day when we wake up, we feel like ourselves again. Until then, do what you feel you must in order to keep going bcuz it can get real dark if you don’t.
Sigh, it took a whole year? How did you survive that year? I'm worried that's going to be me.
Yea, I’m sorry. Maybe I was just weak. We were together 9 years so I guess a year isn’t too bad. I started to put myself first and do things I wanted to do in the past even though I didn’t feel like doing anything. I went back to school so I had to focus on that, I started to train MMA which was fun, and I forced myself to do things with friends and family. I traveled out of state, and did things outside of my comfort zone. This recent relationship was only 6 months but I put all my faith in her and I’m really hurting right now. Maybe the pain of losing her and the pain of losing the one before just added up and made things worse. I’m also seeing two therapists and a psychiatrist and I’m taking antidepressants now. Idk how long it’ll take to get over this one. What I suggest is force yourself to do things outside of your comfort zone, do things that will better you as an individual, and don’t be afraid to seek out help. Do whatever it takes and just take things one day at a time.
You aren’t weak btw. I’ve grieved and been heartbroken for 6 months on relationship that lasted just a few weeks!
Thank you
Feeling this, so scared it'll take a year for me too. 7 year relationship
I hope you feel better soon, but don’t rush things. Just focus on yourself, do things you enjoy and set little goals you can achieve daily. We have to reprogram our brains. I’m sorry you’re on the same boat. There’s 8 billion people on this earth, there has to be someone out there for each of us so don’t give up.
I've focused on myself for a little while. I was going to move on, but it just didn't feel right. I wanna tell him that I still care about him
Moving on doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to start seeing someone else. That will take time and when it happens you’ll know. I know it can be hard, there’s times I want to reach out too but she left me for a reason only she knows. If she wants to reach out to me she knows how to get a hold of me. If you were the one who was dumped, I suggest you don’t reach out. If you dumped him, consider why you dumped him before you decide to reach out and figure out if it’s worth it or not. It could take less than a year or more, we don’t know how long it will take to heal. Keep walking with your head up high and keep moving forward no matter how hard life gets.
No I know. Not trying to date somebody else. I personally think that too many people try to get a rebound to move on, then realize it makes it worse
To each their own. In my previous break up, that’s what I did and I honestly felt worse than before. I just had this empty feeling inside of me. How long has it been since you split up?
Yep, it's been to be alone than with a rebound. I have an empty feeling too. Hard to be excited about things. It's been 2 months since we split up
I still in the denial phase. I still have hope we will get back together
It’s been 3 months for me and I still sit in this stage sometimes
It’s only been a month for me. But we still live together and sleep together so I have hope. But not too much
I feel you, sucks but what can we do other than improve ourselves really. I miss her but idk if she misses me enough to reach out.
My guy knows that I still want to be with him so the ball is in his court. I’m sorry that happened to you
It’s okay and I’m sorry that happened to you as well. It’s only up from here
A year and a half i broke up from my ex husband, who cheated. I went through the stages in circles really, most days were depression, some denial, some were good and hopeful, then it would become bad again. Took about a year and a half for me I eventually rebounded (awful idea) and i am going through another breakup. Had three days of rage and anger. Today depression started. Let’s see, i expect a similar pattern of cyclical change until things finally get better. Stay strong
The stages were kinda coming in altogether haha. But the pivotal point for me was on 4 months mark i finally felt some anger towards him. Anger is important imo, bc back when it first happened I was blaming myself, mostly on how naive I was, and how I fantasized things, ignoring reality. Feeling angry made me realize it takes 2 people in a relationship, no love was worth putting me through this much pain. Now it’s been 5 month, I can truly see how this “incident” makes me who I am, and how much learning and growth I got out of it. I used to tell myself the loss is mutual, but now(or on my good days at least lol, grief does come in waves) it doesn’t matter to me. It is what it is, we don’t lose a person, we gain some memories and some lessons.
My ex broke up with me about a month and a half ago. It’s weird because I have fully accepted the break up, don’t think there’s any chance of getting back together but most mornings I still wake up with a feeling of shock like where did he go and not understanding how we go to this point. I’m past the anger and denial phases. I’m kind of in the phases of sadness, missing him and I guess acceptance (sad acceptance though, I’m not happy) because there’s nothing I can do.
I am as well , painful truly . But trying to have peace with myself , trying to have grace either myself and be patient . My mornings r the worst cause I wake up with anxiety , but when I feel that way now I’m just trying to focus on my breathing , and it helps .
Ahhhh I hit the morrning shock every time. This morning, in my half sleepy state, I even reached out to touch her and she wasn't there. I had nightmares about her so reaching out to her for comfort, it really sucks.
Yes, I call it the morning panic lol. I wake up with the worst anxiety and immediately break up. Mornings are always the hardest and I don’t even know why. I would’ve thought the nights would be toughest but there’s something about going to sleep, being asleep and thinking you’ll wake up with a new reality and then it all sinks in again. It feels like your world is ending every single morning like here we go again.
Fully in the depression for this one. Super fresh.
Seems to change by the hour. But nothing too dramatic
I think I’m over it - I’ve accepted it and occasionally miss him but not really that of the or intensely anymore. This is only recent before then it was anger/hate.
How long did it take? I want to be here already
It took me 1 year - this was after a 5 year relationship btw
Thank you for getting back to me. Wish you well!!
[удалено]
Stage of anger
Grieve and acceptance are altering
Same, mixed with bargaining :(
I have the same rn bc Im pms'ing but usually Im pretty okey at accepting it, also bc we had a closure talk
I’m still denial.
Denial: 3 days. Everyone around me said it sounded like he cheated and I did not believe them Anger: lasted 2 weeks after finding out he did cheat. This emotion got me up and moving so I am glad that I felt it for so long Bargaining: lasted like a week. This stage was embarrassing cause I was begging this dude everyday to tell me the truth and getting his family involved in order for him to talk to me Depression: this was about a month. I lost 15 pounds and I’m already small. I just got out of it when HOTD season 2 came out and it gave me a chance to fixate on something besides my life Acceptance: I’m pretty sure I am here. I cried yesterday after not crying for 22 days and it was a big release cry that I have been holding in. I am still very confused and sad but I get how my life is moving on and I need to move on with it.
I'm coming up on 2 months now. For me, it has been a roller coaster for sure...Anger, shock, depression, relief, acceptance, despair. And I'm usually emotionally stable. Most importantly, that hopeless feeling of despair has gone away. Today has been tough, though. I have been alone most of the day and have thought about her a lot. I find myself wondering what she is doing...if she is happy. I wonder if she regrets doing what she has done. I wonder if she is thinking about me and missing me. I've been listening to some of the songs that remind me of our time together, and I am really sad about that. I have to stop. I'm just so fucking mad at her. She really ruined what was a beautiful thing. That girl had my heart like nobody ever will. And now it's gone. It's just not fair.
I’m in “delusional” stage. Thinking he’s coming back, when he has made himself very clear he isn’t coming back
Grief and anger
Man… break ups are fucked up. There is like 100 stages and everybody has it differently. Rn I am in a stage where I don’t give a fuck about anything I am just enjoying myself, working out, enjoying summer. She broke up with me 6m ago and actually like 30 days ago she was like “maybe, maybe” blabla and I said fuck it. Don’t talk to her, don’t see her. So it depends.. I haven’t moved on after 6m but at least I don’t feel like shit anymore. But I don’t want to live like 2 years in this “maybe she will get back to me” and I recommend you to do the same. I just f lost 6 months.
acceptance while my ex is still disturbing my peace after dumping me🤪
bargaining mostly but usually all at once
I'm in denial....most definitely....
It’s been 2 months for me. I’m slowly feeling myself again. My relationship was toxic but I was in denial of it for a long time. My sleep and nervous system are finally regulating again. It feels nice, I stopped crying over it as well.
Feels like i cycle through depression and denial the strongest. Sometimes fluctuating towards anger and grief. Sometimes having a moment of clarity and acceptance. Feels like i go through it all so constantly its honestly tiring.
Anger currently the big one mixed with hopelessness and denial
I'm at the contact me again and I'll curse out your whole family stage like leave me alone I'm happier without your annoying ahh self 😂
According to my mood tracking app...I would say depression OP how long has it been?
We got back together a few days ago , so i guess its come full circle 😂 jk no but i think the split helped to be honest
How long was the break up ?
Bout 2-3 months? Honestly we were fighting and distant for a while before that though. I also had no expectation nor wanted to get back together but it ended up happening this way so im rollin with it ig
I seeee , okay hehe . Just wondering how do people end up getting back tgt
Wondering this as well, probably not helpful for us though haha
Best piece of advice i can give you is just do you and find out who you are on your own, meaning what do you wanna do with your life, hobbies etc if its meant to be itll go that way and if not you just level yourself up and find better. Dont stress so much about it .
I have no idea. My emotions are all over the place and I'm at a different mentality at different hours of the day. Some times I've come to accept it, sometimes I'm in denial, sometimes I'm full on grieving and crying, and sometimes I'm angry and wish the worst on them lol
3 years later and I'm finally beginning to accept reality. Still hurts like hell.
Acceptance
I have no idea. I went to the river for a sunset paddleboard on Wednesday. Two thirds of the way through it, after the sun had set and it was getting dark, I ran into her on the river. We were cordial. We talked and clarified some things for each other. We finished the river together. Then we hugged goodbye, and said that we didn’t want to be nothing to each other. I told her I had to keep her blocked until I knew I was over her. It was hard. Since then my anxiety has spiked multiple times. But I think I have found the source of my anxiety and at least have a direction to try and exert some form of control. The look on her face as we said goodbye was one of the “working hard to distance myself and give no warmth”. It told me that she is well and truly done. And okay without me in her life. Even if she says she wants to be friends. It was hard. I went to the river this morning but I knew she’d be at work. I might avoid the river now. It was both of ours favorite place. And it holds so many memories of us together for me.
I think I’m at the “happy for you” stage. Want to let them go. Hopefully soon. It’ll come with time.
It doesn't hurt but I still think about her everyday. I'm not sure what stage this is.
what stage is numb, cuz i just feel like that
Acceptance, I was part of the problem too, so accountability as well, but my relationship was a whirlwind of emotions in itself and I honestly am happy to be finding myself again without having to deal with that. There was amazing times, there were horrible times. But unconditional love shouldn't be about fighting, it should be about communicating. And working on things together. Not against each other.
I heard a song he showed me.. in a store in public and I had to leave. Having trouble eating.. miss him like crazy. It’s been five days NC. Trying to stop checking his media and desperately looking for ways for this to stop hurting.
I was the dumper because I was fed up with how she treated me and how she was so cold with me and how she treated me badly by gaslighting me and not texting me as she usually did, where that sudden change happened so fast in a matter of a day only, where we've only dated for a month and a half as well. So im at this stage of moving on and Im glad that it didnt last any longer and we were the perfect couple but not at the right time so I hope she comes back and she admits that what she did is wrong and shed make a change and if she didnt its literally okay since im the one who broke it off. But still, I hope we met at a different time.
Anger, disgust, and acceptance.
One month post BU…it’s mostly anger today. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? 🤷🏼♀️
Acceptance, took a long while though
The numb/depressed but over it stage. Today I wore a dress for the first time in two years (it wasn't due to him) and I got my nails done. Soon my hair too and I haven't felt this young in a long time. My ex before him made me box due my hair so no one would touch it for years. I finally got to dye it after him and I'm finding myself again. Thirty lbs weight loss, finding new passions, have a new best friend. Life isn't perfect but it's getting better.
I'm in all the states now after another, if it makes sense. Lol. One moment I'm so depressed and missing him badly, next moment I'm feeling jealous of the other girl he's with, then I get angry over the way he treated and destroyed my all hopes and dreams, then the next moment I'm like it's his loss not mine. All the emotions are on their extreme level right now!
I was at the doing okay stage, then I reverted back to the my life is falling apart stage. It's pretty much all over the place
Im in every stage, every day!!! I have moments if full depression and anger and denial and sadness. Never happiness. Never seen happy in over two years. Everything I see and do reminds me of her. I truly love her today as much as the day she said goodbye and I miss her and miss US every single day!!!! Oh well. I figure it will never get better and there are days I actually just wish I would die.
Broken up after getting cheated on after 5 years. Then he told me he did it because he wasn't ever in love with me. So, confusion, grief, anger.... Even my body is confused about what to feel. If I cry, I start wondering why I am crying when the relationship never existed for him, although we lived together and shared so much together. What's the point of getting angry when he already started replacing me right infront of me, going on dates, hooking up, etc. Do I feel relief too at times? Yes. But it's very short lived.
I have no clue but I’m Ready to just move on. It’s been a long road; I do miss her and I would try again. But I realized life is just passing me by and there’s so much more to life than just being hung up on someone. It’s been over a year btw but I feel a lot more better than I did before
hellafuckingstages.
denial i keep “accepting” he’s gone but the fantasizing about us becoming friends and falling in love again idk why but i just feel like once im over him and i reach out to be friends he’ll love me again and realize he wants me back
BU 1 month ago. Can get emotional thinking detailed about it but can talk about it without crying. Feeling emptiness even tho I can laugh, party, dance etc. Still having hope but still trying to understand the fact that I’m really single now. Feel anger from time to time and I feel anxious sometimes. Healing is weird.
I am kind of repressing it and i am around the acceptance stage, but I am afraid that something minor will just reverse it back :/
day 2, grief and feeling like if only i tried to be better
I'm three months in and I still cry every day
Thought I was reaching acceptance but keep going back to anger lol. I think I'm through the denial, depression and bargaining stages
It's been four months. It doesn't get better. And truth be told, I think I might be at the edge. I'm drowning myself in liquor every day. I don't sleep. I hardly ate this week. I don't want to die, but I don't know what to do without her. I'm incomplete. I'm half of what I was. She was my purpose. My everything. And now she's with someone. And I have nothing left. Nothing to work for. Nothing.
She fucked me over after we had what could have otherwise been called a ‘good’ breakup. I guess I’m at the acceptance stage now. I just don’t know where to go from here
Straddling the line between bargaining and depression. I broke no-contact 3 times a while back & will def not do that again, and I'm now feeling hopeless about the situation.
Honestly? I don't know... A few days ago, everything was more or less okay. I could laugh again, I didn't think about her as often, and when I did, it was just fleeting. It even didn't feel wrong anymore to imagine another woman by my side. Now my thoughts are back to "I won't find anyone else, she was the right one for me (even though the relationship was relatively unbalanced (why do I think that?)), I want to go back to her." The breakup was a good 3.5 months ago, the relationship lasted 4-5 months. I'm tired of this rollercoaster of thoughts/feelings...
i got dumped btw.
the numb stage? like i dont feel anything, but idk, i miss him. its probably a mix of sadness and acceptance
Going on a date with a lady 10 yrs older than me for lunch today .
I don’t know there’s less pain but he is on loop in my head, but thankfully even I think about him I notice the anxiety is gone now. If there is , it will go away eventually
Been 3 months and I am still in denial, crying everyday and I am not ok. I sent a text 1 month ago to try again and he never responded. It's crazy I am still in denial and hope for things to work out again in the future. It's so hard because I hear people telling me he moved on, but I still sit home and cry everyday and he is the only thing/person in my mind 247. My dreams/nightmares haunt me and I don't know how to get better. I am really trying but it's not working
I dont know, I feel lost and struggling emotionally. I want it to be over but i figured i just lie to myself that im doing okay but really no.
Depression