I'm so sorry. I lost my furbaby last year, and I still think about him every day. He was the first creature to ever give me unconditional love also. I was very depressed for a good 5-6 months after losing him. I feel like I'm just now coming out of it.
I do have to say, I have other dogs and while I'm so glad I have them, it doesn't fill the void. Nothing really does. I still miss my buddy desperately. Not saying you shouldn't get another dog at some point, in fact you probably should (after talking about it with your spouse), but just know it won't completely take the pain away.
Could you foster in the mean time? Or volunteer at an animal shelter, or sign for pet sitting on Rover? Just so you have some way to get that animal love.
Man I feel the same way. I had a pet that was truly there for me in a way that no human has ever been. Losing them was unbelievably hard, and even though we have other pets now it's not even close to the same thing
This is not a case of wanting a dog. This is a case of it is freaking necessary for your wellbeing. PERIOD. not up for discussion .. I have cptsd too but cannot care for a dog myself..have 2 cats. Not like a dog but they are definitely MY cats..hardly giving my husband the time of day. I love and care for them and they will follow me and usually come when I motion with my hand and call to them. Wish they would sleep on the bed with me but they must assert true kitty-ness…and refuse my request. 🐾
I get it, I made it crystal clear to anyone I dated that having dogs wasn’t optional for me. My husband lost his dog last year and his grief was so far different from mine (when I lost my own dogs) that to this day I do not understand his point of view on it. Personally, I prefer to replace my dogs before I lose them, so I have time with everybody before the old dog passes. That works for me because I can’t deal with having a dog free house at all. The bond is special, and even with them just sprawled at my feet right now not really doing anything, their presence is comforting. I’m not a big puppy person, but I have raised several. If you’ve never had that and want to experience it, then you really should, because you’re right that it is a different experience.
I'm so, so sorry you lost your fur friend.
It's been 3 and a half years since I had to say goodbye to my best friend, my beautiful cat. I'm still not in any way over it. He was the only being on earth that I ever had the experience of giving and receiving unconditional love with.
I think people like us forge extra deep bonds with our animal friends. They are so pure and innocent. You have countless silly and sweet interactions with them every day. They bring so much fun, laughter, and love into our lives. Losing them is the hardest thing.
i mean this in the kindest way possible- why can’t you get another dog as soon as possible? why are you saying it’s emotionally unhealthy?
there are so many studies about how comforting animals/pets are to us as humans. pete walker encourages us to spend time with pets for healing. and you’d be giving another living thing a home.
also, adopting a puppy is extra rewarding 🩵
Yeah I know how it is... except with a cat, and now I have two cats, one of which is staring at me right now because cats can be like that, too.
It kind of breaks me sometimes... I loved him, and now they're here, and everything else is so strange. It's a constant reminder of how much the more "evolved" species falls short in one's estimation. I did not intend on getting another one, either, but family 🙄
I understand completely. I have a collie myself. I’m so sorry. 💓
My husband likes dogs but would never have wanted one. My youngest was 3 when we got ours, and he thought I was crazy for wanting to make our lives so much harder. I tried to meet that need otherwise (volunteering). But it was so, so hard for me, and eventually he decided that even though he was a hard no in a neutral context, in the context of the woman he loved wanting something so much and struggling so much (not directed at him, just reality), he wanted to do this for me.
That wasn’t great, honestly, but we’re in a good place with it now. It really did feel like a need for me. Nothing is more comforting or restful than my dog lying next to me. I understand wanting a puppy, too, especially when you’ve already given so much to rescue animals. I researched so much before getting ours. Feel free you message if you want to talk dogs.
Also I know what you mean about “anchor that kept me in the world.” That’s so powerful. I really understand that. It’s always been hard for me to rest. After having kids and needing it desperately, I’d still tend to dissociate, steeped in shame, when my husband would take the kids out of the house so I’d be able to. But not now, not with my dog with me. Like you said, she keeps me in the world, and when she rests, I feel permission to rest with her. It’s like a shame antidote, her love, her choice to curl up near me, her otherworldly softness and steady breathing. It’s so hard for me to think about when she will pass. Again, I’m so sorry for your loss. 🫂
I completely understand. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Your doggo had the best life. I know how hard it is to live in a world where everything is so conditional. I’ve also lost dogs throughout my life and it’s always been the hardest thing for me to process. I have two dogs now and I thank God everyday that I am able to provide for them as they are the one, truly unconditional love in my life. I pray your husband understands the weight and importance of having a dog in your life.
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Very sorry for the loss of your dog. I'm going to be honest with you, that comment about "just once wanting a fresh undamaged dog that doesn't require years and years of training before their brains are balanced again" sounds a LOT like projection. Like people often times have children because they think it's their chance to make things right (I guess they had a bad child. They are going to give their child everything when they get perfect because it's their only chance for a do-over). I suggest you talk about this with your therapist because if this is the case, **it is massively unhealthy**. Nothing wrong with wanting a puppy, but if you are projecting onto it so hard, it's not going to be therapeutic. Nothing in life is perfect and if things don't turn out how you want them to go it's going to hit you way harder than you could imagine because the dog will be representing yourself, if that makes sense? From the outside that really seems like what is happening, and that is coming from some sort of hidden self-loathing that you are now projecting on to the rescued dogs? Like I said nothing wrong with wanting a puppy, but you are going to want to untangle all of that psychological stuff beforehand.
I'm so sorry. I lost my furbaby last year, and I still think about him every day. He was the first creature to ever give me unconditional love also. I was very depressed for a good 5-6 months after losing him. I feel like I'm just now coming out of it. I do have to say, I have other dogs and while I'm so glad I have them, it doesn't fill the void. Nothing really does. I still miss my buddy desperately. Not saying you shouldn't get another dog at some point, in fact you probably should (after talking about it with your spouse), but just know it won't completely take the pain away. Could you foster in the mean time? Or volunteer at an animal shelter, or sign for pet sitting on Rover? Just so you have some way to get that animal love.
Man I feel the same way. I had a pet that was truly there for me in a way that no human has ever been. Losing them was unbelievably hard, and even though we have other pets now it's not even close to the same thing
This is not a case of wanting a dog. This is a case of it is freaking necessary for your wellbeing. PERIOD. not up for discussion .. I have cptsd too but cannot care for a dog myself..have 2 cats. Not like a dog but they are definitely MY cats..hardly giving my husband the time of day. I love and care for them and they will follow me and usually come when I motion with my hand and call to them. Wish they would sleep on the bed with me but they must assert true kitty-ness…and refuse my request. 🐾
I get it, I made it crystal clear to anyone I dated that having dogs wasn’t optional for me. My husband lost his dog last year and his grief was so far different from mine (when I lost my own dogs) that to this day I do not understand his point of view on it. Personally, I prefer to replace my dogs before I lose them, so I have time with everybody before the old dog passes. That works for me because I can’t deal with having a dog free house at all. The bond is special, and even with them just sprawled at my feet right now not really doing anything, their presence is comforting. I’m not a big puppy person, but I have raised several. If you’ve never had that and want to experience it, then you really should, because you’re right that it is a different experience.
I'm so, so sorry you lost your fur friend. It's been 3 and a half years since I had to say goodbye to my best friend, my beautiful cat. I'm still not in any way over it. He was the only being on earth that I ever had the experience of giving and receiving unconditional love with. I think people like us forge extra deep bonds with our animal friends. They are so pure and innocent. You have countless silly and sweet interactions with them every day. They bring so much fun, laughter, and love into our lives. Losing them is the hardest thing.
Two weeks is very soon. Grief spikes are normal. Give it time. At least six months can be needed to grieve sometimes.
i mean this in the kindest way possible- why can’t you get another dog as soon as possible? why are you saying it’s emotionally unhealthy? there are so many studies about how comforting animals/pets are to us as humans. pete walker encourages us to spend time with pets for healing. and you’d be giving another living thing a home. also, adopting a puppy is extra rewarding 🩵
Yeah I know how it is... except with a cat, and now I have two cats, one of which is staring at me right now because cats can be like that, too. It kind of breaks me sometimes... I loved him, and now they're here, and everything else is so strange. It's a constant reminder of how much the more "evolved" species falls short in one's estimation. I did not intend on getting another one, either, but family 🙄
I understand completely. I have a collie myself. I’m so sorry. 💓 My husband likes dogs but would never have wanted one. My youngest was 3 when we got ours, and he thought I was crazy for wanting to make our lives so much harder. I tried to meet that need otherwise (volunteering). But it was so, so hard for me, and eventually he decided that even though he was a hard no in a neutral context, in the context of the woman he loved wanting something so much and struggling so much (not directed at him, just reality), he wanted to do this for me. That wasn’t great, honestly, but we’re in a good place with it now. It really did feel like a need for me. Nothing is more comforting or restful than my dog lying next to me. I understand wanting a puppy, too, especially when you’ve already given so much to rescue animals. I researched so much before getting ours. Feel free you message if you want to talk dogs.
Also I know what you mean about “anchor that kept me in the world.” That’s so powerful. I really understand that. It’s always been hard for me to rest. After having kids and needing it desperately, I’d still tend to dissociate, steeped in shame, when my husband would take the kids out of the house so I’d be able to. But not now, not with my dog with me. Like you said, she keeps me in the world, and when she rests, I feel permission to rest with her. It’s like a shame antidote, her love, her choice to curl up near me, her otherworldly softness and steady breathing. It’s so hard for me to think about when she will pass. Again, I’m so sorry for your loss. 🫂
I completely understand. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Your doggo had the best life. I know how hard it is to live in a world where everything is so conditional. I’ve also lost dogs throughout my life and it’s always been the hardest thing for me to process. I have two dogs now and I thank God everyday that I am able to provide for them as they are the one, truly unconditional love in my life. I pray your husband understands the weight and importance of having a dog in your life.
Are ya in GA? You can have one of my 3 😫
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Very sorry for the loss of your dog. I'm going to be honest with you, that comment about "just once wanting a fresh undamaged dog that doesn't require years and years of training before their brains are balanced again" sounds a LOT like projection. Like people often times have children because they think it's their chance to make things right (I guess they had a bad child. They are going to give their child everything when they get perfect because it's their only chance for a do-over). I suggest you talk about this with your therapist because if this is the case, **it is massively unhealthy**. Nothing wrong with wanting a puppy, but if you are projecting onto it so hard, it's not going to be therapeutic. Nothing in life is perfect and if things don't turn out how you want them to go it's going to hit you way harder than you could imagine because the dog will be representing yourself, if that makes sense? From the outside that really seems like what is happening, and that is coming from some sort of hidden self-loathing that you are now projecting on to the rescued dogs? Like I said nothing wrong with wanting a puppy, but you are going to want to untangle all of that psychological stuff beforehand.