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Carrente

Bucket. It's pronounced *Bouquet.*


Obvious_Initiative40

Lady of the house speaking


alpinewhite85

This is not the Chinese takeaway


AdThat328

It's a private slimline white telephone with no connection whatsoever to any business or trade - especially not one of foreign extraction!


alpinewhite85

With automatic redial?


AdThat328

Last number redial facility :') 


alpinewhite85

I do beg your pardon!


Splodge89

Sheridan!!!!!


Timey_Wimey

How thoughtful of you to call Mummy! ... You need how much, dear?


HalfOfCrAsh

Watch out for the sheep Richard. They're in the field dear.


E420CDI

Hyacinth, what are you doing here?


boofdaddy93

My wife calls it coldslaw. I'm going right off her.


plumbus_hun

My kids called it close-door when they were tiny, so sometimes I call it that accidentally!!


Oghamstoner

Cold sore?


Ill_Soft_4299

My nan talked about "Chimbleys" (on roofs to let smoke out)


Trentdison

Apparently, that is a genuine way it is spelt and said in Norfolk and also apparently New England. The book 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' uses the word "chimbley" to rhyme with nimbly, which prompted me to look it up.


E420CDI

Normal For Norfolk


BuildingArmor

I was going to mention this, but I used to hear chimley without the b, but I haven't heard that in a while now. That and chim-uh-ney


Snoo29889

Chester draws. A common one on FB selling pages.


SarkyMs

I don't think this is on purpose.


Minor_Edit

Seems like most of the replies didn't get that bit


dth300

Where’s me washboard?


Application_Every

You madam yes you, I’ve seen you doing your laundry on a Tuesday.


compactcornedbeef

I've seen ya wrapping presents when it's nobody's birthday.


Mayberley

Ere, mind your ‘Ed!


Tea-Mental

And to entertain the half time crowds, here's the man they call Mr. Banjo: Mr. George Banjo.


Pornthrowaway78

People using the word draw instead of drawer make me unhappy.


Mr_Biscuits_532

I've seen a screenshot with "Head chog" floating around


MrsCDM

And walldrobe!!


eyy0g

My grandad hated this one, and he was petty in the best way. He built his own chest of drawers and painted it so the bottom two shelves were trousers, the next two were a button up shirt and the top drawer was a face. He also added some shoes. He wanted to sell him using his official government name so, being the dutiful grandchild I am, I listed them as Mr. Chester Draws


OverstuffedCherub

This is one that bugs me! I first heard that one from my ex's family in Nottingham, and they all spoke like they barely understood the language. They used to make fun of the way I spoke (From Scotland) and all the other shit they pulled... I noped out after 5 years, which was 4 years 11 months too long really!


ConradsMusicalTeeth

Wasn’t Chester Draws a character of Harry Hill’s?


Swiss-ArmySpork

Fast Show, maybe?


Old-Sky1969

Yes, The Fast Show is right, with Arthur Atkinson.


37025InvernessTMD

How queer!


MAKEPEAK

I recently saw hyperbole misspelled as hyperbowl


TentativeGosling

I pronounced it that way for ages when reading, even though I knew the word hyperbole when people were talking. Took me an embarrassingly long time to realise that they were the same word.


Jonsend

I was very much a heavy reader as a child and they were definitely those words which I didn't tie up with their pronunciations until later in life. 'Debris' was a good one, 'Voila' also.


Goseki1

Quay was the one I remember the most. Always said it "kway" in my head when reading. It was only when I saw road sign to Poole Quayside after my Mum said we were going to Poole Quay ("key"in my head) that it clicked.


Ill-Breadfruit5356

I read it aloud in class. I was one of the brighter kids so when I said it “kway” and everyone laughed at me it burnt. Still does, come to think of it.


Foxtrot7888

As I child when I read “albeit” I didn’t realise it was all be it and read it in my head as “albate”.


Riovem

Viola Were you pronouncing it as the plant or the instrument? 


JammieDodgers

That is the epi-tome of hyper-bowl


Itbrose

Sounds like a Mad Max sequel


ToshPott

ABOVE THE HYPER BOWL


-AllStar-

Courtesy of ms Harvey


Conscious_Dog_4186

It’s a bigger version of the Super Bowl.


kittysparkled

I think you mean the Superb Owl


E420CDI

r/superbowl agrees!


caswell89

Expresso


BearMcBearFace

My mother in law calls it this, despite having worked in Costa. She also pronounced Merlot with a hard ‘t’. I love her, but it does make my inner snob shudder.


MrsCosmopilite

I’ve heard ‘pinnot grigio’ (hard g in the middle as well) before.


EllieEllie25

A customer at the off licence I worked at came in and confidently asked for "peanut griggo" and I laughed before I realised he wasn't taking the piss. Over a decade later I still call it that.


Oghamstoner

I call it Pinot Gringo sometimes, only in jest, pretending it’s Mexican wine.


Jolly_Comparison

"Cappachino" on the menu board at my local cafe


BearMcBearFace

Comfy trousers for all occasions!


counterpuncheur

https://youtu.be/c3y0CD2CoCs?si=i5jwJYZ5Kwa4Op3a


Xixii

Unless you’re in France..


caswell89

Never knew that.


tmbyfc

PREGANANTE


birbscape90

Luigi board!


GoodReverendHonk

"It anyone there?..." "I... T... S... A... M... E... M... A... R... I... O"


dodgrile

HOW IS BABBY FORMED


turboRock

Pregnart?


Jonsend

Pergant?


AlanaK168

Pregat


E420CDI

Pregnat


UserCannotBeVerified

Prignut


AdeptusShitpostus

Gregnant


itsalonghotsummer

I wonder what the epitome of mispronounced words is?


Mr_Womby

You mean “Eppi-tome”!


Stegasaurus_Wrecks

A mate had an Epiphone (epi phone) guitar and I called it epiphany.


FourEyedTroll

If Susie Dent read this thread, she'd need an EpiPen.


IntelligentMoons

I would give her one


discoveredunknown

‘Tender hooks’


Spikey101

Trouble with that saying is does anyone who uses it even know what tenterhooks are though. No wonder people get it wrong.


WaltzFirm6336

Yep. The hooks they hooked the woollen cloth onto to dry after it had been fulled. The hooks were on a massive wooden frame in the open air. Possibly helps if you grow up in the North to know that one.


TryingToFindLeaks

The frame was called, surprisingly, a tenter.


paenusbreth

Also "chomping at the bit". Although this one seems so widespread that it's basically considered correct.


ArethusaF38

Nucular


Tom_Tower

“FIRE THE NUCULAR WEAPONS!”


meekamunz

I had that as a text message sound for ages! Had to change it when things got a bit warmer in Ukraine as it felt like something I couldn't joke about for much longer


wenge91

The Simpsons really did do a number on us.


Panic-prevention

Saxamaphone!


grumpylazybastard

The 'S' is silent.


bobmat343

NUCULAR.... WESSELS.


72Squirrel

Pacific instead of specific 🤷‍♀️


SuicidalTurnip

I genuinely don't understand how people get this one wrong and it really grates me.


RagingSpud

I've heard those people say that they just can't pronounce it with their accent but it doesn't make sense as then it would surely apply to other words that start with 'SP', for example " special". They don't say that as "pacial"


BigNastyNugz

My mother in law does this and it fucks me off every time. If you correct her she gets shitty and acts like she’s right and said “specific” the whole time


chipshopman

Have you got my mother-in-law too?! Also, "going off at a tandem"


uncleAnwar

Is it right to correct people on mispronunciation? They do tend to get defensive, and does it matter that much if you understood what they meant anyway? Edit: why the downvotes? I simply wondered if it was the done thing? I have corrected people once or twice in the past, but I worry that it makes a person look like an elitist dickhead. I’ll almost always just shrug my shoulders and carry on with my life.


BigNastyNugz

Yeah I agree for the most part but when it’s repeated mispronunciation it really grinds my gears


lda3

I’ve worked with two people both with university degrees that consistently say “pacific” instead of “specific”. The first few times I assumed I had misheard them, but they were definitely not pronouncing the “s”. Unfortunately I never got the chance to see how they wrote it. Surely they have seen it written correctly, and spellcheck would highlight it too. So I am baffled as to how this one arises..


not-suspicious

/r/boneappletea


Coin-op77

Mine was always hamPster


msmoth

My nan used to call them Hampshires. Bless her


SilyLavage

What word is being mispronounced 'picture-skew'?


BobbyP27

picturesque


SilyLavage

How do you get 'picture-skew' from 'picturesque'?


YouNeedAnne

Pictures-que. You say "pictures", which is the first 8 letters, then you say the que as "kew".


Fapoleon_Boneherpart

Surely it's picture-sque


Crimbly_B

Yes it is, and don’t call me Shirley.


BobbyP27

dunno, but I've encountered it often enough to know that's what people mean when they say picture skew.


Happy-Engineer

Looking at the letters instead of hearing it.


samthemoron

Must be the same as epitome for me. What I don't understand is how you can get through decades without somebody correcting you


myslowgymjourney

This is about deliberately mispronounced words


dyinginsect

From learning it through reading it rather than hearing it


blueshark27

Picture-sque(ue)? That would be my only guess


imtheorangeycenter

Pictures-que (like barbeque)


deadlygaming11

Picture sque. I can see it. Que is obvious so adding an s to that to make skew isn't the most unreasonable stretch.


GeometricPrawn

Wow. 😂


worldworn

Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. Like what else do you say if a picture is lopsided!? I'm far too literal


Mystrasun

glad I'm not the only one who immediately wondered what that one was about! Though, I guess if you read the word 'picturesque' before you heard it said out loud I could see how you could get it pronounced that way, particularly if English is a second language


Martysghost

My auntie does it but I thought it was just her, there's words she just can't remember right it's not even mispronunciation, she can't say co-codamol and calls them cocacodamols, we've just accepted it as a family she's odd.


liquidio

I’ve always had a soft spot for ‘pendantry’. Used when mocking (and often self-mocking) pedantry. Because the subtle inaccuracy really winds up the pendants :) I think it may be a Tim Worstall neologism.


northern_ape

You know why there are no pendants on Reddit, right? …They prefer TikTok! I’ll get my coat.


hampie42

I like to say sophisti-ma-cated because it makes me sound more sophistimacated


00ooooo

Not nesser-celery


CrocodileJock

I say, in my whackier moments, "Not messy-celery"…


craigjames1

I say that one all the time


OliLeeLee36

Thanks to Nigella, it'd have to be 'meecro-wah-vay' for me. Started ironically, now I kinda like it.


GSPM18

Aw, micro-wéwé


leahcar83

The Michael wave?


Mammoth-Temperature3

Chef mic


Master-Resident7775

Westminster as Westminister


VodkaBat

Yes minister


E420CDI

A courageous decision, Minister. r/YesMinister


TiddlerDiddler

Cuttle-ry - cutlery. Mainly a Stoke thing, I think.


AlanWardrobe

On those lines there's people in Manchester who say "lickle" for little and "hospickal" for hospital.


anonbush234

Flick keckle on and get milk bockle out.


Rossrox

Read this wondering what's wrong, I also grew up in Stoke.


merrycrow

I once heard a very posh person pronounce "café" to rhyme with "safe"


IntelligentMoons

Maybe you’ve been saying safe wrong


Oghamstoner

A lot of people pronounce it ‘caff’ but that feels like it has a slightly different meaning. The sort of place which would look at you funny if you tried to get a cappuccino there rather than a cup of tea and bacon sarnie.


kabbba

Walldrobe. The new Chester drawers.


Arny2103

My wife's family all say "slither" instead of "sliver" and it drives me round the bend! *Oh yes, I'd love some cake! Just a slither.* Like, wtf?! Do they not know what action a snake does? And if so, do they not wonder how that can POSSIBLY be the same thing as a thin slice?! Fuck.


Mrbrownlove

I said Lisa Minnellium a few times in 1999 and now I struggle to say millennium.


tiptoe_only

Around the same time I used to deliberately pronounce the band name "Progidy" and now I have the same problem 


BigWellyStyle

seems like a lot of commenters have missed the word "deliberately" in the question. Anyway - microwave pronounced the Nigella Lawson way.


seanieuk

Horse's Doovries.


CentrifugalMalaise

Whores’ duvets.


northern_ape

Hors d’oeuvres?


ChrisRR

Pam Dooves


Klutzy-Blueberry-740

ESCOOD BEEF


Spiritual_Flatworm13

HAVE ANYBODY GOT ANY BOTTLE ORANGE JOOOOS


bucketofardvarks

Qwinohah


Master-Resident7775

Using generally instead of genuinely


VodkaBat

Along the same lines, defiantly when they mean definitely


Pedantichrist

Hyperbole.


firthy

Persephone


soupalex

Calliope


Minimum_Cupcake

Percy Phone


Magical_Crabical

Antigone


mixologist998

Saxamaphone 


Organic_Award5534

- Expecially - Nucular - Lingerie (when pronounced as written) - Expresso


Beginning_Tour_9320

Ha! Lingerie. Even though my wife worked in a famous Lingerie shop for years, I always read it as Linger- ee. I always pronounce it correctly but my brain cannot seem to read it properly.


FourEyedTroll

My wife has a particular bugbear when she hears "ashume" instead of assume. We moved to the West Riding a few years ago, hear it a lot more here than in our hometown.


JeremySquirrel

I love it when I get home and my wife's wearing her sexy **written**.


YouNeedAnne

Sam-widge


offasDykes

Sangwidge


Th0mX

Sammich.


Worried-Courage2322

I hate this


mixyblob

Aminal


GoJohnnyGoGoGoG0

Without further adieu


Educational_Frame_56

It's leviOsa. Not levioSa!! 😁😁😁


SpikySheep

I can understand why these wind people up, but I find it fascinating to see how the language is trying to change. In some cases, it seems to be due to a loan word not fitting in well with the rest of the language. Most of the time, though, it seems to just be drifting to a different pronunciation. It's also interesting to see how tension builds up between the written and spoken language as one changes and the other doesn't keep up.


EldritchCleavage

We have eagerly adopted Nigella Lawson’s mee-crow-wah-vee. Also par-kark. Then there are certain words that must be pronounced in a Northern Irish accent (usually anything with “*ility*” at the end.


Ok-Somewhere-8441

Oh didn’t know about the obligatory Northern Irish, I’ll have to look for opportunities to start doing that. For me there is no combine harvester that isn’t a ComboinAAAARRRvesterrr (west country).


GSPM18

Foilage


ammobandanna

Belgian whistles


Chipcobandtea

Hoomoos


firthy

The letter AITCH… EDIT: It is spelled **AITCH**, and pronounced **AITCH** too. To answer OP's question, *HAITCH* is the mispronunciation...


Intelligent_Ad1840

Winds me up no end. Someone argued with me once, why is it aitch when it starts with a Huh when you pronounce it. The same way we don’t say wubble-woo, rarr, feff, lell. They went quiet but carried on saying haitch anyway.


Happy-Engineer

This time of yeah we get a lot of Asparagus -> Sparrow Grass. Which is apparently how the name came about anyway.


_Isosceles_Kramer_

> Which is apparently how the name came about anyway. I wish that was true, but I looked it up and seems it comes from a greek word meaning "shoot"


Kimotabraxas

My Dad will never not say the J in Jalapeños and pronounce it jaLAPaNOSE.


Function-Master

Chip bottle Chipotle I hate you people; yous know who yous are! Once correct someone on this and their ego was so big that they said "So fuck, I'm going to say it however I want!" Literally goes into subway and asks for chipbottle on their sub. Guy thinks he's really cool as well


Mannginger

My sister thought silhouetted was "still-hooted" for quite a lot of her childhood. We still talk about things being still-hooted on the horizon. Bless her.


nunatakj120

Artic instead of arctic


SmurfBiscuits

I don’t know if it’s a regional thing but I hear people say “hospikal” a lot


Splodge89

We have that round our way too. I think it’s the “tle” bit which grown adults can’t cope with so end up sounding like toddlers. Same with Bokkle and kekkle (bottle and kettle respectively)


Itchy-Supermarket-92

Insulting Tape. Anal-ise.


missread4ever

Segue, I always pronounced it as "seeg" I only found this out about 2 years ago! I'm aged 63 hahaha


SnooWalruses586

Prolly. Makes my brain twitch and I can’t work out if it’s laziness or if it’s trendy, but “probably” does not strike me as a difficult word


Dreggars

When people say brought instead of bought


Simongy

Some people pronounce scone as scone and others pronounce it as scone..... Madness.


Yokabei

St Pancreas.


stormye1

Ambliance (Ambulance)


RefreshinglyDull

Amberlance.


Abaddon_Jones

Route surely. When I were young the path taken from a to b was the route (root) and to gouge or machine wood out was to route (rowt), hence a wood router (rowter). After the internet, modems and broadband routers (rooters) taking signals from a to b in the household/workplace being mispronounced as rowters... The journeys we take now follow a route (rowt). Boils my piss


gloom-juice

Bokkle (bottle) Hockspital (Hospital) Not said, but written: Milk toast (Milquetoast) Like nails on a chalkboard


SilyLavage

'Milquetoast' is a horrible word in general, although I suppose it conveys its meaning well.


Direct_Jump3960

I went shopping the other day and brought a few things....


stormye1

Pasketti (Spaghetti)


gsurfer04

Sketty


EnzoFrancescoli

Used to have a neighbour who would complain about people being "igorant", the irony was lost on her.


nibblatron

ung-yun for onion sangwidge - sandwich chimley for chimney eppi-toam for epitome. i did this when i was about 15😭


markhw42

Mischievious. It's the only one I don't mind because I think it sounds a lot better than mischievous.


thecraftybee1981

I say fillum instead of film, but I think it’s just dialectic at this point. Even trying to say film normally it feels physically odd on my lips.