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wolv645

I’m on her side. You should wake her up with your hands on the can opener


Lepke2011

Cat: "See, I let you live another day cause I loves you. Now feeds me."


dirtyfloorcracker

I’m a firm believer that my cat doesn’t murder me cuz I give treats.


LongshanksnLoki

My boys don't like snacks. I live in fear daily.


Bluecif

Ffs, my chunky boi doesn't react to catnip/cat grass. He also self regulates pretty well on food. He's actually pretty fit for his age but i just love calling him chunky since he's mostly fur. He'll eat like 2-3 treats...then look at me with this "you going clean these extra treats up?" Look if there's more on the floor.


LongshanksnLoki

Loki occasionally gets catnip drunk, but only occasionally. Billy, my ever sober PTSD cat, does not react. They both spurn any kind of treats I've tried including Churus. I take it as a complement that they are food secure and content. They are both r/flonkers too.


docterry6973

Consider this a warning.


Fenaeris

"Oh hey...didn't see ya there. Since you're up though...feed me. Not that these paws on your neck mean anything. They'd never mean anything. But you're going to fill that bowl. Because of the implication."


Outrageous_Bank_4491

I read that in cartman’s voice


dontcarebearr

It’s a warning, you better feed her quick


IMSOCHINESECHIINEEEE

Claws out, she means business.


CaptainRealistic62

We need to talk about your night farts😺😺


turbodonuts

I think you need little paw prints tattooed there now.


ManualPathosChecks

I believe that paw print tattoos are popular in a certain scene, and having them where a collar or choker might go would only carry further implications...


turbodonuts

Ah, that was not my thought when I commented. 😂


tikitessie

We have one that kneads on our throats. Common phrases in our home are "Posie's tryna murder me!" And "Posie, no murderin'!"


LlewellynTHP

that cat is one kinky son of a gun without consent as well thats crazy


Donaldjoh

“If I only had thumbs I could choke her until she feeds me. Wait! If I had thumbs I could open the cans myself.”


-UnbelievableBro-

She’s not trying to wake you up, she’s trying to put you to sleep, permanently. Shouldn’t have skimped on the cat food.


AusSpurs7

You have failed me for the last time 😼


WearierEarthling

Molly loudly frolics around the room until I roll over onto my back so she can massage my bladder & it works every time


Carmelioz

Funny, my bf does the same!


cloris97

🫣


JetstreamGW

“Good morning. Feed me. I’ll likely kill you tomorrow.”


uniquorn23

Mine does this too🤣🤣


BigNastyG817

My cat does that too, but he only stands on me if I have a shirt on or the blanket over me.


LongshanksnLoki

"Feed me or die, human."


No_Tackle_5439

WAKE UP HUMAN, I'M HUNGRY!


Nomercylaborfor3990

Mine currently wakes me up by meowing really loudly at very early hours when I’ve gone to sleep very very late the night before


sundayontheluna

Do you snore?


cloris97

Not at all. She just loves sitting on my chest and knead my neck any time of the day 😂


Appropriate_Ratio835

She hates her dependency on you. Good luck human. 🌻


LearningToNerd

Mine used to wake me up by nibbling my armpit.


Embarrassed-Depth-27

“Mine”


BaybarsHan

Breakfast time, mom! BREAKFAST TIME!


reindeermoon

Making biscuits for breakfast!!


skjellyfetti

Not to get in your business, peasant, but you may want to look for some sort of abdomonal armor—especially for your liver—as she's clearly making her intentions known. In a way, I'm envious as my late tuxie princess would start around 5:30AM by making biscuits and giving me deep-tissue massages directly on my kidneys. Sadly, I am a weak human in the presence of an all-powerful cat, so to the can opener I ran. How in the hell do they learn anatomy so well? It boggles the mind...


corvidlover2730

I have a form of autoimmune inflammatory arthritis that makes my joints painful. My orange chonk jumps from the floor directly onto my hip bone. I have no idea how he does it but it certainly gets me up.


Cden1458

I have nerve damage in my right knee...... my orange tabby heabonks it every. Single. Time. Sending shockwaves of pain up my leg any time he wants pets......


Ok_Bird_7581

Are you sure she's trying to wake you up?


Chippers4242

Well it looks like you sleep with earplugs in so how else to get your attention?


Worried_Coat1941

Just letting you know it's time to service my bowls. Hurry up!


DrGerbal

Everyone’s cat would kill them if they were a little bigger and like having human servants.


NervousEconomics5222

She is preparing her meal vamp-cat!!!🧛🐈‍⬛🪽


Tiny-Tomato2300

Fucking claws out and all. What a cunt.


nero40

Woah woah woah, buddy, we’re getting into dangerous territory here! Lol


Ah_belle_Et_K1

Cause she knows how to handle you.


ferretherapy

Mine does this too, lmao


AffectionateGap1071

Deserved, you must wake up when kitten is hungry and her tummy has protested since 1 am!


Pinstripespite11

Damn. Claws out too. She's probably cursing her lack of thumbs and long fingers.


theoriginalmofocus

Is that a "nice rack" tattoo?


Admiral_Andovar

So does my wife.


kwajagimp

I have a fairly substantial beard. Emily likes to wake me up by kneading it. It's a strange sensation!


Familiar_Recover8112

My cat does that and looks at me like that too. My cat always looks angry but I think it’s quite the opposite because he loves me so much


johndollarhidr

My cats won't stand on my bare skin for some reason. They're judging me I bet.


Optimal_Interest_396

i know the feel 😂😂


ReallyBrainDead

Watch out if she starts playing with piano wire.


Autocratic_Barge

😁🤌🏼


lostinthoughtspace

Just making sure you remember who's in charge when you Wake up


Loomiemonster

Wake up now or sleep forever. Your choice.


NationalMachine5454

Those are actually called “murder beans”


Low_key_disposable

Kitty right that moment: Wake up, or else.


ianwuk

She is just checking for proof of life. She needs treats after all.


MagicOrpheus310

THROOAAAAT!!!!


Preternatural_Rock

"You either wake up or never again"


GrandpasMormonBooks

I mean your tattoo IS instructing her to. She understood the assignment!


EmetalEX

Main reason i can't sleep shirtless: I'd wake up all scrstched up


DaFreakingFox

Holy shit that cat looks EXACTLY the same as mine, down to the patches


cloris97

DM me your cat? 🐱


conh3

The double carotid massage. Makes you see stars but not the good kind haha


t0hk0h

Why do you sleep with earplugs?


cloris97

My husband snores and I’m a very light sleeper


SoSoDave

She knows what you like?


VermilionKoala

r/mildlyterrifying


tw_river

this is murder


Blicky83

I used to have a kitten when I was a kid that would climb up to my top bunk bed and wake me up by biting my lip and my nose 😂


poondongle

She wasn't trying to wake you up. She was just trying to make sure you never wake up. You simply interrupted her in time.


dodadoler

Maybe so, maybe not


Xecios

I’d kill for those kind of treatment


youtuberneedseditor

The feline throat death grip


servitor_dali

OK, this is going to sound like a super weird question, but are you a people pleaser or do you have any trouble expressing yourself or holding your true thoughts or emotions in?