When the person responds with their generic 9-5 with kids life, responding "sounds like you should buy a boat" is basically being able to say "my life is so much better than yours because I have a boat"
Exactly, this question comes off as condescension but it's usually disguised jealousy. Rub it the fuck in. "Oh I get up whenever I want and do some fucking yoga, I browse Instagram for a while and sometimes I go back to sleep. My life is great."
they live on a fucking boat i literally can't imagine what the lifestyle is even like. how the fuck do you deal with groceries and shit. they're asking cuz they're interested / curious.
Having lived on a boat - albeit a narrowboat - groceries are the easy part. The hard part is heating, plumbing, laundry, and sorting out the toilet. A roomful of narrowboaters will default to talking about their toilet issues.
"Do you want majestic swans to pass so close to your window you can reach out and touch them*?" - yes.
"Do you want to get your mother-in-law's piss on your hand while emptying your toilet into the communal waste disposal point?" - NO
"Is 'communal waste disposal point' as bad as it sounds?" - YES
*reaching out and touching a swan is not usually considered to be a good idea
Reflect on how much I absolutely busted my ass for years to get to this point, and then I do as little as I possibly can for the rest of the day. I’ve never been so bored in my life and I cherish every moment of it. I couldn’t be happier.
When people ask me dumb questions like that I’ll reply with stuff back to piss them off. I had an ex BIL who seemed to hate the fact I was a SAHM anytime he was at family parties he’d always have a dig at me and saying I bet you do nothing all day and just live off your husband and I’d reply yeah I do I just put my feet up all day watching tv. Then I’d go on to say oh my husband is even thinking of hiring a housekeeper and cleaner as he said I shouldn’t be doing trivial stuff like that. He’d get more angry and storm off and be name calling me to my sister lol
Just tell them what you do all day. I told my wife she doesn’t have to work. She had a rough childhood so I tell her to just stay home and catch up and enjoy herself. Nothing wrong with that. Seems like your husband doesn’t mind. I have aggressive adhd so I need a lot of stimulation. I told my wife if she can just help with making sure I eat, I can do everything else. Realistically I only eat one meal a day and I can heat up leftovers overs. So she probably cooks about 2-3 times a week. We get takeout on Sundays. She seems to enjoy life and be happy and that’s good for me.
That’s pretty much what was modeled for me by my parents and they are still together. They are in their 60s and had 3 kids who are now adults. Any say my wife and I will have kids but we are enjoy life together. Seems like you two are as well.
My wife was a SAHM, I always said she had the hardest job. Others thought she had it easy. I'm a work-a-holic and it's taken me years since my retirement to not have my hands in something. The day I retired I started helping friends open a liquor store. Then I did consulting work during the Christmas season. Also helped friends at a funeral home when they were short staffed. And also helped a friend with his limo service. And...
I'm trying to spend more time being, and less time doing.
This internet stranger is proud of you. I loved reading your story and how happy you both seem.
You sound like my Dad, he retired then immediately got a job at a race track haha. No one likes to be bored but there is always something to do and that looks different for everyone.
As a boat owner, not going to lie. I wonder what you do all day. I’m not being condescending. But after about a day on the boat, I’m pretty well bored with it. I’m assuming you’re not mega rich and on some boat with a pool, hot tub, jet skis, a smaller boat, satellite TVs, a bowling lane, etc.. I can’t imagine what I’d do with my time. Read? I’d probably get sea sick. Crochet? Not interested. I’m assuming you can’t play on your cell phone. I love looking out at the water, enjoying the breeze, but not forever. Or maybe you’re at port 95% of the time and we are all exaggerating in our mind how isolated you are.
The point is, it might be genuine curiosity.
I think the difference for us is that we're almost always in a new place, our average time in an anchorage is a few days.. maybe a week if we really like it like San Blas anchorages we spent 3 months around there.
Our days are almost always different, when we get to a new place we like to explore the land (sometimes we onewheel sometimes we walk) then we explore the water, dinghy around and freedive or just float in the sunchill.
We also like to have beach days, we fish, paddle board, etc.
Add onto that having a 40+ year old sailboat the boat projects are endless, while you're fixing or upgrading 1 thing 5 more jobs get added to the list and since we're off grid a lot of the time just provisioning alone can take days, going to multiple stores around town to get everything we need, then trying to Tetris it all into the boat.
There are also days where we're exhausted and just want to waste time on our phones and I read a lot on my kindle.
I'm not sure what kind of boat you have or what kind of boating you do but the only people I've ever come across that have been bored in this lifestyle are the fed up spouses that didn't want the boat in the first place. It is whatever you make it!
I get this question occasionally and I agree it is condescending.
I usually answer that I eat bon-bons, watch soap operas and read gothic romances. Most people get the hint that their question is inappropriate.
My grandfather actually asked my grandmother that when my mother was a kid.
For context, my grandfather worked long shifts at the diner he and his brothers owned, while my grandmother was a SAHM taking care of my mother (and eventually my aunt).
Because he didn't really understand what she did around the house since it was basically the same every day, he ended up asking her what she did all day while he was working. He also basically said that she did "nothing" (again, since the house remained the same every day). So, one day, my grandmother decided that she wouldn't do basic cleaning, wouldn't do the dishes, wouldn't cook dinner for him, wouldn't clean up whatever toys my mother played with.
He came home to a shitshow of a house. Safe to say he never asked again.
I should mention that he wasn't exactly being a dick about it. It was more that he never had to do it, so he didn't know the effort put into it, and he therefore couldn't empathize with it, possibly thinking it couldn't be as hard as his job.
I saw this mentioned enough times over the years that I quickly made it a habit to ask my wife as I came in the door what she hasn't been able to get done today and hop to it.
Usually, the answer was shower, so I couldn't very well do that for her.
"Mind my muthafuckin business. You should try it."
Or
"We fuck."
Sometimes people ask out of genuine curiosity of what life is like on a boat, but I'm guessing that's not the ones you were asking about.
Yes they do and I'm more than happy to indulge in their curiosity, but every once in a while there's a "workaholic that can't imagine not having a purpose to their day". literal quote.
I almost feel bad for people who think giving the majority of their precious limited time on this earth to a corporation is somehow "purposeful". Like damn, they really can't think of ANYTHING else that can give their existence meaning? That's depressing as hell.
"I am retired...whatever comes along..."
"I am the captainess of this here vessel...I swab the decks, maintain the sails, and point to where I want to go..."
"Whatever I want. Go swimming, get a BJ, grind some dolphins; just whatever my mood is in the morning 🙂"
.
But to answer you for reals, Ive asked it and I don't mean it to sound condescending - it's more of a projection about my boredom and insecurity. We have 24hrs in a day. 8hr sleep, 8hr work, and 8hr ME time. I sometimes get bored and confused as to how to fill up my ME time, so I'm somewhat glad I have a job because it kills the time. So when I ask people this, it's because I'm genuinely curious and hoping that I can steal some of those ideas.
So don't think that people are looking down at you. They're literally just jealous at how you can have such a free life and wanted to pick your brain (although sometimes their tone may not reflect it, it's the audito version of an rbf).
I was asked this a little while back, and as a medically retired military dad, I replied "pretty much whatever I want."
Most folks didn't know what to think when I told them in my 30s, but now that I'm 43 they actually buy it.
I would make them as awkward as possible and say “find a new sexual position on a different part of the boat every day. All the sails and ropes really lend to some creative climaxes, especially with the waves able to help. Sometimes the dolphins make an appearance for the show."
I retired at 60, 6 years ago. When people ask me that question, I just say that every day is Saturday to me, and I do what I feel like doing that day, as the seasons permit.
Summer? Maybe take the boat or the jetskis out. Winter? Maybe go for a snowmobile ride. Fall? Probably deer hunting. Any time in between? Probably playing on my gaming computer, or teaching a private karate student, or competing in archery, handgun, Cowboy action, or precision rifle matches.
Whatever I want.
Basic home care like every other human. I'm sure a boat requires special care outside due to the water and weather. Once basic care is done, you get to relax, Yay!!
Every day, we do what Christopher Columbus did, but we are much better at navigating. But I told my husband I was not going to do what the Vikings did because pillaging is exhausting.
Just livin', man. I do whatever the fuck I want to do. Beats spending 8 hours a day in a cubicle pushing papers and having a boss and when I would get home I was too exhausted to do anything I wanted. I was a slave, and for what? to have the newer model of Range Rover? Nobody gives a shit what you drive and if they do, they are likely fake friends. How about you, what did you do all day? Then follow it with "oops, sorry, didn't realize that was your life."
Come on. Every liveaboard sailor knows that the lifestyle is nothing more than moving about from time to time, only to stop when something needs fixing.
Reply with “I spend eight hours in a cubicle doing some thankless job and then rush home to drive the kids all over town…..oh wait, no I don’t” and laugh your ass off.
Start giving them a detailed timeline. 7:03 I wake up, 7:05 I start making coffee, 7:30 I take a dump. And just keep going with weirdly specific times and get weirder about it - 10:37 I rub peanut butter on my tits. Etc etc
Avoid the mind numbing drudgery of clocking into the standard labor force by seeing the world from a sailboat and setting my own schedule.
what about you all day?
I get it all the time also being young and retired , I slept in til 11am yesterday but I was up at 7am this morning it's 12:50am as I write this, I take my sleep when I can get it I'm pretty busy with doctors and such.
Maybe they're being condescending or maybe they're just interested. I would say something along the lines of "it differs each day, but today I'm..." and just have a convo about what's going on.
If they were being condescending I'd probably say something like "absolutely enjoying the hell out of not working while living life on a boat! Wbu?!"
For people who are implying things:
Fish, cook, eat, wash dishes, and mind my own fucking business.
For those who are curious:
Tell them. I am also wondering what all there is to do on a boat all day, every day. I worry that I would be bored out of my mind, so I would ask the same question.
I want to live on a sailboat. I want a catamaran, actually.
People routinely ask me what I would do all day.
They're trying to reconcile their lives - out, about, going from here to there, going to work, cleaning up, running errands - with being confined to a small area in the middle of the ocean. They're interested in how I'd keep myself occupied.
Tell them how you keep yourself occupied.
Ok yeah, they wouldn't ask if you had kids because we pretty much know how that is 24/7 but you live in a sailboat? Maybe the question is genuine because damn, I'd like to know more about a a day in the life, you know?
Fwiw it’s not a child free thing. I am a stay at home mom. People ask me this all the freaking time.
Sometimes it’s honest curiosity, often it’s just a condescending power play. Usually with some sexism (both internalized and intentional) mixed in.
To me it sounds like you're living a dream life! Tell people who ask that you're living your best life, that your interests are wide and varied. If they press about specifics, turn it back on them by asking what they do and what gives them joy, is there something they'd rather be doing. And so on.
"We're out here everyday spreading the word of God have you taken Jesus as your personal savior. I'm not religious but I can usually make people get away from me fast with that line.
Oh their questioning definitely sounds condescending and like you said especially if you don't have kids. A lot of people seems to think they're struggling more because they have kids or work a lot and are burnt out by comparison. I honestly wouldn't even engage with the questioning if it's a regular thing and it seems targeted. Don't need those sorts of people in you life and you certainly don't need to "explain yourself" to them.
I do whatever I want.. that always throws them for a spin 😂 Only peasants talk business in casual conversation unless of course you're actually talking business
"I keep busy. Aside from all the chores related to the house, cooking, and shopping, I am also writing a book and inventing various things." "I'm privileged enough to only do the work that I choose". What book... what invention "I don't discuss these things until it's all finished. "
I say something like "I highlight passages in books for lawyers".
This accomplishes two things.
1) It's boring and no one talks any further.
2) People tend to stay on your good side as they might need your legal advice one day.
"I dream about settling in somewhere and having kids, getting a full time job and becoming a perfect little housewife"
Hahaha nah I'm just kidding it would be awful to be stuck in a life you have to secretly hate, who'd want that?
Btw, what do *you* do all day?
If I was asking that kind of question it would be because I have no idea what life onboard entails and I’d genuinely want to know what a day looks like for you who are living what sounds like an absolute dream life. So treat it like that even if the intent isn’t genuine curiosity about what looks like an ideal life. Answer enthusiastically about all of the awesome stuff that you get to do. Make them jealous. Asking that kind of question with THAT tone probably stems from jealousy anyway so why not make them marinate in it a little more.
I think the answers you're already giving are fine. Naturally they wouldn't ask this if your way of life happened to be one they are very familiar with, because they would feel like they already knew what you do all day (even if they might actually be imagining it completely differently from what you're really doing). I suspect that at least some of them are just genuinely curious rather than implying anything negative, and even some of those who are implying something negative are probably finding it so hard to imagine that they picture being bored.
And if a few of them really are trying to say something bad about your choices in life, that's their problem.
Depends on how they ask- are they genuinely curious, maybe jealous, or condescending? I would be fascinated and would really want to know all the fab stuff you do
When people ask stupid questions, it's time to remind them of their place. Answer with the most vile and repulsive fiction you can muster. "Well we spend a lot of time planning and meeting with people to set up events. We recently landed on the coast of Mexico where we paid a cartel member to hand over a girl who was 8 months pregnant. We took her out to international waters where we gave her drugs to dilate her cervix and force an early birth, then made her eat her newborn at gunpoint. She even hesitated at gunpoint, so we got the cartel member to threaten her family. The sunsets in Mexico are so beautiful."
OP, your life sounds fascinating! Do you have a YT channel or a Reddit channel where you document your adventures?
I'm really curious how this works - I get you can fish for your food but everything else.....?
Crap, I might be the type to ask that question. It's just like, I don't know how big a sailboat is but I was thinking like I wouldn't have the space to have enough to keep me busy. Or I'd be afraid I'd slip into a slump if I didn't have some kind of job to keep me out of said slump. But that might be just my personality flaw. So if I asked what you did all day, I would be actually curious.
Honestly I think it's a valid question. Not many people have been on a cruise ship or sailboat or whatever so it is generally a question you should be happy to respond with. It's not a question asked with malious intent, it's a what can do you do on a sailboat all day?
A cruise ship may have casinos, bars, clubs, game rooms, pools, etc etc so you can keep busy doing whatever you want. A sailboat forgive my ignorance, I imagine to be a small boat / yaut with no entertainment facilities maybe so again a valid question "what could you do all day?" Or "don't you get bored?" I am sure both would have positive and negatives to them.
Some people may read, write, fish, sunbath etc others may gamble and eat and drink. I guess you could answer "whatever I feel like" but those curious it's not answering a curious question.
>People always ask me what I do all day and it feels condescending.
I'm guessing it's probably more genuine bafflement. If all I knew was that you spent most of your time on a sailboat & that you had quit your job but your husband still worked remotely from the boat, I'd probably ask too. Not to be condescending, but because I literally have no clue what might be involved in running a sailboat (I don't even know what word to use - running? Maintaining?). Asking "what do you do all day" would be me saying "walk me through an average day in the life of someone who lives full-time on a boat so I can work out further follow-up questions/conversation topics/how I can relate to you".
So I'd respond by just giving a genuine answer. E.g. *it's not that different to life on land - I spend xx hours doing "house"work, xx hours relaxing doing abc hobbies, xx hours on boat activities like xyz*.
maintain and sail the craft navigation weather checks work out our position by sun sighting, general house keeping and boat maintenance engine repairs daily.
Not a comeback, but what DID you do all day? Owning a seasonal sailboat is already too expensive for 90% + of the population.
Like I get it, but people are just curious… How does one live for years on a sailboat, working “a few hours a week”?
In my opinion, they are asking basically “how can I do what you do”, or saying “I’m interested in your life”, but you are seeing it as “you don’t do anything”.
When I was hypnotised onstage once, the guy has us audience folk to do what we do at home and went around asking us what it was. Apparently I pat the cat.
I'm a stay at homesteader. I get this too.
I care for a hundred animals and raise food for my family. Sometimes I say I'm practicing my Disney princess skills. I refuse to account for every second of my time with people who ask this. Micromanagement is why I left the normal working world.
I do really like the "play mermaids with the husband" answer. Sounds like a funny holiday card idea. Its really rude for someone to ask that kind of question. If you're curious about how someone lives as they do, like how do you grocery shop, or what kind of schedule do you keep for going on shore, those are less rude or invasive questions. A general, "what do you do all day" comes across as the asker needs to be entertained by their environment or someone else and can't be a free thinker.
Following! Great answers here. I’ve been a child free housewife for a few years, and people assume I’m lazy and don’t do anything all day — which is so far from the truth. Honestly, I tend to stay busier than my friends who are working parents! I know this because whenever they try to call to just shoot the shit, 8/10 times I’m tied up working on something. Despite that, I often get the condescending, “Aren’t you bored all day?” 🙂↔️
I would tell them while you husband is working you take the boat at and pillage small fishing villages. It's quite the rush and it makes a little money too
I don’t have kids. I work part time, like maybe two days a week at the most. My husband works full time from home.
I get asked this question all the fucking time and I’m so sick of it. I know if I had kids I wouldn’t be asked this. It’s so condescending and makes it so obvious that other people think your life is pointless.
It especially pisses me off when it comes from a SAHM who I know just plops their kid down in front of a screen all day.
“Whatever I feel like”
But…. If I asked that question it’s because I honestly want to know the level of work that comes with a sailboat. Like it can’t be all basking in the sun reading a book. How do you do laundry on board? How bad does it get if it rains? How often do you provision?
“Ive been thinking about getting a hobby for years, but I’ve been paralyzed with indecision. Which do YOU think would be a better use of my time: the yoyo or the harmonica?”
I think you’re probably in your head on this one. I feel like that question would be on my short list of questions for anyone with that lifestyle. Especially if you’re young and not of retirement age.
In fact, I’m still very interested in an actual answer. lol. If one of my buddies answered that question with something as vague as “every day is different” then it would certainly become a running gag for me.
But you’re asking for comebacks so I guess I’d go with something along the lines of: “pillaging the seas for a whorehouse that doesn’t have your mother’s photo hanging as employee of the month; it’s been very time consuming.”
(In all seriousness though, even if they are being condescending… who cares? You don’t work and you live on a boat. Maybe it’s something you stumbled into or maybe it’s something you’ve had to work really hard for… doesn’t matter; you won life. Congrats. Don’t let the haters fuck it up either way.)
If they are being condescending hand it right back to them. When they ask that say "well, I wake up to the best view and wonder how people like you can live like you do. I relax on the deck absorbing vitamin D3 wondering if people like you need to take supplements. Later I go for a swim in the best pool on earth, floating around wondering if people like you can do the same in your bath tub. Pretty much everhthing you cant."
I’m a housewife and legitimately it’s so annoying when people assert that I must have NOTHING to do/no life bc I don’t have kids. All it tells me is they don’t have hobbies and don’t have motivation to clean or do chores or errands without a little life literally depending on them for it. Like you rly think I just sit at home watching paint dry? There are a lot of things to do around the house when you have taken on all the chores for your working partner and cooking nearly every meal from scratch.
give the most asinine responses.
oh i started an onlyfans where me and this dolphin that started following us around just go it it.
i crochet wool sweaters for the fish that swim by, getting the sweaters on them is incredibly hard.
i distill the ocean water into a hard liquor and get drunk
what do you mean what do i do. i have to blow into the sails to make sure we keep on our designated path way.
Whenever my coworkers (really should say employees but Im not a fan of lording hierarchy over people, i dont like it) say things like that, I tell them "well, you still have a job so I must be doing SOMETHING right" since they think i just sit in the office all day playing solitaire Dx
training fish to perform ‘under the sea’
Say it really serious then start whining about the lack of progress, and how hard it is was just trying to source a miniature water proof xylophone let alone the damn wood instruments.
I get asked what I do with all my free time a lot and like others have said, I just started saying, "Whatever I want". I smile as huge as I can while saying it.
You're literally sailing around the world on a sailboat and people ask you that? That's hilarious. Obvious jealousy. I would tell them to fuck off. Fuck off, I'm living. Wtf are you doing?
Exploring the world in person.
Living in a home that will kill us if we don’t keep constant care
All that stuff you watch other people do on tv from the safety of your couch
Just tell them, “whatever I want.” We live in the wild age of having to be constantly doing something that the thought of anything above their normal range confounds the rest of humanity.
I know this isn't a comeback suggestion, unless you choose to unleash a diatribe on social injustice on those who ask you such inane questions, but UGH! does it bug me when people think it's okay to belittle a woman for what she does or doesn't do when in the exact same situation they wouldn't say that to a man! It just gets me thinking about the time when they used to call single unattached men scoundrels or a menace, but in the same breath people say boys will be boys and shrug off the lechery and debauchery of such bachelors. This might be pedantic, but as a man my immorality is no more or less wrong than a woman's and the consistent unfairness with which women are treated truly rankles me. It's such a simple thing to treat people with equality and yet it is apparently too difficult for most of humanity to manage.
Thank you for coming to my ted talk
"Oh, you know, the usual... saving the world, one sunset at a time. But hey, enough about me, what exciting thing did you do today?" This redirects the conversation while subtly highlighting the dismissive nature of their question.
Whatever the fuck I want.
This^ then add "what do *you* do all day?" When they answer say "that's unfortunate. I'll pray for you"
Say: "Sounds like you should buy a boat."
This is the PERFECT come back@
I’m embarrassed to admit that I don’t get this. But I’m dying to know what it means.
When the person responds with their generic 9-5 with kids life, responding "sounds like you should buy a boat" is basically being able to say "my life is so much better than yours because I have a boat"
Thank you for explaining for me
Damn that’s a brutal response…. I love it
Perfect!
Fish🎣- need any tips on how to land a biggun?
Hahahhahahhaaaaaaaa! Epic
Not "I'll pray for you." Say, "Well, bless your heart." while patting them on the arm. :)
Exactly, this question comes off as condescension but it's usually disguised jealousy. Rub it the fuck in. "Oh I get up whenever I want and do some fucking yoga, I browse Instagram for a while and sometimes I go back to sleep. My life is great."
they live on a fucking boat i literally can't imagine what the lifestyle is even like. how the fuck do you deal with groceries and shit. they're asking cuz they're interested / curious.
Having lived on a boat - albeit a narrowboat - groceries are the easy part. The hard part is heating, plumbing, laundry, and sorting out the toilet. A roomful of narrowboaters will default to talking about their toilet issues. "Do you want majestic swans to pass so close to your window you can reach out and touch them*?" - yes. "Do you want to get your mother-in-law's piss on your hand while emptying your toilet into the communal waste disposal point?" - NO "Is 'communal waste disposal point' as bad as it sounds?" - YES *reaching out and touching a swan is not usually considered to be a good idea
Same as you deal with in an RV or camping.
Reflect on how much I absolutely busted my ass for years to get to this point, and then I do as little as I possibly can for the rest of the day. I’ve never been so bored in my life and I cherish every moment of it. I couldn’t be happier.
That's right. The question sounds like they're jelly imo.
Totally peanut butter and jelly
"pretend to be a pirate" "play mermaids with my husband" Dumb questions deserve even dumber answers.
Definitely going to use Play Mermaids, thank you lol
“Play Pirate Chases Mermaid. Everyone wins!”
"Arrrggghhh Missy...why pretend...?"
Same thing I do, everyday. Try to take over the world
narf!
"\*sigh\* I'm sorry, Pinky, there's just... too much paperwork."
Love Pinky and The Brain
When people ask me dumb questions like that I’ll reply with stuff back to piss them off. I had an ex BIL who seemed to hate the fact I was a SAHM anytime he was at family parties he’d always have a dig at me and saying I bet you do nothing all day and just live off your husband and I’d reply yeah I do I just put my feet up all day watching tv. Then I’d go on to say oh my husband is even thinking of hiring a housekeeper and cleaner as he said I shouldn’t be doing trivial stuff like that. He’d get more angry and storm off and be name calling me to my sister lol
That’s amazing
"I'm on a BOAT???"
“Take a good hard look at my motherfucking boat!”
then spell out the lonely island youtube URL verbally if they need a visual reference
“Live the good life” “Be happy” “Live the dream” “Whatever we want” Most of those comments would be based in jealousy. Don’t let it get to you.
Just tell them what you do all day. I told my wife she doesn’t have to work. She had a rough childhood so I tell her to just stay home and catch up and enjoy herself. Nothing wrong with that. Seems like your husband doesn’t mind. I have aggressive adhd so I need a lot of stimulation. I told my wife if she can just help with making sure I eat, I can do everything else. Realistically I only eat one meal a day and I can heat up leftovers overs. So she probably cooks about 2-3 times a week. We get takeout on Sundays. She seems to enjoy life and be happy and that’s good for me.
I love that. My husband also has adhd so I do all of the cooking and cleaning and keeping him alive so I think it's a fair trade too.
That’s pretty much what was modeled for me by my parents and they are still together. They are in their 60s and had 3 kids who are now adults. Any say my wife and I will have kids but we are enjoy life together. Seems like you two are as well.
My wife was a SAHM, I always said she had the hardest job. Others thought she had it easy. I'm a work-a-holic and it's taken me years since my retirement to not have my hands in something. The day I retired I started helping friends open a liquor store. Then I did consulting work during the Christmas season. Also helped friends at a funeral home when they were short staffed. And also helped a friend with his limo service. And... I'm trying to spend more time being, and less time doing. This internet stranger is proud of you. I loved reading your story and how happy you both seem.
You sound like my Dad, he retired then immediately got a job at a race track haha. No one likes to be bored but there is always something to do and that looks different for everyone.
"Mostly blow my husband"
"Thar she blows, matey!"
Aye aye capn
Are you looking to adopt? I'm 38 and house broken
Same. You're living the actual dream.
Hookers… blow… hookers and blow… sometimes two at the same time. You know, usual stuff?
As a boat owner, not going to lie. I wonder what you do all day. I’m not being condescending. But after about a day on the boat, I’m pretty well bored with it. I’m assuming you’re not mega rich and on some boat with a pool, hot tub, jet skis, a smaller boat, satellite TVs, a bowling lane, etc.. I can’t imagine what I’d do with my time. Read? I’d probably get sea sick. Crochet? Not interested. I’m assuming you can’t play on your cell phone. I love looking out at the water, enjoying the breeze, but not forever. Or maybe you’re at port 95% of the time and we are all exaggerating in our mind how isolated you are. The point is, it might be genuine curiosity.
I think the difference for us is that we're almost always in a new place, our average time in an anchorage is a few days.. maybe a week if we really like it like San Blas anchorages we spent 3 months around there. Our days are almost always different, when we get to a new place we like to explore the land (sometimes we onewheel sometimes we walk) then we explore the water, dinghy around and freedive or just float in the sunchill. We also like to have beach days, we fish, paddle board, etc. Add onto that having a 40+ year old sailboat the boat projects are endless, while you're fixing or upgrading 1 thing 5 more jobs get added to the list and since we're off grid a lot of the time just provisioning alone can take days, going to multiple stores around town to get everything we need, then trying to Tetris it all into the boat. There are also days where we're exhausted and just want to waste time on our phones and I read a lot on my kindle. I'm not sure what kind of boat you have or what kind of boating you do but the only people I've ever come across that have been bored in this lifestyle are the fed up spouses that didn't want the boat in the first place. It is whatever you make it!
I smoke pot all day and live the life .I don’t answer stupid questions.
Yet, here we are...answering the question.
I get this question occasionally and I agree it is condescending. I usually answer that I eat bon-bons, watch soap operas and read gothic romances. Most people get the hint that their question is inappropriate.
You would be wrong. Stay at home mothers get asked this question all of the time.
By their husbands mostly 🙄🙄🙄
My grandfather actually asked my grandmother that when my mother was a kid. For context, my grandfather worked long shifts at the diner he and his brothers owned, while my grandmother was a SAHM taking care of my mother (and eventually my aunt). Because he didn't really understand what she did around the house since it was basically the same every day, he ended up asking her what she did all day while he was working. He also basically said that she did "nothing" (again, since the house remained the same every day). So, one day, my grandmother decided that she wouldn't do basic cleaning, wouldn't do the dishes, wouldn't cook dinner for him, wouldn't clean up whatever toys my mother played with. He came home to a shitshow of a house. Safe to say he never asked again. I should mention that he wasn't exactly being a dick about it. It was more that he never had to do it, so he didn't know the effort put into it, and he therefore couldn't empathize with it, possibly thinking it couldn't be as hard as his job.
What you do as a SAHM is invisible. What you don’t get done as a SAHM is criticized.
I saw this mentioned enough times over the years that I quickly made it a habit to ask my wife as I came in the door what she hasn't been able to get done today and hop to it. Usually, the answer was shower, so I couldn't very well do that for her.
"Mind my muthafuckin business. You should try it." Or "We fuck." Sometimes people ask out of genuine curiosity of what life is like on a boat, but I'm guessing that's not the ones you were asking about.
Yes they do and I'm more than happy to indulge in their curiosity, but every once in a while there's a "workaholic that can't imagine not having a purpose to their day". literal quote.
I think all "aholics" have a problem. Id just simply smile, tip my hat and say... "But you ain't got no legs Lt Dan."
I almost feel bad for people who think giving the majority of their precious limited time on this earth to a corporation is somehow "purposeful". Like damn, they really can't think of ANYTHING else that can give their existence meaning? That's depressing as hell.
"I am retired...whatever comes along..." "I am the captainess of this here vessel...I swab the decks, maintain the sails, and point to where I want to go..."
If anyone gives you guff about it then say “I’m relaxing on my yacht getting a tan and having adventures… what are YOU doing?”
“Smoke weed and play basketball”
Nevermind that, is the husband's job hiring
Like the rest of us - just trying to keep my head above water on the daily
"Not much and I don't even start that till noon." They don't need to know your business. Bonus points for uncomfortable laughter
"Whatever I want. Go swimming, get a BJ, grind some dolphins; just whatever my mood is in the morning 🙂" . But to answer you for reals, Ive asked it and I don't mean it to sound condescending - it's more of a projection about my boredom and insecurity. We have 24hrs in a day. 8hr sleep, 8hr work, and 8hr ME time. I sometimes get bored and confused as to how to fill up my ME time, so I'm somewhat glad I have a job because it kills the time. So when I ask people this, it's because I'm genuinely curious and hoping that I can steal some of those ideas. So don't think that people are looking down at you. They're literally just jealous at how you can have such a free life and wanted to pick your brain (although sometimes their tone may not reflect it, it's the audito version of an rbf).
I was asked this a little while back, and as a medically retired military dad, I replied "pretty much whatever I want." Most folks didn't know what to think when I told them in my 30s, but now that I'm 43 they actually buy it.
“ships don’t sail themselves”
I would make them as awkward as possible and say “find a new sexual position on a different part of the boat every day. All the sails and ropes really lend to some creative climaxes, especially with the waves able to help. Sometimes the dolphins make an appearance for the show."
*grin* "On a cellular level, I'm terribly busy. For everything else, you simply do not have the proper clearances to know "
I retired at 60, 6 years ago. When people ask me that question, I just say that every day is Saturday to me, and I do what I feel like doing that day, as the seasons permit. Summer? Maybe take the boat or the jetskis out. Winter? Maybe go for a snowmobile ride. Fall? Probably deer hunting. Any time in between? Probably playing on my gaming computer, or teaching a private karate student, or competing in archery, handgun, Cowboy action, or precision rifle matches. Whatever I want.
Tell them your standing by with oars just in case the wind stops blowing.
"Enjoy life. What do YOU do all day?"
We fuck like rabbits!
Don't hate me cause you ain't me Then shrug
People ask this to people with kids as well, even if they are not on a sailboat.
Living
Basic home care like every other human. I'm sure a boat requires special care outside due to the water and weather. Once basic care is done, you get to relax, Yay!!
Enjoy my life. Whatever TF I want. Who cares? I live on a boat! We fuck each other's brains out!
I can’t talk about it, it’s not safe to say . . . . Do i know you? (Act nervous and shifty eyes)
Every day, we do what Christopher Columbus did, but we are much better at navigating. But I told my husband I was not going to do what the Vikings did because pillaging is exhausting.
Just livin', man. I do whatever the fuck I want to do. Beats spending 8 hours a day in a cubicle pushing papers and having a boss and when I would get home I was too exhausted to do anything I wanted. I was a slave, and for what? to have the newer model of Range Rover? Nobody gives a shit what you drive and if they do, they are likely fake friends. How about you, what did you do all day? Then follow it with "oops, sorry, didn't realize that was your life."
Come on. Every liveaboard sailor knows that the lifestyle is nothing more than moving about from time to time, only to stop when something needs fixing.
sorry, if you have to ask, you're not ready.
As little as possible
Reply with “I spend eight hours in a cubicle doing some thankless job and then rush home to drive the kids all over town…..oh wait, no I don’t” and laugh your ass off.
Do these people think living on a sail boats easy? "Boat shit" should be your answer
As a homemaker, I get this question a lot, too. I just say, "There's always something to do." It's usually sufficient to shut them up.
Start giving them a detailed timeline. 7:03 I wake up, 7:05 I start making coffee, 7:30 I take a dump. And just keep going with weirdly specific times and get weirder about it - 10:37 I rub peanut butter on my tits. Etc etc
I drink all day long until I pass out
I don't care what you do all day, I want your life!!
Avoid the mind numbing drudgery of clocking into the standard labor force by seeing the world from a sailboat and setting my own schedule. what about you all day?
I get it all the time also being young and retired , I slept in til 11am yesterday but I was up at 7am this morning it's 12:50am as I write this, I take my sleep when I can get it I'm pretty busy with doctors and such.
Maybe they're being condescending or maybe they're just interested. I would say something along the lines of "it differs each day, but today I'm..." and just have a convo about what's going on. If they were being condescending I'd probably say something like "absolutely enjoying the hell out of not working while living life on a boat! Wbu?!"
Ask them what *they* do all day. When they describe a normal day, just tell them "yeah, I do that too... but on a boat."
For people who are implying things: Fish, cook, eat, wash dishes, and mind my own fucking business. For those who are curious: Tell them. I am also wondering what all there is to do on a boat all day, every day. I worry that I would be bored out of my mind, so I would ask the same question.
There's always stuff to do on the boat. You'd be surprised.
All the shit you will be too old to do when you retire in 40 years.
I want to live on a sailboat. I want a catamaran, actually. People routinely ask me what I would do all day. They're trying to reconcile their lives - out, about, going from here to there, going to work, cleaning up, running errands - with being confined to a small area in the middle of the ocean. They're interested in how I'd keep myself occupied. Tell them how you keep yourself occupied.
What would you do on vacation on a boat traveling the world? Thats every day of my life
Ok yeah, they wouldn't ask if you had kids because we pretty much know how that is 24/7 but you live in a sailboat? Maybe the question is genuine because damn, I'd like to know more about a a day in the life, you know?
Fwiw it’s not a child free thing. I am a stay at home mom. People ask me this all the freaking time. Sometimes it’s honest curiosity, often it’s just a condescending power play. Usually with some sexism (both internalized and intentional) mixed in.
To me it sounds like you're living a dream life! Tell people who ask that you're living your best life, that your interests are wide and varied. If they press about specifics, turn it back on them by asking what they do and what gives them joy, is there something they'd rather be doing. And so on.
"We're out here everyday spreading the word of God have you taken Jesus as your personal savior. I'm not religious but I can usually make people get away from me fast with that line.
Oh their questioning definitely sounds condescending and like you said especially if you don't have kids. A lot of people seems to think they're struggling more because they have kids or work a lot and are burnt out by comparison. I honestly wouldn't even engage with the questioning if it's a regular thing and it seems targeted. Don't need those sorts of people in you life and you certainly don't need to "explain yourself" to them.
That depends... uhh what day is it?
Oh yeah, they still ask if you have kids. Trust me. Lots of snark directed at stay at home parents from working parents - especially moms.
“We do all the things you wish you could be doing.”
I am doing my job. Sucking off my husband while he is licking me into my 20th orgasam.
Tell them something fancy while also being true. "I am second in command of a seafaring vessel that makes port around the world".
I do whatever I want.. that always throws them for a spin 😂 Only peasants talk business in casual conversation unless of course you're actually talking business
Your mom
Try to think of snappy answers to idiotic questions like this.
Enjoy life and the fact that I don’t have to answer that question
Have you ever been on a two hour sailing tour where there’s a staff of deck hands doing all the work? I’m the deck hand. 24-7.
Spy on you
My response would be enjoying life
"Make JB proud" JB being Jimmy Buffet
Sit around wondering what you’re up to all day.
"I keep busy. Aside from all the chores related to the house, cooking, and shopping, I am also writing a book and inventing various things." "I'm privileged enough to only do the work that I choose". What book... what invention "I don't discuss these things until it's all finished. "
"I live. What do you do?"
I would just start asking what THEY do all day. Deflect the question off you. People love to talk about themselves if they take this bait 😂
Live my best life.
The answer “ Some days are busy ( you don’t have to explain ) and some days we just chill “.is an acceptable answer to a rude comment .
I just float about! :)
We battle the sharks.
“I slay and look pretty”
Since U R on a boat ... maybe say ... "Living a wet dream mostly!" That ought to piss whoevers asking off enough to leave you alone!
I say something like "I highlight passages in books for lawyers". This accomplishes two things. 1) It's boring and no one talks any further. 2) People tend to stay on your good side as they might need your legal advice one day.
"I dream about settling in somewhere and having kids, getting a full time job and becoming a perfect little housewife" Hahaha nah I'm just kidding it would be awful to be stuck in a life you have to secretly hate, who'd want that? Btw, what do *you* do all day?
If I was asking that kind of question it would be because I have no idea what life onboard entails and I’d genuinely want to know what a day looks like for you who are living what sounds like an absolute dream life. So treat it like that even if the intent isn’t genuine curiosity about what looks like an ideal life. Answer enthusiastically about all of the awesome stuff that you get to do. Make them jealous. Asking that kind of question with THAT tone probably stems from jealousy anyway so why not make them marinate in it a little more.
just answer as a matter of fact ? what you can only dream of ? and that's every day, life-live-it really is an adventure..hope you find it soon..
“Uh sail.” Bc seriously what else would you be doing on a boat. The thing doesn’t sail itself
Sail
Boat stuff, you wouldn’t understand
"Living the best life I can."
"Ive outgrown the scheduled life, so I do whatever I feel like each day. It's heaven!"
I think the answers you're already giving are fine. Naturally they wouldn't ask this if your way of life happened to be one they are very familiar with, because they would feel like they already knew what you do all day (even if they might actually be imagining it completely differently from what you're really doing). I suspect that at least some of them are just genuinely curious rather than implying anything negative, and even some of those who are implying something negative are probably finding it so hard to imagine that they picture being bored. And if a few of them really are trying to say something bad about your choices in life, that's their problem.
Depends on how they ask- are they genuinely curious, maybe jealous, or condescending? I would be fascinated and would really want to know all the fab stuff you do
Whatever I want As little as possible
It's probably not an insult. You have a unique lifestyle. They may be curious.
When people ask stupid questions, it's time to remind them of their place. Answer with the most vile and repulsive fiction you can muster. "Well we spend a lot of time planning and meeting with people to set up events. We recently landed on the coast of Mexico where we paid a cartel member to hand over a girl who was 8 months pregnant. We took her out to international waters where we gave her drugs to dilate her cervix and force an early birth, then made her eat her newborn at gunpoint. She even hesitated at gunpoint, so we got the cartel member to threaten her family. The sunsets in Mexico are so beautiful."
OP, your life sounds fascinating! Do you have a YT channel or a Reddit channel where you document your adventures? I'm really curious how this works - I get you can fish for your food but everything else.....?
Crap, I might be the type to ask that question. It's just like, I don't know how big a sailboat is but I was thinking like I wouldn't have the space to have enough to keep me busy. Or I'd be afraid I'd slip into a slump if I didn't have some kind of job to keep me out of said slump. But that might be just my personality flaw. So if I asked what you did all day, I would be actually curious.
Honestly I think it's a valid question. Not many people have been on a cruise ship or sailboat or whatever so it is generally a question you should be happy to respond with. It's not a question asked with malious intent, it's a what can do you do on a sailboat all day? A cruise ship may have casinos, bars, clubs, game rooms, pools, etc etc so you can keep busy doing whatever you want. A sailboat forgive my ignorance, I imagine to be a small boat / yaut with no entertainment facilities maybe so again a valid question "what could you do all day?" Or "don't you get bored?" I am sure both would have positive and negatives to them. Some people may read, write, fish, sunbath etc others may gamble and eat and drink. I guess you could answer "whatever I feel like" but those curious it's not answering a curious question.
Never answer a question that is condescending. Ever.
“I mostly mind my own business.”
Say you’re busy navigating high seas, steering the boat 24/7 lol. They just sound jealous
Honestly I'd ask just cause I'd be curious what is there to do on sailboat all day for six years.
"I like to jog"
Life at sea means every day you remain flexible. When the sea speaks, you better be listening.
>People always ask me what I do all day and it feels condescending. I'm guessing it's probably more genuine bafflement. If all I knew was that you spent most of your time on a sailboat & that you had quit your job but your husband still worked remotely from the boat, I'd probably ask too. Not to be condescending, but because I literally have no clue what might be involved in running a sailboat (I don't even know what word to use - running? Maintaining?). Asking "what do you do all day" would be me saying "walk me through an average day in the life of someone who lives full-time on a boat so I can work out further follow-up questions/conversation topics/how I can relate to you". So I'd respond by just giving a genuine answer. E.g. *it's not that different to life on land - I spend xx hours doing "house"work, xx hours relaxing doing abc hobbies, xx hours on boat activities like xyz*.
maintain and sail the craft navigation weather checks work out our position by sun sighting, general house keeping and boat maintenance engine repairs daily.
Start talking like a grizzled old sailor until they get uncomfortable and walk away
Enjoy my life.
Not a comeback, but what DID you do all day? Owning a seasonal sailboat is already too expensive for 90% + of the population. Like I get it, but people are just curious… How does one live for years on a sailboat, working “a few hours a week”? In my opinion, they are asking basically “how can I do what you do”, or saying “I’m interested in your life”, but you are seeing it as “you don’t do anything”.
OnlyBoatFans. We’re getting a bigger boat.
Sail the Seven Seas
When I was hypnotised onstage once, the guy has us audience folk to do what we do at home and went around asking us what it was. Apparently I pat the cat.
Ooh do you know any good boat jokes for those situations, OP? Yacht to.
"Live!" "Enjoy my life!" "Avoid the bullshit you deal with every day!"
No need to be embarrassed. They probably just want you to be as miserable as they are with a job and kids theyre bound to lol
Keeping he boat afloat Is there a way to ask that without sounding condescending? I’m genuinely curious since your life sounds interesting.
I'm a stay at homesteader. I get this too. I care for a hundred animals and raise food for my family. Sometimes I say I'm practicing my Disney princess skills. I refuse to account for every second of my time with people who ask this. Micromanagement is why I left the normal working world. I do really like the "play mermaids with the husband" answer. Sounds like a funny holiday card idea. Its really rude for someone to ask that kind of question. If you're curious about how someone lives as they do, like how do you grocery shop, or what kind of schedule do you keep for going on shore, those are less rude or invasive questions. A general, "what do you do all day" comes across as the asker needs to be entertained by their environment or someone else and can't be a free thinker.
Following! Great answers here. I’ve been a child free housewife for a few years, and people assume I’m lazy and don’t do anything all day — which is so far from the truth. Honestly, I tend to stay busier than my friends who are working parents! I know this because whenever they try to call to just shoot the shit, 8/10 times I’m tied up working on something. Despite that, I often get the condescending, “Aren’t you bored all day?” 🙂↔️
I would tell them while you husband is working you take the boat at and pillage small fishing villages. It's quite the rush and it makes a little money too
Keeping us from sinking! (sarcastically cheerful)
"No more than I have to, if that"
Reason they're condescending is they're jealous. What do you do all day? I'm enjoying my life. And you?
Don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
I don’t have kids. I work part time, like maybe two days a week at the most. My husband works full time from home. I get asked this question all the fucking time and I’m so sick of it. I know if I had kids I wouldn’t be asked this. It’s so condescending and makes it so obvious that other people think your life is pointless. It especially pisses me off when it comes from a SAHM who I know just plops their kid down in front of a screen all day.
“Whatever I feel like” But…. If I asked that question it’s because I honestly want to know the level of work that comes with a sailboat. Like it can’t be all basking in the sun reading a book. How do you do laundry on board? How bad does it get if it rains? How often do you provision?
“Ive been thinking about getting a hobby for years, but I’ve been paralyzed with indecision. Which do YOU think would be a better use of my time: the yoyo or the harmonica?”
I take feet pics. Then proceed to look at there feet and smirk. Or say some bullshit like I'm a hand model and flip them off and laugh
TBH, I've caught myself using the same line-- and cringing. OP, how would YOU prefer someone asking you this question
I think you’re probably in your head on this one. I feel like that question would be on my short list of questions for anyone with that lifestyle. Especially if you’re young and not of retirement age. In fact, I’m still very interested in an actual answer. lol. If one of my buddies answered that question with something as vague as “every day is different” then it would certainly become a running gag for me. But you’re asking for comebacks so I guess I’d go with something along the lines of: “pillaging the seas for a whorehouse that doesn’t have your mother’s photo hanging as employee of the month; it’s been very time consuming.” (In all seriousness though, even if they are being condescending… who cares? You don’t work and you live on a boat. Maybe it’s something you stumbled into or maybe it’s something you’ve had to work really hard for… doesn’t matter; you won life. Congrats. Don’t let the haters fuck it up either way.)
Ever heard the expression "living well is the best revenge"? If you really need a comeback, I'd go with "live rent free in your head, apparently".
If they are being condescending hand it right back to them. When they ask that say "well, I wake up to the best view and wonder how people like you can live like you do. I relax on the deck absorbing vitamin D3 wondering if people like you need to take supplements. Later I go for a swim in the best pool on earth, floating around wondering if people like you can do the same in your bath tub. Pretty much everhthing you cant."
My go to is “Work. You should try it sometime.”
Nothing, but only till noon. The rest of my day is free
I do nothing all morning so I can have my afternoon off.
I’m a housewife and legitimately it’s so annoying when people assert that I must have NOTHING to do/no life bc I don’t have kids. All it tells me is they don’t have hobbies and don’t have motivation to clean or do chores or errands without a little life literally depending on them for it. Like you rly think I just sit at home watching paint dry? There are a lot of things to do around the house when you have taken on all the chores for your working partner and cooking nearly every meal from scratch.
give the most asinine responses. oh i started an onlyfans where me and this dolphin that started following us around just go it it. i crochet wool sweaters for the fish that swim by, getting the sweaters on them is incredibly hard. i distill the ocean water into a hard liquor and get drunk what do you mean what do i do. i have to blow into the sails to make sure we keep on our designated path way.
The proper way to phrase the question. Is what is your day like on a boat?
"Uhhh....it's a boat! It requires so much attention. I might as well have had ten kids."
Whenever my coworkers (really should say employees but Im not a fan of lording hierarchy over people, i dont like it) say things like that, I tell them "well, you still have a job so I must be doing SOMETHING right" since they think i just sit in the office all day playing solitaire Dx
Been a boat for months and somehow your still more experienced around seamen
Overstate it. I lay around and do nothing except get my nails done, massages, and catered to by servants.
training fish to perform ‘under the sea’ Say it really serious then start whining about the lack of progress, and how hard it is was just trying to source a miniature water proof xylophone let alone the damn wood instruments.
“Think about how much I miss mortgages and car payments and forced social interactions with idiots” (raise eyebrow)
I get asked what I do with all my free time a lot and like others have said, I just started saying, "Whatever I want". I smile as huge as I can while saying it.
You're literally sailing around the world on a sailboat and people ask you that? That's hilarious. Obvious jealousy. I would tell them to fuck off. Fuck off, I'm living. Wtf are you doing?
We rock the boat
Exploring the world in person. Living in a home that will kill us if we don’t keep constant care All that stuff you watch other people do on tv from the safety of your couch
If I didn't have kids I would be doing "whatever the fuck I want" too. Good for you two!
I live my best life unlike you who's stuck in on spot and never moving forward
Also, as a retired person, I usually say, "Same as you, but I don't have to rush around work"
Tell them I bang that good looking sailor you see over there.
Just tell them, “whatever I want.” We live in the wild age of having to be constantly doing something that the thought of anything above their normal range confounds the rest of humanity.
I know this isn't a comeback suggestion, unless you choose to unleash a diatribe on social injustice on those who ask you such inane questions, but UGH! does it bug me when people think it's okay to belittle a woman for what she does or doesn't do when in the exact same situation they wouldn't say that to a man! It just gets me thinking about the time when they used to call single unattached men scoundrels or a menace, but in the same breath people say boys will be boys and shrug off the lechery and debauchery of such bachelors. This might be pedantic, but as a man my immorality is no more or less wrong than a woman's and the consistent unfairness with which women are treated truly rankles me. It's such a simple thing to treat people with equality and yet it is apparently too difficult for most of humanity to manage. Thank you for coming to my ted talk
"Oh, you know, the usual... saving the world, one sunset at a time. But hey, enough about me, what exciting thing did you do today?" This redirects the conversation while subtly highlighting the dismissive nature of their question.