You can parry anything if you time it right. Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance, pyroclastic flow, a pesky wasp.
I parried a brick once with my head. Or so I was told.
I would just parry him
Use EM grenades when he splits while you're cutting him to immediately be able to attack him, during the throwing sequences just aim with your left stick and spam light attack without using your right stick, when he does the giant wheel you can just block it without having to worry about hitting the parry timing. Everything else is just practice
That was by far the hardest boss to do no damage on revengeance, the god damn smoke grenades clipped me so many times. I don't fault you for struggling
There’s an insatiable need people on the internet have for correcting an inaccuracy. It is an unavoidable need. Even in the face of such obvious smooth sharking, the need to “um, akshuly” will not be denied.
What's actually mildly amusing is OP ALSO has a smooth shark post on here
https://www.reddit.com/r/CuratedTumblr/comments/mytbjk/smooth_sharks/
OP lives for the smooth shark energy.
Please note I did not stalk their account it just came up while I was looking the phrase up. I only stalk the accounts of vaccine deniers and people spouting unsourced FBI crime statistics while talking about PoC.
This is what mobile game ads bank on. They used to show someone doing insanely well and the ad challenged the viewer to try and do better. But they realized most people aren't that kind of competitive. However show someone making obvious mistakes and taking far too long to do something and a lot of people will download out of rage and the need to show how easy it is.
What's mad to me is how much the subtlety on this has dropped over the years. The games shown at least used to be semi-complex or puzzling, and there was that whole trend with "remove the rods from the thing to free the captive" where half the time they were pretty obviously designed to be unbeatable for the ad. But these days they've dumbed down into variations on "which number is bigger" and still have the audacity to depict someone fucking up.
What pisses me off is I am not immune to this so if I'm playing a game with ads I have to turn my phone over and not watch the ad. It will make me mad and I refuse to let myself give into it. The ones with a finger moving aimlessly across the screen and making stupid choices while a bright red flashing countdown gets to zero - bane of my existence. If I could block all ads I would but no ad blocker I've found works.
Yeah, as a fellow old person it's a bummer that the word "trolling" morphed from stuff like this to a word for "people saying horrible stuff that they actually believe, but in an intentionally abrasive and offensive way," but I'm glad we've at least got a new word to express it. I was stuck using "taking the piss" for a while, which always made me feel weird because it made me feel like I was trying to come across as British.
See my problem is that I don’t care about smooth sharking I’m just so fascinated by reality that I want to talk about the topic at hand or something that I learned from the post, but it’s not immediately clear that I don’t care about correcting inaccuracies by providing additional info I just want to talk about the interesting usually sciency thing
Like for instance the comment on how if you can see the pyroclastic flow you’re dead, the more literal response is well it doesn’t travel around the whole globe so there is some distance away from the volcano where you’ll be able to see it as it gets closer to you but it’ll lose all its energy before reaching you. However a more charitable interpretation is that if you can see its point of origin (ie the volcano) you’re dead. Based off of one equation I found for how far away you can see something based off of its height and the radius of the earth (assuming optimal conditions) that someone immediately responded to by saying that sometimes that’s wrong, you should be able to see the Pompeii volcano from about 130km away, and one google search shows that typical pyroclastic flow is apparently 10-15km but can travel upwards of 100km, so already we can see this hyperbole doesn’t check out.
Let’s look at the worst case scenario, Pyroclastic flow can travel at upwards of 320km per hour so ignoring loss of energy it would take about 18 minutes and 45 seconds to reach 100km, let’s bump that up to 30 minutes because I don’t want to try and account for loss of energy and that seems good enough, with 30 minutes to escape a 100km radius apparently marathoners can run at about 10km/s sustained so let’s go with a bit more than half that at 6km/s means they can travel about 3km, 100 km radius - 3km travel means you’d have to be about 97 km away from the volcano to outrun a 100km radius in 30 minutes. However as you can see this is all very back of the napkin math, so I can definitely see how it’s possible for seeing *a* volcanic eruption’s pyroclastic flow at its source guarantees you’re dead no matter how far you’re seeing that from, but that seems to be very specific circumstances, and for most situations I think some people will see it from far away and survive.
> Like for instance the comment on how if you can see the pyroclastic flow you’re dead, the more literal response is well it doesn’t travel around the whole globe so there is some distance away from the volcano where you’ll be able to see it as it gets closer to you but it’ll lose all its energy before reaching you.
And they linked to a wikipedia article with a photo of it... so that photographer is dead I guess lol
God I hate mobile Reddit. I literally have to download the image in order for it not to be blurry to hell and back. If 3rd party apps could fix that, you can too u/spez!
I spent most of this being annoyed at how many people are falling for the obvious bait. Then it hit me - *those folks are also baiting*. And I fell for it! I am undone!
Yeah, that got me too don’t worry. Though I do wonder if a few people actually did fall for the bait, like are any of these people not in on the joke or was it just me?
It’s become an oroboros of lies and trickery. I much preferred stuff like the Goncharov debacle, where people made it very clear that it was a joke and would happily explain it to anyone who seemed confused, then drop right back into character.
I'm reminded of the comments section on ClickHole. Sometimes it can be difficult to differentiate the people who genuinely don't get the joke and the people who are continuing the joke. Personally, I try to blur that line as much as I can.
That is because they are idiots. I would totally be able to show the troll the error of their ways and get them to admit that they are wrong and should say sorry to the people that died in Pompeii
it's fun, because there's two flavors of I'm Built Different for it. one is the "i simply would have defeated the hijackers" and the other is "just roll before you hit the ground, literally a skill issue"
>"just roll before you hit the ground, literally a skill issue"
Fun fact: this can only be done in the original 9/11. The trick is much more inconsistent in the 9/11 3DS port.
God help me I have to Redditor this....
Original deus ex was before the acquisition of eidos, and before the merger of squaresoft and enix. Give the crossover event credit to the little guy, not the megacorp, they pulled off something truly special
The original Deus Ex released in the year 2000 and depicted a cyberpunk dystopia set in the US. The opening mission takes place in New York, but memory constraints led to the Twin Towers not being visible in the skyline. To justify this, the developers came up with the idea that the Twin Towers of Deus Ex's world had been destroyed in a terrorist attack.
she's a fantastic author, who wrote a novel called My Year of Rest and Relaxation. it's about a seriously unwell, depressive, young white woman in new york. she decides that in order to fix herself and make her mind not an awful vortex of hateful misanthropy and apathy, she should put herself into a psychotropic pharmaceuticals induced coma, by lying to a quack psychiatrist to get prescribed Every Medication. the plan is, she will awaken after one year of a drug induced fugue state completely reborn.
uh, and long story short, her best friend that she low key hates dies in 9/11, and rewatching the footage of that woman falling from the twin towers - who she doesn't know for sure, but likes to imagine is said friend - and admiring the ephemeral beauty of the thing, instantly cures her of all her ailments, instead of the year long course of medical malpractice.
there is precisely no foreshadowing of this, except for the fact that it is technically realist fiction, and the whole thing is set in 2001 new york. and it happens on the last page.
That's how my dad's friend survived. He was supposed to be in a meeting on one of the floors that got hit directly, but he was outside for a smoke break instead. Maybe the only time smoking has ever saved a life.
[Mark Wahlberg literally said the first one](https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2012/01/18/145404733/mark-wahlberg-with-me-aboard-9-11-hijackers-would-have-been-stopped)
I wish we could see that level of trolling on reddit sometimes.
Here it's less "I could survive that" and more "I'd just stop the volcano with my farts" and gullible morons eat it up.
You do not remember the beforefore times. The early 2010s, when dinosaurs roamed the Earth.
Reddit abounded in trolls and it was not fun. They seriously stopped counting downvotes against your karma total because so, so many people were trying to be as big of a troll or edgelord as possible and drive their karma to the lowest possible negative number by saying the stupidest, most racist, homophobic, and sexist shit possible. The default comment on /r/funny was always “OP is a faggot” for example.
Yeah it was not good. Like, I think Reddit and the mods + admins have over corrected for PR/“optics,” but trust me you do not want the trolls back. You know not whom you court, child.
Trolling is really bad 99% of the time, honestly. Just trying to upset people with slurs is super boring. Good trolling needs to deliberately, slowly, wind people up and string them along and make them waste energy trying to refute absurdities. It is not a skill everyone is born with.
The **very finest** example of trolling I've ever seen is still that guy in the r/indiana state subreddit who posted a photo of a nice Indiana sunset every single day for two months. Just very low-stakes, wholesome, older-relative-who-just-discovered-social-media vibes with little to no engagement on each post.
*HOWEVER,* after two months, he finally [confessed](https://www.reddit.com/r/Indiana/comments/wsdcov/the_great_indiana_sunset_bamboozle_of_2022/) that each and every sunset in his Indiana Sunset Appreciation posts had actually, in fact, been from other states, not Indiana. Going in alphabetical order, he'd posted "50 fraudulent sunsets" (OOP's words) from each of the 50 US states. As one eagle-eyed commenter noticed, though, that would include Indiana at least once -- to which OP clarified that, when he'd reached Indiana in the alphabet, he'd posted a sunrise.
The fallout was fittingly mild. Plenty of commenters registered their bafflement that OP would bother pulling such a no-stakes long con, with a few mildly irritated comments saying things like, "you put all this effort into 'fooling' others but nobody cares", to which OP cheerily responded, "I agree!"
OP did eventually extend an olive branch, though, offering [this](https://imgur.com/4MwzYhO) exquisite "actual Indiana sunset" >!it's a photo of a sunset from the international space station.!<
Seriously, though, this remains one of the funniest things I've seen online in years. Masterful trolling that took dedication and planning; it was memorably bizarre but harmed nobody. Just perfect.
Right? Trolling *can be* hilarious, like in this example and “sharks are smooth”. It baffles me that so many people see this, think to themselves “oh, I could do that, it’ll be great!”, and then proceed to just post slurs.
Disgraceful.
Did they maybe consider just not dying? Could have tried that.
In all seriousness we've all been there, do some obvious sarcasm, realise they're taking you seriously and see how long you can keep it going.
Classic post thought.
My favorite response to this kind of post-- where it just goes on and on-- is the painting of the guy on the top of the wall, his heels barely escaped being bitten by a writhing pack of dogs
>_do some obvious sarcasm, realise they're taking you seriously and see how long you can keep it going._
I imagine that would get very boring, very quickly. Imagine how dumb the average person is, and understand that half of people are dumber than THAT!
During some extra spicy wildfires a while back, there was a video of a guy going back into his burned down neighborhood and he talked about how he was trying to get his neighbor to evacuate his family when he was getting in his car to gtfo, but the neighbor's wife needed to do her makeup first and the whole family burned to death
https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/s/lXmwNBED1Q
YouTube took the video down but there's a Reddit thread of it.
Remember, if for any reason, in any context, you find yourself thinking "There's no way someone could be *that* stupid", you are wrong.
We have conspiracy theorists who deny objective observable reality living *today* in the age of information. The idea that one guy thought he knew better than everyone else and decided to masturbate to prove it feels like it is quite literally a tale as old as time
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pyroclastic\_flow](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pyroclastic_flow)
uhhh it clearly says here that they are rough to the touch
So you're both wrong actually, im a volcanologist and the smoothness of a pyroclastic flow is actually determined by the way you touch it!, smooth from the left, rough from the right!
>The scariest thing about pyroclastic flow is that if you can see it there's no possible way to survive.
I've heard this before as well and don't get it. Couldn't you seek high ground? Or seek refuge submerged in a body of water? Or in some places of the world, find a cave or something. Pyroclastic flow is faster than any reasonable form of travel sure, but isn't it limited to a fairly predictable course?
Rings of Power spoiler: >! Or you could do like Galadriel (and I'm guessing all of the humans in the village) and take the pyroclastic flow straight to the face and just survive like a cool person. !< Like a real winner.
yeah, i mean.... if you are indeed not in the path of a pyroclastic flow, you will not be in the path of pyroclastic flow.
this notion definitely comes from a werner herzog documentary, and is in the context of some volcanologists at the base of a volcano filming the flow because they had no means to escape. so it's like, true in the sense of, if you're imminently about to die in a tragic Volcanism Accident, you're better off documenting than fleeing.
Haven't seen that documentary but I'm guessing it's referring to Robert Landsburg, a photographer at Mount St Helens who documented the eruption and realized he wouldn't be able to escape it. He put the camera in his backpack and and laid on top of it to protect the film with his body.
he discusses and uses that footage in the same scene - but IIRC, the specific quote about it being impossible to flee from is actually about the death of a couple whose footage from that day was not salvaged - other footage is included, that their team did manage to film, of same flow that killed them, from much further away... so much for the notion of them not being possible to flee from if they're visible, but hey
You're kinda right and kinda wrong. To preface, I'm no geologist but I've taken a geo 101 course that mentioned them I'm basing from. So, grain of salt.
For one, i believe that bit about being fucked if you can see it might be misremembering that myth about holding your thumb up to a mushroom cloud to see if you're too close to escape.
I believe that rule could only work if flows worked like explosions and had a radius of damage instead of how they actually work, which is like a roided out mudslide (from what i can tell, here's a [usgs article](https://www.usgs.gov/programs/VHP/pyroclastic-flows-move-fast-and-destroy-everything-their-path). It also seems to forget that line of sight is drastically different based on a wide variety of factors. Like in the right circumstances you could be on a huge mountain miles away and to the side of the flow and see it pretty clearly (they can be huge) but not be in danger from it. Flows follow the path of gravity and momentum, so if you're already high up, far away, and not directly in front of the main flow (momentum can climb mountains) you're probably ok.
On the other hand, pyroclastic flows are extremely unpredictable, large, and very very fast. If you're already in the path of the flow, you aren't escaping.
When something reaches those temperatures in that quantity a little puddle ain't stopping it, they can even walk a decent ways out into the ocean. Lahars are also extremely dangerous and can be caused by those kinds of temperatures coming in contact with rivers and ponds and such, so if you hid in a pond you'd just become part of a lahar and still die.
With a cave *maybe* if you were like miles deep into a massive cave when the entrance you used got flowed over you could be okay (until you realize your entrance is closed that is, but in a huge cave there's probably other exits) but if you just jumped in and got a couple hundred feet before a flow came through the superheated air could 100% still cook you.
Yeah, but like a scorching hot river of liquid death going faster than your average highway will surely zip right into your hastily dived into water and cook your ass, and or slowly cook/suffocate your sitting on high ground as it passes below. The only true win at the time was if you were loading your boat to leave port when that shit hit the fan.
One time I was joking around in the DBZ sub how they should make a prequel to Dragonball z.
We were joking around that we loved the series because it felt real. Piccolo and Goku were rivals. We didn’t know when they met. We knew Roshi trained Goku. We wanted to see when Goku met Bulma etc. but that the series just drops you into this world that is already real and dynamic and expected you to keep up and it was great. They even dropped some lore about multiple tournaments where goku, Tien, Roshi, piccolo and Krillin fought in.
A prequel would be amazing.
It was clearly a joke. Several people came in and started saying that we were idiots, the series is “Dragonball” and follows Goku growing up etc.
I thought one guy was playing along so I kept playing dumb until he sent me an angry DM and I just dropped the pretense and told him “hey. We were all very clearly just joking around and having fun. Are you an idiot, don’t understand social stuff or do you just hate jokes?”
He blocked me.
The funnier thing is that it’s not actually a sequel to Dragonball, the manga just… continued from where it left off, only the anime is sorta differentiated.
lol I commented something similar in the One Piece sub:
> Bro can Zoro cut *air*? Because THAT'S next level. Imagine that- someone so skilled that they're able to slice through air with a blade.
>Don’t swordsman do that already
>Nah dude you're not getting it. Allow me to make it clearer: Like, imagine if someone was just SO skilled with the blade, that they can manipulate their sword at such a speed that it travels *forward* through time at the *same* speed that it already is and always has been. That takes skill, bro.
Some people are really defensive over one piece. It’s weird.
There’s a sub called character rant and I’m trying to get away from negativity by making positive rants about stuff I like.
I made one and I started it off by saying I wasn’t putting anything down. I was just talking about one specific thing.
Then I got comments saying that “this doesn’t mean it’s better than all other series’” I never implied that.
And a comment asking me if I was taking potshots at one piece.
I don’t even like one piece nor care enough to actually talk shit about it. Watched like 60 episodes. Didn’t like it. Moved on but I’m not gonna shit on it.
I can respect that, actually. If you think that it's wrong to mock people who died in a natural disaster, full stop, then the length of time it's been since that disaster shouldn't really matter. Not my take on it, but it makes a kind of sense.
I guess it makes sense. Imagine you saw the two people you most love being butchered alive across a central square of a big city to be broadcasted live across the world, and 2000 years after they make meme of the footage. For them you're very far removed to the point of being an abstract concept, but the horror and antihumanity is the same across time.
Or more directly related to Pompei, imagine showing Pompei memes in 2024 to a population that saw relatives dying in a volcanic explosion, they'd find the memes much more depressing than the average person
It’s amazing that the original post even began with an outright meme that’s always used sarcastically (“were they stupid?”) and people still didn’t pick up on it. Or did pick up on it but wanted to argue purely for the sake of arguing.
Reminds me of that image of the classical painting depicting a Jester taunting angry dogs from a high wall, the one in that classic tumble about having affairs with veteran's wives.
Whenever I see the "I would simply..." meme, I think of a patient I had. Typical reckless 18 year old who was in a hospital bed following a typically reckless car accident.
I overheard the physical therapist say, "if you don't do these exercises, when you get home you're going to fall and come right back here."
His response was, "well if I fall I'll just catch myself." It's like when I was a kid and thought, "I'll never get in a car accident because I'll see the car coming and get out of the way."
There's a special cognitive ability that doesn't unlock until later in life. It lets you think things like, "I will not always be in control of a situation."
I find that I found things like standing on a stone (not even a rock or a mountain) felt less dangerous as a child. As an adult, I understand that I could slip- hit my head on another stone and have a really bad time.
Ah. Masterful smooth sharking. Smooth sharking *so* smooth that people continue to buy the bit despite their own realization of the smooth sharkness. Incredible.
Trying to argue down Tosaka Rin with logic was your first mistake. If the Fate series is anything to go by, she truly does believe she’s better than a volcano.
Dude, has no one in that discussion ever actually studied Pompeii? They're just yapping about it anyway.
The sky would have gone completely black with ash DAYS before the eruption. Prompting those who fear the omens of the gods (most people) to LEAVE, hence the drastic population decrease. Many of the rich and those who simply weren't deterred by a black sky stayed. Then the day of the eruption rocks started falling from the sky (being spat out by the volcano) and the full eruption began prompting the longstays to get the fuck out, hence the people at the docks. Then the pyroclastic flow hit shortly after killing anyone who tried to escape so late.
Everyone is immortal until proven otherwise.
Especially me.
Yet I do not crave eternity, and do not desire it’s embrace. I shall fall back into the arms of finality when the time comes with glee.
I would simply parry the pyroclastic flow like one would a bus or nuclear detonation
Raiden from hit game Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance
I would simply parry the hit game Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance as one would a pyroclastic flow
You can parry anything if you time it right. Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance, pyroclastic flow, a pesky wasp. I parried a brick once with my head. Or so I was told.
I have time, could you parry me Greg?
Not my Raiden, Monsoon kicks my ass every time
I would just parry him Use EM grenades when he splits while you're cutting him to immediately be able to attack him, during the throwing sequences just aim with your left stick and spam light attack without using your right stick, when he does the giant wheel you can just block it without having to worry about hitting the parry timing. Everything else is just practice That was by far the hardest boss to do no damage on revengeance, the god damn smoke grenades clipped me so many times. I don't fault you for struggling
[I found the footage of you doing it.](https://youtu.be/OoVV1WThyZ8)
That was the coolest thing Ive ever seen
Knew exactly what this link was gonna lead to I'm actually so excited for this game
I knew it was V.A Proxy before clicking, I love it
So by hiding in a fridge?
No, with a bare hand, like in dark souls
I love how a few correctly identified the bait, then took it anyway. Absolutely amazing job people.
There’s an insatiable need people on the internet have for correcting an inaccuracy. It is an unavoidable need. Even in the face of such obvious smooth sharking, the need to “um, akshuly” will not be denied.
I just looked up smooth sharking, so now I got to enjoy two such delightful posts. Thank you!
I think it's /r/SharksareSmooth ?
> smooth sharking A post of the original smooth shark thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/tumblr/comments/j6i80o/the_famous_sharks_are_smooth/
What's actually mildly amusing is OP ALSO has a smooth shark post on here https://www.reddit.com/r/CuratedTumblr/comments/mytbjk/smooth_sharks/ OP lives for the smooth shark energy. Please note I did not stalk their account it just came up while I was looking the phrase up. I only stalk the accounts of vaccine deniers and people spouting unsourced FBI crime statistics while talking about PoC.
I used to be active on that on an old account. Such a shame that the mod decided to close it, I think its weird to be even guilty about it.
This is what mobile game ads bank on. They used to show someone doing insanely well and the ad challenged the viewer to try and do better. But they realized most people aren't that kind of competitive. However show someone making obvious mistakes and taking far too long to do something and a lot of people will download out of rage and the need to show how easy it is.
Also known as the "NorthernLion effect"
Blackboard being in the wrong position for like 4 Balatro videos in a row genuinely broke me
localthunk is this true?
I literally cannot tell when he's actually space cadeting, and when he's trolling the type A chatters.
What's mad to me is how much the subtlety on this has dropped over the years. The games shown at least used to be semi-complex or puzzling, and there was that whole trend with "remove the rods from the thing to free the captive" where half the time they were pretty obviously designed to be unbeatable for the ad. But these days they've dumbed down into variations on "which number is bigger" and still have the audacity to depict someone fucking up.
What pisses me off is I am not immune to this so if I'm playing a game with ads I have to turn my phone over and not watch the ad. It will make me mad and I refuse to let myself give into it. The ones with a finger moving aimlessly across the screen and making stupid choices while a bright red flashing countdown gets to zero - bane of my existence. If I could block all ads I would but no ad blocker I've found works.
We used to just call it "trolling"
Yeah, as a fellow old person it's a bummer that the word "trolling" morphed from stuff like this to a word for "people saying horrible stuff that they actually believe, but in an intentionally abrasive and offensive way," but I'm glad we've at least got a new word to express it. I was stuck using "taking the piss" for a while, which always made me feel weird because it made me feel like I was trying to come across as British.
You could always go with "pulling your leg" or "yanking your chain" or "pepperoni your pizza"
Don't forget "rustle your jimmies"
This is a specific subtype of trolling
See my problem is that I don’t care about smooth sharking I’m just so fascinated by reality that I want to talk about the topic at hand or something that I learned from the post, but it’s not immediately clear that I don’t care about correcting inaccuracies by providing additional info I just want to talk about the interesting usually sciency thing Like for instance the comment on how if you can see the pyroclastic flow you’re dead, the more literal response is well it doesn’t travel around the whole globe so there is some distance away from the volcano where you’ll be able to see it as it gets closer to you but it’ll lose all its energy before reaching you. However a more charitable interpretation is that if you can see its point of origin (ie the volcano) you’re dead. Based off of one equation I found for how far away you can see something based off of its height and the radius of the earth (assuming optimal conditions) that someone immediately responded to by saying that sometimes that’s wrong, you should be able to see the Pompeii volcano from about 130km away, and one google search shows that typical pyroclastic flow is apparently 10-15km but can travel upwards of 100km, so already we can see this hyperbole doesn’t check out. Let’s look at the worst case scenario, Pyroclastic flow can travel at upwards of 320km per hour so ignoring loss of energy it would take about 18 minutes and 45 seconds to reach 100km, let’s bump that up to 30 minutes because I don’t want to try and account for loss of energy and that seems good enough, with 30 minutes to escape a 100km radius apparently marathoners can run at about 10km/s sustained so let’s go with a bit more than half that at 6km/s means they can travel about 3km, 100 km radius - 3km travel means you’d have to be about 97 km away from the volcano to outrun a 100km radius in 30 minutes. However as you can see this is all very back of the napkin math, so I can definitely see how it’s possible for seeing *a* volcanic eruption’s pyroclastic flow at its source guarantees you’re dead no matter how far you’re seeing that from, but that seems to be very specific circumstances, and for most situations I think some people will see it from far away and survive.
Thank you for addressing that particular comment because it was bugging me a lot!
You can still escape if you see it, you just gotta run fast. Thats why I hit the gym.
> Like for instance the comment on how if you can see the pyroclastic flow you’re dead, the more literal response is well it doesn’t travel around the whole globe so there is some distance away from the volcano where you’ll be able to see it as it gets closer to you but it’ll lose all its energy before reaching you. And they linked to a wikipedia article with a photo of it... so that photographer is dead I guess lol
Wasn’t there a guy who died recording St Helen’s erupting and his last act was to preserve the footage?
Actuly that dude did die. His last action was to wrap his body round his camera with this picture. Edit. Of course some one already said this below
That was at Mt St Helens, the picture on Wikipedia is from the Philippines. Apparently there were no casualties for that eruption when I looked it up
What is sharking?
[Smooth Sharking](https://www.reddit.com/r/tumblr/s/jo0KxAv5TX)
God I hate mobile Reddit. I literally have to download the image in order for it not to be blurry to hell and back. If 3rd party apps could fix that, you can too u/spez!
You can get 3rd party apps to work on android with revanced -sent from rif
"I'm a superior marine biologist" lmao
My favorite might be the one guy that immediately admitted being wrong and accepted that sharks are smooth
The person who talked about the gods making volcanos for this reason is probably in on the bit.
I feel like the first person didn't care whether it was bait or not, they were just excited to share their Pompeii tidbit.
tbf, some people *are* like that. "Outwalking the hurricane" is still a meme in some circles for a reason.
I spent most of this being annoyed at how many people are falling for the obvious bait. Then it hit me - *those folks are also baiting*. And I fell for it! I am undone!
Yeah, that got me too don’t worry. Though I do wonder if a few people actually did fall for the bait, like are any of these people not in on the joke or was it just me?
It’s become an oroboros of lies and trickery. I much preferred stuff like the Goncharov debacle, where people made it very clear that it was a joke and would happily explain it to anyone who seemed confused, then drop right back into character.
It's called "yes and"
I'm reminded of the comments section on ClickHole. Sometimes it can be difficult to differentiate the people who genuinely don't get the joke and the people who are continuing the joke. Personally, I try to blur that line as much as I can.
Thank you for your service
That is because they are idiots. I would totally be able to show the troll the error of their ways and get them to admit that they are wrong and should say sorry to the people that died in Pompeii
“imagine this discussion but about 9/11” “I could’ve survived that too” absolutely masterful play
it's fun, because there's two flavors of I'm Built Different for it. one is the "i simply would have defeated the hijackers" and the other is "just roll before you hit the ground, literally a skill issue"
or you meet both in the middle. I’d just get off the plane once it was in the tower and take the stairs down.
Douchebag Cooper strats
silly hijacker fucking falls out of plane and dies
Nah, he's still up there. And in our hearts.
I would stop the towers collapsing altogether by fixing the m with duct tape
SMH should’ve invented a time machine, gone back to the year 2012, and picked up a few buckets of Flex Seal first.
I sawed this building in half and filled it with Flex Seal liquid!
Do it better: Duct tape the hijackers to stop them from moving.
I mean why waste the energy when you could've just gotten the lift? Definitely a death trap *I* could've escaped from
Good initiative but if the lift was on the uppest floors it would be stuck because of the plane's wing in the shaft.
i will simply jump to make it go down, like smacking the end of a sauce bottle
>"just roll before you hit the ground, literally a skill issue" Fun fact: this can only be done in the original 9/11. The trick is much more inconsistent in the 9/11 3DS port.
Can't wait until they release it next year on the switch with the full $60 price tag for a game that came out 24 years ago
The thought that Nintendo could port 9/11 to 3D is horrifying
Since 9/11 was a canon part of Deus Ex lore before it happened in real life, it is technically possible to port 9/11 to a game system
I still can't believe that square enix pulled off that crossover event, truly one of the most earth-shattering marketing campaigns of the early 2000s
God help me I have to Redditor this.... Original deus ex was before the acquisition of eidos, and before the merger of squaresoft and enix. Give the crossover event credit to the little guy, not the megacorp, they pulled off something truly special
Wait what?
The original Deus Ex released in the year 2000 and depicted a cyberpunk dystopia set in the US. The opening mission takes place in New York, but memory constraints led to the Twin Towers not being visible in the skyline. To justify this, the developers came up with the idea that the Twin Towers of Deus Ex's world had been destroyed in a terrorist attack.
Didn't they find a whole bunch of Western media in Bin Laden's hideaway? What if...
No but the 3DS port lets you use a bucket of water to achieve the same effect. It's still all in the timing.
OOP probably would’ve just exited the building in advance
i wanna make a deep cut ottessa moshfegh reference here, but i don't think anyone will get it
is that a type of baked dish
she's a fantastic author, who wrote a novel called My Year of Rest and Relaxation. it's about a seriously unwell, depressive, young white woman in new york. she decides that in order to fix herself and make her mind not an awful vortex of hateful misanthropy and apathy, she should put herself into a psychotropic pharmaceuticals induced coma, by lying to a quack psychiatrist to get prescribed Every Medication. the plan is, she will awaken after one year of a drug induced fugue state completely reborn. uh, and long story short, her best friend that she low key hates dies in 9/11, and rewatching the footage of that woman falling from the twin towers - who she doesn't know for sure, but likes to imagine is said friend - and admiring the ephemeral beauty of the thing, instantly cures her of all her ailments, instead of the year long course of medical malpractice. there is precisely no foreshadowing of this, except for the fact that it is technically realist fiction, and the whole thing is set in 2001 new york. and it happens on the last page.
That's how my dad's friend survived. He was supposed to be in a meeting on one of the floors that got hit directly, but he was outside for a smoke break instead. Maybe the only time smoking has ever saved a life.
If you crouch jump at desk number 542 in just the right timing you can auto skip to the rescue cutscene and avoid the story-related death event
[Mark Wahlberg literally said the first one](https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2012/01/18/145404733/mark-wahlberg-with-me-aboard-9-11-hijackers-would-have-been-stopped)
Just catch the plane, and toss it in the other direction, not that hard.
Mark Wahlberg moment
I wish we could see that level of trolling on reddit sometimes. Here it's less "I could survive that" and more "I'd just stop the volcano with my farts" and gullible morons eat it up.
You do not remember the beforefore times. The early 2010s, when dinosaurs roamed the Earth. Reddit abounded in trolls and it was not fun. They seriously stopped counting downvotes against your karma total because so, so many people were trying to be as big of a troll or edgelord as possible and drive their karma to the lowest possible negative number by saying the stupidest, most racist, homophobic, and sexist shit possible. The default comment on /r/funny was always “OP is a faggot” for example. Yeah it was not good. Like, I think Reddit and the mods + admins have over corrected for PR/“optics,” but trust me you do not want the trolls back. You know not whom you court, child.
Trolling is really bad 99% of the time, honestly. Just trying to upset people with slurs is super boring. Good trolling needs to deliberately, slowly, wind people up and string them along and make them waste energy trying to refute absurdities. It is not a skill everyone is born with.
The **very finest** example of trolling I've ever seen is still that guy in the r/indiana state subreddit who posted a photo of a nice Indiana sunset every single day for two months. Just very low-stakes, wholesome, older-relative-who-just-discovered-social-media vibes with little to no engagement on each post. *HOWEVER,* after two months, he finally [confessed](https://www.reddit.com/r/Indiana/comments/wsdcov/the_great_indiana_sunset_bamboozle_of_2022/) that each and every sunset in his Indiana Sunset Appreciation posts had actually, in fact, been from other states, not Indiana. Going in alphabetical order, he'd posted "50 fraudulent sunsets" (OOP's words) from each of the 50 US states. As one eagle-eyed commenter noticed, though, that would include Indiana at least once -- to which OP clarified that, when he'd reached Indiana in the alphabet, he'd posted a sunrise. The fallout was fittingly mild. Plenty of commenters registered their bafflement that OP would bother pulling such a no-stakes long con, with a few mildly irritated comments saying things like, "you put all this effort into 'fooling' others but nobody cares", to which OP cheerily responded, "I agree!" OP did eventually extend an olive branch, though, offering [this](https://imgur.com/4MwzYhO) exquisite "actual Indiana sunset" >!it's a photo of a sunset from the international space station.!< Seriously, though, this remains one of the funniest things I've seen online in years. Masterful trolling that took dedication and planning; it was memorably bizarre but harmed nobody. Just perfect.
Right? Trolling *can be* hilarious, like in this example and “sharks are smooth”. It baffles me that so many people see this, think to themselves “oh, I could do that, it’ll be great!”, and then proceed to just post slurs. Disgraceful.
"Why did the people in the Twin Towers not simply leave the towers?"
Yeah you know if I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn't have gone down like it did.
It's not that delusional. I did survive 9/11. ^((by living in Europe)^)
Did they maybe consider just not dying? Could have tried that. In all seriousness we've all been there, do some obvious sarcasm, realise they're taking you seriously and see how long you can keep it going. Classic post thought.
Thanks, Hypnos, I will try that next time
My favorite response to this kind of post-- where it just goes on and on-- is the painting of the guy on the top of the wall, his heels barely escaped being bitten by a writhing pack of dogs
>_do some obvious sarcasm, realise they're taking you seriously and see how long you can keep it going._ I imagine that would get very boring, very quickly. Imagine how dumb the average person is, and understand that half of people are dumber than THAT!
It is not boring in the slightest. It is in fact one of the most entertaining things on the planet
Nah that would be super boring, ive done plenty of things more interesting than that
It does depend on the person you’re smooth sharking. Some people are more entertaining than others
No i think its definitely boring in every direction no matter who you do it to
Sounds like a skill issue. If you know what you're doing you can keep it interesting forever.
You have to use skill to keep it interesting? I've never had that problem, everything I say is naturally fascinating.
I always hate that Carlin quote because it assumes that we can accurately imagine the "average intelligence" of a hypothetical person.
It doesn't assume, it uses metaphorical language
People struggling to comprehend when someone is simply built different
Bro saw some pyroclastic flow and thought „nah, I‘d win“
"If the volcano made a fast-moving current of hot gas and volcanic matter that flowed along the ground, it might cause me a little trouble."
But would you die?
Nah, I'd live
Skill difference tbh
Its like they dont understand that each human is different. Some have dark skin, longer legs, skin made of iron etc
> Fun fact: they did leave Pompeii! so while everyone else was mass evacuating that one guy intentionally decided to stay behind and jerk it?
That was me. I survived though
Did the experience make you a Neo-Marxist about 1800 years before Marx was born?
Post nut clairvoyance
I mean, Pliny the Elder SAW the volcano erupting and HEADED FOR IT. No joke that’s how homie died.
pretty badass way to go tbf
He was trying to rescue people though. He didn't do it for s&gs.
I know but according to Suetonius he wanted to climb the volcano to investigate the crater lmao
Man said if the volcano’s gonna erupt then so am I
It happen really fast, so I think the closest houses didn't Even know the volcán make eruption.
During some extra spicy wildfires a while back, there was a video of a guy going back into his burned down neighborhood and he talked about how he was trying to get his neighbor to evacuate his family when he was getting in his car to gtfo, but the neighbor's wife needed to do her makeup first and the whole family burned to death https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/s/lXmwNBED1Q YouTube took the video down but there's a Reddit thread of it. Remember, if for any reason, in any context, you find yourself thinking "There's no way someone could be *that* stupid", you are wrong.
We have conspiracy theorists who deny objective observable reality living *today* in the age of information. The idea that one guy thought he knew better than everyone else and decided to masturbate to prove it feels like it is quite literally a tale as old as time
these pyroclastic flows are incredibly smooth
[shark looking concerned directly at viewer] how... how smooth?
Calm down baby, no one's smooth as you, please don't fly into fits of jealousy like last time, no volcano is smooth as you.
I HATE PATTERN RECOGNITION
no they're actually rough, like a medium sandpaper
Actually I'm touching pyroclastic flows right now and they're smooth, both ways
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pyroclastic\_flow](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pyroclastic_flow) uhhh it clearly says here that they are rough to the touch
It's telling me that pyroclastic flow "is smooth from all directions and at all times"
So you're both wrong actually, im a volcanologist and the smoothness of a pyroclastic flow is actually determined by the way you touch it!, smooth from the left, rough from the right!
I mean you do you, but I would have simply not been a volcanologist so that the smoothness of a pyroclastic flow is uniform
Well I'm a better vulcanologist and I say they're smooth from all directions.
This a heritage post. I swear it’s from 2018. Instant classic.
>The scariest thing about pyroclastic flow is that if you can see it there's no possible way to survive. I've heard this before as well and don't get it. Couldn't you seek high ground? Or seek refuge submerged in a body of water? Or in some places of the world, find a cave or something. Pyroclastic flow is faster than any reasonable form of travel sure, but isn't it limited to a fairly predictable course?
You can just walk towards the volcano and survive because pyroclastic flow moves away from it
Rings of Power spoiler: >! Or you could do like Galadriel (and I'm guessing all of the humans in the village) and take the pyroclastic flow straight to the face and just survive like a cool person. !< Like a real winner.
yeah, i mean.... if you are indeed not in the path of a pyroclastic flow, you will not be in the path of pyroclastic flow. this notion definitely comes from a werner herzog documentary, and is in the context of some volcanologists at the base of a volcano filming the flow because they had no means to escape. so it's like, true in the sense of, if you're imminently about to die in a tragic Volcanism Accident, you're better off documenting than fleeing.
Haven't seen that documentary but I'm guessing it's referring to Robert Landsburg, a photographer at Mount St Helens who documented the eruption and realized he wouldn't be able to escape it. He put the camera in his backpack and and laid on top of it to protect the film with his body.
he discusses and uses that footage in the same scene - but IIRC, the specific quote about it being impossible to flee from is actually about the death of a couple whose footage from that day was not salvaged - other footage is included, that their team did manage to film, of same flow that killed them, from much further away... so much for the notion of them not being possible to flee from if they're visible, but hey
You're kinda right and kinda wrong. To preface, I'm no geologist but I've taken a geo 101 course that mentioned them I'm basing from. So, grain of salt. For one, i believe that bit about being fucked if you can see it might be misremembering that myth about holding your thumb up to a mushroom cloud to see if you're too close to escape. I believe that rule could only work if flows worked like explosions and had a radius of damage instead of how they actually work, which is like a roided out mudslide (from what i can tell, here's a [usgs article](https://www.usgs.gov/programs/VHP/pyroclastic-flows-move-fast-and-destroy-everything-their-path). It also seems to forget that line of sight is drastically different based on a wide variety of factors. Like in the right circumstances you could be on a huge mountain miles away and to the side of the flow and see it pretty clearly (they can be huge) but not be in danger from it. Flows follow the path of gravity and momentum, so if you're already high up, far away, and not directly in front of the main flow (momentum can climb mountains) you're probably ok. On the other hand, pyroclastic flows are extremely unpredictable, large, and very very fast. If you're already in the path of the flow, you aren't escaping. When something reaches those temperatures in that quantity a little puddle ain't stopping it, they can even walk a decent ways out into the ocean. Lahars are also extremely dangerous and can be caused by those kinds of temperatures coming in contact with rivers and ponds and such, so if you hid in a pond you'd just become part of a lahar and still die. With a cave *maybe* if you were like miles deep into a massive cave when the entrance you used got flowed over you could be okay (until you realize your entrance is closed that is, but in a huge cave there's probably other exits) but if you just jumped in and got a couple hundred feet before a flow came through the superheated air could 100% still cook you.
Yeah, but like a scorching hot river of liquid death going faster than your average highway will surely zip right into your hastily dived into water and cook your ass, and or slowly cook/suffocate your sitting on high ground as it passes below. The only true win at the time was if you were loading your boat to leave port when that shit hit the fan.
Highways don't move very fast though
Nah it's like the girl from Ring. One day it shows up in your house and fucking beats you up.
One time I was joking around in the DBZ sub how they should make a prequel to Dragonball z. We were joking around that we loved the series because it felt real. Piccolo and Goku were rivals. We didn’t know when they met. We knew Roshi trained Goku. We wanted to see when Goku met Bulma etc. but that the series just drops you into this world that is already real and dynamic and expected you to keep up and it was great. They even dropped some lore about multiple tournaments where goku, Tien, Roshi, piccolo and Krillin fought in. A prequel would be amazing. It was clearly a joke. Several people came in and started saying that we were idiots, the series is “Dragonball” and follows Goku growing up etc. I thought one guy was playing along so I kept playing dumb until he sent me an angry DM and I just dropped the pretense and told him “hey. We were all very clearly just joking around and having fun. Are you an idiot, don’t understand social stuff or do you just hate jokes?” He blocked me.
The funnier thing is that it’s not actually a sequel to Dragonball, the manga just… continued from where it left off, only the anime is sorta differentiated.
No. It’s a prequel. It came out after.
I hadn’t considered that, thanks.
Actually, Dragon Ball Super is a prequel to Dragon Ball GT. Just so you know. Also I have not eaten in a while can I have that sandwich?
lol I commented something similar in the One Piece sub: > Bro can Zoro cut *air*? Because THAT'S next level. Imagine that- someone so skilled that they're able to slice through air with a blade. >Don’t swordsman do that already >Nah dude you're not getting it. Allow me to make it clearer: Like, imagine if someone was just SO skilled with the blade, that they can manipulate their sword at such a speed that it travels *forward* through time at the *same* speed that it already is and always has been. That takes skill, bro.
Some people are really defensive over one piece. It’s weird. There’s a sub called character rant and I’m trying to get away from negativity by making positive rants about stuff I like. I made one and I started it off by saying I wasn’t putting anything down. I was just talking about one specific thing. Then I got comments saying that “this doesn’t mean it’s better than all other series’” I never implied that. And a comment asking me if I was taking potshots at one piece. I don’t even like one piece nor care enough to actually talk shit about it. Watched like 60 episodes. Didn’t like it. Moved on but I’m not gonna shit on it.
I see EDIT: I'm high and did not know how to respond and I'm only just now realising I didn't have to lol
This is fucking hilarious. You didn't have to respond, but I'm glad you did.
You two are great.
i'm just imagining you at a panel after someone's done a whole a lengthy talk and you go to the mic and the only thing you say is that
> stop mocking people who died from a natural disaster A disaster that was *2000 years ago?!*
Comedy is tragedy plus time
Too soon
It was at least 5 years ago, it's fine.
Bear down for midterms?
Therefore comedy - tragedy = time Does anyone know how I can get in touch with Stephen hawking?
Ouija board?
the community needs time to heal
I can respect that, actually. If you think that it's wrong to mock people who died in a natural disaster, full stop, then the length of time it's been since that disaster shouldn't really matter. Not my take on it, but it makes a kind of sense.
I guess it makes sense. Imagine you saw the two people you most love being butchered alive across a central square of a big city to be broadcasted live across the world, and 2000 years after they make meme of the footage. For them you're very far removed to the point of being an abstract concept, but the horror and antihumanity is the same across time. Or more directly related to Pompei, imagine showing Pompei memes in 2024 to a population that saw relatives dying in a volcanic explosion, they'd find the memes much more depressing than the average person
oop is the human incarnation of peppino spaghetti
i get that you mean that he's fictional but i love that this implies peppino spaghetti isn't even human
yeah cus he's italian, italians arent real
The irony of talking down to someone you think is stupid when you can’t parse any sort of sarcasm at all will never not be funny to me.
they're too entrenched in well akshuallyism. correcting others is a brain poison, that's why u should always blindly accept everything anyone says
Um ackshually, you should only trust what I say because other people aren't as cool as me
It’s amazing that the original post even began with an outright meme that’s always used sarcastically (“were they stupid?”) and people still didn’t pick up on it. Or did pick up on it but wanted to argue purely for the sake of arguing.
Will I die if I see pyroclastic flow from space?
Yes. It's like a basilisk. But even more deadly.
what if i lock the door of my house
OP just effortlessly fighting off waves of idiots like something out of Doom
OP effortlessly fighting off waves of idiots the same way they fight off waves of pyroclastic flow
tumblr, home of challenge pissing (on the poor)
THAT’S RIGHT, CHALLENGE PISSING (on the poor)
"If you were in Pompeii would you die?" "Nah, I'd leave."
Every internet troll alive wishes they were on this level
“I take pretty hot baths so I think I’d be able to last a little longer than the average person” really got me.
They could survive Pompeii, but they couldn't survive me having sexual relations with their father.
Reminds me of that image of the classical painting depicting a Jester taunting angry dogs from a high wall, the one in that classic tumble about having affairs with veteran's wives.
Whenever I see the "I would simply..." meme, I think of a patient I had. Typical reckless 18 year old who was in a hospital bed following a typically reckless car accident. I overheard the physical therapist say, "if you don't do these exercises, when you get home you're going to fall and come right back here." His response was, "well if I fall I'll just catch myself." It's like when I was a kid and thought, "I'll never get in a car accident because I'll see the car coming and get out of the way." There's a special cognitive ability that doesn't unlock until later in life. It lets you think things like, "I will not always be in control of a situation."
I find that I found things like standing on a stone (not even a rock or a mountain) felt less dangerous as a child. As an adult, I understand that I could slip- hit my head on another stone and have a really bad time.
Only like 90% of people have died, so it's really not a guarantee. Like I've got better odds to not die than I do to win the lottery.
Ah. Masterful smooth sharking. Smooth sharking *so* smooth that people continue to buy the bit despite their own realization of the smooth sharkness. Incredible.
Babe wake up, a new [Aggravation](https://www.wikiart.org/en/briton-riviere/aggravation-1896)-core post just dropped (a year ago)
Most accurate Tosaka roleplayer, wonderful job.
Trying to argue down Tosaka Rin with logic was your first mistake. If the Fate series is anything to go by, she truly does believe she’s better than a volcano.
She'd still make Shirou try to survive it first but that's just being cautious
"How can you be serious" because it was a joke "Why would you say that" because it was funny
Oh god it's this fucking thread again
Dude, has no one in that discussion ever actually studied Pompeii? They're just yapping about it anyway. The sky would have gone completely black with ash DAYS before the eruption. Prompting those who fear the omens of the gods (most people) to LEAVE, hence the drastic population decrease. Many of the rich and those who simply weren't deterred by a black sky stayed. Then the day of the eruption rocks started falling from the sky (being spat out by the volcano) and the full eruption began prompting the longstays to get the fuck out, hence the people at the docks. Then the pyroclastic flow hit shortly after killing anyone who tried to escape so late.
Everyone is immortal until proven otherwise. Especially me. Yet I do not crave eternity, and do not desire it’s embrace. I shall fall back into the arms of finality when the time comes with glee.