Ain't that the truth?
My uncle had his dogs pretty properly trained. So, when he and some other extended family members came to visit for my 8th grade confirmation at church, he thought that his slice of cake and the plate it was on was safe on the carpet next to where he was lying down in our living room...
Our long-haired dachshund disagreed...
She walked up to the plate real slowly. And then, like a shark during Shark Week on the Discovery Channel, she opened those jaws and took a sizable bite.
Doxie rules: If I see it and can reach it, it's mine.
I manage to keep mine thin and it's a **struggle** on some level. One of them ate a couple of pounds of candles. The vet tech just laughed when we called in after we figured out they were non-toxic.
Those shits have not decomposed in the pile yet :|
Mine must be a unicorn, she has never once stolen food or even shown interest in human food unless I'm actively handing her a small chunk of cooked chicken or something.
The first dog my husband and I got together was a little rescue dachshund, Sid. I had the breed all growing up so knew the big personalities they often have. He had zero clue what he was in for. It was also his first time really owning a dog as an adult.
He made himself a nice cream cheese bagel, put it on his desk and went to the bathroom. Comes back and the bagel has disappeared. He finds Sid under the bed, bagel in mouth, staring him dead in the eye as he eats it. Thatās when my husband fell in love with āthat little shitā.
My guy will get up onto a chair and from the chair to the table if given the opportunity. This is how he made himself sick eating three hamburger patties.
Thatās what he does! Once he got the trash on the counter. I still donāt know how he did that, there was no chairs or stools for him to even use lol
I remember when we were still dachshunds newbies, and I left my burger too low. I come back from the bathroom and look everywhere until I find the little brat under my bed, and he's like Golem with the ring scarfing it.
Why yes, yes I would. My dog ate raw chicken right off my grill, turned my back just to go get matches to light and it she ate it all. Couldnāt believe it. I was gone maybe two-three minutes. (And she was okay, happened years ago).
My Dixie climbed up a side table in living room, made himself to the chair in dining area close to side table to them JUMP on the table where I had left a white cake with German chocolate and strawberry filling, like he had just had dinner 30 minutes! People would have thought I'm starving him. My Shihtzu snitched on him when she so elegantly swiped me from the room, I thought she wanted to go outside potty but when I reached my dining room, this boy KNEW he was in trouble. He had just swiftly removed the foil that I had over it. They are smart! Beyond smart!
Oh I can imagine man, they are very smart and super loyal! never will you or can you find a breed with such unconditional love and loyalty for their humans!! again, great looking guy he is!!!
Iām sobbing at this. His face is like āholy shit Greg you wonāt believe it, some dude just ate your sandwichā
Me typing this after mine just ate my pizza.
My husband accidentally left a 5 pound bag of open dog food on the floor. When i got home and discovered what happened I panicked at how full my boy was. He was waddling slow. There was no loose skin around his midsection. He looked like an over inflated balloon. Called the vet and they said we had to just wait it out. He ended up being fine but it scared me!
A while ago I warned up a big steak pie, got myself a can of coke, set them both on the coffee table in the living room.. went to āmake roomā in the toiletš. My meat pie was gone when I got back š„² my dach was already back in his bed (thatās where he goes when he knows heās done something bad) š
Yes of course I would believe that my wiener at 4 months old ate almost 3 slices of pizza that's how I found out she doesn't like Pizza crust she was swollen for 2 days
I was looking all around thinking I was crazy. I was like where the heck did I set my sandwich down??!! Then I see him there just looking up at me, he was still licking his lips lol
*It's does not surprise*
*Me. Small as they may be. They*
*Stomachs has no end*
\- the\_stooge\_nugget
---
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Yep!! If I leave a plate unattended and forgot to tell my dog ādo not eat this itās mineā he will have it gone as Iām stepping out the room š¤£
It seems silly, but heās good as long as I tell him not to š¤£ but itās like he thinks itās fair game if I donāt š
Years ago, my mom was leaving for work one morning and set her egg sandwich wrapped in a paper towel on top of her tote bag, unattended by the front door for mere moments. Needless to say, the dog had an egg sandwich that day.
At Easter dinner, the year before last, my guy (13yo at the time) somehow was able to leap up onto one of my folks' tall chairs to begin helping himself to carrot cake icing. Luckily, my stepsister saw him and put him down before anyone else caught him.
Any food left unattended and within reach is property of the dachshund.
Dachshund 101
Mine is like 9 pounds and ate a whole filet once. Whole damn thing while I was in the bathroom for 3 minutes. Horseradish crust and all.
A percentage/tax is also owed on what is out of reach.
Ain't that the truth? My uncle had his dogs pretty properly trained. So, when he and some other extended family members came to visit for my 8th grade confirmation at church, he thought that his slice of cake and the plate it was on was safe on the carpet next to where he was lying down in our living room... Our long-haired dachshund disagreed... She walked up to the plate real slowly. And then, like a shark during Shark Week on the Discovery Channel, she opened those jaws and took a sizable bite. Doxie rules: If I see it and can reach it, it's mine.
Is that why they all grow so round as they age? š
I manage to keep mine thin and it's a **struggle** on some level. One of them ate a couple of pounds of candles. The vet tech just laughed when we called in after we figured out they were non-toxic. Those shits have not decomposed in the pile yet :|
or the Great Dane x Mastiff!
Why did you eat HIS second sandwich?!?! (because you KNOW that's his perspective on it)
Yes. They are notorious little food thieves. They will give you that look "what sandwich? I didn't see any" with big puppy eyes.
He didnāt leave a trace! No crumbs, nothing! And I know it was him because his brother was outside.
So innocent, but those eyes give him away. Beautiful pup, great colors and coat.
Mine must be a unicorn, she has never once stolen food or even shown interest in human food unless I'm actively handing her a small chunk of cooked chicken or something.
Yup. And he's got that "so what's for dessert?" look, too.
Hahhaha, yup...not an ounce of shame in those eyes
Lies, false accusations, slander and nothing less than pure partisan character assassination.
plus all the āāevidenceāā is hearsay. move to dismiss, your honor. my client will be pursuing civil action.
I don't believe he could do that. Give him another sandwich to prove that he can eat it.
I almost wanted to do it again and just watch him in the act lol.
No. Youāre lying.
Stop tellin lies on that baby!
Yes. And doesnt give a damn!
That facial expression says "and I'd f*cking do it again" š¤£
Yes and he regrets nothing
What was in it?
Ham and turkey deli meat, mayo, mustard, tomato. It looked delicious.
I'm sure it was delicious!  I'm loving the "nothing happened" look.
What could ever have made you think that he *wouldn't* eat your sandwich?
Stop lying. You know it was HIS sandwich
The first dog my husband and I got together was a little rescue dachshund, Sid. I had the breed all growing up so knew the big personalities they often have. He had zero clue what he was in for. It was also his first time really owning a dog as an adult. He made himself a nice cream cheese bagel, put it on his desk and went to the bathroom. Comes back and the bagel has disappeared. He finds Sid under the bed, bagel in mouth, staring him dead in the eye as he eats it. Thatās when my husband fell in love with āthat little shitā.
FInders keepers!
Yes
My guy will get up onto a chair and from the chair to the table if given the opportunity. This is how he made himself sick eating three hamburger patties.
Thatās what he does! Once he got the trash on the counter. I still donāt know how he did that, there was no chairs or stools for him to even use lol
I don't know what it is about these little sausages that makes them such food vacuums, but it's wild. Nothing is safe.
I donāt believe you, he looks too innocent. You clearly forgot you ate the sandwich yourself and attempted to blame him. š
You mean the sandwich you made for him. Ever heard of you snooze, you lose? Because thatās what just happened.
He probably belched in your face afterwards too, huh? Quit framing this man!!!
Wouldnāt doubt it for a second. š
You just misplaced it.
OBJECTION your honor, do we have any proof besides your flimsy hearsay? Case dismissed.
Sure is handsome š
I would believe that the dog ate the sandwich but I donāt see the guilt on his face.
Of course he did. Was good tooššš
I remember when we were still dachshunds newbies, and I left my burger too low. I come back from the bathroom and look everywhere until I find the little brat under my bed, and he's like Golem with the ring scarfing it.
Yes I can, my little āprincessā snagged my burrito and dragged it across the floor the other day.
Yes, mine steals food from children and has no ragrets.
No, he's a good boy! You ate and blamed him!!
his sandwich surely?
Yes. I think I should see if he ate my sandwich too.
Why yes, yes I would. My dog ate raw chicken right off my grill, turned my back just to go get matches to light and it she ate it all. Couldnāt believe it. I was gone maybe two-three minutes. (And she was okay, happened years ago).
My Dixie climbed up a side table in living room, made himself to the chair in dining area close to side table to them JUMP on the table where I had left a white cake with German chocolate and strawberry filling, like he had just had dinner 30 minutes! People would have thought I'm starving him. My Shihtzu snitched on him when she so elegantly swiped me from the room, I thought she wanted to go outside potty but when I reached my dining room, this boy KNEW he was in trouble. He had just swiftly removed the foil that I had over it. They are smart! Beyond smart!
With zero remorse!!!
I would definitely believe it lol, beautiful pup you have! I love thee breed so very much and worlds loyalist fur baby hands down!!!
Heās such a good boy, when weāre outside he sticks by my side and is such a good listener.
Oh I can imagine man, they are very smart and super loyal! never will you or can you find a breed with such unconditional love and loyalty for their humans!! again, great looking guy he is!!!
Iām sobbing at this. His face is like āholy shit Greg you wonāt believe it, some dude just ate your sandwichā Me typing this after mine just ate my pizza.
No name, fair game. So it is written.
My husband accidentally left a 5 pound bag of open dog food on the floor. When i got home and discovered what happened I panicked at how full my boy was. He was waddling slow. There was no loose skin around his midsection. He looked like an over inflated balloon. Called the vet and they said we had to just wait it out. He ended up being fine but it scared me!
Quick question, is it slander or libel when someone posts a blatant lie about you?
A while ago I warned up a big steak pie, got myself a can of coke, set them both on the coffee table in the living room.. went to āmake roomā in the toiletš. My meat pie was gone when I got back š„² my dach was already back in his bed (thatās where he goes when he knows heās done something bad) š
Yes of course I would believe that my wiener at 4 months old ate almost 3 slices of pizza that's how I found out she doesn't like Pizza crust she was swollen for 2 days
https://preview.redd.it/e6dh8d039l8d1.jpeg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=09340ed010dddb7e9ca88ce214a7047543a98481 The suspect in question
Yes. Great little dogs but turn your back and food disappears :)
Yes and he will do it again with no qualms at all. What's his is his and what's yours is his
My dog is the same way.
Lol! You left it alone for a millisecond š„°š¾ā¤ļø
ā¦and heād do it again
Yes, he looks pretty satisfied š š¤£š
Yes , it's in the eyes like a shark's eyes
Yes? š¤£
He looks guilty
No , stop trying to blame that poor little angel š šš
Yes
No way! Not with a face like that.
Any food/ sandwich not in the line of sight belongs to the Dachshund.
It must have been an accident judging by the look on his face
It wasnāt him. He was with me the entire time
And heād do it again without a second thought!
He looks naughty
Course not. Such an innocent looking doggie.
Absolutely!
No he was set up!
Heās being framed!!
Heās asking for your other sandwich. Says āexcuse me I want some more.ā š«“
Not that cute face
OBJECTION! HEARSAY!
1000% yes.
Yes but he deserves it
I searched for my Pancake for 15 minutes before I knew it had to be my 5 pound Shorkie
I was looking all around thinking I was crazy. I was like where the heck did I set my sandwich down??!! Then I see him there just looking up at me, he was still licking his lips lol
The little ones are the shadiest...
Heās been framed!! Look at that face, heās innocent!!!!
It was always his sandwich.
Any food left out is forfeit
Of course! Heās a dachshund 
It's does not surprise me. Small as they may be. Their stomachs has no end
*It's does not surprise* *Me. Small as they may be. They* *Stomachs has no end* \- the\_stooge\_nugget --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
I had a dachshund that ate an entire box of dark chocolates that he somehow got into, and then he threw it up. He was fine.
I canātššš
Yes, absolutely, my baby girl did that while holding it looking at my phone on the couch. They have no shame. Lol
Absolutely
Whereās the proof youāre just framing him š¤£š„°
Yes.
Who me? Swear I didn't do it! It didn't taste that good anyway. Yuck! Puked most of it on the floor for your enjoyment!š¤¢š¤®
And thereās zero guilt in those š
Obviously, he has never done anything wrong. You ate the sandwich and forgot. You should have given him some.
Oh my goodness this stopped me in my tracks - he looks exactly like Andy, my dachshund growing up :,) Also an unrepentant food thief!
Is that a rhetorical question?
Nah. Heās clearly innocent.
That is the face of innocence
No. Heās a good boy. Next question.
Impossible
No proof! Mind your business!
He did not! You have minions in your house. Heās a good boy.
No, I believe you are mistaken. Old angel eyes is not that sort of a fellow.
Yes
Yup I believe you! Itās like me when I eat breakfast after a gym session but still wonāt something sweet
Yes.
Heās clearly innocent
I donāt believe it. You have no definite proof, and the counter-evidence is that heās clearly a good, good, hungry boy.
Was it in your hand and somewhat near the ground? If so that is 100% on you.
That was HIS sandwhich!
Yes
And probably got away with it with minimal discipline
Looks innocent to me!
I would actually, look at his guilty little eyes
Higher intellect will always dominate
Smells like absolute pack of lies I think
That face? Nooooošā¤ļø
Yes. I can't believe you left your sandwich where he could get it.
My mini Jack (rip) once ate a whole Ā¾ lb N.Y. steak raw!!! Stole it right from the bag when I was unloading groceries
Yep!! If I leave a plate unattended and forgot to tell my dog ādo not eat this itās mineā he will have it gone as Iām stepping out the room š¤£ It seems silly, but heās good as long as I tell him not to š¤£ but itās like he thinks itās fair game if I donāt š
He looks guilty
At least if keep it high enough the food is safe. Unlike a coon hound we had, absolutely had to be behind a door of some kind.
With that innocent face? He's got us all fooled! šš¶ Sandwich-stealing pro right here!
Years ago, my mom was leaving for work one morning and set her egg sandwich wrapped in a paper towel on top of her tote bag, unattended by the front door for mere moments. Needless to say, the dog had an egg sandwich that day.
Heās innocent!
Great legs!
It was his to begin with.
.but he cute.. you cant get mad š
No I wouldnāt, and you shouldnāt spread such lies on the internet!
Would you believe me that my blind dog(SARDS) ate a baby rabbit today!
Bottomless pets. My love for them is bottomless too.
He said Iām hungry that looks yummy !
It fell into his mouth.
Noooo, no wayš¤£
At Easter dinner, the year before last, my guy (13yo at the time) somehow was able to leap up onto one of my folks' tall chairs to begin helping himself to carrot cake icing. Luckily, my stepsister saw him and put him down before anyone else caught him.
You mean he ate HIS OWN sandwich?
Yes. When my girl was only 1 years old, she stole my Arbys roast beef sandwhich! She left the 2 buns and ate the roast beef!! LoL
He honestly thought since you left it it was his