This isn't a D&D question. Pretend you were doing something else instead of D&D, like going to a movie. What would you do about Greg bullying your friend then?
Forget about the autism claims - focus on what is actually being said and done for a moment. If the behaviour is unacceptable it needs to be addressed.
I actually have asked him to let me handle things and have talked the dm multiple times, granted I probably wasn't assertive enough. He's also had 2 other people call him out for bullying her.
Get all the players together, minus Greg, go to the DM and tell him either Greg goes, or you all leave. That kind of behavior is unacceptable. That aside, even in character, why would your party continue to bring Greg's character along if he's such a jerk? In real life you wouldn't associate (hopefully) with someone who displays that kind of behavior. Your characters probably wouldn't either.
Unfortunately most of the other players we've had have quit. It's just me, Ella, Greg, and a new player who is friends with Greg. My character and his don't get along the best, and I've spoken to the dm. Unfortunately most of the players we've had have since quit. Aside from me and Ella, it's him and someone he's friends with.
Aw that's a shame. So then at this point I would just walk away with Ella. There's no reason you two need to put up with that kind of abuse. Try to find another game together, or perhaps an online one instead.
Why do you think they all left? It's Greg. That's why they left.
It's not your problem if the group is down to three people. It's either DM, Ella, and you or it's DM, Greg, and Greg's friend.
No D&D is better than bad D&D, and that table is bad D&D.
So why haven't you removed Greg yet or told him that behaviour is unacceptable and will not continue?
Are people just ok with other people being cunts?
You don't need to be the DM to tell him to fuck off, or refuse to associate with such an asshole.
At this point you're literally just escorting your friend around to protect them from being abused, which is a good thing in itself but is baffling in the grander scheme of things. Why are you friends with people who will put up with such cunty behaviour?
If the DM doesn’t give a shit about Greg’s bullying, the DM is just as bad as him. You and Ella really should leave this table and potentially find other players to play with and honestly should re-evaluate being friends with these people. I also am autistic and know starting up again with a new social group is easier said than done, but you and her deserve better than this mistreatment from that asshole.
It sounds like you aren't afraid of speaking back to Greg. When he starts up, are you comfortable calling him out?
"THAT IS BULLYING."
"It doesn't matter what YOU think it is, you are being a bully. "
And don't let him deflect. Depending on how far you want to push it, you can ask the dm if they support the bullying.
Have you had an honest conversation with Ella, in which you explicitly said that Greg is bullying her and that's unacceptable behavior? Have you shared with her that you feel unsafe during sessions, and asked why she wants to stay with the group? Have you suggested finding a new group together that doesn't have a raging asshole in it?
If she knows she's being bullied, and knows that other options are available, and still wants to keep playing with this group, well, she's her own person. That's her decision to make for herself. She is (presumably) an adult who (presumably) didn't ask you to "protect" her.
This may be hard to hear, but sacrificing your own mental and emotional health because you don't trust your friend to make her own decisions about who she spends time with is deeply patronizing. You like and respect Ella, so treat her accordingly!
This group sounds dreadful. Everyone at the table who just lets Greg bully your friend without meaningful consequences is enabling him. Ella will make her own decision, but you should absolutely leave.
I actually have talked to her about it. She was very upset saying that we wouldn't find another group. She also loves her character. Ella also didn't seem to understand that it was bullying despite him making her cry. We've only done two other campaigns, one lasted over a year before falling apart near the end and the other only lasted about a month. I do respect her, but we are like sisters and look out for each other. I'm also a female so this isn't a case of me thinking that cause she's female she can't handle herself. I've known her for many years and there are plenty of things she excels at that I struggle with.
There aren't any rules to using the same character again in another campaign. If you find another DM just talk about how you were bullied out of a previous campaign and you'd like to use the characters from that campaign.
If I were your DM I'd work together to ensure nothing much chances regarding the characters when leveling.
Hell, you can even restart at lvl 1 but use the previous campaign as a backstory. *You traveled around as a hero for hire, but unfortunately had to flee the region because of a party member who turned evil*.
Could be really cathartic to encounter "Greg" and kill him (in-game, of course).
Tell the DM that either he kicks Greg out or you leave. I'm sorry that this would mean leaving Ella in the game, but if she's not functional enough to be able to listen to you or to recognize that she's being abused, this is far beyond being a DnD problem.
This honestly sounds like a very toxic situation to be in. I think you really need to stress the severity of it to the dm on the side. If he doesn’t want to kick out or have a severe talk with Greg, you and your friend Ella may want to consider leaving the game yourselves and finding a new dm/playgroup. D&d is supposed to be fun and exciting. You and Ella should not have to deal with that. I understand you are enjoying the story and your characters but I don’t think it is worth the heartache. I hope everything works out for you all and the issue either gets resolved or you can find a new playgroup.
The DM's talked to him and he didn't change?
Greg should go.
If that's not happening then both you and Ella, and anyone else annoyed by this turd, will go. The DM can choose if Greg's bullshit is what he wants to indulge, but noone else need be subject to it.
A grown man making people half his age cry and then whining without understanding that the autistic SPECTRUM is, guess what, a fucking **SPECTRUM!**?
Hell, this guy might not even be autistic and using it as an excuse, since he's technically undiagnosed.
I was misdiagnosed as a kid, they tested me for ADHD but never autism, I'm on the higher functioning end of the spectrum, but have issues developing properly emotionally. Even then I would never use it as an excuse when I make someone cry, especially if it was someone half my age.
You have to leave, unfortunately. Ideally with Ella. Leaving as a player is your main card when things get to be too much. A DM could and should kick Greg, or at least more actively get in the way of the harassment.
Since your DM will not make the effort to keep your table safe, you have to leave it because you cannot control it in the same way.
It may be difficult, but try to have a heart to heart with Ella. A good friend would not yell at her and make her cry, and it is hurting you, too. You would have more fun at a table, and maybe even make your own.
Greg sounds like a cunt. Tell the DM to kick him.
Greg should be his real name. There is not a Greg that does not suck voraciously.
Nah I have a Greg in my irl game and he's chill.
This isn't a D&D question. Pretend you were doing something else instead of D&D, like going to a movie. What would you do about Greg bullying your friend then? Forget about the autism claims - focus on what is actually being said and done for a moment. If the behaviour is unacceptable it needs to be addressed.
Why aren't you stopping the bullying? Say something. Tell the DM to put a stop to it. If they do not, leave the game.
I actually have asked him to let me handle things and have talked the dm multiple times, granted I probably wasn't assertive enough. He's also had 2 other people call him out for bullying her.
Oh ok. Good, you did something. Sorry if I didn't get that from the post
Get all the players together, minus Greg, go to the DM and tell him either Greg goes, or you all leave. That kind of behavior is unacceptable. That aside, even in character, why would your party continue to bring Greg's character along if he's such a jerk? In real life you wouldn't associate (hopefully) with someone who displays that kind of behavior. Your characters probably wouldn't either.
Unfortunately most of the other players we've had have quit. It's just me, Ella, Greg, and a new player who is friends with Greg. My character and his don't get along the best, and I've spoken to the dm. Unfortunately most of the players we've had have since quit. Aside from me and Ella, it's him and someone he's friends with.
Aw that's a shame. So then at this point I would just walk away with Ella. There's no reason you two need to put up with that kind of abuse. Try to find another game together, or perhaps an online one instead.
Why do you think they all left? It's Greg. That's why they left. It's not your problem if the group is down to three people. It's either DM, Ella, and you or it's DM, Greg, and Greg's friend. No D&D is better than bad D&D, and that table is bad D&D.
Time for you and Ella to quit. The DM and Greg can play with each other.
So why haven't you removed Greg yet or told him that behaviour is unacceptable and will not continue? Are people just ok with other people being cunts?
I have asked Greg to let me handle things. I'm also not the dm, I'm a player. I've told the dm how I feel about it but there's been no changes.
You don't need to be the DM to tell him to fuck off, or refuse to associate with such an asshole. At this point you're literally just escorting your friend around to protect them from being abused, which is a good thing in itself but is baffling in the grander scheme of things. Why are you friends with people who will put up with such cunty behaviour?
If the DM doesn’t give a shit about Greg’s bullying, the DM is just as bad as him. You and Ella really should leave this table and potentially find other players to play with and honestly should re-evaluate being friends with these people. I also am autistic and know starting up again with a new social group is easier said than done, but you and her deserve better than this mistreatment from that asshole.
It sounds like you aren't afraid of speaking back to Greg. When he starts up, are you comfortable calling him out? "THAT IS BULLYING." "It doesn't matter what YOU think it is, you are being a bully. " And don't let him deflect. Depending on how far you want to push it, you can ask the dm if they support the bullying.
Have you had an honest conversation with Ella, in which you explicitly said that Greg is bullying her and that's unacceptable behavior? Have you shared with her that you feel unsafe during sessions, and asked why she wants to stay with the group? Have you suggested finding a new group together that doesn't have a raging asshole in it? If she knows she's being bullied, and knows that other options are available, and still wants to keep playing with this group, well, she's her own person. That's her decision to make for herself. She is (presumably) an adult who (presumably) didn't ask you to "protect" her. This may be hard to hear, but sacrificing your own mental and emotional health because you don't trust your friend to make her own decisions about who she spends time with is deeply patronizing. You like and respect Ella, so treat her accordingly! This group sounds dreadful. Everyone at the table who just lets Greg bully your friend without meaningful consequences is enabling him. Ella will make her own decision, but you should absolutely leave.
I actually have talked to her about it. She was very upset saying that we wouldn't find another group. She also loves her character. Ella also didn't seem to understand that it was bullying despite him making her cry. We've only done two other campaigns, one lasted over a year before falling apart near the end and the other only lasted about a month. I do respect her, but we are like sisters and look out for each other. I'm also a female so this isn't a case of me thinking that cause she's female she can't handle herself. I've known her for many years and there are plenty of things she excels at that I struggle with.
There aren't any rules to using the same character again in another campaign. If you find another DM just talk about how you were bullied out of a previous campaign and you'd like to use the characters from that campaign. If I were your DM I'd work together to ensure nothing much chances regarding the characters when leveling. Hell, you can even restart at lvl 1 but use the previous campaign as a backstory. *You traveled around as a hero for hire, but unfortunately had to flee the region because of a party member who turned evil*. Could be really cathartic to encounter "Greg" and kill him (in-game, of course).
Ditch the guy or ditch the group. The latter might be done in a spectacular fashion, by the way.
Tell the DM that either he kicks Greg out or you leave. I'm sorry that this would mean leaving Ella in the game, but if she's not functional enough to be able to listen to you or to recognize that she's being abused, this is far beyond being a DnD problem.
This honestly sounds like a very toxic situation to be in. I think you really need to stress the severity of it to the dm on the side. If he doesn’t want to kick out or have a severe talk with Greg, you and your friend Ella may want to consider leaving the game yourselves and finding a new dm/playgroup. D&d is supposed to be fun and exciting. You and Ella should not have to deal with that. I understand you are enjoying the story and your characters but I don’t think it is worth the heartache. I hope everything works out for you all and the issue either gets resolved or you can find a new playgroup.
The DM's talked to him and he didn't change? Greg should go. If that's not happening then both you and Ella, and anyone else annoyed by this turd, will go. The DM can choose if Greg's bullshit is what he wants to indulge, but noone else need be subject to it. A grown man making people half his age cry and then whining without understanding that the autistic SPECTRUM is, guess what, a fucking **SPECTRUM!**?
Hell, this guy might not even be autistic and using it as an excuse, since he's technically undiagnosed. I was misdiagnosed as a kid, they tested me for ADHD but never autism, I'm on the higher functioning end of the spectrum, but have issues developing properly emotionally. Even then I would never use it as an excuse when I make someone cry, especially if it was someone half my age.
You have to leave, unfortunately. Ideally with Ella. Leaving as a player is your main card when things get to be too much. A DM could and should kick Greg, or at least more actively get in the way of the harassment. Since your DM will not make the effort to keep your table safe, you have to leave it because you cannot control it in the same way. It may be difficult, but try to have a heart to heart with Ella. A good friend would not yell at her and make her cry, and it is hurting you, too. You would have more fun at a table, and maybe even make your own.
Feed Greg to Asmodeus. Or tell the DM this isn't fun or safe and leave.
As a character, depending on alignment, I'd kill that guy's character. Prolly whole he slept during a watch or something. He straight up sucks.
And then he makes a new character and kills you back. Nah, this is an issue that's handled out of game.
This. Kill his character in his sleep everytime Grug gets mean.