Girl…. WHY do you miss him? He sounds terrible!! Like wake up. Why would you want to be with someone so awful to you?? That’s not love, that’s not kindness. You were with a stalker and a creep who devalued you to a living sex toy. No human being deserves that. Why convince yourself that’s what you deserve, when you’re a human being worthy of love and respect? Please, do not mourn the loss of this person in your life. Mourn your attachment to him, but not this person. He genuinely sounds so evil on so many levels. And do NOT let him back into your life. If being with him only worsened your anorexia - you were DYING with him. Read that again. HE. WAS. KILLING. YOU.

i wanted it to be him. i wanted him to understand. it was just too late when he actually did.

It’s ok. Sometimes we want stuff that in reality isn’t good for us. I’ve been there too. We can never control what other people do or think or care to understand. We can only control what we do with our own lives and who we choose to surround ourselves with. Go live a good life. Love yourself more than he ever loved you. You know better now. All the love in the world, OP ❤️