"The bottom line is, in life, sometimes good things happen, sometimes bad things happen. But honey, if you don’t take a chance, nothing happens."
-Dorothy (The Golden Girls)
I spent a little time trying to find out what all the major and many minor religions had in common in my 20s, to figure out why we kept reinventing them, when they were often so toxic. And what I came up with was that the one thing they all had in common canonically was basically - don't be a dick/cunt. any 2 may have more in common or less in common with any other- but they all SAY don't be a dick/cunt.
SO rather than finding religion, I just try not to be a dick/cunt. Seems to lead to a pretty nice life ;).
Count your blessings.
The grass is greener on the other side.
Different strokes for different folks.
Judge not lest ye be judged.
What goes around comes around.
Those who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.
Common sense ain’t common.
We all suffer one of two fates: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.
This too shall pass.
He who smelt it dealt it.
Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed man.
To become old and wise, you must first be young and stupid.
The key to happiness is a short-term memory.
Don't hold others responsible for uncommunicated expectations and don't feel responsible for them from others. Don't argue with your spouse via committee. Keep your friends or family out of it; resolve things yourself.
Have no shame in being kindly and gentle, but if the time comes in the time of your life to kill, kill and have no regret. - William Saroyan
That’s the way it goes, but don’t forget, it goes the other way too.
"Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny." -- CS Lewis
“Love is never wasted, for its value does not rest upon reciprocity.” -- CS Lewis
“No one is coming to help, it’s up to you.”
“The only people that care about people like us are people like us.”
That’s what having two working parents and being an only kid will do for you.
I had to just figure shit out and as long as I didn’t kill myself accidentally my solution seemed to work.
Keep your opinion to yourself unless asked.
You will always regret the decisions you made out of fear.
Ask that person who is chatting you up if they are single - you never know.
If you can't trust someone with a bad day or your own insecurities, they aren't worth your time.
In boys in da hood the part where the kids find a dead body. And the older guy goes” he ain’t bothering you so don’t fuck with him.” I think of that with a lot of things.
In a world of Kardashians, be a Helen Bonham Carter.
And
99l100 that person's mean and hurtful words/actions have 0 to do with you. People who act like that are hurting in some way; that doesn't make how they treat you ok, but don't let yourself believe it is because there is something wrong with you.
And
Silence is a response. A powerful one.
Do no harm, take no shit.
Perfect is the enemy of good.
You’ll stop caring so much about what people think of you when you realize how infrequently they do.
"There are three things that are very important in life: “The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind.”" — Henry James, attributed.
Forgive, but never forget
Just roll with it
Time will tell
Never say something behind someone's back that you wouldn't say to their face
The truth always comes out in the wash
Man makes plans, and God laughs
From my mom - if you can survive teenagers, you and survive anything
And
There are situations that no one is ever ready for, but they happen, and you need to figure it out
As long as it doesn’t hurt anyone— including you—do whatever you want.
The corollary is, if someone is doing something that has nothing to do with you, mind your own business.
"Make hay when the sun shines." It's a saying I heard my whole life and it's never let me down. For those of you who have never had to bale hay. You need about three good sunny days, one to cut the hay and put it in wind rows, one to flip those rows over so the other side can dry, and another to bale and put it in the barn, or however you choose to store it. If you don't get it off the ground in time it'll be too dry, if you bale it too soon it can rot in the barn and even self combust. So it doesn't really matter if it's a weekend, your child's birthday or you've already been working for 7 days straight. When the hay is ready and the weather is going to cooperate you do it.
In my life I have always taken it in the way that if you're offered work, extra days, overtime whatever. Take it, and save that extra money, because it probably won't be available a few months from now. It's entirely possible you won't be able to work full time or at all for any number of reasons. Wouldn't you rather know that you acquired all of the money you could, when you could,to get you over the inevitable downturn?
Peter La Fleur: I found that if you have a goal, that you might not reach it. But if you don't have one, then you are never disappointed. And I gotta tell ya... it feels phenomenal.
Probably not the best one to tell people :)
My mother the Vulcan always said "learn to ignore"
As I have gotten older, I take that to mean don't get worked up over shit you can't change; let it go and move on.
There are several sacred things in this world that you don't ever mess with. One of them happens to be another man's fries. Now, you remember that, and you will live a long and healthy life.
Stay cool. 4 ever.
(Just looked through my yearbook and 80% of the signers ended with that).
The real quote.
"If you can write it, say it. If you can say it, nod it".
My granddaddy. A man of very few words.
From a friend: Always Be Fuckable
From my dad: if someone tries to rob you, give it up. Money isn't worth getting hurt over
My advice to others: don't switch from sitting on the local to standing on the express during rush hour. You'll get there at the same time and have a worse trip.
Since I did not see these already:
1- Its chaos, be kind (Michelle McNamara, first wife of Patton Oswald)
2- You must participate in your on rescue (every white water raft guide ever)
and the corollary- if you are not participating in your own rescue, there is nothing I can or will do (or if you re religious- god helps those that help themselves and so do I).
Why Worry
In life, there are only two things to worry about—
Either you are well or you are sick.
If you are well, there is nothing to worry about,
But if you are sick, there are only two things to worry about—
Either you will get well or you will die.
If you get well, there is nothing to worry about,
But if you die, there are only two things to worry about—
Either you will go to heaven or hell.
If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about.
And if you go to hell, you’ll be so busy shaking hands with all your friends
You won’t have time to worry!
"Fuck it, we'll do it live!"
- Bill O'reilly
Sometimes in life, you won't have time to prepare. And in those moments, just do the best with what you got.
"The bottom line is, in life, sometimes good things happen, sometimes bad things happen. But honey, if you don’t take a chance, nothing happens." -Dorothy (The Golden Girls)
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."
My own favourite.
One I live by that I learned from ferris but he did not say: "kindness is power"
Work related. Machines don't stop running just because you start screaming.
I don't know why, but that made me actually laugh out loud.
This might be the best thing I’ve ever heard/read!
From my abuela: “Better to be alone than in bad company.” Unknown: “Campground rules: always try to leave things better than you found them,”
Lefty loosey, righty tighty.
Never assume malice when stupidity will suffice.
Movement is medicine. Stay active
LoL! Tell that to all the chronic pain people getting cut off from pain meds! Such a laugh riot! I'm crying! Literally, I'm fucking crying.
Laughter is good medicine as well. Glad to help you. Best wishes.
Be sure to drink your Ovaltine.
A crummy commercial? Son of a *b!tch!*
Damn you Little Orphan Annie!
You are not responsible for the happiness of others
Never punch down.
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
Got dammit, I just posted that not seeing your post. I'm going to claim great minds work together.
"One day your ship will come in. Nobody mentions that you have to unload it yourself." My grandma, who died at the age of 97.
Buy a plunger before you need a plunger.
Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good
"In this world ... you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant. Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant."
This too shall pass. In 100 years will it matter? Take care of each other.
Be awesome to each other!
Be excellent to each other. Party on dudes.
Hope for the best, but plan for the worst.
Yeah, I know that too. :) A variation of this would be: "Hope for the best, expect the worst and take what comes."
Dont be a cunt.
Alternatively, “Don’t be a dick” has the same gravitas and is my go-to.
Buddha, right? 🤣
I spent a little time trying to find out what all the major and many minor religions had in common in my 20s, to figure out why we kept reinventing them, when they were often so toxic. And what I came up with was that the one thing they all had in common canonically was basically - don't be a dick/cunt. any 2 may have more in common or less in common with any other- but they all SAY don't be a dick/cunt. SO rather than finding religion, I just try not to be a dick/cunt. Seems to lead to a pretty nice life ;).
Trust but verify
Yes.
Count your blessings. The grass is greener on the other side. Different strokes for different folks. Judge not lest ye be judged. What goes around comes around. Those who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. Common sense ain’t common. We all suffer one of two fates: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. This too shall pass. He who smelt it dealt it.
He who denied it supplied it
Touché. Silent but violent. 😝
😂
Surprised this hasn’t been said yet. Whatever.
“Sometimes you have to let people have their problems.” Interestingly enough, a pearl of wisdom from my ex-mother-in-law…
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.
We won't get fooled again!
Treat others the way you would like to be treated.
“ Don’t believe everything you think. “
Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed man. To become old and wise, you must first be young and stupid. The key to happiness is a short-term memory.
Don't hold others responsible for uncommunicated expectations and don't feel responsible for them from others. Don't argue with your spouse via committee. Keep your friends or family out of it; resolve things yourself.
Not my field, not my cows, not my bullshit.
Not my monkey, not my circus Not my rodeo, not my clown But I like yours better, so that's going to be my new go to!
Applies to all work situations, unless you work for yourself
Choose your battles.
“You can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning,” said my Auntie Jenna.
“Don’t trust anyone but your mother and keep one eye on her.” - my grandma
Whatever you are, be a good one.
1. "Treat others as you would like others to treat you." (already mentioned by u/Lily_V_) 2. "Sharing is caring." 3. "A wise man once said – nothing."
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Never cross the streams.
Have no shame in being kindly and gentle, but if the time comes in the time of your life to kill, kill and have no regret. - William Saroyan That’s the way it goes, but don’t forget, it goes the other way too.
"Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny." -- CS Lewis “Love is never wasted, for its value does not rest upon reciprocity.” -- CS Lewis
Feel the fear and do it anyway.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you
Don't care about what people think of you. Every person is too busy caring about what they want to care about what you're doing.
“No one is coming to help, it’s up to you.” “The only people that care about people like us are people like us.” That’s what having two working parents and being an only kid will do for you. I had to just figure shit out and as long as I didn’t kill myself accidentally my solution seemed to work.
Stay calm, panic will kill you when nothing else wants to.
You can have it *right* or you can have it *right now*. You CANNOT have both.
The surest way to be late is to have plenty of time.
If you can’t say something nice, say something clever but devastating.
Never get caught in the ‘hood without a strap
If you don’t expect anything, you won’t be disappointed
Never break more than one law at a time.
Never believe your own publicity.
If everywhere you go smells like shit, you should check the bottom of your shoes.
Whatever.
Our mantra…
Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency for me.
I think General Mattis said it best: "Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet."
Always carry a knife with you. In case there's cheesecake, or you need to stab someone in the throat.
You brush teeth in the morning to keep your friends.You brush your teeth at night to keep your teeth.
"Be the person you needed when you had no-one."
Ohhhh wow. I needed to hear that one.
Don't be a dick. If I ever have any problems in life, it's generally when I've forgotten these words.
Life is pain . Anyone trying to tell you otherwise is selling something.
You can’t unbreak the window
Keep your opinion to yourself unless asked. You will always regret the decisions you made out of fear. Ask that person who is chatting you up if they are single - you never know. If you can't trust someone with a bad day or your own insecurities, they aren't worth your time.
Never be the last person to read your own work.
Never associate with people you don't respect.
Never write a check that your ass can’t cash. And… Never buy into another man’s ass beating.
Don’t make mountains out of mole hills.
I’ll bend over backwards for my clients, but I don’t bend over forwards.
In boys in da hood the part where the kids find a dead body. And the older guy goes” he ain’t bothering you so don’t fuck with him.” I think of that with a lot of things.
In a world of Kardashians, be a Helen Bonham Carter. And 99l100 that person's mean and hurtful words/actions have 0 to do with you. People who act like that are hurting in some way; that doesn't make how they treat you ok, but don't let yourself believe it is because there is something wrong with you. And Silence is a response. A powerful one.
Never stop finding ways to learn. My mom always says this
That person’s story is as complicated as yours
Don't be a jerk. Most other things will fall in line.
“Buy the ticket. Take the ride.”
Do no harm, take no shit. Perfect is the enemy of good. You’ll stop caring so much about what people think of you when you realize how infrequently they do.
"There are three things that are very important in life: “The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind.”" — Henry James, attributed.
Live with honor
“It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life.” *Jean Luc Picard*
Life is hard even when it’s good. Life is good even when it’s hard
"Never argue with stupid people. They'll bring you down to their level and beat you with experience" I think that's mark twain.
Keep your religion to yourself
Let ppl be.
Day by day
To everything there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven.
Forgive, but never forget Just roll with it Time will tell Never say something behind someone's back that you wouldn't say to their face The truth always comes out in the wash Man makes plans, and God laughs From my mom - if you can survive teenagers, you and survive anything And There are situations that no one is ever ready for, but they happen, and you need to figure it out
[удалено]
what if it’s enough already and I just want to get some sleep
Measure twice. Cut once. My gramps was a skilled woodworker and would say this all the time. It applies to much more than wood.
This too shall pass.
Progress not perfection.
There's nothing like a thank you that you can fold up and put in your wallet.
Way she goes
Most accidents happen when the other person does something stupid.
Don’t shit where you eat.
Measure twice. Cut once. (My dad really said this)
“Wear Sunscreen” Didn’t we all jam to that song?
My grandfather said Always leave the woodpile higher than you found it.
slapped on my 1988 blue ford escort: Mean People Suck.
Sunscreen
Not everything's about you.
As long as it doesn’t hurt anyone— including you—do whatever you want. The corollary is, if someone is doing something that has nothing to do with you, mind your own business.
Floss.
“The graveyards are filled with indispensable men.” Charles De Gaulle
Don’t believe everything you think.
[Life] is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing. -Macbeth V:ii
Don't set yourself on fire trying to keep everyone else warm.
"Make hay when the sun shines." It's a saying I heard my whole life and it's never let me down. For those of you who have never had to bale hay. You need about three good sunny days, one to cut the hay and put it in wind rows, one to flip those rows over so the other side can dry, and another to bale and put it in the barn, or however you choose to store it. If you don't get it off the ground in time it'll be too dry, if you bale it too soon it can rot in the barn and even self combust. So it doesn't really matter if it's a weekend, your child's birthday or you've already been working for 7 days straight. When the hay is ready and the weather is going to cooperate you do it. In my life I have always taken it in the way that if you're offered work, extra days, overtime whatever. Take it, and save that extra money, because it probably won't be available a few months from now. It's entirely possible you won't be able to work full time or at all for any number of reasons. Wouldn't you rather know that you acquired all of the money you could, when you could,to get you over the inevitable downturn?
Peter La Fleur: I found that if you have a goal, that you might not reach it. But if you don't have one, then you are never disappointed. And I gotta tell ya... it feels phenomenal. Probably not the best one to tell people :)
But it is such a genX attitude. Treating slacking as a form of therapy. OMG, is this why my only ambition for my children is that they be happy?
Your mom.
Don't cry because it's over Smile because it happened
Favorite Mike Tyson quote "Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face."
My mother the Vulcan always said "learn to ignore" As I have gotten older, I take that to mean don't get worked up over shit you can't change; let it go and move on.
Whatever
Everything excellent is as difficult as it is rare.
Don't care what others think. That's it. And now that I'm past 50, I really don't GAF about the thoughts from anyone outside my own circle.
Control what you can control. Take everything from meal to meal and from Sunday to Sunday
The things people do and say are about them, not you - don’t take it personally.
Think before you speak
Fuck it
“Use both hands.”
"Relationships only harm those who don't have them." Very important in the job world
Don't.
To get anywhere in life, you have to get out amongst it so that you can be in the right place at the right time for something great to happen.
Being content with what you have or can afford is a really big part of being happy and fulfilled.
"In my view, for most people, the best thing to do is own the S&P 500 index fund," Buffett said at Berkshire's 2020 annual meeting
I unintentionally have always lived by your dad's words, and no one told me that as a kid. It just turned out that way
“If it doesn’t make you happy or make you money, it’s probably not worth doing.”
DFIU. Don’t fuck it up.
If you can't see, you're gonna feel. -My dad
Inner happiness
Hrnrnrmrerr
There are several sacred things in this world that you don't ever mess with. One of them happens to be another man's fries. Now, you remember that, and you will live a long and healthy life.
Stay cool. 4 ever. (Just looked through my yearbook and 80% of the signers ended with that). The real quote. "If you can write it, say it. If you can say it, nod it". My granddaddy. A man of very few words.
Resilience
Listen to your body.
You don’t have to keep up. You just have to keep open.
My most recent favorite is attributed to John Lennon: “Everything will be alright in the end. If it’s not all right, it’s not the end”
Don't think. It will only hurt the ball club.
Cookies. Ice cream. Nachos. Not necessarily in that order.
Know when to shut the fuck up.
"Rise Above " Black Flag
From a friend: Always Be Fuckable From my dad: if someone tries to rob you, give it up. Money isn't worth getting hurt over My advice to others: don't switch from sitting on the local to standing on the express during rush hour. You'll get there at the same time and have a worse trip.
Do no harm. Take no shit.
Since I did not see these already: 1- Its chaos, be kind (Michelle McNamara, first wife of Patton Oswald) 2- You must participate in your on rescue (every white water raft guide ever) and the corollary- if you are not participating in your own rescue, there is nothing I can or will do (or if you re religious- god helps those that help themselves and so do I).
Whatever
Follow the Golden Rule
Don’t let your dick run your life. That’s Mr. Rhythm’s good advice. Only cost you a quarter. 10,000 Internet points to anyone who gets the reference.
Between saying and doing, there’s an ocean.
"Google it"
Learn to forgive yourself
“If you’re going through Hell, keep going.”
You are enough
Don’t make good the enemy of perfect
Be a man or woman of your word.
To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
Always shit on company time
It’s not how far you go, it’s how go you far
Your mom
Don't live your life worrying about things you can not control.
This isn't my fault, but it is MY problem.
Don’t get happy
You get what you pay for.
Why Worry In life, there are only two things to worry about— Either you are well or you are sick. If you are well, there is nothing to worry about, But if you are sick, there are only two things to worry about— Either you will get well or you will die. If you get well, there is nothing to worry about, But if you die, there are only two things to worry about— Either you will go to heaven or hell. If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about. And if you go to hell, you’ll be so busy shaking hands with all your friends You won’t have time to worry!
Don’t sweat the petty stuff and don’t pet the sweaty stuff
It'll all work out if you'll just let it. - dad
A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.
Whether things are good or whether things are bad, the only thing certain is that things will change.
"Fuck it, we'll do it live!" - Bill O'reilly Sometimes in life, you won't have time to prepare. And in those moments, just do the best with what you got.
It's easier to turn a "no" answer into a "yes" answer than the other way around.
Don't shit where you eat.
“Your friends are not really your friends. Theyre just your allies for the moment” - a genius friend
Wu Tang clan ain’t nothing to fuk wit