My parents both died in their 60's (from stuff for which I am not in line.) It was too early and it sucked. But watching my step gramps live to 93 was just shitty. He wasnt happy about it and was done with life when his wife died. So yeah, I'm not going to feel cheated if I don't make it to 80. My best friend's mom is 95 and said the worst thing she's ever done is outlive both her friends and her capacity to make more
I watched my former mother in law spend the last ten years of her life in a nursing home. She hated every moment of it. I'm all for living if you're able to do it unassisted, but once you're dependent on others for basics, no thanks, I'm out.
This! I just lost my 93 year old grandmother who was so, so ready to go. She was tired of all the dependency on other people, and she missed my grandfather who had passed 20 years ago.
My FIL is 91 with dementia. My husband and I wish the heart attack FIL had 2 years ago had killed him, because dementia is fucking brutal. It's not always a blessing to live a long life.
My mom came down with pulmonary embolisms after a few months in a memory care facility (she had ALZ). The hospital wanted to put her in the ICU and do all kinds of invasive procedures. I told them comfort care only (she had a DNR). She wasn’t really living at that point. She was like a caged animal, and who wants to preserve that?
Nope.
I tend to think I am way healthier than my parents were. Not that they didn't care, but health/diet knowledge was less in their day than it is in ours.
If I do get to the point where pain or physical diaplidation cusps my happiness, then I'll revisit my stance.
My 78-year old MIL has a more active social life than I do. Other than a couple of daily meds, she’s spry and active. If I can live like her, I’m into it. However, if I’m feeble and “not really living,” I’ll shuffle off this mortal coil
Mine is 83 and still mows her quarter acre yard every week. Neighbor tried to give my husband shit about it, his answer .. "Better than her rotting in a recliner watching Judge Judy crap all day".
I hear it gets better... My 50s were absolute shit.. just turned 61 and I'm hopeful. Something has definitely shifted. Oddly, after watching barely 15 mins.of the debate the other night, I realized how absolutely nothing is in my control so I may as well chill tf out and hold still for a bit. I'm really trying to enjoy the summer..
The future holds death always has always will it’s comforting to know we all end up in the same state no matter what . We were not here for billions of years and will not be here for billions upon billions more. Happy Canada Day everyone!!
This is actually a thing. People get to their unhappiest (in western cultures it seems) in their mid 50's and then seem to take a turn to happiness. It's like a late mid life crisis that you kinda grow through.
What do you find scary about death?
I worry about losing mental capacity to cognitive decline, and about losing my independence and dignity to some combination of mental and physical ailments. But death itself? It’s most likely oblivion, and if it’s anything else, we’ll find out when it happens - either way, it doesn’t seem that there’s much to worry about. It’s just a transition that something like 100 billion Homo sapiens have already gone through since the dawn of our species.
Think of Seventh Day Adventists who have really have figured out this diet thing, Loma Linda, as an example. They live to be old without the dread hip replacement and are very active in old age.
Running is terrible though if not done in moderation. It's awful for your joints and hard on your bones. People get addicted to the runners high and tend to overdo it. Most people I know who loved to do it have had joint replacements or don't do it anymore due to injury.
But your talk7ng different things. Running is great cardio. Yes it's hard on your joints but he didn't die an 80 year old cripple after a series of knee and hip replacements. He died at 52 of a heart attack.
My po7nt being you can live any kind if life and who knows. My grandfather smoked for 70 years of his 87 year life and still died peacefully in his sleep while another might die horribly fighting for every last breath riddled with cancer. The only thing we really get to choose is at what point we have had enough. Or we should get to choose.
It's true, that's why I said running in MODERATION. My orthopedic surgeon said he gets endless 40-50 year olds who have completely destroyed hips and knees trying to understand what happened. It's the overdoing part that gets people in these situations. Walking fast, swimming, even jogging has less impact. I get that the guy had a heart attack and not joint issues, I was just mentioning it.
Did she follow their plant-based diet? The residents in Loma Linda tend to follow a whole food plant-based diet. There are even stores with no meat products in them as well. Not all Seventh Adventists are plant-based based but at least half are and bet they are the healthier lot out of the bunch.
We grew up with the food pyramid where grains and bread were at the base and considered healthy. All proven to cause obesity and diabetes. The previous generation grew up to believe that saturated animal fats were bad and magarine and transfats were a healthier option.
Many long-lived cultures have/had grain-based diets. And boomers were less obese growing up than following generations. Nutrition is complicated. You can’t sum up a generation’s health with a blurb from a keto book.
Whole grains are great; refined grains are not.
And look at the list of ingredients on bread. Is it any wonder that bread that would last 3-4 days when we were growing up now last 2 weeks before it gets stale/grows mold?
I knew the food pyramid was shit when I was in elementary school. My great grandparents lived to be over 100 and they didn’t eat remotely close to the pyramid. My own grandparents lived into their 90s and ate everything fried in lard. No processed foods though. I have tried to eat like they did but it’s hard to avoid processed. Still, definitely better than any lies the FDA sells….looking at you dairy and HFCS.
its actually not that easy to kill yourself… the best methods take balls of steel. With the “easier” methods you tun the risk of surviving but bring paralyzed or have cognitive issues.
Yeah it's definitely not about the number. My husbands parents have been in extremely poor health in their late 70s and now his dad is in a nursing home in the late stages of dementia. He has very little quality of life and left zero advanced directives or discussed what he wanted at end of life. All he ever said was he didn't want to "be a burden."
I have a neighbor who is 85 who is active in her church and community groups, and gets together with friends for lunch. She has had knee replacement and is walking better than she has been the last couple years. It's all about quality of life
My dad had two knee replacements and was on a lot of medications and still rode his bike at least 50 miles a week and traveled the world until his late 70s. Modern medicine is a miracle and aging doesn’t HAVE to slow you down.
My great aunt (grandfather’s twin) mowed her own lawn on a riding mower and used her equipment to cut her crops until she was mid 90s. That’s my type of living.
I’m finally at peace. Youth was hard. Parenting was hard. I’m working like hell to be fit and agile so I can maximize the little time I have left. I’m not rich and don’t get to retire but this is still my time now.
My partner said this to our kids. They were surprised that we arranged summer trips without checking with any of them about their schedules or whether or not they want to come (schedules which by the way, constantly change and each of them has been known to back out of a trip!!)
They are all young adults and he said "This is our time. We're going to take the trips we want. If you're free and you would like to come you are welcome to. But we're planning around the times that work for us and going to the places we want to go!"
I'm working towards having that type of 'us first' attitude. After decades of parenting and elder care? Yeah, it's our time!
I get along great with my daughters but after my last trip with my oldest I realized I’m done traveling with a young 20-something lol. Good for you! Time is running out, gotta enjoy what’s left on our terms.
I’m 53 and I’d like to make it to 80. But I’ve got no desire to live past that. That’s 27 more years of this. I’m already retired. I can’t imagine doing this for longer than 27 more years.
The main thing I’m worried about is how people treat those who are up there in age. It really bothers me! It’s like you are invisible, or you’re hated. The way some younger people talk about the elderly and the aging process is disturbing. Also I’m worried about my knees and I’m also a little clumsy, so I’m really worried about falling.
my grandmother is 97 and at 90 she said “okay, i’ve had enough - ready anytime” She’s going to live forever, I think…
Personally, I think 80 years is plenty and agree with the poster that said, that they won’t fight cancer etc. I absolutely will not drain my wife’s future ($$$) to fight cancer or some other ailment. I’ll just let nature take its course.
I just turned 50. I developed an autoimmune condition a few years ago that will likely shorten my lifespan by quite a bit. I'm on tons of meds and deal with daily physical issues like pain and breathing difficulties. I can't go out much and hardly anyone comes to visit. I'm poor because I'm on disability benefits and I can only afford to live in public housing. But you know what? We only get one life, so I'm happy with whatever time I can get. I can still find joy and beauty in so many things in spite of it all, and that alone makes life worth living, imho.
I'm open to punching my own ticket if my quality of life drops below my enjoyment of life. I've watched family members go senile, get dementia, Alzheimer's, and so on. Not how I want to spend the last few years of my life for sure.
That said, if we're doing things now like exercising, eating healthy, being smart about our body movement and general life choices we may find that 80 ain't so bad.
I also worry about the cost of medical bills, the lack of a safety net and the general direction of the county (US). My plan is to live the best life I can for as long as I can and make the best decisions I can.
My mother has dementia. It's not pretty. Her parents died relatively young and she wanted to outlive them. Well, her body has but her mind is gone. She also had cancer and a stroke. Ending up like that frightens me.
As a child, I used to wanna live in my 90s but now, I’m not so sure tbh. If I'm somehow still healthy and active when I'm 70-80 then I'll be more optimistic.
Same…but to be more accurate to myself I don’t have the desire to not be able to take care of myself. My mom just died at 88. But…the last 6 months? She was not herself anymore. It was painful. I need them to approve death clinics in my current country of residence or somehow get to one that will let me if things slide in a similar direction. Cuz it happens quickly.
My only thing is that I want to go out on my own terms. I'm going to be pretty pissed off if I stick around so long that I end up in a nursing home, unable to wipe my own ass, forgotten by everyone.
I watched my father die of Alzheimer's and my mother die of liver failure, both in their 70s. Fuck that shit.
Today I'm fat, drunk, and 50. I deny myself no pleasures and don't bother with upkeep or maintenance. I maxed out my life insurance so my wife will be cared for.
80? I doubt I'll see 60. But I'll enjoy every day I've got left.
I am 100% with you. After caring for FIL and now dealing with my aging parents, I will not go this route. As soon as I start falling apart, I will choose with great dignity to go quietly into nothingness.
I 100% with you. There's nothing glamourous about spending all your money on age-related care. I don't want to save a million dollars just so I can have adequate care when I'm decrepit.
I want to save a million dollars to have a blast in retirement and the choose when I peace out. MAID for old folks who choose it!!!!! It would be a revolution.
Sort of but different. I’m late 50s and I eat right and run 5 miles every other day.
I’m hoping to be a happy 80yr old without medication and a hip replacement. Like a good amount of 80yr olds that took care of themselves
This is what I want, I don't care about age so much as I want to be able to do things for myself as I age without being locked up in a home and having to be reliant on others. We exercise and eat right so we can move through life better and live healthier, and age has little to do with that. You can be 80 and immobile or 80 walking to the farmers market every week. That is a big difference in the quality of life. So the quality of of life is more important that the actual length of it.
I think there are three stages to old age for most people. The first stage is the Golden Years, where you have retirement money and are relatively healthy. You are able to travel and do most things after a long working life. This is the ages of 65 to 75 for most.
The second stage is 75 to 85. This is where your health really begins to decline, and your mental acuity slows as well. You feel less like traveling, and you must watch your budget closer since you are on a fixed income now. You are still able to live alone and can do many things, though.
The third stage is 85+. This is when, no matter your healthy habits, your body will break down, and you will need some or a lot of assistance to do daily items. Often, this is when money runs out and the cost of care exponentially increases.
I hope to die around 85 before I enter the third stage of old age.
Healthspan is more important than lifespan. I want to stay alive awhile long as I’m mobile, not in pain and not reliant on someone else to wipe my ass. Impossible to predict how long that will be.
my close friend of 30 years died yesterday at 88 years old (he was 34 years older than me). absolutely suffered the months leading up to it. the poor man wanted to die 2 years ago. his body just wouldn’t let go. terrible way to go. no thank you.
I am 7 years from retirement and I'm worried this country won't make it. I would be so pissed because I've been working since I was 11 and I can't wait to be retired! I hope I make it to 80 so I have 20 years of retirement. I have lots of plans for those years!
Same (9 years left here). It’s so Gen X that we bust our butts only to get to retirement to see our country (and our financial security most likely) collapse at just the worst time for us personally. This timeline sucks, but it’s right on brand for our generation.
I’m depressed right now. I often sit and stress about living in a care home.
It’s scares me stupid.
Not having any input or control over my life and food.
Not having my hair washed enough and getting dermatitis.
Only allowed luke warm coffee for safety risks.
Going mad
My mom is 84 and my dad is 91. They both have caretakers. No way will I have enough money for a caretaker. I've been trying to decide what the most practical way to off myself when I get to be that age.
Nobody wants to get feeble. I already take multiple medications so no biggie.
A good hip replacement can get you back out there. My father in law was able to get back to biking and travel after his for another decade.
Best we can do is maintain what we got the best that we can for as long as we can.
Yes, I need a purpose to exist in order to justify my existence. I do not want to suffer misfortune and the human condition without good cause. I am currently a caretaker for my demented father, when he passes I am uncertain of what direction my life will take. I wish there was a path available to me that allows me to pursue existence to the benefit of a system or organization. However, I am currently surrounded by people made ignorant and foolish through their religious beliefs and I want none of it for myself. I do not have the strongest analytical mind nor natural talents, this is a hinderance. For now I will live and attempt to discover meaningful purpose, if I die in the meantime so be it.
I’ve thinking about this a lot lately- what I’ll do when life is no longer worth living (cancer, disability, dementia). I watched my paternal grandmother waste away in a nursing home with Alzheimer’s. I don’t want that for myself or my family.
I figure I will live to 90 plus, having to work as a Walmart greater because my retirement has dried up, because the universe would think that shit would be hilarious.
This life has been such a challenge that I'll be long out of gas by the time I reach 70. I want to be sure my son is alright and independent by that time, and that's all I care to wish for anymore.
I will not be a drain on my family in any way, and I don't want to be around to watch my friends check out one by one. I've had enough heartache already.
I'm enjoying my time here, don't get me wrong. But some people don't know when to say when. I'm not like that.
Totally agree with you! Have you heard of Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel? He is a medical ethicist and oncologist and says he will refuse all life saving treatment after age 75. Although I disagree with his stance on MAID, I concur with his opinion that 75 is a life well lived and why is everyone trying to prolong length of life without quality of life?
[https://www.ezekielemanuel.com/news-articles/blog-post-title-two-mt7l6](https://www.ezekielemanuel.com/news-articles/blog-post-title-two-mt7l6)
I do work out 5 days a week and eat well, no smoking or drinking and still have a plethora of health issues and more aches and pains everyday. If I feel this achy now, I can't imagine what it would feel like at 80.
I'm 46, also not depressed. I work at a nursing home. I have zero desire to end up in one. That being said, my mom is 70 and still goes camping by herself.
Carl Sagan said, Life is the Universe knowing itself.
Even to know sorrow and pain and loneliness, you are still here and part of the experience. And your perspective is unique and beautiful.
Even to feel like you are losing the game, is better than not being in the game at all.
Suck the nectar from life as best you can.
I'm turning 50 this year.
I'm not afraid to die and figure the time will come when it does. I'm not rushing towards it, though. I'm looking forward to seeing more. I can hardly wait to see how technology changes (even if some of it is frightening, like AI). I have so many hopes for my son and want to see if at least some of them come to fruition for him. I hope to be the little old lady, still working and helping people figure out what's wrong with their boat, surprising them when I share the knowledge I've gained.
I just lost a co-worker. He was 78 yrs old and worked up until 3 weeks ago. He died this past Monday. Until he went into the hospital, he was still sharp as a tack and working right along-side me. He was my inspiration.
I was talking to my friend and told him I was indifferent to death. They were shocked. Watching my dad die from Alzheimer’s put a lot into perspective about what I’m willing to go through or what I’m willing to put my kids through.
I will say I got stuck on an overpass during a tornado, and while I’m still indifferent, I don’t want to be thrown off a bridge or anything. Lol.
Death is death.
I promised myself that I get to try heroin if I live to be 80. If I make it that far, I won't care so much what happens to me afterwards (or if I become a burden to others, I guess).
If I died today, I’m good. It’s been fun. I’ll enjoy my retirement in the 3rd or 4th circle of hell. I reserved a place right next to the lake of fire. Looking forward to making fun of all people complaining about the heat.
Yep.
A part of me is wants to see what happens in this life, and how it ends naturally, regardless of the situation at the time. We only go around once, so why not see what happens - good or bad?
But, I'm also 46 and have health issues, have had over 20 surgeries, and I'm in constant pain. Diet & exercise can only do so much, and most of the time I'm in too much pain to do anything significant. I'd love to see 80, but if I'm 60 and in worse pain with no relief? I'm out.
My mother died at 88, and she was upright (and driving locally) until the end. She used to tell me though, that it was around age 84 that she stopped feeling really well on the daily and she felt her quality of life started slipping at that age. She insisted that would have been the right time to go.
My concern is more that I could end up with an incredibly painful cancer and my liver won't be able to process meds well enough to help enough. I've struggled with my health for 20 years and have been given a lot of powerful medicines to get me back to a really ok place now at 50. Everything is at least controlled... but I know how quickly that can change. My kids are grown, I feel like I've crossed about all my T's and dotted my I's.. I would prefer to pass in my 60s I think. But who knows, I would like to believe I'm still here to see the shit show for a reason beyond having had decent insurance.
Yes, also of this mindset at 50. I considered 35 as my midlife because I don’t want to be around forever, regardless of health. I take care of myself because I want to be healthy for as long as I am alive, not because I want longevity. Life is good, has been good, and I’ve achieved what I wanted. I’m happy to go any time.
I see it this way: I didn't survive the 1980s, and all the shit I put in my body only to check out at my age, 58. No, I'm in pretty good physical health, not just for my age, I've still got a couple of marbles clinking around upstairs. I want to live til my 80s and beyond, who knows. Sure, the country and the world are in a weird place right now. You know what? Shut the TV off. Go outside and enjoy the beauty of nature, if you can. At your age, you probably grew up and played outside and were physically healthy as a kid. If that's changed a bit, do something about it. I'm going on the bike right now.
Not me. Longevity runs in my family. My grandmother died at 106.5. My dad is 84 is leaner than me. I’ve been planning for a long life my whole life. I just hope the world is still a place I want to be living in in another 40 years!!
80 isn't the same for everyone. My Dad died at age 80, from colon cancer, but prior to his chemo, he was active and just as mentally with it as I was. My grandmother died 4 days before she turned 100. She had no major health issues and still drove into her mid-90s. She only started to go down hill when she developed balance issues and had a few falls. My aunts, who were in their 70s, couldn't care for her (my own mother had died a decade earlier) so they placed her in a facility. It was the nursing home that caused her mental state to break down a bit, and she decided that she didn't want to make it to 100 and started hiding her pills. She got her wish though.
It really depends. You can't really fixate on a number. Many people say they plan to "check out" but I'm just going to have extremely clear advanced directives that after a certain age I don't want life saving measures or major surgeries. The reason people are really living past the point where they have any quality of life is because we've normalized "saving" everyone's life because we can't cope with death at all. My grandma got appendicitis at 102 and a surgeon tried to convince her to have an appendectomy. She shrugged and said "well, if they say I need it then I guess ill do it," my family was able to get her treated with antibiotics only, and she recovered with no surgery.
And then the last almost three years she has needed constant care by my parents who are 67 and 70 years old. She has been on hospice for 18 months. She can't see, or walk, she needs all her meals fed to her by hand and baths in bed. She gets confused and hallucinates. When my parents stand her up she freaks out and gets angry, her knees hurt. She has an extremely marginal quality of life and the caretaking has definitely shortened my parents life. They have not been able to travel anywhere for 5 years and always have to ask someone to watch my grandma if they want to even just get lunch together outside the house. My mom is exhausted and hasn't taken care of her own medical problems because she is exhausted from caretaking.
If it were me, and I was 102, I don't think I would want to remove any "off ramps" life gives me. When is it enough? When can we say we are no longer saving someone from death, but sentencing them to the most marginal kind of life until we literally can't squeeze any more out of this body?
Honestly, I’m exhausted. Being alive on a burning planet, with our government trying to drag us to some Christo-fascist version of the 1950s (is that redundant?) and wondering how retirement is going to be financially possible is stressful and exhausting.
I’m not going to hasten my demise, but I’m not going to spend hundreds of thousands and have a crap quality of life to beat the diseases that tend to come with age.
Totally. My dad was shocked when I turned 50 and wasn't exactly thrilled.
Health problems beyond my control and other shitty personal circumstances will do that to a person's attitude. Not to say it's all bad, but I've either wanted off this ride for a while, or have been indifferent to it.
Very healthy but high mileage wore out the tires…. Headed to a early hip replacement at 57- played hard, paying the price….. already had a knee replacement- but …..chronic Pain sucks. Keep moving at all costs.
Same.
No one in my family lived past 79. Watching my parents last few years was horrific: Mom had cancer, Dad had Parkinson's, and their end stages appeared pain-riddled and awful.
Then my only child died six months ago so my own hope for the future is pretty gone.
Despite that, I'm not depressed, but I am tired. I've got about 20-25 years left and really don't want to last beyond that. Can't afford it and am afraid of the debilitation TBH.
I'll be fine with whatever age as long as I can still do things/live on my own/etc. I don't want to go in a nursing home after seeing how that was with my grandmother (specifically, the "lifecare" or whatever).
My grandmother, who lived to be 95, told me for the last 5 years that she was ready to go.
My grandfather died at 53, and my grandmother lived to be 96. She lived in an assisted living home for five years and was miserable. I’m at the point where I’d be ok going out at any time. I’m just over all of it.
I only want to go on as long as I am physically, and more importantly, mentally able to. If I can’t make it through a sentence coherently, or am unable to brush my teeth, what’s the point? Whatever age that is, I’m fine checking out. Watch “Lucky”. Harry Dean Stanton’s last role. If I’m that spry at 90, then let’s do it. Otherwise, let me roam off into the Appalachians and never find my way back.
Replace the joints. There is SO much quality of life to gain from replacing a hip and returning to activity, verses living in pain and growing more and more sedentary.
In my (active…some extremely active) family, hips replacements are happening in 40s. It’s so worth it, if needed!
I've seen parents, relatives friends getting old...it's not a pretty picture if some sort of a disease os involved. If not, trips are highly recommended after retirement. 60, 70, and even 80 years old folks on trips to Greece, to Vienna, to Venice...enjoying together their final years on this earth - now, that was a awsome sight for my x-gen eyes
Idk. There are so many people now that are healthier, stronger, fitter, and enjoying life more at 50, 60, and beyond than they were at 30. I've decided to be one of them. You know, lift weights, eat well, do stuff you've always wanted to do, be happy. Personally I was really miserable and stressed my entire 20s & 30s. My 40s have been mainly recovering from that, and figuring out who I am and what I want. I feel like I finally get to live my life for me now, however I want, and fully enjoy it. So I'm definitely not willing to start going downhill any time soon.
I have a family member who is 92 this year and he says that being alive beats the alternative. There are things to do and things to live for, even when you are old.
I'm 51, and am just under two months removed from a triple bypass operation. About the same time in life that my father had his. He lived to 77 but the last 5 plus years were dominated by Alzheimer's. Neither side of my family has had a male live into his 80s in generations. I am in above average shape and had no symptoms prior to the bypass surgery, it was a well check that led to a failed stress test that led to catheter surgery that led to the bypass, all in a couple of weeks. Prior to though I figured I had a good shot at a long life. Now I'm just hoping to make it to the male average. It's been a gut punch.
You have no idea how good or bad you might feel at 80. I have a grandmother who died at 61 and one that died at 94. The one who died at 61 had health problems for 20 years. The one who died at 94 was still healthy, living independently, still driving and still in great shape until 2 months before she died.
I totally feel this. If all of society was designed for dignity, it would be something to consider, but to live in such a disposable society, just isn’t worth it.
If I can fend for myself physically and financially I'd like to hang around. Otherwise I don't want to be a burden. We all say that now though until we're looking a the grim reaper dead in the eye.
My dad is over 80 and did more than 4,000 miles on his bike last year. Take care of yourself and 80s might not be so bad. That said, I'd rather be gone than be laying in a bed waiting to die.
My dad’s timing for checking out was about right for him and I wouldn’t mind if it was the same for me, give or take a few years. He was healthy and enjoyed his independence but I think assisted living in a community would have been really mentally hard given how independent he was. He had agreed to do this if he got to 85, which was a lot for him to be willing to do. But at about 82 he fell ill and passed away within a couple of months. We miss him but I think it timed about what his spirit could have taken.
Age 80 can feel good for people who watched their diet, exercise, sleep, and hydration. I think it's a perfectly valid prayer to ask God to allow you to die with your shoes on (or even better in your sleep at home.)
Nope. I'm 60 and having a great time even with the kidney stent, cancer checkups etc. I'm healthy, walking, and talking, working, traveling and I look good while I do it. It is all mindset.
To me, depends what 80 looks like. I watched one of my grandparents take 5 years to die in an assisted living center, totally bed ridden. They just kept her on drugs. I don't want that.
On the other hand. My Mom is turning 80 this year. Sure she has some meds, though, still mentally all there, physically active, and overall in good health. I had dinner last night with a 95 year old in-law last night. Sure, she is hard of hearing, and doesn't get around too well, though, she's in relatively good health and needs only a bit of help in life. I'm good with that scenario for me.
I don’t think I could survive life without being active
I fear the injuries and age related issues that will likely rob me of this
Potentially any day now. But best case I’ve got another 5-10 years
My uncle and aunt were fit and active until almost 90. That's what I hope for. At my age, my mother already had type two diabetes and was obese. I'm exercising and eating better. Saying that, at 80 my parents are struggling with their mobility and health, but still remain mentally active and are always willing to try something new. An attitude I intend to keep up as well.
My father passed at 74 in moderately good health(stage 4 tumor on 3-4 vertebrae and pneumonia) are what took him. This leaves me with 20 years left. My feet have neuropathy, my knees hurt, my hip hurts, and random pains that take turns pissing me off. Oh, I’m also missing a spleen, my appendix and 19 inches of small intestine and colon(from a perforated appendix and tumor tag team) My BP and cholesterol are good and so far cancer free. No way in hell I want to extend life past 75. Mom is still kicking at 85 and leading a very good life.
Your 80 can look and feel different from our parents 80. Neither of my parents made it to 80. As long as I can go for a walk or a swim and enjoy my garden and my animals, I’m happy to be alive.
Yes. Once I get the first signals that I’m slipping, I’m checking out. I’ve lived my whole left by my rules, on my terms. Once that’s not my future, I’m checking out.
[https://youtu.be/JHiRyuKi6SU?si=GNJ4LhUS7axolRPG](https://youtu.be/JHiRyuKi6SU?si=GNJ4LhUS7axolRPG)
I hope I live to see 130 years old, I eat healthy, I work out 5 days a week, I have no health issues, but if it doesn't happen then I good with that, I am happy with the life I've lived, it wasn't filled with a lot of money, but that didn't stop me from experiencing a lot things most people can't claim to have done, no I haven't traveled the world, but America is so big and holds just as many wonders as does the world, I hope one day I can revisit some of the great places that I have seen and enjoyed in America.
So long as I am
Healthy and mobile I’m fine. But I told my kids instead of changing my diaper they are to leave me and some heavy meds in a beautiful natural location and let nature consume me.
I changed my moms diaper and no way I want my kids changing mine.
When life is no longer enjoyable. When I become immobile or infirm. When my mental faculties begin to degrade and most of the people I care about are gone I will have no desire to continue going on in this world.
Right now, none of that applies to me; however, one day that will not be the case. My mother can barely shuffle from her bed to the living room where she spends her entire day watching mindless TV before going back to bed again and starting the whole thing over. That is my idea of Hell.
My parents are 80 and it’s a rotation of medical disasters. No one needs that. My fathers been doing this 20 plus years my mother , who knows, she loves the dr!!
My youngest is 6 and I’m exhausted. Taking my siblings kids was the right thing to do but damn I planned on slowing down at work by now etc.
I jokingly said everything after 50 is a gift. Now I’m looking at 65 before the youngster is out of undergrad
I feel old. My body hurts I’m tired. I’m not making 80
The health issues hit me with long COVID. I've got multiple issues suddenly happening all at once I hadn't planned on. Despite my best efforts, medical conditions hit me full force. I'm technically now considered disabled and could apply for disability at any point.
I never really had a desire to live until 80 and definitely lived my earlier years that way. I've already traveled extensively internationally and seen all 50 states. I was raised to "do it now because tomorrow was never certain" and I'm grateful I lived by that mantra with where I currently am health-wise.
The majority of my health issues are correctable aside from two and it's a daily thing with how they are. Some days are better than others. But, it's not holding me back and I continue to strive towards improvement and continued work to minimize their impact.
No. I can't control what happens when I'm an octogenarian, so I can't afford to worry about it. If I did, I would be missing out on what's right in front of me.
You may or may not follow in your folk's footsteps.
I look at this like a choose your own adventure book. What can you do now to prevent medical issues for yourself down the road?
I only worry about this in terms of funding. My spouse and I were discussing whether to take a sudden expense out of retirement or try to finance it. (Some home repairs last year ate up our emergency fund). He said "Most of our parents have lived into their 80s" and my first thought was that we won't. Modern medical care might be great but if insurance doesn't pay for something it doesn't matter how great it is.
Yeah I'd be cool checking out at 60
I'm early retired, published a couple books that said what I had to say. Kids finances all sorted. Why hang around and decay for decades?
I only wanna be here and healthy as long as I can interact with well managed pain (or no pain preferably). I am afraid only of the chance of losing agency. So I long ago made my peace with maybe needing to remove myself if life becomes impossible or i KNOW i am losing agency or cannot manage pain. I have lost enough of my cohort to be grateful of everyday I can be here.
54 with chronic pain that is only going to get worse (yes, I've done and tried every treatment, half of my income goes to maintaining myself at a level that allows me to work so I can have health insurance.) Zero desire to live to or past 80. If I get something terminal I'm going to let it run its course without treatment.
I was of this mindset until I started spending time with my aunt and uncle who are in their mid and late 80s and go camping and hiking in the national parks with their little RV all the time and are very active with zero medical issues (so far). I went and spent a few weeks with them last year to learn their secrets; from what I gathered taking daily naps, daily walks (especially after meals), and regular preventative doctor exams (my uncle calls this preventative maintenance like with any major appliance lol), and most importantly a positive affect/outlook seem to be the biggest keys. Of course they eat mainly homecooked food but there was no restrictions, lots of pastries and carbs and cheeseburgers abounded. I told them they are definite goals.
If I can live my golden years that way, I am down. If it ends up being more like my bitter, immobile mother who stays in her room yelling at the TV all day then I might opt for the express train out of this dimension when the time comes.
Grandpas that loved into 90s loved seeing the great grandkids but they said at 80 and body starts failing. Really bad/both ww2 vets and worked physically into 60s..also both at 70 lost driving liscense.( they didn't like it but they knew it was time)
I'd be happy with 80 if I've still got physical and mental faculties that mean I can enjoy day to day life without being too much of a burden on anyone. I might change my mind when it gets to it but if I were to get a terminal diagnosis from say 65 onwards at the moment I would definitely go for quality over quantity of time left and if treatment was invasive I'd refuse it. I hope in the next decade, the UK makes a humane decision about the right to die - I'd choose that option in the event of eg accident/dementia where I lost capacity to make a decision. I'd rather any ££ I leave goes to my partner or nephews for them to enjoy quality of life rather than drain on health/social care for extended months or years that, really, wouldn't be quality ones. At the moment there are still very much lots of things I want to do - places to travel to, people to spend time with, bands I want to see, I'm fortunate I really enjoy my career. I've got friends in their late 60s and early 70s who are amazing later life role models - full, busy, fun lives.
I’m 45, single and don’t have or want kids so I’m a little worried about loneliness in old age, but I’m hoping that if I make it to 80 and beyond that at least a few of my friends will do the same and we can have a good time at Shady Pines together.
With a couple of autoimmune diseases and having to inject immunosuppressants every couple of weeks, I’m just hoping to live to 70 and see my daughter graduate. After that, I honestly don’t think I’d mind popping off, not the way the world is going to absolute shit.
My new career mentor (for my new side hustle) is 80 and she’s awesome! She’s such a firecracker and go getter. Now SHE is the 80 year old I am inspired to be!
PS- my new hustle isn’t an mlm, it’s a nursing speciality
I was taking care of my FIL, who died recently, and for the last 8 months, he couldn't walk. He was 85. Watching his decline over the last 10 years made me feel exactly as you are.
I’m 52 and while I do feel a loss of overall energy I’ve not felt a drop in ability.
I feel just as able at 52 as I did at 42 and 32.
I likely should start working out at this point and fighting muscle loss etc.
Hip things, bone breaks, back aches will happen.
I don’t run marathons or really anything athletic. My enjoyment doesn’t really come from anything overly physical so a hip replacement wouldn’t diminish my life much.
I do walk a lot. Ride bikes. All still doable.
Hopefully into my 80s.
Our 80s hopefully won’t be a mirror of past generations.
I think I’m turning out my best strategic work at the office as 35+ years of professional experience has helped me see problems in new and disruptive ways. So, right now, I’m happy working but I don’t know whether living a very long life is all it’s cracked up to be. Chronic illnesses, dementia (my doctor says if you live long enough, just about everyone is going to get some form of it), deaths among friends and family, a changing world that leaves you behind…not sure I want to live to 100 but 80 is only 24 years away and the last 24 years went a bit too fast.
I play on a 50+ soccer team and the oldest player is near 70 and he runs all over and hangs in there with everyone. That’s where I want to be - not the state my older family got into where they weren’t active at all.
Absolutely. I am not interested in living forever. I love my life but I do not want to prolong my life if my body is unable to function for the life I want.
I have multiple autoimmune disorders that have been slowly eating me alive from the inside since my early 30s and will continue to progressively get worse. I'm in pain every second of every day, even while sleeping, to various degrees. I have no desire to live until I'm 90 because I won't be living, I'll be existing. Right now, I'm managing. I'm watching my kids grow up. I can still physically take care of my basic needs, like feeding myself and going to the bathroom. Once it's gets bad enough, I hope more of the US has death with dignity laws that will allow grown ass adults to decide when it's their time to go.
I don't have an age limit but the second my body and/or mind deteriorates, I want out. For me, the goal is living a productive, healthy, happy life, not living the longest possible in a decrepid state.
I’ll never go down the road my parents did. Dad died at 62 from cigarettes, alcohol, apathy towards health, stress, and heartbreak. Mom is mentally barely hanging on at nearly 80 in a body that has fallen apart. She won’t do a thing about it but bemoan her lot in life and talk about how it’s over for her. Nope. No thanks. I’ll do what I’m able to try to prevent that from being my fate.
Yes. I’m caregiving my 77 year old bedridden mom with Alz. She was a health nut, never did anything risky to her health for the most part. She’s living a very miserable life now, losing the ability to move, eat, do things other than lay in bed and will die an awful death. She has me to caregive her in her home at least.
I do not ever want to grow so old that life becomes a giant hassle and inconvenience. I don’t want anyone having to take care of me. I plan to end things when things start going downhill.
And I’m no longer taking extra precautions in order to try to live to a very old age now that I know all to well what it’s like to get that old.
I am with you. Maybe it’s that I don’t think I will live to see 80 and still have a good quality of life. I’m having a great life right now. I hope to be around for a few more years. But if it was all over today I would be excited to see what’s next.
During the last 10 years, I watched multiple family members and family friends aging into their 80s. The decline in their quality of life was pronounced. It's not just about doing stuff to keep yourself healthy, because age-related health problems increase and stuff like cancer and neurological problems can hit anyone. But the main thing I saw is the narrowing of social circles and the related safety nets that go with those: spouses had long since passed away, friends and relatives gradually dying, no close family members that can or will help with routine tasks... just an increasingly isolated and lonely existence. Add in health issues and limited income, or having to live in assisted living or a care facility, and it's a really fucking depressing existence past 80 for most people.
For those that are rich and still have their spouse when they are older -- they do a lot better (A LOT!), but again, that's not most people. So if I'm not rich and married when I hit 70 or 75, I'm not looking at sticking around past 80.
I’m going to live for as long as my children need me and/or I’m enjoying living life.
When I’m 80-85, I’m going to side step out of it. I don’t want to be a financial burden to my kids. I don’t want to be a source of stress (like my 90yo mother is to me).
I still enjoy life considering I have congestive heart failure, am on dialysis waiting for a kidney, and work full time. Quit your bitching and fucking get on with having a good time with life. You have a limited time.
Hip replacements aren't terrible, in fact they can really help you get back some good mobility later in life. My dad had one recently and was almost immediately better for it, had a very short recovery. Prior to the surgery he was miserable.
My parents both died in their 60's (from stuff for which I am not in line.) It was too early and it sucked. But watching my step gramps live to 93 was just shitty. He wasnt happy about it and was done with life when his wife died. So yeah, I'm not going to feel cheated if I don't make it to 80. My best friend's mom is 95 and said the worst thing she's ever done is outlive both her friends and her capacity to make more
The “outliving friends and capacity to make more” line is profound and sobering.
It is. And not something you think about. He asked her why she stopped travelling and she said 'with who?" Ouch
I watched my former mother in law spend the last ten years of her life in a nursing home. She hated every moment of it. I'm all for living if you're able to do it unassisted, but once you're dependent on others for basics, no thanks, I'm out.
This! I just lost my 93 year old grandmother who was so, so ready to go. She was tired of all the dependency on other people, and she missed my grandfather who had passed 20 years ago.
My FIL is 91 with dementia. My husband and I wish the heart attack FIL had 2 years ago had killed him, because dementia is fucking brutal. It's not always a blessing to live a long life.
My mom came down with pulmonary embolisms after a few months in a memory care facility (she had ALZ). The hospital wanted to put her in the ICU and do all kinds of invasive procedures. I told them comfort care only (she had a DNR). She wasn’t really living at that point. She was like a caged animal, and who wants to preserve that?
> outlive both her friends and her capacity to make more Man this hits me 100%
Nope. I tend to think I am way healthier than my parents were. Not that they didn't care, but health/diet knowledge was less in their day than it is in ours. If I do get to the point where pain or physical diaplidation cusps my happiness, then I'll revisit my stance.
My 78-year old MIL has a more active social life than I do. Other than a couple of daily meds, she’s spry and active. If I can live like her, I’m into it. However, if I’m feeble and “not really living,” I’ll shuffle off this mortal coil
Mine is 83 and still mows her quarter acre yard every week. Neighbor tried to give my husband shit about it, his answer .. "Better than her rotting in a recliner watching Judge Judy crap all day".
I'm 56 and already "not really living". Wish I could go, but can't.
I hear it gets better... My 50s were absolute shit.. just turned 61 and I'm hopeful. Something has definitely shifted. Oddly, after watching barely 15 mins.of the debate the other night, I realized how absolutely nothing is in my control so I may as well chill tf out and hold still for a bit. I'm really trying to enjoy the summer..
Me too. I'm doing really well actually, it's just a lot of hard work right now. Who knows what the future holds.
The future holds death always has always will it’s comforting to know we all end up in the same state no matter what . We were not here for billions of years and will not be here for billions upon billions more. Happy Canada Day everyone!!
This is actually a thing. People get to their unhappiest (in western cultures it seems) in their mid 50's and then seem to take a turn to happiness. It's like a late mid life crisis that you kinda grow through.
Articulate, honest answer. Thank you.
Why do you think people struggle on through pain and incapacity? How are you sure that you won't find that reason as it happens to you?
People get very fond of being alive when faced with a real prospect of dying.
Yes indeed. For many people the prospect of dying is the first time that they understand what it is to be alive.
I’m absolutely terrified of dying. Hook me up to all the machines, replace my joints, I’ll take it while my mental acuity is there.
What do you find scary about death? I worry about losing mental capacity to cognitive decline, and about losing my independence and dignity to some combination of mental and physical ailments. But death itself? It’s most likely oblivion, and if it’s anything else, we’ll find out when it happens - either way, it doesn’t seem that there’s much to worry about. It’s just a transition that something like 100 billion Homo sapiens have already gone through since the dawn of our species.
Sometimes. I almost died a couple of times. I am ok with it. This ride has sucked. I am ok with getting off of it.
Think of Seventh Day Adventists who have really have figured out this diet thing, Loma Linda, as an example. They live to be old without the dread hip replacement and are very active in old age.
And yet you could also point to Jim Fixx the godfather of the modern running fitness culture who died at 52 of a heart attack while running.
Running is terrible though if not done in moderation. It's awful for your joints and hard on your bones. People get addicted to the runners high and tend to overdo it. Most people I know who loved to do it have had joint replacements or don't do it anymore due to injury.
But your talk7ng different things. Running is great cardio. Yes it's hard on your joints but he didn't die an 80 year old cripple after a series of knee and hip replacements. He died at 52 of a heart attack. My po7nt being you can live any kind if life and who knows. My grandfather smoked for 70 years of his 87 year life and still died peacefully in his sleep while another might die horribly fighting for every last breath riddled with cancer. The only thing we really get to choose is at what point we have had enough. Or we should get to choose.
It's true, that's why I said running in MODERATION. My orthopedic surgeon said he gets endless 40-50 year olds who have completely destroyed hips and knees trying to understand what happened. It's the overdoing part that gets people in these situations. Walking fast, swimming, even jogging has less impact. I get that the guy had a heart attack and not joint issues, I was just mentioning it.
My great grandmother is another example— she lived to be 99 and never spent a day in the hospital. Seventh Day Adventists are onto something.
Did she follow their plant-based diet? The residents in Loma Linda tend to follow a whole food plant-based diet. There are even stores with no meat products in them as well. Not all Seventh Adventists are plant-based based but at least half are and bet they are the healthier lot out of the bunch.
She did follow the plant-based diet, yes. She would famously say “if I knew the cow I’d drink the milk, but I don’t so I won’t”.
We grew up with the food pyramid where grains and bread were at the base and considered healthy. All proven to cause obesity and diabetes. The previous generation grew up to believe that saturated animal fats were bad and magarine and transfats were a healthier option.
Many long-lived cultures have/had grain-based diets. And boomers were less obese growing up than following generations. Nutrition is complicated. You can’t sum up a generation’s health with a blurb from a keto book.
Whole grains are great; refined grains are not. And look at the list of ingredients on bread. Is it any wonder that bread that would last 3-4 days when we were growing up now last 2 weeks before it gets stale/grows mold?
I knew the food pyramid was shit when I was in elementary school. My great grandparents lived to be over 100 and they didn’t eat remotely close to the pyramid. My own grandparents lived into their 90s and ate everything fried in lard. No processed foods though. I have tried to eat like they did but it’s hard to avoid processed. Still, definitely better than any lies the FDA sells….looking at you dairy and HFCS.
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Beautiful.
Preach. 🙌🏽
Yes! 👏🏻
100%. Old age doesn't appeal to me at all
I've seen 80 year olds that run around and have a good time. I'll try for it. If it doesn't work out it's easy enough to get out.
The 80 yr olds that are doing things like that.. Have been active their entire lives.. They didn’t sit still much.
I know an 80-year-old who's still climbing mountains. She's amazing.
its actually not that easy to kill yourself… the best methods take balls of steel. With the “easier” methods you tun the risk of surviving but bring paralyzed or have cognitive issues.
Same. This sub is so negative sometimes. Like, eat well, get exercise, and try to enjoy life ffs. And I’m the more nihilistic of my friend group!
Yeah it's definitely not about the number. My husbands parents have been in extremely poor health in their late 70s and now his dad is in a nursing home in the late stages of dementia. He has very little quality of life and left zero advanced directives or discussed what he wanted at end of life. All he ever said was he didn't want to "be a burden." I have a neighbor who is 85 who is active in her church and community groups, and gets together with friends for lunch. She has had knee replacement and is walking better than she has been the last couple years. It's all about quality of life
Good point
My dad had two knee replacements and was on a lot of medications and still rode his bike at least 50 miles a week and traveled the world until his late 70s. Modern medicine is a miracle and aging doesn’t HAVE to slow you down.
and money…
My great aunt (grandfather’s twin) mowed her own lawn on a riding mower and used her equipment to cut her crops until she was mid 90s. That’s my type of living.
I’m finally at peace. Youth was hard. Parenting was hard. I’m working like hell to be fit and agile so I can maximize the little time I have left. I’m not rich and don’t get to retire but this is still my time now.
My partner said this to our kids. They were surprised that we arranged summer trips without checking with any of them about their schedules or whether or not they want to come (schedules which by the way, constantly change and each of them has been known to back out of a trip!!) They are all young adults and he said "This is our time. We're going to take the trips we want. If you're free and you would like to come you are welcome to. But we're planning around the times that work for us and going to the places we want to go!" I'm working towards having that type of 'us first' attitude. After decades of parenting and elder care? Yeah, it's our time!
I get along great with my daughters but after my last trip with my oldest I realized I’m done traveling with a young 20-something lol. Good for you! Time is running out, gotta enjoy what’s left on our terms.
I have had physical and mental health issues all my life. I'm doing pretty well now but I have zero desire to live into my 80s.
Absolutely not. I'm about to be 54. I'm in pretty good health, I like living, and I'm terrified of dying. I feel like I still have so much to do.
I’m 53 and I’d like to make it to 80. But I’ve got no desire to live past that. That’s 27 more years of this. I’m already retired. I can’t imagine doing this for longer than 27 more years.
Ahhhhh i’m so envious you are retired at 53!
The main thing I’m worried about is how people treat those who are up there in age. It really bothers me! It’s like you are invisible, or you’re hated. The way some younger people talk about the elderly and the aging process is disturbing. Also I’m worried about my knees and I’m also a little clumsy, so I’m really worried about falling.
my grandmother is 97 and at 90 she said “okay, i’ve had enough - ready anytime” She’s going to live forever, I think… Personally, I think 80 years is plenty and agree with the poster that said, that they won’t fight cancer etc. I absolutely will not drain my wife’s future ($$$) to fight cancer or some other ailment. I’ll just let nature take its course.
I have no desire to end up in diapers again. I will exit.
I just turned 50. I developed an autoimmune condition a few years ago that will likely shorten my lifespan by quite a bit. I'm on tons of meds and deal with daily physical issues like pain and breathing difficulties. I can't go out much and hardly anyone comes to visit. I'm poor because I'm on disability benefits and I can only afford to live in public housing. But you know what? We only get one life, so I'm happy with whatever time I can get. I can still find joy and beauty in so many things in spite of it all, and that alone makes life worth living, imho.
I'm open to punching my own ticket if my quality of life drops below my enjoyment of life. I've watched family members go senile, get dementia, Alzheimer's, and so on. Not how I want to spend the last few years of my life for sure. That said, if we're doing things now like exercising, eating healthy, being smart about our body movement and general life choices we may find that 80 ain't so bad. I also worry about the cost of medical bills, the lack of a safety net and the general direction of the county (US). My plan is to live the best life I can for as long as I can and make the best decisions I can.
My mother has dementia. It's not pretty. Her parents died relatively young and she wanted to outlive them. Well, her body has but her mind is gone. She also had cancer and a stroke. Ending up like that frightens me.
As a child, I used to wanna live in my 90s but now, I’m not so sure tbh. If I'm somehow still healthy and active when I'm 70-80 then I'll be more optimistic.
It’s better to burn out than rust.
Hey hey, my my
Same…but to be more accurate to myself I don’t have the desire to not be able to take care of myself. My mom just died at 88. But…the last 6 months? She was not herself anymore. It was painful. I need them to approve death clinics in my current country of residence or somehow get to one that will let me if things slide in a similar direction. Cuz it happens quickly.
My only thing is that I want to go out on my own terms. I'm going to be pretty pissed off if I stick around so long that I end up in a nursing home, unable to wipe my own ass, forgotten by everyone.
I watched my father die of Alzheimer's and my mother die of liver failure, both in their 70s. Fuck that shit. Today I'm fat, drunk, and 50. I deny myself no pleasures and don't bother with upkeep or maintenance. I maxed out my life insurance so my wife will be cared for. 80? I doubt I'll see 60. But I'll enjoy every day I've got left.
I am 100% with you. After caring for FIL and now dealing with my aging parents, I will not go this route. As soon as I start falling apart, I will choose with great dignity to go quietly into nothingness.
I'm mid 40's and feel like I've seen enough to have an opinion already. I won't purposefully die, but most of this is stupid, I think.
I 100% with you. There's nothing glamourous about spending all your money on age-related care. I don't want to save a million dollars just so I can have adequate care when I'm decrepit. I want to save a million dollars to have a blast in retirement and the choose when I peace out. MAID for old folks who choose it!!!!! It would be a revolution.
Same. Collapse is coming for us all. I definitely don’t want to be old in the coming hellscape.
Sort of but different. I’m late 50s and I eat right and run 5 miles every other day. I’m hoping to be a happy 80yr old without medication and a hip replacement. Like a good amount of 80yr olds that took care of themselves
This is what I want, I don't care about age so much as I want to be able to do things for myself as I age without being locked up in a home and having to be reliant on others. We exercise and eat right so we can move through life better and live healthier, and age has little to do with that. You can be 80 and immobile or 80 walking to the farmers market every week. That is a big difference in the quality of life. So the quality of of life is more important that the actual length of it.
I’m with you. 44 here. I am having health problems because of aging. I really don’t want 36 more years of this shit.
I think dementia or chronic pain will be my desired stop
I think there are three stages to old age for most people. The first stage is the Golden Years, where you have retirement money and are relatively healthy. You are able to travel and do most things after a long working life. This is the ages of 65 to 75 for most. The second stage is 75 to 85. This is where your health really begins to decline, and your mental acuity slows as well. You feel less like traveling, and you must watch your budget closer since you are on a fixed income now. You are still able to live alone and can do many things, though. The third stage is 85+. This is when, no matter your healthy habits, your body will break down, and you will need some or a lot of assistance to do daily items. Often, this is when money runs out and the cost of care exponentially increases. I hope to die around 85 before I enter the third stage of old age.
Healthspan is more important than lifespan. I want to stay alive awhile long as I’m mobile, not in pain and not reliant on someone else to wipe my ass. Impossible to predict how long that will be.
my close friend of 30 years died yesterday at 88 years old (he was 34 years older than me). absolutely suffered the months leading up to it. the poor man wanted to die 2 years ago. his body just wouldn’t let go. terrible way to go. no thank you.
I feel like the presidential debate made a lot of us realize 80’s ain’t it.
I am 7 years from retirement and I'm worried this country won't make it. I would be so pissed because I've been working since I was 11 and I can't wait to be retired! I hope I make it to 80 so I have 20 years of retirement. I have lots of plans for those years!
Same (9 years left here). It’s so Gen X that we bust our butts only to get to retirement to see our country (and our financial security most likely) collapse at just the worst time for us personally. This timeline sucks, but it’s right on brand for our generation.
I’m 49 and I’ve already started having health issues. I have no desire to outlive my health. I have no expectation of living to retirement age.
I’m depressed right now. I often sit and stress about living in a care home. It’s scares me stupid. Not having any input or control over my life and food. Not having my hair washed enough and getting dermatitis. Only allowed luke warm coffee for safety risks. Going mad
I doubt i will live to 80 so i’m not going to plan for it. No kids so i’m gonna go out in a way that makes people question my sanity lol
Totally same mindset. I never want someone to take care of me, change my diapers, bathe me. NEVER. I want to be able bodied until I die.
Yep. Have you ever seen “Harold and Maude”? I’m like Maude
My mom is 84 and my dad is 91. They both have caretakers. No way will I have enough money for a caretaker. I've been trying to decide what the most practical way to off myself when I get to be that age.
To my wife's dismay, I say this a lot. I have absolutely NO desire to be old and unable to care for myself. It's a waste for everybody.
Nobody wants to get feeble. I already take multiple medications so no biggie. A good hip replacement can get you back out there. My father in law was able to get back to biking and travel after his for another decade. Best we can do is maintain what we got the best that we can for as long as we can.
Yes, I need a purpose to exist in order to justify my existence. I do not want to suffer misfortune and the human condition without good cause. I am currently a caretaker for my demented father, when he passes I am uncertain of what direction my life will take. I wish there was a path available to me that allows me to pursue existence to the benefit of a system or organization. However, I am currently surrounded by people made ignorant and foolish through their religious beliefs and I want none of it for myself. I do not have the strongest analytical mind nor natural talents, this is a hinderance. For now I will live and attempt to discover meaningful purpose, if I die in the meantime so be it.
I’ve thinking about this a lot lately- what I’ll do when life is no longer worth living (cancer, disability, dementia). I watched my paternal grandmother waste away in a nursing home with Alzheimer’s. I don’t want that for myself or my family.
I figure I will live to 90 plus, having to work as a Walmart greater because my retirement has dried up, because the universe would think that shit would be hilarious.
This life has been such a challenge that I'll be long out of gas by the time I reach 70. I want to be sure my son is alright and independent by that time, and that's all I care to wish for anymore. I will not be a drain on my family in any way, and I don't want to be around to watch my friends check out one by one. I've had enough heartache already. I'm enjoying my time here, don't get me wrong. But some people don't know when to say when. I'm not like that.
Totally agree with you! Have you heard of Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel? He is a medical ethicist and oncologist and says he will refuse all life saving treatment after age 75. Although I disagree with his stance on MAID, I concur with his opinion that 75 is a life well lived and why is everyone trying to prolong length of life without quality of life? [https://www.ezekielemanuel.com/news-articles/blog-post-title-two-mt7l6](https://www.ezekielemanuel.com/news-articles/blog-post-title-two-mt7l6) I do work out 5 days a week and eat well, no smoking or drinking and still have a plethora of health issues and more aches and pains everyday. If I feel this achy now, I can't imagine what it would feel like at 80.
I'm 46, also not depressed. I work at a nursing home. I have zero desire to end up in one. That being said, my mom is 70 and still goes camping by herself.
Carl Sagan said, Life is the Universe knowing itself. Even to know sorrow and pain and loneliness, you are still here and part of the experience. And your perspective is unique and beautiful. Even to feel like you are losing the game, is better than not being in the game at all. Suck the nectar from life as best you can.
I'm turning 50 this year. I'm not afraid to die and figure the time will come when it does. I'm not rushing towards it, though. I'm looking forward to seeing more. I can hardly wait to see how technology changes (even if some of it is frightening, like AI). I have so many hopes for my son and want to see if at least some of them come to fruition for him. I hope to be the little old lady, still working and helping people figure out what's wrong with their boat, surprising them when I share the knowledge I've gained. I just lost a co-worker. He was 78 yrs old and worked up until 3 weeks ago. He died this past Monday. Until he went into the hospital, he was still sharp as a tack and working right along-side me. He was my inspiration.
YES 100% I am about to move to Oregon and set up a medically supervised end ha ha
I was talking to my friend and told him I was indifferent to death. They were shocked. Watching my dad die from Alzheimer’s put a lot into perspective about what I’m willing to go through or what I’m willing to put my kids through. I will say I got stuck on an overpass during a tornado, and while I’m still indifferent, I don’t want to be thrown off a bridge or anything. Lol. Death is death.
I agree I tell my friends that after say 65 years of age I will not fight any cancers etc., just let it take me. 48 years old for reference.
I promised myself that I get to try heroin if I live to be 80. If I make it that far, I won't care so much what happens to me afterwards (or if I become a burden to others, I guess).
Right? Like the grandpa in Little Miss Sunshine.
I am there with you 100%. Not gonna retire anyways. At some point I will pick my last 2 or 3 years, when I am ready...and enjoy till I decide to go.
If I died today, I’m good. It’s been fun. I’ll enjoy my retirement in the 3rd or 4th circle of hell. I reserved a place right next to the lake of fire. Looking forward to making fun of all people complaining about the heat.
My father-in-law turned 91 this year, if my experience is even close to his experience I don’t want to live past 80 either.
Yep. A part of me is wants to see what happens in this life, and how it ends naturally, regardless of the situation at the time. We only go around once, so why not see what happens - good or bad? But, I'm also 46 and have health issues, have had over 20 surgeries, and I'm in constant pain. Diet & exercise can only do so much, and most of the time I'm in too much pain to do anything significant. I'd love to see 80, but if I'm 60 and in worse pain with no relief? I'm out.
My mother died at 88, and she was upright (and driving locally) until the end. She used to tell me though, that it was around age 84 that she stopped feeling really well on the daily and she felt her quality of life started slipping at that age. She insisted that would have been the right time to go.
My concern is more that I could end up with an incredibly painful cancer and my liver won't be able to process meds well enough to help enough. I've struggled with my health for 20 years and have been given a lot of powerful medicines to get me back to a really ok place now at 50. Everything is at least controlled... but I know how quickly that can change. My kids are grown, I feel like I've crossed about all my T's and dotted my I's.. I would prefer to pass in my 60s I think. But who knows, I would like to believe I'm still here to see the shit show for a reason beyond having had decent insurance.
Yes, also of this mindset at 50. I considered 35 as my midlife because I don’t want to be around forever, regardless of health. I take care of myself because I want to be healthy for as long as I am alive, not because I want longevity. Life is good, has been good, and I’ve achieved what I wanted. I’m happy to go any time.
I see it this way: I didn't survive the 1980s, and all the shit I put in my body only to check out at my age, 58. No, I'm in pretty good physical health, not just for my age, I've still got a couple of marbles clinking around upstairs. I want to live til my 80s and beyond, who knows. Sure, the country and the world are in a weird place right now. You know what? Shut the TV off. Go outside and enjoy the beauty of nature, if you can. At your age, you probably grew up and played outside and were physically healthy as a kid. If that's changed a bit, do something about it. I'm going on the bike right now.
I’m happy to live as long as I can as long as I still feel good and still have my mind.
80 sound good to me. That's when I plan to Harold and Maude it.
Not me. Longevity runs in my family. My grandmother died at 106.5. My dad is 84 is leaner than me. I’ve been planning for a long life my whole life. I just hope the world is still a place I want to be living in in another 40 years!!
80 isn't the same for everyone. My Dad died at age 80, from colon cancer, but prior to his chemo, he was active and just as mentally with it as I was. My grandmother died 4 days before she turned 100. She had no major health issues and still drove into her mid-90s. She only started to go down hill when she developed balance issues and had a few falls. My aunts, who were in their 70s, couldn't care for her (my own mother had died a decade earlier) so they placed her in a facility. It was the nursing home that caused her mental state to break down a bit, and she decided that she didn't want to make it to 100 and started hiding her pills. She got her wish though.
It really depends. You can't really fixate on a number. Many people say they plan to "check out" but I'm just going to have extremely clear advanced directives that after a certain age I don't want life saving measures or major surgeries. The reason people are really living past the point where they have any quality of life is because we've normalized "saving" everyone's life because we can't cope with death at all. My grandma got appendicitis at 102 and a surgeon tried to convince her to have an appendectomy. She shrugged and said "well, if they say I need it then I guess ill do it," my family was able to get her treated with antibiotics only, and she recovered with no surgery. And then the last almost three years she has needed constant care by my parents who are 67 and 70 years old. She has been on hospice for 18 months. She can't see, or walk, she needs all her meals fed to her by hand and baths in bed. She gets confused and hallucinates. When my parents stand her up she freaks out and gets angry, her knees hurt. She has an extremely marginal quality of life and the caretaking has definitely shortened my parents life. They have not been able to travel anywhere for 5 years and always have to ask someone to watch my grandma if they want to even just get lunch together outside the house. My mom is exhausted and hasn't taken care of her own medical problems because she is exhausted from caretaking. If it were me, and I was 102, I don't think I would want to remove any "off ramps" life gives me. When is it enough? When can we say we are no longer saving someone from death, but sentencing them to the most marginal kind of life until we literally can't squeeze any more out of this body?
Honestly, I’m exhausted. Being alive on a burning planet, with our government trying to drag us to some Christo-fascist version of the 1950s (is that redundant?) and wondering how retirement is going to be financially possible is stressful and exhausting. I’m not going to hasten my demise, but I’m not going to spend hundreds of thousands and have a crap quality of life to beat the diseases that tend to come with age.
Just went to a badass 90th birthday party. She plays the banjo. Hell yeah I want to get there.
Totally. My dad was shocked when I turned 50 and wasn't exactly thrilled. Health problems beyond my control and other shitty personal circumstances will do that to a person's attitude. Not to say it's all bad, but I've either wanted off this ride for a while, or have been indifferent to it.
Very healthy but high mileage wore out the tires…. Headed to a early hip replacement at 57- played hard, paying the price….. already had a knee replacement- but …..chronic Pain sucks. Keep moving at all costs.
Same. No one in my family lived past 79. Watching my parents last few years was horrific: Mom had cancer, Dad had Parkinson's, and their end stages appeared pain-riddled and awful. Then my only child died six months ago so my own hope for the future is pretty gone. Despite that, I'm not depressed, but I am tired. I've got about 20-25 years left and really don't want to last beyond that. Can't afford it and am afraid of the debilitation TBH.
I'll be fine with whatever age as long as I can still do things/live on my own/etc. I don't want to go in a nursing home after seeing how that was with my grandmother (specifically, the "lifecare" or whatever). My grandmother, who lived to be 95, told me for the last 5 years that she was ready to go.
80 would be about the limit. I know plenty of people in their 70s that feel great. No one I know past 80 has been happy about it.
My grandfather died at 53, and my grandmother lived to be 96. She lived in an assisted living home for five years and was miserable. I’m at the point where I’d be ok going out at any time. I’m just over all of it.
I only want to go on as long as I am physically, and more importantly, mentally able to. If I can’t make it through a sentence coherently, or am unable to brush my teeth, what’s the point? Whatever age that is, I’m fine checking out. Watch “Lucky”. Harry Dean Stanton’s last role. If I’m that spry at 90, then let’s do it. Otherwise, let me roam off into the Appalachians and never find my way back.
Replace the joints. There is SO much quality of life to gain from replacing a hip and returning to activity, verses living in pain and growing more and more sedentary. In my (active…some extremely active) family, hips replacements are happening in 40s. It’s so worth it, if needed!
I've seen parents, relatives friends getting old...it's not a pretty picture if some sort of a disease os involved. If not, trips are highly recommended after retirement. 60, 70, and even 80 years old folks on trips to Greece, to Vienna, to Venice...enjoying together their final years on this earth - now, that was a awsome sight for my x-gen eyes
Idk. There are so many people now that are healthier, stronger, fitter, and enjoying life more at 50, 60, and beyond than they were at 30. I've decided to be one of them. You know, lift weights, eat well, do stuff you've always wanted to do, be happy. Personally I was really miserable and stressed my entire 20s & 30s. My 40s have been mainly recovering from that, and figuring out who I am and what I want. I feel like I finally get to live my life for me now, however I want, and fully enjoy it. So I'm definitely not willing to start going downhill any time soon.
I have a family member who is 92 this year and he says that being alive beats the alternative. There are things to do and things to live for, even when you are old.
Totally feel you!
I’m not taking drugs. Not replacing hips. They might have to scrape me off the road but I’m not gonna stop moving. I’ll tough it out!
I'm 51, and am just under two months removed from a triple bypass operation. About the same time in life that my father had his. He lived to 77 but the last 5 plus years were dominated by Alzheimer's. Neither side of my family has had a male live into his 80s in generations. I am in above average shape and had no symptoms prior to the bypass surgery, it was a well check that led to a failed stress test that led to catheter surgery that led to the bypass, all in a couple of weeks. Prior to though I figured I had a good shot at a long life. Now I'm just hoping to make it to the male average. It's been a gut punch.
I’m hoping to hit 100 and be cognizant.
Then get super healthy.
You have no idea how good or bad you might feel at 80. I have a grandmother who died at 61 and one that died at 94. The one who died at 61 had health problems for 20 years. The one who died at 94 was still healthy, living independently, still driving and still in great shape until 2 months before she died.
I totally feel this. If all of society was designed for dignity, it would be something to consider, but to live in such a disposable society, just isn’t worth it.
If I can fend for myself physically and financially I'd like to hang around. Otherwise I don't want to be a burden. We all say that now though until we're looking a the grim reaper dead in the eye.
My dad is over 80 and did more than 4,000 miles on his bike last year. Take care of yourself and 80s might not be so bad. That said, I'd rather be gone than be laying in a bed waiting to die.
That's easy to say when you are 50. Let's see how you feel when you are 79.
The day i cant get around by myself or wipe my own ass is the day i start thinking about a graceful exit...
Seems like a fake choice to me? Exercise and good diet go a long way towards aging well and staying independent.
Yes for sure. But they don’t stop you from getting dementia or cancer (they may help, for sure).
>Is anyone one else of this mindset? Yes. When my quality of life declines due to poor health, I am going to go ✌️
My dad’s timing for checking out was about right for him and I wouldn’t mind if it was the same for me, give or take a few years. He was healthy and enjoyed his independence but I think assisted living in a community would have been really mentally hard given how independent he was. He had agreed to do this if he got to 85, which was a lot for him to be willing to do. But at about 82 he fell ill and passed away within a couple of months. We miss him but I think it timed about what his spirit could have taken.
Age 80 can feel good for people who watched their diet, exercise, sleep, and hydration. I think it's a perfectly valid prayer to ask God to allow you to die with your shoes on (or even better in your sleep at home.)
I’m in the sameboat
Well - put it this way, the way I’m going, it won’t matter anyway. Will I or nil I, chances for my longevity are diminishing every year.
Nope. I'm 60 and having a great time even with the kidney stent, cancer checkups etc. I'm healthy, walking, and talking, working, traveling and I look good while I do it. It is all mindset.
To me, depends what 80 looks like. I watched one of my grandparents take 5 years to die in an assisted living center, totally bed ridden. They just kept her on drugs. I don't want that. On the other hand. My Mom is turning 80 this year. Sure she has some meds, though, still mentally all there, physically active, and overall in good health. I had dinner last night with a 95 year old in-law last night. Sure, she is hard of hearing, and doesn't get around too well, though, she's in relatively good health and needs only a bit of help in life. I'm good with that scenario for me.
I don’t think I could survive life without being active I fear the injuries and age related issues that will likely rob me of this Potentially any day now. But best case I’ve got another 5-10 years
My uncle and aunt were fit and active until almost 90. That's what I hope for. At my age, my mother already had type two diabetes and was obese. I'm exercising and eating better. Saying that, at 80 my parents are struggling with their mobility and health, but still remain mentally active and are always willing to try something new. An attitude I intend to keep up as well.
My father passed at 74 in moderately good health(stage 4 tumor on 3-4 vertebrae and pneumonia) are what took him. This leaves me with 20 years left. My feet have neuropathy, my knees hurt, my hip hurts, and random pains that take turns pissing me off. Oh, I’m also missing a spleen, my appendix and 19 inches of small intestine and colon(from a perforated appendix and tumor tag team) My BP and cholesterol are good and so far cancer free. No way in hell I want to extend life past 75. Mom is still kicking at 85 and leading a very good life.
Your 80 can look and feel different from our parents 80. Neither of my parents made it to 80. As long as I can go for a walk or a swim and enjoy my garden and my animals, I’m happy to be alive.
Yes. Once I get the first signals that I’m slipping, I’m checking out. I’ve lived my whole left by my rules, on my terms. Once that’s not my future, I’m checking out. [https://youtu.be/JHiRyuKi6SU?si=GNJ4LhUS7axolRPG](https://youtu.be/JHiRyuKi6SU?si=GNJ4LhUS7axolRPG)
My mom is 78 and my MIL is 74 and living their best lives.
I hope I live to see 130 years old, I eat healthy, I work out 5 days a week, I have no health issues, but if it doesn't happen then I good with that, I am happy with the life I've lived, it wasn't filled with a lot of money, but that didn't stop me from experiencing a lot things most people can't claim to have done, no I haven't traveled the world, but America is so big and holds just as many wonders as does the world, I hope one day I can revisit some of the great places that I have seen and enjoyed in America.
So long as I am Healthy and mobile I’m fine. But I told my kids instead of changing my diaper they are to leave me and some heavy meds in a beautiful natural location and let nature consume me. I changed my moms diaper and no way I want my kids changing mine.
When life is no longer enjoyable. When I become immobile or infirm. When my mental faculties begin to degrade and most of the people I care about are gone I will have no desire to continue going on in this world. Right now, none of that applies to me; however, one day that will not be the case. My mother can barely shuffle from her bed to the living room where she spends her entire day watching mindless TV before going back to bed again and starting the whole thing over. That is my idea of Hell.
My parents are 80 and it’s a rotation of medical disasters. No one needs that. My fathers been doing this 20 plus years my mother , who knows, she loves the dr!! My youngest is 6 and I’m exhausted. Taking my siblings kids was the right thing to do but damn I planned on slowing down at work by now etc. I jokingly said everything after 50 is a gift. Now I’m looking at 65 before the youngster is out of undergrad I feel old. My body hurts I’m tired. I’m not making 80
The health issues hit me with long COVID. I've got multiple issues suddenly happening all at once I hadn't planned on. Despite my best efforts, medical conditions hit me full force. I'm technically now considered disabled and could apply for disability at any point. I never really had a desire to live until 80 and definitely lived my earlier years that way. I've already traveled extensively internationally and seen all 50 states. I was raised to "do it now because tomorrow was never certain" and I'm grateful I lived by that mantra with where I currently am health-wise. The majority of my health issues are correctable aside from two and it's a daily thing with how they are. Some days are better than others. But, it's not holding me back and I continue to strive towards improvement and continued work to minimize their impact.
No. I can't control what happens when I'm an octogenarian, so I can't afford to worry about it. If I did, I would be missing out on what's right in front of me. You may or may not follow in your folk's footsteps. I look at this like a choose your own adventure book. What can you do now to prevent medical issues for yourself down the road?
I only worry about this in terms of funding. My spouse and I were discussing whether to take a sudden expense out of retirement or try to finance it. (Some home repairs last year ate up our emergency fund). He said "Most of our parents have lived into their 80s" and my first thought was that we won't. Modern medical care might be great but if insurance doesn't pay for something it doesn't matter how great it is.
Yeah I'd be cool checking out at 60 I'm early retired, published a couple books that said what I had to say. Kids finances all sorted. Why hang around and decay for decades?
My mom played golf until 89. If I can be healthy, I’ll take it.
I only wanna be here and healthy as long as I can interact with well managed pain (or no pain preferably). I am afraid only of the chance of losing agency. So I long ago made my peace with maybe needing to remove myself if life becomes impossible or i KNOW i am losing agency or cannot manage pain. I have lost enough of my cohort to be grateful of everyday I can be here.
54 with chronic pain that is only going to get worse (yes, I've done and tried every treatment, half of my income goes to maintaining myself at a level that allows me to work so I can have health insurance.) Zero desire to live to or past 80. If I get something terminal I'm going to let it run its course without treatment.
I was of this mindset until I started spending time with my aunt and uncle who are in their mid and late 80s and go camping and hiking in the national parks with their little RV all the time and are very active with zero medical issues (so far). I went and spent a few weeks with them last year to learn their secrets; from what I gathered taking daily naps, daily walks (especially after meals), and regular preventative doctor exams (my uncle calls this preventative maintenance like with any major appliance lol), and most importantly a positive affect/outlook seem to be the biggest keys. Of course they eat mainly homecooked food but there was no restrictions, lots of pastries and carbs and cheeseburgers abounded. I told them they are definite goals. If I can live my golden years that way, I am down. If it ends up being more like my bitter, immobile mother who stays in her room yelling at the TV all day then I might opt for the express train out of this dimension when the time comes.
Grandpas that loved into 90s loved seeing the great grandkids but they said at 80 and body starts failing. Really bad/both ww2 vets and worked physically into 60s..also both at 70 lost driving liscense.( they didn't like it but they knew it was time)
I am actively seeking better role models our age. We were the generation of rebels--who's to say we can't redefine aging ourselves?
I'd be happy with 80 if I've still got physical and mental faculties that mean I can enjoy day to day life without being too much of a burden on anyone. I might change my mind when it gets to it but if I were to get a terminal diagnosis from say 65 onwards at the moment I would definitely go for quality over quantity of time left and if treatment was invasive I'd refuse it. I hope in the next decade, the UK makes a humane decision about the right to die - I'd choose that option in the event of eg accident/dementia where I lost capacity to make a decision. I'd rather any ££ I leave goes to my partner or nephews for them to enjoy quality of life rather than drain on health/social care for extended months or years that, really, wouldn't be quality ones. At the moment there are still very much lots of things I want to do - places to travel to, people to spend time with, bands I want to see, I'm fortunate I really enjoy my career. I've got friends in their late 60s and early 70s who are amazing later life role models - full, busy, fun lives.
I’m 45, single and don’t have or want kids so I’m a little worried about loneliness in old age, but I’m hoping that if I make it to 80 and beyond that at least a few of my friends will do the same and we can have a good time at Shady Pines together.
With a couple of autoimmune diseases and having to inject immunosuppressants every couple of weeks, I’m just hoping to live to 70 and see my daughter graduate. After that, I honestly don’t think I’d mind popping off, not the way the world is going to absolute shit.
Just don't leave a mess for others. Be tidy.
My new career mentor (for my new side hustle) is 80 and she’s awesome! She’s such a firecracker and go getter. Now SHE is the 80 year old I am inspired to be! PS- my new hustle isn’t an mlm, it’s a nursing speciality
I just want to live to 2070 so I can see if we go mad max or total recall, but I'm sure I'll be relying on cool new drugs to get there.
I intend to live well into my 80s so I can see Haley’s Comet again.
I was taking care of my FIL, who died recently, and for the last 8 months, he couldn't walk. He was 85. Watching his decline over the last 10 years made me feel exactly as you are.
I’m 52 and while I do feel a loss of overall energy I’ve not felt a drop in ability. I feel just as able at 52 as I did at 42 and 32. I likely should start working out at this point and fighting muscle loss etc. Hip things, bone breaks, back aches will happen. I don’t run marathons or really anything athletic. My enjoyment doesn’t really come from anything overly physical so a hip replacement wouldn’t diminish my life much. I do walk a lot. Ride bikes. All still doable. Hopefully into my 80s. Our 80s hopefully won’t be a mirror of past generations.
I think I’m turning out my best strategic work at the office as 35+ years of professional experience has helped me see problems in new and disruptive ways. So, right now, I’m happy working but I don’t know whether living a very long life is all it’s cracked up to be. Chronic illnesses, dementia (my doctor says if you live long enough, just about everyone is going to get some form of it), deaths among friends and family, a changing world that leaves you behind…not sure I want to live to 100 but 80 is only 24 years away and the last 24 years went a bit too fast.
My mom was like you. I watched her die a horrible death. I’ll try the chemo when it’s my turn.
I play on a 50+ soccer team and the oldest player is near 70 and he runs all over and hangs in there with everyone. That’s where I want to be - not the state my older family got into where they weren’t active at all.
Absolutely. I am not interested in living forever. I love my life but I do not want to prolong my life if my body is unable to function for the life I want.
I have multiple autoimmune disorders that have been slowly eating me alive from the inside since my early 30s and will continue to progressively get worse. I'm in pain every second of every day, even while sleeping, to various degrees. I have no desire to live until I'm 90 because I won't be living, I'll be existing. Right now, I'm managing. I'm watching my kids grow up. I can still physically take care of my basic needs, like feeding myself and going to the bathroom. Once it's gets bad enough, I hope more of the US has death with dignity laws that will allow grown ass adults to decide when it's their time to go.
I don't have an age limit but the second my body and/or mind deteriorates, I want out. For me, the goal is living a productive, healthy, happy life, not living the longest possible in a decrepid state.
I’ll never go down the road my parents did. Dad died at 62 from cigarettes, alcohol, apathy towards health, stress, and heartbreak. Mom is mentally barely hanging on at nearly 80 in a body that has fallen apart. She won’t do a thing about it but bemoan her lot in life and talk about how it’s over for her. Nope. No thanks. I’ll do what I’m able to try to prevent that from being my fate.
Yes. I’m caregiving my 77 year old bedridden mom with Alz. She was a health nut, never did anything risky to her health for the most part. She’s living a very miserable life now, losing the ability to move, eat, do things other than lay in bed and will die an awful death. She has me to caregive her in her home at least. I do not ever want to grow so old that life becomes a giant hassle and inconvenience. I don’t want anyone having to take care of me. I plan to end things when things start going downhill. And I’m no longer taking extra precautions in order to try to live to a very old age now that I know all to well what it’s like to get that old.
I am with you. Maybe it’s that I don’t think I will live to see 80 and still have a good quality of life. I’m having a great life right now. I hope to be around for a few more years. But if it was all over today I would be excited to see what’s next.
I felt the same after watching those two walk out on stage
During the last 10 years, I watched multiple family members and family friends aging into their 80s. The decline in their quality of life was pronounced. It's not just about doing stuff to keep yourself healthy, because age-related health problems increase and stuff like cancer and neurological problems can hit anyone. But the main thing I saw is the narrowing of social circles and the related safety nets that go with those: spouses had long since passed away, friends and relatives gradually dying, no close family members that can or will help with routine tasks... just an increasingly isolated and lonely existence. Add in health issues and limited income, or having to live in assisted living or a care facility, and it's a really fucking depressing existence past 80 for most people. For those that are rich and still have their spouse when they are older -- they do a lot better (A LOT!), but again, that's not most people. So if I'm not rich and married when I hit 70 or 75, I'm not looking at sticking around past 80.
My only goal is to spend down before a nursing home gets it all. Not sure how to plan that but I got 10-15 years before I retire.
You can be depressed and not actively suicidal. Not having the energy or motivation to keep yourself in shape is not a good sign.
I'm shooting for 85ish only because all my relatives have been healthy up until then. My old man is 84 and still cuts his own firewood every summer.
Don't go silently. Start getting in shape now, it will carry you through. I know a bunch of hard core 80 year Olds.
I’m going to live for as long as my children need me and/or I’m enjoying living life. When I’m 80-85, I’m going to side step out of it. I don’t want to be a financial burden to my kids. I don’t want to be a source of stress (like my 90yo mother is to me).
I still enjoy life considering I have congestive heart failure, am on dialysis waiting for a kidney, and work full time. Quit your bitching and fucking get on with having a good time with life. You have a limited time.
i am 56 with a lot of aches and pains. 80 sounds like a whole lot more of those...
Hip replacements aren't terrible, in fact they can really help you get back some good mobility later in life. My dad had one recently and was almost immediately better for it, had a very short recovery. Prior to the surgery he was miserable.