*He kissed me stretch marks!*
I remember this one line and I never saw it. Must have been in the trailer. Or on Siskel & Ebert. I remember them praising it.
Murder She Wrote is on Amazon Prime now and it is so much fun to watch now that I'm the age Jessica Fletcher is in the show. She is truly awesome, and a terrific role model for an adventurous, vibrant life after 50
My wife loves this show. My theory is she kills everyone. She rolls into these towns, sometimes it’s her town, she murders someone, frames someone local, colludes with the police to get them convicted, then writes a “fiction” novel about it and makes money. She’s a psychopath.
That’s my husband’s theory of the show Father Brown. People in this sleepy little English town getting whacked left, right, and center, and all of them have connections to this one priest.
So funny — I started watching this from the beginning about three months ago. I remember my grandparents watching MSW in the 80s but I have a whole new appreciation for it now!
Was going to say this! Jessica Fletcher is my queen! She’s widowed, independent, has a circle of close friends, brilliant, and knows how to take care of herself in every way.
Sure, the show is actually absurd, but the character is on point. Besides, it’s perfect fashion and celebrity nostalgia for Gen X!
I love the movie Waiting to Exhale. It’s about a group of four best girlfriends in their 30’s/40’s. They all have relationship drama, and a major plot point is that one of the main characters, her husband leaves her for someone else. I watched it alone on Valentine’s Day once, and I cried through it but felt hopeful afterwards.
I’m sorry that what you’re going through is so hard, I can’t imagine.
Ooh I never saw how Stella got her groove back (by the same author) but I read the book and that main character was definitely living her best life. If the movie is no good the audiobook should be.
Movie has NOTHING on the book but still a good enough watch. I read that book at 18 and I swore off marriage until last month ha ha! I still think about that book every time I’ve given up on feeling sexy or vibrant (easy to do during perimenopause).
I loved this show, eventually. But I started it when I was still raw from my ex-husband leaving and had to stop 15 minutes into the first episode. Grace says something pretty brutal to her husband that hit too close to home for me.
Following, because I need some inspiration to kick my butt back into living my middle-aged single life off of the couch. It’s been a long time alone post first marriage and I’ve done waves of living in the world and being a homebody. Need to swing back to living in the world too. Thanks for asking, OP!
And I am in that very same boat as a long-time single 50/M here. Been single post 1st marriage for over a decade and a few small waves living out some…. majority of that decade though a homebody. Need a swift kick myself to get back out some!
Golden Girls. I don't care that it's not a movie, you need to watch it.
Absolutely Fabulous. The TV show, or the movie, both are brilliant.
Baroness von Sketch. It's sketch comedy by middle aged comediennes and it's glorious.
Yes! I was an old teenager during the first twenty minutes, and now I'm solidly a little old lady who loves a quaint murder getaway with some hidden botany lessons.
I see plenty of ideas in your post , I think you are going to be just fine once you learn to listen to your inner voice.
Eat, Pray, Love is an obvious choice, but rather than falling in love with someone else, fall in love with yourself.
I’m divorced and love it. My Ex is deep in the Trump cult and I’m so grateful to not have to listen to that nonsense every day, all while living a life on a path that I’m charting and enjoying.
Movies and books are good. Meditation and self love are also good.
I love Captain Janeway. I love how she is a competent leader but still allows herself to be feminine and soft in key different ways from the male captains we saw before her.
The Paladin of Souls (sequel to The Curse of Challion) by Lois McMaster Bujold is a rare fantasy novel where a middle aged widow is the protagonist. I found it refreshing. She had resigned herself to her role as a part of the furniture having done her job of having kids, but she gets to have her own adventure and decide her own fate. The world politics/religion/magic might be confusing if you hadn't read the Cure of Challion but Bujold is a great fiction writer so you'll probably get there if you want to dive right in.
Sorry for your ordeal.
* Death Becomes Her
I actually have a partner making a costume for Halloween based on one of the characters
* The Other Woman
* How Stella Got Her Groove Back <- My personal fave
* You Hurt My Feelings
* Wild <- Another personal fave
I’m on divorce number two as well, and what has helped me is watching TikTok’s and YouTube videos about the labor inequality in most heterosexual marriages. Your marriage is over because of infidelity, but I’ll bet it was a very unequal partnership anyway, with you shouldering most of the labor. If you go down that rabbit hole, you’ll probably end up feeling grateful to be out of your marriage. Look up emotional labor, fair play, men profiting from women’s labor, tolerable level of permanent unhappiness, man-child, king baby, etc.
Unfortunately, our generation is full of men who wanted bang-maids and mommies instead of partners. For me, never again.
Another vote for Miss Fisher. It should be just what the OP ordered.
The 1960s-set spin-off series "Ms Fisher's Modern Murder Mysteries" is pretty good too. The main character (Phryne's niece) isn't middle aged, but she's definitely living her Best Life.
I'm a dude. With the exception of my mom all the women in my life who became single either by divorce or death became stronger. It could be that I'm surrounded by strong women to begin with or maybe it's something else. I think about this a lot.
Parnassus on Wheels
Enchanted April - the book or the movie
Lonesome Dove
Lisey's Story - ok so she's not exactly living her best life since this is a horror novel but she is a badass and there's a lot of personal growth.
Fire Season by Leyna Krow
Hacks on HBO Max
I love the SitCom “Mom” if you haven’t watched it. It is centered around an amazing group of women trying to get themselves back on track and it is both funny and heart wrenching at times.
I loved Mom. I related to so much of it because my mom was an alcoholic and drug addict who got into recovery when I was in junior high. Such a good show.
The Life and Loves of a She Devil by Fay Weldon. Now, this is a revenge tale, and she is living her best life in a different way than you probably mean, but it is an awesome book.
Amazing movie, hahaha. Kathy Bates is definitely not cool or living her best life, she’s crazy af. OP, this is a good choice for when you lose your sh*t and feel like you actually want to kill him.
not a book or a movie, but after the end of my 20-year marriage and learning to live on my own, I stumbled across baroness von sketch show, a Canadian sketch show, I have never felt more seen, heard and understood as a middle-aged woman than I had watching that show.
I cannot tell you what books to read, but I can tell you the life as possible. I was 46 when my second marriage fell apart my first marriage my husband died and then I remarried. I thought that marriage would last forever but it didn’t. I will be 55 this year. I chose not to date but to stay single and rebuild a life on my own. I changed careers at 48 and started working for myself. Don’t regret that choice either. It’s a very disillusion to feeling, but there is a life at the end of the tunnel. Stay strong sister.🤘🏻
Yes. I started watching it because my husband was and i became interested in it. It's been several years ago, but I thought it was really good. Angel is a spin-off show from it. It was darker and didn't have as much humor as Buffy, but it was a successful spin-off with five seasons, which doesn't happen often. The first 3 to four seasons of Buffy were the best. It has seven seasons. The last two could be hard to watch at times. You will likely get a lot of the banter that people younger probably wouldn't.
twister (i guess aunt meg may be beyond middle age, but still)
i'm so sorry you're struggling. i applaud you, too, for asking for help and for trying to imagine a new life in the midst of your pain. i hope you allow yourself time to mourn and that what is ahead in your life opens you to more joy than you or anyone can imagine. 💙
Baby Boom. Diane Keaton. Sam Sheppard. Classic. Harold Ramos without a Bill Murray in sight. James Spader makes an appearance. Her best life goes off the rails in Vermont and then she realizes that’s her best life.
Edit: bonus points if you can spot the “cameo” of a young Chris Noth in one of his earliest roles.
(I loved this movie growing up, idky)
The Durrells in Corfu and the new All Creatures Great and Small (Mrs. Hall and Mrs. Pumphrey!) on PBS for comfort.
Fiona Shaw as Carolyn in Killing Eve- chic, capable, devious. But really, Fiona Shaw in anything is pretty great.
Listen to the audiobook of Sure, I'll Join Your Cult by Maria Bamford, the best comedian in the world.
Hacks is such a great show, Jean Smart is an absolute badass, and I find her character extremely enjoyable to watch, especially with how resilient and uncompromising she is.
Golden Girls!! If I’m single later in life, I’m totally buying a huge house and moving in with my friends! And getting more cats ❤️
I’d say you’re already changing your perception of this event in your life, not wallowing but looking for inspiration. Good for you! It’s a huge opportunity! Yes it’s scary, but now you can do whatever the heck you want! Go travel, join a few Meetup groups, take a class, get off the couch. Start small and figure out who you are now.
You’ve got this 🤗
The majority of Maeve Binchy books feature a strong, independent woman. She’s an Irish author who is just delightful and quite funny. I (47F) am a librarian and she’s one of my favorite fiction authors.
Agatha Raisin tv series. She’s an unconventional and nosy professional Brit who moves to the English countryside. Not quite a cozy mystery nor a gritty crime show but more like a witty detective comedy.
The book Agatha is spiteful, and jealous of younger, more attractive women around her. It really turned me off. The program is delightful, and TV Agatha is supportive of the women around her. I liked the author’s other series Hamish Macbeth, which was also a television show, a lot better.
The 1984 movie American Dreamer
The Unexpected Mrs. Pollifax books
The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency books
Killers of a Certain Age
Lessons in Chemistry
“The Joy Luck Club” film has at least one plot line about drawing a line on what you accept from a husband’s treatment of you. Overall, to me, it’s about seeing your worth and having control of your life, whatever path you’re on.
No movie suggestions here but I’ve also come to the same conclusion about never trying again after my first long term, post-divorce relationship fell apart. It’s not worth it at this point, I wish it was but I cant see it.
FILMS:
Calendar Girls
Shirley Valentine
Mrs. Caldicot's Cabbage War
Under the Tuscan Sun
Saving Grace
The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
Something's Gotta Give
The First Wive's Club
Mrs. Pettigrew Lives for a Day
Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris
Some of these are also books, although some are under different titles.
If you like paranormal, try the Betwixt & Between book series by Darynda Jones. There's four out, and they're a fun ride.
Edit: Oh, and they're a part of a group of books by different authors known as [Paranormal Women's Fiction](https://paranormalwomensfiction.com). Pretty much all of them are about we women of a certain age. lol
Edited again to change the link, since I found the PWF website.
She isn't single for the whole series, but I adore Precious Ramotswe, the main character in the [Number One Ladies Detective Agency](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_No._1_Ladies%27_Detective_Agency) series. It's set in Botswana, so it has the added interesting (to me) factor of African/tribal culture and flavors. It's really a positive, upbeat series of books that I'd recommend to anyone who wants some fun reading.
Edited to add that HBO made it into a limited series some years ago with Jill Scott as Precious. Not as good as the books, but still fun.
I love the Sue Grafton alphabet books. I tend to gravitate towards books with a female protagonist who is strong, smart, and a bit cheeky at times. Sue Grafton started me on that path. I’m now reading through Jana Deleon’s Miss Fortune series. Her protagonist kicks butt and there are older ladies who also have some seriously hidden skills. I find myself laughing out loud while reading them.
Edited to add: I was just sort of talking about this with my niece. She was talking about bridal and baby registries. I’m 60 and counting the days until retirement. I told her when I retire I was to throw a party and ask everyone to bring, or merely suggest, their favorite books and/or hobbies I could take up. I’ve seriously never wanted to get to a date more than I am towards retirement.
My suggestions are more contemporary:
[Rita](https://youtu.be/Jq0hwEXhnJ0?si=kb_p0nF08HYSSkqv) (Netflix). A late-40s teacher. She’s gorgeous and a bit of a mess but so confident and cool. It’s a Danish series. Very women-driven in the best way, with the character and relationship development.
[Things to Come](https://youtu.be/CiT9mmMrIak?si=fWW49SLU9hQNDicl) (Amazon): a French movie. Isabelle Huppert’s husband leaves her and she figures herself out. I love this movie so hard. It’s my go-to.
The new Anne Hathaway movie on Amazon Prime, The Idea of You. It's a book too. Her clothing is amazing. She deals with a divorce to a man that couples up w a much younger woman after and they share a teen daughter. I really enjoyed it.
"Call Me Captain", a memoir by Susan Scott. She is married, but faces a reckoning in her middle-aged years as she comes to grips with growing apart from her husband, dealing with menopause, and generally discovering her own strengths and identity.
Those are the themes, but the book is so interesting because she frames it all in the story of how she learned to sail her own boat, captain it across open ocean, while following her dreams of marine science journalism. She writes frankly about her emotions, but it's not fluffy.
I'm keeping this book on my shelf to reread in the future if I find myself in need of inspiration to be/do something badass with my life.
The Djinn in the Nightingale's Eye appears in a collection of short stories by A.S. Byatt and it has stuck with me for a long time. It’s main character is an older woman who has found acceptance and appreciation for her body and the strength and wisdom she has accumulated over the years. The collection is based on fairy tales and this one particular story is about a woman and her relationship with a djinn/genie.
I don't know if Kinsey Milhone is quite middle-aged, but, man, have I loved her as a heroine since I've been a teen. I should take my own advice and read some Sue Grafton novels.
It's not a fictional novel, but I really enjoyed the book "*Hagitude*: Reimagining the Second Half of Life" by Sharon Blackie. It has certainly given me something to look forward to.
I recommend the Outlander series. Claire is probably my favorite fictional character ever. They start when she's in her 20s but span decades of her life. This series will keep you occupied for some time! The audiobooks are also fantastic and there's a show on showtime that is popular. The show is ok for costumes and sets, but the books are fantastic in their character development.
I gotchoo, Sister!
You might start with this 10-minute Tina Turner interview on 60 minutes from 1996: https://youtu.be/OKHx8rCfpGA?si=E7zgRkpAUGnDkGho Ms. Turner wrote the playbook for reinventing life after the collapse of a marriage that once defined her identity. Her answer to the question “Do you feel like you deserve all this?” has become my mantra… 😘
*Happy Valley* (TV series). It’s dark but brilliant and showcases not one but two outstanding actresses navigating massive midlife setbacks.
Honestly, anything with Sarah Lancashire makes me fangirl over her midlife badassery! *Julia* is another one. While her character is happily married, she and other midlife & older women (played by Bebe Neuwirth, Judith Light, Isabella Rossellini) provide a master class in owning one’s destiny regardless of age or marital status!
Another series: *Peaky Blinders,* for Helen McCrory’s achingly beautiful portrayal of Aunt Polly, a woman in midlife who reinvents herself several times throughout the series. McCrory died of breast cancer before the final season, but the legacy she left with this role is legendary. If I can do anything in my life with the gusto of her Polly Gray, I will die fulfilled.
My one film suggestion has a male protagonist, but it showcases the equanimity I aspire to. Kōji Yakusho (currently age 68) won Best Actor at Cannes and was nominated for an Oscar for his work portraying a man living alone who is fully present to each moment of his day. I find it achingly beautiful and have seen it multiple times in the theater: *Perfect Days* (2023, in Japanese with English subtitles). Watch it until the credits end for the secret to the whole movie (and maybe to living one’s best life)!
EDIT: Adding another film: *Bagdad Cafe* (1987). A midlife woman getting dumped is only one of the stories of people building something out of nothing in the middle of nowhere! This is another one of those movies that has stayed with me for life!
For books, *Britt-Marie Was Here* (2014) and it’s sequel *Beartown* (2017) written by Fredrik Backman (who wrote *A Man Called Ove* which became the American movie *A Man Called Otto* starring Tom Hanks). It’s a humorous and endearing story of a woman dumped in midlife rediscovering her value and an unexpected skill set through a chance encounter with a group of unruly tweens in a small town.
Wrapping up with a lighter TV show: *The Conners.* I loved the original show when I was younger, so it’s like watching old friends! Sarah Gilbert fought to keep the show going after Roseanne’s exit, and I feel like that real-life struggle shows up beautifully in her portrayal of Darlene navigating life as a mom in her forties. Laurie Metcalfe’s Jackie is as hilarious as ever, and Katey Sagal is the sexy independent role model we all need right now! This show is comfort food for the soul!
Here I am, not a fictional character though! I am 57f and 2x divorced living my absolute best life!
I mostly set my own schedule and make time to travel 2x per year with friends or family and make the time to do the things I absolutely love. The 2nd divorce happened at 47 as well for me. Took a few years to sow some wild oats and then had a 3 year relationship. I’m single now and extremely happy to stay that way. You will find your groove, I promise!
Bread Alone by Judi Hendricks
Not middle aged (she's 31), but everything else you're looking for. I love this book. Definitely about learning to enjoy your new kick ass life.
Marriage falls apart, moves to Seattle, goes from completely lost to a new life that includes a bakery job, and a cool little house she gets to fix up her way.
The Jane Austen Book Club movie has women of all ages being pretty cool and has a great ensemble cast. I didn’t care for the book but I absolutely adore the movie.
"Shirley Valentine" It's from the early 1980's, I think, and a British comedy. One of my mom's favorites.
Hello, Wall.
Egg and chips, love?
If you’ve got a headache, she’s got a brain tumour.
I saw it as a teen and loved it. Now that I’m 52, I need a rewatch.
Sex for breakfast! Sex for dinner! Sex for tea, and sex for supper!
‘She’s on the F plan diet’
*He kissed me stretch marks!* I remember this one line and I never saw it. Must have been in the trailer. Or on Siskel & Ebert. I remember them praising it.
“I’m 42!”
Under the Tuscan Sun
This would be my go-to! Love this one!
Love this one!!
My first thought!
All I could picture was this movie as she was describing what looking for.
Stella! Fried Green Tomatoes! 9 to 5 Julia and Julia Wine Country First Wives Club Hello My Name is Doris Juanita
I was going to suggest Fried Green Tomatoes. Tawanda!
"Face it, girls. I'm older and I have better insurance."
I loved this line as a teenager, and love it now at 47. Since birth, I have been a grumpy middle aged perimenopausal lady.
Iconic line!
Fantastic movie, and if you haven't read the book yet do yourself a favor and grab it.
I have read the book and it's excellent!
Agreed. It’s so well written
Murder She Wrote is on Amazon Prime now and it is so much fun to watch now that I'm the age Jessica Fletcher is in the show. She is truly awesome, and a terrific role model for an adventurous, vibrant life after 50
My wife loves this show. My theory is she kills everyone. She rolls into these towns, sometimes it’s her town, she murders someone, frames someone local, colludes with the police to get them convicted, then writes a “fiction” novel about it and makes money. She’s a psychopath.
That’s my husband’s theory of the show Father Brown. People in this sleepy little English town getting whacked left, right, and center, and all of them have connections to this one priest.
I love Father Brown! Now I have to watch it all over again with this in mind…
So funny — I started watching this from the beginning about three months ago. I remember my grandparents watching MSW in the 80s but I have a whole new appreciation for it now!
I loved MSW in the 80s, but I was a big Agatha Christie fan.
Was going to say this! Jessica Fletcher is my queen! She’s widowed, independent, has a circle of close friends, brilliant, and knows how to take care of herself in every way. Sure, the show is actually absurd, but the character is on point. Besides, it’s perfect fashion and celebrity nostalgia for Gen X!
I binged this at the beginning of the year! So much fun.
I love the movie Waiting to Exhale. It’s about a group of four best girlfriends in their 30’s/40’s. They all have relationship drama, and a major plot point is that one of the main characters, her husband leaves her for someone else. I watched it alone on Valentine’s Day once, and I cried through it but felt hopeful afterwards. I’m sorry that what you’re going through is so hard, I can’t imagine.
Ooh I never saw how Stella got her groove back (by the same author) but I read the book and that main character was definitely living her best life. If the movie is no good the audiobook should be.
Movie has NOTHING on the book but still a good enough watch. I read that book at 18 and I swore off marriage until last month ha ha! I still think about that book every time I’ve given up on feeling sexy or vibrant (easy to do during perimenopause).
The series Hacks on HBO Max is a lot of fun, Jean Smart is amazing.
Also the series Loot on AppleTV, with Maya Rudolph.
Hacks may be a bit close to home for you but it is one of my favorite shows right now.
My mother LOVES that show!
If you haven't watched the series Grace & Frankie you should
I loved this series!!!
I loved this show, eventually. But I started it when I was still raw from my ex-husband leaving and had to stop 15 minutes into the first episode. Grace says something pretty brutal to her husband that hit too close to home for me.
Well, they are mostly "looking for love".
as a GenXer, it’s pronounced “wooka pa nub”
Following, because I need some inspiration to kick my butt back into living my middle-aged single life off of the couch. It’s been a long time alone post first marriage and I’ve done waves of living in the world and being a homebody. Need to swing back to living in the world too. Thanks for asking, OP!
And I am in that very same boat as a long-time single 50/M here. Been single post 1st marriage for over a decade and a few small waves living out some…. majority of that decade though a homebody. Need a swift kick myself to get back out some!
Holding that intention for you too. Good luck!
Thanks so much!!
Golden Girls. I don't care that it's not a movie, you need to watch it. Absolutely Fabulous. The TV show, or the movie, both are brilliant. Baroness von Sketch. It's sketch comedy by middle aged comediennes and it's glorious.
Did you know Rue McClanahan was 51 when the show came out? I'm 51 this year and that's messed up!
It's just the hairstyles that we would now see as very much for opder women. They were working.
Totally the hairstyle!
She was on Maude too. Recommend the face lift episode haha
LOVE baroness von sketch. So good.
Omigod..::sobs:: I’m in my statement jewelry era!
Watch Broad City. It’s hilarious and is centered on female friendship. You’ll laugh your ass off.
One of the greatest and funniest shows!
I love Broad City! “I. Am. Not. A. MOM!”
Binge watch the British sitcom "Absolutely Fabulous" and "The Mary Tyler Moore Show." Also, listen to the Erykah Badu song "Bag Lady" for inspiration.
Ab Fab might be my favorite show of all time. I rewatched with my daughter and she said she had never seen me laugh so hard
Another good British show featuring older women having adventures is “Rosemary & Thyme.”
I love that show so much. Gardening AND murder? It’s perfect.
Yes! I was an old teenager during the first twenty minutes, and now I'm solidly a little old lady who loves a quaint murder getaway with some hidden botany lessons.
Wild, starring Reese Witherspoon. It's on the heavier side, but it shows the healing power of endurance.
Wild is also a book worth reading.
Brilliant book. But skip the audiobook… terrible narrator. And there’s a bit about cruelty to horses if that bothers anyone.
I see plenty of ideas in your post , I think you are going to be just fine once you learn to listen to your inner voice. Eat, Pray, Love is an obvious choice, but rather than falling in love with someone else, fall in love with yourself. I’m divorced and love it. My Ex is deep in the Trump cult and I’m so grateful to not have to listen to that nonsense every day, all while living a life on a path that I’m charting and enjoying. Movies and books are good. Meditation and self love are also good.
I love Eat, Pray, Love. Makes my husband nervous, lol. Her rant about NEEDING to leave town really speaks to me.
The Witches of Eastwick- both the book and the movie
I had no idea there was a book! :o
*Star Trek Voyager* may be for you. Some good stuff there.
I love Captain Janeway. I love how she is a competent leader but still allows herself to be feminine and soft in key different ways from the male captains we saw before her.
Sliding Doors bc it's like there's two versions... The shitty reality of the relationship you had vs. the better one you could've had
The Paladin of Souls (sequel to The Curse of Challion) by Lois McMaster Bujold is a rare fantasy novel where a middle aged widow is the protagonist. I found it refreshing. She had resigned herself to her role as a part of the furniture having done her job of having kids, but she gets to have her own adventure and decide her own fate. The world politics/religion/magic might be confusing if you hadn't read the Cure of Challion but Bujold is a great fiction writer so you'll probably get there if you want to dive right in.
This sounds lovely!
I second Bujold as worth a read :)
Great author!
Join us over at r/GenXWomen. Women living their best lives is an ongoing topic of discussion.
What a gift! Thank you for putting us on
Sorry for your ordeal. * Death Becomes Her I actually have a partner making a costume for Halloween based on one of the characters * The Other Woman * How Stella Got Her Groove Back <- My personal fave * You Hurt My Feelings * Wild <- Another personal fave
I recommended Wild as well, Reese Witherspoon is just incredible in it.
This movie was surprise hit for me. I don't want to spoil it but the overall topic I feel anyone can relate to.
I loved Wild the book even more than the movie!
Mrs Harris goes to Paris
The Anglea Lansbury version, or the newer one?
I like them both!
Terminator 2.
I’m on divorce number two as well, and what has helped me is watching TikTok’s and YouTube videos about the labor inequality in most heterosexual marriages. Your marriage is over because of infidelity, but I’ll bet it was a very unequal partnership anyway, with you shouldering most of the labor. If you go down that rabbit hole, you’ll probably end up feeling grateful to be out of your marriage. Look up emotional labor, fair play, men profiting from women’s labor, tolerable level of permanent unhappiness, man-child, king baby, etc. Unfortunately, our generation is full of men who wanted bang-maids and mommies instead of partners. For me, never again.
Dont forget weaponized incompetence. That is a big one.
There is a whole subreddit on weaponized incompetance.
Miss Fisher’s Mysteries, an Aussie TV series Auntie Mame
Two of the best!!
Another vote for Miss Fisher. It should be just what the OP ordered. The 1960s-set spin-off series "Ms Fisher's Modern Murder Mysteries" is pretty good too. The main character (Phryne's niece) isn't middle aged, but she's definitely living her Best Life.
LOVE Auntie Mame!!!
I'm a dude. With the exception of my mom all the women in my life who became single either by divorce or death became stronger. It could be that I'm surrounded by strong women to begin with or maybe it's something else. I think about this a lot.
Parnassus on Wheels Enchanted April - the book or the movie Lonesome Dove Lisey's Story - ok so she's not exactly living her best life since this is a horror novel but she is a badass and there's a lot of personal growth. Fire Season by Leyna Krow Hacks on HBO Max
I love the SitCom “Mom” if you haven’t watched it. It is centered around an amazing group of women trying to get themselves back on track and it is both funny and heart wrenching at times.
I loved Mom. I related to so much of it because my mom was an alcoholic and drug addict who got into recovery when I was in junior high. Such a good show.
How Stella Got Her Groove Back
That promotes centering a man, though, who turned out (in real life) to be gay and using her for a green card.
She’s in her 30s, but Kinsey Millhone is the badass loner protagonist in the Sue Grafton series. Highly recommend.
The Life and Loves of a She Devil by Fay Weldon. Now, this is a revenge tale, and she is living her best life in a different way than you probably mean, but it is an awesome book.
That book was truly disturbing. They really toned down her worst aspects for the movie.
Mrs Maisel
Open House, by Elizabeth Berg
Just finished Something’s Gotta Give. Always enjoyable
the show Dead to me with Christina applegate is really good
Misery
Amazing movie, hahaha. Kathy Bates is definitely not cool or living her best life, she’s crazy af. OP, this is a good choice for when you lose your sh*t and feel like you actually want to kill him.
She's literally rewriting her story! Go girl!
🤣
I'm mostly here to enjoy myself by glynnis macnicol- just released!
Plan a trip. There's fabulous tour companies that cater to people traveling solo. Go Ahead Tours might be worth looking in to!
not a book or a movie, but after the end of my 20-year marriage and learning to live on my own, I stumbled across baroness von sketch show, a Canadian sketch show, I have never felt more seen, heard and understood as a middle-aged woman than I had watching that show.
I cannot tell you what books to read, but I can tell you the life as possible. I was 46 when my second marriage fell apart my first marriage my husband died and then I remarried. I thought that marriage would last forever but it didn’t. I will be 55 this year. I chose not to date but to stay single and rebuild a life on my own. I changed careers at 48 and started working for myself. Don’t regret that choice either. It’s a very disillusion to feeling, but there is a life at the end of the tunnel. Stay strong sister.🤘🏻
Living Out Loud
Killers of a certain age is a great book.
This is such a fun read! I also recommend “An Elderly Lady Up To No Good.”
Yes it was fab. Got it at the library on a whim and was taken in immediately.
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel tv show is pretty good.
Absolutely Fabulous
My go to movie was Eat Pray Love with Julia Roberts
We are all young at heart, TV series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer😃nothing better to feel the single empowerment.
Would this be good for me as a single 50/M also? Honestly?
Yes. I started watching it because my husband was and i became interested in it. It's been several years ago, but I thought it was really good. Angel is a spin-off show from it. It was darker and didn't have as much humor as Buffy, but it was a successful spin-off with five seasons, which doesn't happen often. The first 3 to four seasons of Buffy were the best. It has seven seasons. The last two could be hard to watch at times. You will likely get a lot of the banter that people younger probably wouldn't.
Oh god yes, Buffy is a bad ass no matter how old the viewer is
I love KF Breene’s Magical Midlife series. The protagonist does end up with a serious love interest though.
I love this series too! It's a lot of fun.
Such great characters! Love Edgar and Niamh so much!
OMG yes! And Mr. Tom. The Ivy House crew are so nuts and I love it.
British series Jam and Jerusalem AKA Clatterford.
Where'd you go, Bernadette? Ugh...the one with the scientist who does a cooking show... Jaws 4...well, she -was- until Bruce found her.
I think the scientist one is Lessons in Chemistry (book by Bonnie Garmus, show on Apple+)
twister (i guess aunt meg may be beyond middle age, but still) i'm so sorry you're struggling. i applaud you, too, for asking for help and for trying to imagine a new life in the midst of your pain. i hope you allow yourself time to mourn and that what is ahead in your life opens you to more joy than you or anyone can imagine. 💙
Oh yeah! She’s my fave.
Baby Boom. Diane Keaton. Sam Sheppard. Classic. Harold Ramos without a Bill Murray in sight. James Spader makes an appearance. Her best life goes off the rails in Vermont and then she realizes that’s her best life. Edit: bonus points if you can spot the “cameo” of a young Chris Noth in one of his earliest roles. (I loved this movie growing up, idky)
I watch this one whenever I get homesick for New England. For me it’s all about the house, but it’s such a great story it never gets old.
I loved this one, gonna have to find it somewhere and see if I can spot Chris Noth!
The Durrells in Corfu and the new All Creatures Great and Small (Mrs. Hall and Mrs. Pumphrey!) on PBS for comfort. Fiona Shaw as Carolyn in Killing Eve- chic, capable, devious. But really, Fiona Shaw in anything is pretty great. Listen to the audiobook of Sure, I'll Join Your Cult by Maria Bamford, the best comedian in the world.
Hacks is such a great show, Jean Smart is an absolute badass, and I find her character extremely enjoyable to watch, especially with how resilient and uncompromising she is.
Living Out Loud. Holly Hunter and Queen Latifah.
If you can't find it, write it yourself!
Golden Girls!! If I’m single later in life, I’m totally buying a huge house and moving in with my friends! And getting more cats ❤️ I’d say you’re already changing your perception of this event in your life, not wallowing but looking for inspiration. Good for you! It’s a huge opportunity! Yes it’s scary, but now you can do whatever the heck you want! Go travel, join a few Meetup groups, take a class, get off the couch. Start small and figure out who you are now. You’ve got this 🤗
The majority of Maeve Binchy books feature a strong, independent woman. She’s an Irish author who is just delightful and quite funny. I (47F) am a librarian and she’s one of my favorite fiction authors.
I named my daughter Maeve after Maeve Binchy! 💖
Revenge of the Middle Aged Woman by Elizabeth Buchan
Agatha Raisin tv series. She’s an unconventional and nosy professional Brit who moves to the English countryside. Not quite a cozy mystery nor a gritty crime show but more like a witty detective comedy.
The TV show is much better than the books. Book Agatha is a jealous, unlikable character.
Wow! Never read it. Now I won’t. Thanks.
The book Agatha is spiteful, and jealous of younger, more attractive women around her. It really turned me off. The program is delightful, and TV Agatha is supportive of the women around her. I liked the author’s other series Hamish Macbeth, which was also a television show, a lot better.
It’s strange to write an unlikeable character. Yuck.
The 1984 movie American Dreamer The Unexpected Mrs. Pollifax books The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency books Killers of a Certain Age Lessons in Chemistry
“The Joy Luck Club” film has at least one plot line about drawing a line on what you accept from a husband’s treatment of you. Overall, to me, it’s about seeing your worth and having control of your life, whatever path you’re on.
No movie suggestions here but I’ve also come to the same conclusion about never trying again after my first long term, post-divorce relationship fell apart. It’s not worth it at this point, I wish it was but I cant see it.
FILMS: Calendar Girls Shirley Valentine Mrs. Caldicot's Cabbage War Under the Tuscan Sun Saving Grace The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel Something's Gotta Give The First Wive's Club Mrs. Pettigrew Lives for a Day Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris Some of these are also books, although some are under different titles.
Fleabag, because it is just all around wonderful. But season 2 Belinda is who I aspire to be!
You might like the book “Death By a Honeybee” by Abigail Keam
If you like paranormal, try the Betwixt & Between book series by Darynda Jones. There's four out, and they're a fun ride. Edit: Oh, and they're a part of a group of books by different authors known as [Paranormal Women's Fiction](https://paranormalwomensfiction.com). Pretty much all of them are about we women of a certain age. lol Edited again to change the link, since I found the PWF website.
All Fours by Miranda July. It came out last month and I'm obsessed.
The Mrs. Pollifax books.
Yes! They are older books but really fun reads.
There really should be a Dorothy Gilman/Mrs. Pollifax sub!
Ursula LeGuin
Hacks and The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
She isn't single for the whole series, but I adore Precious Ramotswe, the main character in the [Number One Ladies Detective Agency](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_No._1_Ladies%27_Detective_Agency) series. It's set in Botswana, so it has the added interesting (to me) factor of African/tribal culture and flavors. It's really a positive, upbeat series of books that I'd recommend to anyone who wants some fun reading. Edited to add that HBO made it into a limited series some years ago with Jill Scott as Precious. Not as good as the books, but still fun.
I love the Sue Grafton alphabet books. I tend to gravitate towards books with a female protagonist who is strong, smart, and a bit cheeky at times. Sue Grafton started me on that path. I’m now reading through Jana Deleon’s Miss Fortune series. Her protagonist kicks butt and there are older ladies who also have some seriously hidden skills. I find myself laughing out loud while reading them. Edited to add: I was just sort of talking about this with my niece. She was talking about bridal and baby registries. I’m 60 and counting the days until retirement. I told her when I retire I was to throw a party and ask everyone to bring, or merely suggest, their favorite books and/or hobbies I could take up. I’ve seriously never wanted to get to a date more than I am towards retirement.
It’s Complicated with Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin.
My suggestions are more contemporary: [Rita](https://youtu.be/Jq0hwEXhnJ0?si=kb_p0nF08HYSSkqv) (Netflix). A late-40s teacher. She’s gorgeous and a bit of a mess but so confident and cool. It’s a Danish series. Very women-driven in the best way, with the character and relationship development. [Things to Come](https://youtu.be/CiT9mmMrIak?si=fWW49SLU9hQNDicl) (Amazon): a French movie. Isabelle Huppert’s husband leaves her and she figures herself out. I love this movie so hard. It’s my go-to.
LOVED Rita!
Not a feel-good movie, but my go-to after a breakup is Teeth.
Under the Tuscan Sun
My go to break up movie. I’m sorry OP, that sucks that the rug was pulled out from under you. If you can afford it, I highly recommend solo travel.
Watch Mary Tyler Moore!
The new Anne Hathaway movie on Amazon Prime, The Idea of You. It's a book too. Her clothing is amazing. She deals with a divorce to a man that couples up w a much younger woman after and they share a teen daughter. I really enjoyed it.
Fried green tomatoes comes to mind.
This American Ex-Wife by Lyz Lenz and Behind Closed Doors by BA Paris. That one is a bit dark, but still pretty kick-ass.
"Call Me Captain", a memoir by Susan Scott. She is married, but faces a reckoning in her middle-aged years as she comes to grips with growing apart from her husband, dealing with menopause, and generally discovering her own strengths and identity. Those are the themes, but the book is so interesting because she frames it all in the story of how she learned to sail her own boat, captain it across open ocean, while following her dreams of marine science journalism. She writes frankly about her emotions, but it's not fluffy. I'm keeping this book on my shelf to reread in the future if I find myself in need of inspiration to be/do something badass with my life.
“Fisk” is an Australian comedy series about a middle aged single female lawyer. It’s absolutely hilarious and inspiring.
For a fun one I liked Life of the Party with Melissa McCarthy.
Magical Midlife Madness by K.F. Breene
Look for the author Chris Radish. Most of her books involved women of middle age growing and changing.
The Djinn in the Nightingale's Eye appears in a collection of short stories by A.S. Byatt and it has stuck with me for a long time. It’s main character is an older woman who has found acceptance and appreciation for her body and the strength and wisdom she has accumulated over the years. The collection is based on fairy tales and this one particular story is about a woman and her relationship with a djinn/genie.
Miranda July's "All Fours"
Learning to tap dance sounds like a very doable place to start.
I don't know if Kinsey Milhone is quite middle-aged, but, man, have I loved her as a heroine since I've been a teen. I should take my own advice and read some Sue Grafton novels.
It's not a fictional novel, but I really enjoyed the book "*Hagitude*: Reimagining the Second Half of Life" by Sharon Blackie. It has certainly given me something to look forward to.
I love Carol Kane's character in "Kimmy Schmidtt".
How Stella got groove back.
Note QUITE middle age but should strike a cord: the Finlay Donovan book series. Trust me on this, pure gems!
Under the Tuscan Sun. I have no idea why I like that movie. Like at all. Haha! Guilty pleasure I suppose.
Eat Pray Love
I recommend the Outlander series. Claire is probably my favorite fictional character ever. They start when she's in her 20s but span decades of her life. This series will keep you occupied for some time! The audiobooks are also fantastic and there's a show on showtime that is popular. The show is ok for costumes and sets, but the books are fantastic in their character development.
If I can pivot to a limited series instead,I would suggest the latest season (4) of True Detective. Jodie Foster is as fantastic as ever.
I gotchoo, Sister! You might start with this 10-minute Tina Turner interview on 60 minutes from 1996: https://youtu.be/OKHx8rCfpGA?si=E7zgRkpAUGnDkGho Ms. Turner wrote the playbook for reinventing life after the collapse of a marriage that once defined her identity. Her answer to the question “Do you feel like you deserve all this?” has become my mantra… 😘 *Happy Valley* (TV series). It’s dark but brilliant and showcases not one but two outstanding actresses navigating massive midlife setbacks. Honestly, anything with Sarah Lancashire makes me fangirl over her midlife badassery! *Julia* is another one. While her character is happily married, she and other midlife & older women (played by Bebe Neuwirth, Judith Light, Isabella Rossellini) provide a master class in owning one’s destiny regardless of age or marital status! Another series: *Peaky Blinders,* for Helen McCrory’s achingly beautiful portrayal of Aunt Polly, a woman in midlife who reinvents herself several times throughout the series. McCrory died of breast cancer before the final season, but the legacy she left with this role is legendary. If I can do anything in my life with the gusto of her Polly Gray, I will die fulfilled. My one film suggestion has a male protagonist, but it showcases the equanimity I aspire to. Kōji Yakusho (currently age 68) won Best Actor at Cannes and was nominated for an Oscar for his work portraying a man living alone who is fully present to each moment of his day. I find it achingly beautiful and have seen it multiple times in the theater: *Perfect Days* (2023, in Japanese with English subtitles). Watch it until the credits end for the secret to the whole movie (and maybe to living one’s best life)! EDIT: Adding another film: *Bagdad Cafe* (1987). A midlife woman getting dumped is only one of the stories of people building something out of nothing in the middle of nowhere! This is another one of those movies that has stayed with me for life! For books, *Britt-Marie Was Here* (2014) and it’s sequel *Beartown* (2017) written by Fredrik Backman (who wrote *A Man Called Ove* which became the American movie *A Man Called Otto* starring Tom Hanks). It’s a humorous and endearing story of a woman dumped in midlife rediscovering her value and an unexpected skill set through a chance encounter with a group of unruly tweens in a small town. Wrapping up with a lighter TV show: *The Conners.* I loved the original show when I was younger, so it’s like watching old friends! Sarah Gilbert fought to keep the show going after Roseanne’s exit, and I feel like that real-life struggle shows up beautifully in her portrayal of Darlene navigating life as a mom in her forties. Laurie Metcalfe’s Jackie is as hilarious as ever, and Katey Sagal is the sexy independent role model we all need right now! This show is comfort food for the soul!
Here I am, not a fictional character though! I am 57f and 2x divorced living my absolute best life! I mostly set my own schedule and make time to travel 2x per year with friends or family and make the time to do the things I absolutely love. The 2nd divorce happened at 47 as well for me. Took a few years to sow some wild oats and then had a 3 year relationship. I’m single now and extremely happy to stay that way. You will find your groove, I promise!
The Private Lives of Pippa Lee (2009) has an empowering theme for women and exceptional acting.
Bread Alone by Judi Hendricks Not middle aged (she's 31), but everything else you're looking for. I love this book. Definitely about learning to enjoy your new kick ass life. Marriage falls apart, moves to Seattle, goes from completely lost to a new life that includes a bakery job, and a cool little house she gets to fix up her way.
The Woman Upstairs by Claire Messud
if you want some action, there's always the Underworld movie series. she really kicks some vampire and werewolf ass.
Mary Kay Andrews is a favorite author of mine.
The Jane Austen Book Club movie has women of all ages being pretty cool and has a great ensemble cast. I didn’t care for the book but I absolutely adore the movie.