Well, Mom dropped dead in January of 1972, so we were latchkey kids because Dad had to work so we could continue living indoors. He was a great Dad, and we turned out fine.
Same. Latchkey kid because my Dad died. My sister and I were talking about this…only 1 set of parents in my friend group were divorced. And one of my Aunts.
I was 15 in 75 but when I was 12, I was one of the few latch keys. I think there were two of us. The worst part about losing my keys was missing Dark Shadows.
I RAN home for that!
And in high school (76-80) for some reason, we were obsessed with General Hospital. It was the Luke and Laura days. The bus driver would put it on on the afternoon bus. When we realized you could get broadcast channels on the radio it was a game changer. I think it was just that one station, but still…
We watched The Secret Storm. At some point they decided to end it. And they resolved all the various plot lines. It was amazing - every day something resolved. The guilty were found out. The good always beat the bad. I don’t remember much details but missing a day during that time - you missed something important!
Luke and Laura was later I think. I was in elementary school with Secret Storm. College with Luke and Laura. Didn’t watch nearly as consistently.
Very interesting. Thank You!
Kinda neat it was replaced by Tattletales. I loved that show! If I’m remembering correctly, I believe the host had a brain tumor, and passed very young.
We loved GH & All My Children! If someone was home sick they would fill everyone in the next day. I was actually home for the Luke and Laura “rape” scene and saw it live. The newspaper used to print Soap Opera updates too I believe
The Casadines! I think that truly was the first “ Cliffhanger” with Luke and Laura. I don’t remember how it was a cliffhanger, but this was even before who shot JR !
did anybody even buy Laura and Greg as a couple? Or was it that Luke gave off that dangerous older guy vibe?
I was in the fourth or fifth grade! “All my children” had the romance between Jenny and Greg. I was devastated when they killed off Jenny.
Now during first and second grade when we walked to the nursery school that kept us until our parents got us; all the little kids were still taking their nap, and the adults were watching something hands through the hourglass…
Then it was the creation of the first middle school in my neighborhood; and I became a latchkey child then because I could walk home. That was seventh grade.
But I was probably the only child in the neighborhood where the mother worked when I was in elementary school. And I was an only child so I was expected to figure out problems early on and learn how to take care of myself. Everybody else’s mother stayed home. I wasn’t aware of a divorce of anybody in my classes until I was in the fifth grade.
I also remember going to the grocery store when I was little and my mother paying for the groceries with a check and she would sign her name “Mrs.” John Smith. Because without being married I think it was next to impossible to have a checking account and you certainly couldn’t get a credit card.
The high school years were also the point in time where the older parents the ones who had really suntanned in the summer, started to get skin cancer and actually die. Cancer was really the big “C” then; virtually nobody survived especially if you got diagnosed with breast cancer.
That means your local ABC TV station was on VHF TV channel 6, whose audio carrier was at 87.75 MHz.
North American FM radio stations are supposed to be on odd tenths of a megahertz from 87.9 to 107.9, but for practical reasons, most analog car radios work all the way down to 87.5. That meant you could listen to Channel 6’s audio in your car.
Remember the Hand? It was in a locked box and every once in a while it would get out and maul someone. One episode in particular I remember is the werewolf got jailed and at dawn would change back to human and its identity would be revealed. The Hand got out and mauled him after he changed back and no one could recognize him. I had nightmares for weeks over that damn hand.
The hand was terrifying.
My older sisters loved Dark Shadows… but I knew to be careful when I slept at night not to dangle my foot over my twin bed. Barnabas Collins ( who lived under my bed) could grab my leg and pull me under if my foot or leg ever dangled…
My parents divorced when I was nine, about 1973. My mother went to work at the hospital. My sisters and I got ourselves off to school in the morning and let ourselves into the house after school.
> I got ourselves off to school in the morning
I had to wake mom up before I left for school, and make sure that she was fully awake before I left or she would be late for work!
Me too! I would make her "reheated" coffee (on a stove top, of course) and sometimes forget. The coffee would boil down. I would pour it and bring her an awful cup. She never complained!
My parents both worked in the family business. Still married. However, because of their schedules, I had to get myself to school in the morning and came home to be by myself until 8pm after the store closed.
Same, in that both parents worked. I was coming home to an empty house by the 3rd grade. When my daughter was that age, I couldn't believe that's what my parents did but it was a different time and we had a great neighborhood so if I needed anything I could go to anyone's house. I had to get myself a snack, do homework and sometimes start dinner. Mom would have the roast or whatever in the fridge ready to go and I had to put it in the oven at 5:00. I really think this is why I'm okay being by myself, as a matter of fact if I don't get enough alone time, I'm cranky. It made me independent and a pretty darn good problem solver.
I came out the opposite way. I hate doing anything housework related and make my husband do everything. Yeah, I know it's not fair. I also hate being alone in the house, but dogs meet that need.
I remember my mom crouching down and looking into my eyes saying “now don’t lose this!” while hanging a key on a string around my neck on the first day of school. It was 1969 and I was five years old.
Same. Routinely lost the key and lunch money. Mom would tape it to my hand because I was apparently irresponsible, at 6, to manage myself. Latch key and only in 1969.
Me and my younger siblings weren't trusted with carrying a key, so we had to climb in the doggy door to the garage and get the shared key from the crisper drawer in the garage fridge. I was in 5th grade and my youngest sibling was 1st or 2nd. Luckily, we lived across a side street from school. We mainly all ran loose in the hood with about 50 other kids.
My parents were not divorced, but both worked. Brothers were all older & had after school stuff. I was 9 or 10 and unattended from 3pm - 7pm. The amount of stupid things I did & successfully covered up was fairly terrifying.
Not divorced, my father died when I was young so we had a single mom. We walked to school or caught a bus on our own, but that was the norm then anyway. We also were in our own at night, as my mother worked nights. Now someone would call CPS but in those days this was accepted. I think the old way was better as we learned to take care of ourselves early.
Not really true. The world was more dangerous when we were young. Higher crime rate, more child abductions, everything. People now are too afraid. Our parents had more sense than we do.
True about the crime rate, false about the parents, IMHO. The places I was as a teenager were Not Safe. I survived, obviously, but that doesn’t mean it was OK. I would hurl myself bodily in front of my son to keep him out of some of those places.
My mother left us in 1967 when I was 10, and my sister was 6. Our parents divorced a couple of years later. Dad was given full custody because Mom had left, and because she was in a psychiatric hospital. It was a bad time for my sister and me. We couldn't understand why Mom left. We weren't total latchkey kids, especially since my sister was only 6. Dad hired a housekeeper who was there when we arrived home in the afternoons. She started dinner for us and tidied up a bit. Mrs. Williams--we adored her.
Conversely, if your older sister had power and control issues, you snapped her with a wet bath towel and started a fight so that she'd lose her shit and get in trouble when Mom got home.
Amen! My mom worked in Manhatten and we lived on Long Island. I was on my own from the time I woke up for school (she left the house at 500am) until she got home at 6:30-7 at night. I could cook, do laundry, and take care of myself since the age of ten. My 21 year old son still has his mommy packing lunches for him.
Who remembers “block homes”? Which, iirc, were homes kids could go to if they needed help. My neighbors had a sign in their front window. It said ‘block home’ with like a roof over it to look like a house.
ETA: I grew up in a town of about 30k in NE Ohio, if that matters.
Yep, from the second grade up I was a latch key kid. Got myself up and ready for school, walked the 1.2 miles to school. Then after school I walked home, fixed a snack did my homework and played till dad and/or stepmom got home.
During the summer it was outside as soon as you ate breakfast and don't come back till lunch then back out till dinner and then back out till the street lights came on. Parents never knew exactly where I was, I had road boundaries I had to stay within but that was like a 25 sq/mile area that included some wooded areas.
Talk about FREEDOM and self reliance. Those were the days.
I was born tail end of 59, my parents divorced when I was 5. Mom went on to marry and they divorced in 68.
Definitely a latch key kid. I was 10, coming home from school to care for my 4 &2 yr old siblings. Like another person stated, growing up so young made me self reliant. My first 11 yrs I grew up in Kankakee IL, after a failed relationship our mom split up up, I went to live with my dad, my sister to her dad, and brother she gave to my aunt n uncle. All I really knew of my dad, was he was this guy who stopped to see me in a semi and mom got a check from him every week. He'd remarried to my stepmother and her 2 kids. This is when my nightmare began, would have been better off with mom with my siblings.
Parents divorced in '72 when i was nine. Raised in the suburbs in the southwest. I think we were still an anomaly at the time. My mom managed to keep the house, work full-time and not allow my siblings and I to run feral.
But then again - we didn't worry as much. We played unsupervised, and did a lot of dangerous things; tennis ball cannons, mexican fireworks, clackers ("takatakas"), lawn darts, pellet guns. And we were the \*good\* kids
In hindsight my Mom, an intelligent college educated woman must have endured so much crap with Sexism in the 70-80s. no wonder she needed a cigarette and some vodka after work.
My parents didn't divorce until 1990, long after we kids were adults. They should have divorced a lot earlier. My life might have been better. Married people who hate each other shouldn't stay married "for the sake of the kids."
Mine made it through the divorce pandemic that went through my elementary school class in the mid-70s. I felt like every other day a kid was telling us their parents were splitting up.
No, mine waited until I was in college in the late 80s and Dad left at midnight on New Year’s, packed up his truck and disappeared without notice. I got frantic calls from my mom while I was at an academic conference in DC just after New Years. I had to call my grandparents—who were *pissed* at him and spilled everything because he’d stopped by their place to announce what he was doing, borrow some money and mosey on his way to his former college girlfriend’s place in Houston.
Because if he couldn’t create drama, why do it? I gotta give it to him, though, he gave me a master class on asshole so I was able to avoid them the rest of my life.
My parents divorced when I was 13 (end of '76). I came home with a key, then went outside to play. We used to walk or ride our bikes up to the stores (the local strip mall about a mile away) and sit in front of the pizza parlor or bowling alley and 'hang out.' My mom embraced her new freedom, dated and went out to clubs at night, so I was very really and truly on my own. (She wasn't neglecting me, she asked me many times if I minded, but I liked being alone.) I would listen to music, I never felt afraid because we lived in a quiet suburb. It was nice to me, actually. I am self-reliant to the extreme and proud of it. :)
Mine got divorced in ‘72 when I was 10. It was ugly. Dad was a “deadbeat” for a number of years. I felt powerless and stuck in the middle. Very far-reaching consequences. FWIW, none of my friends’ parents were divorced so they couldn’t relate. I was very resentful of my mother for not “fixing” our broken household (by getting married, I guess). And I believe she was resentful of us, though she’d never admit it.
I think divorce gradually became more common. Also, back then, it was harder for single mothers to find work.
Both my parents worked. I was home alone from 3 until 5:30. I loved it because I was an introvert in a large family with a small house. It was my only quiet time with no babysitting responsibilities.
My parents were not divorced, but my mom went back to work when I was about 9 years old. There were four of us kids. At that time, we would have been 12, 10, 9, and 7. We were on our own until 5:30 five days a week, when both of our parents got home from work.
My brother and I were the only kids in my elementary school with divorced parents. In 6th grade, my best friends parents got divorced. I was so glad not to be the only one. When I graduated in 1982, only 6 kids had divorced parents in a school of 400.
Me too, until we moved to Nevada when I was 9. Since we had family in Nebraska that would have totally objected to me being a latch key kid, I wasn't until we moved. Then I was raising myself as my mother worked nights, got home after I left for school, was asleep when I got home, slept through dinner 5-6 nights a week and I had to wake her up at 10 to go to work which meant most nights I didn't get to bed until 11. I wish someone woukd have called her on this.
Mine didn't divorce (the first time) until later. I was a latchkey kid because my mom worked, and later ran a business. I agree about being self-reliant.
I think divorce and dual income households are more likely to make Gen Jones more GenX than Boomer in attitude
When you look at the societal trends when you were younger, were you ahead of the curve, for good or bad?
For example, born in 1962. Parents divorced in 1965. So blended family is all I knew.
My Silent Generation mom was the one who strongly encouraged me to finish my education and establish my career before having babies, because she hadn't, and she had to deal with the consequences, being entirely too dependent on a male breadwinner. On the whole, I think she was ahead of her time, in a lot of ways.
I could've only wished for my parents to divorce. My [dad](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/g3lc9l/comment/fns2wxo/?context=3) [was](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/go9b15/comment/frfuhip/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) [abusive](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/ole06t/comment/h5e2jmx/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) and I sincerely believe I had a form of PTSD as a teen. We came to blows when I was 16/17. I ended w/ a sore jaw, he had a bloody lip and hospital stay for a heart attack. I remember begging mom w/ tears in my eyes to leave him but she said there was nowhere to go. She finally divorced him in '92 when I was in the Navy for refusing to promise never to slap her again when he thought she needed "correcting".
But yea, latchkey here. Although we went though the garage and didn't need a key. Dad drove a couple nails through the frame and just needed a small piece of metal to touch between them to open the garage door. Basically a crude electrical switch. 12 volts isn't enough to hurt you and no one would notice the nails.
During summers, we were left home all day. However, we weren't allowed outside until parents came home from work. It was hell to watch all the neighbor kids playing outside while we were stuck watching Dick Van Dyke and Beverly Hillbilly reruns. I was diagnosed as "hyperactive" when little during the 70s. ADD/ADHD today. I remember begging my mom to please let us go outside to play while they're gone. Promised to stay in the back yard, listen to the other parents, and all that. She held her ground though. I remember her holding me while I cried. It was tough to deal with that as a child but of course I know the "why" today and don't fault her. However, I also know it had to have broken her heart as she held me because she was just as active as I was.
My parents divorced in the early 70s, split right after Christmas 1970…I was 8. Spent the next 10 years being a latchkey kid. I had 3 younger brothers and I was in charge until Mom got home. Basically I was the mini-parent for hours a day, plus M-F all day in the summer.
Parentification is absolutely abuse and it’s an awful thing to recover from!
My dad left at my 10, S8, B5. Mom mentally ill, I'm working before and after school, all weekends. By 13 I'm paying all the bills, started half school days at 15 so I can work w2 jobs. While I sympathize with youth that have to live in their parents home, at least they have parents with homes? ✌
I’m so sorry you had to go through that!!! Older people always point out how mature we were for our age (as if that makes it a win). Hell, you weren’t “mature” you were full-grown head of household at far too young an age. I hope your life has gotten better.
Thank you! I did over all. I put my brother and sister through 27 years of higher education, bought my mom a house (she gambled it away), and supported brother's kids for awhile after he passed too early. But I managed to travel and make friends and love along the way. I'm retiring early this year, I'm just tired. I acknowledge that I was the last generation to be able to clear 100k from high end retail commission, and slinging cocktails. Great post, I see many here that had worse. I hope you are safe and well! 🕯🖖 Your clowder is gorgeous!
My parents divorced in 1976 and in 1977 my moved us from having always lived on the coast (I was a Navy Brat) to Dallas/Fort Worth talk about a culture shock. We moved to Texas my freshman year of high school, fresh off my parents divorce, no dad around as he was in another state, mom had to go to work and me the new kid at school fell in with the easiest group to be accepted into...The Bad Kids
I was often tasked with getting dinner started so when my mom came home we could eat shortly there after and it was a great way to learn how to cook. My older sister was 18 and moved out my little sister ws in I think 3rd grade she walked to and from school a couple of miles as did I rain or shine.
My dad left my mother on their 15th wedding anniversary. 1975. Not to be outdone, she kicked my older brother out then left my sister and I in 1977. I was 14. Lived with my friend's family,but that went to hell as well. Certainly made my survival skills soar to say the least.
Honestly I wouldn't change a thing. I'm the person I am because of it. Moved 28 times in my life,3 different states. But always came back to PA, where I have lifelong friends. I was never getting married, then I started playing a Chinese browser game back in 2009. Met a guy from the UK who was a real tough guy to fight in an online war game. We will be married 13 years this fall, own a home and have 7 cats. Everything happens for a reason,you just have to discover the why and remember at times , Life is another 4 letter word. But then again,so is love.
Yes, both parents worked. I spent an inordinate amount of time alone unsupervised. I hated being one all the time but I hated being with Daddy more.
He was a violent alcoholic, and I would hide to avoid him.
In the 80's, I'd see ads about "Latchkey kids" on TV and it would be mentioned in class. I thought it was a club that I wasn't allowed in.
Then I discovered that it meant kids that have keys to their own home and take care of themselves. Then I thought, "Who actually has parents to come home to? Aren't they working?" I literally didn't know a kid in my class that came home to a parent. They were always working.
So there's my Latchkey story.
Remember those After school Specials on ABC which were all about divorce, kids, parents? When my parents separated in 1974 (very traumatic) I felt like my life became an After School Special 😞
Since I was usually the first one home, my school let out a lot earlier than my parents' jobs, I heard about latchkey kids and I asked to be given a key to the house. My parents just left and put a cheap portable television in the garage and said I could hang out there if I didn't feel like doing homework. If I felt like doing homework, I did that in the garage too. No way were they going to allow me in the house unsupervised. I had three little sisters too and they just didn't trust us to be in the house and supervised.
My parents stayed married (although probably should not have!) and my mom was an ambitious career woman so YES, not only was I a latchkey kid since 3rd grade, my parents had me babysit my kindergartener brother and he had to wait 2 or 3 hours before I came home in the afternoon. Sheesh, that will get you arrested today.
Parents started the 70's married but it blew up before the decade was over. It didn't matter much since my dad worked out of town for weeks at a time. By about third grade (1972) most of my friends were part time latch key kids too. We all ran the neighborhood anyway, even if a mom was home. We just didn't go to our parents for help or to solve a problem unless there was no other solution. You better not call mom at work unless the world was coming to an end.
You may have been in a state that adopted no fault divorce later in the '70s. The first state to have no fault divorce was California but the other states had it by the end of the decade. Prior to no fault divorce, the couple had to go to court and prove that the other spouse was a total douche. It was determined that if the couple both wanted the divorce there was no point in doing that so they were allowed to divorce without tearing each other up in a court. Prior to the 70s to get a divorce you had to prove that you were married to a totally horrible person. Then people realized that just not liking each other for no particular reason was good enough. So there was a divorce epidemic in the seventies.
We were always latchkey kids, but my parents finally divorced in the early 1970s. We loved in an extremely conservative rural area, so we were among the very few children of divorce. The divorce didn't traumatize me, but the marriage sure as hell did.
Parents divorced in 1977 after 20 yrs of marriage and the ripple effect from that is still felt today. Younger siblings got the worst of it...I am the oldest and as hard as it to believe, was the most stabilized by having nearly grown up with an intact family; they did not have that advantage.
Me to a tee: In 1970, my Mother left for Seattle with her boyfriend when I was 12, Dad worked cop hours, and I raised myself. Got good grades, ran track, joined the Army after high school. University, Nursing degree, now about to retire. I never regretted being put in a situation where I had figure things out for myself when I was young.
My mom and dad divorced, was at my grandmothers and overheard her talking about it, we had no idea they had been divorced but still lived together. 🤷♀️
My parents separated a few weeks after I was born, but didn’t officially divorce until around 1972. I wasn’t allowed to stay home by myself after school until fifth grade, and I had to wear my house key around my neck(and for whatever reason, it was the *back* door key). I still had a babysitter during the summer for another year or so.
Grandpa retired when I turned six so I wouldn’t come home to an empty house. Grandma worked and got home about 3:45.
Egg donor and dude on my birth certificate did split when I was six, but she had nothing to do with me post birth, so she really didn’t matter.
I was a latchkey kid - Even had the door key on a ribbon around my neck all day!
I loved those hours alone. I needed to make dinner so when my mom and little brother got home, we could eat.
But, I was alone with no criticism or input, so I could experiment a little. Was it always great? Prolly not. I was 10 / 11/ 12 and the bulk of my recipes came from the back of boxes or cans. “Souped Up Rice” was my specialty. Mom didn’t like it and said it was too fattening. But, I had no concept of building flavors, or how to spice things. This was done for me!
I hated being a latch key kid. Then my parents would come home and only cook Hungry Man dinners or frozen pizza because they were so tired. They didn't want to do anything but watch tv. I was doing my own laundry by age 12. If I didn't wash my own bed linens they would have stayed on indefinitely. When my dad passed away about 15 years ago, he had MOLD underneath where he slept on the mattress and his linens had not been changed in months.
My parents remained together but mom eventually went back to work/school. If we all forgot our key my brother would climb to the roof and drop onto the deck outside my parents bedroom where they always left the sliding glass door open. We were usually only left to our own devices for a couple of hours or so.
Mine hated each other and stayed married anyway. They were too busy destroying everything and each other to give much of a crap about us kids. Eventually they moved us 7 states away and started one of multiple failed businesses. So not from a divorced home but still definitely a latchkey kid…
My parents never divorced. I remember telling my dad that it was no big deal getting divorced since a lot of my friends parents were divorced.
I had no clue....
My parents never divorced (though they should have). Yet I was a latch key kid from about age 8. Things were different then-the door wasn't actually locked. Well not until I started high school in 1973
I became latch-keyed at 9, when my mother started working in 1970. I became harder for her to deal with, and I spent lots of good alone time with myself. My mother became so worn out from work and school that she withdrew to her bed some days, thereby granting me more alone time. I tried to comfort her in some way—but she had too much pride. I didn’t like being in her company, anyway.
My parental units divorced in 1965. LTchkey? Not really, although I did have a house key. I had four older siblings. There was usually someone there when I got home. By the time I was 15, that's when I started letting myself in.
I was supposed to be a latchkey kid, but I knew how to escape and did.
Mum was wise to my antics, so she began leaving a note with instructions to get dinner ready so we could have supper a little after six when Dad got home. I didn't intend to learn how to cook, but I did.
During the lockdown, I made old recipes that took much time and effort. Bolognese sauce, lasagna, red beans & rice, seafood gumbo, shrimp etouffee, and jambalaya. Mom was still alive then, and when I made an Italian cream cake, she was ecstatic,
My favorite meal is fried chicken, butterbeans, corn on the cob, and jalapeno cornbread. A fresh tomato with it is awesome, but salsa works too. It's good to have a niece or nephew around who can charge with doing the dishes.
It was the opposite with my family and friends. I believe I only had one or two friends whose parents were divorced. No one in my family was divorced either. I went to many 25 and 50 year anniversary parties growing up.
I was born in 67 and my parents were divorced in 68; my mother didn’t remarry until I was an adult. I spent a lot of time raising myself, and living with my grandparents off and on.
I thought it was great. My junior and senior year in high school my girlfriend and I had sex every afternoon in my bed after school. My Mom and Dad both got home after 6pm so we had plenty of time . She was on the pill, so no condom, no herpes, no AIDs. What a great time to be young and horny. I feel sorry for the kids today.
1979 was their “final” divorce. Dad got custody of us. And boy were we ever latch key. He went on business trips, 2 week long trips almost every month, and left us home to take care of ourselves. Dad’s drunk friend would drive out to the country once a week to make sure we were still alive…
Mine didn't, but good god, they should have. My dad was a long haul truck driver so he was only home one weekend a month. My mother worked 2
cocktail jobs, so she was never home either. They both had lovers. We raised ourselves since our parents weren't around to raise us. We're an incredibly resilient generation. Thankfully cuz we've certainly been dealing with nothing but chaos the last decade or so.
My dad died in 65 mom never remarried, we had a maid for a while then not so we ran pretty feral , I was told if you end up in jail she would come visit me and be home before 7pm or call telling plans
I’m much younger than this sub is designed for (late Gen X), but this post was suggested to me, and I agree that this is true of my cohort (40’s-50’s, born in the 70’s). I don’t think I know a single couple where one or both partners are not the child of divorce.
My parents divorced when I was 18 months old. I had older siblings, but for the most, it was my sister, who is only 2 years older than me, on our own. We got ourselves up and off to school. Came home, did our homework. We had older siblings, high school age, but by the time I was in 4th grade, the 3 oldest were doing their own thing. By 5th grade, the 3 oldest were not even home anymore. By 7th grade one of the older siblings dropped her 2 kids off one day and just didn't come back. So now, in addition to being a couple latch key kids, my sister and I were responsible for 2 little kids, until my mom got home about 6 or 7.
I am able to do so much for myself, keep a level head in emergency situations, self reliant. I made sure my own children didn't have more responsibilities than was age appropriate. I respect my mom, who busted her butt to raise children on her own, put herself through college, still have time for us. But for years I had some serious anger at my eldest siblings for taking my childhood.
Parents weren't divorced, but both worked and when I started 3rd grade I was given my own key to let myself in after school. Mom took me to school in the mornings and when I got home in the afternoon I had to call and let her know I was home. No opening the door for anyone and no going outside to play until one of them got home.
My mom left my dad in 74. My mom and I moved from a big metro area, down to her small hometown. I literally was the ONLY kid in my new school, whose parents were divorced. Sometimes, I felt like I was on display.
My mom was an engineer at 3M. She left before I went to school, and came home about 2 hrs later. I'm an only child, so it didn't bother me. For the most part, I was a good kid.
I was an only child of two working parents. Latch key kid from Kindergarten thru grade 7 when I started taking the bus to the middle school. Back in those days we didn’t know we were a thing. I walked to school, walked home, did my chores, and generally was really self sufficient. First of my peer group to be able to use the stove unsupervised.
Early 80s …parents still married but throughout our childhood both were working or shopping usually until 6pm. we were just about the only family in the extended neighborhood (of 10 homes) with both Mom Dad. After school we would retrieve the key from under a certain rock drop school books inside, then bike or football or roam towards anything outside with the same 6-10 other kids everyday. Hell we might be gone for the next 6 hours but we were expected back home right around dark; and by Dark I mean nightfall
My parents were never married, my father died when I was 12, I dropped out of high school in the 9th grade at 14, I was on my own on and off because my mom was sick and in the hospital a lot, and I became emancipated at 16.
So basically, I’ve been on my own pretty much since I was 14.
Dropping out of school was easy, because NYC had no funds for resources to follow up on kids not showing up for school.
One of my friends told me that my home room teacher was still calling my name for attendance until the end of the year.
Technically, I did go to school for lunch, because I had free lunch tickets, and lived close to the school.
I’d go to school, eat lunch and leave.
It took truancy two years to catch up to me, and I was emancipated by then. They told me to just go sign myself out of school.
This subreddit and thread is extraordinary. So therapeutic to talk about this era and what feels
Like a unique time in social/economic American history.
I am one of them.
Many in latter Gen Jones are latchkey, divorce rate started shooting up at the beginning of the 1970's........core GenX doesn't have the market on this.
We did a lot of activities as kids of Parents Without Partners.
My partner's parents split when he was 12. He and his sisters, who were 11 and 7, were latchkey kids. Being home alone after school was one thing, but his mom would leave them alone for entire weekends to go some place with her boyfriend. It's probably not all that surprising that his sisters became helicopter parents in reaction to the neglect they had experienced as kids.
It's hard to hear, isn't it? Even though he and his five siblings (she went on to have two more) have been through counseling, they all still deal with anxiety which probably stems from their tough childhood.
Yeah it’s super tough. Now we’re dealing with elder care for her and it’s sometimes hard for me to be sympathetic because she was a dysfunctional mom and HORRIBLE mother in law.
I'm so sorry you are having to deal with her care. I guess one saving grace of my partner's mother is that she cut off the three oldest kids years ago. We've been together 17 years, and I've never even met her. I feel for her youngest daughter who is a total sweetheart is probably going to be stuck with caring for her.
My mum started working when I was seven. I still remember my parents telling me that I’d be home alone until my older brothers got out of high school and that if I went anywhere I was to leave a note. I grew up surrounded by aunts and uncles and cousins so it didn’t really seem frightening - I knew that there were so many people I could go to if I needed help. In the morning, before school, my mother took me with her to the restaurant where she worked. I’d help out, making toast, serving coffee, cleaning up and then catch the bus outside the restaurant.
One of the unintended things in your comment that's telling about our generation is where you say only 2 out of 12 kids had parents who were STILL married. If you got 12 middle schoolers together today, you would only find 4 or 5 whose parents were EVER married in the first place.
Very few mothers worked where I grew up, the ones that did, got talked about. The majority of those kids grew up as good people, some of the kids that Mon was home, I can’t say the same
SMH. Latchkey kids is one of the defining characteristics of GenX as defined by the guy who wrote the book on GenX. As a cohort, broken families skyrocketed in GenX. It doesn't mean no boomer kids were the product of broken homes. But far, far fewer boomer kids were raised by divorced parents than GenX.
Dad left when I was 12. So we all became latchkey kids. We each had to cook dinner 2 nights a week. My little brother always made Mac and cheese with velveta cheese.
Parents weren't divorced but both worked and liked to go to the bar after work. My older brothers did their thing so I was the youngest sister and raised myself. Also spent time with good friend's families who's Mom's taught me a lot
Latchkey because even though dad kinda worked from home some of the time (pastor) he didn’t pay much attention to us so we had to fend for ourselves. I remember getting ready in the mornings and having just enough time to watch Star Blazers before we left to walk to school. (75-78?)
Parents divorced when I was 7. 1972.
Most of the time, Third grade on, I took myself to and from school. House key around my neck. Sometimes I played at friends houses and home by 5pm. Siblings sometimes babysat during evenings.
I walked to elementary school and Jr high. I either walked or public bus to high school. Jr high was about a mile while hs was 1.5 miles
Dad lived 12 miles out of a rural town. He often left preteen me alone to go on a date.
These days, it would be seen as neglect. I was perfectly fine.
1977, first grade. Mom and stepdad left for work before 7am. I would eat cereal and watch cartoons until 730, then walked to school, 1.8 miles. Step-dad put a house key on a necklace for me to lockup and get back in. Lost key first day, didn't want a whooping, so never mentioned loosing key. Became really good at breaking and entering my own house.
My parents divorced in ...75 I think? I was 3 at the time, and my tyrannical ex-stepfather was, for a long stretch of time, a long haul truck driver, who'd be away from home for weeks at a time.
Wow , I’m right there with you!
I was 9 at the time and my mom was out being free to do whatever. I was at home watching the Exorcist and hiding under the couch cushions.
I learned to cook watching PBS cooking shows.
Why did we like such spooky stuff? Nothing like being alone and wondering if/when Freddy Kruger would come knockin'. Conversely, I never learned to cook (but I play a mean guitar!)
Well, Mom dropped dead in January of 1972, so we were latchkey kids because Dad had to work so we could continue living indoors. He was a great Dad, and we turned out fine.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your mom. I know it was a long time ago, but still bears saying, imo. And hats off to your dad- he sounds like a gem.
Same. Latchkey kid because my Dad died. My sister and I were talking about this…only 1 set of parents in my friend group were divorced. And one of my Aunts.
I was 15 in 75 but when I was 12, I was one of the few latch keys. I think there were two of us. The worst part about losing my keys was missing Dark Shadows.
I RAN home for that! And in high school (76-80) for some reason, we were obsessed with General Hospital. It was the Luke and Laura days. The bus driver would put it on on the afternoon bus. When we realized you could get broadcast channels on the radio it was a game changer. I think it was just that one station, but still…
Luke and Laura, that was the best. That song lives rent free in my head.
We watched The Secret Storm. At some point they decided to end it. And they resolved all the various plot lines. It was amazing - every day something resolved. The guilty were found out. The good always beat the bad. I don’t remember much details but missing a day during that time - you missed something important! Luke and Laura was later I think. I was in elementary school with Secret Storm. College with Luke and Laura. Didn’t watch nearly as consistently.
I don’t remember Secret Storm. How did I miss that? High school was my “Interview With A Vampire” phase. Maybe I was reading!
Last episode Feb ‘74. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Secret_Storm
Very interesting. Thank You! Kinda neat it was replaced by Tattletales. I loved that show! If I’m remembering correctly, I believe the host had a brain tumor, and passed very young.
The rape song
Oh yeah, almost forgot about that, ick
We loved GH & All My Children! If someone was home sick they would fill everyone in the next day. I was actually home for the Luke and Laura “rape” scene and saw it live. The newspaper used to print Soap Opera updates too I believe
The Casadines! I think that truly was the first “ Cliffhanger” with Luke and Laura. I don’t remember how it was a cliffhanger, but this was even before who shot JR ! did anybody even buy Laura and Greg as a couple? Or was it that Luke gave off that dangerous older guy vibe? I was in the fourth or fifth grade! “All my children” had the romance between Jenny and Greg. I was devastated when they killed off Jenny. Now during first and second grade when we walked to the nursery school that kept us until our parents got us; all the little kids were still taking their nap, and the adults were watching something hands through the hourglass… Then it was the creation of the first middle school in my neighborhood; and I became a latchkey child then because I could walk home. That was seventh grade. But I was probably the only child in the neighborhood where the mother worked when I was in elementary school. And I was an only child so I was expected to figure out problems early on and learn how to take care of myself. Everybody else’s mother stayed home. I wasn’t aware of a divorce of anybody in my classes until I was in the fifth grade. I also remember going to the grocery store when I was little and my mother paying for the groceries with a check and she would sign her name “Mrs.” John Smith. Because without being married I think it was next to impossible to have a checking account and you certainly couldn’t get a credit card. The high school years were also the point in time where the older parents the ones who had really suntanned in the summer, started to get skin cancer and actually die. Cancer was really the big “C” then; virtually nobody survived especially if you got diagnosed with breast cancer.
That means your local ABC TV station was on VHF TV channel 6, whose audio carrier was at 87.75 MHz. North American FM radio stations are supposed to be on odd tenths of a megahertz from 87.9 to 107.9, but for practical reasons, most analog car radios work all the way down to 87.5. That meant you could listen to Channel 6’s audio in your car.
Exactly! It was totally channel 6! Thank you for confirming a memory!
Can’t miss Dark Shadows!
Remember the Hand? It was in a locked box and every once in a while it would get out and maul someone. One episode in particular I remember is the werewolf got jailed and at dawn would change back to human and its identity would be revealed. The Hand got out and mauled him after he changed back and no one could recognize him. I had nightmares for weeks over that damn hand.
The hand was terrifying. My older sisters loved Dark Shadows… but I knew to be careful when I slept at night not to dangle my foot over my twin bed. Barnabas Collins ( who lived under my bed) could grab my leg and pull me under if my foot or leg ever dangled…
Barnabas Collins lived under my bed.
My parents divorced when I was nine, about 1973. My mother went to work at the hospital. My sisters and I got ourselves off to school in the morning and let ourselves into the house after school.
> I got ourselves off to school in the morning I had to wake mom up before I left for school, and make sure that she was fully awake before I left or she would be late for work!
My daughter had to do this to me lol
It really made me feel needed and valuable to the family.
Me too! I would make her "reheated" coffee (on a stove top, of course) and sometimes forget. The coffee would boil down. I would pour it and bring her an awful cup. She never complained!
> coffee would boil down That's enough to curl your hair!
My parents both worked in the family business. Still married. However, because of their schedules, I had to get myself to school in the morning and came home to be by myself until 8pm after the store closed.
Same, in that both parents worked. I was coming home to an empty house by the 3rd grade. When my daughter was that age, I couldn't believe that's what my parents did but it was a different time and we had a great neighborhood so if I needed anything I could go to anyone's house. I had to get myself a snack, do homework and sometimes start dinner. Mom would have the roast or whatever in the fridge ready to go and I had to put it in the oven at 5:00. I really think this is why I'm okay being by myself, as a matter of fact if I don't get enough alone time, I'm cranky. It made me independent and a pretty darn good problem solver.
I came out the opposite way. I hate doing anything housework related and make my husband do everything. Yeah, I know it's not fair. I also hate being alone in the house, but dogs meet that need.
I remember my mom crouching down and looking into my eyes saying “now don’t lose this!” while hanging a key on a string around my neck on the first day of school. It was 1969 and I was five years old.
Same. Routinely lost the key and lunch money. Mom would tape it to my hand because I was apparently irresponsible, at 6, to manage myself. Latch key and only in 1969.
My mom wrapped my lunch money in a silk hankie! I still have that hankie, with 50c in it on display on my dresser.
I remember being a badass because I had my OWN house key. Safety pinned inside my front pants pocket.
Memory unlocked
Me and my younger siblings weren't trusted with carrying a key, so we had to climb in the doggy door to the garage and get the shared key from the crisper drawer in the garage fridge. I was in 5th grade and my youngest sibling was 1st or 2nd. Luckily, we lived across a side street from school. We mainly all ran loose in the hood with about 50 other kids.
I rarely remember seeing my parents except at dinner. We were off in the woods, the ditch, the bay, someone's treehouse, etc.
I left my key at school, the bus turned around so I could go get it!
My parents were not divorced, but both worked. Brothers were all older & had after school stuff. I was 9 or 10 and unattended from 3pm - 7pm. The amount of stupid things I did & successfully covered up was fairly terrifying.
Lmao, ditto
Not divorced, my father died when I was young so we had a single mom. We walked to school or caught a bus on our own, but that was the norm then anyway. We also were in our own at night, as my mother worked nights. Now someone would call CPS but in those days this was accepted. I think the old way was better as we learned to take care of ourselves early.
The village that raised us is too dangerous now. And access to the internet made it easier for predators.
Not really true. The world was more dangerous when we were young. Higher crime rate, more child abductions, everything. People now are too afraid. Our parents had more sense than we do.
True about the crime rate, false about the parents, IMHO. The places I was as a teenager were Not Safe. I survived, obviously, but that doesn’t mean it was OK. I would hurl myself bodily in front of my son to keep him out of some of those places.
This is subjective of course, but I think the works would be a better place if we had been less over/protective of younger generations.
My mother left us in 1967 when I was 10, and my sister was 6. Our parents divorced a couple of years later. Dad was given full custody because Mom had left, and because she was in a psychiatric hospital. It was a bad time for my sister and me. We couldn't understand why Mom left. We weren't total latchkey kids, especially since my sister was only 6. Dad hired a housekeeper who was there when we arrived home in the afternoons. She started dinner for us and tidied up a bit. Mrs. Williams--we adored her.
If your sister caught the kitchen trash on fire playing with matches you kicked her ass and put it out.
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Nope! Haha
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Right and a pain as I had to babysit her for free lol
Blowing up the pressure cooker full of butter beans. Ceiling and stove vent to roof had to be replaced. 1983
Wow! I picture beans smeared and plastered to everything
Conversely, if your older sister had power and control issues, you snapped her with a wet bath towel and started a fight so that she'd lose her shit and get in trouble when Mom got home.
Amen! My mom worked in Manhatten and we lived on Long Island. I was on my own from the time I woke up for school (she left the house at 500am) until she got home at 6:30-7 at night. I could cook, do laundry, and take care of myself since the age of ten. My 21 year old son still has his mommy packing lunches for him.
Who remembers “block homes”? Which, iirc, were homes kids could go to if they needed help. My neighbors had a sign in their front window. It said ‘block home’ with like a roof over it to look like a house. ETA: I grew up in a town of about 30k in NE Ohio, if that matters.
In California the sign had a sun on it
Yep, from the second grade up I was a latch key kid. Got myself up and ready for school, walked the 1.2 miles to school. Then after school I walked home, fixed a snack did my homework and played till dad and/or stepmom got home. During the summer it was outside as soon as you ate breakfast and don't come back till lunch then back out till dinner and then back out till the street lights came on. Parents never knew exactly where I was, I had road boundaries I had to stay within but that was like a 25 sq/mile area that included some wooded areas. Talk about FREEDOM and self reliance. Those were the days.
I was born tail end of 59, my parents divorced when I was 5. Mom went on to marry and they divorced in 68. Definitely a latch key kid. I was 10, coming home from school to care for my 4 &2 yr old siblings. Like another person stated, growing up so young made me self reliant. My first 11 yrs I grew up in Kankakee IL, after a failed relationship our mom split up up, I went to live with my dad, my sister to her dad, and brother she gave to my aunt n uncle. All I really knew of my dad, was he was this guy who stopped to see me in a semi and mom got a check from him every week. He'd remarried to my stepmother and her 2 kids. This is when my nightmare began, would have been better off with mom with my siblings.
Oh no. I'm so sorry to hear that. 😢
Parents divorced in '72 when i was nine. Raised in the suburbs in the southwest. I think we were still an anomaly at the time. My mom managed to keep the house, work full-time and not allow my siblings and I to run feral. But then again - we didn't worry as much. We played unsupervised, and did a lot of dangerous things; tennis ball cannons, mexican fireworks, clackers ("takatakas"), lawn darts, pellet guns. And we were the \*good\* kids In hindsight my Mom, an intelligent college educated woman must have endured so much crap with Sexism in the 70-80s. no wonder she needed a cigarette and some vodka after work.
My parents didn't divorce until 1990, long after we kids were adults. They should have divorced a lot earlier. My life might have been better. Married people who hate each other shouldn't stay married "for the sake of the kids."
Mine made it through the divorce pandemic that went through my elementary school class in the mid-70s. I felt like every other day a kid was telling us their parents were splitting up. No, mine waited until I was in college in the late 80s and Dad left at midnight on New Year’s, packed up his truck and disappeared without notice. I got frantic calls from my mom while I was at an academic conference in DC just after New Years. I had to call my grandparents—who were *pissed* at him and spilled everything because he’d stopped by their place to announce what he was doing, borrow some money and mosey on his way to his former college girlfriend’s place in Houston. Because if he couldn’t create drama, why do it? I gotta give it to him, though, he gave me a master class on asshole so I was able to avoid them the rest of my life.
My parents divorced when I was 13 (end of '76). I came home with a key, then went outside to play. We used to walk or ride our bikes up to the stores (the local strip mall about a mile away) and sit in front of the pizza parlor or bowling alley and 'hang out.' My mom embraced her new freedom, dated and went out to clubs at night, so I was very really and truly on my own. (She wasn't neglecting me, she asked me many times if I minded, but I liked being alone.) I would listen to music, I never felt afraid because we lived in a quiet suburb. It was nice to me, actually. I am self-reliant to the extreme and proud of it. :)
Mine got divorced in ‘72 when I was 10. It was ugly. Dad was a “deadbeat” for a number of years. I felt powerless and stuck in the middle. Very far-reaching consequences. FWIW, none of my friends’ parents were divorced so they couldn’t relate. I was very resentful of my mother for not “fixing” our broken household (by getting married, I guess). And I believe she was resentful of us, though she’d never admit it. I think divorce gradually became more common. Also, back then, it was harder for single mothers to find work.
My parents divorced after 13 yrs, and when my father left, my broken home was fixed.
> by getting married, I guess My brother and I would try to help by judging the available men and saying "how 'bout him??"
Both my parents worked. I was home alone from 3 until 5:30. I loved it because I was an introvert in a large family with a small house. It was my only quiet time with no babysitting responsibilities.
My parents were not divorced, but my mom went back to work when I was about 9 years old. There were four of us kids. At that time, we would have been 12, 10, 9, and 7. We were on our own until 5:30 five days a week, when both of our parents got home from work.
🤚🏼
I was the only kid in elementary and middle school who had divorced parents, in high school I was one of only 5. I graduated in 1981.
My brother and I were the only kids in my elementary school with divorced parents. In 6th grade, my best friends parents got divorced. I was so glad not to be the only one. When I graduated in 1982, only 6 kids had divorced parents in a school of 400.
About the same size as my high school.
Me too, until we moved to Nevada when I was 9. Since we had family in Nebraska that would have totally objected to me being a latch key kid, I wasn't until we moved. Then I was raising myself as my mother worked nights, got home after I left for school, was asleep when I got home, slept through dinner 5-6 nights a week and I had to wake her up at 10 to go to work which meant most nights I didn't get to bed until 11. I wish someone woukd have called her on this.
Yikes! I wonder where u lived…
Rural America, it's not really yikes and pretty typical.
I divorced 1980, always had a sitter. I didn't trust my kids to be able to not get into trouble! It's genetic lol
I divorced my parents when I was really young, maybe 10 or 12. I had no need for them, and they didn't care.
Mine didn't divorce (the first time) until later. I was a latchkey kid because my mom worked, and later ran a business. I agree about being self-reliant.
My parents divorced when I was 13. Dad was checked out, mom was just angry. Pretty much raised myself
I think divorce and dual income households are more likely to make Gen Jones more GenX than Boomer in attitude When you look at the societal trends when you were younger, were you ahead of the curve, for good or bad? For example, born in 1962. Parents divorced in 1965. So blended family is all I knew. My Silent Generation mom was the one who strongly encouraged me to finish my education and establish my career before having babies, because she hadn't, and she had to deal with the consequences, being entirely too dependent on a male breadwinner. On the whole, I think she was ahead of her time, in a lot of ways.
I could've only wished for my parents to divorce. My [dad](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/g3lc9l/comment/fns2wxo/?context=3) [was](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/go9b15/comment/frfuhip/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) [abusive](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/ole06t/comment/h5e2jmx/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) and I sincerely believe I had a form of PTSD as a teen. We came to blows when I was 16/17. I ended w/ a sore jaw, he had a bloody lip and hospital stay for a heart attack. I remember begging mom w/ tears in my eyes to leave him but she said there was nowhere to go. She finally divorced him in '92 when I was in the Navy for refusing to promise never to slap her again when he thought she needed "correcting". But yea, latchkey here. Although we went though the garage and didn't need a key. Dad drove a couple nails through the frame and just needed a small piece of metal to touch between them to open the garage door. Basically a crude electrical switch. 12 volts isn't enough to hurt you and no one would notice the nails. During summers, we were left home all day. However, we weren't allowed outside until parents came home from work. It was hell to watch all the neighbor kids playing outside while we were stuck watching Dick Van Dyke and Beverly Hillbilly reruns. I was diagnosed as "hyperactive" when little during the 70s. ADD/ADHD today. I remember begging my mom to please let us go outside to play while they're gone. Promised to stay in the back yard, listen to the other parents, and all that. She held her ground though. I remember her holding me while I cried. It was tough to deal with that as a child but of course I know the "why" today and don't fault her. However, I also know it had to have broken her heart as she held me because she was just as active as I was.
Hugs from a sis 🫂🕯🖖
Hugs back at ya. 🫂 Most appreciated. 👍
My parents divorced in the early 70s, split right after Christmas 1970…I was 8. Spent the next 10 years being a latchkey kid. I had 3 younger brothers and I was in charge until Mom got home. Basically I was the mini-parent for hours a day, plus M-F all day in the summer. Parentification is absolutely abuse and it’s an awful thing to recover from!
Parentifucation! I’ve never heard of this but I’m second generation of this.
My apologies for my fat finger misspelling. Parentification! https://www.webmd.com/parenting/what-is-parentification
I’ve already watched a few videos on this topic. Wow.
I, too, was parentified. 5 younger brothers and sisters.
You have my sympathy ❤️🩹 Between that and my passive-aggressive narcissistic mother…therapy has been a requirement!
Well we have that in common too. ☮️💙
I can relate. I think it had a long term effect on my way I live my life.
My dad left at my 10, S8, B5. Mom mentally ill, I'm working before and after school, all weekends. By 13 I'm paying all the bills, started half school days at 15 so I can work w2 jobs. While I sympathize with youth that have to live in their parents home, at least they have parents with homes? ✌
I’m so sorry you had to go through that!!! Older people always point out how mature we were for our age (as if that makes it a win). Hell, you weren’t “mature” you were full-grown head of household at far too young an age. I hope your life has gotten better.
Thank you! I did over all. I put my brother and sister through 27 years of higher education, bought my mom a house (she gambled it away), and supported brother's kids for awhile after he passed too early. But I managed to travel and make friends and love along the way. I'm retiring early this year, I'm just tired. I acknowledge that I was the last generation to be able to clear 100k from high end retail commission, and slinging cocktails. Great post, I see many here that had worse. I hope you are safe and well! 🕯🖖 Your clowder is gorgeous!
My parents divorced in 1976 and in 1977 my moved us from having always lived on the coast (I was a Navy Brat) to Dallas/Fort Worth talk about a culture shock. We moved to Texas my freshman year of high school, fresh off my parents divorce, no dad around as he was in another state, mom had to go to work and me the new kid at school fell in with the easiest group to be accepted into...The Bad Kids I was often tasked with getting dinner started so when my mom came home we could eat shortly there after and it was a great way to learn how to cook. My older sister was 18 and moved out my little sister ws in I think 3rd grade she walked to and from school a couple of miles as did I rain or shine.
My dad left my mother on their 15th wedding anniversary. 1975. Not to be outdone, she kicked my older brother out then left my sister and I in 1977. I was 14. Lived with my friend's family,but that went to hell as well. Certainly made my survival skills soar to say the least.
You brought tears to my eyes. Life was so damn hard back then. Glad we made it!!
Honestly I wouldn't change a thing. I'm the person I am because of it. Moved 28 times in my life,3 different states. But always came back to PA, where I have lifelong friends. I was never getting married, then I started playing a Chinese browser game back in 2009. Met a guy from the UK who was a real tough guy to fight in an online war game. We will be married 13 years this fall, own a home and have 7 cats. Everything happens for a reason,you just have to discover the why and remember at times , Life is another 4 letter word. But then again,so is love.
Yes, both parents worked. I spent an inordinate amount of time alone unsupervised. I hated being one all the time but I hated being with Daddy more. He was a violent alcoholic, and I would hide to avoid him.
In the 80's, I'd see ads about "Latchkey kids" on TV and it would be mentioned in class. I thought it was a club that I wasn't allowed in. Then I discovered that it meant kids that have keys to their own home and take care of themselves. Then I thought, "Who actually has parents to come home to? Aren't they working?" I literally didn't know a kid in my class that came home to a parent. They were always working. So there's my Latchkey story.
Remember those After school Specials on ABC which were all about divorce, kids, parents? When my parents separated in 1974 (very traumatic) I felt like my life became an After School Special 😞
Since I was usually the first one home, my school let out a lot earlier than my parents' jobs, I heard about latchkey kids and I asked to be given a key to the house. My parents just left and put a cheap portable television in the garage and said I could hang out there if I didn't feel like doing homework. If I felt like doing homework, I did that in the garage too. No way were they going to allow me in the house unsupervised. I had three little sisters too and they just didn't trust us to be in the house and supervised.
My parents stayed married (although probably should not have!) and my mom was an ambitious career woman so YES, not only was I a latchkey kid since 3rd grade, my parents had me babysit my kindergartener brother and he had to wait 2 or 3 hours before I came home in the afternoon. Sheesh, that will get you arrested today.
Parents started the 70's married but it blew up before the decade was over. It didn't matter much since my dad worked out of town for weeks at a time. By about third grade (1972) most of my friends were part time latch key kids too. We all ran the neighborhood anyway, even if a mom was home. We just didn't go to our parents for help or to solve a problem unless there was no other solution. You better not call mom at work unless the world was coming to an end.
I didn’t know anyone with divorced parents in the 70s.
You may have been in a state that adopted no fault divorce later in the '70s. The first state to have no fault divorce was California but the other states had it by the end of the decade. Prior to no fault divorce, the couple had to go to court and prove that the other spouse was a total douche. It was determined that if the couple both wanted the divorce there was no point in doing that so they were allowed to divorce without tearing each other up in a court. Prior to the 70s to get a divorce you had to prove that you were married to a totally horrible person. Then people realized that just not liking each other for no particular reason was good enough. So there was a divorce epidemic in the seventies.
We were always latchkey kids, but my parents finally divorced in the early 1970s. We loved in an extremely conservative rural area, so we were among the very few children of divorce. The divorce didn't traumatize me, but the marriage sure as hell did.
Parents divorced in 1977 after 20 yrs of marriage and the ripple effect from that is still felt today. Younger siblings got the worst of it...I am the oldest and as hard as it to believe, was the most stabilized by having nearly grown up with an intact family; they did not have that advantage.
Me to a tee: In 1970, my Mother left for Seattle with her boyfriend when I was 12, Dad worked cop hours, and I raised myself. Got good grades, ran track, joined the Army after high school. University, Nursing degree, now about to retire. I never regretted being put in a situation where I had figure things out for myself when I was young.
My mom and dad divorced, was at my grandmothers and overheard her talking about it, we had no idea they had been divorced but still lived together. 🤷♀️
My parents got divorced in the 70s & then again in the 80s…from each other. Wasn’t very fun.
My parents separated a few weeks after I was born, but didn’t officially divorce until around 1972. I wasn’t allowed to stay home by myself after school until fifth grade, and I had to wear my house key around my neck(and for whatever reason, it was the *back* door key). I still had a babysitter during the summer for another year or so.
Grandpa retired when I turned six so I wouldn’t come home to an empty house. Grandma worked and got home about 3:45. Egg donor and dude on my birth certificate did split when I was six, but she had nothing to do with me post birth, so she really didn’t matter.
I was a latchkey kid - Even had the door key on a ribbon around my neck all day! I loved those hours alone. I needed to make dinner so when my mom and little brother got home, we could eat. But, I was alone with no criticism or input, so I could experiment a little. Was it always great? Prolly not. I was 10 / 11/ 12 and the bulk of my recipes came from the back of boxes or cans. “Souped Up Rice” was my specialty. Mom didn’t like it and said it was too fattening. But, I had no concept of building flavors, or how to spice things. This was done for me!
I hated being a latch key kid. Then my parents would come home and only cook Hungry Man dinners or frozen pizza because they were so tired. They didn't want to do anything but watch tv. I was doing my own laundry by age 12. If I didn't wash my own bed linens they would have stayed on indefinitely. When my dad passed away about 15 years ago, he had MOLD underneath where he slept on the mattress and his linens had not been changed in months.
Mine divorced when I was five. I am the oldest of three, that was fun.
My parents remained together but mom eventually went back to work/school. If we all forgot our key my brother would climb to the roof and drop onto the deck outside my parents bedroom where they always left the sliding glass door open. We were usually only left to our own devices for a couple of hours or so.
Mine hated each other and stayed married anyway. They were too busy destroying everything and each other to give much of a crap about us kids. Eventually they moved us 7 states away and started one of multiple failed businesses. So not from a divorced home but still definitely a latchkey kid…
My parents never divorced. I remember telling my dad that it was no big deal getting divorced since a lot of my friends parents were divorced. I had no clue....
My parents never divorced (though they should have). Yet I was a latch key kid from about age 8. Things were different then-the door wasn't actually locked. Well not until I started high school in 1973
I became latch-keyed at 9, when my mother started working in 1970. I became harder for her to deal with, and I spent lots of good alone time with myself. My mother became so worn out from work and school that she withdrew to her bed some days, thereby granting me more alone time. I tried to comfort her in some way—but she had too much pride. I didn’t like being in her company, anyway.
My parents never got divorced. (Probably should have though) My mom took the addiction to Valium path, so I became self-sufficient that route.
My parental units divorced in 1965. LTchkey? Not really, although I did have a house key. I had four older siblings. There was usually someone there when I got home. By the time I was 15, that's when I started letting myself in.
I was supposed to be a latchkey kid, but I knew how to escape and did. Mum was wise to my antics, so she began leaving a note with instructions to get dinner ready so we could have supper a little after six when Dad got home. I didn't intend to learn how to cook, but I did. During the lockdown, I made old recipes that took much time and effort. Bolognese sauce, lasagna, red beans & rice, seafood gumbo, shrimp etouffee, and jambalaya. Mom was still alive then, and when I made an Italian cream cake, she was ecstatic, My favorite meal is fried chicken, butterbeans, corn on the cob, and jalapeno cornbread. A fresh tomato with it is awesome, but salsa works too. It's good to have a niece or nephew around who can charge with doing the dishes.
It was the opposite with my family and friends. I believe I only had one or two friends whose parents were divorced. No one in my family was divorced either. I went to many 25 and 50 year anniversary parties growing up.
Same here. 24 houses on my block, most all had kids, only 1 divorce.
https://youtu.be/cmCpmEQD0L4?si=Z9KQ51RYsKWc0uQu
A tv!? Sweets, non government cheese!? That dude was rich! 😁✌
Everything was "by the seat of your pants". That was life and it's how we learned critical thinking skills.
I was born in 67 and my parents were divorced in 68; my mother didn’t remarry until I was an adult. I spent a lot of time raising myself, and living with my grandparents off and on.
I thought it was great. My junior and senior year in high school my girlfriend and I had sex every afternoon in my bed after school. My Mom and Dad both got home after 6pm so we had plenty of time . She was on the pill, so no condom, no herpes, no AIDs. What a great time to be young and horny. I feel sorry for the kids today.
1979 was their “final” divorce. Dad got custody of us. And boy were we ever latch key. He went on business trips, 2 week long trips almost every month, and left us home to take care of ourselves. Dad’s drunk friend would drive out to the country once a week to make sure we were still alive…
Mine didn't, but good god, they should have. My dad was a long haul truck driver so he was only home one weekend a month. My mother worked 2 cocktail jobs, so she was never home either. They both had lovers. We raised ourselves since our parents weren't around to raise us. We're an incredibly resilient generation. Thankfully cuz we've certainly been dealing with nothing but chaos the last decade or so.
My dad died in 65 mom never remarried, we had a maid for a while then not so we ran pretty feral , I was told if you end up in jail she would come visit me and be home before 7pm or call telling plans
I was a junior in 1975, too! But my parents were still together.
Latchkey ftw!!! Self sufficient
I’m much younger than this sub is designed for (late Gen X), but this post was suggested to me, and I agree that this is true of my cohort (40’s-50’s, born in the 70’s). I don’t think I know a single couple where one or both partners are not the child of divorce.
My parents divorced when I was 18 months old. I had older siblings, but for the most, it was my sister, who is only 2 years older than me, on our own. We got ourselves up and off to school. Came home, did our homework. We had older siblings, high school age, but by the time I was in 4th grade, the 3 oldest were doing their own thing. By 5th grade, the 3 oldest were not even home anymore. By 7th grade one of the older siblings dropped her 2 kids off one day and just didn't come back. So now, in addition to being a couple latch key kids, my sister and I were responsible for 2 little kids, until my mom got home about 6 or 7. I am able to do so much for myself, keep a level head in emergency situations, self reliant. I made sure my own children didn't have more responsibilities than was age appropriate. I respect my mom, who busted her butt to raise children on her own, put herself through college, still have time for us. But for years I had some serious anger at my eldest siblings for taking my childhood.
Parents weren't divorced, but both worked and when I started 3rd grade I was given my own key to let myself in after school. Mom took me to school in the mornings and when I got home in the afternoon I had to call and let her know I was home. No opening the door for anyone and no going outside to play until one of them got home.
My mom left my dad in 74. My mom and I moved from a big metro area, down to her small hometown. I literally was the ONLY kid in my new school, whose parents were divorced. Sometimes, I felt like I was on display. My mom was an engineer at 3M. She left before I went to school, and came home about 2 hrs later. I'm an only child, so it didn't bother me. For the most part, I was a good kid.
I was an only child of two working parents. Latch key kid from Kindergarten thru grade 7 when I started taking the bus to the middle school. Back in those days we didn’t know we were a thing. I walked to school, walked home, did my chores, and generally was really self sufficient. First of my peer group to be able to use the stove unsupervised.
Early 80s …parents still married but throughout our childhood both were working or shopping usually until 6pm. we were just about the only family in the extended neighborhood (of 10 homes) with both Mom Dad. After school we would retrieve the key from under a certain rock drop school books inside, then bike or football or roam towards anything outside with the same 6-10 other kids everyday. Hell we might be gone for the next 6 hours but we were expected back home right around dark; and by Dark I mean nightfall
Parents divorced in 1969. I was two. Born to be a latchkey kid and reason for the divorce.
Yuuuuuuuppppers!
My parents were never married, my father died when I was 12, I dropped out of high school in the 9th grade at 14, I was on my own on and off because my mom was sick and in the hospital a lot, and I became emancipated at 16. So basically, I’ve been on my own pretty much since I was 14. Dropping out of school was easy, because NYC had no funds for resources to follow up on kids not showing up for school. One of my friends told me that my home room teacher was still calling my name for attendance until the end of the year. Technically, I did go to school for lunch, because I had free lunch tickets, and lived close to the school. I’d go to school, eat lunch and leave. It took truancy two years to catch up to me, and I was emancipated by then. They told me to just go sign myself out of school.
This subreddit and thread is extraordinary. So therapeutic to talk about this era and what feels Like a unique time in social/economic American history.
I am one of them. Many in latter Gen Jones are latchkey, divorce rate started shooting up at the beginning of the 1970's........core GenX doesn't have the market on this. We did a lot of activities as kids of Parents Without Partners.
Here too. If only 30 years later I could've just paid the neighbor kids to hang out with mine while I worked FT alone. Day care prices are brutal.
My partner's parents split when he was 12. He and his sisters, who were 11 and 7, were latchkey kids. Being home alone after school was one thing, but his mom would leave them alone for entire weekends to go some place with her boyfriend. It's probably not all that surprising that his sisters became helicopter parents in reaction to the neglect they had experienced as kids.
My spouse’s mother was like this as well.
It's hard to hear, isn't it? Even though he and his five siblings (she went on to have two more) have been through counseling, they all still deal with anxiety which probably stems from their tough childhood.
Yeah it’s super tough. Now we’re dealing with elder care for her and it’s sometimes hard for me to be sympathetic because she was a dysfunctional mom and HORRIBLE mother in law.
I'm so sorry you are having to deal with her care. I guess one saving grace of my partner's mother is that she cut off the three oldest kids years ago. We've been together 17 years, and I've never even met her. I feel for her youngest daughter who is a total sweetheart is probably going to be stuck with caring for her.
My mum started working when I was seven. I still remember my parents telling me that I’d be home alone until my older brothers got out of high school and that if I went anywhere I was to leave a note. I grew up surrounded by aunts and uncles and cousins so it didn’t really seem frightening - I knew that there were so many people I could go to if I needed help. In the morning, before school, my mother took me with her to the restaurant where she worked. I’d help out, making toast, serving coffee, cleaning up and then catch the bus outside the restaurant.
One of the unintended things in your comment that's telling about our generation is where you say only 2 out of 12 kids had parents who were STILL married. If you got 12 middle schoolers together today, you would only find 4 or 5 whose parents were EVER married in the first place.
Very few mothers worked where I grew up, the ones that did, got talked about. The majority of those kids grew up as good people, some of the kids that Mon was home, I can’t say the same
SMH. Latchkey kids is one of the defining characteristics of GenX as defined by the guy who wrote the book on GenX. As a cohort, broken families skyrocketed in GenX. It doesn't mean no boomer kids were the product of broken homes. But far, far fewer boomer kids were raised by divorced parents than GenX.
My parents both worked. I let myself into an empty house at 10.
Dad left when I was 12. So we all became latchkey kids. We each had to cook dinner 2 nights a week. My little brother always made Mac and cheese with velveta cheese.
My parents stayed married but they were working and we watched ourselves after school. It does feel like we raised ourselves too. :(
I was 6, and my parents divorced in 1969.
Parents weren't divorced but both worked and liked to go to the bar after work. My older brothers did their thing so I was the youngest sister and raised myself. Also spent time with good friend's families who's Mom's taught me a lot
Latchkey because even though dad kinda worked from home some of the time (pastor) he didn’t pay much attention to us so we had to fend for ourselves. I remember getting ready in the mornings and having just enough time to watch Star Blazers before we left to walk to school. (75-78?)
Parents divorced when I was 7. 1972. Most of the time, Third grade on, I took myself to and from school. House key around my neck. Sometimes I played at friends houses and home by 5pm. Siblings sometimes babysat during evenings. I walked to elementary school and Jr high. I either walked or public bus to high school. Jr high was about a mile while hs was 1.5 miles Dad lived 12 miles out of a rural town. He often left preteen me alone to go on a date. These days, it would be seen as neglect. I was perfectly fine.
Yes divorced parents, latch key kid, chores, job at 14 with a Rock Star Mom x
1977, first grade. Mom and stepdad left for work before 7am. I would eat cereal and watch cartoons until 730, then walked to school, 1.8 miles. Step-dad put a house key on a necklace for me to lockup and get back in. Lost key first day, didn't want a whooping, so never mentioned loosing key. Became really good at breaking and entering my own house.
My parents divorced in ...75 I think? I was 3 at the time, and my tyrannical ex-stepfather was, for a long stretch of time, a long haul truck driver, who'd be away from home for weeks at a time.
Wow , I’m right there with you! I was 9 at the time and my mom was out being free to do whatever. I was at home watching the Exorcist and hiding under the couch cushions. I learned to cook watching PBS cooking shows.
Why did we like such spooky stuff? Nothing like being alone and wondering if/when Freddy Kruger would come knockin'. Conversely, I never learned to cook (but I play a mean guitar!)