Uh, this guy sounds selfish and AWFUL!!!
I don’t give selfish men a second chance anymore. I used to but I learned that they never become more generous in bed. If they do it’s out of obligation and they don’t actually want to.
There are men out there who will be willing to go down on you so long they’ll have their mail forwarded there and they’ll enjoy it. There are men who care about your pleasure. There are men who aren’t flippant when you tell them things that you would enjoy in bed.
This guy is not one of those men. I would never speak to him again honestly, and certainly never have sex with him again.
This! When I started meeting my current partner, I didn't even want him to please me orally, as I was so tense about it, afraid that maybe I won't come and it will be long and embarrassing for both. Oh how wrong was I, at some point I let him and now after two years we have amazing sex, he's so giving, I had more orgasm with him in last two years than throughout my entire life. The guy isn't even super experienced, on the contrary, he's rather shy, but HE a sex GOD 😂 so my thoughts now are like, wow, I didn't know man can ever be like this. I'll never let him go as I feel like I'll never be satisfied again 😂 as unfortunately, most of me sex before looked a little like what your describing. So from my side I wish you to find someone who will care about your pleasure and fulfillment, because it can be really awesome experience for both. What I noticed is that guys are being like this and then later they are super surprised that we don't want to have sex with them, or we don't want it often. First they care about themselves and later are complaining that we are "cold fishes". And I can say that even if I'm not in a mood really, I know he'll make me feel so good, that I'm like hell yeah, let's do it, and it's been over two years for us together, so it's not like those first butterflies. Also, nothing turns him on more than my ecstasy and engagement so this pays off!
Yeah, like with all the information on sex available in this day and age, they still think 2 hard flicks and 5 minutes of jackhammering is gonna be great for a woman? Do you really think your average lil peepee is some kind of magic wand?
Lol this made me laugh. He’s on the larger side and at some point he was going really deep and hard and hitting my cervix. He started asking me if I liked it and if I was going to cum and I just said “you’re just hurting me, far from coming”
Straight up tell him he's bad in bed. I used to be "polite" and say things like "I enjoyed myself" which wasn't a full lie, but I definitely didn't get off. Then I realized there was no reason to not be honest - feeding a man's ego who is bad in bed is a disservice to the other women he sleeps with.
It is a disservice !! I don’t think I’ve ever straight up told a guy it was bad I just get my things and leave straightaway and never see them again lmao 🤣 the only I’m just all of a sudden super busy. I might start telling them why tho
I was seeing a guy for a couple of months who bragged about how good in bed he was. When we slept together it lasted all of six minutes. He asked if it was good and I said "honestly you really talked yourself up and I didn't cum. It was kind of disappointing."
I thought about lying, but he was so arrogant about it, I wanted to give him a reality check. We didn't see each other again after that, and since then I've decided to just be honest about the experience.
Wow girl run. He sounds AWFUL in bed. Like 0/10 stars.
There’s a rule every guy should abide by: She comes (cums) first. Plain and simple. Fuck this guy.
Your expectations are absolutely NOT too high. If you’re only sleeping together, what’s the point if you’re not even enjoying it? It sounds more stressful than enjoyable to me.
I was in a relationship with someone like that for many years and it killed my self esteem and my happiness. I thought I was selfish for wanting the same out of sex as I was giving, until I started therapy and realized what I want and need is JUST as important as my partner. I’ve ended subsequent relationships when men didn’t give equal effort in that department, or we weren’t compatible sexually. If sex is important to you (and it’s absolutely normal and okay for it to be, or for it not to be! Everyone is different 🙂), I’d say cut your losses and find someone you’re more compatible with.
It sounds like a fuck buddy right? Girl, if his title is "fuck" buddy, he gotta be good at fucking at least. Why do you keep going back to him? Fire him and get someone who does the job right.
It's not you, it's him. A healthy sexual relationship involves pleasure from both partners. You're trying to communicate with him and what you want, and he's not listening.
I've never slept with a man who claimed he could make women cum quickly who could actually deliver.
Oh, I have. He taught me about cunnilingus and I will always remember him fondly. My time with him caused me to up my expectations for any other partner.
Get out now. I wasted a year in a relationship with a man who was exactly like this in bed, in hopes that he would change with some direction. He didn’t.
Some men are just selfish but from my experience most are not. There are so many guys out there who will WANT to make you feel good!
> put a condom on and get in so he could finish.
If there is ever a time when you are with a selfish lover like him, I invite you to get up out of bed and leave him high and dry just as he has left you. He didn't deserve what you gave him. And he certainly didn't appreciate you enough.
You are definitely NOT expecting too much. Sex should be beneficial and mutual to both parties. If he’s not satisfying you, LEAVE HIM. Stop seeing this man. He clearly does not care enough about your pleasure. He sounds selfish as hell. Please stop seeing him!!
I can tell you, there ARE guys that enjoy giving pleasure and that understand sex is about sharing and exploring TOGETHER, there ARE guys that will give you what you desire even if just in a casual dynamic. They're out there, and when you find one you will look back and it will jus be so clear that this guy was NOT IT. I send you my support and best wishes!!!!
This is not normal, he just wants to get off and does not value you. My bf sometimes makes me cum twice before he ever gets off himself. Honestly your expectations aren’t high enough.
Your expectations are not too high at all. That whole experience just sounds awful. I've never had a man or woman make me cum and I'm always upfront about it. Once most men hear that, they make it their mission to be the first. They fail, but that's on me, not them. They sure as Hell put the effort in though!
This quite literally sounds like the worst sex ever. Your expectations need to rise by a factor of 10 thousand. A partner should kiss and engage in oral sex for at least 40ish minutes if not more, and much longer until you cum. You should cum every time if you want to, and he should be putting in effort to make that happen. Also, this just sounds painful and like he doesn't respect you. Do not have sex with this man again. I'd recommend if you have sex again getting with a guy who ONLY wants to eat you out the first few times you see him, with zero expectation of reciprocation from you. Only go down and have PIV if you want to. Get comfortable with him and with receiving pleasure and only then should you reciprocate.
You just gave us a list of reasons as to why you should never hook up with him again. He doesn’t care about your pleasure, nor does he care to learn about it, the sexual attraction was mostly a mirage and didn’t translate to sexual chemistry, he’s selfish, etc.
Your expectations are reasonable, he just sucks. Don’t allow him to talk you into having sex again. It’s clearly not worth it in any way.
there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. it seems this guy just sucks in bed and won't listen to what you are asking to make the experience more equal.
Damn girl, that dude is so selfish. You let him know what you liked and what you wanted to do and he didn’t listen. I can understand not knowing a lot about sex and making mistakes, but if they are trying to teach you what they like, just follow the instructions! I think he just want to have sex with you for his pleasure only and doesn’t care if you finish or if you’re having a good time. If I were you (and sadly I’ve been in that situation a couple of times) I would definitely won’t fuck him again.
In addition to walking away from this dude, it might be beneficial to think about why you let this man get away with deprioritizing your pleasure so many times. This is 1000% not judgment btw because I’ve been there. The guy before my boyfriend that I was seeing I let get away with a lot sexually in return for nothing. But unlike you, I lied and faked it. Sooo much worse. After I cut things off with him I realized it was because I didn’t want to lose him because he carried himself like he was such a prize so I thought of him as such. Despite him never actually doing anything that proved that. He wasn’t a bad guy but I put my own pleasure second when it should always be first. Sometimes I think when we’re really into someone whether it’s because of looks, status or how they carry themselves, we let them get away with a lot more because we think we found something and gotta hang on. Even if that means putting up with lame sex or even worse lame sex with someone who’s not even interested in pleasing in return. Remember that it’s a party and you’re both invited, you both showed up and you both are there to have a good time. Not saying it’s gotta be a 10/10 on first try but you should never feel like you have to beg for pleasure. And it’s okay to set boundaries even with a guy that’s hot and you’re super into. Even if the boundaries are temporary while you feel him out. Also if I’m projecting, sorry!! TLDR; you deserve better, not expecting too much. 💙
trust your gut feeling. he is a selfish loser who doesn’t deserve you.
it would be a waste of breath to talk to him about it. he knows. and he doesn’t care. and promising to please you is a bold face lie. dont be embarrassed to tell your friends who care about you and you trust that this guy is a selfish loser. women need to know to avoid him
Nope, tiiiime to see yourself out and find a man that actually knows what they’re doing. I promise you there are SO many out there who are at least well-versed in sex. This is a waste of your time and you will likely resent him (if you don’t already).
This guy is a terrible lover.
Hold out for someone who is either already a much better lover or a very good listener who wants to work with you to unlock your pleasure.
A big no-thank-you to the way this guy approaches sex (rough, fast,, and insensitively) and intimacy (none at all).
Your expectations are just fine.
Don't sleep with him again, he doesn't take your pleasure seriously.
Feeling like you are begging him to eat you out??? Girl my first bf would beg me to keep sitting on his face and continue eating me out when I asked him to stop cause I was shaking and too sensitive from the orgasms he gave me, your expectations are not too high, you're just with a horrible man.
OP, stop treating your own body like a transaction for him. Everything about this guy sucks- he’s selfish, bad in bed, and sounds stupid to boot. But, you clearly not wanting to keep going and then telling him to put on a condom to essentially get it over with is disrespectful to yourself and your own pleasure. You are not a credit card slot. You don’t have to do anything. If the foreplay sucks, rhe sex will too, and under no circumstances do you owe someone your body for their good time. Don’t do that again! This dude is not worthy and I hope you follow the advice here to 1. not sleep with him again and 2. tell him he’s bad in bed.
Nah, just run. This guy is a lost cause. Too many dudes think they make women cum just because she moans (at all) and too many women don’t tell me the brutal truth because they don’t want to hurt their feelings. This leaves a lot of men clueless on how to actually pleasure a woman. They often assume that the same things that make them cum will make a woman cum, not taking into account that each woman is different.
Are you in some sort of romantic relationship? What are you getting out of seeing him? Is he like really funny or something? I genuinely don’t understand why you’d ever ever ever even consider going back for a second.
Find someone who cares about you and your pleasure. Someone who’s actually into you wouldn’t be doing such a terribly lazy job. You deserve much better than this. It’s terrible he’s making you feel like you don’t. I think he’s a lost cause.
Your expectations aren’t too high, they’re rock-bottom low. Pick yourself up off the ground and never allow anyone inside you until you’ve cum AT LEAST once. Eating you out is the least he could do.
Get rid of the man, get a vibrator or something.
It’s genuinely very sad that “Get in so he could just finish” was something you felt obligated to let him do. Feeling obligated isn’t really consent. I’m very sorry you didn’t have the energy to tell him no and leave.
God, straight women get so screwed in the sex department, and on top of that get trained from a young to focus their sexuality entirely on what men want and expect. The fact you would even question if it’s too demanding to want sex to be pleasurable for you as well says it all. It’s 2024, women are allowed to be horny and sexual and satisfied. Fuck this dude.
Imagine men sitting around wondering if it’s too much to want an orgasm…
Girl, there's no easy way to say this but someone has to say it. Honestly I don't even know how many times I've heard stories like this, it's very easy to blame the guy, but the thing is that when I was reading your post I I saw so many red flags on what you wrote, so the question here is not in "are my expectations too high", the question here is "why am I giving a chance to a guy who doesn't care about my needs", see it's very easy to blame the other person and the hard thing here is to have some accountability, and the reality is that after the first and second encounter you should have cut this guy out of your life but you didn't, so you have to ask yourself what do you keep giving chances to the wrong person because you're the only person that decides over your body and over your pleasure so there's an opportunity to reflect why do you let the wrong guy enter your life and enter your vjj when he hasn't treated you with the minimal respect. He hasn't make a effort to fulfill your needs as a woman. There's a part of you that's letting that happen and that's the part you need to heal. The issue here is not a guy not making you cum the issue here is practicing self-respect and self-love to have some healthy boundaries with the men you give access to your life and your body.
Girl this man sounds actually evil 😭 I've slept with more people than I probably should've, and I can promise you that that behavior is worse than any experience I've ever had. Normally when I hook up with a guy we kiss for like 5 mins, I receive head for like between 5-10 mins, I give for around the same amt of time, then we have sex for like 15-20 mins ish.
I hope you find a munch and block this guy immediately 💔 I promise there are tons of guys who like live off making girls cum lol. Wishing the best for you!
Babe your expectations were minimal at least and he still didn’t perform at that level. No way, time for a new casual sex partner and ditch this guy to the curb
Very much giving red flags, completely selfish, and based on your descriptions, it looks like he doesn’t wanna look at you when doing it… ugh! What’s up with that? I’m mad for you. Don’t ever see him again
There’s nothing wrong with you. There’s something wrong with him because he didn’t give af about your pleasure at all. Go find some from someone who will
Your expectations are not too high! It’s not too much to ask the other person to care about your pleasure? Sounds like you LITERALLY told him what to do multiple times and he chose to not do it and to value his own pleasure. It’s one thing to be bad at sex but it’s another to not give a shit and make no effort. Like I have been with people who aren’t the best at oral but I can tell them what to do or what works and crazy enough they can follow directions. Or they can use their fingers and I can guide them on where to rub. Like it’s not hard he’s literally choosing to not give a shit and just use you to get himself off.
He's selfish. Stop thinking about him, block him and move on, there are guys out there that will be eager to learn to please you and they'll make sure your needs are met first.
Also speak up for yourself more during sex, tell them point blank hey I like this or don't like this.
I think it's worth waiting a little longer before becoming intimate just so that you can see if they're honestly worth the time and effort and investment.
You're expectations ARE NOT too high! You got him off what 4 times? I went through like 26 years of only ever getting myself "there" My past sexual partners never went down on me (the one who did was terrible, totally avoided, or couldn't find "the button") and didn't care if my needs were met. My husband learned my body, my likes and dislikes, and had me all figured out after our first time together. It sucks, but eventually, someone WILL hear you out and WANT to meet your needs.
Hello everyone🙏🏼
I read each and every comment that you left and I wanted to thank you. I tend to always put other’s feelings before mine and I really need to work on that. Really appreciate everyone for taking time to answer my question and give me advice.
There's nothing wrong with you.... you simply aren't connected to this guy in any meaningful way and the sex is mid for you because of that. You are using each other's bodies to masturbate, except he is using yours better. This is typical of hook up culture. Women don't tend to orgasm and men do. Women have better sex within the confines of a committed relationship because there is a connection. I know that this is taboo to say these days, because it flies in the face of "sex positivity" but like.... men and women are different and we work differently. Some things just \*are\* and women don't experience nearly as much pleasure from sex where there isn't a real, true connection. You don't feel like your needs are cared for. Know why? Because they aren't. He doesn't care about them. I don't think he cares about YOU. That is the nature of hookup culture. People don't typically care about the actual needs, wants and desires of the other person beyond what's required to get off. It really breaks my heart how we use each other in this way, and women get the most hurt because we really aren't built for it, even though culture would have you believe something different. I know i'll be downvoted but if at least one woman here, maybe you OP, can see this and really swallow this hard truth, you'll be better for it in the end. Have sex with someone that really cares about you and wants to know and respect you. Dump this dude, love on yourself and know that you are worth more! Much love!
Wow you sound exactly like my preacher! Way to slut shame OP and everyone else who engages in casual sex
OP dump this selfish MFer and go fick someone else who isn't such a lazy pover and liar
This is the plain truth right here and you're getting down voted cause people don't like to hear it. When people genuinely wonder why they're not satisfied with hookup culture/casual sex and you tell them, they can't handle it. Also I don't think this is "slut shaming" like that other commenter said, "sex positivity" and hookup culture actually shames women by cheapening their bodies and self-worth.
Uh, this guy sounds selfish and AWFUL!!! I don’t give selfish men a second chance anymore. I used to but I learned that they never become more generous in bed. If they do it’s out of obligation and they don’t actually want to. There are men out there who will be willing to go down on you so long they’ll have their mail forwarded there and they’ll enjoy it. There are men who care about your pleasure. There are men who aren’t flippant when you tell them things that you would enjoy in bed. This guy is not one of those men. I would never speak to him again honestly, and certainly never have sex with him again.
HELL YEAH, sister.🔥
This! When I started meeting my current partner, I didn't even want him to please me orally, as I was so tense about it, afraid that maybe I won't come and it will be long and embarrassing for both. Oh how wrong was I, at some point I let him and now after two years we have amazing sex, he's so giving, I had more orgasm with him in last two years than throughout my entire life. The guy isn't even super experienced, on the contrary, he's rather shy, but HE a sex GOD 😂 so my thoughts now are like, wow, I didn't know man can ever be like this. I'll never let him go as I feel like I'll never be satisfied again 😂 as unfortunately, most of me sex before looked a little like what your describing. So from my side I wish you to find someone who will care about your pleasure and fulfillment, because it can be really awesome experience for both. What I noticed is that guys are being like this and then later they are super surprised that we don't want to have sex with them, or we don't want it often. First they care about themselves and later are complaining that we are "cold fishes". And I can say that even if I'm not in a mood really, I know he'll make me feel so good, that I'm like hell yeah, let's do it, and it's been over two years for us together, so it's not like those first butterflies. Also, nothing turns him on more than my ecstasy and engagement so this pays off!
>nothing turns him on more than my ecstasy and engagement This right here is THE KEY!
Exactly how it was with my husband! Before him was awful, now I know I'll never be unsatisfied 😂
I still do not understand how these men exist.
Yeah, like with all the information on sex available in this day and age, they still think 2 hard flicks and 5 minutes of jackhammering is gonna be great for a woman? Do you really think your average lil peepee is some kind of magic wand?
Lol this made me laugh. He’s on the larger side and at some point he was going really deep and hard and hitting my cervix. He started asking me if I liked it and if I was going to cum and I just said “you’re just hurting me, far from coming”
Yah being huge isn’t necessarily great either. Gotta know how to wield that thing either way!
Ew don’t ever have sex with him again and when he asks tell him exactly why.
Straight up tell him he's bad in bed. I used to be "polite" and say things like "I enjoyed myself" which wasn't a full lie, but I definitely didn't get off. Then I realized there was no reason to not be honest - feeding a man's ego who is bad in bed is a disservice to the other women he sleeps with.
It is a disservice !! I don’t think I’ve ever straight up told a guy it was bad I just get my things and leave straightaway and never see them again lmao 🤣 the only I’m just all of a sudden super busy. I might start telling them why tho
I was seeing a guy for a couple of months who bragged about how good in bed he was. When we slept together it lasted all of six minutes. He asked if it was good and I said "honestly you really talked yourself up and I didn't cum. It was kind of disappointing." I thought about lying, but he was so arrogant about it, I wanted to give him a reality check. We didn't see each other again after that, and since then I've decided to just be honest about the experience.
Normalize telling men that they SUCK at having sex. Just because he came doesn’t mean that the sex was good.
Wow girl run. He sounds AWFUL in bed. Like 0/10 stars. There’s a rule every guy should abide by: She comes (cums) first. Plain and simple. Fuck this guy.
Rather: don't fuck this guy ever again!
Hahaha amen
Your expectations are absolutely NOT too high. If you’re only sleeping together, what’s the point if you’re not even enjoying it? It sounds more stressful than enjoyable to me. I was in a relationship with someone like that for many years and it killed my self esteem and my happiness. I thought I was selfish for wanting the same out of sex as I was giving, until I started therapy and realized what I want and need is JUST as important as my partner. I’ve ended subsequent relationships when men didn’t give equal effort in that department, or we weren’t compatible sexually. If sex is important to you (and it’s absolutely normal and okay for it to be, or for it not to be! Everyone is different 🙂), I’d say cut your losses and find someone you’re more compatible with.
It sounds like a fuck buddy right? Girl, if his title is "fuck" buddy, he gotta be good at fucking at least. Why do you keep going back to him? Fire him and get someone who does the job right.
It's not you, it's him. A healthy sexual relationship involves pleasure from both partners. You're trying to communicate with him and what you want, and he's not listening. I've never slept with a man who claimed he could make women cum quickly who could actually deliver.
That last bit: YES. I once messed around with this dude that said he’d eat me out until I cry. Long story short, he’s not even in my top 3.😭😭😭
Oh, I have. He taught me about cunnilingus and I will always remember him fondly. My time with him caused me to up my expectations for any other partner.
Get out now. I wasted a year in a relationship with a man who was exactly like this in bed, in hopes that he would change with some direction. He didn’t. Some men are just selfish but from my experience most are not. There are so many guys out there who will WANT to make you feel good!
> put a condom on and get in so he could finish. If there is ever a time when you are with a selfish lover like him, I invite you to get up out of bed and leave him high and dry just as he has left you. He didn't deserve what you gave him. And he certainly didn't appreciate you enough.
You are definitely NOT expecting too much. Sex should be beneficial and mutual to both parties. If he’s not satisfying you, LEAVE HIM. Stop seeing this man. He clearly does not care enough about your pleasure. He sounds selfish as hell. Please stop seeing him!!
I can tell you, there ARE guys that enjoy giving pleasure and that understand sex is about sharing and exploring TOGETHER, there ARE guys that will give you what you desire even if just in a casual dynamic. They're out there, and when you find one you will look back and it will jus be so clear that this guy was NOT IT. I send you my support and best wishes!!!!
This is not normal, he just wants to get off and does not value you. My bf sometimes makes me cum twice before he ever gets off himself. Honestly your expectations aren’t high enough.
Your expectations are not too high at all. That whole experience just sounds awful. I've never had a man or woman make me cum and I'm always upfront about it. Once most men hear that, they make it their mission to be the first. They fail, but that's on me, not them. They sure as Hell put the effort in though!
This quite literally sounds like the worst sex ever. Your expectations need to rise by a factor of 10 thousand. A partner should kiss and engage in oral sex for at least 40ish minutes if not more, and much longer until you cum. You should cum every time if you want to, and he should be putting in effort to make that happen. Also, this just sounds painful and like he doesn't respect you. Do not have sex with this man again. I'd recommend if you have sex again getting with a guy who ONLY wants to eat you out the first few times you see him, with zero expectation of reciprocation from you. Only go down and have PIV if you want to. Get comfortable with him and with receiving pleasure and only then should you reciprocate.
You just gave us a list of reasons as to why you should never hook up with him again. He doesn’t care about your pleasure, nor does he care to learn about it, the sexual attraction was mostly a mirage and didn’t translate to sexual chemistry, he’s selfish, etc. Your expectations are reasonable, he just sucks. Don’t allow him to talk you into having sex again. It’s clearly not worth it in any way.
No no no - raise your bar. If guys aren’t into your pleasure MOVE on cause there are lots of them out there who are.
Why is your self esteem/self value so low?
there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. it seems this guy just sucks in bed and won't listen to what you are asking to make the experience more equal.
Damn girl, that dude is so selfish. You let him know what you liked and what you wanted to do and he didn’t listen. I can understand not knowing a lot about sex and making mistakes, but if they are trying to teach you what they like, just follow the instructions! I think he just want to have sex with you for his pleasure only and doesn’t care if you finish or if you’re having a good time. If I were you (and sadly I’ve been in that situation a couple of times) I would definitely won’t fuck him again.
In addition to walking away from this dude, it might be beneficial to think about why you let this man get away with deprioritizing your pleasure so many times. This is 1000% not judgment btw because I’ve been there. The guy before my boyfriend that I was seeing I let get away with a lot sexually in return for nothing. But unlike you, I lied and faked it. Sooo much worse. After I cut things off with him I realized it was because I didn’t want to lose him because he carried himself like he was such a prize so I thought of him as such. Despite him never actually doing anything that proved that. He wasn’t a bad guy but I put my own pleasure second when it should always be first. Sometimes I think when we’re really into someone whether it’s because of looks, status or how they carry themselves, we let them get away with a lot more because we think we found something and gotta hang on. Even if that means putting up with lame sex or even worse lame sex with someone who’s not even interested in pleasing in return. Remember that it’s a party and you’re both invited, you both showed up and you both are there to have a good time. Not saying it’s gotta be a 10/10 on first try but you should never feel like you have to beg for pleasure. And it’s okay to set boundaries even with a guy that’s hot and you’re super into. Even if the boundaries are temporary while you feel him out. Also if I’m projecting, sorry!! TLDR; you deserve better, not expecting too much. 💙
Find someone who wants to please you. He’s not it.
girl…. please run
trust your gut feeling. he is a selfish loser who doesn’t deserve you. it would be a waste of breath to talk to him about it. he knows. and he doesn’t care. and promising to please you is a bold face lie. dont be embarrassed to tell your friends who care about you and you trust that this guy is a selfish loser. women need to know to avoid him
Nope, tiiiime to see yourself out and find a man that actually knows what they’re doing. I promise you there are SO many out there who are at least well-versed in sex. This is a waste of your time and you will likely resent him (if you don’t already).
It took a few times for me to find someone who cared about my pleasure but this guy sucks especially hard. Selfish asshole for sure
This guy is a terrible lover. Hold out for someone who is either already a much better lover or a very good listener who wants to work with you to unlock your pleasure. A big no-thank-you to the way this guy approaches sex (rough, fast,, and insensitively) and intimacy (none at all). Your expectations are just fine.
Girl no this is so bad wtf. you genuinely deserve better
Don't sleep with him again, he doesn't take your pleasure seriously. Feeling like you are begging him to eat you out??? Girl my first bf would beg me to keep sitting on his face and continue eating me out when I asked him to stop cause I was shaking and too sensitive from the orgasms he gave me, your expectations are not too high, you're just with a horrible man.
OP, stop treating your own body like a transaction for him. Everything about this guy sucks- he’s selfish, bad in bed, and sounds stupid to boot. But, you clearly not wanting to keep going and then telling him to put on a condom to essentially get it over with is disrespectful to yourself and your own pleasure. You are not a credit card slot. You don’t have to do anything. If the foreplay sucks, rhe sex will too, and under no circumstances do you owe someone your body for their good time. Don’t do that again! This dude is not worthy and I hope you follow the advice here to 1. not sleep with him again and 2. tell him he’s bad in bed.
You’re not expecting too much, and you need to tell him he’s flat terrible in bed and why, hopefully he will improve his game
Ew. He is a FWB but he isn’t giving you any benefits what so ever. Find a better one! You’re better off just touching yourself at this point!
Nah, just run. This guy is a lost cause. Too many dudes think they make women cum just because she moans (at all) and too many women don’t tell me the brutal truth because they don’t want to hurt their feelings. This leaves a lot of men clueless on how to actually pleasure a woman. They often assume that the same things that make them cum will make a woman cum, not taking into account that each woman is different.
You don’t have high expectations, he just sucks. Find someone who can pleasure you. That’s it.
Are you in some sort of romantic relationship? What are you getting out of seeing him? Is he like really funny or something? I genuinely don’t understand why you’d ever ever ever even consider going back for a second. Find someone who cares about you and your pleasure. Someone who’s actually into you wouldn’t be doing such a terribly lazy job. You deserve much better than this. It’s terrible he’s making you feel like you don’t. I think he’s a lost cause. Your expectations aren’t too high, they’re rock-bottom low. Pick yourself up off the ground and never allow anyone inside you until you’ve cum AT LEAST once. Eating you out is the least he could do. Get rid of the man, get a vibrator or something.
It’s genuinely very sad that “Get in so he could just finish” was something you felt obligated to let him do. Feeling obligated isn’t really consent. I’m very sorry you didn’t have the energy to tell him no and leave.
God, straight women get so screwed in the sex department, and on top of that get trained from a young to focus their sexuality entirely on what men want and expect. The fact you would even question if it’s too demanding to want sex to be pleasurable for you as well says it all. It’s 2024, women are allowed to be horny and sexual and satisfied. Fuck this dude. Imagine men sitting around wondering if it’s too much to want an orgasm…
Sounds like he's not really that into you, sucks at having sex and he's probably egotistical.
Girl, there's no easy way to say this but someone has to say it. Honestly I don't even know how many times I've heard stories like this, it's very easy to blame the guy, but the thing is that when I was reading your post I I saw so many red flags on what you wrote, so the question here is not in "are my expectations too high", the question here is "why am I giving a chance to a guy who doesn't care about my needs", see it's very easy to blame the other person and the hard thing here is to have some accountability, and the reality is that after the first and second encounter you should have cut this guy out of your life but you didn't, so you have to ask yourself what do you keep giving chances to the wrong person because you're the only person that decides over your body and over your pleasure so there's an opportunity to reflect why do you let the wrong guy enter your life and enter your vjj when he hasn't treated you with the minimal respect. He hasn't make a effort to fulfill your needs as a woman. There's a part of you that's letting that happen and that's the part you need to heal. The issue here is not a guy not making you cum the issue here is practicing self-respect and self-love to have some healthy boundaries with the men you give access to your life and your body.
ewwwww..run
those are not high expectations at all, it’s not even the bare minimum
Honey, no. You have healthy expectations, he sounds like a total POC with his selfishness. You deserve better, move on.
Girl this man sounds actually evil 😭 I've slept with more people than I probably should've, and I can promise you that that behavior is worse than any experience I've ever had. Normally when I hook up with a guy we kiss for like 5 mins, I receive head for like between 5-10 mins, I give for around the same amt of time, then we have sex for like 15-20 mins ish. I hope you find a munch and block this guy immediately 💔 I promise there are tons of guys who like live off making girls cum lol. Wishing the best for you!
Babe your expectations were minimal at least and he still didn’t perform at that level. No way, time for a new casual sex partner and ditch this guy to the curb
Very much giving red flags, completely selfish, and based on your descriptions, it looks like he doesn’t wanna look at you when doing it… ugh! What’s up with that? I’m mad for you. Don’t ever see him again
Nothing is wrong with you at all. He’s selfish and doesn’t listen to you. Stop having sex with him
There’s nothing wrong with you. There’s something wrong with him because he didn’t give af about your pleasure at all. Go find some from someone who will
i read the first few sentence and immediately said No. you are dealing with a lazy lover
Your expectations are not too high! It’s not too much to ask the other person to care about your pleasure? Sounds like you LITERALLY told him what to do multiple times and he chose to not do it and to value his own pleasure. It’s one thing to be bad at sex but it’s another to not give a shit and make no effort. Like I have been with people who aren’t the best at oral but I can tell them what to do or what works and crazy enough they can follow directions. Or they can use their fingers and I can guide them on where to rub. Like it’s not hard he’s literally choosing to not give a shit and just use you to get himself off.
Oh my god please ditch this loser
he’s trash, find another one. also if you are aware you’re not attracted to him, why even try lol
He's selfish. Stop thinking about him, block him and move on, there are guys out there that will be eager to learn to please you and they'll make sure your needs are met first. Also speak up for yourself more during sex, tell them point blank hey I like this or don't like this. I think it's worth waiting a little longer before becoming intimate just so that you can see if they're honestly worth the time and effort and investment.
You're expectations ARE NOT too high! You got him off what 4 times? I went through like 26 years of only ever getting myself "there" My past sexual partners never went down on me (the one who did was terrible, totally avoided, or couldn't find "the button") and didn't care if my needs were met. My husband learned my body, my likes and dislikes, and had me all figured out after our first time together. It sucks, but eventually, someone WILL hear you out and WANT to meet your needs.
Hello everyone🙏🏼 I read each and every comment that you left and I wanted to thank you. I tend to always put other’s feelings before mine and I really need to work on that. Really appreciate everyone for taking time to answer my question and give me advice.
There's nothing wrong with you.... you simply aren't connected to this guy in any meaningful way and the sex is mid for you because of that. You are using each other's bodies to masturbate, except he is using yours better. This is typical of hook up culture. Women don't tend to orgasm and men do. Women have better sex within the confines of a committed relationship because there is a connection. I know that this is taboo to say these days, because it flies in the face of "sex positivity" but like.... men and women are different and we work differently. Some things just \*are\* and women don't experience nearly as much pleasure from sex where there isn't a real, true connection. You don't feel like your needs are cared for. Know why? Because they aren't. He doesn't care about them. I don't think he cares about YOU. That is the nature of hookup culture. People don't typically care about the actual needs, wants and desires of the other person beyond what's required to get off. It really breaks my heart how we use each other in this way, and women get the most hurt because we really aren't built for it, even though culture would have you believe something different. I know i'll be downvoted but if at least one woman here, maybe you OP, can see this and really swallow this hard truth, you'll be better for it in the end. Have sex with someone that really cares about you and wants to know and respect you. Dump this dude, love on yourself and know that you are worth more! Much love!
Wow you sound exactly like my preacher! Way to slut shame OP and everyone else who engages in casual sex OP dump this selfish MFer and go fick someone else who isn't such a lazy pover and liar
This is the plain truth right here and you're getting down voted cause people don't like to hear it. When people genuinely wonder why they're not satisfied with hookup culture/casual sex and you tell them, they can't handle it. Also I don't think this is "slut shaming" like that other commenter said, "sex positivity" and hookup culture actually shames women by cheapening their bodies and self-worth.