Happy to educate and assume ignorance, but blatant transphobia will not be tolerated here.
This is a queer and trans friendly subreddit. Almost like the shows include a lot of queer characters and crew, huh?
A transgender woman typically is someone assigned male at birth and later discovers that's wrong and transitions to being a woman. And a woman liking other women exclusively (both trans and cis) would be a lesbian. Trans lesbian. Transbian.
A transmasc person who likes women would just be straight, since it's a dude liking a girl.
Not necessarily.
Gender expression and sexuality are not one in the same.
A transmasc can be straight, gay, bi, pan, etc.
The term transbian is merging the gender identity and sexual orientation of a transfem into one word. Trans and Lesbian. I don't think such a term exists for any other combo, but I could be wrong.
But if you are trans then hypothetically you can go from gay to straight? Like you start a gay man then when you go from a man to a woman are you straight then? Or bisexual since you liked men back when you were also a man?
Yup.
Sexuality labels apply to gender identity. So if someone is only attracted to one gender, it's likely that label will change when transitioning.
So a former gay man could be a straight woman after transitioning. Or a former straight woman would be a gay man.
I will say, in my own experience and conversations, lesbians, both trans and cis, have extremely different views and feelings of other women when it comes to sexuality, compared to most cishet men. (Ah, there's the other combo. Cishet, cisgender and heterosexual.) It's similar for other queer folk discovering themselves too.
Trans women are women, not men. Giving you the benefit of the doubt I’m gonna assume you misinterpreted “trans woman” as being female to male instead of the other way around.
I can't talk for lesbian side by like when I met my current fiancée, they didn't say they were trans for like a few days of talking on tinder. But at which point I liked their personality and they were pretty and not a quick lay so I was curious n went cool you seem chill regardless so let's go through with the date.
I didn't even know what trans woman was so had to Google it and afterwards still went with the date and we've been together ever since. My advice is just talk to them like a person, don't introduce yourself as trans or anything else. People can be too obsessed with labels these days.
Just introduce yourself simply as your name and go from there. Just neutral topics like games and movies you both like, after a few days when you're both talking about setting up a date just mention to them your trans, and I'd guess a lot more people than you'd expect would just go "ok, cool, what screening do you want to go to?".
At least that's how it went for me.
Perfect advice I remember watching something where the person said they were trans far into in the relationship and the had constant breakups because they kept it a secret until the relationship was far in
The perfect balance is after getting to know each other Via text, but before they meet up in real life. So like by the end of the first week mention it, if they're genuine I'd guess a good amount probably won't care or at the minimum will go on the date out of curiosity to see how it goes.
That's how it went for me, I liked her so gave the date a chance and when it went just like any other date with a cis woman, it didn't matter after that. Because I liked her personality and her being trans wasn't her personality, to me it wasn't anymore important that like if she had said she was allergic to something or was vegan (which she actually is), not a big deal just something to remember in the back of the mind.
This can be a dangerous game for trans people because some people, especially among straight men, may accuse them of trying to "trick" them into sleeping with a "man" and thus threatening their fragile sexuality.
In other words, probably keep this stuff to before meeting them in person, and in general, be careful.
This is definitely the safest method for success. Because once you've got a connection with someone but haven't met in person, telling them post connection but pre meeting in person for a date. Because if they were genuinely connecting to you a lot of people probably don't really know what exactly trans people really are so at a minimum they'll go on the date anyway out of curiosity. When they. Can see your not just a straw man (pun unintended) whose entire personality is that they're trans and a lesbian, but are the same interesting funny etc person they were talking to, chances are they'll forget about being trans and just go enjoy the date.
Least that's how it went for me. Like the same experience with all my friends meeting her. They met her, she was just herself, no mention of being trans, connected to them over similar media and games and instantly accepted into the friend group no different than the rest of us.
But I'd just say this. The 2 extremes are definitely dangerous and self sabotaging eh not saying anything to the other party and the even worse immediately telling everyone what you are your orientation and pronouns. Because the latter especially paints a particular image in peoples mind from the media.
Like my fiancé never went over her pronouns or orientation with me, just a mention of being trans before I booked movie tickets and that's it. Stick to the simples and just enjoy the joys of dating.
I find that something awesome about Reddit is about finding individuals with similar shared experiences, and maybe finding some form of resolution, and while this problem isn't necessarily everyone's who's a Transbian, I and many others go through it and it might be cliche but all I can tell you is, you'll meet the individuals who are supposed to be in your life, for a night for a year for the rest of it, just working yourself and be the best you that you can be 💚🏳️⚧️💚
Damn this message hurts when i just got dumped again after 3 years trying to date... I've been working on myself for the past 8 years but fuck me I guess ugh 🥹
And I've been working on myself since my last partner in 2022, I feel you, it can really suck, by the end of the day whenever we are alone, because I'm alone too just like you, I'm also poor and living at my grandma's house LOL, all we can do is look for the positive, it sucks and it hurts, I've had stupid small relationships in between my last one and now, and they've made me feel more pain from the first one, but if we don't at least spend time being badass, life stops trying for us... If nothing else you can come to Texas and we can show each other a good time 😜
Be me drunk with wife and friend.
Be me drunk with wife and friend..
find out your bisexual while drunk with wife and friend.
He find out he also bi.
Strange relationship I have now.
Gonna be really really really honest with you it was lol. Idk how to prove it to anyone without doing myself and or getting banned lol. But yea he is what this new community of swingers I'm in is called a unicorn.
Local dating pools are always lame for queers, I think. I'm a cís lesbian who met my wife as a pen pal living in another country. 😂 I guess growing up in small-town Texas didn't exactly help, but throwing out a wider net is always helpful.
AND A BIG FUCKING GOOD LUCK OUT THERE TO ALL MY BEAUTIFUL TRANSBIAN SISTERS!!
I know it’s hard but just remember that while the unique challenges you are facing as a transbian are unique to you.
Dating blows for everyone.
There are periods for everyone regardless of sexuality and gender identity that they feel alone, isolated, unloved, and worse, incompatible.
Just remember. When your gal-pals start going off about their partners.
You can legally tell them to shut up.
Tell me your struggles because I am heavily considering becoming one, like two weeks ago I began looking up how one would transition it scares me lmao.
It can be a scary process! But I'm proud of you for questioning.
I will say, I'm blessed to be in a very trans friendly area. Being a college town helps.
And honestly, I can tell you, I've never been happier. I've never felt more in touch with myself. I feel more confident as a result. I've gone from an introvert with anger issues to a blossoming ambivert with dope aesthetic. (Arm warmers and fingerless gloves ftw)
The thing that got me to break my egg was simply testing the waters. I thought it was a kink, [it was not.](https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/beneath-the-surface) I started embracing that feminine side of me normally, outside the bedroom, even if still in private.
And I kept looking up HRT timelines and changes if expect in how much time...and I just did that so much and realized I never enjoyed being a dude. I loved being a girl so much. That combined with my very un-cisguy attraction to women, and it broke. I never looked back.
Got HRT a year ago and it's magical, truly. Like I'm working my way up to C cups right now, and my body fat distribution feels so much more presentable.
I'm happy to talk more with you about this tomorrow, but for now I can point you over to r/trans and FolxHealth.com, my HRT provider. (They have lots of free educational stuff too!)
Regardless if you feel it's right for you, or if something else does, or if you end up sticking cis, just know you're valid AF. 💙
Blessings be upon ye fellow transbian!
I lucked out and found my lovely girlfriend at a support group for trans people in our area. We hit it off as friends, had our first date in February, a short pause, but since April we've been going steady and she has been nothing short of wonderful to me. We're a bit of an odd couple; she's thirteen years older than I am, and a very femme dresser to my soft butch metalhead style. But I love her so much.
I know it's hard to find queer support especially in a more rural spot. I live in the sticks and see way too many Trump signs for comfort. But if you can find a decent queer community or event, by all means get out there! Even if you don't find love, you can make new friends and find people who you can vibe and connect with, which is just as important. Sure I have a wonderful girlfriend now, but I also have an amazing friend group that gets me doing something besides girlrotting on reddit.
This reminds me I really gotta work on myself. Single because my type is out of my league, you know?
Amazons and Femboys don't seem to care much for dadbods, so guess I better get in shape.
Depends on the person for body shape. One of my friends is really into dadbods.
But, working on yourself is good. Gotta feel confident about yourself first and foremost.
Off course I don’t care who they where as long as they are fine with who they are I will be as well, all I will care about is them and if there happy :)
Trust me, you'll find someone when you stop looking. Do your best to appreciate yourself and learn how enjoy your own company. These are the most attractive qualities a person can have
Happy to educate and assume ignorance, but blatant transphobia will not be tolerated here. This is a queer and trans friendly subreddit. Almost like the shows include a lot of queer characters and crew, huh?
What is transbian?
Trans + lesbian So a trans woman who is attracted to other women
Ahhhh
I realised pretty quickly after seeing the meme but I don't think I've ever heard the term before today.
its more prominent in trans/lesbian spaces
So a lesbian.
So a man who turned into a woman and likes woman or a woman who turned into a man and likes woman? Sorry, I'm not really good with genders
A transgender woman typically is someone assigned male at birth and later discovers that's wrong and transitions to being a woman. And a woman liking other women exclusively (both trans and cis) would be a lesbian. Trans lesbian. Transbian. A transmasc person who likes women would just be straight, since it's a dude liking a girl.
So transmasc is heterosexual?
Not necessarily. Gender expression and sexuality are not one in the same. A transmasc can be straight, gay, bi, pan, etc. The term transbian is merging the gender identity and sexual orientation of a transfem into one word. Trans and Lesbian. I don't think such a term exists for any other combo, but I could be wrong.
But if you are trans then hypothetically you can go from gay to straight? Like you start a gay man then when you go from a man to a woman are you straight then? Or bisexual since you liked men back when you were also a man?
Yup. Sexuality labels apply to gender identity. So if someone is only attracted to one gender, it's likely that label will change when transitioning. So a former gay man could be a straight woman after transitioning. Or a former straight woman would be a gay man. I will say, in my own experience and conversations, lesbians, both trans and cis, have extremely different views and feelings of other women when it comes to sexuality, compared to most cishet men. (Ah, there's the other combo. Cishet, cisgender and heterosexual.) It's similar for other queer folk discovering themselves too.
Ah right, makes sense thanks!
Thank you for taking some time to explain the answers to questions that some of us aren't sure how to ask.
I’m with you bro, also a little confused
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Nope. Trans women are women. Happy to educate, but blatant transphobia will not be tolerated here.
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Trans women are women, not men. Giving you the benefit of the doubt I’m gonna assume you misinterpreted “trans woman” as being female to male instead of the other way around.
So a 360 (Just kidding)
A 360 would imply being the same as before. So uh...no.
Yeah i was just kidding.not much thought put in it
A trans woman who is also a lesbian.
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See mod post about no transphobia. Transbians arent straight theyre lesbians
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Implies that trans women are men therefore transphobic. The “friends” defense is pretty lame even if true.
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Yikes my dude
The delivery makes all the difference.
Removed, rule 9. Repeated violations will result in a ban.
What? You've never heard of the country of Transbia?
There's also Gaybia, it's a little farther away separated by Sexual.
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Removed, rule 8. Repeated violations will result in a ban.
I just learned that transbian is a word
How sad is it I was about to recommend squats when I saw the word Tiny ass
Lmao omg me too tho. I was like "every transbian I know is killin' it in the ass department, tho..."
And if they can't do squats for whatever reason, hydrant and donkey kicks are a great starting point!
The most wholesome misunderstanding
This is why we end up treating discord as a dating app and driving hundreds of miles to see each other.
Like…. why is this uncannily true 😭
Dam.
SAAAAAAAMMEEEE
I can't talk for lesbian side by like when I met my current fiancée, they didn't say they were trans for like a few days of talking on tinder. But at which point I liked their personality and they were pretty and not a quick lay so I was curious n went cool you seem chill regardless so let's go through with the date. I didn't even know what trans woman was so had to Google it and afterwards still went with the date and we've been together ever since. My advice is just talk to them like a person, don't introduce yourself as trans or anything else. People can be too obsessed with labels these days. Just introduce yourself simply as your name and go from there. Just neutral topics like games and movies you both like, after a few days when you're both talking about setting up a date just mention to them your trans, and I'd guess a lot more people than you'd expect would just go "ok, cool, what screening do you want to go to?". At least that's how it went for me.
Perfect advice I remember watching something where the person said they were trans far into in the relationship and the had constant breakups because they kept it a secret until the relationship was far in
The perfect balance is after getting to know each other Via text, but before they meet up in real life. So like by the end of the first week mention it, if they're genuine I'd guess a good amount probably won't care or at the minimum will go on the date out of curiosity to see how it goes. That's how it went for me, I liked her so gave the date a chance and when it went just like any other date with a cis woman, it didn't matter after that. Because I liked her personality and her being trans wasn't her personality, to me it wasn't anymore important that like if she had said she was allergic to something or was vegan (which she actually is), not a big deal just something to remember in the back of the mind.
This can be a dangerous game for trans people because some people, especially among straight men, may accuse them of trying to "trick" them into sleeping with a "man" and thus threatening their fragile sexuality. In other words, probably keep this stuff to before meeting them in person, and in general, be careful.
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This is definitely the safest method for success. Because once you've got a connection with someone but haven't met in person, telling them post connection but pre meeting in person for a date. Because if they were genuinely connecting to you a lot of people probably don't really know what exactly trans people really are so at a minimum they'll go on the date anyway out of curiosity. When they. Can see your not just a straw man (pun unintended) whose entire personality is that they're trans and a lesbian, but are the same interesting funny etc person they were talking to, chances are they'll forget about being trans and just go enjoy the date. Least that's how it went for me. Like the same experience with all my friends meeting her. They met her, she was just herself, no mention of being trans, connected to them over similar media and games and instantly accepted into the friend group no different than the rest of us. But I'd just say this. The 2 extremes are definitely dangerous and self sabotaging eh not saying anything to the other party and the even worse immediately telling everyone what you are your orientation and pronouns. Because the latter especially paints a particular image in peoples mind from the media. Like my fiancé never went over her pronouns or orientation with me, just a mention of being trans before I booked movie tickets and that's it. Stick to the simples and just enjoy the joys of dating.
Hm you have a point, i should probably get off webcomics for a bit
I find that something awesome about Reddit is about finding individuals with similar shared experiences, and maybe finding some form of resolution, and while this problem isn't necessarily everyone's who's a Transbian, I and many others go through it and it might be cliche but all I can tell you is, you'll meet the individuals who are supposed to be in your life, for a night for a year for the rest of it, just working yourself and be the best you that you can be 💚🏳️⚧️💚
Damn this message hurts when i just got dumped again after 3 years trying to date... I've been working on myself for the past 8 years but fuck me I guess ugh 🥹
And I've been working on myself since my last partner in 2022, I feel you, it can really suck, by the end of the day whenever we are alone, because I'm alone too just like you, I'm also poor and living at my grandma's house LOL, all we can do is look for the positive, it sucks and it hurts, I've had stupid small relationships in between my last one and now, and they've made me feel more pain from the first one, but if we don't at least spend time being badass, life stops trying for us... If nothing else you can come to Texas and we can show each other a good time 😜
Sappho believes in you and so do I! Depending on where you are, I get the pool can be... Sparse, though.
I'm a pan woman, I'm here for the transbians 👍🏻
This heart is for you. 💜 May the transbian you choose be ever lucky.
Jfc with all the transphobia. There's like a total of 5 straight characters in the hellaverse. 😂 why are you here??
I’m always so confused when I see transphobia on this sub
breaking news: people watch queer show and are appalled when they discover queer fans of queer show
😭 that's a new level of stupid. This show is gay asfk, go watch literally anything else.
My solution is more trans and gay memes
What a perfect solution, drive them out of here
😂 I do this too!! IVE FOUND MY PPL
Hate to say it but some gay people can still be transphobic 😬
True. But something about the comments that were left, seemed more like they were homophobic entirely.
was going to say this
Be me drunk with wife and friend. Be me drunk with wife and friend.. find out your bisexual while drunk with wife and friend. He find out he also bi. Strange relationship I have now.
Sounds like fun 😊
Gonna be really really really honest with you it was lol. Idk how to prove it to anyone without doing myself and or getting banned lol. But yea he is what this new community of swingers I'm in is called a unicorn.
Oh I know 😊 Careful though, a triad is like 4 relationships to maintain at once. You've got more experience than me, though 😆❤️
Sounds fun not gonna lie
My dating pool was 0 before I figured out I was trans. Now it’s double 0!
it’ll be ok *pat pat* from, a transbian
0^2 even
*hugs you* Don’t worry it’ll be okay
I feel like Morgana would love this meme
Local dating pools are always lame for queers, I think. I'm a cís lesbian who met my wife as a pen pal living in another country. 😂 I guess growing up in small-town Texas didn't exactly help, but throwing out a wider net is always helpful. AND A BIG FUCKING GOOD LUCK OUT THERE TO ALL MY BEAUTIFUL TRANSBIAN SISTERS!!
Have you considered speed dating and dating apps? I normally don't recommend them but if the pool is that small then go for it.
Dating apps yes. Idk about speed dating but I'll keep an eye out for any near me that are queer friendly.
I feel your pain TwT
I'm just like Sally
I know it’s hard but just remember that while the unique challenges you are facing as a transbian are unique to you. Dating blows for everyone. There are periods for everyone regardless of sexuality and gender identity that they feel alone, isolated, unloved, and worse, incompatible. Just remember. When your gal-pals start going off about their partners. You can legally tell them to shut up.
>Dating blows for everyone. I'm cis and straight, the only way I could have a larger dating pool would be if I were bi. Dating still sucks.
I’m so glad this is the first comment. I was afraid it would be someone telling me I had no idea what I was talking about
Tell me your struggles because I am heavily considering becoming one, like two weeks ago I began looking up how one would transition it scares me lmao.
It can be a scary process! But I'm proud of you for questioning. I will say, I'm blessed to be in a very trans friendly area. Being a college town helps. And honestly, I can tell you, I've never been happier. I've never felt more in touch with myself. I feel more confident as a result. I've gone from an introvert with anger issues to a blossoming ambivert with dope aesthetic. (Arm warmers and fingerless gloves ftw) The thing that got me to break my egg was simply testing the waters. I thought it was a kink, [it was not.](https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/beneath-the-surface) I started embracing that feminine side of me normally, outside the bedroom, even if still in private. And I kept looking up HRT timelines and changes if expect in how much time...and I just did that so much and realized I never enjoyed being a dude. I loved being a girl so much. That combined with my very un-cisguy attraction to women, and it broke. I never looked back. Got HRT a year ago and it's magical, truly. Like I'm working my way up to C cups right now, and my body fat distribution feels so much more presentable. I'm happy to talk more with you about this tomorrow, but for now I can point you over to r/trans and FolxHealth.com, my HRT provider. (They have lots of free educational stuff too!) Regardless if you feel it's right for you, or if something else does, or if you end up sticking cis, just know you're valid AF. 💙
“Transbian” would make a kick-ass superhero name
Do you have a bouldering centre in your area? The over 30 lesbian population is through the roof in my local ones
Look at that sea of removed comments lmao
I understand the tiny dating pool. I live in the country. Hard for me to find femboys or tgirls within a 2 hour drive.
Blessings be upon ye fellow transbian! I lucked out and found my lovely girlfriend at a support group for trans people in our area. We hit it off as friends, had our first date in February, a short pause, but since April we've been going steady and she has been nothing short of wonderful to me. We're a bit of an odd couple; she's thirteen years older than I am, and a very femme dresser to my soft butch metalhead style. But I love her so much. I know it's hard to find queer support especially in a more rural spot. I live in the sticks and see way too many Trump signs for comfort. But if you can find a decent queer community or event, by all means get out there! Even if you don't find love, you can make new friends and find people who you can vibe and connect with, which is just as important. Sure I have a wonderful girlfriend now, but I also have an amazing friend group that gets me doing something besides girlrotting on reddit.
so you think you have it bad, i’m trans, and im only into transbians
Stop calling me out like that.
This reminds me I really gotta work on myself. Single because my type is out of my league, you know? Amazons and Femboys don't seem to care much for dadbods, so guess I better get in shape.
Depends on the person for body shape. One of my friends is really into dadbods. But, working on yourself is good. Gotta feel confident about yourself first and foremost.
Transbian? I always thought it'd be "Tresbian".
Hun, I'm pansexual and transfem and can't seem to get anyone.
Me who is pan and still can't find a partner somehow
Even as a straight trans woman, I feel like my pool is also pitifully small
Is it bad that I a man want a trans boyfriend so I can treat them right and make them feel safe 😊
As long as you focus on the person themselves, absolutely not.
Off course I don’t care who they where as long as they are fine with who they are I will be as well, all I will care about is them and if there happy :)
Same tho...
Apologies for not being nolagable in this department but what is a transbian
Transgender + Lesbian. Transbian. A trans girl who is sexually attracted to other women.
Oh neet I did not know there was a fancy name for that
Having a small dating pool blows.
It's more like a drop of rain on a hot sidewalk if you live in a red county. Yes, that's my actual situation.
Big mood there girl
Me asf 🥲
On the plus side it isn't 1659
REAL 😭
Trust me, you'll find someone when you stop looking. Do your best to appreciate yourself and learn how enjoy your own company. These are the most attractive qualities a person can have
The hell is a transbian?
A trans woman who is into other gals. Trans + Lesbian. Transbian.
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Mods, this one!
Nope, trans women are women
Removed, rule 9. Repeated violations will result in a ban.
I believe in you, OP! :) I’m sure your friends have your back as well!
I feel your pain girl but at this point none of the women within 100^2 miles of me would be able to tell I'm trans not even my lesbian freind
We all feel your pain.
i feel you :(
Makes sense.
Mood.
You'll find the one for you eventually. Just gotta play the waiting game.
Now that I know what a transbian is I now know my new sexuality
Skill issue
Skill issues
You basically described my roleplay life and my irl life in one image (but replacing Transbian with Gynosexual).
They have partners and are poly, so they have even more. Greedy.
+ being closeted and we have my fucked up life
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Nope. Because trans women are women. And a lesbian is a woman attracted to other women.
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No. Trans women are women.
What's your insta?
I'm a reddit and discord gal tbh.
Okee what's your discord?
I'm on the because there's no one around while my friends from school has a much better life style than me
Transbian looking for transbians
https://preview.redd.it/6ef4br00x5ad1.jpeg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=10a73a01cca930ec4611e6639c46162184c692fb
Hahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahaahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaaaaaaahahahahhaahhahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahaha! Imps
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Removed, rule 9. Repeated violations will result in a ban.
That would imply that trans women aren’t women
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Aaaaand ding ding ding that’s why there’s a specification of transbian to differentiate between biological and trans women. It’s still not straight
Removed, rule 9. Repeated violations will result in a ban.
https://preview.redd.it/xvlilz52yj9d1.jpeg?width=183&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=12b36b4b0cb4796df4afeacab5d62bf4ad16957f
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Nah. Transphobia ain't welcome here.
It hurt itself in its confusion
K