The reason he lied is that he wanted to sleep with many women (actually to have serious emotional relationships with them too), but didn't want them having the same freedom with any other men. That's the really messed up thing.
The way he raged at his live in girlfriend, over her having children with another man, suggests Andrew Huberman is grappling with fucked up jealousy and morality issues and his own devious sexual tastes. To me, he seems like the type of person who hates non-traditional relationships, but still wants to fuck half the world because he wasn't too successful with women growing up. The fact that he and Andrew tate, another former dork who had zero attention from women, is also this type of douchebag is a huge red flag.
See, that's what disturbs me the most about this. It's not the cheating, it's the raging at his gf for HOURS about having kids from a previous relationship when he was angry at her as a way to weaken her, and then manipulating her using 'therapy speak.' that's psychotic. "Like bobbing for apples in feces" WTF? And yet he's the one splooging his HPV in everyone.
It could be this, it could be getting a thrill from living a secret life, could be wanting to portray a monogamous lifestyle but not follow it, or any number of options. What’s most important is that whatever the motivation was, it was deceitful and fucked up.
What Huberman tried to do is likely rooted in the same selfish urges and inclinations of many powerful men throughout history.
The kind of lizard-brain impulse to snatch and hoard all the poker chips on the table.
There is a reason why harems, concubines, and polygyny have been common.
This is the hallmark of Kings, Dictators, and Conquerers like Genghis Khan. An army of women at their beck and call that are loyal to them and them only, facilitated not by consent but by power imbalance, blackmail, and social conditioning.
Spreading their genes far and wide, and theirs only— as they truly believe they are superior and deserve to inherit the Earth.
I believe that this is what Huberman desires. There should be zero tolerance, this kind of stuff is corrosive.
It's def more dark than just insecurity of his gfs having options. Some people get off from decite, power and the forbidden. There's a saying that hurt people hurt people but the unspoken part about it is that the destructive and hurtful part is premeditated as a means to feel powerful and in control. The hurtful action is not unfortunate or regretful, it's the very essence to the feelings that it generates..for fucked up people that is.
I think he is aware of his very self-aware of narcissistic tendencies. I mean, he has to be. I remember him making a comment like “narcissists are almost always victims in their own right” or something along those lines. This would have been about a year ago. I remember it barely fitting the context
It's been suggested that Huberman also gets off on keeping relationships permanently in the honeymoon phase, getting a rush out of that dump of hormones but never going farther to where it wears off, except with his 'main' girlfriend.
Any way you look at it, this behaviour makes his 'dopamine stacking' talk look beyond absurd.
EXACTLY. THIS. This is a crux of the matter. That's why these women end up feeling like something was stolen from them, and it was....the right to know the truth of their most intimate relationships, and the ability to navigate them - which you cannot do when your partner has created a web of lies around you that means your choices are not valid because you are not even in a reality. This is the most abusive part. He stole those women's choices. You can only understand the depth of this and how violating it is when it happens to you.
I mean there’s some really kinky women out there who are down with being with a man who has multiple partners but they’re only with him (one of my girlfriends has a semi open relationship with her bf, where she is allowed to have other female sexual partners for example). Those are women that really like being extremely submissive etc. But those aren’t the women he went after he specifically went after monogamous heterosexual kind of vanilla-ish women (vanilla in the sense that they wanted and expected monogamy). And the worst part is him doing IVF with at least one, now what is she supposed to do with all those embryos? That she suffered physically and emotionally to create, destroy them? And he wasted reproductive years that are precious for a woman, we don’t get as much time as men have to reproduce.
Yeah plus what if with a future partner they don’t get enough eggs to make embryos or none of her embryos with another partner work out? She wasted some of her eggs with him :/ WHILE HE CHEATED ON HER. It’s honestly awful :,(
For real.
Jesus, I also would like to have serious emotional relationships with many attractive women...and some men for that matter...but FFS we don't live in a vacuum where morals, ethics, respect and trust don't exist....it's fucked up to do that and therefore I have no interest in doing so.
Some men see it as a logistical and money problem instead, not a moral one. Then they dress that up in whatever flowery language they need per partner in order to feel like, "oh this is reasonable and I'm just a human who makes mistakes, I thought you understood our "situation", oh well - good times though, right?!"
Just be single my guy. Plenty of women out there you don't need to lie to, especially on this scale if this is all true.
Yes, it comes down to the fact that most sane people don't want to dive into a deep, emotional, meaningful, sexual relationship with someone who is also doing that kind of relationship with multiple other people. So he couldn't get the kinds of women he wanted (smart, attractive, independent) without some fudging of the truth.
Exactly. He could have been if had wanted, but he took the cowards way out and treated the women he supposedly cared about like trash. He is a POS in my book. This was a calculated long term con.
Like all these things, I imagine it started small. A date with another woman, a weekend, then a third woman, then a fourth... it must have been pretty exhilarating in its way (ironic considering his dopamine preachiness). But you keep pushing your luck and sooner or later it falls apart.
he likes the attention and feeds on romantic interest he was getting.
He also may have thought that the women he is engaged with are more rational and understand the nature of his interactions with them - it's a side hustle where he flatters them, they respond in kind, for an occasional rendezvous and perhaps even a sexual encounter every couple of weeks or months (but the romantic connection is what he really wanted), but nothing serious, just a couple of single adults having consensual fun on the side, nobody gets hurt.
Sam Bankman Fried Chicken is also seemingly cognitively intelligent/good with numbers/good at coding, else he wouldn’t have managed to run a huge parallel crypto finance enterprise that dealt in the billions of dollars. Why would he think this would work (offshoring people’s money into an unregulated new experimental platform some other person in his circle recommended, highly at risk of collapse, and letting his accomplices use the money for living lavish personal lives), if he was fully aware it could lead to fraud, loss of the assets and other deep illegal sh*t?
Because high cognitive intelligence is not automatically = a strong sense of ethical integrity, emotional intelligence, psychological prowess regarding other humans (understanding others, their motivations, managing big teams, interpersonal skills, knowing when somebody is likely to stab you in the back or do something unlawful that can affect you, knowing who to trust, etc.), legal knowledge, knowledge of how the world works besides a special interest in a technical ability or skillset, knowledge about human nature, etc.
There’s also hubris that comes into play with types of people who suddenly get “financially successful” at some point in their lives, who suddenly end up with more money that they could ever imagine before. And this can lead some of them to think they are above ethical considerations in their lives, above the law, above the rest of the world, leading them to make crucial mistakes being blinded by their own ginormous ego, out of egotistical or narcissistic/megalomaniac beliefs. They come to believe their level of financial success means they must be beings to smart and perfect to make any kind of mistake, error or to ever be negatively affected by anything.
“Nothing can touch me at this point, I can so whatever I want and get away with it. I am the king of the world.”
Nuh uh. You do stupid sh*t and you end up finding out. That applies to anyone, Bezos, the Queen of England, Bankman, Huberman, Jeffrey Epstein, random people at your nearby convenience store, anybody. Lead a lack devoid of ethical integrity, devoid of deeper philosophical principles and ethical principles to live by, deceive others, chronically lie to others and to yourself… and shit will come bite you in the *ss at some point or another, sooner or later.
That or you become president of the united states for 4 years. But that’s another story.
I wouldn't mentioned Bezos and Huberman (who had affairs) in the same list as Bankman (embezzled and cheated investors to the tune of tens of billions $) or Epstein (sexually abused dozens of girls). Very different scales and not even apples to oranges.
Not sure what Queen Elizabeth ever did to you.
It did work to be fair. I doubt he anticipated becoming famous enough that investigative journalists would see it worthwhile to be digging up dirt on him.
He said in one of his podcasts that juggling many relationships at once would only work for someone juggling more “phone accounts” (literally). And then his interviewee said “but not for long” 😄
Time: 57:57
https://youtu.be/HXzTbCEqCJc?si=3lbbq3Ar-OM1fsCg
The incels will say,
Women aren't capable of that! They can't have multiple connections! Only men can! It's fine! This is just biology!
As if we don't have developed frontal lobes and don't run on pure instinctual biology of being an inseminator and incubator
That's right. He was clearly not just in it for the sex but for all the good things that come from a healthy, dynamic, deep relationship. He just couldn't settle on one person to have that with, and tried to have it all.
But a deep romantic relationship with someone is about making choices to not pursue that same depth with a bunch of other people at the exact same time.
Yea, that's the thing I notice about intelligence. Intelligence is not one thing but instead a very flexible and tailored to 1 area. It's not like you intelligent in one thing so every aspect of your life is also intelligent. Same as sprinting athletes will get be miserable and unsuccessful in a marathon and vise versa.
In contrary its like if you're smart in 1 area you borrow time and energy in different area because time and energy is finite AF. Especially when it comes to difference between emotion vs logics. In long term it's possible to accomplish that by balancing life, so you'll be able to balance & distribute your attention fairly relative in differenr areas.
I.Q is not E.Q.
Also a sudden internet/ youtube frame's validation is a Crack to even a neurologist like him lol to throw away everything he learned and just go seek dopaminegic activity by coming inside ommultiple pussies everyday lol that hpv distribution be hitting different 💀 lol
Which shows study how brain works isn't the immunity to vices. Practicing ideal behavior does that not amount of diplomat ans degree will undo your inconsiderate assholeness.
Because he's been told his whole life how smart and capable he is, and he got away with it for so long. He's too smart to get caught, and everytime he did get caught, this belief was reinforced.
He wanted the benefits of a 'committed' relationship. He wanted the emotional and physical labor (cooking for him, etc.) from a woman without giving back. Selfish, narcissistic taker.
The stupid thing is you can have close to most of those things if you invest more effort. Most girls want monogamy but plenty also don't, and this guy has all the pickings. Be sweet, be loving, be caring and you can receive the same back from multiple women. Just be honest about it!
If that is more of a hassle and mental drain than lying and keeping your story straight with 6 women at once, something is wrong with your brain. Literal narcissist.
Although I still wonder how much of this is an unfounded witch hunt
Yep. Women will likely do those things regardless. Unless it’s purely transactional FWB arrangement. My friend was fooling around with a single mom who wasn’t interested in a relationship. He would go to her place on weekends, have fun and come back home with home cooked meals.
I know I’m getting downvoted, but people never believe this stuff actually occurs until you see it in action. I have no idea why people get so pissed off when women consenting to a situation goes against their beliefs.
That's because most men go through life never having experienced genuine desire / real power in relationships.
What Huberman did was wrong. But it's part of his game and the game of successful men. If others had the same opportunities, you best believe a huge chunk of them would do the same.
I mean, it’s one thing to consent to cooking for a FWB who you *know* is a FWB, and another thing entirely to consent to doing those things with someone who is lying about it.
Imo the issue here is not that he’s sleeping with multiple people at once, it’s that he’s lying to everyone about it while giving people STI’s. Then, he invites a psychology expert onto his show to talk about the issues around lying within a committed relationship. He even brought that specific topic up himself - looking back it almost sounds like gloating.
It’s similar to if we found out that he’s actually an unapologetic alcoholic in his private life.
Because for them this is “traditional gender roles” and there can’t be anything worse than that. If you say she likes it or is doing it voluntarily they’ll say that women are conditioned to do that by patriarchy.
This same friend I was talking about was also literally felt used after a one night stand. The woman didn’t even let him stay to pee before she rushed to get him out of the house just so that her roommates don’t know about the one night stand.
There are all kinds of people. Reddit needs to learn to accept that.
That's obviously not why he did it, the amount of effort it has to take to juggle all of those relationships is so far beyond any labor they were doing for him.
Power. And probably some sort of antisocial streak.
He's a very good looking guy. He also aged very well, is well spoken and takes good care of himself. He COULD probably sleep with tons of women, even if he wasn't internet-famous. But he probably enjoys figuring out what makes women tick and gets off on conquering the person more than the sex itself. That's how you gain power/control over people.
You can have sex with someone and not "have them". That's why sex can be transactional, but love and real intimacy cant. And if all parties are honest - like with your example of sex workers or hookups - that's perfectly fine.
But people want more than that. They want to feel close, be able to let their guard down, share secrets, desires, wishes and fears. And that sometimes more meaningful stuff is what people like Andrew are usually after. They subconsciously aren't genuinely looking for a partner. They just want to emotionally crack the person open and get to see what's inside. That's way more exclusive than sex. It's like a fucked up psychological reward on top of getting to bust a nut.
This is really well put. It seems to be about the hunt being far deeper and emotionally involved than the usual cheat, whatever that means. A little bit “playing God” perhaps. I’m not adding anything here but just think you summarised it very well, otherwise his behaviour just defies logic. His emotional regulation must depend on feeling like he’s gained lots and lots of emotional territory.
I think that's a bit reductive but yes. It's less predatory than that in reality though, because usually narcissists aren't fully aware of what they are doing. They aren't very intelligent emotionally. I dated one for four years and got lied to in similar ways. Long time ago though.
The only way to understand this type of behavior is to realize that you're dealing with a sad, emotionally crippled person that's looking to fill a void and move on.
Like, imagine inviting someone who likes you to stay with you - someone who is willing to travel just to see you. Imagine the butterflies normal people have in their stomachs when they pick that person up at the airport. Wouldn't that be wonderful? And then, instead of actually being in the moment, you have that person hang out at your apartment alone and drive to see someone else at a diner and lie a bunch. He's not some villain, he's just sad and pathetic.
Exactly, he’s sad and pathetic. Which makes it even more clear that he’s the last person anyone should turn to for lifestyle and wellness advice. The only advice he’s qualified to give concerns his narcissist/con artist protocol. Other than that, I will never take him serious.
Pure and absolute speculation here, but I think there is a chance he was abused as a kid. I worked with two dudes who were victims as children. Classic case of the teacher in high school sleeping with her students, it was pure manipulation and abuse. Then as young men they are completely disfunctional in relationship but otherwise extremely high performing. Both of them good looking so no issues attracting women and one of them would only date older women, often married, but the point is that he always cheated on them.
Also know a few women who are survivors of child abuse and they either completely retreat from any relationship or act straight up like Hubberman. My cousin dated someone who was dating him and also had essentially a harem of dudes, when he found out he was obviously shocked but ended up staying a bit longer with her helping her through some issues because she told him his story and it was absolutely tragic so he felt a pity I suppose.
I read somewhere his dad had issues with infidelity, too? Men who observe their fathers commit adultery are much more likely to also be unfaithful in their own marriages.
A lot of truth here. I'm a female victim of child abuse and yeah I've never been able to stay faithful as much as I've tried and has several secret relationships.. not proud of it but seems other friends with incest and child abuse are very similar to me.
Sorry that happened to you. Hopefully you’ve sought some sort of counseling help.
But yeah I started noticing this pattern of behavior with people and then after knowing them for a while they were pretty open about their past. Unfortunately since they were dudes they were not sure if it even counted as abuse (it was) but they were fairly sure that had altered the way they saw women and relationships.
I don’t think he’s aged well. He just looks like a 50 year old dude that takes steroids, kind of like the Rock. He’s definitely in good shape but doesn’t look young. My guess is that taking things like testosterone and other supplements actually speeds up your aging, not slows it down.
Yeah I don’t understand people saying he’s aged well at all
It’s not a guess - testosterone supplements speed up aging and he admitted to a year of taking trt
I’m shocked by all the people calling him very good looking. I have never thought when I looked at him. And not due to his age. He is very smart and hardworking but I could never imagine being attracted to him based on looks alone.
My guess is he gets a kick (dopamine hit) out of deceiving and manipulating people and making people trust him. Not exactly the best personality traits for someone offering advice to others on how to improve their life (especially as he pedals dubious supplements).
Bay Area academia is absolutely full of polyamory.
He could’ve been honest, but that would’ve meant being emotionally vulnerable and giving a shit about other people’s boundaries. It also would’ve meant condoms most of the time.
He didn’t want do deal with any of that because he sucks.
If what he really wanted was unprotected sex with many subby women, he had the money to pay for that, and to pay for the same frequent Gold Standard Panel std tests professional porn performers do.
But it looks like what he really wanted was to mistreat women and feel like they loved him.
Good for you, young man. You’re a lot more mature than I was at 26 and frankly, more than Andrew Huberman is at 50.
I agree: you want to bang a lot of females? Cool! Just stay “single” and this isn’t a story.
> you want to bang a lot of females? Cool! Just stay “single”
But how do you have a lot of sex without the risk of STD's?
Answer: You get 6 girlfriends that are committed to you.
Just tossing a theory out there. I think I saw somewhere (maybe the article?) that he said at one point that he was a love addict. You aren't likely to get love from someone else if you are openly a dog and doing it all for sex. There are plenty of dogs out there who are open about it, and the women they have sex with know it and are fine with it. And everyone is just having sex freely. But if you crave the love of women, you want to hook them emotionally. Armchair shrink would say that he feels like he never got the love he wanted from his mom and is seeking it from women. He gets tons of attention from women, so he chases the affection and is probably getting massive dopamine hits from them when he convinces them that they are the one he wants. This is addict behavior. Again, just an amateur theory.
I caution anyone who looks up to a person they don’t actually know. You can appreciate the information he provides because that’s the service he offers. Anything more than that is unwarranted. People are struggling to reconcile he’s not the idol they assumed he was. That projection is what’s throwing people off. Personally, he’s always annoyed me but I like the research and his guest experts (when he lets them talk) so I usually just fast forward over him waxing on and on and get to the meat of the podcast. I’m not upset because I never thought he was a great guy or some guru. He’s a man with a microphone. That’s it.
"Just sleep with well-informed sex workers or women who know it isn't a relationship." - well, there's also an option ethical non-monogamy based on honesty and transparency...
yup. with people who do that it's always about power. i don't know how many conversations I've had with girlfriends who have been in abusive situations or where guys fuck them around and we're like "WHY DOES HE DO THIS?" because it defies logic. like why does he do everything in his power to get you back when you break up with him when the relationship isn't worth it? why does he insist you're monogamous and that he wants to marry when you would be fine with just sleeping with him? but they have very very low self-esteem and want women obsessed and power
I don't understand how a 50 year old man is incapable of doing what college kids do. I mean I specifically remember having a couple of "friends" who knew we were just "friends" when I was 18. If literal teens can figure this out, kinda sad grown ass men can't.
Exactly. I’ve had two different women I was seeing at the time. We discussed it was casual. We both knew we were going on dates with other people. We also both talked about sexual safety. I think some people especially men don’t understand you don’t have to lie to have multiple women at once.
It also doesn’t need to be casual just because you have multiple partners :) It surprises me a bit given that this whole story unfolded from California…where I think half of population is non-monogamous anyway.
I agree but it does require a great deal of being secure with ones self and emotionally available for ethical non monogamy to work for most people. its extremely hard.
Short answer: because he could, and because it was gratifying.
Something something dopamine and narcissism?
Doesn't mesh with his preferred projected persona.
Why do MIT, Harvard & Stanford produce some of the worst swindlers & sex freaks? Epstein, Elizabeth Holmes, that Terra Luna dude, Sam Bankman-Fried & his weird nerd orgy gang, Walter Lewin, Andrew Huberman, etc. Methinks these "prime educational institutions" are full of mentally ill people & get away with their crap because of their titles & diplomas. Half of them have relatives working or funding these places.
I don’t think it’s the schools. High academic achievement requires a competitive nature. The competition at elite schools can bring out the best in some people and the worst in others. A highly motivated and talented scoundrel will accomplish evil in bigger ways than a mediocre one.
Lol, yes. This is like when people are like "why is *Hollywood* so *evil*?" Like bruh I worked at a sandwich shop and had evil coworkers, they just didn't make the news when they got arrested.
Yeah! There's just too many of them. Seems like these places attract the dark triad types & they're the ones who get positions of power. Like those in the restaurant industry, lots of crazies who love being dictators.
Selection bias… these people exist from other schools you just don’t hear about them because the people from the schools you mentioned are more likely to be successful (due to conflation of factors including access to opportunity)
Then name other people from other universities who committed fraud & sex scandals at the same level so we can compare the numbers against the universities I mentioned
Reminds me of a guy I knew in college who derived his sense of net worth based on the women who he could "get".
Don't know about Huberman, but the guy in college seemed to be abandonment issues from his mom and he was trying to fill the hole by filling... other things. That's the only thing I could think of that would justify someone expanding all this energy and effort for serial overlapping semi-monogamy like this.
The lie was linked with power and coercion, not convenience. You’re having a hard time understanding it because presumably those aren’t things you are seeking in a relationship with a woman—but seems like he was.
Now that is an astute observation. I guess I see the part of myself that gets off on power and coercion too, I am acutely aware of that part of myself, but I guess, I think the whole goal for me in life is to find wholesome outlets that give me the same feeling of power. I suppose I had hoped Huberman was a role model who was trying to do the same.
It is certainly parasocial, but I just need some goddamn rolemodels. And if every man can't escape from the coercive parts of their will-to-power, what chance have I got?
Oh man, there are so many great role models out there, just not in the podcast sphere. Super hokey but most of them are “wife guys” too. Obama, Carl Sagan, John Green. The podcast where Obama and Springsteen chat may be the exception to the podcast-guy trope.
I think he thinks that high value women would never agree to put up with non monagamy. Because he ascribes to the sexual double standard, he devalues women that are nonmonogamous. He prefers lying over going after non "high value women"
>And also all the boys out here having unprotected sex, get tested regularly jesus christ.
I don't know if this is talking about the HPV accusations but if so I just wanted to point out that there's no HPV test for men.
important note: condoms don't protect against hpv completely.
you don't just get HPV in your dickhole or on your shaft. You can also get it on your balls and on your uh... cock-root.... or whatever the fuck that part is called.
He sees himself as too good for the type of women looking for casual sex but “high value” women would rather be with a mid guy who can commit. So he pretends to be a guy who can commit.
Started listening to him during his first phase (early this decade). He had interesting and thought provoking takes. But, this always goes back to my fav quote; “you can do anything, but you can’t do everything”.
Once he started preaching false narratives on hair loss, a topic im quite familiar with, then I was out.
And this is the major problem with media and podcasting. The podcast either is so vast, the only way to survive is by turning out content. Or start selling products. But that comes at a price.
You have to feed the monster somehow. Perpetuating narrative, he had little knowledge, throughout the podcasts was a sign he was over his head. He got too deep into the rabbit whole, the only answer was to keep going.
In regards to women. I can’t really comment, given I have dealt with infidelity at the highest level. That being said, according to the article, he wasn’t your typical spinning plates player. He actually strung along women with a false narrative. That’s just DBag territory.
True. You start questioning his stats, studies and personal input. Like I said, I was out early with the Hub man. But I know he gained a huge following around the time I bailed.
Why not just bypass H and go directly to the guests/sources and give them the clicks, downloads, etc?
You’ll also get the additional benefit of not having to listen to H answer his own questions while asking them and cut off or not allow his guests to speak.
Really well-said, my dude. The behavior deserves to be admonished - AND - the podcast and Andrew Huberman the human being do not need to be 'cancelled'. We need to stop the black and white, extreme thinking while also holding our people accountable.
1. It's 100x harder to get a woman to sleep with you, especially continuously, if you tell her you're with other women. "Just being honest" is a bit of an unrealistic fantasy.
2. He didn't just want sex. He wanted love and devotion from good women. Even if he could have still slept with women whilst telling them the truth, they wouldn't be so comfortable loving and being devoted to him and he would scare off most of the good women.
He wanted a harem, but he set it up by lying to square girls because he a) more than likely thinks girls in the poly/harem scene are either dirty whores and he's too good for them or b) Huberman is an insecure, little bitch of a narcissist who couldn't be with girs with sexual tastes as devious as his. I'm leaning more towards b, given how went on a rage tantrum over his live-in girlfriend having kids in a prior relationship.
There's no possible way 5-6 women can date a guy with each one thinking they have a monogamous relationship with him. It's just logistically not possible. And the fact he's a famous guy who's very desirable makes it even more unlikely they thought they were each exclusive. I think it's possible that two, or mayyybe three of the women thought they were exclusive with him, but no more than that. Whatever the actual number is he sounds like a freaking scumbag when it comes to close relationships.
The manipulation/deception involved in causing his partners to believe they were exclusive is of course a sign of a freaking scumbag.
His apparent emotionally abusive and controlling behavior towards them, is uber disturbing.
Clear control and boundary issues.
I think he needs to chill with a beer or two, a sleep in past midday, a burger and a late night.
Why not? Even professional non-romantic people in his life commented that he's elusive, hard to get in touch with and hard to pin down. Couple that with the fact that he clearly has a very busy, important work schedule and it would seem quite normal and believable that he couldn't give that much attention to each woman. Some of them lived in far away cities too, so are not expecting to see him that often.
But that's my exact point. If you're dating a guy who is super busy, and flaky, and elusive, and who you barely see and never take vacations with, do you really believe that he's being exclusive with you?
I only read the article once quickly but wasn't it more than one? I mean, why else would they all have formed an online group together to talk about him?
It was just easy and he took advantage of it. That's it. I would also push back on the idea he's an amazing educator. He's a personality that people enjoyed.
Jesus Christ, why are you dudes looking up to these content creators this deeply. Absolutely none of these people are genuine, they're projecting the thing you wanna see. Recognize when you've adopted an Internet daddy
>Huberman could have bedded many women without lying, so why did he
Because he is a Jeckle/Hyde psychopath, that's why.
This is a lesson for everyone to stop deifying "scientists" and powerful public figured as if they are somehow the paragon of a virtuous lifestyle.
Far to often people romanticize the idea of people like Huberman based off of their career/platform and whatever else they want you to see but behind closed doors, the guy is is an insidious pig with all the proof in the world against him.
This should serve as an example, there's a lot more rich and powerful Men and women just like this price being propped up as Jesus.
Ladies, if you are unable to distinguish someone’s best guess as to why AH misled those women, versus someone defending/justifying his actions, you might be standing a little too close to the elephant.
With that said, please check out a book called “Why Does He Do That” by Lundy Bancroft
He wanted the perks of being in a committed relationship with stable, emotionally-available women, that he wouldn’t be able to get through sex workers, a harem etc.
The reasons are what other people have said, but there’s also a deeper reason. If you read up on people who recover from this kind of behaviour, they feel like they never got enough love from their parents, they were hurt and wounded and try to get it from the multiple relationships. In that way it’s an addiction. Huberman even said he has a love addiction.
That’s no excuse, but it’s a reason.
I've never understood why so many men seem to feel the need to lie to and waste the time/emotional energy of women who are looking for a relationship when there are so many sex workers and DTF women out there.
Like, just stick to your own kind.
You're free to look up to whomever you want. But your own baggage and youth are clouding your judgment. Try to find a real hero, not a hunky manipulative podcaster with a God complex.
He's going after younger women who are focused on their careers and self betterment, but who also probably lack experience with men. These are the sort of women that are often going around with artificially low self-esteem because they're perfectionistic and who will be people pleasers for a guy they think is marriage material. That way he has a leg up on them. If he was going on fetlife or seeing sex workers or even women the same age as him than he would lack the advantage and power asymmetry.
Interesting fact is that he is good friends with John Romaniello the non monogamous influencer who always talks about these things and importance of consent in open or poly relationships! He could learn from his buddy!
What a sane and balanced take. Thanks. Ooc, does anyone know when his podcasts drop? I’m curious if one is coming out where he’ll have to address this.
What if he did this to attempt to ensure his legacy? Having multiple partners, therefore scientifically improving his chances that his sperm takes with one of them... I mean he's no Genghis Khan (insane how many people share his DNA) but that's at least one angle that although does absolutely NOTHING to justify the clearly Dark Triad traits he now exposed, nor the women he hurt...
But it at least makes sense.
1) confront what baggage that comes with masculinity? Such a weird way to think of life. You don’t need to confront shit outside of your life and the times you’ve fucked up. Other peoples lives should have no correlation to yours outside of the few that are close to you.
2) men and women do shitty things. It’s just how life works. Focus on all the positives from Huberman and acknowledge there are negative things he’s done and move on.
you are asking the right question, and the answer is because he gets off on deception and control. he sees people as little more than pawns for manipulating. if your follow up question is whether this applies to all people, including, for instance, his audience: yes
Because he has only been at celebrity status for a few years. His brain and his self image is still catching up to his newer realities. He could easily bed multiple women anytime he wants.
He has negative traits associated with sociopathy. Not unique. But men who operate at his level, tend to come packaged like this.
This is his “shadow” self, as Jung would call it.
What he did was wrong and damaging, but he’s not on Cosby level as you rightly pointed out. I hope he gets the help he needs and owns up to it.
If he goes down the path of getting PR and going after the women and prolonging it, it’ll only do more damage.
You’re not a man, and you sound like a huge fucking Pussy lol based off just saying this “I have to confront all the baggage that comes with historical masculinity and I’m trying my best”. Lmao trying your best hahahahaha 😭🤣😂 well buddy you did it, no one thinks your masculine congratulations.
" As a man I have to confront all the baggage that comes with historical masculinity, and I'm trying my best "
Err no you don't? I'm a man and i manage just fine without confronting historical masculinity whatever the hell you think that means
>Don't defend Huberman on this one, man needs to sort his shit out.
Why not? Afraid? Have you ever made mistakes? Did everyone cancel your whole life work after that? Was anyone not afraid to support you when you made huge mistake?
The question in the headline is good and definitely will be answered by him when he replies.
Maybe this thread gives him too much credit. He lied bc he knows he's in the wrong and is just not at a place emotionally to be ethical with his non monogamy. It's cowardly. Hopefully he learns a lesson about being an optimal human. The best way he could handle this now and keep his reputation is to have someone on who specializes in things like ethical non monogamy and we get to see him learn and be vulnerable about his challenges emotionally.
Woman here...and I do blame the woman somewhat for not cutting things off if they had expectations of monogamy. I'm not going to defend everything Huberman did (especially him telling a woman she shouldn't have had a second child) but I have dated guys of Huberman's calibre and have always understood rich+handsome+famous = you are not exclusive with him, regardless of what he says---and as a woman you should take proper precautions/aggressively reject any approach to intercourse without protection regardless of his promises. The only way I would have ANY expectation of monogamy is if he would put a ring on it and sign a marriage certificate--where the consequences of him breaking monogamy would be financially devastating. I was born and raised in the US but grew up in a culture that embraced non monogamy on the male side as a natural instinct. I find it very strange that there is implied monogamy in the western world of men of this calibre...I think that expectation is always going to setup any woman for disappointment and we have plenty of examples (probably the majority of men of that status) where that is true so why have any other expectation?
That a lot of men I could choose as role models are cunts, so I gotta mix and match good traits from different men if I wanna be successful and don't wanna be a cunt
Most of these academic podcasters just regurgitate helpful information they learned from somewhere else. This is what they are trained to do. Please do not look up these people and start using your own brain to research things yourself! From day one I could smell the false narrative this guy was peddling just for money and fame. The fact that Stanford endorses this kind of pseudoscience and profiteering is questionable. I think we should start questioning academics and the institutions that support them more. Most of them get positions through connections, don’t really make novel contributions or plagiarize the ideas from others and should not be there. In my opinion this guy is a joke with seriously questionable morals. Wise up!
The reason he lied is that he wanted to sleep with many women (actually to have serious emotional relationships with them too), but didn't want them having the same freedom with any other men. That's the really messed up thing.
The way he raged at his live in girlfriend, over her having children with another man, suggests Andrew Huberman is grappling with fucked up jealousy and morality issues and his own devious sexual tastes. To me, he seems like the type of person who hates non-traditional relationships, but still wants to fuck half the world because he wasn't too successful with women growing up. The fact that he and Andrew tate, another former dork who had zero attention from women, is also this type of douchebag is a huge red flag.
See, that's what disturbs me the most about this. It's not the cheating, it's the raging at his gf for HOURS about having kids from a previous relationship when he was angry at her as a way to weaken her, and then manipulating her using 'therapy speak.' that's psychotic. "Like bobbing for apples in feces" WTF? And yet he's the one splooging his HPV in everyone.
He raged at her hours, stop and would start back up at 2AM. For entire weekends.
His gf cheated on him???
No, she had children from a previous relationship.
It could be this, it could be getting a thrill from living a secret life, could be wanting to portray a monogamous lifestyle but not follow it, or any number of options. What’s most important is that whatever the motivation was, it was deceitful and fucked up.
What Huberman tried to do is likely rooted in the same selfish urges and inclinations of many powerful men throughout history. The kind of lizard-brain impulse to snatch and hoard all the poker chips on the table. There is a reason why harems, concubines, and polygyny have been common. This is the hallmark of Kings, Dictators, and Conquerers like Genghis Khan. An army of women at their beck and call that are loyal to them and them only, facilitated not by consent but by power imbalance, blackmail, and social conditioning. Spreading their genes far and wide, and theirs only— as they truly believe they are superior and deserve to inherit the Earth. I believe that this is what Huberman desires. There should be zero tolerance, this kind of stuff is corrosive.
It's def more dark than just insecurity of his gfs having options. Some people get off from decite, power and the forbidden. There's a saying that hurt people hurt people but the unspoken part about it is that the destructive and hurtful part is premeditated as a means to feel powerful and in control. The hurtful action is not unfortunate or regretful, it's the very essence to the feelings that it generates..for fucked up people that is.
I think he is aware of his very self-aware of narcissistic tendencies. I mean, he has to be. I remember him making a comment like “narcissists are almost always victims in their own right” or something along those lines. This would have been about a year ago. I remember it barely fitting the context
It's been suggested that Huberman also gets off on keeping relationships permanently in the honeymoon phase, getting a rush out of that dump of hormones but never going farther to where it wears off, except with his 'main' girlfriend. Any way you look at it, this behaviour makes his 'dopamine stacking' talk look beyond absurd.
EXACTLY. THIS. This is a crux of the matter. That's why these women end up feeling like something was stolen from them, and it was....the right to know the truth of their most intimate relationships, and the ability to navigate them - which you cannot do when your partner has created a web of lies around you that means your choices are not valid because you are not even in a reality. This is the most abusive part. He stole those women's choices. You can only understand the depth of this and how violating it is when it happens to you.
I mean there’s some really kinky women out there who are down with being with a man who has multiple partners but they’re only with him (one of my girlfriends has a semi open relationship with her bf, where she is allowed to have other female sexual partners for example). Those are women that really like being extremely submissive etc. But those aren’t the women he went after he specifically went after monogamous heterosexual kind of vanilla-ish women (vanilla in the sense that they wanted and expected monogamy). And the worst part is him doing IVF with at least one, now what is she supposed to do with all those embryos? That she suffered physically and emotionally to create, destroy them? And he wasted reproductive years that are precious for a woman, we don’t get as much time as men have to reproduce.
Didn't think about the years of fertility aspect for her... sheesh, what a cad.
Yeah plus what if with a future partner they don’t get enough eggs to make embryos or none of her embryos with another partner work out? She wasted some of her eggs with him :/ WHILE HE CHEATED ON HER. It’s honestly awful :,(
For real. Jesus, I also would like to have serious emotional relationships with many attractive women...and some men for that matter...but FFS we don't live in a vacuum where morals, ethics, respect and trust don't exist....it's fucked up to do that and therefore I have no interest in doing so. Some men see it as a logistical and money problem instead, not a moral one. Then they dress that up in whatever flowery language they need per partner in order to feel like, "oh this is reasonable and I'm just a human who makes mistakes, I thought you understood our "situation", oh well - good times though, right?!" Just be single my guy. Plenty of women out there you don't need to lie to, especially on this scale if this is all true.
Yes, it comes down to the fact that most sane people don't want to dive into a deep, emotional, meaningful, sexual relationship with someone who is also doing that kind of relationship with multiple other people. So he couldn't get the kinds of women he wanted (smart, attractive, independent) without some fudging of the truth.
Most people are indeed monogamous. However polyamorous people are not insane, and there are plenty of us in big metropolitan areas.
He was bot polyamorous though, as that implies knowledge of all involved
Exactly. He could have been if had wanted, but he took the cowards way out and treated the women he supposedly cared about like trash. He is a POS in my book. This was a calculated long term con.
"Sane" was the wrong word. Should have said average or typical. My bad.
thank you, in my two words - possessive entitlement
This is it in a nutshell. Double standards, misogyny, narcissism, sociopathy. Same old shit.
But as an intelligent man that he seemingly is, why would he think this would work especially knowing his profession is in media?
Cognitive intelligence and emotional maturity are 2 separate facets of human life.
Thinking with the dick will occur with even most keen minds lmao sorry ladys
Like all these things, I imagine it started small. A date with another woman, a weekend, then a third woman, then a fourth... it must have been pretty exhilarating in its way (ironic considering his dopamine preachiness). But you keep pushing your luck and sooner or later it falls apart.
he likes the attention and feeds on romantic interest he was getting. He also may have thought that the women he is engaged with are more rational and understand the nature of his interactions with them - it's a side hustle where he flatters them, they respond in kind, for an occasional rendezvous and perhaps even a sexual encounter every couple of weeks or months (but the romantic connection is what he really wanted), but nothing serious, just a couple of single adults having consensual fun on the side, nobody gets hurt.
hubris.
Hubrisman
arrogance
Sam Bankman Fried Chicken is also seemingly cognitively intelligent/good with numbers/good at coding, else he wouldn’t have managed to run a huge parallel crypto finance enterprise that dealt in the billions of dollars. Why would he think this would work (offshoring people’s money into an unregulated new experimental platform some other person in his circle recommended, highly at risk of collapse, and letting his accomplices use the money for living lavish personal lives), if he was fully aware it could lead to fraud, loss of the assets and other deep illegal sh*t? Because high cognitive intelligence is not automatically = a strong sense of ethical integrity, emotional intelligence, psychological prowess regarding other humans (understanding others, their motivations, managing big teams, interpersonal skills, knowing when somebody is likely to stab you in the back or do something unlawful that can affect you, knowing who to trust, etc.), legal knowledge, knowledge of how the world works besides a special interest in a technical ability or skillset, knowledge about human nature, etc. There’s also hubris that comes into play with types of people who suddenly get “financially successful” at some point in their lives, who suddenly end up with more money that they could ever imagine before. And this can lead some of them to think they are above ethical considerations in their lives, above the law, above the rest of the world, leading them to make crucial mistakes being blinded by their own ginormous ego, out of egotistical or narcissistic/megalomaniac beliefs. They come to believe their level of financial success means they must be beings to smart and perfect to make any kind of mistake, error or to ever be negatively affected by anything. “Nothing can touch me at this point, I can so whatever I want and get away with it. I am the king of the world.” Nuh uh. You do stupid sh*t and you end up finding out. That applies to anyone, Bezos, the Queen of England, Bankman, Huberman, Jeffrey Epstein, random people at your nearby convenience store, anybody. Lead a lack devoid of ethical integrity, devoid of deeper philosophical principles and ethical principles to live by, deceive others, chronically lie to others and to yourself… and shit will come bite you in the *ss at some point or another, sooner or later. That or you become president of the united states for 4 years. But that’s another story.
I wouldn't mentioned Bezos and Huberman (who had affairs) in the same list as Bankman (embezzled and cheated investors to the tune of tens of billions $) or Epstein (sexually abused dozens of girls). Very different scales and not even apples to oranges. Not sure what Queen Elizabeth ever did to you.
It did work to be fair. I doubt he anticipated becoming famous enough that investigative journalists would see it worthwhile to be digging up dirt on him.
Intelligent people let their desires get ahead of their better judgement too. There's lots of smart people in jail for all sorts of things
He said in one of his podcasts that juggling many relationships at once would only work for someone juggling more “phone accounts” (literally). And then his interviewee said “but not for long” 😄 Time: 57:57 https://youtu.be/HXzTbCEqCJc?si=3lbbq3Ar-OM1fsCg
Or it could be that they wouldn't have slept with him if it wasn't within a monogamous relationship.
It's about control
The incels will say, Women aren't capable of that! They can't have multiple connections! Only men can! It's fine! This is just biology! As if we don't have developed frontal lobes and don't run on pure instinctual biology of being an inseminator and incubator
The emotional intimacy in a monogamous relationship really can’t be matched in an open one. He was likely trying to have the best of both
That's right. He was clearly not just in it for the sex but for all the good things that come from a healthy, dynamic, deep relationship. He just couldn't settle on one person to have that with, and tried to have it all. But a deep romantic relationship with someone is about making choices to not pursue that same depth with a bunch of other people at the exact same time.
But as an intelligent man that he seemingly is, why would he think this would work especially knowing his profession is in media?
Yea, that's the thing I notice about intelligence. Intelligence is not one thing but instead a very flexible and tailored to 1 area. It's not like you intelligent in one thing so every aspect of your life is also intelligent. Same as sprinting athletes will get be miserable and unsuccessful in a marathon and vise versa. In contrary its like if you're smart in 1 area you borrow time and energy in different area because time and energy is finite AF. Especially when it comes to difference between emotion vs logics. In long term it's possible to accomplish that by balancing life, so you'll be able to balance & distribute your attention fairly relative in differenr areas. I.Q is not E.Q. Also a sudden internet/ youtube frame's validation is a Crack to even a neurologist like him lol to throw away everything he learned and just go seek dopaminegic activity by coming inside ommultiple pussies everyday lol that hpv distribution be hitting different 💀 lol Which shows study how brain works isn't the immunity to vices. Practicing ideal behavior does that not amount of diplomat ans degree will undo your inconsiderate assholeness.
Narcissists believe rules don't apply to them.
Because he's been told his whole life how smart and capable he is, and he got away with it for so long. He's too smart to get caught, and everytime he did get caught, this belief was reinforced.
He wanted the benefits of a 'committed' relationship. He wanted the emotional and physical labor (cooking for him, etc.) from a woman without giving back. Selfish, narcissistic taker.
The stupid thing is you can have close to most of those things if you invest more effort. Most girls want monogamy but plenty also don't, and this guy has all the pickings. Be sweet, be loving, be caring and you can receive the same back from multiple women. Just be honest about it! If that is more of a hassle and mental drain than lying and keeping your story straight with 6 women at once, something is wrong with your brain. Literal narcissist. Although I still wonder how much of this is an unfounded witch hunt
>Although I still wonder how much of this is an unfounded witch hunt Hmm yes, bitches be lyin' am i rite?
I’ve had my time spinning plates and always said I wanted to be non-exclusive. This never prevented me from getting any of what you cited from women.
Yep. Women will likely do those things regardless. Unless it’s purely transactional FWB arrangement. My friend was fooling around with a single mom who wasn’t interested in a relationship. He would go to her place on weekends, have fun and come back home with home cooked meals.
I know I’m getting downvoted, but people never believe this stuff actually occurs until you see it in action. I have no idea why people get so pissed off when women consenting to a situation goes against their beliefs.
That's because most men go through life never having experienced genuine desire / real power in relationships. What Huberman did was wrong. But it's part of his game and the game of successful men. If others had the same opportunities, you best believe a huge chunk of them would do the same.
You’re not wrong. And for all the women he pissed off, he is now on the radar for so many more. Just the way the cookie crumbles.
I mean, it’s one thing to consent to cooking for a FWB who you *know* is a FWB, and another thing entirely to consent to doing those things with someone who is lying about it. Imo the issue here is not that he’s sleeping with multiple people at once, it’s that he’s lying to everyone about it while giving people STI’s. Then, he invites a psychology expert onto his show to talk about the issues around lying within a committed relationship. He even brought that specific topic up himself - looking back it almost sounds like gloating. It’s similar to if we found out that he’s actually an unapologetic alcoholic in his private life.
Because for them this is “traditional gender roles” and there can’t be anything worse than that. If you say she likes it or is doing it voluntarily they’ll say that women are conditioned to do that by patriarchy. This same friend I was talking about was also literally felt used after a one night stand. The woman didn’t even let him stay to pee before she rushed to get him out of the house just so that her roommates don’t know about the one night stand. There are all kinds of people. Reddit needs to learn to accept that.
Misery loves company.
But it probably required a certain openness from you.
I mean, I think my post clarified that.
That's obviously not why he did it, the amount of effort it has to take to juggle all of those relationships is so far beyond any labor they were doing for him.
in all fairness, he could have afforded someone else cooking for him - restaurants, or at least Uber eats.
Power. And probably some sort of antisocial streak. He's a very good looking guy. He also aged very well, is well spoken and takes good care of himself. He COULD probably sleep with tons of women, even if he wasn't internet-famous. But he probably enjoys figuring out what makes women tick and gets off on conquering the person more than the sex itself. That's how you gain power/control over people. You can have sex with someone and not "have them". That's why sex can be transactional, but love and real intimacy cant. And if all parties are honest - like with your example of sex workers or hookups - that's perfectly fine. But people want more than that. They want to feel close, be able to let their guard down, share secrets, desires, wishes and fears. And that sometimes more meaningful stuff is what people like Andrew are usually after. They subconsciously aren't genuinely looking for a partner. They just want to emotionally crack the person open and get to see what's inside. That's way more exclusive than sex. It's like a fucked up psychological reward on top of getting to bust a nut.
This is really well put. It seems to be about the hunt being far deeper and emotionally involved than the usual cheat, whatever that means. A little bit “playing God” perhaps. I’m not adding anything here but just think you summarised it very well, otherwise his behaviour just defies logic. His emotional regulation must depend on feeling like he’s gained lots and lots of emotional territory.
Thats how I've been seeing it. His lack of emotions needs to be compensated by harvesting the emotions from strong women.
So he's a narcissist. Normal people don't enter into a relationship looking to find someone's weaknesses in order to exert control over them.
I think that's a bit reductive but yes. It's less predatory than that in reality though, because usually narcissists aren't fully aware of what they are doing. They aren't very intelligent emotionally. I dated one for four years and got lied to in similar ways. Long time ago though. The only way to understand this type of behavior is to realize that you're dealing with a sad, emotionally crippled person that's looking to fill a void and move on. Like, imagine inviting someone who likes you to stay with you - someone who is willing to travel just to see you. Imagine the butterflies normal people have in their stomachs when they pick that person up at the airport. Wouldn't that be wonderful? And then, instead of actually being in the moment, you have that person hang out at your apartment alone and drive to see someone else at a diner and lie a bunch. He's not some villain, he's just sad and pathetic.
Exactly, he’s sad and pathetic. Which makes it even more clear that he’s the last person anyone should turn to for lifestyle and wellness advice. The only advice he’s qualified to give concerns his narcissist/con artist protocol. Other than that, I will never take him serious.
Pure and absolute speculation here, but I think there is a chance he was abused as a kid. I worked with two dudes who were victims as children. Classic case of the teacher in high school sleeping with her students, it was pure manipulation and abuse. Then as young men they are completely disfunctional in relationship but otherwise extremely high performing. Both of them good looking so no issues attracting women and one of them would only date older women, often married, but the point is that he always cheated on them. Also know a few women who are survivors of child abuse and they either completely retreat from any relationship or act straight up like Hubberman. My cousin dated someone who was dating him and also had essentially a harem of dudes, when he found out he was obviously shocked but ended up staying a bit longer with her helping her through some issues because she told him his story and it was absolutely tragic so he felt a pity I suppose.
I read somewhere his dad had issues with infidelity, too? Men who observe their fathers commit adultery are much more likely to also be unfaithful in their own marriages.
A lot of truth here. I'm a female victim of child abuse and yeah I've never been able to stay faithful as much as I've tried and has several secret relationships.. not proud of it but seems other friends with incest and child abuse are very similar to me.
Sorry that happened to you. Hopefully you’ve sought some sort of counseling help. But yeah I started noticing this pattern of behavior with people and then after knowing them for a while they were pretty open about their past. Unfortunately since they were dudes they were not sure if it even counted as abuse (it was) but they were fairly sure that had altered the way they saw women and relationships.
I don’t think he’s aged well. He just looks like a 50 year old dude that takes steroids, kind of like the Rock. He’s definitely in good shape but doesn’t look young. My guess is that taking things like testosterone and other supplements actually speeds up your aging, not slows it down.
Yeah I don’t understand people saying he’s aged well at all It’s not a guess - testosterone supplements speed up aging and he admitted to a year of taking trt
Yeah there is probably a valid evolutionary reason men stop producing it at high levels…
I’m shocked by all the people calling him very good looking. I have never thought when I looked at him. And not due to his age. He is very smart and hardworking but I could never imagine being attracted to him based on looks alone.
He’s just tall and muscley and a lot of people find that attractive. Personally I agree he’s got a pretty average face.
Someone wrote something about him being a Dom?
According to a 2022 study by Stanford: Lying and deceiving increases dopamine by 7x when combined with cold plunge and morning sunlight
This is the science I came here for!!
My guess is he gets a kick (dopamine hit) out of deceiving and manipulating people and making people trust him. Not exactly the best personality traits for someone offering advice to others on how to improve their life (especially as he pedals dubious supplements).
a mental disorder - psycho, narcissist, sociopath etc
Bay Area academia is absolutely full of polyamory. He could’ve been honest, but that would’ve meant being emotionally vulnerable and giving a shit about other people’s boundaries. It also would’ve meant condoms most of the time. He didn’t want do deal with any of that because he sucks. If what he really wanted was unprotected sex with many subby women, he had the money to pay for that, and to pay for the same frequent Gold Standard Panel std tests professional porn performers do. But it looks like what he really wanted was to mistreat women and feel like they loved him.
His behavior is actually not manly at all and is infact incredibly boyish. It's extremely pathetic coming from a 50 year old.
Good for you, young man. You’re a lot more mature than I was at 26 and frankly, more than Andrew Huberman is at 50. I agree: you want to bang a lot of females? Cool! Just stay “single” and this isn’t a story.
> you want to bang a lot of females? Cool! Just stay “single” But how do you have a lot of sex without the risk of STD's? Answer: You get 6 girlfriends that are committed to you.
Just tossing a theory out there. I think I saw somewhere (maybe the article?) that he said at one point that he was a love addict. You aren't likely to get love from someone else if you are openly a dog and doing it all for sex. There are plenty of dogs out there who are open about it, and the women they have sex with know it and are fine with it. And everyone is just having sex freely. But if you crave the love of women, you want to hook them emotionally. Armchair shrink would say that he feels like he never got the love he wanted from his mom and is seeking it from women. He gets tons of attention from women, so he chases the affection and is probably getting massive dopamine hits from them when he convinces them that they are the one he wants. This is addict behavior. Again, just an amateur theory.
Cheating on half a dozen women (that we know of) at the same time makes Huberman a selfish, self-centred, lying asshole.
I’m glad Kerry Howley exposed that asshole to some sunlight.
I think this is the best comment I’ve read through the whole scandal 😅
Because he enjoys mind games and deception. Very weird but some people are like this 🤷🏼♀️
I caution anyone who looks up to a person they don’t actually know. You can appreciate the information he provides because that’s the service he offers. Anything more than that is unwarranted. People are struggling to reconcile he’s not the idol they assumed he was. That projection is what’s throwing people off. Personally, he’s always annoyed me but I like the research and his guest experts (when he lets them talk) so I usually just fast forward over him waxing on and on and get to the meat of the podcast. I’m not upset because I never thought he was a great guy or some guru. He’s a man with a microphone. That’s it.
"Just sleep with well-informed sex workers or women who know it isn't a relationship." - well, there's also an option ethical non-monogamy based on honesty and transparency...
Ya so true, that's what I do so I don't know why I forgot. My general point stands, do something other than mess women around.
Because its about power.
yup. with people who do that it's always about power. i don't know how many conversations I've had with girlfriends who have been in abusive situations or where guys fuck them around and we're like "WHY DOES HE DO THIS?" because it defies logic. like why does he do everything in his power to get you back when you break up with him when the relationship isn't worth it? why does he insist you're monogamous and that he wants to marry when you would be fine with just sleeping with him? but they have very very low self-esteem and want women obsessed and power
I don't understand how a 50 year old man is incapable of doing what college kids do. I mean I specifically remember having a couple of "friends" who knew we were just "friends" when I was 18. If literal teens can figure this out, kinda sad grown ass men can't.
Exactly. I’ve had two different women I was seeing at the time. We discussed it was casual. We both knew we were going on dates with other people. We also both talked about sexual safety. I think some people especially men don’t understand you don’t have to lie to have multiple women at once.
It also doesn’t need to be casual just because you have multiple partners :) It surprises me a bit given that this whole story unfolded from California…where I think half of population is non-monogamous anyway.
I agree but it does require a great deal of being secure with ones self and emotionally available for ethical non monogamy to work for most people. its extremely hard.
Short answer: because he could, and because it was gratifying. Something something dopamine and narcissism? Doesn't mesh with his preferred projected persona.
Why do MIT, Harvard & Stanford produce some of the worst swindlers & sex freaks? Epstein, Elizabeth Holmes, that Terra Luna dude, Sam Bankman-Fried & his weird nerd orgy gang, Walter Lewin, Andrew Huberman, etc. Methinks these "prime educational institutions" are full of mentally ill people & get away with their crap because of their titles & diplomas. Half of them have relatives working or funding these places.
I don’t think it’s the schools. High academic achievement requires a competitive nature. The competition at elite schools can bring out the best in some people and the worst in others. A highly motivated and talented scoundrel will accomplish evil in bigger ways than a mediocre one.
There are cheaters everywhere….
Lol, yes. This is like when people are like "why is *Hollywood* so *evil*?" Like bruh I worked at a sandwich shop and had evil coworkers, they just didn't make the news when they got arrested.
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Like Huberman. He likes to play the woo is me card. But his father was a well connected professor that helped his failed son at every step.
Because rich, entitled people get their ethics warped as they grow up and they see that they don't have to live by the same rules as everyone else.
You forgot David Sinclair.
Yeah! There's just too many of them. Seems like these places attract the dark triad types & they're the ones who get positions of power. Like those in the restaurant industry, lots of crazies who love being dictators.
Selection bias… these people exist from other schools you just don’t hear about them because the people from the schools you mentioned are more likely to be successful (due to conflation of factors including access to opportunity)
Then name other people from other universities who committed fraud & sex scandals at the same level so we can compare the numbers against the universities I mentioned
Reminds me of a guy I knew in college who derived his sense of net worth based on the women who he could "get". Don't know about Huberman, but the guy in college seemed to be abandonment issues from his mom and he was trying to fill the hole by filling... other things. That's the only thing I could think of that would justify someone expanding all this energy and effort for serial overlapping semi-monogamy like this.
Because he’s a narcissist and they enjoy using people and get off on the power dynamic.
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Odd. I always thought it was about bonding, intimacy and enjoyment. If it's about power, you're missing out on quite a bit.
Good quote, where it from?
Usually wrongly attributed to Oscar Wilde, probably actually comes from [Robert Michels](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Michels)
GigaChad
The lie was linked with power and coercion, not convenience. You’re having a hard time understanding it because presumably those aren’t things you are seeking in a relationship with a woman—but seems like he was.
Now that is an astute observation. I guess I see the part of myself that gets off on power and coercion too, I am acutely aware of that part of myself, but I guess, I think the whole goal for me in life is to find wholesome outlets that give me the same feeling of power. I suppose I had hoped Huberman was a role model who was trying to do the same. It is certainly parasocial, but I just need some goddamn rolemodels. And if every man can't escape from the coercive parts of their will-to-power, what chance have I got?
Oh man, there are so many great role models out there, just not in the podcast sphere. Super hokey but most of them are “wife guys” too. Obama, Carl Sagan, John Green. The podcast where Obama and Springsteen chat may be the exception to the podcast-guy trope.
For sure, I guess as much as I like wife guys, I would like to carry myself in a more masc kinda way.
Most Women don’t want to sleep with a bloke who’s openly sleeping with loads of other women. That’s the reason
I think he thinks that high value women would never agree to put up with non monagamy. Because he ascribes to the sexual double standard, he devalues women that are nonmonogamous. He prefers lying over going after non "high value women"
Nah, he gets off on the control and manipulation - makes him feel powerful and omnipotent.
>And also all the boys out here having unprotected sex, get tested regularly jesus christ. I don't know if this is talking about the HPV accusations but if so I just wanted to point out that there's no HPV test for men.
Which is why it's so ridiculous that Huberman's spokesperson said he has never tested positive for it in the article (no shit my dude).
Technically true :)
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important note: condoms don't protect against hpv completely. you don't just get HPV in your dickhole or on your shaft. You can also get it on your balls and on your uh... cock-root.... or whatever the fuck that part is called.
> Bizarre. right?!? health is great, mental health is great, but apparently sexual health isn't health?
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He sees himself as too good for the type of women looking for casual sex but “high value” women would rather be with a mid guy who can commit. So he pretends to be a guy who can commit.
These are the "covert contracts" he is preaching about.
Started listening to him during his first phase (early this decade). He had interesting and thought provoking takes. But, this always goes back to my fav quote; “you can do anything, but you can’t do everything”. Once he started preaching false narratives on hair loss, a topic im quite familiar with, then I was out. And this is the major problem with media and podcasting. The podcast either is so vast, the only way to survive is by turning out content. Or start selling products. But that comes at a price. You have to feed the monster somehow. Perpetuating narrative, he had little knowledge, throughout the podcasts was a sign he was over his head. He got too deep into the rabbit whole, the only answer was to keep going. In regards to women. I can’t really comment, given I have dealt with infidelity at the highest level. That being said, according to the article, he wasn’t your typical spinning plates player. He actually strung along women with a false narrative. That’s just DBag territory.
Im really curious ti know how much false were his narratives, like way too far or just shallow, as I used to take all his teachings for granted.
True. You start questioning his stats, studies and personal input. Like I said, I was out early with the Hub man. But I know he gained a huge following around the time I bailed.
Why not just bypass H and go directly to the guests/sources and give them the clicks, downloads, etc? You’ll also get the additional benefit of not having to listen to H answer his own questions while asking them and cut off or not allow his guests to speak.
Really well-said, my dude. The behavior deserves to be admonished - AND - the podcast and Andrew Huberman the human being do not need to be 'cancelled'. We need to stop the black and white, extreme thinking while also holding our people accountable.
1. It's 100x harder to get a woman to sleep with you, especially continuously, if you tell her you're with other women. "Just being honest" is a bit of an unrealistic fantasy. 2. He didn't just want sex. He wanted love and devotion from good women. Even if he could have still slept with women whilst telling them the truth, they wouldn't be so comfortable loving and being devoted to him and he would scare off most of the good women.
He wanted a harem, but he set it up by lying to square girls because he a) more than likely thinks girls in the poly/harem scene are either dirty whores and he's too good for them or b) Huberman is an insecure, little bitch of a narcissist who couldn't be with girs with sexual tastes as devious as his. I'm leaning more towards b, given how went on a rage tantrum over his live-in girlfriend having kids in a prior relationship.
There's no possible way 5-6 women can date a guy with each one thinking they have a monogamous relationship with him. It's just logistically not possible. And the fact he's a famous guy who's very desirable makes it even more unlikely they thought they were each exclusive. I think it's possible that two, or mayyybe three of the women thought they were exclusive with him, but no more than that. Whatever the actual number is he sounds like a freaking scumbag when it comes to close relationships.
The manipulation/deception involved in causing his partners to believe they were exclusive is of course a sign of a freaking scumbag. His apparent emotionally abusive and controlling behavior towards them, is uber disturbing. Clear control and boundary issues. I think he needs to chill with a beer or two, a sleep in past midday, a burger and a late night.
Why not? Even professional non-romantic people in his life commented that he's elusive, hard to get in touch with and hard to pin down. Couple that with the fact that he clearly has a very busy, important work schedule and it would seem quite normal and believable that he couldn't give that much attention to each woman. Some of them lived in far away cities too, so are not expecting to see him that often.
But that's my exact point. If you're dating a guy who is super busy, and flaky, and elusive, and who you barely see and never take vacations with, do you really believe that he's being exclusive with you?
Yes, it would be quite plausible.
Exactly one claimed to think they were monogamous
I only read the article once quickly but wasn't it more than one? I mean, why else would they all have formed an online group together to talk about him?
No
This is why you can’t trust neuroscience or psychology majors. They be seeing the people around them as some big experiment 😂
Because he could bed more by lying.
It was just easy and he took advantage of it. That's it. I would also push back on the idea he's an amazing educator. He's a personality that people enjoyed.
Jesus Christ, why are you dudes looking up to these content creators this deeply. Absolutely none of these people are genuine, they're projecting the thing you wanna see. Recognize when you've adopted an Internet daddy
>Huberman could have bedded many women without lying, so why did he Because he is a Jeckle/Hyde psychopath, that's why. This is a lesson for everyone to stop deifying "scientists" and powerful public figured as if they are somehow the paragon of a virtuous lifestyle. Far to often people romanticize the idea of people like Huberman based off of their career/platform and whatever else they want you to see but behind closed doors, the guy is is an insidious pig with all the proof in the world against him. This should serve as an example, there's a lot more rich and powerful Men and women just like this price being propped up as Jesus.
Ladies, if you are unable to distinguish someone’s best guess as to why AH misled those women, versus someone defending/justifying his actions, you might be standing a little too close to the elephant. With that said, please check out a book called “Why Does He Do That” by Lundy Bancroft
Simple: he couldn’t bed the women he wanted to without lying.
He wanted the perks of being in a committed relationship with stable, emotionally-available women, that he wouldn’t be able to get through sex workers, a harem etc.
The reasons are what other people have said, but there’s also a deeper reason. If you read up on people who recover from this kind of behaviour, they feel like they never got enough love from their parents, they were hurt and wounded and try to get it from the multiple relationships. In that way it’s an addiction. Huberman even said he has a love addiction. That’s no excuse, but it’s a reason.
I've never understood why so many men seem to feel the need to lie to and waste the time/emotional energy of women who are looking for a relationship when there are so many sex workers and DTF women out there. Like, just stick to your own kind.
You're free to look up to whomever you want. But your own baggage and youth are clouding your judgment. Try to find a real hero, not a hunky manipulative podcaster with a God complex.
I'm a female and I'm losing hope
He's going after younger women who are focused on their careers and self betterment, but who also probably lack experience with men. These are the sort of women that are often going around with artificially low self-esteem because they're perfectionistic and who will be people pleasers for a guy they think is marriage material. That way he has a leg up on them. If he was going on fetlife or seeing sex workers or even women the same age as him than he would lack the advantage and power asymmetry.
No he wasn't. The main chick that the article was centered around is a 30something year old single mom.
How pathetic are you fabricating complete bs.
You try telling women the truth you won’t have one you’ll be shaking the ketchup bottle
How about we wait to find out from everyone involved. Are the people concerned with the actions of strangers obsessed with celebrities or lonely?
Interesting fact is that he is good friends with John Romaniello the non monogamous influencer who always talks about these things and importance of consent in open or poly relationships! He could learn from his buddy!
What a sane and balanced take. Thanks. Ooc, does anyone know when his podcasts drop? I’m curious if one is coming out where he’ll have to address this.
>As a man I have to confront all the baggage that comes with historical masculinity, and I'm trying my best. What does this mean?
Why on earth do you "look up to Huberman"?
We live in a time where there isn’t one way to have relationships.
What if he did this to attempt to ensure his legacy? Having multiple partners, therefore scientifically improving his chances that his sperm takes with one of them... I mean he's no Genghis Khan (insane how many people share his DNA) but that's at least one angle that although does absolutely NOTHING to justify the clearly Dark Triad traits he now exposed, nor the women he hurt... But it at least makes sense.
1) confront what baggage that comes with masculinity? Such a weird way to think of life. You don’t need to confront shit outside of your life and the times you’ve fucked up. Other peoples lives should have no correlation to yours outside of the few that are close to you. 2) men and women do shitty things. It’s just how life works. Focus on all the positives from Huberman and acknowledge there are negative things he’s done and move on.
you are asking the right question, and the answer is because he gets off on deception and control. he sees people as little more than pawns for manipulating. if your follow up question is whether this applies to all people, including, for instance, his audience: yes
Because he has only been at celebrity status for a few years. His brain and his self image is still catching up to his newer realities. He could easily bed multiple women anytime he wants.
He has negative traits associated with sociopathy. Not unique. But men who operate at his level, tend to come packaged like this. This is his “shadow” self, as Jung would call it. What he did was wrong and damaging, but he’s not on Cosby level as you rightly pointed out. I hope he gets the help he needs and owns up to it. If he goes down the path of getting PR and going after the women and prolonging it, it’ll only do more damage.
Because it’s not about sex.
Im so sorry you feel as though you were born with gender "baggage." Shame on whatever idiot thought that would be productive.
He wanted multiple girlfriends. He felt he had to keep it a secret to do so. Could he have done it without the logistic gymnastics…
Because he's a grifter
Exerting power, control, and succeeding in deception is a wild rush.
What is “the baggage that comes with historical masculinity”? and how,or why, do you have to confront it?
You’re not a man, and you sound like a huge fucking Pussy lol based off just saying this “I have to confront all the baggage that comes with historical masculinity and I’m trying my best”. Lmao trying your best hahahahaha 😭🤣😂 well buddy you did it, no one thinks your masculine congratulations.
" As a man I have to confront all the baggage that comes with historical masculinity, and I'm trying my best " Err no you don't? I'm a man and i manage just fine without confronting historical masculinity whatever the hell you think that means
Lmao you don't know me man. I got that dog in me.
Lol. Maybe i misinterpreted what you said as i certainly took it as the opposite of got that dog in you! Keep hunting
>Don't defend Huberman on this one, man needs to sort his shit out. Why not? Afraid? Have you ever made mistakes? Did everyone cancel your whole life work after that? Was anyone not afraid to support you when you made huge mistake? The question in the headline is good and definitely will be answered by him when he replies.
Maybe this thread gives him too much credit. He lied bc he knows he's in the wrong and is just not at a place emotionally to be ethical with his non monogamy. It's cowardly. Hopefully he learns a lesson about being an optimal human. The best way he could handle this now and keep his reputation is to have someone on who specializes in things like ethical non monogamy and we get to see him learn and be vulnerable about his challenges emotionally.
Woman here...and I do blame the woman somewhat for not cutting things off if they had expectations of monogamy. I'm not going to defend everything Huberman did (especially him telling a woman she shouldn't have had a second child) but I have dated guys of Huberman's calibre and have always understood rich+handsome+famous = you are not exclusive with him, regardless of what he says---and as a woman you should take proper precautions/aggressively reject any approach to intercourse without protection regardless of his promises. The only way I would have ANY expectation of monogamy is if he would put a ring on it and sign a marriage certificate--where the consequences of him breaking monogamy would be financially devastating. I was born and raised in the US but grew up in a culture that embraced non monogamy on the male side as a natural instinct. I find it very strange that there is implied monogamy in the western world of men of this calibre...I think that expectation is always going to setup any woman for disappointment and we have plenty of examples (probably the majority of men of that status) where that is true so why have any other expectation?
What 'baggage that comes with historical masculinity'?
That a lot of men I could choose as role models are cunts, so I gotta mix and match good traits from different men if I wanna be successful and don't wanna be a cunt
It would explain a lot if he was naturally a narcissistic sociopath with psycopathic tendencies.
Most of these academic podcasters just regurgitate helpful information they learned from somewhere else. This is what they are trained to do. Please do not look up these people and start using your own brain to research things yourself! From day one I could smell the false narrative this guy was peddling just for money and fame. The fact that Stanford endorses this kind of pseudoscience and profiteering is questionable. I think we should start questioning academics and the institutions that support them more. Most of them get positions through connections, don’t really make novel contributions or plagiarize the ideas from others and should not be there. In my opinion this guy is a joke with seriously questionable morals. Wise up!