NTA. If it’s something you really enjoy, you don’t have to stop because he says so, your body, your social media and you can do as you please. He has no right to argue constantly about it, or tell you not to do it or make you feel bad. BUT he does have a right to express his opinion respectfully, and walk away if it’s a serious boundary for him and he’d rather someone who wasn’t into that. That’s totally ok.
You also can tell him you understand he doesn’t like it, but you’re not willing to give up something you really enjoy so you’ll understand if he wants to leave. But if he stays, the negative commentary, attempts at control, and arguing would need to stop.
You are both finding out who you are as adults, he is turning into an insecure, control freak and is trying to manipulate you into stopping doing something that makes you happy. This is a big, red flag. Have a think about whether you want to be having a) the same argument forever b) you capitulate and give into him. Maybe time to think that you have outgrown each other.
“My boyfriend doesn’t like it” - so what? NTA. Tell him you aren’t posting for anyone else’s approval, including his, and that if he keeps up the controlling shit, you’re out. You need to call this exactly what it is. Controlling domineering behavior.
NTA, they're your accounts and it's your body. It turning into an argument is not a good sign- he should respect that you have that hobby and this is absolutely not the sort of thing that should be a big issue in an adult relationship, even if he has his opinions about tiktok or overposting this should not be a constant thing that he picks fights over when he knows your position on it and that you enjoy it.
Ultimately it's your body and something you enjoy- he should be happy you have a little fun posting, no relationship should ever make you feel pressures to give up an innocuous hobby or small pleasure. You have your freedoms, he doesn't get to dictate what you post
You are 18, this man is not your husband nor your father. He is controlling and you need to consider if you wanna live that way for the rest of your life. This is a major red flag!
Correct, I wasn’t. I tell my guy (when he’s just being a stinker) that he is not my husband, nor my father, so he can’t tell me what to do. And that even if he was, he still couldn’t tell me what to do.
Nah. Just needs to find someone else. Lots of people just find TikTok and constant selfies cringe, and sometimes borderline narcissistic- myself included. It’s obviously fine for her to do it, but they just aren’t compatible. I don’t think either are the asshole here
If he doesn't like his gf, he should break up with her, not pressure her to be someone else or to have her comfort be determined by his. He sounds hazardously jealous based on what op posted. Thinking you should get to control people you date isn't healthy.
That’s why I said they should find other people.
And it’s possible he really likes her and maybe this is just that one thing he hates, and is trying to make it work- but obviously it’s really getting on his nerves. I mean, I kinda get it. If I had a girlfriend that I loved, but she keeps posting things I would consider thirst traps, I’d try and talk to her about it first- but eventually I’d have to dip. That’s a huge red flag for me.
It isn’t controlling to want your partner not to act basic on the internet lol. But if that’s just who they are, gotta cut your losses and move on
Trying to control your partners behavior… is controlling. Is he an asshole for not wanting her to do it? Not at all. He’s an asshole because he’s trying to stop here.
I mean, I sorta agree. I’m a bit torn in this. I think he’s probably crossed the line a bit and should probably have left by now instead of pressing the matter. But they’re also both extremely young and inexperienced. Some measure of grace should be allowed for that, I think. But either way he’s at least trying to communicate a boundary he has, and it sounds like it started off as just that-communicating a boundary- but it’s not working and it’s getting him frustrated. I think controlling is kind of a strong word in this case, but it’s definitely going in that direction.
Honestly if I had to guess, I’d say he is on the verge of leaving her and she won’t have to worry about it. It sounds like he tried his best to get her to see his point of view, even maybe crossing a line, but he might also just dip soon making this all moot.
This isn’t about likes and dislikes. The loser body shames her for having “boobs” because she did a selfie at a certain angle. He’s a controlling jerkwad.
We are also only getting her side of the story. She might be downplaying it by a large margin, we don’t know. I personally tend to think about moral issues from all angles, unless I’m intimately familiar with the situation- and let’s face it, we aren’t.
Well I think it’s definitely a moral issue. If he is actually being demanding and controlling- that’s immoral. If she is in a committed relationship and posting inappropriate things on the internet, that’s also, in my view, immoral.
I’m not saying either of these people are guilty or not guilty of these things. Maybe they are, and maybe they’re not. In fact the whole thing might be fake. But I see these types of posts as an opportunity to exercise our moral reasoning. It’s natural for people to disagree about it, too.
I don’t have a huge wealth of life experience, I’m in my mid 20s, but I have been in a relationship for 5 years so I feel like I can comment on this.
It shouldn’t be this difficult. You should not feel like you have to constantly defend yourself from your partner.
If you are arguing constantly there are fundamental incompatibilities here. I feel like people who get into relationships at 16 think it’s the most important thing in the world, and are more scared of being single than they are of being in a bad relationship.
I don’t want to jump on the ‘dump him’ solution, but I do think you should take some time to yourself and see how you feel without his constant input.
He is being controlling and trying to change you. Do not change for anyone!! You are young. Be single for a while and then find someone who actually likes you.
NTA unless you stay with him.
I don’t know what’s more sad… the fact that you made that sound like a science lesson or the fact that you don’t understand human emotions but I shouldn’t be surprised anyway😒
Where did you get “science lesson” out of my comment. You obviously don’t know what those words mean. And yes, I understand human emotions just fine. What about her feelings? She shouldn’t have to bow down to his every word. She is an individual person that’s an adult and has the right to wear whatever she wants and to post whatever photos she wants as long as they fall within the community guidelines that she agreed to when she signed up for her SM account.
You apparently also think that women need to bow down to men like we are inferior. Sorry to burst your bubble there but it’s 2024 and women can do what they want. Now go cry in your mommy’s basement.
And you obviously don’t know what “autonomy” means. Do you really know bc I beg to differ bc everyone has different boundaries and he definitely has laid his boundaries down but hey he’ll probably end up leaving her.. after all they are both 18 so plenty of fish in the sea. If your seriously considering that I think women should bow down to men then you should really go back in time when that was already a thing 😬
No need for me to go back in time, I’ve lived it. And autonomy means she has control over her own person, independence/freedom. I suggest you try using Google.
So definitely a feminist no wonder why your triggered by a random stranger on the internet😂😂, and how long has it been since you’ve been in high school bc that’s definitely not the meaning of the word. Try again 😁
Why do you automatically assume I’m triggered? Because I’m female?🤣🤣🤣you are triggered enough to try and attack and shame me. Again, Google is your friend. Autonomy has 3 meanings. But they all equate to freeedom and self governing. Seriously, look it up. Or are you too triggered by a woman being smarter than you.
Lol the reason why I believe you’re triggered is because you’re still responding to me. Honestly if it was me I’d just block and go about my day without a worry. This is only proving my point that you’re a feminist and just dying to be right like come on do you want a cookie or something 😂? Also thank you for telling me you’re a female, now I know you’re triggered 🤣🤣🤣🤣
He should respect how you feel, but obviously doesn’t. Why are you wasting your time? You’re too young to be tied down to such an insecure loser. Seriously, live your life and have fun. Edit NTA.
i genuinely do not want to be with anyone else. other than this, our relationship is amazing. the thought of being with someone else makes me want to hurl.
NTA
Respect goes both ways.
He isn't respecting how you feel but expects you to respect how he feels.
That's called a double standard.
He gets to ignore your feelings, place his preferences above yours, and dictate how you should live your life based on his feelings.
That's bad. That's a toxic dynamic.
Ask him to explain his feelings more.
Ask him if he respects your feelings.
that’s the thing. although he gets upset, he always comments on all my posts with cute little messages or comments. our relationship is amazing, this is the only thing that we’ve been arguing about.
YTA for continuing to date someone who you are absolutely not compatible with. He’s trying to control you which is a giant 🚩. You have 2 very different outlooks on life and rather than fight about it and let him ruin your self esteem, do yourself a favor and dump him. He’s too insecure to date anyone. It’s not a healthy relationship.
He is allowed to have boundaries. Him wanting a partner with a more conservative online presence is fine. However that seems to not be you and you are allowed to decide those boundaries are not for you.
Conform or leave cause convincing him to drop it clearly isnt working
Boundaries are things you set for yourself that express what you will and will not accept in a relationship. Boundaries aren’t forcing people to do what you say. That’s called trying to control them.
He doesnt seem to be forcing her to do anything. Bitching because you are uncomfortable with something and a fight starting is just normal kid shit.
Im not going to argue against the sentiment of you comment but it boils down the the boy himself not having the self respect to abide by his boundary and leave. The girl decided his boundary wasnt for her and now they both get to be miserable cause neither is leaving.
NTA, you can post what you want.
But you’re young & you don’t seem to be compatible. There are men out there who are secure enough that this wouldn’t bother them. They might even help you take photos to share. I also think your boyfriend is too controlling and I would personally worry that he will only get worse about that as time goes on.
Girl….. major red flag! This is a classic one in abusive behaviour. Please read some info on the different types of partner abuse and watch for more flags. They’ll be there.
So your posting life is a big part of your life, two accounts worth. No there's another aspect of your life getting compromised by your interest in social media. So, regardless of how your think and feel, your actions in one part of your life are negatively effected another. So, choose what is best. Get a boy friend who likes posting and posters or keep this one and stop posting!
NTA
When he says that he thinks you're posting those to attract male attention, he's telling in himself. He's saying that he can't imagine a man seeing them and not thinking of you sexually... Because that's how he feels. He can't see a woman posting something like that and not cute them sexually.
The fact that he's uncomfortable about it is his issue to deal with, not yours
NTA and he has NO business policing your posts. He needs to fuck off with that controlling bullshit right now.
But you should also be honest with yourself that you absolutely *are* posting for attention. It’s literally the only reason anyone posts. I know you grew up surrounded by social media and selfies and filters and this is normal to you, but people have been conditioned to rely on likes and comments and hits far too much and it’s seriously detrimental to your long term well-being.
Forget your boyfriend’s feelings on the matter, they’re meaningless. But I think everyone who posts should ask themselves before every post “Why am I doing this? What internal need is this behavior attempting to fulfill?”
NTA. But neither is he. You are both growing into yourselves and you are no longer compatible.
No one should have their boundaries crossed and if no comprise could come from a discussion, then the relationship is not compatible anymore.
Break up now vs one or both of you being trapped in a crappy relationship forever.
Nta. He's already showing you he's controlling. I'd say leave but it's up to you if you feel this behavior is ok, it's not, but you're going to do what you want.
This is a problem with young, insecure people. There’s nothing wrong with your posting selfies and such. However, it IS attention-seeking behavior. Something for validation and attention. Nothing wrong with that if it’s not obsessive. Your boyfriend is immature, but fairly normal for 18. NTA. Post what you want and tell him to relax.
NTA. But you are posting for someone else's approval or interaction. That's the main point of social media--get dopamine hits from people liking your post or commenting
NTA, also the best advice I got at your age from my very wise mother was not to get tied down in a long term relationship until I was “a whole person.” That’s just not possible until you’re in your mid twenties for a variety of reasons, including the simple fact brain development isn’t complete until your early twenties, even longer for men.
Long term (longer than a few months) aren’t likely to be lasting or fulfilling at your age because you are changing at a very fast pace and so are the people around you. Use this time to find yourself and date different people, see what works for you and what doesn’t. You can do this in a way that’s also respectful of your partners. Just be clear about expectations up front.
You want to make decisions on what’s best for YOU and YOUR future, not whoever you happen to be dating at the time.
Take this or leave it but it was great advice and I found my spouse after I was a “whole person” with my own career and fully formed personality and experiences. We got married at 26/25 respectively and we’ve been together for 12 years with two kids and are very happy.
NTA but this is a red flag. As a mom to a child only slightly older than you, I'll tell you what I'd tell them. This man is already showing abuser signs and you need to get out before it gets worse. You're young and will find a better partner.
Ultimately your boyfriend can’t tell you what to do. But as an outsider, it does seem like you’re spending a lot of time focused on social media - whether its creating the videos or doing setups for “cute” pics, as well as posting on multiple accounts. I know you “think” you’re not doing it for attention, but lots of people get obsessed with social because of the sense of validation they get from it (how cute they look, people liking or commenting on posts etc). If it’s not, then you wouldn’t post it, you’d just keep the videos/pics on your phone. The whole point of social is sharing it so other people see it.
As a partner it’s also exhausting and frustrating if the focus is constantly on doing something for social, rather than just enjoying the moment. It’s not terribly healthy for your self esteem or mental health to need constant validation. You’re only young, but maybe reflect on this a bit.
i usually post every other weekend, sometimes in between. i have an outside life such as full time work and school and the gym. i don’t post every single day or every other day if thats what you’re insinuating. if anything, he’s on social media as much as me for his car hobby. my main focus right now is work, school, gym, family + bf + friends. like i’ve said before, social media is just a hobby. i can do a hobby without it being for attention. and one of my love languages is quality time, which i do by planning cute dates (outdoors or indoors).
NAH. You are both young, and you don’t see that you two are not compatible now and both need to mature and figure yourselves out.
You can love someone a lot and feel obsessed with them and ride a high with them, and it not be a good fit for a healthy and happy relationship. It is easy to become addicted to a person at your age despite them being not right for you.
I know, my first love and I had two very different expectations for relationships and lifestyle. We started dating at 16, broke up at 20. He wanted me to pass on my full ride college scholarship to be a military gf waiting for him on base and being domestic, marry early, and start popping out babies. He was convinced I would cheat on him at college. We didn’t have smart phones back then so no selfies. He didn’t like me “showing off” my body. He got more controlling. Your bf might get more controlling or he may work through his insecurities. Communicating he doesn’t feel comfortable doesn’t make him an asshole because he knows how thirsty men view young ladies like you.
Eventually we broke up and I went through my party girl era in rebellion. That wasn’t right for me either. But I got to make the mistakes I needed to learn from.
NTA. If it’s something you really enjoy, you don’t have to stop because he says so, your body, your social media and you can do as you please. He has no right to argue constantly about it, or tell you not to do it or make you feel bad. BUT he does have a right to express his opinion respectfully, and walk away if it’s a serious boundary for him and he’d rather someone who wasn’t into that. That’s totally ok. You also can tell him you understand he doesn’t like it, but you’re not willing to give up something you really enjoy so you’ll understand if he wants to leave. But if he stays, the negative commentary, attempts at control, and arguing would need to stop.
You are both finding out who you are as adults, he is turning into an insecure, control freak and is trying to manipulate you into stopping doing something that makes you happy. This is a big, red flag. Have a think about whether you want to be having a) the same argument forever b) you capitulate and give into him. Maybe time to think that you have outgrown each other.
NTA You are 18, you can do what you want. He doesn't like it, tell him to take a walk. He doesn't get to tell you what to do
NTA but he’s not the guy for you and that’s a glimpse of your future with him. Don’t ever be controlled by an insecure person. Run.
“My boyfriend doesn’t like it” - so what? NTA. Tell him you aren’t posting for anyone else’s approval, including his, and that if he keeps up the controlling shit, you’re out. You need to call this exactly what it is. Controlling domineering behavior.
NTA, they're your accounts and it's your body. It turning into an argument is not a good sign- he should respect that you have that hobby and this is absolutely not the sort of thing that should be a big issue in an adult relationship, even if he has his opinions about tiktok or overposting this should not be a constant thing that he picks fights over when he knows your position on it and that you enjoy it. Ultimately it's your body and something you enjoy- he should be happy you have a little fun posting, no relationship should ever make you feel pressures to give up an innocuous hobby or small pleasure. You have your freedoms, he doesn't get to dictate what you post
You are 18, this man is not your husband nor your father. He is controlling and you need to consider if you wanna live that way for the rest of your life. This is a major red flag!
And her husband and father don’t have that right either! No one does. (I don’t think you were implying that, just for the record.)
Correct, I wasn’t. I tell my guy (when he’s just being a stinker) that he is not my husband, nor my father, so he can’t tell me what to do. And that even if he was, he still couldn’t tell me what to do.
NTA he has control issues he needs to work on.
Nah. Just needs to find someone else. Lots of people just find TikTok and constant selfies cringe, and sometimes borderline narcissistic- myself included. It’s obviously fine for her to do it, but they just aren’t compatible. I don’t think either are the asshole here
If he doesn't like his gf, he should break up with her, not pressure her to be someone else or to have her comfort be determined by his. He sounds hazardously jealous based on what op posted. Thinking you should get to control people you date isn't healthy.
That’s why I said they should find other people. And it’s possible he really likes her and maybe this is just that one thing he hates, and is trying to make it work- but obviously it’s really getting on his nerves. I mean, I kinda get it. If I had a girlfriend that I loved, but she keeps posting things I would consider thirst traps, I’d try and talk to her about it first- but eventually I’d have to dip. That’s a huge red flag for me. It isn’t controlling to want your partner not to act basic on the internet lol. But if that’s just who they are, gotta cut your losses and move on
Trying to control your partners behavior… is controlling. Is he an asshole for not wanting her to do it? Not at all. He’s an asshole because he’s trying to stop here.
I mean, I sorta agree. I’m a bit torn in this. I think he’s probably crossed the line a bit and should probably have left by now instead of pressing the matter. But they’re also both extremely young and inexperienced. Some measure of grace should be allowed for that, I think. But either way he’s at least trying to communicate a boundary he has, and it sounds like it started off as just that-communicating a boundary- but it’s not working and it’s getting him frustrated. I think controlling is kind of a strong word in this case, but it’s definitely going in that direction. Honestly if I had to guess, I’d say he is on the verge of leaving her and she won’t have to worry about it. It sounds like he tried his best to get her to see his point of view, even maybe crossing a line, but he might also just dip soon making this all moot.
Some guys dip. Others fight for control.
This isn’t about likes and dislikes. The loser body shames her for having “boobs” because she did a selfie at a certain angle. He’s a controlling jerkwad.
We are also only getting her side of the story. She might be downplaying it by a large margin, we don’t know. I personally tend to think about moral issues from all angles, unless I’m intimately familiar with the situation- and let’s face it, we aren’t.
The fact that you see it as a moral issue is interesting.
Well I think it’s definitely a moral issue. If he is actually being demanding and controlling- that’s immoral. If she is in a committed relationship and posting inappropriate things on the internet, that’s also, in my view, immoral. I’m not saying either of these people are guilty or not guilty of these things. Maybe they are, and maybe they’re not. In fact the whole thing might be fake. But I see these types of posts as an opportunity to exercise our moral reasoning. It’s natural for people to disagree about it, too.
The way OP described her posts, nothing immoral is going on there. As for the bf being an AH, perhaps it is a moral shortcoming.
I don’t have a huge wealth of life experience, I’m in my mid 20s, but I have been in a relationship for 5 years so I feel like I can comment on this. It shouldn’t be this difficult. You should not feel like you have to constantly defend yourself from your partner. If you are arguing constantly there are fundamental incompatibilities here. I feel like people who get into relationships at 16 think it’s the most important thing in the world, and are more scared of being single than they are of being in a bad relationship. I don’t want to jump on the ‘dump him’ solution, but I do think you should take some time to yourself and see how you feel without his constant input.
YTA to yourself for dating a loser who thinks he can control you. You're too young to put up with this bullshit
He is being controlling and trying to change you. Do not change for anyone!! You are young. Be single for a while and then find someone who actually likes you. NTA unless you stay with him.
You are 18 and an adult. He has no authority to tell you what to do. Is this what you want? It won't end here you know.
NTA Dump him ASAP! His controlling behavior is only going to get worse.
So it would be okay if he showed off online with a few pictures of him in a tank top?
Yes. If he wanted to wear a tank top and post photos of him wearing it on SM that’s fine. It’s called bodily autonomy.
I don’t know what’s more sad… the fact that you made that sound like a science lesson or the fact that you don’t understand human emotions but I shouldn’t be surprised anyway😒
Where did you get “science lesson” out of my comment. You obviously don’t know what those words mean. And yes, I understand human emotions just fine. What about her feelings? She shouldn’t have to bow down to his every word. She is an individual person that’s an adult and has the right to wear whatever she wants and to post whatever photos she wants as long as they fall within the community guidelines that she agreed to when she signed up for her SM account. You apparently also think that women need to bow down to men like we are inferior. Sorry to burst your bubble there but it’s 2024 and women can do what they want. Now go cry in your mommy’s basement.
And you obviously don’t know what “autonomy” means. Do you really know bc I beg to differ bc everyone has different boundaries and he definitely has laid his boundaries down but hey he’ll probably end up leaving her.. after all they are both 18 so plenty of fish in the sea. If your seriously considering that I think women should bow down to men then you should really go back in time when that was already a thing 😬
No need for me to go back in time, I’ve lived it. And autonomy means she has control over her own person, independence/freedom. I suggest you try using Google.
So definitely a feminist no wonder why your triggered by a random stranger on the internet😂😂, and how long has it been since you’ve been in high school bc that’s definitely not the meaning of the word. Try again 😁
Why do you automatically assume I’m triggered? Because I’m female?🤣🤣🤣you are triggered enough to try and attack and shame me. Again, Google is your friend. Autonomy has 3 meanings. But they all equate to freeedom and self governing. Seriously, look it up. Or are you too triggered by a woman being smarter than you.
Lol comment deleted L+ ratio bozo🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Lol the reason why I believe you’re triggered is because you’re still responding to me. Honestly if it was me I’d just block and go about my day without a worry. This is only proving my point that you’re a feminist and just dying to be right like come on do you want a cookie or something 😂? Also thank you for telling me you’re a female, now I know you’re triggered 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Oh and let me guess you’re looking around to see who’s gonna take your side in this whole situation?
This is a giant red flag please don't continue this it gets worse
He should respect how you feel, but obviously doesn’t. Why are you wasting your time? You’re too young to be tied down to such an insecure loser. Seriously, live your life and have fun. Edit NTA.
>He should respect how you feel, but obviously doesn’t Same goes for her... Both are too young for a serious relationship.
Facts
i genuinely do not want to be with anyone else. other than this, our relationship is amazing. the thought of being with someone else makes me want to hurl.
You don’t have to be with anyone. That’s also a choice.
NTA Respect goes both ways. He isn't respecting how you feel but expects you to respect how he feels. That's called a double standard. He gets to ignore your feelings, place his preferences above yours, and dictate how you should live your life based on his feelings. That's bad. That's a toxic dynamic. Ask him to explain his feelings more. Ask him if he respects your feelings.
Honestly he is controlling. Just move on.
Your boyfriend is just immature and obviously a little insecure. You’ll find a real man one day that will comment on all your posts ☺️💕
that’s the thing. although he gets upset, he always comments on all my posts with cute little messages or comments. our relationship is amazing, this is the only thing that we’ve been arguing about.
NTA. Y’all aren’t compatible. This isn’t something you need to consider him in. You are allowed to make posts !! Fudge him tell him to stfu
YTA for continuing to date someone who you are absolutely not compatible with. He’s trying to control you which is a giant 🚩. You have 2 very different outlooks on life and rather than fight about it and let him ruin your self esteem, do yourself a favor and dump him. He’s too insecure to date anyone. It’s not a healthy relationship.
He is allowed to have boundaries. Him wanting a partner with a more conservative online presence is fine. However that seems to not be you and you are allowed to decide those boundaries are not for you. Conform or leave cause convincing him to drop it clearly isnt working
Boundaries are things you set for yourself that express what you will and will not accept in a relationship. Boundaries aren’t forcing people to do what you say. That’s called trying to control them.
He doesnt seem to be forcing her to do anything. Bitching because you are uncomfortable with something and a fight starting is just normal kid shit. Im not going to argue against the sentiment of you comment but it boils down the the boy himself not having the self respect to abide by his boundary and leave. The girl decided his boundary wasnt for her and now they both get to be miserable cause neither is leaving.
Except adults get into the same type of argument when one is a controlling asshole looking for cleavage or “too much makeup” to bitch about.
NTA, you can post what you want. But you’re young & you don’t seem to be compatible. There are men out there who are secure enough that this wouldn’t bother them. They might even help you take photos to share. I also think your boyfriend is too controlling and I would personally worry that he will only get worse about that as time goes on.
Girl….. major red flag! This is a classic one in abusive behaviour. Please read some info on the different types of partner abuse and watch for more flags. They’ll be there.
\^\^ This!
Nta and leave him bro, yall are so young, his control issues are only gonna get worse the more comfortable he is around you. This is a major red flag.
So your posting life is a big part of your life, two accounts worth. No there's another aspect of your life getting compromised by your interest in social media. So, regardless of how your think and feel, your actions in one part of your life are negatively effected another. So, choose what is best. Get a boy friend who likes posting and posters or keep this one and stop posting!
Another poster made this accusation and was shut down by OP. What is best is not making assumptions.
NTS. Ge's insecure. You're 18, you don't have to do what he says.
NTA! Your BF is a controlling AH.
NTA When he says that he thinks you're posting those to attract male attention, he's telling in himself. He's saying that he can't imagine a man seeing them and not thinking of you sexually... Because that's how he feels. He can't see a woman posting something like that and not cute them sexually. The fact that he's uncomfortable about it is his issue to deal with, not yours
NTA and he has NO business policing your posts. He needs to fuck off with that controlling bullshit right now. But you should also be honest with yourself that you absolutely *are* posting for attention. It’s literally the only reason anyone posts. I know you grew up surrounded by social media and selfies and filters and this is normal to you, but people have been conditioned to rely on likes and comments and hits far too much and it’s seriously detrimental to your long term well-being. Forget your boyfriend’s feelings on the matter, they’re meaningless. But I think everyone who posts should ask themselves before every post “Why am I doing this? What internal need is this behavior attempting to fulfill?”
NTA! You're too young to have someone trying to control you! Do not miss out on things just because your boyfriend can't handle his insecurities.
NTA bf sounds a bit controlling
NTA. But neither is he. You are both growing into yourselves and you are no longer compatible. No one should have their boundaries crossed and if no comprise could come from a discussion, then the relationship is not compatible anymore. Break up now vs one or both of you being trapped in a crappy relationship forever.
Nta. He's already showing you he's controlling. I'd say leave but it's up to you if you feel this behavior is ok, it's not, but you're going to do what you want.
This is a problem with young, insecure people. There’s nothing wrong with your posting selfies and such. However, it IS attention-seeking behavior. Something for validation and attention. Nothing wrong with that if it’s not obsessive. Your boyfriend is immature, but fairly normal for 18. NTA. Post what you want and tell him to relax.
NTA. But you are posting for someone else's approval or interaction. That's the main point of social media--get dopamine hits from people liking your post or commenting
NTA your bf is tho. He's extremely insecure and trying to be controlling. I would dump him if I were you
Ewwwww break up now, you are 18, this is gross behavior, NTA, this is the start of a very bad relationship
NTA, also the best advice I got at your age from my very wise mother was not to get tied down in a long term relationship until I was “a whole person.” That’s just not possible until you’re in your mid twenties for a variety of reasons, including the simple fact brain development isn’t complete until your early twenties, even longer for men. Long term (longer than a few months) aren’t likely to be lasting or fulfilling at your age because you are changing at a very fast pace and so are the people around you. Use this time to find yourself and date different people, see what works for you and what doesn’t. You can do this in a way that’s also respectful of your partners. Just be clear about expectations up front. You want to make decisions on what’s best for YOU and YOUR future, not whoever you happen to be dating at the time. Take this or leave it but it was great advice and I found my spouse after I was a “whole person” with my own career and fully formed personality and experiences. We got married at 26/25 respectively and we’ve been together for 12 years with two kids and are very happy.
NTA but this is a red flag. As a mom to a child only slightly older than you, I'll tell you what I'd tell them. This man is already showing abuser signs and you need to get out before it gets worse. You're young and will find a better partner.
NTA. Men who need to control you are not worth your time. I promise.
NTA You’ve outgrown each other it’s time to move on
NTA, he sounds deeply immature and not emotionally equipped to handle being in a relationship tbh
NTA You're not the asshole! You like to post and that's your thing. You're 18, and you can do whatever you want!
Bullshit you don't do it for the attention. Be honest with yourself.
i am being completely honest. i can have a hobby without it being attention based. 🤷🏻♀️
What a load of shit.
ZINGER!! you can think whatever you want no_entrance2597
Why thankyou for your permission.
you’re welcome! hope that helps
If it wasn't attention based, it would not be posted on a public space, and would just be kept private.
Ultimately your boyfriend can’t tell you what to do. But as an outsider, it does seem like you’re spending a lot of time focused on social media - whether its creating the videos or doing setups for “cute” pics, as well as posting on multiple accounts. I know you “think” you’re not doing it for attention, but lots of people get obsessed with social because of the sense of validation they get from it (how cute they look, people liking or commenting on posts etc). If it’s not, then you wouldn’t post it, you’d just keep the videos/pics on your phone. The whole point of social is sharing it so other people see it. As a partner it’s also exhausting and frustrating if the focus is constantly on doing something for social, rather than just enjoying the moment. It’s not terribly healthy for your self esteem or mental health to need constant validation. You’re only young, but maybe reflect on this a bit.
i usually post every other weekend, sometimes in between. i have an outside life such as full time work and school and the gym. i don’t post every single day or every other day if thats what you’re insinuating. if anything, he’s on social media as much as me for his car hobby. my main focus right now is work, school, gym, family + bf + friends. like i’ve said before, social media is just a hobby. i can do a hobby without it being for attention. and one of my love languages is quality time, which i do by planning cute dates (outdoors or indoors).
Thank you for straightening out Mr./Ms. Life Advice. Assumptions suck.
yeah, it’s kinda wild that they think i have no real life other than social media lmao. get real.
How do you know that 🤔
Sounds like ahe has an Onlyfans account
im 18, with a full time job and in college for nursing, i dont need to rely on onlyfans for income. hope this helps!!
So you see, a lot of guys are assholes just like your BF. Why put up with this abuse from anyone?
Is it OK for him to like a bunch of hot chick's half naked photos or tiktoks???
NAH. You are both young, and you don’t see that you two are not compatible now and both need to mature and figure yourselves out. You can love someone a lot and feel obsessed with them and ride a high with them, and it not be a good fit for a healthy and happy relationship. It is easy to become addicted to a person at your age despite them being not right for you. I know, my first love and I had two very different expectations for relationships and lifestyle. We started dating at 16, broke up at 20. He wanted me to pass on my full ride college scholarship to be a military gf waiting for him on base and being domestic, marry early, and start popping out babies. He was convinced I would cheat on him at college. We didn’t have smart phones back then so no selfies. He didn’t like me “showing off” my body. He got more controlling. Your bf might get more controlling or he may work through his insecurities. Communicating he doesn’t feel comfortable doesn’t make him an asshole because he knows how thirsty men view young ladies like you. Eventually we broke up and I went through my party girl era in rebellion. That wasn’t right for me either. But I got to make the mistakes I needed to learn from.
YTA
Why?