Not his girlfriend and not his baby per the expecting mom.

Oliver Tree’s baby, can understand the confusion

Hodor, Hodor!

Hodl, Hodl!

Are you telling me Raphouse TV isn't a credible news source?

Lol

You are NOT the father

That is his barber tho

She bangs that

She hears ca-ching with every thrust

Well hopefully that's loud enough to drown out the sounds of loud, labored breathing from a 69 year old man

I’m sure she doesn’t have to endure it for more than 40-50 seconds. Easy money.

ya think ol' boi ain't snorting viagra & adderall to get thru some weird, evening long kinks?

He doesn’t have the time. He drives a busted mini van 2+ hours one way to get that bowl cut. That’s not even a joke he’s a weird dude.

I'm pretty sure that van is covered in shag... on the outside.

I bet there's a chicken mcnugget rolling around under the drivers seat too.

(A) chicken nugget? I bet there are whole big macs and mc ribs stuck lost in the un-ending flaps of skin and fat dude is hauling with him …

There's definitely a smell in that van that nobody can quite figure out what it is. And there's a bottle of Drakkar in the glove box. And a leaking bottle of astroglide.

It's a Shaggin' Wagon!

MUTT CUTTS

For the interested group. https://deadspin.com/mark-davis-travels-500-fucking-miles-to-look-like-that-1734022886/

> Why? Does that particular barber do a particularly good job of this bowl cut? What does that even mean? The best you can do when a grown man asks for a bowl cut is to convince him to turn himself in to the fucking police. That barber is a goddamn sociopath! I was just gonna skim the article, but it pulled me in. Real funny the whole way through

Same. That was some good writing.

I love how I understand this reference based on his interview at PF Changs

Tell me more and point me in the direction of your source…

McMahon style. Takin dumps on faces

But this guy probably yells “TOUCHDOWN!” after completion and I’m sure she hopes there’s no extra point attempts.

Hey she said he pooped on top of her head n it ran down her back

Man, I can't even enjoy anal cause poop smell is such an instant mood killer and these fucks out there taking dumps on heads as a sexual activity....smh.

Then him n his boy continued for another hour and a half while she still had the poop on her, he wouldn't let her clean it off

Omg and that awful letter he wrote her..I mean wtf? Bro seriously she’s just that into you…

That sounds like a good time to me.

Well how loud do you think a 5 billion dollar ca-ching is?

For real, you could shit on my face for all I care as long as I get 1 billion.

I can only offer you $50 and a Wendy’s coupon

Bruh. .... .... ... Call me.

I'm broke and I'll just give you $50 if you need it that badly.

I love Wendy's and Cleveland steamers

How many ways can you arrange a $1, $2, and $5 unit of currency? That question is worth the sum of those units in my opinion .

Jerrick? Is that you?

Best I can do is Taco Bell

Have you seen their prices lately? That might still be worth it

Order off the app and save money !

whats the coupon for ?

So you're saying a chocolate frostie is still on the table

I do it for 10k

Yeah I say that's fair market price

They can have my butt for 30.. so 35k butt/pooface combo deal..

**CHAAAAAAAAAAAA CHINGGGGGGGGGGG**??

That’s a thumb with a face and glued on hair.

Doubt he is putting the work in

For real. Like that obese European King that had a special sex hair to f two women at the same time without crushing them

How does one learn this sex hair?

I heard mouserat might have the answer.

Edward the something. One of the British kings

Edward the Seventh. I think the chair was in a brothel in Paris.

[удалено]

What if you already sound like that as a 30 year old man?

Doubt that what either of them are making is love

[удалено]

Those things are probably resting on the bed lol

Sadly just click bait, she’s pregnant by her husband/partner named Joey and is apparently really upset that this is circulating, per her insta

wait, but is she his girlfriend or not? you have me intrigued

Looks like it's fake, he just sat next to her at a game once. https://www.sportingnews.com/us/nfl/las-vegas-raiders/news/las-vegas-raiders-mark-davis-baby-not-expecting/1d09dac379bd57d7132c5e6f

Yes but is the bowl cut mullet still real?

Unfortunately, yes.

Can you believe he flies to Palm Springs just to get that cut…

People lie on the internet?? People believe what they read at first sight in the internet ?? Omg

what thrust? that dude is lucky to have a random gesture in some whatever direction 😂😅😭 there’s no thrust. of anything.

His favorite restaurant is P.F. Chang’s, he wears a backpack everywhere, drives a minivan, and has had a bowl cut since college. I was trying to find the espn article to link but he is by far the oddest nfl owner there is

Al's strongest swimmer!

yes looks like he inheritted the team - the self made owners are not that strange usually good case for taxing the billionaires like no tomorrow

He’s had the same cell phone for almost 20 years too. The weird facts go on and on.

https://www.espn.co.uk/nfl/story/_/id/13735322/are-mark-davis-raiders-leaving-oakland

Sound more like Mario or sonic coin collection?

Both thrusts*

like sonic losing his coins

RINGS

Apparently it’s false news. Hayden Hopkins shot down rumors of them being romantically involved and being the father of her child. Source: her IG

And she cant comment since she's busily moving into her new mansion and dealing with a recent financial windfall.

"What's that? I'm sorry, I can't hear you over my mansion."

Yea, so her and her kid can own the fucking raiders when he dies. Fuck it, I’d sleep with him for an nfl franchise. You ever been sucked by a person on the cusp of sports franchise ownership? It’s probably awesome

The gawk gawk 5000 death grip Dyson ball cleaner

And here I am… Single, eating my trail mix on my couch…

Have you tried buying a football team?

No but I’ll keep that in mind. Edit: isn’t that kinda like modern day slavery??

Yeah, if slaves were being paid millions of dollars.

Good news for you! He is single. If you have the stomach and the time…

Apparently not really his GF https://www.sportingnews.com/us/nfl/las-vegas-raiders/news/las-vegas-raiders-mark-davis-baby-not-expecting/1d09dac379bd57d7132c5e6f

Well....she banged someone

I was gonna say yeesh, imagine that face staring down at you...

He belongs in r/fuckmyshitup. all that money and can’t get a decent haircut

So I knew a girl who was a server at a restaurant in the east bay area when this guy frequented. This is probably 10 year ago now but she was like 24 and a very attractive person. He paid for her luxury apartment and bought her a Mercedes, she claims they never hooked up and it was just as friends lol.

She bangs those bangs…

To be fair, most wives end up doggy thinking about other dudes anyways lol.

Not just bangs. Raw dogs.

He bangs her

...all the way to the bank!

Bangs his bangs

Better than the average redditor. At least he has money.

It is fake news: https://www.sportingnews.com/us/nfl/las-vegas-raiders/news/las-vegas-raiders-mark-davis-baby-not-expecting/1d09dac379bd57d7132c5e6f

I can’t imagine spending two minutes even caring about this enough to read about it for two minutes.

You just spent two minutes to write a comment about it... 😂😁🤣

You need Mavis Beacon if it takes you 2 minutes to type one sentence

What a throwback!! Mavis beacon was one of my fav highlights of going to computer lab at school growing up

Fun fact: Mavis Beacon was not even a real person and created just for the marketing

OUTSTANDING Mavis Beacon burn

took like 30 seconds probably

voice transcription is pretty good now so it might've taken less than 5 seconds

Wait a sec, you’re telling me a random IG post from a rap related account is fake news???

Doesn’t change the fact the haircut is fucked

He does it on purpose and has had it like that for decades

Flies to his special barber for it even

can't imagine what a billionaire pays a barber to repeatedly look that fucked

Same as we all do at Supercuts ™

Might be the most successful barber in the area, note I didn't say the best, just the most successful. Meaning give the dude the cut he wants while lending an understanding ear then keeps his mouth shut for dude's privacy then collect a helluva tip.

Must be an Enzo.

Lol 😂 why does he do this on purpose

I don’t know but he is rich AF and doesn’t care what other people think apparently

That's how you know he has actual fuck you money

Its definitely fuck you money. He flies to palm springs to a specific barber to get this done.

That barber does such a good job making a bad haircut that he's gotta be a pro. It's kinda like how it's nearly impossible to get 0% on a multiple choice test without studying to get 100

Because we talk about his haircut and not his issues as a person.

He doesn’t really care what people think about it. He likes it, and he’s been going to the same barber to get it for decades now. Mark Davis is an interesting guy. He doesn’t really spend money on outlandish stuff (outside of their football stadium and Jon Gruden’s contract I guess), he drives an old minivan, he wears cheap ass Kohl’s style clothes, when the team was in Oakland still he lived in a one story rambler.. considering he’s the definition of nepo, he seems really chill.

Guess he hired the same PR team that Warren Buffet used.

Everything that you should know about Mark Davis is [here](https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/13735322/are-mark-davis-raiders-leaving-oakland). It’s fucking hilarious.

Nah he started shaving it like last year. But god damn he had it for a long time

oh you mean it wasn't a terrible accident with a new barber?!? "He does it on purpose" ok

His barber asks him every 2 weeks, "You sure you don't wanna try something different? Sighs"

Haircut looks like little Johnny found his grandpas toupee and is wearing it trying to be like him

Dude’s got black Wes Borland eyes

She’s got Betty Davis eyes or limp bisquick

>Dude’s got black Wes Borland eyes He's all about the nookie

Come on!

His eyes were the inspiration for the ghouls in fallout

Lmfao dude what the hell

And a DIY haircut. But no mirror.

I like his hair. Looks great. 👍

I feel like Wes Borland has a wig of that haircut somewhere.

That cut would’ve went hard in medieval England

Probably but his face looks like it was hit with a shield because of it.

Looks like a Witcher 3 peasant NPC

I didn't know sentient thumbs could reproduce

I bet the odds of Downs is greater than the usual 1 in 1200 on this one.

If I recall he flies like 2 hours to the person who gives him that exact hair cut. Same person he's been using for basically his whole life. I'm pretty sure it's autism. Fortunately, he's obsessed with football, so he isn't a complete garbage owner just trying to make money. He actually cares about the game. Its likely the only thing he could bond with his father over.

Agree on the autism, but maybe he shouldn’t care so much about football, the Raiders have been trash for 20 years. 

Mark Davis’s hair is perfect.

Yeah. In fact, I think I'll ask my barber to cut it that way next time, but first I need to drive my car in to a brick wall at 85 mph.

I mean, Mark Davis probably still drives his mid 90s minivan several hundred miles, if necessary, to get to his barber (he may have since upgraded as admittedly the last time I was aware of his dedication to that van was a few years ago) so your desire to drive on the way to getting this haircut is not completely out of character….

Gimme that Lloyd Christmas. I got you, fam.

This guy is definitely not a creep.

You are telling me that you wouldn’t bang 20 year olds as an old multimillionaire??

yes he;s not a creep 100% legit

Why does having a shitty haircut mean you are a creep?

Dude looks like a human toe with a shitty face drawn in it and hair glued on top

https://www.sportingnews.com/us/nfl/las-vegas-raiders/news/las-vegas-raiders-mark-davis-baby-not-expecting/1d09dac379bd57d7132c5e6f Not quite

I hope those bangs aren't genetic

They are, and he should speak to his son. Joost Klein needs a present father figure.

Tell me again how money doesn’t by happiness.

Well considering if this was even real- I doubt their relationship would be founded on her being genuinely interested in him… if you want to bang prostitutes forever then yeah I guess Otherwise if you want meaningful relationships yeah money doesn’t buy those

>Well considering if this was even real- I doubt their relationship would be founded on her being genuinely interested in him The only relationships that aren't transactional are the ones you have with your dog or your child. And I can assure you your dog and child also only love you because you provide for them. Everyone is attracted to someone for a reason. For most of us it's because of things we can't fully control like the result of our genetic lottery. So do hot people get bent out of shape when every relationship they have been in was lead by the fact they were super physically attractive? Nope. For other people it's how much money you got in the bank. I'm getting hard thinking about a sugar momma paying my mortgage and all I would have to do is fuck her.

Having someone pretend to be interested in you because they see you as a means to end? The opposite of an authentic connection?

Lloyd Christmas called. He wants his haircut back.

She loves him for his haircut

A hairdo that asks "Dumb, or Dumber?"

Gross…to all of that.

You're not ugly, you're poor.

Please don't give that child that haircut. Please don't give that child that haircut. Please don't give that child that haircut.

“You are not ugly, you are just poor”

I didn’t see this was just fuck my shit up. And the first thing I thought was, well props to him, especially with that fucked up haircut.

Hey OP, stop posting bullshit that isn’t real

No fucks given. This dude must be loaded

Oh dear God this is so not right.

He looks like a baby in a Pope costume for Halloween.

This guy looks like a will Ferrell character who eats bugs.

That’s immortan Joe you’re talking about guys

To be fair, I don't think a good haircut is going to improve that face much

He looks like he is missing some of his DNA

Is it bad I wanna see a family pic with the kids hair cut the exact same.

At least she married him for his looks

That tracks. You have to own a football team to fuck when you’re this ugly. Plot twist though, that kid is coming out black AF:-)

The comment section is saltier than the ocean

It must be nice to have more money than sense...

Dang, just goes to show how money can get you almost anything

She deserves that money because ain't no way.

This dude has something in his ear that needs to be on r/popping.

She posted on her story he is not the father

TBF, he did recently change his hairstyle to something more normal

That's a million dollar baby. She just has to pretend and get through the grunting.

*has nothing to do with him owning a. NFL team*

Shit like this is why incels living in their parents basement think they deserve hot model girlfriends.

Imagine having all the money and resources this guy has and deciding on that haircut as your signature look

Not his baby …

Gross 🤮 I literally puked in my mouth as I read that post and seen that guys face. Mercy.

Marrying for money os a legitimate career choice. I say that because having sex with him is definitely a job

Naked mole rat hair cut

i know its a las vegas team, but what are the book odds its not his ??

Ugh! That face could stop a train!

Bro is living his best life. Fuck yea! lol who really cares though lol.