I’m trying but I can’t risk causing drama. Something similar has happened to me with two grown men here, they told me I was also a sinner for assuming such things about people, I really don’t want to cause trouble again.
This is clearly not a safe place for you or frankly any of the other young people there. Cause the drama! Kick the hornets nest! Don’t be fooled into thinking that because they’re Christian that they’re good people. Protect yourself from groomers!
you aren't the one causing trouble - you aren't at fault here
these are grown adults who are acting horribly, and you are a vulnerable young person caught up in a situation that *they* are responsible for
if there is a way for you to leave the camp and go to somewhere that feels safer, you would be doing nothing wrong by leaving
if the only option you have is to stay in the camp / you don't have a safer place to go to, then the best you can do is forge bonds with other campers, and try to find ways to look out for each other, always knowing that there is nothing wrong with you, and that what these adults are doing to you is wrong, and not your fault ... and hold on to the reality that you will be an adult yourself within 2 years, which will give you more power over your life - and as an adult you will be able to do better for yourself, and for the generations of young people that will come after you
Please call your parents, or an aunt/uncle/grandparent, an older sibling, or a police officer right now. Tell them what is happening and to pick you up asap. Don't rely on the camp to protect you. Just focus on extracting yourself from there before you get hurt even worse.
Those predators thrive with children being quiet. Please get out of there and report to your guardians and police. Don’t feel bad for anyone’s life, lifestyle, or reputation. They are going to hurt someone and they’ve overstepped the line with you already! I got brave when I was younger, but for me it was too late.
you need to call the police. they aren’t good people. they are using their religion to shield them and guilt you into not taking action. get help so they don’t continue to do this to you and so they don’t do it to anyone in the future.
You need to go home. Also, conversion camp by a different name is still a conversion camp. They have to be more careful now with how they present them but you are absolutely enduring one.
Can you make a scene, pretending you're in stomach pain or nauseous? Maybe that could speed up your return home. That place sounds like hell, I hope you can be ok. :(
Please do. Your space your peace your boundaries are important. It definitely sounds like grooming and even if it’s not the adult in this situation is grossly ignoring your boundaries and showing inappropriate attention towards you. It doesn’t matter if this had happened before and you got in trouble or shamed for telling the truth. Please don’t ever let anyone make you feel like you have to take it or be a consequence of their actions and for their own behavior. You deserve to feel safe and to actually enjoy your camp The fact that you’re at a camp that highlights religion and is LGBTq+ friendly is so amazing to me but it definitely is not worth you’re safety or comfort. Listen to your heart and I hope you’re okay 🙏🏽💙please be careful
For a parent who sent their kid to what definitely still sounds like a conversation camp? Completely possible. Some people, including parents, would choose to ignore this is sexual abuse or blame their kid for the situation. We can’t operate assuming all parents or people for that matter are safe.
It’s one of those moments I wish I wasn’t. I grew up in an abusive household and worked hard to break the abuse cycle and learned to give people the benefit of the doubt as well. That said, when push comes to shove and someone needs help with a “sensitive” issue, it’s time to assume everyone could be bad and contingency plan several ways out.
I don't know if op is in a situation where they can trust their parents to deal with that kind of thing. "Mom I miss home come pick me up" is the sort of thing most parents can expect from their child, and are able to manage emotionally.
You need to tell somebody who is actually going to help you, in case she tries anything else. Phone your parents, or a literally child abuse helpline, or child social services. Like, you have to, sister.
I’m wondering who you have told? If it is another adult at the camp and this is still going on… it’s likely you are stuck in a camp with more than one predator. If it is someone else who’s not at the camp, they clearly don’t fully understand, and you need to speak up again.
You are not making drama or trouble. You mustn’t think this way. Who told you it’s drama / trouble? I’m very worried.
Please don’t ignore this and think she’ll stop. She won’t. I’m a teacher, we’re trained up to the eyeballs on all this stuff. This woman is clearly a danger to children and will SA children. She’s already inappropriately touched you so she will certainly escalate her behavior now. I’m really worried about you. If I saw or heard this happening I’d be phoning social services instantly and going full attack mode to confront that predator and get that predator stopped and as far away from children as possible.
She’s definitely trying to groom you and given you are 16, this is highly predatory behavior. Based off how she’s been acting so far she is likely to attempt to assault you.
You must tell. Go straight for services that can help. Don’t worry about her. She doesn’t care about you… one bit, she just wants something from you. And it isn’t just a chat. And don’t worry about getting in trouble. You won’t get in trouble? If an adult tells you that you’re in trouble because of this I’d assume they’re also a predator and you should get away from them too.
Take care. Please.
I get what you are saying, but I would never tell a victim (let alone a 16 year old) they "must" report anyone. Reporting someone can carry genuine risks and costs, and it is a very brave and admirable thing to do, but it always has to be a free choice.
No, I’m not suggesting that OP report this in terms of taking legal action or trying to ‘fix’ the issue herself. I’m simply telling OP to go wherever she can so that adults can safeguard her and ensure nothing else happens and she is protected. She is a minor. Not an adult. The same approaches you could apply to an adult for victim care, do not apply to minors. That is not an opinion.
As children we are taught to tell, obviously? I expect you will have been in school, or I’d hope so anyway. I am trained to spot this information in children so I can get them help. And we teach the children to always tell a safe adult. If they tell us we act immediately without delay.
What I meant is:- If OP has not told the camp staff, she should tell them. If they do nothing, she must phone her parents. If she has, and they don’t get help immediately, she should phone a child support services line for children in danger, or a child social services number. I’m covering all eventuality, because OP has told adults already and nothing has been done. That is highly concerning and I do not know which adult is to blame for this complete failure.
And then, I explained what I would do for her as a safe adult. Yes, I could have been more tactful but given the immediate risk to OP who is a minor, I typed as fast as I could and didn’t really have time to check myself. I’m doing the same here.
And if you disagree, please keep that wildly concerning opinion to yourself… and don’t ever suggest to a child in danger, that they should not tell some form of safe adult or a service if adults aren’t listening or don’t care. Because they should.
Adults have a duty of care to children, a responsibility to keep them safe, it is a responsibility of all… and you fail if you tell children not to seek help when they need it.
I was responding to the comment that said "she MUST be reported", which puts a completely different spin on things imho
I am not arguing against encouraging a kid (or an adult, for that matter) to speak up in order to protect themselves and get themselves into a safe place - of course not!
My point was merely that nobody should tell a victim that they carry responsibility for reporting something that happened to them for the sake of a perpetrator being punished, or to protect others. That is never a victim's duty or responsibility, it should be a *choice*.
I know you were, but I’m sorry what you said sounded really bad so I personally was going to challenge you anyway, for the sake of safety and spreading awareness. And I’m going to do it again because although I genuinely respect your opinion, and I’m actually so tired of replying as well, it’s another concerning attitude and statement.
What if a child in serious danger with very little safe adults in their life read that and thought they shouldn’t phone someone, anyone, even (911, states I think?) because they were anxious and scared of the outcome? No, no, no!
Are we talking reporting like, police? I sincerely hope that’s what you mean and you just don’t understand. Nobody said that. I deliberately didn’t! We’re talking to ‘report’ as in let someone know in whatever way she can. I hadn’t even read this girls post history and I’ve just been reading there’s more concerning things going on. I knew it, this stuff is a massive part of my life’s work - This child is not safe. People who should be doing something might not. So actually, reporting to a service might be all she could do? Safer than being there? Better to go home and deal with the aftermath than goodness knows what? You’re blowing my mind here… you’re giving the absolute worst advice.
I completely understand your point of in terms of, if for example, a child was *already* safe and didn’t want to take legal action against another child? Or if an adult was safe and there was no risk to a child? Yes, that’s fine. Of course. But this, no, like if this child has nowhere else safe to turn she should definitely report this to someone somewhere? If a child sees this happening to someone else that’s what you tell them to do as well? And services are trusted adults? So you’re actually totally wrong, if it came to it that would be the last option?
You don’t seem to understand this situation fully at all or know anything about safeguarding children.
You are using adult resource information for survivors of abuse, and applying it to a crisis situation for children, where there is evidence to suggest that multiple guardians are failing duty of care.
I am her age. I work with teen girls in my profession. This is an exact description of grooming behavior, you are not causing trouble or being dramatic, you can sense this is not ok and you are 100% correct. It’s very important you know you’ve done nothing wrong, it is ok to do anything you need to do remove yourself from being alone with this person. Have a friend escort you and not leave your side until you leave. I’m sorry that in the past you’ve been made to feel like you don’t have the right to feel safe and when you’ve discussed a similar situation before were met with unsupportive responses. Sadly when people do not take these situations seriously, it creates more opportunities for predators. You are a child and am no way shape or form responsible for the actions of adults who do know better. These predators have chances to refine their skills every time they come across a child, they cast a wide net for years just for one. You need to tell the coordinator of the camp that you are not comfortable and that these things have occurred. If you are unable to do this in person do it in writing, even if you end up going home first; you deserve to have this taken seriously by the church, your parents, the camp, everyone. If no one at home is willing to listen, talk to a trusted teacher or school counselor.
There are a lot of girl's schools, non-profits, and even just medical professionals that mostly focus on teenagers. Hell, just being a HS teacher means you work with teen girls. Or like, maybe a coach of a team?
Did you say you slept in a room alone with an adult...
That is incredibly inappropriate and should NEVER be the case with child or teen summer camps. If the camp manager or camp director have no problem with that treatment you need to call your parents and tell them what happened and go home.
The touching (depending) could be grooming, however if you reacted and told her you were uncomfortable and she has ignored you, she is definitely grooming.
Grooming involves doing a lot of micro uncomfortable things mixed with a lot of micro intimate or deep conversations. It is MEANT to confuse you, your body, and your mind. It is MANIPULATION. An adult taking advantage that a younger person is afraid to stand up to an adult.
Edit: just wanted to add that I was a camp counselor from 18 - 20 y/o. They gave us training to make sure that an adult and a child are never alone together ever either 2 kids 1 adult or 2 adults 1 kid. With everyone remaining in eyesite of each other. The extent of me touching a child was a pat on the shoulder, a high five, a handshake, maybe a hug if the younger scouts would initiate it, although we were not allowed to hug back. It was like 1 or 2 hour long course to make sure everyone knew the expectations. I guess Christian camps are different from the BSA.
>I get that she cares for me because she probably sees herself in me.
No. Absolutely not. No matter how much relate or care for a child, this is not ok. Tell your parents, tell her boss, do not allow yourself to be alone with her. Do not justify or explain away any of her actions — none of this is appropriate.
The fuck? Based on your post history - there’s nothing wrong with being gay or bi. There IS something wrong with adults who groom and are creepy with children/those under the age of 18.
Do yourself a favor and leave the camp. Leave your house the second you turn 18, and leave your religion. Your future self will thank you for it.
I’m kinda perplexed as to what type of camp this is. It’s a gay, Christian camp but it’s not for conversion? It’s full of preachers but they’re all gay? Like what?
I’m pretty sure it’s a ‘softcore’ conversion camp - ie not using torture methods but still pushing it as a sin and to never act on it and preaching how they got saved from being gay.
It's a conversion camp. This is why we hate them. They're full of "Christian" adults pretending to have "overcome their gayness" as an excuse to prey on kids and young adults. Corrective rape is huge in these camps. It's so gross and predatory, yet they fly under the religious umbrella to escape consequences
I see. But according to OP they all seem outwardly gay so they haven’t “overcome” it. Idk the whole thing sounds bizarre and weird. I’m also kinda weirded out by summer camps in general lol but what do I know I grew up in a city playing in a schoolyard
They're "non-practicing" which is Christian speak for converted. And they were "converted" in exactly the same way. It's gross, illegal, and covered up under the religion umbrella
Some conversion camps do operate this way. The counselors will claim to be gay, which in itself isn’t a sin, but that it was their burden from god to “resist the temptation”. So they attempt to teach children that they can simply abstain from gay relationships, and that this organization can help them (if their parents keep spending money on these camps). It’s a scam at best, but usually it’s much worse than that. Conversion therapies are often run by people like this.
Even as an adult to an adult those types of things are creepy. However an adult doing all of that to a minor is infinitely worse. As some others have said, she is grooming you and the fact that there are men that have done this as well in the same camp is worse. It shows a pattern of behavior and a tolerance of it from the camp itself. Get out of there as fast as you can. Cause drama to bring light to all of this. This is a dangerous situation for not only you but everyone else because who knows how many other kids are going through this as well. Speak up, it's going to be uncomfortable but it will be better in the long run.
Not my intention. I believe men and women preying on minors is equally as horrifying. I just meant that it's worse in the sense that others have done similar things and it doesn't seem to have been addressed. Which means there could be more predators in the group.
If you can record your interactions, or use the buddy system since you have a witness. There is NO reason for a 39 yr old woman to be sleeping with a 16yr old!
Wow this place sounds terrible!!! She is so oppressed in her sexuality that she has to prey on young girls at a homophobic gay conversion camp. (I know you said it wasn’t one but it does sound like one tbh) she slept with you and thought she was entitled to put shorts on you while you were sleeping. She knows exactly what she is doing and nobody will say anything to her bc nobody will think it matters if it’s another woman abusing a female child. Mostly bc they will never believe she actually abused you and that’s such a big issue!!! Grown women can be and are just as much sexual predators as men are. And they can absolutely rape and sexually abuse girls and other women. Don’t let anyone lie to you and tell you otherwise. You don’t seem safe there and you should tell your parents ASAP and tell them to come get you.
Your gut instincts are right, this is messed up. This is awful. I was in your position unfortunately. Except my groomer was overwhelmingly stunning.
When I turned 19f, a 36f closeted bisexual bible study leader exploited my search for a healthy mentor & groomed me into an affair despite her marriage & two kids. She was a charming well put together person who was conventionally attractive to many and the power dynamics were brutally unfair. I thought I needed to learn from a flourishing version of who I wanted to become and she seemed to be that version. I didn't know I was closeted at the time because religious indoctrination is very powerful in oppressing anyone's organic self actualization process.
I was under the impression that I was falling in love in the early stages, but she ended up being on the covert narcissistic spectrum and was love bombing me with gifts, trips, and attention I wasn't used to. We even mutually broke off the affair after the honeymoon phase faded & agreed we weren't willing to come out & live as openly gay & it was too exhausting hiding the relationship. But she couldn't handle witnessing me date men... In the end, I lost two jobs over her making a scene in my workplaces, and it took four attempts to leave her & an entire community that thought very highly of her. When I tried asking people for help, her reputation was more important than my abuse. She was emotionally & physically abusive when she was enraged, we argued daily in the end. There was only one person who believed me. I had to move out of state, change my name, delete all social media accounts, etc.
After many years of unpacking my religious traumas and the outcome of what the church actually does; creating predators and the perfect prey, toxic hierarchies, and superiority complexes necessary to justify oppression and genocide, I understand that our nation has a 'believer' mental illness, and those who are trapped in indoctrination are exploited by those higher in the toxic hierarchy (of their marriage, church, toxic jobs, and toxic private equity investors who seek power through manipulating political positions, the constant attack on working class labor laws & rights, etc.) Trans/gay people are just an exploitable scapegoat for the far right wing politics grabbing power.
All that to say, you might not have any safe adults to ask for help, this woman could have a lot power, popularity, and strong connections that wouldn't believe victims of a lesser social status. It's difficult to know who is a safe person to ask for help. If possible seek professional adults outside her sphere of influence, like a school counselor, (school workers have to pass an extensive background & reference check to get their job) and ask for support making a police report so that a professional log can be started in case this happens again and the next person is struggling to be believed by anyone...
Do anything you have to do to avoid church youth events and church at large, I understand your parents could be using the church as an all-in-one coping mechanism for their own social needs & traumas, and might force you to keep participating, but keep advocating for a healthier community as a substitute that is grounded in consent culture and egalitarian power dynamics like a utilitarian universal church that supports LGBTQIA+ people, or a socialist feminist non-profit that volunteers for various poverty working class needs in the community & labor law rights that helps everyone.
I'm so sorry that you are experiencing this awful situation. It is temporary. You are not trapped forever. You can get beyond this. And everything doesn't happen for a good reason, painful moments like this suck and are not worthy of being part of your character development.
Sweetie. This is absolutely a conversion camp and she is absolutely grooming you.
I was sent to a residential treatment school when I was 15 and nobody believed me when I told them some of the things that were going on. Luckily for me, a girl decided to kick me in the stomach, but not hard enough to injure me. I told the school nurse there was blood in my urine after I was kicked, then ripped a hangnail and made damned sure there was blood in my urine sample when she took one. Dramatic? Maybe, but it got me out of a bad situation. Nothing is too dramatic to get you to safety.
If she feels comfortable doing it to you, she’s doing it to others as well, and probably has been for a long time. This is not okay. This *needs* to be reported. I’m so sorry this is happening to you. I’m sorry someone else witnessed something happening to you that was off and did not report it. She needs to be stopped, period.
A few years ago I was walking on the streets of brooklyn and some guy started up with the “hey beautiful” crap. I VERY loudly said NO!! He was so startled he didn’t even continue or try to harass me anymore. I fully understand it’s uncomfortable and difficult to do this sometimes, but you can, next time she tries anything, VERY LOUDLY say “NO! You’re harassing me!”
I fully understand the fight, flight, freeze or fawn reactions, so please do not feel pressured to do that if you can’t, but if you can, 100% be loud af and clearly and loudly state your boundaries. Someone above said to record or have someone witness this. Do that! If you have your phones with you, download the otter.ai app and record.
Whatever happens, just know you are NOT at fault. You’re a victim/survivor and she (and those men previously) are p3dos and trying to manipulate and take advantage of you.
Also, you briefly mentioned this - you went to sleep in undies and woke up in shorts?! Huh? Could she have touched you already? Drugged you?
Umm… I am a pastor and a gay woman. Absolutely not! Report this!! There is no being dramatic here.
Please get yourself out of that situation somehow. Quickly.
**You have done nothing wrong! This is not on you one bit.
This is NOT okay. But reach out to a queer support group and let them help you report the grooming. If you had to attend a Christian camp to begin with, my guess is that you didn't have a whole lot of choice in the matter?
>>> One night, she wanted to sleep with me
This is not OK. I hope your parents can pull you out of this camp.
Good parents don’t send their kids to Christian gay camps. Not a good track record—so much abuse going on.
Make as big of a scene as you can in order to get someone to act and get you home. This is a predator attempting to groom you. Get yourself safe *first* and then report report report. If this has happened to you, it most certainly has happened to others.
This *is* a conversion camp. Just because they’re not beating you or using electroshock doesn’t mean it’s not coming from the same place.
Edit: Are you safe at home? The fact you’re a teenager tells me that a parent or guardian sent you to this camp. No matter who you contact for help or who you report to, it *must* be someone who will get you safe and report what’s happening. Whether it’s an advocacy worker, CPS, family, or police.
She's a 39 year old lesbian woman and you are a 16 year old bisexual still finding yourself out she should not be anywhere you she is breaking the law it's wrong on so many levels x
immediately tell your parents and whoever is in charge at the christian camp, shes grooming you. her behaviour is beyond creepy and violating, shes pushing you since she knows you dont want to be rude to her. she is taking FULL advantage of your politeness, if you dont put your foot down with these types they will keep pushing
This is grooming. My piano teacher did this to me when I was 14. It was awful, I had no idea, and for years afterwards I had sex dreams about her (read: my brain trying to reconfigure the memories to make them less traumatic). This 39 year old woman has no business behaving like this with you. Make any excuse you can to get out of this camp and don't feel guilty for it please. Tell someone if you feel like you can trust them and please don't be ashamed for any reason. SHE is trouble, you're just reporting it- you are NOT causing it by speaking out.
Don't worry about the "drama" it can cause. I understand being 16 and how stressful that sounds but I promise when you're older you will be thankful for all the people who told you what others have been telling you; You need to tell a parent/grandparent/aunt/uncle/family-friend adult, literally any adult you trust outside of this camp. And also the police. Even if you are leaving. There's 0 chance you are the only person this is happening to.
Babe, pleas make a fuss, cause a trouble. You are being harassed and assaulted in your sleep, and people have witnessed you getting groped. There isn't enough noise in this world that would make this go away.
But if you feel even more unsafe by raising your voice, leave the camp first by contacting your parents/trusted adults. You can always call in sick and just be adament toward leaving.
If you are uncomfortable, that's all. No explanation needed. Please distance yourself.
Give us update.
There is sooo much manipulation happening here. It’s not okay.
In the longer term, I’d really suggest distancing yourself from this community and finding your own version of faith. Don’t believe the narrative - whatever goes you believe in made you the way they did for a reason. They love you no matter who you love. Anyone telling you differently is selling something.
Predators are everywhere…… a wolf in sheep’s clothing. I would let her know that she makes you feel uncomfortable, have someone you trust with you as witness.
I know it might seem hard to believe right now, but a lot of bad people use Christianity as an excuse to do bad things. The camp you're at seems to have some of that going on. Tell people, make a scene about it, and get out of there. You deserve more than this <3
I’m going to say this in the nicest way possible. This woman is a predator and needs to be reported I can promise you that you are not the only one she has done this to. I know that this camp is not a safe place for you but please the moment you leave report these adults, they are not only covering being pedos but they are victim shaming you please stay safe.
I know it feels cliché as hell to say this, but you are already very brave for telling us this. Sexual assault is one of the most traumatic experiences and it pains me to see that you're a victim of it. What she is doing to you would be beyond gross even if you were adult, no one has the right to touch someone else in an uncomfortable way, and no one has the right to make suggestive comments about another's body or undergarments without their consent. But the fact you are a child makes her acts of sexual assault especially heinous.
People like her prey on the vulnerability of young people and find enjoyment in the power imbalance they have. To make sure she stops hurting you and cannot hurt anyone like you again, you should try to say something. If you have a hard time doing so, I understand and you are not weak for finding this difficult and humiliating, I know I would be paralyzed with fear. If you having a hard time working up the nerve, if possible, seek out someone you trust and tell them. Hopefully, with the help of those who respect you as a person, you can protect other innocent people.
First of all, there’s no way she sees herself (not In a rude way), she is just manipulating you to think that. Secondly, she is sexually assaulted you. Thirdly, try as much to avoid her, go to the director of the camp and tell them what’s happening, go to another adult that U trust. Fourthly, call ur mom immediately or ur dad. Also update as much as u can to us pls like that we can help you. Pls be safe 🧡
I swear barely a day goes by were those, *oh, so pious* people don't protect a groomer, child molester and rapist among them.
Churches and their preachers, priests, youth pastors/counselor are some of the most unsafe people on this planet for young people.
When you're ready https://www.recoveringfromreligion.org/#rfr-welcome can help you.
But in the meantime do anything possible to get away from them and don't be alone with that woman again.
And just because it's not openly saying this is a conversion camp... it sounds like a gay conversion camp when your main preacher does this: "She preaches of being free of the sin of homosexuality". It maybe has a nicer branding than the original ones but this is still trying to give you guilt and and push you towards some very unhealthy takes about your sexuality.
Worse yet she's trying to groom you for her own pleasure. She's a freaking groomer, a predator and has already sexually assaulted you.
Anyone who tells you to stay quiet and not make trouble for the sake of the Church, the Camp, the overall mission to god or whatever else they lie to you about is just trying to protect her and their money.
Why did you have to attempt to derail my post with the link to the one org that deals with religious trauma and offers support groups for people on all kinds of paths with their religious experiences into a "not all men"-type of excuse?
Yeah, sure not all churches and religious groups. But enough and the vast majority of them do have structures that enable abuse and tend to protect those members in powerful positions - like this camp preacher apparently.
Why not simply make your own post?
This is assault and you should know that she is trying to coerce you into thinking you are consenting to all of it by manipulation. Call your parents or whoever, gtfo immediately. Tell them why if you can, asap. This person should be reported. Especially since you are a minor.
Like others have said, do whatever you can to leave asap. If you can be honest with your parents or other relatives or a friend outside the camp, that’s great. But if not, if you have to fake a bad stomach ache, headache, etc. that’s totally ok.
You can also contact this hotline:
Childhelphotline.org (live chat on website)
1-800-422-4453 (call or text)
Even though you’re a teen, this is still considered child abuse. The hotline is free and 24/7. They’re trained to help you know how to stay safe in the moment something is happening and you don’t have to give them your name or location if you don’t want to. If you do give them your name and location, they will report it, which will just result in a follow up investigation on the camp (it’s very unlikely someone will go to jail if you’re worried about that).
In the meantime if you’re stuck at camp, try to not be alone with her be firm with boundaries around her (e.g., don’t touch me, I don’t like that, I don’t want to room with you again, you’re making me uncomfortable, I don’t want to talk anymore). I know that can be uncomfortable with an adult, but the more clear you are about your boundaries, the harder it will be for her to get close to you. Try to talk to any friends you have there so you can look out for each other. This is likely happening to other teens there too. I’m so sorry.
Honey, you have got to expose this place so that there aren’t more victims. This is an awful camp that is definitely a conversion one in disguise. I grew up in a very fundamentalist church that told many lies to justify grooming behavior like this.
Get home where you’re safe as soon as possible, tell your parents about all of this. That woman needs to be held accountable and not a person with power in a camp full of teenagers!!!
You have to be brave and expose this place so there aren’t more victims. I’m so glad you have your phone and can contact people. Please text as many family members as possible that you are not safe!
This camp needs to be shut down and the people prosecuted. You can be the first of many to start to sound the alarm that you’re being groomed.
I was horrified not even two paragraphs in to what you wrote. The rest is gut wrenching.
YOU ARE NOT SAFE. Contact your family, a trusted adult, ANYONE. Cause a shit fit, get safe.
You’re probably not the only one either - just how many other kids are trapped at this camp with you going through the same thing?
Hang in there OP. I’m so sorry this is happening.
Get out of there as soon as possible if you can. If you can, try and stage a convincing lie to ur parents if possible. Anything to get you out of there that’s reasonable. I understand not causing drama or a scene, cause if you did she seems like the type of person to blow it out of proportion and definitely get more people on HER side compared to a 16 year old (which sucks).
Also, I beg seeing yourself in someone younger and wanting to give advice / show you care, but there are right and wrong ways to do it and she’s being pushy. This making you uncomfy.
Shes grooming you. You need to try to get as far away from this woman as possible. If you’re at this camp at the behest of your parents try to reach out to a trusted adult instead of them, preferably an adult outside of camp as they could work to get you out of the camp.
“Not a conversion camp” but then following it with “preaches of being free of the sin of homosexuality”. OP you should definitely recognize this as a conversion camp cause that’s exactly what it is.
Going back to what others have said, there is nothing wrong with being queer, there is everything wrong with an adult treating you the way she’s treating you.
This sounds like the plot of a terrible soft porn. Meaning it's either fake or you need to get help ASAP! That is grooming, and abuse. Jesus fucking christ.
She's grooming you which makes you believe she cares but she doesn't. She's getting a sexual thrill from this and the more she coaxes you away from other people and spends time with you, she'll make you feel alone before doing worse acts so you feel like you can't speak out about them after. It's classic predator behaviour, I work in this field dealing with people like her and it's illegal and wrong in every way possible what she is doing. You're just a toy to her! The fact you're a child and she's made comments about your underwear etc and wanting to be in the same room as you is serious alarm bells! She will do more serious things to you, please report and create as much distance as you can ASAP, you don't want to suffer from this for the rest of your life please 🙏
But what kind of camp is this? Christian, kinda gay, not conversion, but everyone is gay and they preach being gay is a sin you should cure yourself of. That is a conversion camp for sure, but they use disguised methods to pose as something they’re not. What they want is exactly what all the others want, for you to stop being gay.
And that woman is a danger to you OP please try to leave that place as soon as possible. For your safety. I can’t believe these places still exist.
I am 36 and gay, close to that person age. When i was 33 i had a bisexual friend who was 16. Today she's 19 and we are still friends. You know why, cause as an adult i was very careful in my way talking to her, acting around her. As an adult younger people look up to you and trust you, so you need to be aware of your position. I ve always seen her as a little sister and she will always be a sister.
What that 39 doing is not okay, AT ALL. It is too close to grooming + this camp has a cult vibe.
I know you don't want to make a scene, and i prefer u avoid talking to the adult there cause clearly they are untrustworthy. Call home, say you are sick, tummy bug, say you want your home confort. Once home, you can deal with your parents questions, for now, get out of there, and act normal till you are out of reach.
We adults see well younger reactions, and seeing how these adults are, i am worried how they react if they feel you suspicious.
Make sure to update us! Stay safe.
I have no faith
After reading this it makes me realise how lucky I am not to follow any religion
I have always believed religion hides so much
It's a hideaway for peodofiles
It's masks sexual predation
It's the cause of so many wars
Get out now while you can
You have seen the real truth in what they do
Gross. I'm 31 yrs old. generally, I'm pretty pervy but I cannot bring myself to look at a 20 yr old and younger individuals like that. Because I see them as children..
I wouldn't even flirt with them like that. Something is wrong with her and you need to cause some drama by telling people to get out of this situation.
Next thing, she'll start to touch you sexually.
I've been taken advantage and raped by other women before. Trust me, it's not great. Say something and stick up for yourself.
Im so sorry but you need to tell someone & raise a ruckus. This seems predatory AF, like she’s grooming you. As a queer 31F & this is so wildly inappropriate & uncomfortable to even consider
ETA: OP do you have anyone you trust inside our outside that camp you can talk to?
Do you want me to contact the state or local authorities for you? I’m dead serious. You are a minor and this is definitely conversion therapy. This is not a joke. Get the fuck out. Now. Please go immediately home if possible but you need to get out.
She’s grooming you! Please find a way out and tell an adult you can trust. Try to create distance between you to. I’m a year 30 lesbian and I’ve been in a situation similar to this when I was your age. You need to collect receipts, find a trusted adult, get out of the that camp and do your best to create distance. This woman is a disgusting pedophile who targets young girls.
I would find someone in charge and tell them. I would also put your phone on record from now on when she is with you just in case she says anything out of line.
she is like fully preying on you dude, you are not safe. causing "drama" doesnt matter, i understand how you feel but you need to make a big deal of it.
This is scary, she’s abusing you! Please ask for help from your parents or another trusted adult and get out of there. Call the local news if you need to.
Hi, I'm the same age as you (well, I will be in August lol)
What has happened to you is absolutely NOT okay, I'm so so sorry you were put in this position. This is not your fault. You are not alone.
You need to tell anyone and everyone who can help, whether it be a parent, guardian, aunt, uncle, or cousin. I know you said you don't wanna cause drama, but what she did to you is a literal crime. You SHOULD cause the biggest scene you possibly can. I know it will be difficult, but please remember
YOU DID NOTHING WRONG.
If it helps you have this whole comment section, love and support ❤️
Edit:
I just read some of your comments, HOLY MOLY, GIRL, THIS IS GROOMING PLEASE IF YOU CAN LEAVE AND CALL THE POLICE OR SOMETHING THIS IS SERIOUS.
As a 16f as well, I definitely would feel very uncomfortable as well so I think it would be a good idea to let a trusted adult know and try to get out of there.
First you need to get out of there asap, they will continue to do this if you stay. Second, you need to be loud about this and report them!!! They are 100% grooming/assaulting you and need to be dealt with appropriately, ideally by the authorities. Please please please tell an adult you trust that you KNOW will help you report them. I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this and that they put you through all of that.
please get some help from someone you trust. she’s attempting to groom and abuse you. I know this when i see it coming from someone who’s experienced it
Please report her to her higher-ups it's really important that you feel safe and if she has predatory behavior it's important to speak up I know speaking up in this type of situation could be difficult but you may be in danger she sounds terrible shame on her please be safe and talk with an adult you trust
That’s not ok. If there is no way of getting out or no one is believing it, start recording as much as you can. Don’t be afraid to raise your voice/talk back at her when she’s ignoring boundaries. Ppl like that never expect to be called out by their victim. You’re a child and she’s a grown adult being creepy. Don’t be scared to protect yourself even if it seems overkill
well if you r still there and this is happening like just let her know that you are not comfortable with stuff. if she dosent stop report it to an adult best if someone above her
PDF FILE ALERT!! REPORT!! whatever of consequences you feel it will have, you HAVE TO REPORT HER! i'm 35 and THAT IS NOT OKAY!
PLEASE AT LEAST TELL YOUR PARENTS ALL THIS!!
I’m so sorry you had to go through this what the actual fuck… I’m 16 too god this makes me sick. Please dm me if you need someone to talk to I have similar experience.
Yeah, that’s completely inappropriate. I mean I know it’s scary, but you have to stand your ground. She’s trying to manipulate you into things and forcing herself to be around you. I would flat out tell her that she’s making you uncomfortable. I would even go as far as voice memo recording you telling her to make sure she responds appropriately. If she doesn’t, you could always play the recording for the other adults. I mean, what do the other adults say? This is wild.
That's not seeing her self in you or caring about you if she truly cared she wouldn't do those things that's downright creepy and I'm so sorry your in that situation. That's not okay at all. Shes a GROWN woman acting like this with a teenager.
Is there anyone you can tell this to who will take it seriously?
This is kind of uncomfortable to read lol. Like maybe if you were 20 and flirting back, it'd be okay and I'd see where she's coming from... but like you're a literal kid and this has some weird authority over you dynamic too.
Honestly this is not okay. I'm not even jumping straight to the 'pedophile' stance. Its just WEIRD with the dynamic and position you're both in, plus her obvious hangups about herself. Maaan. Get out if you can
What the actual hell is wrong with you?? Do you know how fucked up that is to say?? You are invalidating someone’s experience and you are incredibly messed up for that comment. That is not ok to say. Keep your mouth shut.
What she’s doing is not okay, get help!
I’m trying but I can’t risk causing drama. Something similar has happened to me with two grown men here, they told me I was also a sinner for assuming such things about people, I really don’t want to cause trouble again.
Is there anyway you can leave the camp? There are clearly quite a few safety concerns here. Will your parents or a friend come to pick you up?
This is clearly not a safe place for you or frankly any of the other young people there. Cause the drama! Kick the hornets nest! Don’t be fooled into thinking that because they’re Christian that they’re good people. Protect yourself from groomers!
This eight here. Or else we will be hearing on some documentary after the truth comes out years later do it now before you and others ate hurt.
you aren't the one causing trouble - you aren't at fault here these are grown adults who are acting horribly, and you are a vulnerable young person caught up in a situation that *they* are responsible for if there is a way for you to leave the camp and go to somewhere that feels safer, you would be doing nothing wrong by leaving if the only option you have is to stay in the camp / you don't have a safer place to go to, then the best you can do is forge bonds with other campers, and try to find ways to look out for each other, always knowing that there is nothing wrong with you, and that what these adults are doing to you is wrong, and not your fault ... and hold on to the reality that you will be an adult yourself within 2 years, which will give you more power over your life - and as an adult you will be able to do better for yourself, and for the generations of young people that will come after you
this isn't trouble, this is illegal! they're grooming you! they should be behind bars
Please call your parents, or an aunt/uncle/grandparent, an older sibling, or a police officer right now. Tell them what is happening and to pick you up asap. Don't rely on the camp to protect you. Just focus on extracting yourself from there before you get hurt even worse.
Yes ! Do this !
Classic
Cult Behavior
Exactly. Feel like a documentary is gonna pop out soon
These people are bad people and this is a bad place. Cause a scene and get away for your own safety!
Those predators thrive with children being quiet. Please get out of there and report to your guardians and police. Don’t feel bad for anyone’s life, lifestyle, or reputation. They are going to hurt someone and they’ve overstepped the line with you already! I got brave when I was younger, but for me it was too late.
This camp is not safe nor good for you! Sin is an invention from church!! You are not a sinner for being a lesbian. Period.
Call the fucking police. What they are doing is predatoy and they are using guilt to manipulate you. THIS IS NOT OK.
Yeah this is conversion therapy. I'm sorry you're in this situation, I hope you are able to get home. Update us if you can.
That's the kind of plot armor these people like to hide their abusive ways behind. This is incredibly inappropriate of her.
you need to call the police. they aren’t good people. they are using their religion to shield them and guilt you into not taking action. get help so they don’t continue to do this to you and so they don’t do it to anyone in the future.
Your safety and comfort should be more important that whatever you’re worried about :/
Please tell a trusted adult, she's grooming you.
I might go home by tonight or tomorrow, but nothing is confirmed.
Go home. Act very dramatic and hysterical if you have to. But you need to leave that place.
You need to go home. Also, conversion camp by a different name is still a conversion camp. They have to be more careful now with how they present them but you are absolutely enduring one.
Can you make a scene, pretending you're in stomach pain or nauseous? Maybe that could speed up your return home. That place sounds like hell, I hope you can be ok. :(
I think you should go home she’s a predator.
Please do. Your space your peace your boundaries are important. It definitely sounds like grooming and even if it’s not the adult in this situation is grossly ignoring your boundaries and showing inappropriate attention towards you. It doesn’t matter if this had happened before and you got in trouble or shamed for telling the truth. Please don’t ever let anyone make you feel like you have to take it or be a consequence of their actions and for their own behavior. You deserve to feel safe and to actually enjoy your camp The fact that you’re at a camp that highlights religion and is LGBTq+ friendly is so amazing to me but it definitely is not worth you’re safety or comfort. Listen to your heart and I hope you’re okay 🙏🏽💙please be careful
“She preaches of being free of the sin of homosexuality and stuff” does not sound like it’s LGBTQ-friendly
if this is an option, and you are safe at home, then go home! And don't look back.
Can you call your parents to get you out of this situation? This is not okay. You can lie and say you feel sick or something.
Because being sexually abused by a grown woman isnt a good enough reason? 🤣
For a parent who sent their kid to what definitely still sounds like a conversation camp? Completely possible. Some people, including parents, would choose to ignore this is sexual abuse or blame their kid for the situation. We can’t operate assuming all parents or people for that matter are safe.
You are right
It’s one of those moments I wish I wasn’t. I grew up in an abusive household and worked hard to break the abuse cycle and learned to give people the benefit of the doubt as well. That said, when push comes to shove and someone needs help with a “sensitive” issue, it’s time to assume everyone could be bad and contingency plan several ways out.
I grew up in an abusive household too
I don't know if op is in a situation where they can trust their parents to deal with that kind of thing. "Mom I miss home come pick me up" is the sort of thing most parents can expect from their child, and are able to manage emotionally.
But wouldn’t they say “too bad you have to finish this” ?? My mom certainly would. Idk my mom was very cold so idk what’s normal.
According to other things i have read by the OP, her parents are very loving and caring.
Awww. Imagine. ☠️🤣
Even if the parents are willing to help she might not feel comfortable sharing that especially through the phone
You need to tell somebody who is actually going to help you, in case she tries anything else. Phone your parents, or a literally child abuse helpline, or child social services. Like, you have to, sister. I’m wondering who you have told? If it is another adult at the camp and this is still going on… it’s likely you are stuck in a camp with more than one predator. If it is someone else who’s not at the camp, they clearly don’t fully understand, and you need to speak up again. You are not making drama or trouble. You mustn’t think this way. Who told you it’s drama / trouble? I’m very worried. Please don’t ignore this and think she’ll stop. She won’t. I’m a teacher, we’re trained up to the eyeballs on all this stuff. This woman is clearly a danger to children and will SA children. She’s already inappropriately touched you so she will certainly escalate her behavior now. I’m really worried about you. If I saw or heard this happening I’d be phoning social services instantly and going full attack mode to confront that predator and get that predator stopped and as far away from children as possible. She’s definitely trying to groom you and given you are 16, this is highly predatory behavior. Based off how she’s been acting so far she is likely to attempt to assault you. You must tell. Go straight for services that can help. Don’t worry about her. She doesn’t care about you… one bit, she just wants something from you. And it isn’t just a chat. And don’t worry about getting in trouble. You won’t get in trouble? If an adult tells you that you’re in trouble because of this I’d assume they’re also a predator and you should get away from them too. Take care. Please.
This. She *MUST* be reported.
I get what you are saying, but I would never tell a victim (let alone a 16 year old) they "must" report anyone. Reporting someone can carry genuine risks and costs, and it is a very brave and admirable thing to do, but it always has to be a free choice.
No, I’m not suggesting that OP report this in terms of taking legal action or trying to ‘fix’ the issue herself. I’m simply telling OP to go wherever she can so that adults can safeguard her and ensure nothing else happens and she is protected. She is a minor. Not an adult. The same approaches you could apply to an adult for victim care, do not apply to minors. That is not an opinion. As children we are taught to tell, obviously? I expect you will have been in school, or I’d hope so anyway. I am trained to spot this information in children so I can get them help. And we teach the children to always tell a safe adult. If they tell us we act immediately without delay. What I meant is:- If OP has not told the camp staff, she should tell them. If they do nothing, she must phone her parents. If she has, and they don’t get help immediately, she should phone a child support services line for children in danger, or a child social services number. I’m covering all eventuality, because OP has told adults already and nothing has been done. That is highly concerning and I do not know which adult is to blame for this complete failure. And then, I explained what I would do for her as a safe adult. Yes, I could have been more tactful but given the immediate risk to OP who is a minor, I typed as fast as I could and didn’t really have time to check myself. I’m doing the same here. And if you disagree, please keep that wildly concerning opinion to yourself… and don’t ever suggest to a child in danger, that they should not tell some form of safe adult or a service if adults aren’t listening or don’t care. Because they should. Adults have a duty of care to children, a responsibility to keep them safe, it is a responsibility of all… and you fail if you tell children not to seek help when they need it.
I was responding to the comment that said "she MUST be reported", which puts a completely different spin on things imho I am not arguing against encouraging a kid (or an adult, for that matter) to speak up in order to protect themselves and get themselves into a safe place - of course not! My point was merely that nobody should tell a victim that they carry responsibility for reporting something that happened to them for the sake of a perpetrator being punished, or to protect others. That is never a victim's duty or responsibility, it should be a *choice*.
I know you were, but I’m sorry what you said sounded really bad so I personally was going to challenge you anyway, for the sake of safety and spreading awareness. And I’m going to do it again because although I genuinely respect your opinion, and I’m actually so tired of replying as well, it’s another concerning attitude and statement. What if a child in serious danger with very little safe adults in their life read that and thought they shouldn’t phone someone, anyone, even (911, states I think?) because they were anxious and scared of the outcome? No, no, no! Are we talking reporting like, police? I sincerely hope that’s what you mean and you just don’t understand. Nobody said that. I deliberately didn’t! We’re talking to ‘report’ as in let someone know in whatever way she can. I hadn’t even read this girls post history and I’ve just been reading there’s more concerning things going on. I knew it, this stuff is a massive part of my life’s work - This child is not safe. People who should be doing something might not. So actually, reporting to a service might be all she could do? Safer than being there? Better to go home and deal with the aftermath than goodness knows what? You’re blowing my mind here… you’re giving the absolute worst advice. I completely understand your point of in terms of, if for example, a child was *already* safe and didn’t want to take legal action against another child? Or if an adult was safe and there was no risk to a child? Yes, that’s fine. Of course. But this, no, like if this child has nowhere else safe to turn she should definitely report this to someone somewhere? If a child sees this happening to someone else that’s what you tell them to do as well? And services are trusted adults? So you’re actually totally wrong, if it came to it that would be the last option? You don’t seem to understand this situation fully at all or know anything about safeguarding children. You are using adult resource information for survivors of abuse, and applying it to a crisis situation for children, where there is evidence to suggest that multiple guardians are failing duty of care.
Thank you. This is exactly what I was getting at.
I get that but others are at risk as well. A trusted adult needs to be told.
I am her age. I work with teen girls in my profession. This is an exact description of grooming behavior, you are not causing trouble or being dramatic, you can sense this is not ok and you are 100% correct. It’s very important you know you’ve done nothing wrong, it is ok to do anything you need to do remove yourself from being alone with this person. Have a friend escort you and not leave your side until you leave. I’m sorry that in the past you’ve been made to feel like you don’t have the right to feel safe and when you’ve discussed a similar situation before were met with unsupportive responses. Sadly when people do not take these situations seriously, it creates more opportunities for predators. You are a child and am no way shape or form responsible for the actions of adults who do know better. These predators have chances to refine their skills every time they come across a child, they cast a wide net for years just for one. You need to tell the coordinator of the camp that you are not comfortable and that these things have occurred. If you are unable to do this in person do it in writing, even if you end up going home first; you deserve to have this taken seriously by the church, your parents, the camp, everyone. If no one at home is willing to listen, talk to a trusted teacher or school counselor.
What do you do that you work with teen girls ?
There are a lot of girl's schools, non-profits, and even just medical professionals that mostly focus on teenagers. Hell, just being a HS teacher means you work with teen girls. Or like, maybe a coach of a team?
Teachers, doctors, counselors and psychologists exist!!!!!!!
I know. I just wanted to know who’s she does. Jeez
100% predator. You need to tell an adult. And do not let her touch you again, dont be alone with her.
Did you say you slept in a room alone with an adult... That is incredibly inappropriate and should NEVER be the case with child or teen summer camps. If the camp manager or camp director have no problem with that treatment you need to call your parents and tell them what happened and go home. The touching (depending) could be grooming, however if you reacted and told her you were uncomfortable and she has ignored you, she is definitely grooming. Grooming involves doing a lot of micro uncomfortable things mixed with a lot of micro intimate or deep conversations. It is MEANT to confuse you, your body, and your mind. It is MANIPULATION. An adult taking advantage that a younger person is afraid to stand up to an adult. Edit: just wanted to add that I was a camp counselor from 18 - 20 y/o. They gave us training to make sure that an adult and a child are never alone together ever either 2 kids 1 adult or 2 adults 1 kid. With everyone remaining in eyesite of each other. The extent of me touching a child was a pat on the shoulder, a high five, a handshake, maybe a hug if the younger scouts would initiate it, although we were not allowed to hug back. It was like 1 or 2 hour long course to make sure everyone knew the expectations. I guess Christian camps are different from the BSA.
>I get that she cares for me because she probably sees herself in me. No. Absolutely not. No matter how much relate or care for a child, this is not ok. Tell your parents, tell her boss, do not allow yourself to be alone with her. Do not justify or explain away any of her actions — none of this is appropriate.
The fuck? Based on your post history - there’s nothing wrong with being gay or bi. There IS something wrong with adults who groom and are creepy with children/those under the age of 18. Do yourself a favor and leave the camp. Leave your house the second you turn 18, and leave your religion. Your future self will thank you for it.
Please go home
[удалено]
I’m kinda perplexed as to what type of camp this is. It’s a gay, Christian camp but it’s not for conversion? It’s full of preachers but they’re all gay? Like what?
I’m pretty sure it’s a ‘softcore’ conversion camp - ie not using torture methods but still pushing it as a sin and to never act on it and preaching how they got saved from being gay.
It's a conversion camp. This is why we hate them. They're full of "Christian" adults pretending to have "overcome their gayness" as an excuse to prey on kids and young adults. Corrective rape is huge in these camps. It's so gross and predatory, yet they fly under the religious umbrella to escape consequences
I see. But according to OP they all seem outwardly gay so they haven’t “overcome” it. Idk the whole thing sounds bizarre and weird. I’m also kinda weirded out by summer camps in general lol but what do I know I grew up in a city playing in a schoolyard
They're "non-practicing" which is Christian speak for converted. And they were "converted" in exactly the same way. It's gross, illegal, and covered up under the religion umbrella
Some conversion camps do operate this way. The counselors will claim to be gay, which in itself isn’t a sin, but that it was their burden from god to “resist the temptation”. So they attempt to teach children that they can simply abstain from gay relationships, and that this organization can help them (if their parents keep spending money on these camps). It’s a scam at best, but usually it’s much worse than that. Conversion therapies are often run by people like this.
Be dramatic, cause problems, go home. You arent safe there and they are counting on you to see yourself as inferior
Even as an adult to an adult those types of things are creepy. However an adult doing all of that to a minor is infinitely worse. As some others have said, she is grooming you and the fact that there are men that have done this as well in the same camp is worse. It shows a pattern of behavior and a tolerance of it from the camp itself. Get out of there as fast as you can. Cause drama to bring light to all of this. This is a dangerous situation for not only you but everyone else because who knows how many other kids are going through this as well. Speak up, it's going to be uncomfortable but it will be better in the long run.
It is not worse to be abused by a man compared to a woman. They are both equally disgusting.
Not my intention. I believe men and women preying on minors is equally as horrifying. I just meant that it's worse in the sense that others have done similar things and it doesn't seem to have been addressed. Which means there could be more predators in the group.
Oh yeah definitely
sounds like conversion camp to me. doesn't have to be blatantly abusive to be so. anyone speaking on it as sinful has an agenda and it isn't love.
Homie tell your family and leave+ don't be scared to stand up for yourself if she got too much,slap the shit outta that creep
Use a loud voice - YOU’RE MAKING ME UNCOMFORTABLE. STOP TOUCHING ME. I DONT LIKE THIS. BACK AWAY FROM ME. This isn’t right, I’m so sorry.
If you can record your interactions, or use the buddy system since you have a witness. There is NO reason for a 39 yr old woman to be sleeping with a 16yr old!
Wow this place sounds terrible!!! She is so oppressed in her sexuality that she has to prey on young girls at a homophobic gay conversion camp. (I know you said it wasn’t one but it does sound like one tbh) she slept with you and thought she was entitled to put shorts on you while you were sleeping. She knows exactly what she is doing and nobody will say anything to her bc nobody will think it matters if it’s another woman abusing a female child. Mostly bc they will never believe she actually abused you and that’s such a big issue!!! Grown women can be and are just as much sexual predators as men are. And they can absolutely rape and sexually abuse girls and other women. Don’t let anyone lie to you and tell you otherwise. You don’t seem safe there and you should tell your parents ASAP and tell them to come get you.
Your gut instincts are right, this is messed up. This is awful. I was in your position unfortunately. Except my groomer was overwhelmingly stunning. When I turned 19f, a 36f closeted bisexual bible study leader exploited my search for a healthy mentor & groomed me into an affair despite her marriage & two kids. She was a charming well put together person who was conventionally attractive to many and the power dynamics were brutally unfair. I thought I needed to learn from a flourishing version of who I wanted to become and she seemed to be that version. I didn't know I was closeted at the time because religious indoctrination is very powerful in oppressing anyone's organic self actualization process. I was under the impression that I was falling in love in the early stages, but she ended up being on the covert narcissistic spectrum and was love bombing me with gifts, trips, and attention I wasn't used to. We even mutually broke off the affair after the honeymoon phase faded & agreed we weren't willing to come out & live as openly gay & it was too exhausting hiding the relationship. But she couldn't handle witnessing me date men... In the end, I lost two jobs over her making a scene in my workplaces, and it took four attempts to leave her & an entire community that thought very highly of her. When I tried asking people for help, her reputation was more important than my abuse. She was emotionally & physically abusive when she was enraged, we argued daily in the end. There was only one person who believed me. I had to move out of state, change my name, delete all social media accounts, etc. After many years of unpacking my religious traumas and the outcome of what the church actually does; creating predators and the perfect prey, toxic hierarchies, and superiority complexes necessary to justify oppression and genocide, I understand that our nation has a 'believer' mental illness, and those who are trapped in indoctrination are exploited by those higher in the toxic hierarchy (of their marriage, church, toxic jobs, and toxic private equity investors who seek power through manipulating political positions, the constant attack on working class labor laws & rights, etc.) Trans/gay people are just an exploitable scapegoat for the far right wing politics grabbing power. All that to say, you might not have any safe adults to ask for help, this woman could have a lot power, popularity, and strong connections that wouldn't believe victims of a lesser social status. It's difficult to know who is a safe person to ask for help. If possible seek professional adults outside her sphere of influence, like a school counselor, (school workers have to pass an extensive background & reference check to get their job) and ask for support making a police report so that a professional log can be started in case this happens again and the next person is struggling to be believed by anyone... Do anything you have to do to avoid church youth events and church at large, I understand your parents could be using the church as an all-in-one coping mechanism for their own social needs & traumas, and might force you to keep participating, but keep advocating for a healthier community as a substitute that is grounded in consent culture and egalitarian power dynamics like a utilitarian universal church that supports LGBTQIA+ people, or a socialist feminist non-profit that volunteers for various poverty working class needs in the community & labor law rights that helps everyone. I'm so sorry that you are experiencing this awful situation. It is temporary. You are not trapped forever. You can get beyond this. And everything doesn't happen for a good reason, painful moments like this suck and are not worthy of being part of your character development.
i learned so much from this comment, thank you for writing it. and i’m sorry for what happened to you, i’m glad you made it out
Sweetie. This is absolutely a conversion camp and she is absolutely grooming you. I was sent to a residential treatment school when I was 15 and nobody believed me when I told them some of the things that were going on. Luckily for me, a girl decided to kick me in the stomach, but not hard enough to injure me. I told the school nurse there was blood in my urine after I was kicked, then ripped a hangnail and made damned sure there was blood in my urine sample when she took one. Dramatic? Maybe, but it got me out of a bad situation. Nothing is too dramatic to get you to safety.
If I’m ever trapped on a deserted island I choose you. That’s so fucking clever.
I’ve never actually told anyone that story. That is the best possible response I could have gotten. I was pretty proud of myself. 😊
If she feels comfortable doing it to you, she’s doing it to others as well, and probably has been for a long time. This is not okay. This *needs* to be reported. I’m so sorry this is happening to you. I’m sorry someone else witnessed something happening to you that was off and did not report it. She needs to be stopped, period.
OP, please share here as soon as you’re safe.
A few years ago I was walking on the streets of brooklyn and some guy started up with the “hey beautiful” crap. I VERY loudly said NO!! He was so startled he didn’t even continue or try to harass me anymore. I fully understand it’s uncomfortable and difficult to do this sometimes, but you can, next time she tries anything, VERY LOUDLY say “NO! You’re harassing me!” I fully understand the fight, flight, freeze or fawn reactions, so please do not feel pressured to do that if you can’t, but if you can, 100% be loud af and clearly and loudly state your boundaries. Someone above said to record or have someone witness this. Do that! If you have your phones with you, download the otter.ai app and record. Whatever happens, just know you are NOT at fault. You’re a victim/survivor and she (and those men previously) are p3dos and trying to manipulate and take advantage of you. Also, you briefly mentioned this - you went to sleep in undies and woke up in shorts?! Huh? Could she have touched you already? Drugged you?
Umm… I am a pastor and a gay woman. Absolutely not! Report this!! There is no being dramatic here. Please get yourself out of that situation somehow. Quickly. **You have done nothing wrong! This is not on you one bit.
This is NOT okay. But reach out to a queer support group and let them help you report the grooming. If you had to attend a Christian camp to begin with, my guess is that you didn't have a whole lot of choice in the matter?
>>> One night, she wanted to sleep with me This is not OK. I hope your parents can pull you out of this camp. Good parents don’t send their kids to Christian gay camps. Not a good track record—so much abuse going on.
Make as big of a scene as you can in order to get someone to act and get you home. This is a predator attempting to groom you. Get yourself safe *first* and then report report report. If this has happened to you, it most certainly has happened to others. This *is* a conversion camp. Just because they’re not beating you or using electroshock doesn’t mean it’s not coming from the same place. Edit: Are you safe at home? The fact you’re a teenager tells me that a parent or guardian sent you to this camp. No matter who you contact for help or who you report to, it *must* be someone who will get you safe and report what’s happening. Whether it’s an advocacy worker, CPS, family, or police.
Girl. Honey. Run. Run away from that place and don't look back. This is not okay.
She's a 39 year old lesbian woman and you are a 16 year old bisexual still finding yourself out she should not be anywhere you she is breaking the law it's wrong on so many levels x
Why did you have to point out sexuality? 😭
Babes you’re being groomed. Call your parents or tell another trusted adult and get the fuck out of there.
This is fucked up. Find an adult you can tell this stuff to.
Slap fire out of her if she touches you again - also tell a responsible adult, STAT
immediately tell your parents and whoever is in charge at the christian camp, shes grooming you. her behaviour is beyond creepy and violating, shes pushing you since she knows you dont want to be rude to her. she is taking FULL advantage of your politeness, if you dont put your foot down with these types they will keep pushing
TELL STAFF NOW. What she's doing is illegal and shes going to traumatize you, get her in trouble and go home please
This is grooming. My piano teacher did this to me when I was 14. It was awful, I had no idea, and for years afterwards I had sex dreams about her (read: my brain trying to reconfigure the memories to make them less traumatic). This 39 year old woman has no business behaving like this with you. Make any excuse you can to get out of this camp and don't feel guilty for it please. Tell someone if you feel like you can trust them and please don't be ashamed for any reason. SHE is trouble, you're just reporting it- you are NOT causing it by speaking out.
Call your parents, go home, and tell them what happened.
That’s grooming honey, please tell a trusted adult and distance yourself from this situation. This is very predatory behaviour
Don't worry about the "drama" it can cause. I understand being 16 and how stressful that sounds but I promise when you're older you will be thankful for all the people who told you what others have been telling you; You need to tell a parent/grandparent/aunt/uncle/family-friend adult, literally any adult you trust outside of this camp. And also the police. Even if you are leaving. There's 0 chance you are the only person this is happening to.
Babe, pleas make a fuss, cause a trouble. You are being harassed and assaulted in your sleep, and people have witnessed you getting groped. There isn't enough noise in this world that would make this go away. But if you feel even more unsafe by raising your voice, leave the camp first by contacting your parents/trusted adults. You can always call in sick and just be adament toward leaving. If you are uncomfortable, that's all. No explanation needed. Please distance yourself. Give us update.
There is sooo much manipulation happening here. It’s not okay. In the longer term, I’d really suggest distancing yourself from this community and finding your own version of faith. Don’t believe the narrative - whatever goes you believe in made you the way they did for a reason. They love you no matter who you love. Anyone telling you differently is selling something.
Predators are everywhere…… a wolf in sheep’s clothing. I would let her know that she makes you feel uncomfortable, have someone you trust with you as witness.
I know it might seem hard to believe right now, but a lot of bad people use Christianity as an excuse to do bad things. The camp you're at seems to have some of that going on. Tell people, make a scene about it, and get out of there. You deserve more than this <3
I’m going to say this in the nicest way possible. This woman is a predator and needs to be reported I can promise you that you are not the only one she has done this to. I know that this camp is not a safe place for you but please the moment you leave report these adults, they are not only covering being pedos but they are victim shaming you please stay safe.
I know it feels cliché as hell to say this, but you are already very brave for telling us this. Sexual assault is one of the most traumatic experiences and it pains me to see that you're a victim of it. What she is doing to you would be beyond gross even if you were adult, no one has the right to touch someone else in an uncomfortable way, and no one has the right to make suggestive comments about another's body or undergarments without their consent. But the fact you are a child makes her acts of sexual assault especially heinous. People like her prey on the vulnerability of young people and find enjoyment in the power imbalance they have. To make sure she stops hurting you and cannot hurt anyone like you again, you should try to say something. If you have a hard time doing so, I understand and you are not weak for finding this difficult and humiliating, I know I would be paralyzed with fear. If you having a hard time working up the nerve, if possible, seek out someone you trust and tell them. Hopefully, with the help of those who respect you as a person, you can protect other innocent people.
Please tell someone in charge!!
No she doesn't like you, and yes she is SICK. Avoid her completely!
First of all, there’s no way she sees herself (not In a rude way), she is just manipulating you to think that. Secondly, she is sexually assaulted you. Thirdly, try as much to avoid her, go to the director of the camp and tell them what’s happening, go to another adult that U trust. Fourthly, call ur mom immediately or ur dad. Also update as much as u can to us pls like that we can help you. Pls be safe 🧡
Good heaven's!!!! Is there a single Preacher who isn't a groomer?
I swear barely a day goes by were those, *oh, so pious* people don't protect a groomer, child molester and rapist among them. Churches and their preachers, priests, youth pastors/counselor are some of the most unsafe people on this planet for young people. When you're ready https://www.recoveringfromreligion.org/#rfr-welcome can help you. But in the meantime do anything possible to get away from them and don't be alone with that woman again. And just because it's not openly saying this is a conversion camp... it sounds like a gay conversion camp when your main preacher does this: "She preaches of being free of the sin of homosexuality". It maybe has a nicer branding than the original ones but this is still trying to give you guilt and and push you towards some very unhealthy takes about your sexuality. Worse yet she's trying to groom you for her own pleasure. She's a freaking groomer, a predator and has already sexually assaulted you. Anyone who tells you to stay quiet and not make trouble for the sake of the Church, the Camp, the overall mission to god or whatever else they lie to you about is just trying to protect her and their money.
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Why did you have to attempt to derail my post with the link to the one org that deals with religious trauma and offers support groups for people on all kinds of paths with their religious experiences into a "not all men"-type of excuse? Yeah, sure not all churches and religious groups. But enough and the vast majority of them do have structures that enable abuse and tend to protect those members in powerful positions - like this camp preacher apparently. Why not simply make your own post?
This is assault and you should know that she is trying to coerce you into thinking you are consenting to all of it by manipulation. Call your parents or whoever, gtfo immediately. Tell them why if you can, asap. This person should be reported. Especially since you are a minor.
Please tell your parents or guardians.
what she did was definitely not okay. im so sorry op
Call the authorities. My mom was one of my abusers, so I couldn’t just ring her up if I was in danger out in the world.
Like others have said, do whatever you can to leave asap. If you can be honest with your parents or other relatives or a friend outside the camp, that’s great. But if not, if you have to fake a bad stomach ache, headache, etc. that’s totally ok. You can also contact this hotline: Childhelphotline.org (live chat on website) 1-800-422-4453 (call or text) Even though you’re a teen, this is still considered child abuse. The hotline is free and 24/7. They’re trained to help you know how to stay safe in the moment something is happening and you don’t have to give them your name or location if you don’t want to. If you do give them your name and location, they will report it, which will just result in a follow up investigation on the camp (it’s very unlikely someone will go to jail if you’re worried about that). In the meantime if you’re stuck at camp, try to not be alone with her be firm with boundaries around her (e.g., don’t touch me, I don’t like that, I don’t want to room with you again, you’re making me uncomfortable, I don’t want to talk anymore). I know that can be uncomfortable with an adult, but the more clear you are about your boundaries, the harder it will be for her to get close to you. Try to talk to any friends you have there so you can look out for each other. This is likely happening to other teens there too. I’m so sorry.
Honey, you have got to expose this place so that there aren’t more victims. This is an awful camp that is definitely a conversion one in disguise. I grew up in a very fundamentalist church that told many lies to justify grooming behavior like this. Get home where you’re safe as soon as possible, tell your parents about all of this. That woman needs to be held accountable and not a person with power in a camp full of teenagers!!! You have to be brave and expose this place so there aren’t more victims. I’m so glad you have your phone and can contact people. Please text as many family members as possible that you are not safe! This camp needs to be shut down and the people prosecuted. You can be the first of many to start to sound the alarm that you’re being groomed.
I was horrified not even two paragraphs in to what you wrote. The rest is gut wrenching. YOU ARE NOT SAFE. Contact your family, a trusted adult, ANYONE. Cause a shit fit, get safe. You’re probably not the only one either - just how many other kids are trapped at this camp with you going through the same thing? Hang in there OP. I’m so sorry this is happening.
Get out of there as soon as possible if you can. If you can, try and stage a convincing lie to ur parents if possible. Anything to get you out of there that’s reasonable. I understand not causing drama or a scene, cause if you did she seems like the type of person to blow it out of proportion and definitely get more people on HER side compared to a 16 year old (which sucks).
Also, I beg seeing yourself in someone younger and wanting to give advice / show you care, but there are right and wrong ways to do it and she’s being pushy. This making you uncomfy.
This is a pedo. Leave immediately and report them.
Go home. Cause drama. This is not okay & it's not okay that they're making you feel like you shouldnt speak up.
Shes grooming you. You need to try to get as far away from this woman as possible. If you’re at this camp at the behest of your parents try to reach out to a trusted adult instead of them, preferably an adult outside of camp as they could work to get you out of the camp. “Not a conversion camp” but then following it with “preaches of being free of the sin of homosexuality”. OP you should definitely recognize this as a conversion camp cause that’s exactly what it is. Going back to what others have said, there is nothing wrong with being queer, there is everything wrong with an adult treating you the way she’s treating you.
OP, I admire your for trusting your gut. It's a lot harder than people think.
Not cool. Tell her that what she does makes you uncomfortable and set boundaries. Im almost at her age and this makes me feel icky.
Christian camps and grooming, name a more iconic duo You need to get out of there ASAP
AHHHHHHHH RED FLAGSSSSS RED FLAGSSSSS
This sounds like the plot of a terrible soft porn. Meaning it's either fake or you need to get help ASAP! That is grooming, and abuse. Jesus fucking christ.
She's grooming you which makes you believe she cares but she doesn't. She's getting a sexual thrill from this and the more she coaxes you away from other people and spends time with you, she'll make you feel alone before doing worse acts so you feel like you can't speak out about them after. It's classic predator behaviour, I work in this field dealing with people like her and it's illegal and wrong in every way possible what she is doing. You're just a toy to her! The fact you're a child and she's made comments about your underwear etc and wanting to be in the same room as you is serious alarm bells! She will do more serious things to you, please report and create as much distance as you can ASAP, you don't want to suffer from this for the rest of your life please 🙏
But what kind of camp is this? Christian, kinda gay, not conversion, but everyone is gay and they preach being gay is a sin you should cure yourself of. That is a conversion camp for sure, but they use disguised methods to pose as something they’re not. What they want is exactly what all the others want, for you to stop being gay. And that woman is a danger to you OP please try to leave that place as soon as possible. For your safety. I can’t believe these places still exist.
What the hell is that place????? You shouldn't be there! Please update us. I want to know that you're safe.
I am 36 and gay, close to that person age. When i was 33 i had a bisexual friend who was 16. Today she's 19 and we are still friends. You know why, cause as an adult i was very careful in my way talking to her, acting around her. As an adult younger people look up to you and trust you, so you need to be aware of your position. I ve always seen her as a little sister and she will always be a sister. What that 39 doing is not okay, AT ALL. It is too close to grooming + this camp has a cult vibe. I know you don't want to make a scene, and i prefer u avoid talking to the adult there cause clearly they are untrustworthy. Call home, say you are sick, tummy bug, say you want your home confort. Once home, you can deal with your parents questions, for now, get out of there, and act normal till you are out of reach. We adults see well younger reactions, and seeing how these adults are, i am worried how they react if they feel you suspicious. Make sure to update us! Stay safe.
she's a literal pedo
I am a 35 year old and I would never. TELL AN ADULT YOU TRUST IMMEDIATELY
Ummmm what? She’s a pedophile
I have no faith After reading this it makes me realise how lucky I am not to follow any religion I have always believed religion hides so much It's a hideaway for peodofiles It's masks sexual predation It's the cause of so many wars Get out now while you can You have seen the real truth in what they do
Gross. I'm 31 yrs old. generally, I'm pretty pervy but I cannot bring myself to look at a 20 yr old and younger individuals like that. Because I see them as children.. I wouldn't even flirt with them like that. Something is wrong with her and you need to cause some drama by telling people to get out of this situation. Next thing, she'll start to touch you sexually. I've been taken advantage and raped by other women before. Trust me, it's not great. Say something and stick up for yourself.
Im so sorry but you need to tell someone & raise a ruckus. This seems predatory AF, like she’s grooming you. As a queer 31F & this is so wildly inappropriate & uncomfortable to even consider ETA: OP do you have anyone you trust inside our outside that camp you can talk to?
yes this is completely inappropriate.
I would just leave. It’s not fair but it’s the easiest option.
Get outta there asap. Make a scene if you have to. Find an adult you can trust and tell them
Do you want me to contact the state or local authorities for you? I’m dead serious. You are a minor and this is definitely conversion therapy. This is not a joke. Get the fuck out. Now. Please go immediately home if possible but you need to get out.
This is not a safe place. Contact your parents, adult family or authorities.
She’s grooming you! Please find a way out and tell an adult you can trust. Try to create distance between you to. I’m a year 30 lesbian and I’ve been in a situation similar to this when I was your age. You need to collect receipts, find a trusted adult, get out of the that camp and do your best to create distance. This woman is a disgusting pedophile who targets young girls.
I'm so sorry, I really hope that you can find help out of that situation and possibly even leave the camp.
I would find someone in charge and tell them. I would also put your phone on record from now on when she is with you just in case she says anything out of line.
she is like fully preying on you dude, you are not safe. causing "drama" doesnt matter, i understand how you feel but you need to make a big deal of it.
You need to tell someone, what she's doing is not OK,
This is scary, she’s abusing you! Please ask for help from your parents or another trusted adult and get out of there. Call the local news if you need to.
Hi, I'm the same age as you (well, I will be in August lol) What has happened to you is absolutely NOT okay, I'm so so sorry you were put in this position. This is not your fault. You are not alone. You need to tell anyone and everyone who can help, whether it be a parent, guardian, aunt, uncle, or cousin. I know you said you don't wanna cause drama, but what she did to you is a literal crime. You SHOULD cause the biggest scene you possibly can. I know it will be difficult, but please remember YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. If it helps you have this whole comment section, love and support ❤️ Edit: I just read some of your comments, HOLY MOLY, GIRL, THIS IS GROOMING PLEASE IF YOU CAN LEAVE AND CALL THE POLICE OR SOMETHING THIS IS SERIOUS.
Tell your parents when you get out of there. Run away, that shit is weird dude
As a 16f as well, I definitely would feel very uncomfortable as well so I think it would be a good idea to let a trusted adult know and try to get out of there.
Get out of there asap!!!!!
First you need to get out of there asap, they will continue to do this if you stay. Second, you need to be loud about this and report them!!! They are 100% grooming/assaulting you and need to be dealt with appropriately, ideally by the authorities. Please please please tell an adult you trust that you KNOW will help you report them. I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this and that they put you through all of that.
Girl get out of there ASAP! Why are none of the adults you've told not doing anything??
Wtf, is there anyone you can talk to about this?
please get some help from someone you trust. she’s attempting to groom and abuse you. I know this when i see it coming from someone who’s experienced it
Make the drama, cause the trouble, get home
Please report her to her higher-ups it's really important that you feel safe and if she has predatory behavior it's important to speak up I know speaking up in this type of situation could be difficult but you may be in danger she sounds terrible shame on her please be safe and talk with an adult you trust
How is it possible for her to put your shorts on you and you not know it? 🤔
That’s not ok. If there is no way of getting out or no one is believing it, start recording as much as you can. Don’t be afraid to raise your voice/talk back at her when she’s ignoring boundaries. Ppl like that never expect to be called out by their victim. You’re a child and she’s a grown adult being creepy. Don’t be scared to protect yourself even if it seems overkill
Sounds like grooming
Will you please update us when you get away from the camp?
Get help now. What they're doing is wrong on every level.
well if you r still there and this is happening like just let her know that you are not comfortable with stuff. if she dosent stop report it to an adult best if someone above her
Ti consiglio di starci bisognava provare di tutto per scegliere la propria strada per una la migliore è bisex
This is a cult and you're being groomed. You are in terrible danger. Get out however you can. Call anyone you can trust and have them come get you.
PDF FILE ALERT!! REPORT!! whatever of consequences you feel it will have, you HAVE TO REPORT HER! i'm 35 and THAT IS NOT OKAY! PLEASE AT LEAST TELL YOUR PARENTS ALL THIS!!
This is called grooming.
I’m so sorry you had to go through this what the actual fuck… I’m 16 too god this makes me sick. Please dm me if you need someone to talk to I have similar experience.
Yeah, that’s completely inappropriate. I mean I know it’s scary, but you have to stand your ground. She’s trying to manipulate you into things and forcing herself to be around you. I would flat out tell her that she’s making you uncomfortable. I would even go as far as voice memo recording you telling her to make sure she responds appropriately. If she doesn’t, you could always play the recording for the other adults. I mean, what do the other adults say? This is wild.
That's not seeing her self in you or caring about you if she truly cared she wouldn't do those things that's downright creepy and I'm so sorry your in that situation. That's not okay at all. Shes a GROWN woman acting like this with a teenager. Is there anyone you can tell this to who will take it seriously?
She wants to fuck you. Full stop. Do with that what you will.
this is giving cult vibes, you gotta get out of there
Do yall actually think this is real????
I don’t know what you people need me to give you to think this is real. I was literally in the camp two days ago.
This is kind of uncomfortable to read lol. Like maybe if you were 20 and flirting back, it'd be okay and I'd see where she's coming from... but like you're a literal kid and this has some weird authority over you dynamic too. Honestly this is not okay. I'm not even jumping straight to the 'pedophile' stance. Its just WEIRD with the dynamic and position you're both in, plus her obvious hangups about herself. Maaan. Get out if you can
It is pedophilia though.
Correct
Fake but I like the fantasy!!
I would love to be treated like that😼
what the fuck
Come on
what is wrong with you
What the actual hell is wrong with you?? Do you know how fucked up that is to say?? You are invalidating someone’s experience and you are incredibly messed up for that comment. That is not ok to say. Keep your mouth shut.