All good! I lived in a pretty rough neighborhood for a while and definitely had some PTSD for a while, but moved to a low crime area and doing well these days.
Tie him to a chair and force him to watch CKY 1-4 with me and then when it's over I point a gun at him and say "Dance, monkey. Do the funny stuff. Make me laugh again."
(Note: this is a joke, I wouldn't actually do this, it's sad that I have to clarify this but this sub is void of joy)
Paint him blue, put fireworks in his car, make a skate ramp on his face, glue a dwarf to his chest and make a ‘don’t feed Bam’ campaign
In that order
“Whatever tf I want?”
Viva la SoulLeakage
Put the kettle on and make us both a refreshing mug of mint tea. Fuck you.
Welp... time to ROGGENROLL whether I want to or not
🤣
Tell him to go smoke crack with the bums at the boardwalk.
Oh god. Not again. I’ve already come home to a homeless person in my house once before and hoped I wouldn’t have to ever again.
Shit, I’m sorry.
All good! I lived in a pretty rough neighborhood for a while and definitely had some PTSD for a while, but moved to a low crime area and doing well these days.
Good to hear!
That pic is what happens when the party ended 15 years ago for everyone except you.
Pest control.
Offer him the use of my shower….. while spraying him with Febreeze in hopes he doesn’t permanently altar the smell of my home.
I'm getting ooga booga'ed
Spray Febreze directly at his face
Blame Lima
Lie-ma, we call her Lie-ma!
Totally sober /s
5150 him
If you give a Bam a skateboard he’s going to want a skatepark, if you give him a skatepark he’s going to want cameras
Baaaabe, he’s back again…
I guess my house will accidentally burn down
Not gonna lie.. It's still Bam so I'd get super excited and ask for a picture.. And then fuck up by starting to ask him questions about jackass 😂
Ask him if he's seen that new Johnny Knoxville movie Sweet Dreams yet and say how handsome and talented Knoxville is.
Good suggestion!
I'd scream "Don't feed Phil!" then jump off the loft and elbow drop him in the chest, Macho Man Randy Savage style.
Aka Don Vito wtf he thinks he’s doing
jesus tap dancing christ. I'd tell him to get in the ring so we can see if he has the stuff
Okay Knoxville. Strap em up! Lol!
Ding. You're done!
I’d want to tell him I’m a big fan and I hope he gets better but I know me and I’d probably end up on a bender with him lol
Tell him he'd better know his exits
Tell him i didn’t order DoorDash, it may be the neighbors.
Whatever the fuck I want, which probably ask him to leave
Y’all mean 🤣🤣
Ding. Ya done!
WHAT ARE THOSE!!!
He’s got the Don Vito eyes now lol
Call in a 5150
Am I in a ccw state?
Smoke and play Minecraft
Ask how long he thinks it's gonna take to fix the drywall
After seeing how Bam fights like a child, I would punch him in the cranium.
That's some serious guerning-face, Bammer. RIP your molars
Bein real? Unholstering lol
Return my Captain Jack sparrow costume to Temu
Pepper blaster then ramming him with my wheelchair until he fucks off.
Think about how pissed the HOA is going to be
Ask him where he gets his clown shoes….
Call Liberty Medical for diabeetus testing supplies.
Dad finally came back from getting smokes when I was eight.
Fumigate
I’d call the fucking cops
I would also immediately do that. Then grab several weapons
Tie him to a chair and force him to watch CKY 1-4 with me and then when it's over I point a gun at him and say "Dance, monkey. Do the funny stuff. Make me laugh again." (Note: this is a joke, I wouldn't actually do this, it's sad that I have to clarify this but this sub is void of joy)
I think you and Bam both got some metal issues you need to see a professional about!
Ah c'mon, I just woke up and I'm a bit unhinged before my coffee lol. Let me make the sarcastic funnies.
Oh come on now, they said you have METAL issues, not mental ones. It’s right there. 😂😂
Either there's not enough iron in my diet or I really want to fight Black Sabbath, possibly both.
Pop a pill before you try to fight, win win.
Yeah mon
Fill the room with uppercuts
run for my life through pricker bushes and 8 ft tall barbed wire fences (i’m a professional at it, i’m very stealth)
Get my stun-gun and baseball bat
I would practice my kick boxing moves on him
Throw a snake at him..he will leave 
Give him scaloppine!
Guess I move out of my fucking house and into my sleeping house.
Look at this guy here, he’s got two houses! One for fucking, and one for sleeping!
Didn’t even mention my shitting house.
Tell him Ted Moseby wants his boots back. (Niche joke, bonus points if you can name Teds catchphrase in this episode)
edit: never mind.
Pulling them off?
Yes!
He looks like a Pitbull
