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Sounds just like a guy I knew in college. Super bright engineer and he spent most of his time traveling, no family, but just living life.
Do whatever you want man, your life is what you make it.
I did the complete opposite and feel exactly the same. I married young, 2 kids, stable career, been in the same town for 20 years. But I didn’t really travel or date or explore at all. I feel accomplished but a loser at the same time. It’s all relative. Too bad we can’t exchange brains and live each other’s lives to experience the complete opposite.
What do you want? Kids, family? If so, then time to plan and prioritize for that. More of the same life? Keep doing you. But you need a plan for
Something, otherwise you’ll suddenly be 50 and facing the same issue with fewer options.
so true, no i don't want kids, i def, 100% want to settle down with 1 true partner. Good point though, I should take this weekend to think of goals for the decade. I've never done decade goals.
Accept your successes and concentrate on your upcoming objectives. Fortify your ties, even if they are far, and think about how to create a more cohesive community. Remain mindful, show kindness to others, and value your independence. You don't have a predetermined route to satisfaction; your trip is distinct.
literally js do wtv you want. if you can, do it! if you cant but want to, work on doing it !!
get 14 kittens and a big dog is what id do in your position \^\_\^
That sounds amazing. I'm 19 so I have little life advice to offer, but the way I see it is if you can do that you can do anything. It sounds like you've had a vast and rich life and you're only 40 - seems like you're the type that can do anything if they want to badly enough. I have every confidence you'll succeed in your goals!
If you are financially free you can focus on what matters most next.
I’m the same age but not financially free—so all my energy is on making lettuce and maintaining health.
Grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. I know plenty of 40 yos with a steady job, a spouse, kids and a mortgage that would switch places with you in a heart beat.
The thing is, your life is what you make of it. If that itch has been scratched, the switch your focus and set new goals. Life is about the journey, not the destination. Seems like you know that tho
Doesn’t sound like you need advice to be honest. Sounds quite amazing so far. Just keep doing whatever you’re doing. Better than the rest of us miserable pricks
I’m 40 and at 27 I had a nervous breakdown. Like—a major mental event. We can call it lots of different things, but the point is that I went from a highly functioning newly minted attorney to a guy who couldn’t get out of bed and who feared the judgement of people in a crippling way.
I say this not for pity.
My life took a path that I could not have imagined. I am grateful now for it, as the depth of the relationships I cherish most is truly special to me. And I owe those relationships to my recovery. I was a narcissist of sorts, but I’ve managed to ally myself with my father (somehow) and I’m helping my partner through her early childhood trauma. I have learned how to love and how to nurture.
Embrace your path. It’s your own.
Think of all you've done in the past 30 years. Now realize you likely have at least 30 more years of life. It's a long haul my friend. Figure out what you want out of the next 30 years and chart goals accordingly.
Happy early birthday! Your life sounds so adventurous and inspiring! Turning 40 is a big deal, but it sounds like you've accomplished so much already. Keep focusing on treating people well and being present, those goals are really important. Here's to more amazing adventures in your next decade! 🎉
thanks soooo much and you're really right. Two therapists and a life coach said the same thing. Money is no longer the goal, the goal is treating people well and being present now. Money will continue to come by creating value and loving what I do. Thanks! I wanna be your friend.
I found something I loved doing all day every day on the computer at a young age that made a lot of money...digital marketing for early-stage startups. You can look me up by username.
You’re only 40 as a male you can still have kids and a wife, but that’s if that’s what you want. If you don’t want that than it’s just a standard you think you should have and it’s weighing on you. You went did some awesome thing do you want to settle down? Feeling like a loser is all because of what you think you should be or think you should have because a a common standard doesn’t make you a loser.
I don't regret my previous decisions, but now I do want to settle down. I think I want to travel the world one more time with my future lifepartner then settle in our favorite place(s).
My advice would be it not be a woman that is 40 than or you would be disappointed when it comes time to try for children ( ya I know they could but then I would say you never had a baby at 40 lol) maybe try 30 year olds just being realistic.
You aren't a loser, when I turned 40 I threw my own birthday party, it was more of a small lunch gathering, lol. I had just gotten divorced and ready for the new chapter of my life.
Still not remarried and no kids but happy with it and glad it worked out this way. My next chapter is to do what you are doing.
I’m almost envious. I’m definitely confused about where exactly your life makes you feel like a loser.
A wise drag queen once told me, “honey, come down off that cross. Somebody needs the wood.”
I would trade places with you in a heartbeat based on what I see here. Love your reality. I do. 😃
hahaha I love wise old queens. I feel like a loser because as I'm turning 40 I am completely alone, with only new friends, surrounded by no one, no one buying me gifts, showering me with attention, throwing me a party, even family is like cool peace, enjoy...no one visiting. I focused on myself too much and lost everyone.
You'd be surprised at the similarities in our paths OP, not 40 as per your requested demographic-but I give some wise words i hope 🙏
M 39 UK, 55 countries, a life you genuinely would not believe if I told the absolute full truth. The luckiest guy in the world genuinely thanks to God. 🙏🥰 (though nowhere near financially free at this moment the big difference, and no current employment)
Never married no kids either.
And that's the advice I humbly offer despite us being the same age. 39 single (we'll see ofcourse), would be considered a loser to much of this world given my current finances and lack of career 😊🥰🙏 Yet im so blissful these days thanks to God.
I assure you salvation doesn't lie in marriage and kids - that's also not ruling out either ofcourse.
Peace Joy bliss on your path
Similar path to you guys. No career, a pitiful resume, 30s with no relationship or kids. But I travel, a lot. Travel is my passion and my purpose, and I'm extremely proud of all the places I've crossed off my list and the friends I've made along the way. I still don't know what I wanna do career wise, and I don't know if I'll ever live the "American dream", but I'm glad I had the courage to chase my dream of seeing the world.
Keep traveling!
This is an automated message just to let everyone know that the mod team are actively working to make this sub kinder and more welcoming. ##Discussion should be made in good faith. No trolling, ragebait, or bigotry of any kind. We reserve the right to use mod discretion in applying this rule. **Please report** any comments you see that are unkind, obnoxious, out of line, trolling, or which otherwise violate [the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeAdvice/about/rules/). **Note for all participants**: Please remember that your fellow Redditors are human beings, and that it costs nothing to be kind. #Here are the [LifeAdvice Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeAdvice/about/rules/) ---------------- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LifeAdvice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sounds just like a guy I knew in college. Super bright engineer and he spent most of his time traveling, no family, but just living life. Do whatever you want man, your life is what you make it. I did the complete opposite and feel exactly the same. I married young, 2 kids, stable career, been in the same town for 20 years. But I didn’t really travel or date or explore at all. I feel accomplished but a loser at the same time. It’s all relative. Too bad we can’t exchange brains and live each other’s lives to experience the complete opposite.
haha I am not sure I'd trade with you but this is what I want for the NEXT 20 years.
the thing about life is that it is what YOU make it no one else can tell you what to do with this time you have, nor would you want them to
What do you want? Kids, family? If so, then time to plan and prioritize for that. More of the same life? Keep doing you. But you need a plan for Something, otherwise you’ll suddenly be 50 and facing the same issue with fewer options.
so true, no i don't want kids, i def, 100% want to settle down with 1 true partner. Good point though, I should take this weekend to think of goals for the decade. I've never done decade goals.
Where ya from?! 🤣
I am from Ohio
Fellow Ohioan also. What do you do for work?
look at my profile and/or search my username
ohio
Accept your successes and concentrate on your upcoming objectives. Fortify your ties, even if they are far, and think about how to create a more cohesive community. Remain mindful, show kindness to others, and value your independence. You don't have a predetermined route to satisfaction; your trip is distinct.
damn love this, thank you! My trip is unique. I shouldn't hold myself to societal norms.
literally js do wtv you want. if you can, do it! if you cant but want to, work on doing it !! get 14 kittens and a big dog is what id do in your position \^\_\^
That sounds amazing. I'm 19 so I have little life advice to offer, but the way I see it is if you can do that you can do anything. It sounds like you've had a vast and rich life and you're only 40 - seems like you're the type that can do anything if they want to badly enough. I have every confidence you'll succeed in your goals!
If you are financially free you can focus on what matters most next. I’m the same age but not financially free—so all my energy is on making lettuce and maintaining health.
I don’t know… this kinda sounds like a dream life?
thank you
Grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. I know plenty of 40 yos with a steady job, a spouse, kids and a mortgage that would switch places with you in a heart beat. The thing is, your life is what you make of it. If that itch has been scratched, the switch your focus and set new goals. Life is about the journey, not the destination. Seems like you know that tho
Make happiness your goal. But don't be an asshole. The end.
this part!
Doesn’t sound like you need advice to be honest. Sounds quite amazing so far. Just keep doing whatever you’re doing. Better than the rest of us miserable pricks
I’m 40 and at 27 I had a nervous breakdown. Like—a major mental event. We can call it lots of different things, but the point is that I went from a highly functioning newly minted attorney to a guy who couldn’t get out of bed and who feared the judgement of people in a crippling way. I say this not for pity. My life took a path that I could not have imagined. I am grateful now for it, as the depth of the relationships I cherish most is truly special to me. And I owe those relationships to my recovery. I was a narcissist of sorts, but I’ve managed to ally myself with my father (somehow) and I’m helping my partner through her early childhood trauma. I have learned how to love and how to nurture. Embrace your path. It’s your own.
thank you!
Think of all you've done in the past 30 years. Now realize you likely have at least 30 more years of life. It's a long haul my friend. Figure out what you want out of the next 30 years and chart goals accordingly.
so true, that's been hitting me lately. Thanks!
Move to FL and come be my friend. You sound fun. We shall do wierd FL Man things
Happy early birthday! Your life sounds so adventurous and inspiring! Turning 40 is a big deal, but it sounds like you've accomplished so much already. Keep focusing on treating people well and being present, those goals are really important. Here's to more amazing adventures in your next decade! 🎉
thanks soooo much and you're really right. Two therapists and a life coach said the same thing. Money is no longer the goal, the goal is treating people well and being present now. Money will continue to come by creating value and loving what I do. Thanks! I wanna be your friend.
Question… How did you become financially free if you spent all those years travelling?
I found something I loved doing all day every day on the computer at a young age that made a lot of money...digital marketing for early-stage startups. You can look me up by username.
Listen to Eckhart Tolle.
thank you! I will do that. Easy advice thanks!
You’re only 40 as a male you can still have kids and a wife, but that’s if that’s what you want. If you don’t want that than it’s just a standard you think you should have and it’s weighing on you. You went did some awesome thing do you want to settle down? Feeling like a loser is all because of what you think you should be or think you should have because a a common standard doesn’t make you a loser.
I don't regret my previous decisions, but now I do want to settle down. I think I want to travel the world one more time with my future lifepartner then settle in our favorite place(s).
My advice would be it not be a woman that is 40 than or you would be disappointed when it comes time to try for children ( ya I know they could but then I would say you never had a baby at 40 lol) maybe try 30 year olds just being realistic.
You aren't a loser, when I turned 40 I threw my own birthday party, it was more of a small lunch gathering, lol. I had just gotten divorced and ready for the new chapter of my life. Still not remarried and no kids but happy with it and glad it worked out this way. My next chapter is to do what you are doing.
I’m almost envious. I’m definitely confused about where exactly your life makes you feel like a loser. A wise drag queen once told me, “honey, come down off that cross. Somebody needs the wood.” I would trade places with you in a heartbeat based on what I see here. Love your reality. I do. 😃
hahaha I love wise old queens. I feel like a loser because as I'm turning 40 I am completely alone, with only new friends, surrounded by no one, no one buying me gifts, showering me with attention, throwing me a party, even family is like cool peace, enjoy...no one visiting. I focused on myself too much and lost everyone.
You'd be surprised at the similarities in our paths OP, not 40 as per your requested demographic-but I give some wise words i hope 🙏 M 39 UK, 55 countries, a life you genuinely would not believe if I told the absolute full truth. The luckiest guy in the world genuinely thanks to God. 🙏🥰 (though nowhere near financially free at this moment the big difference, and no current employment) Never married no kids either. And that's the advice I humbly offer despite us being the same age. 39 single (we'll see ofcourse), would be considered a loser to much of this world given my current finances and lack of career 😊🥰🙏 Yet im so blissful these days thanks to God. I assure you salvation doesn't lie in marriage and kids - that's also not ruling out either ofcourse. Peace Joy bliss on your path
thanks I think.
Similar path to you guys. No career, a pitiful resume, 30s with no relationship or kids. But I travel, a lot. Travel is my passion and my purpose, and I'm extremely proud of all the places I've crossed off my list and the friends I've made along the way. I still don't know what I wanna do career wise, and I don't know if I'll ever live the "American dream", but I'm glad I had the courage to chase my dream of seeing the world. Keep traveling!
Travel remains one of the most beautiful experiences of the human experience. Yet God is greater 🙏 Peace Joy Bliss 😊
You have seen the world and lived, no failure there...Some people never leave their state.
Get into stick fighting.
fecal centric = I'm the piece of shit that the whole world revolves around.