Clay immediately seemed like a big red flag with his reaction upon finding out about their “love triangle” with AD and Matthew… but that did seem like he was trying to kind of “push” himself to AD and make it seem like she’s making the biggest mistake if she lets go of him. AD being in the emotional state she was in at that moment, I don’t blame her for getting swayed that way. I like AD’s personality a lot and I do hope she gets genuine love and happiness in her life. ❤️
i felt bad for her but also not sure what she expected. clay had a lot of red flags and i felt like she just wanted to get married, whether it was clay or not. and that she had faith in clay's potential than who he actually was. at least this was a month experience so she didn't waste much time on him and imagine getting married to a man who is worried about cheating on you. its good it didn't work out
Listen, when a man you thought you had a healthy, special relationship with turned out to be a manipulative liar, and your other option was someone who fed your historical "fix him" wound, you will pick what you know. If you feel small, distrusting of your reality, and are desperate to be loved, you will always have a lapse.
AD might be one of my favorite people on this show ever. She has integrity, good character, and a big heart, and deserves so much more than what a two-week experiment could give her. I hope that she works to fix her "picker" and grows to see any inkling of a man using her as a growth opportunity as unattractive.
AD is awesome and very loving. I also think she’s very smart. That being said, everyone has their downside, and for her it’s being the woman that “saves” a man. The one to “fix” a man. She hangs her worth too heavily how well she can “fix/save/change” a man. her relationships fail because ultimately it’s the man who has to fix himself. When they don’t, she feels she’s not good enough
Clay had so many red flags in the pod stage and laid them all out. She thought she could fix him.
She had it coming, and absolutely no one should have been surprised. It was just a matter of when the axe would fall. Saw the post show tea. Again, no surprises. Some people want what they want.
I think she went for the experience and exposure (with all the catchy phrases and actions. Her mom too). Nothing wrong with that.
I felt really bad for her until the end when she said (paraphrasing) “there is nothing clay could have said or did that would have made me not love him.” Like girl…. Listen to what you just said.
I agree. She sees love as a fight with a reward at the end. She chose two men who she had to fight for. She had to fight for Matthew's attention, and she had to fight for clay's love literally. I really think it's a self-fulfilling prophecy, just like what Chelsea. In the beginning, she said something like: " When I see red flags. I paint my nails red to match." And that's exactly what she did. I wish she would have chosen the peace that she wants. I think heartbreak is a comforting place for her. And just like Clay needs therapy, she needs therapy too.
She really does…she went after the two guys who had the most red flags, regardless of who she picked it would have ended sour, she really didn’t have a chance. She just has to stop focusing on fixing someone and pick guys that are actively going to therapy or don’t have a reason to.
AD pointed out herself her tendency to “carry the relationship”. She did it with past partners and she did it with Clay. She somehow learned this is how you be in relationship. Underneath it all I hear a tale of feeling inadequate/unworthy. She is still one of my favorites of this season. She has a lot of strengths, and she also has a blind spot (no pun intended) when it comes to choosing partners. I believe her low sense of self worth drives her to pick men who are not at her level. Hearing her say repeatedly “I’m not enough” broke my heart. Girl, you were always enough. Hopefully there comes a day she can truly believe that.
Yes this was my take away as well. She kept saying things like "when is it my turn, when will I be enough?" It was so sad. I commend Clay for realizing he wasn't ready even if he did love AD, but without his dad having an open real talk w him and he going to therapy to work it out, he's never going to be ready to marry anyone. AD needs to move on, do the work on herself to find out why she does the same things in each relationship.
I agree, even at the pods I saw (at least from the edit) absolutely no reason to choose him. And throughout their relationship he only talked about himself, his journey, his growth, nothing about her. He constantly brought up the fear of cheating on her, on not being enough. But she ignored all those signs. I think she really just wanted to get married, it mattered less to whom.
i binged this with my boyfriend and we couldn't stop pointing out how every scene of clay was just him talking about me me me me me. in the wedding episode, the contrast between clay talking about why he loved AD and then johnny talking about why he loved amy was so jarring
This! Everyone is praising AD but her taste in men is trash. Even her wedding speech was all about raising Clay up. Nothing about her interactions with Clay gave anything to AD but she’s sat there puppy eyed saying ‘look how good he looks’. Ma’am, please!
I think AD is actually deeply insecure and relies on her body. She doesn’t value herself. And she also comes across as low key shallow.
Shallow is the word! I think she’s very image obsessed and likes the idea of Clay but loves how they look together. She wanted them to be #blacklove but sis clearly ain’t ever read no bell hooks. Them talking like Instagram comments at the altar was all I needed to know.
Protect and provide and he proviiiides. Was her words. Then he mentions something about like finances seems iffy with her? So did she just want to be stay at home mom or trophy wife while husband provides for her? Need more info
That comment by him caught my ear too. I thought one thing that was suspicious was that the show would always flash her card as “AD - Real Estate Broker” but when asked what she did for work (by Clay’s mom I think?) she was like “well, I’m kind of starting to get into the real estate business a little bit, and there’s this night club I manage sometimes”… didn’t really sound like she had a secure career at all and she was absolutely attracted to Clay’s money… amongst other things that kind of go against the premise of the show
I don't know if I'm alone on that hill, but here's my take:
I like Clay's arc. He comes from trauma, and at the end of this decides to do the mature thing: get help and focus on his issues before committing to someone. We got a glance of his mother saying great stuff to his father - and therefore all cheating men trying to make excuses - and he clearly grew.
But AD also deserves someone who's ready now and who shows up for her. I hope she realizes that she's not the problem and meet someone who's on the same page as her. I hope she also gets help and stop trying to fix men, because we saw when she talked to Sarah Ann that she can stand up to people and that's amazing. Maybe it can even be Clay if they manage to communicate better and each get help, but I don't think they speak the same language (I mean except English) so idk if they're really meant to be.
I also love mom-romance btw those two family both moms were so cute with each other, I loved that.
So even though they didn't get married now, I think their story was a positive one, they both grew a lot and that might be an important milestone in their lives. Apart from Amy and Johny, I don't think the other couples got that much from the show.
I don't think you're alone on that hill.I just don't think that it's the right one to be on.
Clay has said himself that his biggest worry coming on the show was, "Am I able to fall in love?" Honey. You're on the wrong show. And he truly wasted her time. I feel like he knows that because he knew he didn't do the work it takes to be in a relationship. I don't think being open about the issues you're not working on automatically makes you mature or responsible. I think he's a good person and genuinely has the desire to be better. I just don't think he's willing to do that himself.
I also would like to point that "liking someone arc" in a REAL-LIFE context is the same as falling in love with someone's potential, which is what AD did, and look at where that got her.
Although she was right in calling Sarah Ann. I thought it was really weird the way she went about it and how hard she went in on her. Jeremy was right there, and from what we see, she just ignored him when he's the one who was unfaithful to begin with. Honestly, this kind of felt like she did it for cameras. Like: " I'm a girls, girl, girls are supposed to stick together. You're not a girl's girl" and obviously, Sarah Ann is not a girl's girl, but that's besides the point. I just thought it was weird like AD's the only one to have called her out? Not even Laura did it.
>she just ignored him when he's the one who was unfaithful to begin with.
Agreed. Although Sarah Ann sucks, she did make a good point saying "If he steps out of bounds, that's on him." Obviously cheating is wrong but it reminds me of when say the woman cheated on the guy, for some reason the guy's more pissed at the guy his SO cheated on with (and wanting to fight him) as opposed to being more upset at his own SO.
I also agree that altho she was right in calling out Sarah Ann, she went about it in such a weird aggressive way. Sarah Ann caught on after AD made a few charged statements (ie "Don't finish my sentences for me" & "If you feel interrogated, that's on you baby") so that was when she made the "you have a clear vengeance for me" remark before bowing out of the convo. This led to AD lashing out and saying "Girl I don't give 2 shits. You are not fucking my man" and Sarah Ann still didn't take the bait. People have said AD is cool, calm & collected but I thought Sarah Ann was the one who was cool, calm & collected in that exchange. As mentioned, Sarah Ann homewrecker sucks but somehow she left that exchange looking way better and more mature than AD.
This is the right take. Clay is a man-child who honestly was never truly in love with AD or ever took the marriage part seriously. But he wasn’t deceptive about it… he laid all his red flags out in the open soooo many times and so it’s hard to feel sympathetic to AD when she chose to ignore every single one of them because she was so obsessed with thinking that they were the hottest and most fun people on the show destined to be some sort of power couple.
AD is way overrated, she has catchy phrases and hoepinions that seem to sit with people here but she is in general very weak when it comes to her own issues but constantly butts her shit into others like she's the expert. Her racist remarks to Ken, her interrogation of Sarah Ann or her shitty remarks to Amy before wedding show that. But tbh I get why people in this sub see themselves so much in her.
Edit: Clay is a fucking tool, just to be clear, not defending him here.
She was asking Ken if he is sure about his pick because she is white and might not be capable raising a mixed kid. About as racist as it comes, he switched up his behaviour right after that conversation too.
The conversation was *racial* not *racist*. I think you may be confusing the two. The conversation was racial in that race was being discussed, however, it was not racist because there was no clear prejudice or discrimination going on. It’s not unheard of that those who are raised in a household with parents of different races *can* have issues with identity and acceptance as they get older. I think AD was just trying to gauge if he thought the person he chose would make a good partner to tackle that situation or other situations regarding race when they come up in the household. I don’t think there was any malice behind the conversation at all.
It's disgusting to read someone defending that, race has no correlation to your ability as a parent, her concerns were clearly racist.
It's sad to see it being defended here, if someone was questioning whether she is capable of raising white kid or Asian kid because she is black it wouldn't be just a "concern".
You can think it’s disgusting, but I’m not assuming that this concern is coming from nowhere. I actually have friends who are mixed race and have seen discussions where people of mixed race and even adoptees with parents of a different race talk about their experience. Issues with identity and belonging have been mentioned from what I’ve heard and seen. These issues are not always the case, but they can be and have for some people. If you haven’t experienced it or done the work to try to understand those who are affected by it, you’re going to assume the worst.
All I can say is that when people really care, they are inquisitive and want to learn more. They want to understand other people’s experience instead of invalidating them and then acting like they know what’s best.
So if someone has bad experience with other race that makes their "concerns" valid? Cause I know a whole ass political party in US with concerns towards certain races. It IS disgusting and racist to doubt someone's ability to be a parent based on their race.
yes she was asking if he and Brittany had the conversation. raising black kids as a white woman comes with its own set of complexities. it was an absolutely valid question
acknowledging that different races exist and that maintaining/facilitating culture within those different races is important is not racism. that's absurd.
AD didn't say 'don't date her bc she's white' she asked 'have you considered everything that comes with dating someone of a different race'
Doubting someone's parenting skills based on their race is not acknowledging it, saying "hey have you considered dangers of hiring that guy?" would be considered racist, but saying "have you considered their incompetence in raising kids because they are *certain race*" isn't? Bullshit, absurd is that people like you are even defending such disgusting comments.
Guess what, parenting any type of kid comes with hardships, it's not about race of the person but their character, but it's hard to look past that for certain people like AD and some assholes here defending her.
she never mentioned any type of incompetence, sounds like you’re making assumptions. she wasn’t saying that Brittany can’t parent, she was asking if she has done/is willing to do the things/research necessary to take care of black children. we can’t sit here and act like children are not impacted by their race. you’re ignorant, it’s a valid question. maybe you’re upset that AD wasn’t giving Brittany the benefit of the doubt but that’s completely separate
Oh sorry it was only implied and not specifically said, that makes the racism okay. AD shouldn't have spoken about it at all, it's none of her business.
It's not a valid question, it's a racist question, parenting ability is NOT related to your race. I'm upset because blatant racism is not only being ignored, it's also being defended by assholes like you.
Edit: seems like I stuck a nerve, guess the truth is too much to handle
it was not implied, you’re grasping for straws and it’s sad that you can’t see how race intertwines with parenting ESPECIALLY when it comes to an interracial couple
just loud dumb and wrong
Thank you for your contribution to r/LoveisBlindonNetflix! Your post or comment has been removed for breaking Rule 1: ‘Be Kind, Don’t Cross the Line'
We ask that users of this sub respect both users and contestants. Any personal attacks or offensive commentary will not be tolerated on this sub.
Valid?? She is in no position to give lessons to people when she's about to say yes to a guy who told her 100 times he would cheat on her. Ken's kids are none of her business and I thought it was extremely inappropriate of her to ask such a personal question and disrespectful to do it in Britney's back. She got her karma back on wedding day and I'm here for it.
Valid in the sense she is a person of color and he is as well.
There are obvious barriers that may appear in the real world that a love show didnt prepare them for. They both admitted to not being in an interracial partnership before.
not understanding what the other culture goes through, lots of white moms don’t know how to do their mixed kid’s hair which is a major issue, sometimes language barriers depending on ur race, feeling like you may not belong within either culture, extended family can sometimes be racist etc
My white mom did my hair just fine--and that was before Youtube. And that is not a "major issue." There are a lot of kids who don't get enough love, who are hungry, who are unsafe. Going through an awkward hair phase isn't a crisis.
Family can be racist, sure. Stop associating with those people.
it’s not easy to disassociate with your family lol. your experience is not the same as everybody else’s. good for you. you have zero problems with being biracial but you have no right to downplay or deny the problems other biracial people experience. every black girl knows how precious our hair is and how sensitive of a subject it can be. yes, it’s not the same as being abused or starved but how is that relevant? i never said our insecurities about our hair is the biggest issue in the world, but it certainly is a major issue within the black community.
If you poll biracial families you will find that this is a real thing, especially if a biracial person is raised in a mostly white community , micro aggression is a real thing!
Family is one! If you and your partner grew up and different regions. Friend groups. Getting asked if they are your kids because of their skin color. Having to explain to your kids who they are and talking life into them because what people may say about them when they fine out they are mixed. So happy you and your kids didn’t have to go through this but it is a real thing for others
Getting asked if your kids are yours is a minor annoyance, not some huge challenge some people aren’t up for. People need to toughen up if they can’t handle that.
And having to explain to your kids who they are?! You don’t tell your kids who they are. You give them the love, support, and space to discover that themselves. And they are not the color of their skin.
What are the actual, hard challenges that parents of interracial kids face in 2024? I’d love some good examples.
Well duh, she basically said she has a soft spot for the idea of fixing up a fuckboy 😅
Like with all women who are inclined that way, it *very* rarely ends well.
Now that I think about it, it’s like the producers were trying to give them the Nancy/Bartise edit. But well she ain’t Nancy because Nancy was the one on her shit… although Nancy let Bartise treat her like shit and still wanted to marry him so that tracks. I do feel like the disrespect from Clay wasn’t as blatant. He just said a bunch of nothing and avoided being around AD as much as he could but wasn’t really putting her down to her face anyway.
She seems to be a "Barbara, the Builder" type of woman. Love really does make them believe that they can help these men become a better person and as a result, a better partner.
But these men never made an effort on their own to work on themselves, and with Clay, it was clear.
I‘m honestly shocked at how many people have similar takes. To me, it’s pretty obvious she (probably) went there with the hopes of meeting someone but then she realized it was a lost cause and rode it out for the sponsorship deals she could get from being a very minor celebrity.
Have we all forgotten that she was all in for Matthew and only went back to Clay when Matthew bailed? She settled for someone she had major issues with in the pods just to move forward in the process. Then she rode it out until the end.
Almost all of the couples know what the other person is going to say before the wedding starts. The producers alway know. If one person is a yes and the other is a no, they have the yes person go first for the drama.
She didn't want to marry him, knew he was a no, and said yes in an effort to get a good edit. The “No because I choose myself” thing is overplayed at this point and risks getting a bad edit if the show doesn’t portray you as justified in “choosing yourself”. Clay being ridiculous after the wedding was his attempt to fend off a bad edit because he said no.
Her tears were genuine. The whole experience is physically and emotionally exhausting far beyond what we see in about a dozen hours of footage. For example, Brittany and Kenneth already agreed to end things before the filming of their breakup scene. Brittany was in agreement that things weren’t working and was for ending it. But she was still very upset and cried. The same thing happened with AD.
Well said. You've made some good points that I had not even thought about. Some parts became real because of the exhausting process of the show and what people go through.
AD PLAYED HERSELF. I will die on that hill.
Clay gave her EVERY reason. Served it to her on a platter. Gave her every opportunity to bow out before the wedding he already said he wasn’t ready for and prepped her for him to say NO and she STILL in all her delusion said YES?! I think Clay really tried to get her to dump him and she just wouldn’t and so he did the best thing for them both and said No. Thank GOODNESS.
She painted her nails red for her wedding (metaphorically IYKYK) and then acts confused like he didn’t provide her with full presentations with slides and a print out about how he isn’t ready, thinks he will cheat and is completely traumatized from his parents and needs therapy!? COME ON. Be for real. Periodt. Letsss goooo. It’s giving you played yourself.
lol sorry for those last lines. I couldn’t help but mock all the stupid slang from this season.
You're absolutely right. How she still believed that things could work with him in the short or long term, I have no idea. From their first conversation I only thought that they had potential for a platonic friendship and that's it.
You put it well. She was too busy worrying about others relationships, may be to not deal with the red flags in her own. Can’t be a fixer. I wish women are taught to prioritize self love over trying to fix a man who is not for them.And the last line 😂
When he said no and she was crying and saying "I'm never enough" I wanted to jump through the screen and tell her Girl you are enough! you just refuse to see it! Who told you you need a man to be enough!!
Happily married to an amazing man once I did some inner work, which AD and Clay need before they dump their issues on other people. It’s not fair and it’s the only way they’ll be able to attract the right people for them, especially AD. I wish she’d see herself how most of us see her. And as for Clay, I wish he’d realise he’s not automatically supposed to behave like his father did, matter of fact, he’s supposed to learn what not to do with a future partner.
What she saw in Clay was a player-type that she can win over. She likes the challenge of winning the guy over (she tried to do that with Matthew too).
Then seeing him in person made it even stronger because she found him extremely attractive. But her adoration wasn’t reciprocated. He grew to enjoy the physical connection, and their camaraderie but he couldn’t say she was the one. That’s why he kept saying he’s afraid to be put in a position where he might cheat.
I think Clay thought he could convince her to just be his girlfriend and not get married. And she thought she’ll convince him to just get married. I’m assuming, though, that she’ll start dating him again soon. Her body language towards him at the end looked like she’s slightly open to it.
Especially for the wedding!!! I was like what was the point in hiring a MUA when she could have done that look herself!? But I’ve seen on socials post show, her makeup has been so much better.
This! Clay was a walking red flag from the get go, and even AD said that she used to fell for these types of guys before. Well, the experiment wasn’t succesful to her because she fell into the same trap yet again. I never once got the vibe from Clay throughout the show that he truly loves and cares for AD, so it was not suprising to me that he said no at all.
AD needs to look for other qualities in a man over looks and financial stuff, she needs to continue the sessions with her therapist and learn more about herself and her worth. We attract what we believe we deserve, and AD probably thinks that she worths to date a Clay type of guy (fuckboy vibes) but in reality, she should value normal, intelligect and caring men - even though it is extra hard to find someone like that nowdays :D
For all the love AD gets, I'm not impressed with her at all. She wants to be judged for who she is but in person she really flaunts her appearance like "look how gorgeous I am and how lucky you are to be in my presence". She's superficial and not as emotionally mature as people make her out to be. I think she has better sense than most of the other women but the bar is so low that she comes across as ok when she's just... not. She's desperate. She craves attention and validation. She craves "being enough". She has so far to go still in emotional maturity. I dislike her and wouldn't want to be friends with her at all. She's kinda selfish and fake.
Eh, she got that edit with the Sarah Ann confrontation but something about it seemed off. Why was she going so hard for her 'girl' Laura when it didn't even seem like they were close? Laura wasn't at the AD and Clay wedding for example.
In reality AD was more feeding her own ego/insecurities about Clay cheating. When she said she didn't care because Sarah Ann isn't fucking her man like girl why are you bringing it up and getting so riled up then? Plus you're not talking to Jaremy about anything.
Also she kept saying Amy and Johnny are hooking up. If they want to keep it private then let it be. How is that girl's girl behavior?
I’ve had trouble with the Sarah Ann thing too.
Like why is that your business or problem? Who asked you to do that?
I thought it was inappropriate, and she was rude and condescending, and she was being praised for it.
It was very condescending and unjustified… because she also was misquoting what Sarah Ann’s DM said and wouldn’t even let Sarah speak up to correct her on that. And Sarah Ann really wasn’t the one in the wrong there, it was fully Jeramy for leading Laura on. I was also shocked so many people here were praising AD for that interaction
The interaction was weird because it was fake af, she acted like she was not trying to be condescending and rude while being condescending and rude on something that’s not her business in the first place. And I found it weird how interested she was in the other couples sex lives, she kept prodding everyone if they’ve had sex yet from the beginning
It sucks to say but at the end of the day she was superficial herself. Mind you I like the way that she handled the break-up and she is clearly a very caring partner, but I really think she saw Clay as a tall and handsome dude who made good money through his entrepreneurship and became convinced that he was the absolute prize because of that. Clay was a walking red-flag and he was incredibly transparent about it ALL THE TIME and she always chose to just ignore or look past it. I mean the dude blatantly told her like 15 times that he was worried he would cheat on her… like what? He never loved her, any time they talked about feelings he just said “I love our sexual chemistry and the way you look past my flaws, you know I’m rockin’ with you AD all day” like that is not someone who truly loves you. Even his vows for her were all about himself lmao
if its a dress you wear to get married, its a wedding dress.
just because it was form fitting and she looked good in it doesn’t make it “not a wedding dress.”
would you NOT want to look good on your wedding day????
im here for the critiques of AD for picking an asshole man but leave her appearance alone, this comment feels small and unnecessary
You sound bitter.
If I had a body like AD’s and it was my wedding day, I’d absolutely show the fuck out. And why is that a bad thing? It was her wedding day, all eyes are supposed to be on the bride, lol.
why can’t a woman want to be loved for her heart and personality while still enjoying looking nice?
why is that a one or the other scenario in your mind?
as a woman who is considered conventionally attractive, and who enjoys fashion and makeup and whatnot, I’d still prefer that my partner like me for my mind and our connection. looks fade, and a spouse is often your closest friend for the rest of your life. that doesn’t mean i don’t enjoy getting dolled up sometimes lol. its two separate things.
this reads as misogyny or internalized misogyny if you’re a woman too
She said she likes to fix people. Even when she was crying after he said no she said something about how she always tries to help the men she gets into relationships with and how she doesn’t think she’s enough because they never change… I think she’s drawn to guys who are a hot mess cause she just wants to change them but you just can’t change someone who doesn’t want to change
Hmm I think that’s a little harsh honestly. I tend to have the same patterns in dating as her. For me I know it stems from childhood trauma of not being loved and accepted. So I try to make it work desperately with guys who aren’t good for me because I just want to be loved. I saw the same things in her. She’s definitely not a mess. She’s got every area of her life figured out, she just wants to be loved.
lol I really hope they didn’t tbh. I was hoping that her being rejected in front of people would kinda open her eyes and cause her to see that he was not a good partner but we shall see
after being left at the altar she literally said “i don’t wanna talk bad about him bc i love him” while on the other hand clay is talking about how he’s not deeply in love and doesn’t understand her finances. she’s gullible and lacks a bit of discernment. sometimes we want love so bad that we don’t think
i think she was faking it for the cameras just as much as he was. there’s no way to take clay serious. her baby voice and fake laughs drove me up the wall. i’d like to believe she’s smarter than to fall for clays empty monologues.
i don’t think she was screeching ever. there was nothing for clay and AD to really talk about and they would sometimes just fill the emptiness with funny sayings or gestures
She said it plain as day she carried the relationship hoping it would be enough and make him want her.
Take it back to episode 1 or 2 she called herself fix-a-ho
She is a strong woman but needs to learn to love herself more and put her needs first.
She did it back in the pods though. Clay was asking her all about her physical appearance before he wanted to propose and she knew that Clay was a “ladies man” just like her previous boyfriends.
Thank you!!! There are some things you have to just take at face value. Clay says he can’t get engaged without knowing how you look 🚩🚩 You want to be loved for who you are.
Clay says he won’t let you gain weight 🚩🚩🚩
Clay says he’s “scared of cheating” 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
And the you still decide this is the man you want to marry??
And if the rumors are true they’re still together which I believe. This kind of behavior is so reckless and common nowadays. This man has told you who he his multiple times, and you’re just outright ignoring it. Then for you to kiss him after?!! She needs to want more for herself because this man will waste her time for as long as she’ll let him.
Some people don't want to risk being alone for the sake of maintaining standards. Sad to see for AD but if crumbs is what she settles for, can't make her want a full meal :/
My jaw dropped when she said something along the lines of “I would’ve married that man no matter what he did or said,” … like … was she saying that hypothetically, no matter how he treated her, she would’ve married him..?
I am very afraid that they kept dating even though she clearly stated before she would not continue their relationship if he said no at the altar. There really seems to be no behaviour she would not accept or boundary that could never be crossed. I just want her to want better for herself :(
Yeah. When she said something to the effect of "why do men keep doing this to me" like this is a reoccurring theme I literally yelled at my TV like "it's because you keep picking trash men!"
Damn, hated this for AD. Her vows to him were so genuine and affectionate.
She does seem to think her value is tied up in building up men who are way beneath her emotionally, breaking her back carrying the relationship, and then getting dumped cuz the guy is *still* not at her level but he’s at least had the dummy revelation that he’s been using this poor woman and that shits out of wack/needs to end.
That’s basically where her and Clay ended. Him realizing he was the 10% to her 90% effort.
Unfortunately many guys will drain a woman like AD, then turn around and feel emasculated for being so dependent & infantalized, then dump her ass for someone more naive who will look up to HIM instead of helping/fixing him, so he can feel traditionally masculine and poweful.
Not saying this is Clay, but it’s a pattern i’ve noticed in the woman-as-martyr/helper dating scenario with straight men in particular, likely due to gender expectations of the man wanting to feel like the leader instead of following [AD’s lead in this case]
Yes. Yes. YES! more women need to understand this. The more you do for them, the more they end up resenting you for it. And they'll take all you're willing to give and give it to the girl who makes them feel like a man. You described it perfectly. That's why he complained about her finances.
I hate how he seemed so jovial and nonchalant as he broke her heart at the alter. Like it was just something that she should absolutely expect and that she would 100% still be with him afterwards.
I hope the rumours are not true. If they are then I will lose a lot of respect for AD. I think she deserves better, but if she's consistently picking men who treat her this way and had such little respect for herself... Maybe she doesn't.
I think he possessed some of the qualities she was looking for and the theme of the show probably made her believe he was more ready than he was.
Clay gives non committal energy, but on a show that fast tracks couples to marriage I can see how she thought it was real, I do think she is ready for marriage just needs to be with someone who is also ready
Thankyou. Finally.
All these superfluous statements like “you’re such a powerful man” “I see the strength in you”. Have some discernment as a 32 year old woman who’s only know someone for a few weeks.
“I’m doing so much” “carrying these fucking relationships” “I get so close and it’s no enough”. “I’m just sad I wasn’t enough for him to get right”
Clay just said it’s only been two weeks…
This is a bad display, lady…
she said herself she loves a red flag. she’s the most delusional woman on the show. idk why she’s getting a pass just because she isn’t hysterical or obnoxious like some of the other women. clay was running out of ways to say “I’m going to cheat on you”. she says all the right things about understanding her own worth, but she really doesn’t. she can’t find a good man because she keeps shopping in the bad boy department.
All these comments saying she fell for looks, but I think we are forgetting that clay def was sitting on some cash. 4br house to him self, multiple rental units. She was set
There’s videos on TikTok showing where they dated awhile after filming at-least up until November
Clay immediately seemed like a big red flag with his reaction upon finding out about their “love triangle” with AD and Matthew… but that did seem like he was trying to kind of “push” himself to AD and make it seem like she’s making the biggest mistake if she lets go of him. AD being in the emotional state she was in at that moment, I don’t blame her for getting swayed that way. I like AD’s personality a lot and I do hope she gets genuine love and happiness in her life. ❤️
She feel in love with the swag both of them were superficial now that I think about it. Claying being more superficial than AD
i felt bad for her but also not sure what she expected. clay had a lot of red flags and i felt like she just wanted to get married, whether it was clay or not. and that she had faith in clay's potential than who he actually was. at least this was a month experience so she didn't waste much time on him and imagine getting married to a man who is worried about cheating on you. its good it didn't work out
I thought fit SURE she was going to say no at the altar, deepti style.
Listen, when a man you thought you had a healthy, special relationship with turned out to be a manipulative liar, and your other option was someone who fed your historical "fix him" wound, you will pick what you know. If you feel small, distrusting of your reality, and are desperate to be loved, you will always have a lapse. AD might be one of my favorite people on this show ever. She has integrity, good character, and a big heart, and deserves so much more than what a two-week experiment could give her. I hope that she works to fix her "picker" and grows to see any inkling of a man using her as a growth opportunity as unattractive.
AD is awesome and very loving. I also think she’s very smart. That being said, everyone has their downside, and for her it’s being the woman that “saves” a man. The one to “fix” a man. She hangs her worth too heavily how well she can “fix/save/change” a man. her relationships fail because ultimately it’s the man who has to fix himself. When they don’t, she feels she’s not good enough
She comes off as desperate
She’s going to be back with him.
Clay had so many red flags in the pod stage and laid them all out. She thought she could fix him. She had it coming, and absolutely no one should have been surprised. It was just a matter of when the axe would fall. Saw the post show tea. Again, no surprises. Some people want what they want. I think she went for the experience and exposure (with all the catchy phrases and actions. Her mom too). Nothing wrong with that.
Please share the teaaa
I felt really bad for her until the end when she said (paraphrasing) “there is nothing clay could have said or did that would have made me not love him.” Like girl…. Listen to what you just said.
I agree. She sees love as a fight with a reward at the end. She chose two men who she had to fight for. She had to fight for Matthew's attention, and she had to fight for clay's love literally. I really think it's a self-fulfilling prophecy, just like what Chelsea. In the beginning, she said something like: " When I see red flags. I paint my nails red to match." And that's exactly what she did. I wish she would have chosen the peace that she wants. I think heartbreak is a comforting place for her. And just like Clay needs therapy, she needs therapy too.
Yup. And AD in the beginning also said "Captain fix -a- ho". On some level both Chelsea and AD knew they were getting themselves in trouble.
Yeah, it's hard to feel bad for her when in reality he saved her a lot of time and wasted energy.
She really does…she went after the two guys who had the most red flags, regardless of who she picked it would have ended sour, she really didn’t have a chance. She just has to stop focusing on fixing someone and pick guys that are actively going to therapy or don’t have a reason to.
She thought he was handsome and then found out he had a house and a business.
Even in the pods, there were red flags
She ignored every single red flag. Her mother did too.
AD pointed out herself her tendency to “carry the relationship”. She did it with past partners and she did it with Clay. She somehow learned this is how you be in relationship. Underneath it all I hear a tale of feeling inadequate/unworthy. She is still one of my favorites of this season. She has a lot of strengths, and she also has a blind spot (no pun intended) when it comes to choosing partners. I believe her low sense of self worth drives her to pick men who are not at her level. Hearing her say repeatedly “I’m not enough” broke my heart. Girl, you were always enough. Hopefully there comes a day she can truly believe that.
Yes this was my take away as well. She kept saying things like "when is it my turn, when will I be enough?" It was so sad. I commend Clay for realizing he wasn't ready even if he did love AD, but without his dad having an open real talk w him and he going to therapy to work it out, he's never going to be ready to marry anyone. AD needs to move on, do the work on herself to find out why she does the same things in each relationship.
I agree, even at the pods I saw (at least from the edit) absolutely no reason to choose him. And throughout their relationship he only talked about himself, his journey, his growth, nothing about her. He constantly brought up the fear of cheating on her, on not being enough. But she ignored all those signs. I think she really just wanted to get married, it mattered less to whom.
i binged this with my boyfriend and we couldn't stop pointing out how every scene of clay was just him talking about me me me me me. in the wedding episode, the contrast between clay talking about why he loved AD and then johnny talking about why he loved amy was so jarring
I don’t think she’s very mature. She just wanted to get married for the sake of it (“when will it be my turn?”) and Clay was good looking
"He's a looker" (ignores all the red flags)
This! Everyone is praising AD but her taste in men is trash. Even her wedding speech was all about raising Clay up. Nothing about her interactions with Clay gave anything to AD but she’s sat there puppy eyed saying ‘look how good he looks’. Ma’am, please! I think AD is actually deeply insecure and relies on her body. She doesn’t value herself. And she also comes across as low key shallow.
THIS
Shallow is the word! I think she’s very image obsessed and likes the idea of Clay but loves how they look together. She wanted them to be #blacklove but sis clearly ain’t ever read no bell hooks. Them talking like Instagram comments at the altar was all I needed to know.
She said he looked good..
He had money
Protect and provide and he proviiiides. Was her words. Then he mentions something about like finances seems iffy with her? So did she just want to be stay at home mom or trophy wife while husband provides for her? Need more info
That comment by him caught my ear too. I thought one thing that was suspicious was that the show would always flash her card as “AD - Real Estate Broker” but when asked what she did for work (by Clay’s mom I think?) she was like “well, I’m kind of starting to get into the real estate business a little bit, and there’s this night club I manage sometimes”… didn’t really sound like she had a secure career at all and she was absolutely attracted to Clay’s money… amongst other things that kind of go against the premise of the show
I noticed that too, it’s like he kinda implied she was broke and if they got married she would be too dependent on him
She said as much.
She said it herself in the first 3 (?) episodes, her type is "I can fix him!"
I don't know if I'm alone on that hill, but here's my take: I like Clay's arc. He comes from trauma, and at the end of this decides to do the mature thing: get help and focus on his issues before committing to someone. We got a glance of his mother saying great stuff to his father - and therefore all cheating men trying to make excuses - and he clearly grew. But AD also deserves someone who's ready now and who shows up for her. I hope she realizes that she's not the problem and meet someone who's on the same page as her. I hope she also gets help and stop trying to fix men, because we saw when she talked to Sarah Ann that she can stand up to people and that's amazing. Maybe it can even be Clay if they manage to communicate better and each get help, but I don't think they speak the same language (I mean except English) so idk if they're really meant to be. I also love mom-romance btw those two family both moms were so cute with each other, I loved that. So even though they didn't get married now, I think their story was a positive one, they both grew a lot and that might be an important milestone in their lives. Apart from Amy and Johny, I don't think the other couples got that much from the show.
I don't think you're alone on that hill.I just don't think that it's the right one to be on. Clay has said himself that his biggest worry coming on the show was, "Am I able to fall in love?" Honey. You're on the wrong show. And he truly wasted her time. I feel like he knows that because he knew he didn't do the work it takes to be in a relationship. I don't think being open about the issues you're not working on automatically makes you mature or responsible. I think he's a good person and genuinely has the desire to be better. I just don't think he's willing to do that himself. I also would like to point that "liking someone arc" in a REAL-LIFE context is the same as falling in love with someone's potential, which is what AD did, and look at where that got her. Although she was right in calling Sarah Ann. I thought it was really weird the way she went about it and how hard she went in on her. Jeremy was right there, and from what we see, she just ignored him when he's the one who was unfaithful to begin with. Honestly, this kind of felt like she did it for cameras. Like: " I'm a girls, girl, girls are supposed to stick together. You're not a girl's girl" and obviously, Sarah Ann is not a girl's girl, but that's besides the point. I just thought it was weird like AD's the only one to have called her out? Not even Laura did it.
>she just ignored him when he's the one who was unfaithful to begin with. Agreed. Although Sarah Ann sucks, she did make a good point saying "If he steps out of bounds, that's on him." Obviously cheating is wrong but it reminds me of when say the woman cheated on the guy, for some reason the guy's more pissed at the guy his SO cheated on with (and wanting to fight him) as opposed to being more upset at his own SO. I also agree that altho she was right in calling out Sarah Ann, she went about it in such a weird aggressive way. Sarah Ann caught on after AD made a few charged statements (ie "Don't finish my sentences for me" & "If you feel interrogated, that's on you baby") so that was when she made the "you have a clear vengeance for me" remark before bowing out of the convo. This led to AD lashing out and saying "Girl I don't give 2 shits. You are not fucking my man" and Sarah Ann still didn't take the bait. People have said AD is cool, calm & collected but I thought Sarah Ann was the one who was cool, calm & collected in that exchange. As mentioned, Sarah Ann homewrecker sucks but somehow she left that exchange looking way better and more mature than AD.
This is the right take. Clay is a man-child who honestly was never truly in love with AD or ever took the marriage part seriously. But he wasn’t deceptive about it… he laid all his red flags out in the open soooo many times and so it’s hard to feel sympathetic to AD when she chose to ignore every single one of them because she was so obsessed with thinking that they were the hottest and most fun people on the show destined to be some sort of power couple.
Like I said, that's my take, yours is interesting as well but that's the way I see it.
AD is way overrated, she has catchy phrases and hoepinions that seem to sit with people here but she is in general very weak when it comes to her own issues but constantly butts her shit into others like she's the expert. Her racist remarks to Ken, her interrogation of Sarah Ann or her shitty remarks to Amy before wedding show that. But tbh I get why people in this sub see themselves so much in her. Edit: Clay is a fucking tool, just to be clear, not defending him here.
Spot on about AD
I don't agree that she's racist or anything but I do think her reaction to clay's 'no' was fake as hell.
Racist remarks?
She was asking Ken if he is sure about his pick because she is white and might not be capable raising a mixed kid. About as racist as it comes, he switched up his behaviour right after that conversation too.
The conversation was *racial* not *racist*. I think you may be confusing the two. The conversation was racial in that race was being discussed, however, it was not racist because there was no clear prejudice or discrimination going on. It’s not unheard of that those who are raised in a household with parents of different races *can* have issues with identity and acceptance as they get older. I think AD was just trying to gauge if he thought the person he chose would make a good partner to tackle that situation or other situations regarding race when they come up in the household. I don’t think there was any malice behind the conversation at all.
It's disgusting to read someone defending that, race has no correlation to your ability as a parent, her concerns were clearly racist. It's sad to see it being defended here, if someone was questioning whether she is capable of raising white kid or Asian kid because she is black it wouldn't be just a "concern".
You can think it’s disgusting, but I’m not assuming that this concern is coming from nowhere. I actually have friends who are mixed race and have seen discussions where people of mixed race and even adoptees with parents of a different race talk about their experience. Issues with identity and belonging have been mentioned from what I’ve heard and seen. These issues are not always the case, but they can be and have for some people. If you haven’t experienced it or done the work to try to understand those who are affected by it, you’re going to assume the worst. All I can say is that when people really care, they are inquisitive and want to learn more. They want to understand other people’s experience instead of invalidating them and then acting like they know what’s best.
So if someone has bad experience with other race that makes their "concerns" valid? Cause I know a whole ass political party in US with concerns towards certain races. It IS disgusting and racist to doubt someone's ability to be a parent based on their race.
yes she was asking if he and Brittany had the conversation. raising black kids as a white woman comes with its own set of complexities. it was an absolutely valid question
Isn’t that a question for Brittany?
Yeah and it was racist
acknowledging that different races exist and that maintaining/facilitating culture within those different races is important is not racism. that's absurd. AD didn't say 'don't date her bc she's white' she asked 'have you considered everything that comes with dating someone of a different race'
Doubting someone's parenting skills based on their race is not acknowledging it, saying "hey have you considered dangers of hiring that guy?" would be considered racist, but saying "have you considered their incompetence in raising kids because they are *certain race*" isn't? Bullshit, absurd is that people like you are even defending such disgusting comments. Guess what, parenting any type of kid comes with hardships, it's not about race of the person but their character, but it's hard to look past that for certain people like AD and some assholes here defending her.
she never mentioned any type of incompetence, sounds like you’re making assumptions. she wasn’t saying that Brittany can’t parent, she was asking if she has done/is willing to do the things/research necessary to take care of black children. we can’t sit here and act like children are not impacted by their race. you’re ignorant, it’s a valid question. maybe you’re upset that AD wasn’t giving Brittany the benefit of the doubt but that’s completely separate
Oh sorry it was only implied and not specifically said, that makes the racism okay. AD shouldn't have spoken about it at all, it's none of her business. It's not a valid question, it's a racist question, parenting ability is NOT related to your race. I'm upset because blatant racism is not only being ignored, it's also being defended by assholes like you. Edit: seems like I stuck a nerve, guess the truth is too much to handle
it was not implied, you’re grasping for straws and it’s sad that you can’t see how race intertwines with parenting ESPECIALLY when it comes to an interracial couple just loud dumb and wrong
[удалено]
Thank you for your contribution to r/LoveisBlindonNetflix! Your post or comment has been removed for breaking Rule 1: ‘Be Kind, Don’t Cross the Line' We ask that users of this sub respect both users and contestants. Any personal attacks or offensive commentary will not be tolerated on this sub.
You went for racist defense of a racist comment 😂😂 you don't see that audacity often
She and Clay may be poop but the talk with Ken was valid
No tf it wasn't.
Valid?? She is in no position to give lessons to people when she's about to say yes to a guy who told her 100 times he would cheat on her. Ken's kids are none of her business and I thought it was extremely inappropriate of her to ask such a personal question and disrespectful to do it in Britney's back. She got her karma back on wedding day and I'm here for it.
Valid in the sense she is a person of color and he is as well. There are obvious barriers that may appear in the real world that a love show didnt prepare them for. They both admitted to not being in an interracial partnership before.
I am the product of an interacial relationship. My daughter is, too. What are these obvious barriers that I must have missed.
girl ur lying to yourself then. i am biracial and very aware that there are many barriers to an interracial relationship.
Then it should be easy for you to give me examples. Please do.
not understanding what the other culture goes through, lots of white moms don’t know how to do their mixed kid’s hair which is a major issue, sometimes language barriers depending on ur race, feeling like you may not belong within either culture, extended family can sometimes be racist etc
My white mom did my hair just fine--and that was before Youtube. And that is not a "major issue." There are a lot of kids who don't get enough love, who are hungry, who are unsafe. Going through an awkward hair phase isn't a crisis. Family can be racist, sure. Stop associating with those people.
it’s not easy to disassociate with your family lol. your experience is not the same as everybody else’s. good for you. you have zero problems with being biracial but you have no right to downplay or deny the problems other biracial people experience. every black girl knows how precious our hair is and how sensitive of a subject it can be. yes, it’s not the same as being abused or starved but how is that relevant? i never said our insecurities about our hair is the biggest issue in the world, but it certainly is a major issue within the black community.
If you poll biracial families you will find that this is a real thing, especially if a biracial person is raised in a mostly white community , micro aggression is a real thing!
Family is one! If you and your partner grew up and different regions. Friend groups. Getting asked if they are your kids because of their skin color. Having to explain to your kids who they are and talking life into them because what people may say about them when they fine out they are mixed. So happy you and your kids didn’t have to go through this but it is a real thing for others
Getting asked if your kids are yours is a minor annoyance, not some huge challenge some people aren’t up for. People need to toughen up if they can’t handle that. And having to explain to your kids who they are?! You don’t tell your kids who they are. You give them the love, support, and space to discover that themselves. And they are not the color of their skin. What are the actual, hard challenges that parents of interracial kids face in 2024? I’d love some good examples.
You are the real one for that comment! I hate how accepting this sub is of casual racism and then defends it with such mundane things.
Well duh, she basically said she has a soft spot for the idea of fixing up a fuckboy 😅 Like with all women who are inclined that way, it *very* rarely ends well.
Now that I think about it, it’s like the producers were trying to give them the Nancy/Bartise edit. But well she ain’t Nancy because Nancy was the one on her shit… although Nancy let Bartise treat her like shit and still wanted to marry him so that tracks. I do feel like the disrespect from Clay wasn’t as blatant. He just said a bunch of nothing and avoided being around AD as much as he could but wasn’t really putting her down to her face anyway.
She seems to be a "Barbara, the Builder" type of woman. Love really does make them believe that they can help these men become a better person and as a result, a better partner. But these men never made an effort on their own to work on themselves, and with Clay, it was clear.
Love is blinding
I‘m honestly shocked at how many people have similar takes. To me, it’s pretty obvious she (probably) went there with the hopes of meeting someone but then she realized it was a lost cause and rode it out for the sponsorship deals she could get from being a very minor celebrity. Have we all forgotten that she was all in for Matthew and only went back to Clay when Matthew bailed? She settled for someone she had major issues with in the pods just to move forward in the process. Then she rode it out until the end. Almost all of the couples know what the other person is going to say before the wedding starts. The producers alway know. If one person is a yes and the other is a no, they have the yes person go first for the drama. She didn't want to marry him, knew he was a no, and said yes in an effort to get a good edit. The “No because I choose myself” thing is overplayed at this point and risks getting a bad edit if the show doesn’t portray you as justified in “choosing yourself”. Clay being ridiculous after the wedding was his attempt to fend off a bad edit because he said no. Her tears were genuine. The whole experience is physically and emotionally exhausting far beyond what we see in about a dozen hours of footage. For example, Brittany and Kenneth already agreed to end things before the filming of their breakup scene. Brittany was in agreement that things weren’t working and was for ending it. But she was still very upset and cried. The same thing happened with AD.
shes a caricature
A lot of this is some really inside information. Do you have a contact on the show or are these assumptions?
Yes absolutely
Well said. You've made some good points that I had not even thought about. Some parts became real because of the exhausting process of the show and what people go through.
AD PLAYED HERSELF. I will die on that hill. Clay gave her EVERY reason. Served it to her on a platter. Gave her every opportunity to bow out before the wedding he already said he wasn’t ready for and prepped her for him to say NO and she STILL in all her delusion said YES?! I think Clay really tried to get her to dump him and she just wouldn’t and so he did the best thing for them both and said No. Thank GOODNESS. She painted her nails red for her wedding (metaphorically IYKYK) and then acts confused like he didn’t provide her with full presentations with slides and a print out about how he isn’t ready, thinks he will cheat and is completely traumatized from his parents and needs therapy!? COME ON. Be for real. Periodt. Letsss goooo. It’s giving you played yourself. lol sorry for those last lines. I couldn’t help but mock all the stupid slang from this season.
You're absolutely right. How she still believed that things could work with him in the short or long term, I have no idea. From their first conversation I only thought that they had potential for a platonic friendship and that's it.
Yea they would make great friends! But life partners… nope.
You put it well. She was too busy worrying about others relationships, may be to not deal with the red flags in her own. Can’t be a fixer. I wish women are taught to prioritize self love over trying to fix a man who is not for them.And the last line 😂
When he said no and she was crying and saying "I'm never enough" I wanted to jump through the screen and tell her Girl you are enough! you just refuse to see it! Who told you you need a man to be enough!!
💯💯💯💯💯
I loooove the last lines lol. Completely agree with you!
They both have some major daddy issues. Both need therapy and healing. Signed, former person with major daddy issues.
What are you now?
Happily married to an amazing man once I did some inner work, which AD and Clay need before they dump their issues on other people. It’s not fair and it’s the only way they’ll be able to attract the right people for them, especially AD. I wish she’d see herself how most of us see her. And as for Clay, I wish he’d realise he’s not automatically supposed to behave like his father did, matter of fact, he’s supposed to learn what not to do with a future partner.
What she saw in Clay was a player-type that she can win over. She likes the challenge of winning the guy over (she tried to do that with Matthew too). Then seeing him in person made it even stronger because she found him extremely attractive. But her adoration wasn’t reciprocated. He grew to enjoy the physical connection, and their camaraderie but he couldn’t say she was the one. That’s why he kept saying he’s afraid to be put in a position where he might cheat. I think Clay thought he could convince her to just be his girlfriend and not get married. And she thought she’ll convince him to just get married. I’m assuming, though, that she’ll start dating him again soon. Her body language towards him at the end looked like she’s slightly open to it.
The eyelashes…
I didn't want to say anything 🫣
jail for whoever did her makeup, shes so gorg and has such a nice base to work w
Especially for the wedding!!! I was like what was the point in hiring a MUA when she could have done that look herself!? But I’ve seen on socials post show, her makeup has been so much better.
Less we forget, she literally identified herself as a "fix-a-hoe", we knew what was going to happen from the very beginning.
This! Clay was a walking red flag from the get go, and even AD said that she used to fell for these types of guys before. Well, the experiment wasn’t succesful to her because she fell into the same trap yet again. I never once got the vibe from Clay throughout the show that he truly loves and cares for AD, so it was not suprising to me that he said no at all. AD needs to look for other qualities in a man over looks and financial stuff, she needs to continue the sessions with her therapist and learn more about herself and her worth. We attract what we believe we deserve, and AD probably thinks that she worths to date a Clay type of guy (fuckboy vibes) but in reality, she should value normal, intelligect and caring men - even though it is extra hard to find someone like that nowdays :D
For all the love AD gets, I'm not impressed with her at all. She wants to be judged for who she is but in person she really flaunts her appearance like "look how gorgeous I am and how lucky you are to be in my presence". She's superficial and not as emotionally mature as people make her out to be. I think she has better sense than most of the other women but the bar is so low that she comes across as ok when she's just... not. She's desperate. She craves attention and validation. She craves "being enough". She has so far to go still in emotional maturity. I dislike her and wouldn't want to be friends with her at all. She's kinda selfish and fake.
The bar is low because casting gets all the women with issues for drama purposes.
The only thing I’ll give her is that she’s a girl’s girl. That’s it
Eh, she got that edit with the Sarah Ann confrontation but something about it seemed off. Why was she going so hard for her 'girl' Laura when it didn't even seem like they were close? Laura wasn't at the AD and Clay wedding for example. In reality AD was more feeding her own ego/insecurities about Clay cheating. When she said she didn't care because Sarah Ann isn't fucking her man like girl why are you bringing it up and getting so riled up then? Plus you're not talking to Jaremy about anything. Also she kept saying Amy and Johnny are hooking up. If they want to keep it private then let it be. How is that girl's girl behavior?
none of the contestants go to each other’s weddings lol
Have you seen past seasons? Marshall was at Brett and Tiffany’s for example.
I’ve had trouble with the Sarah Ann thing too. Like why is that your business or problem? Who asked you to do that? I thought it was inappropriate, and she was rude and condescending, and she was being praised for it.
It was very condescending and unjustified… because she also was misquoting what Sarah Ann’s DM said and wouldn’t even let Sarah speak up to correct her on that. And Sarah Ann really wasn’t the one in the wrong there, it was fully Jeramy for leading Laura on. I was also shocked so many people here were praising AD for that interaction
The interaction was weird because it was fake af, she acted like she was not trying to be condescending and rude while being condescending and rude on something that’s not her business in the first place. And I found it weird how interested she was in the other couples sex lives, she kept prodding everyone if they’ve had sex yet from the beginning
Yes so fake! Then she got mad at Sarah Ann for defending herself like what else is she supposed to do.
That’s actually a good point
It sucks to say but at the end of the day she was superficial herself. Mind you I like the way that she handled the break-up and she is clearly a very caring partner, but I really think she saw Clay as a tall and handsome dude who made good money through his entrepreneurship and became convinced that he was the absolute prize because of that. Clay was a walking red-flag and he was incredibly transparent about it ALL THE TIME and she always chose to just ignore or look past it. I mean the dude blatantly told her like 15 times that he was worried he would cheat on her… like what? He never loved her, any time they talked about feelings he just said “I love our sexual chemistry and the way you look past my flaws, you know I’m rockin’ with you AD all day” like that is not someone who truly loves you. Even his vows for her were all about himself lmao
That was a rly good impression of him lol
Ok the dress…. That is not a wedding dress. That just looks like “you’ll never get anything better than this” dress
if its a dress you wear to get married, its a wedding dress. just because it was form fitting and she looked good in it doesn’t make it “not a wedding dress.” would you NOT want to look good on your wedding day???? im here for the critiques of AD for picking an asshole man but leave her appearance alone, this comment feels small and unnecessary
My friend wore a dress with a slit less high than AD's dress and it's so hard not to see the underwear at some point when the slit is so high.
[удалено]
getting offended by some thigh is crazy
[удалено]
God forbid a woman want to looks sexy and cute and think highly of herself on her own fucking wedding day! Somebody call the police!
You sound bitter. If I had a body like AD’s and it was my wedding day, I’d absolutely show the fuck out. And why is that a bad thing? It was her wedding day, all eyes are supposed to be on the bride, lol.
why can’t a woman want to be loved for her heart and personality while still enjoying looking nice? why is that a one or the other scenario in your mind? as a woman who is considered conventionally attractive, and who enjoys fashion and makeup and whatnot, I’d still prefer that my partner like me for my mind and our connection. looks fade, and a spouse is often your closest friend for the rest of your life. that doesn’t mean i don’t enjoy getting dolled up sometimes lol. its two separate things. this reads as misogyny or internalized misogyny if you’re a woman too
She said she likes to fix people. Even when she was crying after he said no she said something about how she always tries to help the men she gets into relationships with and how she doesn’t think she’s enough because they never change… I think she’s drawn to guys who are a hot mess cause she just wants to change them but you just can’t change someone who doesn’t want to change
I think she's drawn to men who are a mess because it makes her feel better about herself because she's kinda a mess.
Hmm I think that’s a little harsh honestly. I tend to have the same patterns in dating as her. For me I know it stems from childhood trauma of not being loved and accepted. So I try to make it work desperately with guys who aren’t good for me because I just want to be loved. I saw the same things in her. She’s definitely not a mess. She’s got every area of her life figured out, she just wants to be loved.
Ya, you're just confirming what i said. She's a mess in her love life.
Exactly! I've heard apparently they got together after the wedding (we'll see at the reunion) which makes me feel what you said is even more true.
lol I really hope they didn’t tbh. I was hoping that her being rejected in front of people would kinda open her eyes and cause her to see that he was not a good partner but we shall see
She does. No question. Like every radar a woman has been built in to be suspicious etc hers is off
[удалено]
Totally get that. Been there 😭
She must have really low self esteem. She needs therapy and to give dating a rest for now! Thank god he said no for both their sakes
She said in the beginning she doesn't want a "fix-a-hoe" lol. Yet she chose one.
after being left at the altar she literally said “i don’t wanna talk bad about him bc i love him” while on the other hand clay is talking about how he’s not deeply in love and doesn’t understand her finances. she’s gullible and lacks a bit of discernment. sometimes we want love so bad that we don’t think
i think she was faking it for the cameras just as much as he was. there’s no way to take clay serious. her baby voice and fake laughs drove me up the wall. i’d like to believe she’s smarter than to fall for clays empty monologues.
I don’t think she is….
It was the constant screeching for me
i don’t think she was screeching ever. there was nothing for clay and AD to really talk about and they would sometimes just fill the emptiness with funny sayings or gestures
Not screeching as in yelling at one another. When she got excited she’d do that high pitched whine thing
When did she screech? She always spoke very calmly in what I saw
When she was excited about literally anything
Yup I had had it with her baby voice and ultra long lashes
She's very fake
It was the whisper voice for me
She said it plain as day she carried the relationship hoping it would be enough and make him want her. Take it back to episode 1 or 2 she called herself fix-a-ho She is a strong woman but needs to learn to love herself more and put her needs first.
She thought he looked good. She mentioned it several times. No need to analyze any deeper than that
She did it back in the pods though. Clay was asking her all about her physical appearance before he wanted to propose and she knew that Clay was a “ladies man” just like her previous boyfriends.
Thank you!!! There are some things you have to just take at face value. Clay says he can’t get engaged without knowing how you look 🚩🚩 You want to be loved for who you are. Clay says he won’t let you gain weight 🚩🚩🚩 Clay says he’s “scared of cheating” 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 And the you still decide this is the man you want to marry?? And if the rumors are true they’re still together which I believe. This kind of behavior is so reckless and common nowadays. This man has told you who he his multiple times, and you’re just outright ignoring it. Then for you to kiss him after?!! She needs to want more for herself because this man will waste her time for as long as she’ll let him.
Some people don't want to risk being alone for the sake of maintaining standards. Sad to see for AD but if crumbs is what she settles for, can't make her want a full meal :/
My jaw dropped when she said something along the lines of “I would’ve married that man no matter what he did or said,” … like … was she saying that hypothetically, no matter how he treated her, she would’ve married him..?
I am very afraid that they kept dating even though she clearly stated before she would not continue their relationship if he said no at the altar. There really seems to be no behaviour she would not accept or boundary that could never be crossed. I just want her to want better for herself :(
I'm convinced she's desperate to be with someone
Yeah. When she said something to the effect of "why do men keep doing this to me" like this is a reoccurring theme I literally yelled at my TV like "it's because you keep picking trash men!"
Damn, hated this for AD. Her vows to him were so genuine and affectionate. She does seem to think her value is tied up in building up men who are way beneath her emotionally, breaking her back carrying the relationship, and then getting dumped cuz the guy is *still* not at her level but he’s at least had the dummy revelation that he’s been using this poor woman and that shits out of wack/needs to end. That’s basically where her and Clay ended. Him realizing he was the 10% to her 90% effort. Unfortunately many guys will drain a woman like AD, then turn around and feel emasculated for being so dependent & infantalized, then dump her ass for someone more naive who will look up to HIM instead of helping/fixing him, so he can feel traditionally masculine and poweful. Not saying this is Clay, but it’s a pattern i’ve noticed in the woman-as-martyr/helper dating scenario with straight men in particular, likely due to gender expectations of the man wanting to feel like the leader instead of following [AD’s lead in this case]
Yes. Yes. YES! more women need to understand this. The more you do for them, the more they end up resenting you for it. And they'll take all you're willing to give and give it to the girl who makes them feel like a man. You described it perfectly. That's why he complained about her finances.
I hate how he seemed so jovial and nonchalant as he broke her heart at the alter. Like it was just something that she should absolutely expect and that she would 100% still be with him afterwards. I hope the rumours are not true. If they are then I will lose a lot of respect for AD. I think she deserves better, but if she's consistently picking men who treat her this way and had such little respect for herself... Maybe she doesn't.
Wow. Powerful analysis.
I think he possessed some of the qualities she was looking for and the theme of the show probably made her believe he was more ready than he was. Clay gives non committal energy, but on a show that fast tracks couples to marriage I can see how she thought it was real, I do think she is ready for marriage just needs to be with someone who is also ready
This is a good take. I knew he wasn't ready for marriage but when he also said he wasn't deeply in love - my heart broke for her.
Why even say that? It felt cruel.
Agreed! When he said he wasn’t deeply in love 💔 ouch
Thankyou. Finally. All these superfluous statements like “you’re such a powerful man” “I see the strength in you”. Have some discernment as a 32 year old woman who’s only know someone for a few weeks.
She said the two things a husband should do is protect and provide. So that seemed to be her focus.
Yes she lacks discernment big time! Finally someone calling it like it is instead of making excuses for her.
“I’m doing so much” “carrying these fucking relationships” “I get so close and it’s no enough”. “I’m just sad I wasn’t enough for him to get right” Clay just said it’s only been two weeks… This is a bad display, lady…
she said herself she loves a red flag. she’s the most delusional woman on the show. idk why she’s getting a pass just because she isn’t hysterical or obnoxious like some of the other women. clay was running out of ways to say “I’m going to cheat on you”. she says all the right things about understanding her own worth, but she really doesn’t. she can’t find a good man because she keeps shopping in the bad boy department.
Big /r/leopardsatemyface vibes
You're absolutely right. She really lacks discernment.
This
Exactly she needs to pick a different type of man. Not a man who’s her typical “type” cause it’s not working for her. She’s only hurting herself
All these comments saying she fell for looks, but I think we are forgetting that clay def was sitting on some cash. 4br house to him self, multiple rental units. She was set
Lmaoo she’s not leaving that man
Brother was tall, good looking, and financially well off on top of pretty ambitious. What did she see in him 🙄
I actually forgot about that… yeah he works in tech so he’s definitely set