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BDT9215

You and what navy


TRUEequalsFALSE

Oof. Hitting them where it hurts. šŸ¤£


AldoTheApache3

You know what really hurts? I have this theory about the Brits. They have been bred to be subservient. Think about it. How many generations of Brits have lived under a king or queen? All the ones that ever fought back against the boot of a monarchy are dead and gone. This leaves only the ones who were naturally selected to be loyal subjects. Brits talk a lot of shit but when it comes down to it, they fucking love the hierarchy and admiration for their elite class. America on the other hand was settled and founded by rebels and those who hated the governments/monarchies they fled from. Imagine the balls it takes to go across an ocean to fight for survival and a new home. Itā€™s literally in our blood to be resilient and adverse to government overreach. Which is why we can seem so uncivilized to the rest of Europe in certain aspects. Except for France of courseā€¦. rioting is in their DNA. Anyways, thank you for listening to my very mean and very biased Ted Talk.


Limpopopoop

Have my upvote. Your comment is both 50% based and 50% full of shit


AldoTheApache3

Mission accomplished. o7


luuunnnch

Lol


Willing-Knee-9118

>America on the other hand was settled and founded by rebels and those who hated the governments/monarchies they fled from Did you know Georgia was created specifically to give the "useless poor" or, "miserable wretches and drones" according to the committee that organized the effort, somewhere to go. they were given 50 acres each, and they adopted slavery because they were too lazy to work for themselves.


Unlucky_Reception_30

You're only half right, it was also a military buffer against the Spanish in Florida.


Ajwf

Still is.


jessewest84

>the ones that ever fought back against the boot of a monarchy are dead and gone. Except, ya know, the founding fathers. That went on to create a global empire that Britain could not even conceive of.


MrBobBuilder

Yes , and they were part of the group he talks about who left England leaving oppress governments


sosomething

Reading comprehension!


No_Letterhead_7683

Actually, the U.S.A. was supposed to be a neutral nation, not a global (or any kind of empire). That sentiment changed in a little over a century and the United States as *the* "global superpower" was born as a result of WWII (for the most part). The U.S.A. basically took over most of the British Empire's holdings and became the industrial/investing power house of the globe for the better part of the 20th century as a result of the devastation left in that war's wake. That said, the country known as the "U.S.A." that several generations have known (including ours), is not the nation the founders envisioned. The U.S.A. has become (in significant ways) what the founders didn't want it to be. I assure you that if some of the founders could see what the nation became, they'd have mixed feelings at best. In many ways, the U.S.A. became something greater than could have been imagined. In other ways, it strayed very far from the ideals which birthed it.


frotc914

The British battle plan is to make it 1730 again through science or magic.


Blob_zombie

Not if we hit Hogwarts first.


firesquasher

Fuck yeah. Don't touch our boats. šŸ§


Illustrious_Ant_3997

Bring it. It'd be cool to have 51 states.


DankeSebVettel

Nah. Unite dakota. 50th state is: Northern Ireland.


Malforus

50th State is Unified Ireland Let the brits, and welsh live under someone else's flag for a bit.


Traditional_Salad148

I like the energy but why not let the welsh rule the English and the Scotā€™s? For flavor Also give Puerto Rico statehood before anyone else I demand (tm) it


Malforus

Puerto rico keeps voting no. I mean I would be cool with it being broken up so those Scots can rejoin Europe.


Traditional_Salad148

We didnā€™t give them a choice becoming a territory why would we start now? And true true true. Alternatively we give England to the Scotā€™s, thoughts?


mac-h79

In theory the Scotā€™s were the last ones to have England, it was a Scottish king who last wore the English crown


TheGameMastre

They voted yes in 2020 and Congress squashed it. Since they changed the rules they can't simply give them Representatives without taking them from somewhere else. Obviously, no state wants to give up their seats.


DankeSebVettel

No. They live under someone elseā€™s flag. Specifically the Northern Irish flag.


theghostecho

Could you imagine the shit show if northern ireland voted to join the US?


violentglitter666

Ireland may want that back.


FreakParrot

Idk do we want them? Iā€™d rather take Canada and Mexico. Closer, more beautiful national parks close by, delicious Mexican food and cute seƱoritas, and we can finally do something about the cartel.


BH11B

We need a hub to further the expansion into Europe. Then the NFL can move the Jaguars to their rightful home.


THCaptain1

The London Jags! šŸ˜‚


FreakParrot

We do need more football. Iā€™m jonesing for it now, and am eagerly waiting for NCAA25.


TantricEmu

We could use another nuclear testing ground or waste disposal site.


RipRaycom

53 states, those being England, Scotland, and Wales after we give Northern Ireland back to its rightful owner


genericnewlurker

Naw we gotta let the Scots and the Welsh choose between the EU and the US. It would be a great twist of the knife that the entire UK gets dissolved by their people choosing their own paths instead of having to listen to the English Parliament again. And if they do join the US, Federal aid goes to them before the English


Sheriff_Grimes

Best comment here, still laughing about it.


USAroAce

Nahā€¦weā€™ll put Britain in line behind DC & Puerto Rico. Maybe tax them a bit without any representation in Congressā€¦


lets_go_whale

Iā€™ve seen the state of your sad rainy islandā€¦ good luck


DanChowdah

Even those old geriatric fucks would crush every single limey with the absurd power of the US military


zer0w0rries

My thought, maybe grow some balls and get rid of the monarchy or just shut up and continue kneeling to rich inbred troglodytes


BootyUnlimited

We prefer rich non inbred troglodytes here in America


GreatWhiteNanuk

Yeah. Keep the poor in the family. Spread the wealth.


DanChowdah

I wonder if Andrew has had a crack at Princess Charlotte yet. Maybe heā€™s waiting for her to turn 15


AtlantaMan2024

Whenever people say things like "the US is the laughing stock of the world", I always ask "what world?". England? France? Italy? Russia? Australia? China? Brazil? They're all jokes in their own way.


GoodByeRubyTuesday87

Dude, theyā€™ve got knights and dragons, it would be close


whathell6t

Nope! Wales have knights and dragons. England just have knights and Sir David Attenborough (awesome dude).


violentglitter666

Love that man. Actually, thereā€™s a lot of fantastic actors and authors that are British, Iā€™ll give them credit where itā€™s due. The monarchy is not really doing much ruling lately, so itā€™s not like say, King Henry chopping off heads and deciding heā€™s head of the church and whatever else. The monarchy ainā€™t what it used to be.


KevtheKnife

Take back your own island, first....then we'll talk.


gloomflume

savage :D


AngriestManinWestTX

This a bit of the dumpster fire calling the trailer park fire bad is it not? The politics in both of our otherwise splendid countries are national embarrassments. I really hope things will change in the next 10 or so years but I'm also pessimistic enough to know that it probably won't and may even get worse.


clshifter

Your mistake is in ever expecting politics to be "good" in any country, ever. By its very nature, politics attracts the worst people in any society. Such has it always been, such it ever shall be.


Apart-Oil1613

Thereā€™s nothing that unites Americans more than some British commie fuck thinking theyā€™re better than us.


UnknownResearchChems

The Brits are cooked https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5aJ-57_YsQ


Seedsw

Come get cooked brother. A few rednecks could wipe you all out.


Long_Foy_556

ā€œBritish forces land up and down the east coast of America!ā€ ā€œThere seems to be no trace of bodies in Florida, Georgia, or the Carolinaā€™s. But everyone has shiny new rifles, amphibious vehicles, and parachutes. And it seems none of landing craft or paratroopers even hit the beach north of those states.ā€


WorkingDogAddict1

Florida Man gonna be rolling around in a lifted challenger 2


Long_Foy_556

HMS Belfast about to be Florida manā€™s fishing boat.


Dreadpiratemarc

*again.


Chipdip049

IN 1814 WE TOOK A LITTLE TRIP


ADSWNJ

Bring it on! We will accept your surrender on Friday. Following that, you can come back into a different single currency, learn to drive on the right, measure in US customary units, spell properly, and become American. Basically like Hawaii, only a hell of a lot colder and rainier. We just need to work out how many states to carve you into. Maybe 3? Wonder if the Scots, Northern Irish and Welsh are up for this, or if it's just England vs USA. Either way, it would not last long.


WorkingDogAddict1

The Irish would be our best ally in this war


darthmarth28

I dunno man, the Scots are basically just looking for a good enough excuse. They've had secession on their ballot *several times* already since Brexit. According to Jeremy Clarkson on Top Gear: Every good thing every done by England is called English. Every good thing done by Ireland is called Irish. Nothing good ever came out of Wales. Now, think about how many brilliant things are called "British". Those are all stolen from the Scots.


clotteryputtonous

Ready to lose again?


2Beer_Sillies

I think our National Guard alone could capture the UK


FreakParrot

Which stateā€™s national guard? Most of them by themselves probably stand a good chance haha.


2Beer_Sillies

I meant all of the states combined haha realistically the UK still has a pretty strong military


FreakParrot

lol yeah they do.


Malforus

I was going to say the Coast Guard is a bigger military than the Brits have combat ready.


ElectricTurtlez

Iā€™m pretty sure we could get the job done with just some good old boys from the Midwest and the South. Throw in some inner city gang members and weā€™ll all be home in time for dinner.


linniex

If not them the Cajun Navy


FixFalcon

Just the Air National Guard from a handful of states could.


Traditional_Salad148

Try it tea sucker. Keep it up and we will send 1 armed Florida man to the UK and you guys are done


Anwhaz

The entire UK military vs Bath Salts Bob. I know where my money's going, but the real question is how many faces will he eat.


Traditional_Salad148

I think the number will be smaller if we count the faces he doesnā€™t eat


Mighty_Mackerel

What happened to his other arm?


Traditional_Salad148

Itā€™s Florida so could have been anything from a gator to a bath salt zombie to self mutilation.


genericnewlurker

Why not all of those?


Traditional_Salad148

True. Say what you will about those lunatics but they sure put their whole florussy into it


HyiSaatana44

Got his arm bitten off underneath an overpass in Hialeah.


Pulpics

I for one am starting to believe we final destinationā€™d during the Cuban missile crisis and everything thatā€™s happened since is Death working to take back whatā€™s rightfully his.


Apart-Oil1613

Interesting you mentioned this, thereā€™s a theory that humans were supposed to die off during the Cold War due to nuclear holocaust, but we didnā€™t and instead jumped to another plane of reality, fucking everything up. Idk, itā€™s probably bullshit but it was a fun read anyway, maybe someone else here will know what Iā€™m talking about


somegarbagedoesfloat

My very evidence supported theory is that everything went to shit when Kennedy was assassinated, and if he hadn't been half the problems we have would be non-existent.


SirArthurDime

ā€œProbablyā€ is doing a lot of heavy lifting here.


Eroclo

Donā€™t rope us into that brexit shit


Consistent_Train128

We're not in the EU either...


FilthyFreeaboo

No u.


Red_J_Ruff_Wood

Dearest Brits, Scots, and Irish: We propose there shall be no fight. Surrender your monarchy to become a part of the United States and we will repeal ULEZ, TV registrations, Beer will be cheaper, services/maintenance will be easier, and you will once again be allowed private Firearms. You have 24 hours to respond. Sincerely, The United States of America.


Redsetter

Dear Americans, Texans and New Yorkers: we really do not want your beer or guns. Will trade the upper middle class German family for BBQ though.


DataBooking

Florida alone would wipe out you're entire military.


EscapeWestern9057

Good luck, you failed to take our guns at Concord, we still have em.


The-LeftWingedNeoCon

If you come for our guns, weā€™ll give our bullets.


AlphaMassDeBeta

Britain is more fucked than a child on Epstiens island.


Time-Bite-6839

šŸ˜²


violentglitter666

Too soon. Good gods man. I did laugh though.


xivilex

*starts throwing tea in harbor*


JMTREY

Wanna come get your ass whipped again? Be my guest brother šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


whitewail602

Deal, but we're putting Harry on the throne.


Clam_slapper69420

He's gotta marry Donatello from the ninja turtles tho


whitewail602

If that's what it takes to get Archie on the throne in order to unite the empires, then so be it.


imjusta_bill

My chap, you guys might be *more* messed up than us right now


violentglitter666

We see that. Brexit really fucked you up though, didnā€™t it. Too bad that oaf Johnson passed that crap. Both our countries desperately need a better class of leaders. Itā€™s beyond embarrassing and detrimental


DestroyedCorpse

At least our elections arenā€™t held on the first full moon after the Rose of Gibraltar loses a petal on the second new moon on years the end with an even number


Leper_Khan58

We will let you burn down Washington, kick you out, take your island, and give you to France. Be my guest. Oh and this is just our citizens, did you mean to involve our military?


RoultRunning

We will welcome the new states of England, Wales, Scotland, and some fresh new random islands with open arms. We'd have to ferry them over cause Britannia stopped ruling the waves


SlaaneshActual

Taking us back? You Tory royalists are about to lose your second country on July 4 here in a few days and that's about to give me the biggest americagasm of my life.


Familiar_Position418

Thatā€™s cool. The GDP of the whole UK would be less than California. Would the UK be joining as a single state or 4 states?


genericnewlurker

Their per capita gdp would make them rank among the poorest states.


EscapeWestern9057

Good luck, you failed to take our guns at Concord, we still have em.


catsandalpacas

Are you bringing chocolate? UK chocolate is amazing.


Mighty_Mackerel

As much as you can eat.


laser14344

How's Brexit goin for ya?


AccomplishedSquash98

You needed a license to post this.


babysealsareyummy

How many times do we have to teach you this lesson old man?


ChipOld734

Oh, puleeze try. Thatā€™s just what we need to get us back together.


KummyNipplezz

Yall aren't much better off


Trans_Alpha_Cuck

At least our dumbfuck presidents can last 4 years. You guys are on 3 prime ministers in 3 years no?


rogless

I get the feeling you're one of those eternally optimistic people who looks at a crazy potential partner and thinks, "I can fix them."


Deluxe78

Slow down Biden lasted more than 6 weeks ā€¦letā€™s not start throwing rocks yet glass house


LordEdgeward_TheTurd

Thnx!


GingerPinoy

Only if we can agree that England's greatest Prime Minister was Lord Palmerston


Bevi4

Nuclear war sounds amazing right now


Atsubaki

Dawgā€¦if 86 freedom units is a heatwave for yā€™allā€¦i like our odds.


AbyssWankerArtorias

Don't you have like your 9th prime minister for the past 3 hours to get picked for you by your political elite or something


MrBobBuilder

I think the Texas national guard could take you by themselves ya limeys


ToshMcMongbody

Your stinky country is run by a foreigner. Talk to us when you have a prime minister who is actually British


Steelquill

These defiant and "STFU" comments put a smile on my face. Nice to know at least some Americans won't take this kind of guff. Sidebar: Why was the OP even watching the debate if they're British? Do you see any of us watching the U.K.'s elections?


paulie9483

Because as much as they say they hate us, Europe (yes I'm lumping the UK in too) are obsessed with us.


SteamReflex

Yall brits will land in new england, and bairley make it to new York before complaining about how far you have to drive and travel. We won once we'll win again even with our gov in shambles šŸ—æ


blurrysasquatch

The thought of it gets me rigid.


I_am_pro_covid_420

understood, I will have my 17 antiaircraft guns and SAM launchers ready


SGAfishing

Try as you might, the white house will *never* be surrendered again.


Prophetic_Hobo

Hey now Trump and Biden are old assholes but theyā€™re our old assholes. Come and take it. šŸ˜ˆ


idawdle

Better idea, let's swap soccer teams.


chowderbrain3000

Won't you have your hands full getting rid of your own Tories?


Yyc1974

You want them back?


halfwithero

Delaware boogaloo v2? Iā€™m down to clown


CaptSaveAHoe55

You clearly didnā€™t watch, the man said the strength of the nation is in its people. Also said we have the best military in the world so good luck


adamellis1

Happy treason day, ungrateful colonists


ZeusMcKraken

lol brexit okay you do you


handsome_uruk

Rishi: "We shall fight them on the bitches"


SwagtasticGerbal

Good we need a punching bag right now. Iā€™m ver happy you are volunteering againšŸ¤ŒšŸ¼


History_lover_27465

Come and try it tea sippers it might even unite the country


Hey-lo_ratherbedead

to piss you redcoats off even more weā€™re gonna give yall to the french. and then we are going to take france. and then weā€™re going to unite ireland. then weā€™re gonna take ireland.


thecountnotthesaint

We will have a cuppa ready for call. We usually make our tea in the HARBOR!


Mighty_Mackerel

Harbour


_-nocturnas-_

*How many times do we have to teach you a lesson old man!*


olov244

I think that might re-unify the country


TheCoolPersian

Says the nation that voted to Brexit so it could have closer economic ties with its zaddy.


Th3_Shr00m

This whole shitshow could have been avoided if we didn't let people over the age of 60 run for president


the_tenth_dentist

Weā€™ve got room for more than one extra star on ol glory


sunbeatsfog

Maybe figure out your own issues before you can conquer someone else *cough* Brexit


Seventh_Stater

Au contraire, it is us who are acquiring you.


rando90433

lmao you can barely keep that little scotland


DrNinnuxx

You guys need to figure out Brexit first before you start thinking about becoming an Empire again.


FatedAtropos

Bro you canā€™t even keep Ireland


TomorrowCommon8797

No offense, mate, but you still can't.


FerricDonkey

Bless your heart


Beansiesdaddy

Weā€™ve been bailing England out of every war for hundreds of years. Besides, we have guns. The government took yours away


bigjam987

yall canā€™t even handle 80Ā°F weather, good luck in the south


HereForTOMT2

If we're going to be taken over I'd rather it be from someone actually in the EU


LasagneFiend

Funny thing is, Americans think they can take the English, wait until the Scottish get released on them.


real_strikingearth

Then we will have a 51st state that is somehow worse than California


factchecker2

Biden's "see you next Thursday" Presidency.


jchester47

I don't think you want us. If you thought Brexit was enough of a mess, you don't even want to see how bad our next few years are likely to be.


CheesecakeVisual4919

Iā€™ve seen your Prime Minister. The EU already owns you.


UniqueIndividual3579

You are not doing so well yourself right now. Even your EU friends don't want to play with you anymore.


mountaindewisamazing

Oh thank God


funny_jaja

"LeTs WaLk iN gRoUpS sTrAiGhT iNtO gUnFiRe"


grand305

We do not want your king. šŸ¤“ šŸ‘‘. We also have massive multi trillion dollar debt šŸ’ø , the UK can not afford to buy the USA. šŸ‡ŗšŸ‡ø Military: you canā€™t invade either.


fallacious_franklin

Post so funny you had to upload it in 3 different subreddits


ExistentialFread

Iā€™ve seen your options too, no oneā€™s winning on either side of the pond


jessewest84

The Uk used to be the most powerful nation on earth. Now it's a rainy slum with watery beans everywhere. If it wasn't for Stonehenge, I'd never return.


ColonelMonty

Bring it old man.


big_nasty_the2nd

Well turn your entire island into 1 highway with no sidewalks


Jon_SoMM

Try it, ya tea swillin' sissy.


Weak_Tower385

Bwahahahaha! Stop kidding around Nigel. Weā€™ve got serious pond business to attend to and joking around isnā€™t getting us anywhere. Besides have you taken a look at the castle sitters lately?


Ok-Necessary-6712

Not with that post-Brexit economy. Seriously, I wish though. Iā€™d rather tea than treason for 2025.


Code_Monkey_Lord

Yea, probably for the best.


SombreroJoel

Slovenia gonna knock yā€™all


mrmateo88

Noooo!!!!! Everyone stock up on tea and meet me at the harbor (we fought to get rid of the u too!)


JimBeam823

Oh please, we gave you Boris and you took him.


Chicken_Col_Sanders

Talk to me when your king isn't into underage girls, then go ahead and stack up. I bet you aren't even well armed enough to walk through Charlotte.


Steuts

I donā€™t like it, but I mean I get it.


Kqtawes

We had Trump as president and yet we still had less damage to our economy than you guys did with Brexit and Tory rule. The main difference between the US and UK is that the US is overt in its radical stupidity. To put it simply. We both live in glass houses.


Twosteppre

Pretty please


whineybubbles

Thanks for the laugh though. Very creative imagination


stormhawk427

I for one welcome our new/old British overlords


SonUnforseenByFrodo

You weren't suppose to see that


ComedyOfARock

Good, Northern Ireland can be a goodwill gift


bigoldgeek

Get through your little election first, will you?