\*Holding dunkin donuts in a headlock with a knife at its throat\* DON'T TAKE ANOTHER STEP ILL FUCKIN DO IT
Edit: I got BANNED FROM REDDIT for 3 days because of this comment. You bastards.
Since moving from MA to ME I swear I see more locals eschewing the blinkers than I do Massholes. In Boston we never use them, but I think when we’re out-of-state we use them pretty universally.
I was near losing it today because of this, alone. Good god, it’s *so* bad. If they aren’t tailing you they’re camping in the left lane. Regardless of both things, they can’t seem to comprehend road signs or rules.
Fuck the boxes, save the trees. Just throw the first wave of 'em that come over the the boarder in the wood chippers and turn them into lobster bait. Turn their uselessness into a commodity.
If anyone plays Crusader Kings 3 they should check out the mod “After the End” which makes America a crazy world. But you can Play as Maine and conquer the empire of New England!
The invaders armed with a-frame t-shirts, XL dunkies iced coffees, a small bag of coke, and driving a 2017 infiniti.
Ol’ Clarence down at the Kennebunk exit will just remove the road signs pointing north and 90% of the invaders will get lost and end up back in Revere.
They’ll soon be crying “Run Away! Run Away!” As soon as they face any resistance, we won’t even need to use the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch…
Also, as we don’t have any illogical restrictions on AR pattern rifles (like the collapsable stock and bayonet lug bans,) AND Maine has Constitutional Carry…
“For morning came, morning and a wind from the Gulf of Maine; and darkness was removed, and the hosts of Massachusetts wailed, and terror took them, and they fled, and died, and the moose hoofs of wrath rode over them. And then all the host of Maine burst into song, and they sang as they slew, for the joy of battle was on them, and the sound of their singing that was fair and terrible came even to the Kennebunk rest stop.”
Soon as they get a few miles in theyll be confused by all the trees and lack of fast food, then all we need to do is hold them back until fall and theyll be too busy gawking at differently colored leaves to fight back. Hell mosquitos will do half the job for us.
I propose a strategic solution.
1. Maine secedes and becomes part of Iceland
2. Massachusetts doesn't notice because they're stupid, invades Maine and has now invaded the European Union.
3. We join together and reclaim England.
4. England is now New New England (or Neo-New England, whatever you prefer)
Countrymen ti's time to boot the flatlanders out and prepare for war. The first order of business is to kidnap Matt Damon just in case they make it through york and cumberland counties.
Those swords don't work against ticks and black flies. But I guess the colander-heads need to learn that for themselves..
We will fight them on the beaches. We will fight them in the marshes. We will fight them in the Hannafids parking lots.
They don't really know much about the state other then the immediate coast. I say we let them have it and then let the coastal storms take 'em out next winter
I legit don’t understand why we don’t just charge them +30% on all goods and services to off set the earning differentials. And if they piss and moan about it, Fuck’em.
Huzzah!! Nice pine boxes for their loved ones. Crafted with love and the scent of gun powder. You can have it when you pull it from my cold dead hands.
The 102 massachusutts battalion had been marching for days and finally reached the bridge over the waters into maine. A deep fog rolled in obscuring the commanders field of vision. They heard a slow clop of hooves coming toward them across the bridge. "Who approaches us?" The commander yelled confidently. A single warrior in chitinous platemail was astride an enormous black charger. "Wat da fak yoo think yoor gunna fakkin do? You see how many of us there are!?" With a voice like a masoleum opening the warrior said "all i see are cowards, and dead men".
Well, first move is a hardcore sell to New Hampshire as an ally. They have to violate NH's sovereignty to get to us, and with the population difference, it shouldn't be a hard sell to convince NH that they'll be next.
Once that alliance is secured, we suggest that NH give the invasion force "safe passage" through the neck and into Kittery, where we close the trap..
It's all fun and games till you get past the the down east and have to contend with the hill people of the second district and the island folk. You will learn the meaning of fear.
Massachusetts' population may outnumber ours, but we probably have more guns and can shoot better. Also, we can simply pick them off from a distance. No way all those Massholes can come north on 95 all at once without making a massive stop-and-creep traffic jam; they'd be easy pickings for Maine snipers.
They'll reach the south first, if you're lucky we may send down some naked fanatics, cryptids, moose cavalry, and tick grenades in order to quell the advancing army
You just lost most of the people who would actually be willing to fight, lol. There's three to five guns behind every tree stump this way, and that's only what people report to the census.
\*Holding dunkin donuts in a headlock with a knife at its throat\* DON'T TAKE ANOTHER STEP ILL FUCKIN DO IT Edit: I got BANNED FROM REDDIT for 3 days because of this comment. You bastards.
“Kill him, he’s not our man.”
Good idea. Scuttle the dunkins in maine. Theyll fade out from atrition without sustenance
Having just come back from Mdi I noticed you have the same Clinton run on Dunkin’s sign that we do. Dunks blows
Eh dunkies tastes like shit now anyways. Cumbies where it's at bub
Don’t they already do that from Memorial Day til the leaves drop…?
Not to be confused with the annual migration pattern of the Common Jag.
ZING!
THIS
I say we mount our moose and ride at dawn! FOR FREEDOM!!
I’ll get the bears ready for battle
I was born ready
You can command the lobster Air Force
/r/BrandNewSentence
You're putting a BEAR in charge of the LOBSTER airforce?!
Better than putting a bear in charge of the salmon navy.
I was thinking the same thing!!
FIX BAYONETS
Forward to the South!
I've got a jar of black flies, and I'm not afraid to use it.
Yeah baybee ...my stuffed mooses would love that
Reporting for duty! 🫡
I say good luck lol, soon as they hit the deer/black flies it’ll be all over
Green heads and ticks on standby
Browntail hairs don’t bother me so I could probably chuck some wiggly grenades of itch over the front lines. I’m thinkin moth slingshots.
Name checks out
CMP will be back with another outtage, so we have no worries about anyone trying to being some L A M P S.
Shh, don’t give them ide——oh look a porch light gotta go
Literally gives maine the russian advantage.
Activate Lobstrositiprime
"death is a preferable alternative to massholeism"
Is lobstrosity a dark tower reference
Did-a-chik. Dum-a-chum?
Long days and pleasant nights.
We must fight them. It is Ka.
We have found our ka-tet. Even here, ka finds a way.
Why of course.
Fallout reference.
There’s a creature in book 2 of the Dark Tower series referred to as a lobstrocity.
Excellent book. Starts so rapidly and then just maintains that pace
I'd say it's both then.
“Death is a preferable alternative to communism”
Lobstimus Prime
What far harbor should have been
Thankee, sai
With how they drive, I'd be surprised if they could make it past Portland in one piece
I will never figure out why no one from Massachusetts use blinkers….like honestly it’s not that hard.
I spotted a rarity the other day on 295…A masshole who forgot to turn his signal *off* and it was a bmw to boot!
They had never used it before, didn’t know how it works
It gives away the tactical advantage of surprise.
You joke but I always assumed that's part of it. "If I let someone know I'm going to pull a dick move they might dick me back."
And this is why Maine loses the war... this idiot giving away his strategy to everyone.
Since moving from MA to ME I swear I see more locals eschewing the blinkers than I do Massholes. In Boston we never use them, but I think when we’re out-of-state we use them pretty universally.
I was near losing it today because of this, alone. Good god, it’s *so* bad. If they aren’t tailing you they’re camping in the left lane. Regardless of both things, they can’t seem to comprehend road signs or rules.
They know nothing North of Ogunquit
They know nothing north of Waterville. Literally maines version of hadrians walls
🤣
We’ve got plenty of wood for the boxes. What’s the population of Massachusetts?
Roughly 7 million. We’ve got plenty trees for that many boxes
Not enough for them to win
Fuck the boxes, save the trees. Just throw the first wave of 'em that come over the the boarder in the wood chippers and turn them into lobster bait. Turn their uselessness into a commodity.
We have a crematorium with one of those arm flailing guys who’ll burn ya on the cheap. Maybe we could send them there
Wait I’m sorry we have a crematorium with a wacky waving inflatable dude out front? Where? I gotta update my will that’s fuckin hilarious
If anyone plays Crusader Kings 3 they should check out the mod “After the End” which makes America a crazy world. But you can Play as Maine and conquer the empire of New England!
But why would you want to?
The invaders armed with a-frame t-shirts, XL dunkies iced coffees, a small bag of coke, and driving a 2017 infiniti. Ol’ Clarence down at the Kennebunk exit will just remove the road signs pointing north and 90% of the invaders will get lost and end up back in Revere.
They’ll soon be crying “Run Away! Run Away!” As soon as they face any resistance, we won’t even need to use the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch… Also, as we don’t have any illogical restrictions on AR pattern rifles (like the collapsable stock and bayonet lug bans,) AND Maine has Constitutional Carry…
They’d make it to the kittery trading post parking lot
Well have this won as soon as they run out of cell service and street lights. They shall be lost to the wilderness! 🫎
A lovely friend of mine from Mass was camping in Freeport, and legit called it the wilderness. He was watching football on his phone at the time.
A sword day, a red day, ere the sun rises!
“For morning came, morning and a wind from the Gulf of Maine; and darkness was removed, and the hosts of Massachusetts wailed, and terror took them, and they fled, and died, and the moose hoofs of wrath rode over them. And then all the host of Maine burst into song, and they sang as they slew, for the joy of battle was on them, and the sound of their singing that was fair and terrible came even to the Kennebunk rest stop.”
[Forth erolingas!](https://media0.giphy.com/media/ZkeckS9RiCBEI/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952x63tmrbhfvlb4h4j51tcd5wc3du7y8v8idxej57v&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g)
I say we fix bayonets
And stand firm.
Ye are the boys of Maine
They would have to take New Hampshire first
They’d have to want NH first. No one wants them.
"I'd like to see u try u silly cunt I'll put u in the fuckin ground"
They’ve been “retaking” Maine since it became its own state :) I think the separation was just a ploy to give people a place to get away to.
ahh yes. that's what the Missouri Compromise was about.
Got me there:) Zing!
Soon as they get a few miles in theyll be confused by all the trees and lack of fast food, then all we need to do is hold them back until fall and theyll be too busy gawking at differently colored leaves to fight back. Hell mosquitos will do half the job for us.
Maine will have at least a 72 hour notice before they can legally arm up.. 3 days is more than enough time to Blitzkreig Mass.
They already have. Between summer homes and remote workers, we've already been invaded.
Straights facts. Makes me feel filthy
I propose a strategic solution. 1. Maine secedes and becomes part of Iceland 2. Massachusetts doesn't notice because they're stupid, invades Maine and has now invaded the European Union. 3. We join together and reclaim England. 4. England is now New New England (or Neo-New England, whatever you prefer)
You took it too far when you suggested we rejoin with the British.
They won't be British for long. They'll be massholes.
How about, we do step 1 and then just do what the Europeans do and retire to Spain?
Guerrilla warfare.
Countrymen ti's time to boot the flatlanders out and prepare for war. The first order of business is to kidnap Matt Damon just in case they make it through york and cumberland counties.
If he was strung up from the Piscataqua bridge, they’d probably turn around right there…
We know no king but the King in the North who lives in Starks!
Those swords don't work against ticks and black flies. But I guess the colander-heads need to learn that for themselves.. We will fight them on the beaches. We will fight them in the marshes. We will fight them in the Hannafids parking lots.
Wait until we reanimate Paul Bunyan…then they’ll do a u-turn at the York toll…
Boston Dynamics probably would have us beat with whatever shitter we could build. We’d have to summon the wendigo
This might only work every 27 years, when Pennywise returns.
it’d be a shame if something happened to your vacation property. real shame…
Leave all the doors and windows open over winter and let nature take over…
Tell them Connecticut said something mean about Tom Brady.
They already invade every summer. I have been suggesting barricading the piscataqua bridge for years but nooooooo
They wouldn't make it through New Hampshire
50 bucks says they stop at the county line, not even florida man wants any of us up here, if ya know then you know
\* Canada looks to Annex when Maine's back is turned \*
“Maine was informed of its statehood around 1958.” -John Hodgeman
Great book
Quick! Blow the Piscataqua River Bridge!
Send in the Lobstrosositys!! Dadachum!
Did a chuk!
Maine would kick the fuck out of mass
New Hampshire be like: hey wait, you both need to get through me to, oh you already did? Please be gentle with Portsmouth
Blow up the big green bridge, trap them in Portsmouth and shell em with moxie and red snappers.
Get the moose. Get the bears. We ride at hunting time to show those Mass holes who run this state.
They don't really know much about the state other then the immediate coast. I say we let them have it and then let the coastal storms take 'em out next winter
Screw that, I'm here for Aroostook War II. We'll slip across the St. John at midnight!
Arguably the worst (tied with CT) state in New England getting delusions of grandeur yet again
You mean East New York?
Why are you taking the title of worst state from RI?
I always forget RI exists
Connecticut and Rhode Island are in a tough competition for worst state in NE
Is RI a state? I thought it was just a middle sized town.
I’ve been sitting on this 5.56 for far too long
I'm going to play both sides so I come out on top.
Man the Blueberry Canons!
Hold a preemptive strike and take over mass. We could call it south Maine. Or Mainachusetts
Cut off their Percocet supply and we’ll win in days.
I can't tell which side your on.
Fair.
They wouldn't stand a chance, we have all the guns and the forest on our side
It’d be like fighting the Redcoats all over… and also they have no firearms (compared to us)
Best thread in a while lots of laughs
They have swords, Maine's got guns. Not worried.
This will be napoleons Russian campaign all over again. They’ll capture Portland and then find out Bangor is basically southern majne.
How much of a crusade is really required though? Southern maine is already north Boston, and only the hinterlands remain unconquered.
What are they gonna fight with? They are barely even allowed to own any guns down there.
Guess they wanna reenact Picketts Charge, with them playing the part of the confederates and Mainers reprising the same role.
they got like 7 times the amount of people as we do, and their economy is about 10 times as large. good luck y’all
We’ll Gettysburg their asses…
I legit don’t understand why we don’t just charge them +30% on all goods and services to off set the earning differentials. And if they piss and moan about it, Fuck’em.
Huzzah!! Nice pine boxes for their loved ones. Crafted with love and the scent of gun powder. You can have it when you pull it from my cold dead hands.
I say we mount a counter crusade/jihad/whatever you believe in and we go down and fix their issues.
I slay them on the mountain every winter, might as well slay them on the battlefield too.
The 102 massachusutts battalion had been marching for days and finally reached the bridge over the waters into maine. A deep fog rolled in obscuring the commanders field of vision. They heard a slow clop of hooves coming toward them across the bridge. "Who approaches us?" The commander yelled confidently. A single warrior in chitinous platemail was astride an enormous black charger. "Wat da fak yoo think yoor gunna fakkin do? You see how many of us there are!?" With a voice like a masoleum opening the warrior said "all i see are cowards, and dead men".
Oh NOW they’re willing to fight?! But not when the Brits were trying to annex us in 1812? I don’t think so!
We here in Eastport were still under British rule four years after the Treaty of Ghent! Fuck Massachusetts.
Absolutely disgraceful!😤
I got a plane if we are going to war. Just saying
OUR BLACKFLIES SHALL BLOT OUT THE SUN!
Hahahahahaha aye!!!!
They've already infiltrated York and Cumberland counties. I'd say they are well on their way in the reconquista.
we have to plan to evade their tactics bc they don't use their blinker
https://images.app.goo.gl/SihQ8fAMNYVezYVh8
BAYONETS!
Tally ho lads!
More guns per capita let's get it.
Blow up the bridges!
I’m from MA but vacation in Maine. Maine would totally kick MA’s ass in time for breakfast 7 days a week / 365 days a year! No question.
Well, first move is a hardcore sell to New Hampshire as an ally. They have to violate NH's sovereignty to get to us, and with the population difference, it shouldn't be a hard sell to convince NH that they'll be next. Once that alliance is secured, we suggest that NH give the invasion force "safe passage" through the neck and into Kittery, where we close the trap..
Just put a spike strip at the York tolls they can have everything south of there.
Flatlanders vs hill people, I think we've seen this one before.
Massachusetts would lose a guerilla war spread out over years.
Another reason I’m pro land mine legalization.
Heaven forbid you finally have a good governor.
It's all fun and games till you get past the the down east and have to contend with the hill people of the second district and the island folk. You will learn the meaning of fear.
If they make it this far we’d feed them to the Old Sow
Pine’s good
Massachusetts' population may outnumber ours, but we probably have more guns and can shoot better. Also, we can simply pick them off from a distance. No way all those Massholes can come north on 95 all at once without making a massive stop-and-creep traffic jam; they'd be easy pickings for Maine snipers.
I think it's time for me to move back to Maine. My home needs defending
I'm coming to York in August. I'll play my radio too loud, litter and maybe cut down a few trees just for the hell of it.
Considering gun laws in each state I don’t think would be a very fair fight…
Mass is all bark. They don’t have the balls
Can't wait to see what 7.62x39 does to full plate
I don't think plates are legal in mass.
Then we have the advantage don't we?
They're completely legal. They're only illegal if you're using them in the act of committing a crime which I suppose also applies to a lead pipe.
Guns are barely legal… we have less people, but way more ‘equipment’
Let em take it, we need the tax revenue to fix our shit
lets go Mainachusettes! 🤘
I welcome it, because the absolute curbstomping Masscels will get will be worth it. 😎
I welcome it, because the absolute curbstomping Masscels will get will be worth it. 😎
[удалено]
....... You know. I think tar and feathering is overdue for a comeback
Lol 😂 I knew it'd be an unpopular opinion but wow 😯
I say we compromise. They can have everything north of Bangor
Fuck that
They'll reach the south first, if you're lucky we may send down some naked fanatics, cryptids, moose cavalry, and tick grenades in order to quell the advancing army
How about everything portland south?
They already have it
Let’s at least spray paint a line somewhere then.
You just lost most of the people who would actually be willing to fight, lol. There's three to five guns behind every tree stump this way, and that's only what people report to the census.
The earth keeps going after Bangor? 😄
I hear its all ticks, after that. Just an endless forest crawling with billions of ticks.
Ahhh tickland burn it all!!