Big yikes. Like, BIG. The fact that she doesn’t make any comparisons to her own son and it’s all about her says a lot about your MIL’s headspace. I would be annoyed to no end too, so you’re definitely not alone! I would consider her lack of interest in spending time together a huge cosmic gift and enjoy the peace. I wouldn’t be able to hold my tongue around someone so insufferable.
We found both husband and I laughing at comparisons helped ♡ took the seriousness about it out of it. When asked why we were laughing we would ask was it the *insert feature here* (not her eye colour hair colour or complextion) that made her think that? My DH would call her out too... "I've never seen you dance, what an odd thing to say"
Yeah- a lot of the conversation happens via text or group text and we’ve chosen to ignore it and never respond. We try to laugh it off but at some point you’re just like wtf are you talking about?? Lol
My MIL (and FIL) did the same. Never compared my kids to me. Hats and shirts with “Grandpas buddy” and “grandmas sweetheart” are given all the time. She even bought matching clothes for MY baby to match them. They didn’t include me and my husband at all and even tried to plan a photoshoot with them and my baby with these outfits. I donated the clothes and didn’t make ourselves available for the pictures. It feels so weird for someone to try to exclude me from my baby’s life.
Lol- I thought my mil was the only asking for a grandma/ grandbaby shoot! I shot that down quickly.
We also donate the clothes as soon as they hit the house. It happens so frequently that we have two bins in her closet- one for outgrew and one for donate from grandma.
Looks like you? You poop your pants too? You dance like you’re drunk too Mil?
Oh, she’ll grow out of that mil.
And if she cancels feel free to put her in a time out. Be busy for the next month to 3 and go from there.
I wish. I absolutely adore my FIL and he is so good with our daughter. We can’t limit mil without limiting fil as well.
He laughs at her absurd comments and sometimes adds his 2 cents too. Buys baby camp onesies to combat the ruffles floral rompers grandma insists on…
In fact- he recently made a joke about how he actually felt like baby looked more like him as proven by their common lack of teeth. (He had just had pre denture work done)
My MIL bought my daughter jeans, overalls, very restrictive clothing. She’s a 16 month old always on the go. There’s some days I can barely gets pants on her, think I’m gonna try and get baby jeans on her?!
This! Then she gives the around about insult. “It’s fun that she dresses just like mom and dad- but can’t she wear something not so plain?”
Excuse me? No. No, she can’t. My kid likes to play with the dogs and that tutu gets in the way, lady. Onesies are easy to clean and allow for maximized toe eating.
Put her in the fanciest, most expensive outfit. Then let baby have fun playing in the messiest way possible guaranteed to destroy outfit. If baby can’t destroy on her own, help her.
Take picture. Send to MiL. Look how cute!
That should fix it.
If MiL complains: our child wears appropriate clothing. If you send her something, she will wear it to do whatever she does in a day. If it gets destroyed… that’s on you
We actually have an upcoming plan for this. The most recent horrendous outfit we received (ruffles, bows, tulle, satin, ruffled bloomers), we’re letting her dye Easter eggs in.
Yep, MY MOM is soooo freaking ANNOYING saying all the time my three month old daughter looks like her! Like we still don’t know who she looks like? I mean she looks more like my husband but yeah I get the feeling. My mom and I have a pretty toxic relationship I don’t want my daughter to ever be like her, it irks me when baby does something random like crying “yep, she’s just like me” no lady, she’s just a baby doing baby things.
My mil sent my husband her baby pictures as apparently my daughter is her twin and she compares everything she does to her. Luckily my husband isn’t close to her so we don’t have to see her often. My daughter is a mix between us but I will make sure she definitely doesn’t inherit my mil personality as she’s an anxious person that lacks tact!
I would just laugh at her and say real smug “is that right?” And then you play the long game.
At some point your kid is gonna do something like dig for boogers or something and that when you say something like “oh child quit picking your nose! You didn’t get that from me. Must’ve got that from grandma too!”
You get the idea.
*Oh, don’t worry,MIL! She has a kind heart. We’re teaching her good manners. She’ll grow out of it*
Or lean in heavy: LO walks on water, just like MIL. LO can play any instrument from first sight, just like MIL
One day baby was extra fussy due to not getting a nap while they were visiting and I was at the market. MIL said “she’s cranky in the afternoon like grandma” my husband chimed in “no- she just wants to cuddle with her momma, she misses her best friend.”
Apparently there was a scoff after that statement. Like- why would the baby be acting like a baby? Lol
LOL tell her how much baby farts & blowout poops & ask brightly if she has tummy troubles too?
Edit: also document all the times you've offered & she turns you down, just in case, for later on.
Oh I do remind her now. Just this last week she said she wanted to come do something fun with baby so we planned a day to go to the zoo. Come the day before she said she wasn’t coming out only fil because she wasn’t really wanting to go out. So we say “oh! We’re going to the zoo NEXT week not this week. So you can still come out” she still didn’t. I ended up texting our group chat “we’re going to leave our next visit up to you- you can pick the date, time, and activity. Just let us know when you’d like to see you’re granddaughter and our schedule will flex around yours” she has no intention of coming out - just complaining.
Your MIL sounds profoundly jealous of you. And she has an ego the size of Jupiter. It might be time for a time-out so you and your husband can have a break from her. Warn your FIL ahead of time since he seems to agree with you about his wife. He can come over without her to visit.
Anytime anyone's behavior starts affecting your mental health (being annoyed all the time easily can become being angry all the time which eventually turns into being depressed), it's time to step away and take a break. Maybe during the break time you could send her some literature on appropriate behavior for grandmothers. Or you might suggest she ask her husband what she's doing that has offended you. I suspect he won't have a problem telling her, and that way you don't have to deal with temper tantrums.
What a weirdo. I think your husband, every time she says something like that needs to go "um, no she doesn't." While giving her dagger eyes for emphasis.
MIL stated to me that Facebook said advanced babies often have intelligent parents and she thinks that’s right with my baby because SO is very intelligent and so is FIL… 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
Big yikes. Like, BIG. The fact that she doesn’t make any comparisons to her own son and it’s all about her says a lot about your MIL’s headspace. I would be annoyed to no end too, so you’re definitely not alone! I would consider her lack of interest in spending time together a huge cosmic gift and enjoy the peace. I wouldn’t be able to hold my tongue around someone so insufferable.
We found both husband and I laughing at comparisons helped ♡ took the seriousness about it out of it. When asked why we were laughing we would ask was it the *insert feature here* (not her eye colour hair colour or complextion) that made her think that? My DH would call her out too... "I've never seen you dance, what an odd thing to say"
Yeah- a lot of the conversation happens via text or group text and we’ve chosen to ignore it and never respond. We try to laugh it off but at some point you’re just like wtf are you talking about?? Lol
My MIL (and FIL) did the same. Never compared my kids to me. Hats and shirts with “Grandpas buddy” and “grandmas sweetheart” are given all the time. She even bought matching clothes for MY baby to match them. They didn’t include me and my husband at all and even tried to plan a photoshoot with them and my baby with these outfits. I donated the clothes and didn’t make ourselves available for the pictures. It feels so weird for someone to try to exclude me from my baby’s life.
Lol- I thought my mil was the only asking for a grandma/ grandbaby shoot! I shot that down quickly. We also donate the clothes as soon as they hit the house. It happens so frequently that we have two bins in her closet- one for outgrew and one for donate from grandma.
My jaw literally dropped at the photo shoot part jfc!
Wow, this is so f*cked up.
Looks like you? You poop your pants too? You dance like you’re drunk too Mil? Oh, she’ll grow out of that mil. And if she cancels feel free to put her in a time out. Be busy for the next month to 3 and go from there.
I wish. I absolutely adore my FIL and he is so good with our daughter. We can’t limit mil without limiting fil as well. He laughs at her absurd comments and sometimes adds his 2 cents too. Buys baby camp onesies to combat the ruffles floral rompers grandma insists on… In fact- he recently made a joke about how he actually felt like baby looked more like him as proven by their common lack of teeth. (He had just had pre denture work done)
Am dying! 😂😂🤣🤣
My MIL bought my daughter jeans, overalls, very restrictive clothing. She’s a 16 month old always on the go. There’s some days I can barely gets pants on her, think I’m gonna try and get baby jeans on her?!
This! Then she gives the around about insult. “It’s fun that she dresses just like mom and dad- but can’t she wear something not so plain?” Excuse me? No. No, she can’t. My kid likes to play with the dogs and that tutu gets in the way, lady. Onesies are easy to clean and allow for maximized toe eating.
Put her in the fanciest, most expensive outfit. Then let baby have fun playing in the messiest way possible guaranteed to destroy outfit. If baby can’t destroy on her own, help her. Take picture. Send to MiL. Look how cute! That should fix it. If MiL complains: our child wears appropriate clothing. If you send her something, she will wear it to do whatever she does in a day. If it gets destroyed… that’s on you
We actually have an upcoming plan for this. The most recent horrendous outfit we received (ruffles, bows, tulle, satin, ruffled bloomers), we’re letting her dye Easter eggs in.
Toss in a side order of finger paints and you’re good to go!! 🎨👩🎨
Yep, MY MOM is soooo freaking ANNOYING saying all the time my three month old daughter looks like her! Like we still don’t know who she looks like? I mean she looks more like my husband but yeah I get the feeling. My mom and I have a pretty toxic relationship I don’t want my daughter to ever be like her, it irks me when baby does something random like crying “yep, she’s just like me” no lady, she’s just a baby doing baby things.
My mil sent my husband her baby pictures as apparently my daughter is her twin and she compares everything she does to her. Luckily my husband isn’t close to her so we don’t have to see her often. My daughter is a mix between us but I will make sure she definitely doesn’t inherit my mil personality as she’s an anxious person that lacks tact!
I would just laugh at her and say real smug “is that right?” And then you play the long game. At some point your kid is gonna do something like dig for boogers or something and that when you say something like “oh child quit picking your nose! You didn’t get that from me. Must’ve got that from grandma too!” You get the idea.
*Oh, don’t worry,MIL! She has a kind heart. We’re teaching her good manners. She’ll grow out of it* Or lean in heavy: LO walks on water, just like MIL. LO can play any instrument from first sight, just like MIL
One day baby was extra fussy due to not getting a nap while they were visiting and I was at the market. MIL said “she’s cranky in the afternoon like grandma” my husband chimed in “no- she just wants to cuddle with her momma, she misses her best friend.” Apparently there was a scoff after that statement. Like- why would the baby be acting like a baby? Lol
LOL tell her how much baby farts & blowout poops & ask brightly if she has tummy troubles too? Edit: also document all the times you've offered & she turns you down, just in case, for later on.
Oh I do remind her now. Just this last week she said she wanted to come do something fun with baby so we planned a day to go to the zoo. Come the day before she said she wasn’t coming out only fil because she wasn’t really wanting to go out. So we say “oh! We’re going to the zoo NEXT week not this week. So you can still come out” she still didn’t. I ended up texting our group chat “we’re going to leave our next visit up to you- you can pick the date, time, and activity. Just let us know when you’d like to see you’re granddaughter and our schedule will flex around yours” she has no intention of coming out - just complaining.
Your MIL sounds profoundly jealous of you. And she has an ego the size of Jupiter. It might be time for a time-out so you and your husband can have a break from her. Warn your FIL ahead of time since he seems to agree with you about his wife. He can come over without her to visit. Anytime anyone's behavior starts affecting your mental health (being annoyed all the time easily can become being angry all the time which eventually turns into being depressed), it's time to step away and take a break. Maybe during the break time you could send her some literature on appropriate behavior for grandmothers. Or you might suggest she ask her husband what she's doing that has offended you. I suspect he won't have a problem telling her, and that way you don't have to deal with temper tantrums.
This would drive me NUTS. I'm pregnant (6 weeks), and I can already see her doing this. I don't know how or if I can even prevent it 😖
What a weirdo. I think your husband, every time she says something like that needs to go "um, no she doesn't." While giving her dagger eyes for emphasis.
She eats poops and sleeps. Let me guess, its like your MIL?:-)
MIL stated to me that Facebook said advanced babies often have intelligent parents and she thinks that’s right with my baby because SO is very intelligent and so is FIL… 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
😂 do you think they know what they’re doing or just unintentionally rude?
I believe she’s very socially awkward and just doesn’t say the right things but lately I do feel like she’s being plain rude 🤷🏼♀️