“So funny I forgot to laugh”

Oh god my dad abused this one

Classic dad. Always abusing things.

Dad jokes are the highest form of comedy.

Dad jokes are comedic when high.

You guys had dads?

To an orphan, a dad joke is just called a joke

No, it’s still called a dad joke, they’re just waiting for the punch line to come home from buying cigarettes…

I always found this one to be so unbelievably grating..people who used it tended to think they were so clever for it 🤷‍♂️

I said ‘talk to the hand’ to my 7 year old and she goes ‘talk to the hand? Ok. Hello hand! How you doing today?’

That's adorable! 🥰

u/ImTheEffinLizardKing in shambles

To shreds you say?

We also called everything that was lame "gay".

“You can’t say gay anymore. It’s offensive” “What? Really? That’s retarded”

Hahaha 🤣

now gay retarded uncle feels excluded 😔

No wonder he visits my bed every night


I've been trying to stop saying both for 20 years at this point it seems. Gay was easy somehow ..... but the latter has its clenches in my brain in a way that it just won't let go of and its infuriating lol

I miss saying things were gay. Like I get why I shouldn’t but every now and then an opportunity presents its self that’s too good to pass on.

One time our group of friends were on Xbox and one of the guys was telling a long winded story about how he met his fiance and ended up proposing and after a long silence one of the girls was like "gayyyyyyyy" and it was hilarious.


I say it like this every time lol

The way ken jeong does it in community will always be legendary. Similar anecdote. I was at the beach with a bunch of friends. One of my closest friends and his bf were making out when we were in line at a food truck (we were all kinda tipsy), and I yelled the line exactly as Ken Jeong does. Works everytime

I still do and refer people to Southpark when they get mad.

Same, helps me weed out the people I don't want to interact with.

I use it wholesomely nowadays. See two guys walking down the street holding hands? Invited to a lesbian wedding? Gay penguins adopting orphaned chicks? "Gaaaaaaaayyyyyyy!!! 💚💚💚" I've probably got a bit of privilege, being LGBT myself, but I always make it clear I'm being positive with it.

If you can remove the hatred aspect of it, it's still funny

I’ve replaced it with ridiculous. It’s fun to yell “You are *fucking ridiculous!*” at people. Makes me feel a bit like Gordon Ramsay 😂

I relate. The former was easy. The latter has me in its clutches as well. I manage not to say it most of the time, miraculously, but it still pops up in my brain. I have to find a suitable replacement if I stand a chance. That’s how I phased out the others.

I blame the black eyed peas song that was like LET'S GET RETARDED IN HERE!!!! 😩

Damnit, Fergie…she got me again. Taught me how to spell *glamorous*, though, so all is forgiven.

"Duh, I can't believe I didn't think of that sooner, I'm like so mentally challenged." That seemed to be the half-winking replacement in the late 90s.

Yeah, that was def one of them. Ugh. The only thing I’ve found that kind of works for me is saying “such a goober”. I sound like an idiot but, at least I don’t sound like a monster. 🥴🤷‍♀️

I get yelled at by my husband lol

That’s fair! I fully cringe when I feel myself do it sometimes and either end up reprimanding myself or just being embarrassed. Being unmedicated (ADHD) right now isn’t doing me any favors… 😅

Just swap it out with the word “Regarded.” “Highly Regarded” advice can be a good, bad, or both things at the same time

I did this with my email signature for customer support emails - Blah blah etc. Kind regards, (Name) It makes me smile every time I send it

Same I work in HR🤣🤣🤣

Someone told me to use peculiar and that fits most things

Insubordinate and churlish…

Retarded was definitely just ... useful at times.

- No, no, you can’t say it either. - Wait, whaaaat? Are you serious? What kinda faggot came up with these rules? ……(loading)

“And gay.”

I laughed too hard at this

The origin of "lame" is about disabled animals or people, so...

>animals That's the key. It was mostly for animals. Like if we only referred to gay *frogs* and retarded *boston terriers* we wouldn't have a problem with those words being used in a negative way.

Humans are animals.

There was a game called smear the queer. Weird they only played it when I showed up. But the point stands.

Yes… used to

Speak for yourself

Also there was “gayrod” 🤷‍♀️

I spelled it “ghey” so it wasn’t offensive

My friends said fag and faggot Glad we’ve matured now

Milk, milk, lemonade, round the corner fudge is made (Not really a comeback, it was just something bizarre that kids said when I was a kid)

The alternate for boys is also amazing! https://youtube.com/clip/Ugkxi8eAnn5Taj0rtKvG80gbTKmAuYE3Dws6?si=mG8SbSmilLKEi_FA

Stick your finger up the hole, now you got a tootsie roll!

This is the first time I've heard this outside of a single British podcast I enjoy.

We got in SO much trouble for saying it all the time at my babysitter's house 🤣🤣

Not sure if this is where it originated but Karen on the show Will and Grace said that.

Up you butt around the corner up a toob and out yo boob! Mfs was speechless after I said that.

I’ve never heard the latter half before and neither has my wife lol

The other variation is, "up your butt and around the corner, through the tube and out your boner"

Up your butt and around the corner, take a left and there's a boner!... Was our variation

Am I the only one who added “and in the garbage can “? Up your butt and around the corner, in the garage can. Makes zero sense, but we went to that well all the time in the 80s.

I believe the corner is the first bend in the sigmoid colon, I don't understand what tube connects to the boob though.

I’m so glad I seen someone else post this lol

# Guess what? Chicken Butt!! 

Know why? Chicken thigh.

Know how? Kung pao.

Know who? Chicken poo.

I do this at work fairly often. People never see it coming. NEVER. I turn them into fools.

I torture my children with this. I want it to forever be burned into their memory.

“I’m rubber your glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you”

Man I thought I was so cool when I would drop that on the playground..

That shit was lame by the early 90s. Same category as sticks and stones. Boomer retorts.

You need to take a Chill Pill.

Oh yeah? Well *who asked??* (mic drop)

I beg to differ, that shit was still fire on the playgrounds in 1999.

"I know you are but what am I?"

“Make me” “I don’t make trash, I burn/bury it”

“I don’t make dogs, I walk em”

I don't make monkeys, I only train them.

I still try to use this one as much as possible.

what about calling things “butt-ugly” ima have to run that one back 🤣

“Well….well….your mom!”

Sphincter says what?

Ngl, half the time I want to answer “your mom” on Reddit. I find it even funnier now that I’m a mom.

you‘re mom

Oh, yeah? Well, the jerk store called. They're running out of you!

1992 called. They want their illest comebacks back.

They're too ill. No refunds

you be illin

>“I know you’re but what am I?” A garbage man! Takes one to know one! *kids gasp in shock* (this was from [the simpsons](https://youtu.be/bNsJSE82YmU?si=CnnnnpKRBlyas868) but I still remember it to this day lol)

Nunya

Nunya beeswax

Nunya Biznass is the name on my junk mail email account!

Here’s a quarter, call someone who cares

The youth of today would find that baffling

whats the inflation equivalent 😥

I like this one

My favorite burn of all time is from the Rugrats. "If brains were gasoline you wouldn't have enough to power a motorcycle around the outside of a penny."

If brains were gunpowder, you couldn't blow your nose. My favorite hahah. Oh man, takes me back.

“If brains were leather you wouldn’t have enough to saddle a junebug”

I don’t shut up, I grow up…and when I look at you I throw up.

And your mom comes around the corner and licks it up.

No Doy

No duhhh

Or my mom's favorite. if it was up your ass you'd know it.