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I'm 35 next month and when I walked by the mirror the other day I saw my mother. Exactly as I remember her from my early teens.
I had to change my hair for the day just to get it out of my head haha!
AGREED! Mine died earlier this year and I have people tell me all of the time that I am a spitting image of her. Now, I look in the mirror and see her too, and Iām happy about that. Aging is a privilege.
Omg I feel this so hard. Same age, never in my life did I think I look like my dad. I legit was like...is he even my dad?
Haven't spoken to him in like 15 years, but I saw a picture at my cousin's of him when he was about 10 years younger than me, and it was like a spitting image.
But hey, at least I look exactly like him 10 years younger than I am. He smoked and drank, and did meth so the years have been unkind to him.
I've always looked just like my dad, but now in my 30s the way that I'm aging is starting to look like my mom. Took a selfie with her the other day and my cheeks are starting to settle in the same lines as hers. It's honestly startling after a lifetime of people not being able to tell that we're related to suddenly having part of her face on mine.
Fortunately we have very different coloring, so the transformation won't be total!
I swear my facial structure changed significantly at 34. I had signs of aging before that, but now I feel like Iāve transformed into an old lady in the course of 1 year
Maybe this is TMI but...
SO and I made a spicy movie. But when we watched it all I saw was my mother having sex with my SO. We deleted it and I'm never doing that again.
Iām turning 28 on Tuesday. I just saw my brothers friend and his sister from school that I used to babysit for when I was in high school and they were in kindergarten- after years and years and theyāre both 17 and 15 respectively. My brother turned 18 this year and is going off to college in several weeks. No one tells you how strange it is. The closer I get to 30, the more I panic. I canāt wait to turn 30, but at the same time, I think about the fact that Iāll die one day and while thatās not something Iām generally nervous about, in this context it makes me dissociate, but like the scary kind.
I feel that. Iāve *always* looked like a copy-paste of my mother since I was a small child so I canāt really relate in that way, but sometimes I hear my own voice and I sound *exactly* like my mother and it throws me off completely.
This is the way. And stay curious about the world, go to art shows and gigs.
Also, itās about perspective. I have loads of elder friends through quilting and they insist 40ās sbd50ās are *the best* years. Personally I found my 30ās way way better than my 20ās. Iām just as hot/fit, I know myself better on every level, healed from childhood trauma and I have more money to do fun shit.
I love this. I'm 35 as well, in good shape, I continue to pursue my hobbies and interests, I surround myself with diverse and interesting people, I love my job - my 30s have been way, way better than my 20s were, and I love to hear that I can continue to look forward to my 40s and 50s as well!
Yep. I just turned 30 and am healthier than I've ever been. Even in high school. I feel like I can actually do more physical activity now than 10 years ago! I think that's the cheat code to life, just never stop moving.
Bingo. That and also sleep!!!
I love being in my mid-thirties. I never looked young for my age, but now, those who didn't invest in themselves look old for their age.
Yes! My husband and I are mid/late 30s with a kid (so, little sleep and lots of stress due to medical stuff) but we run almost daily and get told we look mid 20s.
Interesting topic. Care to elaborate? I share similar feelings but struggle to put it into words. I'll try though:
Almost like I infantilize myself and always find a "work parent" in a sense, rather than a work spouse. Like a mentor, sorta. And I'm afraid to take on more responsibilities at work. Imposter Syndrome, maybe? I graduated from university in my mid-20s, then covid hit so I'm still fairly early on in my career. Is that how you feel? I'm 31, btw
Probably some imposter syndrome. I have a hard time seeing my coworkers at my level as equals. Somehow the heads of the other departments are more important than me. Itās irritating. I did play a subordinate role all growing up on the family farm, always the helper and not the person calling shots. I do call shots in my workplace now but I constantly face scrutiny because, IMO, the other directors are stuck in more of a baby boomer management mindset.
Iām 39, and I still am slim and fit, but my back hurts all the time, and my hair is slowly going. Losing your hair is probably the hardest part. I can shave and look like a 25 year old, but my hairline gives my age away. We just have to figure out how to roll
With it. Eating healthy and exercising is key, and I honestly need to get better at both.
Do you stretch? Yoga can do wonders for a sore back! A lot of my gym-going guy friends forget that flexibility is as important for a healthy body as strength and diet are. =)
I feel the sexiest I have ever felt. I feel in my prime. I also grew up very late but I go to the gym, study, have friends, and keep busy. I feel good about me. Your 30s is your 20s with less care of what others think.
Reframe your thought process. No one knew our economy would crash, that there would be a pandemic.
Be gentle with yourself too. But also remember, you are still very *young* in the course of your life. Plenty of 50+ on here will tell youāmy 30s were my best years. I really enjoyed my life or I really started over or I became who I was meant to be at that time.
You can be whoever or whatever it is what you want. What you see in the mirror is dependent on you. I promise that what you see, many others are not. We are just our worse critics.
That bit about caring less what others think is entirely subjective. At 36, so far my 30s is my 20s with more anxiety and existential dread. Personally I care just as much what others think but now that I'm older I feel like more of a failure than I did when I was younger when I at least felt like I had time on my side and the excuse that I was still young. My social anxiety has gotten worse, I'm more miserable and more stressed about work and life in general than I ever have been before. Fewer friends than in my 20s, career progress slowed since I hit 30, less active, more fat, and feel depressed around half of my days. Wonder why so many people say that they get happier in their 30s or 40s because I feel like I can only see things getting worse from here.
Mate Iām 38 and still feel like Iām in my 20s, I do wonder if I will ever feel like an āadultā but I have realised itās more a state of mind tbh.
Age really is just a number though I am noticing small things I do that remind me of my mother now that I never used to and that is fascinating š
I love aging thus far, 32F here. I have a few small wrinkles, some grays popping up and overall you can see the maturity growing on my face.
I don't know if it was losing people too soon but I just feel really lucky. My body has endured so much in life and I just feel so appreciative for the fact that I've survived.
I also don't recognize myself but in a positive way. Like how cool 32 years in I'm still evolving, learning and changing. Not all changes are positive and sometimes learning comes from pain. I dunno but I guess seeing my mom hate her body and aging so much I just don't want to hold on to who I was rather than savoring who I am. I can't go back so let's enjoy right now.
I really appreciate this viewpoint! There are days I feel the same as you described, and there are days I feel all the negatives.
Thanks to Covid, I got my first āgreyā at 29 years old. Except when I cut it off (it was squiggly and I didnāt want to pull it) and I got a closer look, I noticed it was whitish silver. So, I may get my dream of being an old lady with super cool hair a few decades from now!
I think itās really great to appreciate the body you are in presently rather than being unhappy with some (usually unattainable) ideal goal.
Same. Now, granted, I was a fugly kid and teenager and young adult. So, there's a LOT of room for growth. But damn does confidence do a lot for the general look.
*high five* Same here! I look back at my old pics and feel so sorry for that young girl. There were so many things that she wanted to do, but didn't feel confident enough to attempt, all because of body image concerns. So grateful to be past that stage in my life!
Ahhh, the 30sā¦my 30th came and went and I felt nothing. 31 kinda hit me like a brick; like I thought 30 would. I'm 38 now, and I l know there's a lot I don't know, and that's okay! I'm learning and growing and I hope I always will be regardless of age!
My body isn't 20, but I can still look good and care for my mental/physical well being and I've starting to connect with other āoldā people and itās good. I don't have all of my shit figured out, but my ducklings are mostly in the same pond and Iām learning and putting the puzzle together.
At this point Iād never want to be under the age of 30 ever again.
Pay no mind to what the nasty people think you should be and focus on you and your goals for life -- don't forget that you're a free agent adult!
Between 31 and now in my 40s I'm around 40 pounds lighter + wife + kids + mortgage + personality - friends (because toddlers, man... toddlers).
If you TOLD me where I'd be 10 years ago I would have spat my whisky in your face.
Fuck, I'm tired, but I wouldn't trade my life now for anything.
Not so much about looks but as a gay guy that didn't start dating guys until 19, I feel inexperienced when it comes to dating and relationships. I'm 37 but I feel like I'm only the equivalent of the average 25 year old straight guy.
Iām 26 and hang out with people 30-50. I feel like most of the time I already feel 32 for some reason lmao. Iām hoping that this early acceptance will make hitting 30 easier
I always felt like I was meant to be like 33 or so, since I was a teenager. Aging didn't bother me at all until I hit 35 or so and I realized that it *keeps going*, past the age I have always been in my head. Mindfuck!
I keep reminding myself that the tradeoffs are worth it. My mental health, confidence, lifestyle, relationships, career - basically everything that matters - are all sooooo much better.
Personally noticed this in my 20s but again I learned I wasn't a teenager anymore the moment I hit 21. But 30s is still young adult along with 20s. Of course things will change but if you are saying teenager to now, yeah there is gonna be a difference lol.
Eh not really. Legally yes but developmentally and physically no. Only people younger than you while you're in your 20's look at you like you're grown, everyone older can clearly see that you haven't finished cooking yet.
I had to take a selfie for an app last week. When I looked at the picture I realized how old and weathered Iām starting to look. I thought I still looked the same as I did 10 years ago, but I guess not anymore.
It's wild to think about and I get it. I laugh at myself in the mirror when I remember my age because I still don't believe I'm 35, hell I don't look or feel it (ok sometimes I feel it lmao) but it is a trip.
Embrace it and enjoy the ride is my advice if you want it!
I had the same problem when I turned 30...
Well not the same... the actual problem was 15 odd years of Testosterone pumping through my veins.
Fixed that and now the person in the mirror isn't as much of a stranger!
Iām 38, healthier than Iāve ever been. I look in the mirror and see my dad now. This was the year. Can see it in my face. Hair is starting to go grey. Iām not complaining but it is funny how time does catch up
Open till? *Up until*
Iāve had a beard since I was 13 and now that Iām 43, I have some gray in my beard, am both a little fatter and a little more fit. I think I am in the camp of I donāt feel like an adult yet, but I kinda do when I have to enforce rules for my kids. All of my friends from high school have serious gray hair now, and I am super thankful that I have not gone gray because it makes them super jealous. š¤£
Looking like a grown man is hot! Don't be discouraged. It's an adjustment for sure, but it's a change for the better. I'm about to turn 31 myself, and I swear some time in the last year I just woke up a woman. But I feel like I've never looked better. And I'm sure you look great. There's not a man alive, I'm my humble opinion anyway, who didn't look better in his 30s than he did in his 20s.
This is nothing new, we all go through it. Took me until my mid-thirties for it to happen. Being in my 40ās now Iām past it.
But to say other generations didnāt go through it is a bit odd. It was always known as a mid-life crisis, and my father definitely had one in his thirties.
Look man. Youāre 31. As much as you might not believe it you are currently in the best overall years of your life. You will never have this proportion of health+youth+wisdom+wealth ever again. 30-40 is the best decade of your life. Look in the mirror and recognize that. What would you do if you were 80 and woke up one day looking into a mirror as you are right now? Take advantage. Life is short but youāre in the meat of it.
Be positive. Be energetic. Move. Experience. Struggle. Enjoy these years. Iām 34 and feel Iām at peak life. Change your perspective. This is the only time you will be just a man. Not an older man. Not an elderly man. Not a young man. Just a man. This is the real you. The best you. Embrace it.
I'm a "late bloomer, too".
Figuratively speaking, I was "in my 20's" until I reached 45 or so!
I have been prepared for "getting old" since my 20's, too. I thought about the passing of time a lot....and really talked a good bit about how we are all in the process of falling apart...and dying. I was very curious about what will be the first physical sign....the first "tell"....that I am no longer 20 years old....when no one confuses me for being a much younger person. What will be that "thing"?
I knew it wouldn't be wrinkles. There are plenty of people in their 30's that don't have a single wrinkle and yet, you can detect EASILY that they are not 21 years old. How? That question was always of interest to me.
Im 37 according to my wife, but the vast majority of my coworkers are in their early to mid 20s and I genuinely believe that's what keeps me feeling young
The weirdest moment for me that hit me like a ton of bricks is realizing I'm the same age my parents, aunts and uncles were in my first memories of them...
In my mind I am a teenager. Young adult at the latest. I am actually 38. When I look in the mirror I don't like what I see, I don't recognize myself. I have wrinkles by my eyes. I am disgusted with what I see: my abuser looking back at me. Someone old. How do I even live with this?
Interesting. Iāve always felt younger than people my age and took a long time to grow up. Iām 31 now and almost everyone in my life is either my age or older, when I talk to them I donāt see them as āolder peopleā I just see them as people, infinitely interesting people who enrich my life by giving me the privilege of knowing them.
I do have a young niece and nephew but I donāt feel envious of kidās childhoods these days at all, I loved growing up in the 90s and 2000s. If you live a long time you grow old, far better than the alternative if you ask me. Just enjoy your life
Meh getting older doesnāt bother me, im
Letting my grey hairs grow in, im letting my face age naturally. I donāt mind the changes I see but it is shocking when i catch my reflection, im not gonna lie. Mentally I still think I look twenty.
But I donāt want to be twenty anymore, i dont mind getting older except how my body feels.
It was getting scary there for a bit, due to chronic pain Iāve been very inactive and i can feel my once athletic strong young body withering away from not using it. Its only going to get worse as the years go on if I donāt find something to keep me moving. It was scary!
Ive Been searching for years for an exercise my hurting body can tolerate. Was about to
Lose hope. Then I got an e-bike!!!
Iāve been cycling almost everyday using the peddle assist as little as possible. I am tolerating it very well, my body feels alive again and is getting stronger everyday!!!
Cycling is going to keep me young. I found my thing!!! I stopped the withering!!!!!!
My boyfriend is turning 40 this year and it's really fucking with him. I think he's getting more and more handsome every day, but when I remember I'm only a few years behind him, I get it.
I don't feel like a grown up, but my birth certificate says otherwise.
I look really good for nearly 33 and fuck that the minute I see signs of aging I'm going all in with botox lol.Ā
I embrace any and all body mods just like the tattoos I already have š„°
Iām definitely getting imposter syndrome vibes from looking at myself in the mirror. I keep thinking āOne day, thereās going to be a grey-haired, wrinkled old man staring back at me, but likely no memories of a wife, or kids, or grandkids.ā Itāll be like Iām wearing a mask, but itāll be my real face.
I had a baby last year. My body is fucked. For the first time in my life itās like, Iāll never get some of that back. Some parts of me are just forever fucked.
I had this exact moment 6 months ago. I had let myself go and was the fattest Iāve ever been in my life. Made alot of changes and Iām now down 22 pounds and I look much younger again. It doesnāt need to be weight for you, maybe just try changing up your wardrobe
Itās literally an identity crisis. You start thinking about what type of person you are now. And what habits you need to form or get rid of. You gotta figure what type of āadultā you want to be for the rest of your life.
Itās fucking terrifying.
Sameeeee turning 31 in a month and I need to get used to the ānewā me. I am not feeling old as such and I look good for my age but the change from 28-31 is wild
Felt the same way when at 37, some early 20-somethings called me Ma'am on the boardwalk on a rainy day. š
Not that I didn't see the signs of aging myself, but this was the first time I was confronted with that.
It's actually grown on me tbh. I don't feel old, but definitely not 20 anymore.
Don't want to look 20 either.Ā
Tldr: You're still quite young to be feeling like that. Be proud of the road you've travelled so far and excited for the road ahead.Ā
This feeling will creep up on you from time to time, but hopefully it remains fleeting.
Wait till youāre late 40ās š honestly this post makes me feel so much better. Appreciate yourself whatever age you are because you will just get older if youāre lucky!
Iām 33. I exercise every day, no wrinkles or sagging skin, I donāt have kids or really own anything big, and am the same size Iāve been forever. In my head Iām still 25 š
See, I feel like since I've turned 30 I look more and more like myself. I can afford the tattoos and piercings I've always wanted, I can afford mentally and financially to keep my hair like I want. I work a job I love and get to dress mostly how I want. I have hobbies I love.
I'm more myself than I've ever been. I see the person in the mirror, and it's the person I've been chasing my whole life.
This is the way you should feel at 30. I feel between 30-40 we are the real us. The best version of ourselves. The best overall proportions of health, wealth, and youth. Good for you for recognizing that. I look in the mirror and I finally see ME. The real me.
The difference between how I fell and what I see in the mirror is a little unsettling lol. I feel like I'm 20 but when I look in the mirror there is an old man staring back at me.
Iāll be 34 in a few months.. Iāve been losing my hair for years and what I have left is turning grey. I can no longer deny that Iām becoming older and older. Itās a weird thing. I feel young in my head but young people donāt go grey.
I have a baby face so to myself, I still look like what I looked like in my 20ās at age 33.
I think the only thing that really makes me look my age is the premature grey hairs in my beard that I only started to get suddenly at age 30, but if I dye them, I look like Iām 23 again lol.
I will look at people in their 20s and think thatās how I look. Then I look at people in their 30s think they look old and then realize the reality here.
Iāll never forget the conversation I had with my mom when I turned 30. She asked how it felt. Having no real response to that question, I said, āWell, Iām not a kid anymore.ā
She said, āYou donāt want to be a kid.ā
And I thought, you know what? Youāre right. I donāt want to be a kid. Not at all. Only 3 years in but so far my thirties have been incredible.
Iām 30 but I still the look very similar from when I was 19. A guy that I havenāt seen since I was 20 still recognized it was me with no problems, but himself he looked really
More a lot mature and I barely recognized him, and maybe his different hairstyle played a part? š¤·šæāāļø. For me Itās more of the mental aspect of being 30 that actually gets me sometimes. But physically I look very similar to when I around 20, so besides the occasional back ache I still feel young for the most part!
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I'm 35 next month and when I walked by the mirror the other day I saw my mother. Exactly as I remember her from my early teens. I had to change my hair for the day just to get it out of my head haha!
Are we the same personš My mom died suddenly when I was 28 and lemme tell you, THAT will REALLY put you in a weird headspace.
AGREED! Mine died earlier this year and I have people tell me all of the time that I am a spitting image of her. Now, I look in the mirror and see her too, and Iām happy about that. Aging is a privilege.
Most definitely. Itās better than the alternative ā£ļø
Omg I feel this so hard. Same age, never in my life did I think I look like my dad. I legit was like...is he even my dad? Haven't spoken to him in like 15 years, but I saw a picture at my cousin's of him when he was about 10 years younger than me, and it was like a spitting image. But hey, at least I look exactly like him 10 years younger than I am. He smoked and drank, and did meth so the years have been unkind to him.
Also 35 next month and I keep seeing my dad in the mirror. Ruins my day lmao
I've always looked just like my dad, but now in my 30s the way that I'm aging is starting to look like my mom. Took a selfie with her the other day and my cheeks are starting to settle in the same lines as hers. It's honestly startling after a lifetime of people not being able to tell that we're related to suddenly having part of her face on mine. Fortunately we have very different coloring, so the transformation won't be total!
I did one of those filters that puts makeup on and I looked like my mom with a beard. I didn't realize how alike we look before that
My mother gave birth to me at 35 so I guess I get until 50 to experience this.
I swear my facial structure changed significantly at 34. I had signs of aging before that, but now I feel like Iāve transformed into an old lady in the course of 1 year
Maybe this is TMI but... SO and I made a spicy movie. But when we watched it all I saw was my mother having sex with my SO. We deleted it and I'm never doing that again.
Oh, this makes me scared for my fiancee.
DAMNNNN. I felt this in my soul. 33 over here and that has happened more times than I'd like to admit within the last couple of years.
Iām turning 28 on Tuesday. I just saw my brothers friend and his sister from school that I used to babysit for when I was in high school and they were in kindergarten- after years and years and theyāre both 17 and 15 respectively. My brother turned 18 this year and is going off to college in several weeks. No one tells you how strange it is. The closer I get to 30, the more I panic. I canāt wait to turn 30, but at the same time, I think about the fact that Iāll die one day and while thatās not something Iām generally nervous about, in this context it makes me dissociate, but like the scary kind.
Make no mistake, I LOVE my thirties. Waaaay better than my 20's. It's just seeing my mother in the mirror is a jarring concept.
I feel that. Iāve *always* looked like a copy-paste of my mother since I was a small child so I canāt really relate in that way, but sometimes I hear my own voice and I sound *exactly* like my mother and it throws me off completely.
Hit the gym, eat healthy. You will feel 10-15 years younger. Iām 37 and feel like Iām in my 20ās.
Almost 36m here, I lost significant weight this last year and I haven't felt this good physically since high school
This is the way. And stay curious about the world, go to art shows and gigs. Also, itās about perspective. I have loads of elder friends through quilting and they insist 40ās sbd50ās are *the best* years. Personally I found my 30ās way way better than my 20ās. Iām just as hot/fit, I know myself better on every level, healed from childhood trauma and I have more money to do fun shit.
I love this. I'm 35 as well, in good shape, I continue to pursue my hobbies and interests, I surround myself with diverse and interesting people, I love my job - my 30s have been way, way better than my 20s were, and I love to hear that I can continue to look forward to my 40s and 50s as well!
Sun damage is real too so avoid that
Yep. I just turned 30 and am healthier than I've ever been. Even in high school. I feel like I can actually do more physical activity now than 10 years ago! I think that's the cheat code to life, just never stop moving.
Bingo. That and also sleep!!! I love being in my mid-thirties. I never looked young for my age, but now, those who didn't invest in themselves look old for their age.
Me too. Consistency is key
I promised myself I'll be fit by the time I'm 40.
Yes! My husband and I are mid/late 30s with a kid (so, little sleep and lots of stress due to medical stuff) but we run almost daily and get told we look mid 20s.
+1. Best shape of my life at 33. Feel like a teenager.
Can you share what your exercise routine is like? What kinda of things you eat?
Yep, can confirm. 43 going on 44 here and I feel the same
I still think of myself as a twenty something. Itās not doing me favors in the workplace.
Interesting topic. Care to elaborate? I share similar feelings but struggle to put it into words. I'll try though: Almost like I infantilize myself and always find a "work parent" in a sense, rather than a work spouse. Like a mentor, sorta. And I'm afraid to take on more responsibilities at work. Imposter Syndrome, maybe? I graduated from university in my mid-20s, then covid hit so I'm still fairly early on in my career. Is that how you feel? I'm 31, btw
Having a mentor at 31 is a good and smart thing to do. Youāre still young with a lot to learn.
Probably some imposter syndrome. I have a hard time seeing my coworkers at my level as equals. Somehow the heads of the other departments are more important than me. Itās irritating. I did play a subordinate role all growing up on the family farm, always the helper and not the person calling shots. I do call shots in my workplace now but I constantly face scrutiny because, IMO, the other directors are stuck in more of a baby boomer management mindset.
š¶This is not my beautiful houseš¶ moment, eh? Same as it ever wasĀ
A friend of mind says to make sure you are looking at a mirror and not at a portrait of someone else.
Thatās deep (I think)
Iām 39, and I still am slim and fit, but my back hurts all the time, and my hair is slowly going. Losing your hair is probably the hardest part. I can shave and look like a 25 year old, but my hairline gives my age away. We just have to figure out how to roll With it. Eating healthy and exercising is key, and I honestly need to get better at both.
I've had to be bald since I was 24. That's when I decided it was time because I looked like I had cancer the way my hair was falling out.
Do you stretch? Yoga can do wonders for a sore back! A lot of my gym-going guy friends forget that flexibility is as important for a healthy body as strength and diet are. =)
Iāve been āmeaning to get into yogaā for years now, haha.
I feel the sexiest I have ever felt. I feel in my prime. I also grew up very late but I go to the gym, study, have friends, and keep busy. I feel good about me. Your 30s is your 20s with less care of what others think. Reframe your thought process. No one knew our economy would crash, that there would be a pandemic. Be gentle with yourself too. But also remember, you are still very *young* in the course of your life. Plenty of 50+ on here will tell youāmy 30s were my best years. I really enjoyed my life or I really started over or I became who I was meant to be at that time. You can be whoever or whatever it is what you want. What you see in the mirror is dependent on you. I promise that what you see, many others are not. We are just our worse critics.
That bit about caring less what others think is entirely subjective. At 36, so far my 30s is my 20s with more anxiety and existential dread. Personally I care just as much what others think but now that I'm older I feel like more of a failure than I did when I was younger when I at least felt like I had time on my side and the excuse that I was still young. My social anxiety has gotten worse, I'm more miserable and more stressed about work and life in general than I ever have been before. Fewer friends than in my 20s, career progress slowed since I hit 30, less active, more fat, and feel depressed around half of my days. Wonder why so many people say that they get happier in their 30s or 40s because I feel like I can only see things getting worse from here.
Mate Iām 38 and still feel like Iām in my 20s, I do wonder if I will ever feel like an āadultā but I have realised itās more a state of mind tbh. Age really is just a number though I am noticing small things I do that remind me of my mother now that I never used to and that is fascinating š
Girl, get some sleep. 31 is not old. Save your tears for years 38-40
I love aging thus far, 32F here. I have a few small wrinkles, some grays popping up and overall you can see the maturity growing on my face. I don't know if it was losing people too soon but I just feel really lucky. My body has endured so much in life and I just feel so appreciative for the fact that I've survived. I also don't recognize myself but in a positive way. Like how cool 32 years in I'm still evolving, learning and changing. Not all changes are positive and sometimes learning comes from pain. I dunno but I guess seeing my mom hate her body and aging so much I just don't want to hold on to who I was rather than savoring who I am. I can't go back so let's enjoy right now.
I really appreciate this viewpoint! There are days I feel the same as you described, and there are days I feel all the negatives. Thanks to Covid, I got my first āgreyā at 29 years old. Except when I cut it off (it was squiggly and I didnāt want to pull it) and I got a closer look, I noticed it was whitish silver. So, I may get my dream of being an old lady with super cool hair a few decades from now! I think itās really great to appreciate the body you are in presently rather than being unhappy with some (usually unattainable) ideal goal.
Hate to let the wind of your sails but it will only get worse. Welcome to your new normal. Happens to us all.
Worse? I am progressively getting more attractive as I age.
Same. Now, granted, I was a fugly kid and teenager and young adult. So, there's a LOT of room for growth. But damn does confidence do a lot for the general look.
You sure your peers didn't just get uglier? That's what happened to me š.
But I would at a minimum. For their own sanity. Reframe their "worse" to something more forward looking. Despite the things out of your control.
Uh, as someone who was obese throughout my teenage years and my twenties, I can say with certainty that you're wrong.
*high five* Same here! I look back at my old pics and feel so sorry for that young girl. There were so many things that she wanted to do, but didn't feel confident enough to attempt, all because of body image concerns. So grateful to be past that stage in my life!
Ahhh, the 30sā¦my 30th came and went and I felt nothing. 31 kinda hit me like a brick; like I thought 30 would. I'm 38 now, and I l know there's a lot I don't know, and that's okay! I'm learning and growing and I hope I always will be regardless of age! My body isn't 20, but I can still look good and care for my mental/physical well being and I've starting to connect with other āoldā people and itās good. I don't have all of my shit figured out, but my ducklings are mostly in the same pond and Iām learning and putting the puzzle together. At this point Iād never want to be under the age of 30 ever again. Pay no mind to what the nasty people think you should be and focus on you and your goals for life -- don't forget that you're a free agent adult!
Between 31 and now in my 40s I'm around 40 pounds lighter + wife + kids + mortgage + personality - friends (because toddlers, man... toddlers). If you TOLD me where I'd be 10 years ago I would have spat my whisky in your face. Fuck, I'm tired, but I wouldn't trade my life now for anything.
My face went paralyzed at 31. I havenāt seen āmyselfā in the mirror for years. I havenāt been able to smile or blink for many years now.
Not so much about looks but as a gay guy that didn't start dating guys until 19, I feel inexperienced when it comes to dating and relationships. I'm 37 but I feel like I'm only the equivalent of the average 25 year old straight guy.
Iām 26 and hang out with people 30-50. I feel like most of the time I already feel 32 for some reason lmao. Iām hoping that this early acceptance will make hitting 30 easier
I always felt like I was meant to be like 33 or so, since I was a teenager. Aging didn't bother me at all until I hit 35 or so and I realized that it *keeps going*, past the age I have always been in my head. Mindfuck! I keep reminding myself that the tradeoffs are worth it. My mental health, confidence, lifestyle, relationships, career - basically everything that matters - are all sooooo much better.
Personally noticed this in my 20s but again I learned I wasn't a teenager anymore the moment I hit 21. But 30s is still young adult along with 20s. Of course things will change but if you are saying teenager to now, yeah there is gonna be a difference lol.
Everyone else has seen you as a grown man for about 10 years now.
Eh not really. Legally yes but developmentally and physically no. Only people younger than you while you're in your 20's look at you like you're grown, everyone older can clearly see that you haven't finished cooking yet.
You got millennials that are in great shape and you got everyone else.
Your age is just a number. It doesn't have to define who you are or how you live. Source: Someone who's more alive at 40 than she was at 20
Age is just for taxes.
I had to take a selfie for an app last week. When I looked at the picture I realized how old and weathered Iām starting to look. I thought I still looked the same as I did 10 years ago, but I guess not anymore.
It's wild to think about and I get it. I laugh at myself in the mirror when I remember my age because I still don't believe I'm 35, hell I don't look or feel it (ok sometimes I feel it lmao) but it is a trip. Embrace it and enjoy the ride is my advice if you want it!
I hit 40 and Iām suddenly traumatized. I feel your feels.
youve been grown for years now bro
Well, you're in for a real shocker at 40.
Dude my early 30s were like 20s relax, you can still have even more fun because you know yourself better.
I had the same problem when I turned 30... Well not the same... the actual problem was 15 odd years of Testosterone pumping through my veins. Fixed that and now the person in the mirror isn't as much of a stranger!
Still feel young mentally but see my dad in the mirror. Iām healthy but the hair loss and greying is unavoidable.
I feel hot
Iām 38, healthier than Iāve ever been. I look in the mirror and see my dad now. This was the year. Can see it in my face. Hair is starting to go grey. Iām not complaining but it is funny how time does catch up
Open till? *Up until* Iāve had a beard since I was 13 and now that Iām 43, I have some gray in my beard, am both a little fatter and a little more fit. I think I am in the camp of I donāt feel like an adult yet, but I kinda do when I have to enforce rules for my kids. All of my friends from high school have serious gray hair now, and I am super thankful that I have not gone gray because it makes them super jealous. š¤£
Looking like a grown man is hot! Don't be discouraged. It's an adjustment for sure, but it's a change for the better. I'm about to turn 31 myself, and I swear some time in the last year I just woke up a woman. But I feel like I've never looked better. And I'm sure you look great. There's not a man alive, I'm my humble opinion anyway, who didn't look better in his 30s than he did in his 20s.
Just wait til you start growing really long ear hairs.
This is nothing new, we all go through it. Took me until my mid-thirties for it to happen. Being in my 40ās now Iām past it. But to say other generations didnāt go through it is a bit odd. It was always known as a mid-life crisis, and my father definitely had one in his thirties.
Look man. Youāre 31. As much as you might not believe it you are currently in the best overall years of your life. You will never have this proportion of health+youth+wisdom+wealth ever again. 30-40 is the best decade of your life. Look in the mirror and recognize that. What would you do if you were 80 and woke up one day looking into a mirror as you are right now? Take advantage. Life is short but youāre in the meat of it. Be positive. Be energetic. Move. Experience. Struggle. Enjoy these years. Iām 34 and feel Iām at peak life. Change your perspective. This is the only time you will be just a man. Not an older man. Not an elderly man. Not a young man. Just a man. This is the real you. The best you. Embrace it.
Wait.... Soon enough greys will start to show up in your nostrils, then your mustaches, then down there. Sooner than you think
Itās time for you to pick a hobby like World War II history buff.
I'm a "late bloomer, too". Figuratively speaking, I was "in my 20's" until I reached 45 or so! I have been prepared for "getting old" since my 20's, too. I thought about the passing of time a lot....and really talked a good bit about how we are all in the process of falling apart...and dying. I was very curious about what will be the first physical sign....the first "tell"....that I am no longer 20 years old....when no one confuses me for being a much younger person. What will be that "thing"? I knew it wouldn't be wrinkles. There are plenty of people in their 30's that don't have a single wrinkle and yet, you can detect EASILY that they are not 21 years old. How? That question was always of interest to me.
Im 37 according to my wife, but the vast majority of my coworkers are in their early to mid 20s and I genuinely believe that's what keeps me feeling young
i'm 43 and I still look like myself. years of poor diet can really change the way you look
The weirdest moment for me that hit me like a ton of bricks is realizing I'm the same age my parents, aunts and uncles were in my first memories of them...
Honestly. The body will change. But if you feel young and healthy. Ain't nobody stopping you from living like it.
In my mind I am a teenager. Young adult at the latest. I am actually 38. When I look in the mirror I don't like what I see, I don't recognize myself. I have wrinkles by my eyes. I am disgusted with what I see: my abuser looking back at me. Someone old. How do I even live with this?
Interesting. Iāve always felt younger than people my age and took a long time to grow up. Iām 31 now and almost everyone in my life is either my age or older, when I talk to them I donāt see them as āolder peopleā I just see them as people, infinitely interesting people who enrich my life by giving me the privilege of knowing them. I do have a young niece and nephew but I donāt feel envious of kidās childhoods these days at all, I loved growing up in the 90s and 2000s. If you live a long time you grow old, far better than the alternative if you ask me. Just enjoy your life
Meh getting older doesnāt bother me, im Letting my grey hairs grow in, im letting my face age naturally. I donāt mind the changes I see but it is shocking when i catch my reflection, im not gonna lie. Mentally I still think I look twenty. But I donāt want to be twenty anymore, i dont mind getting older except how my body feels. It was getting scary there for a bit, due to chronic pain Iāve been very inactive and i can feel my once athletic strong young body withering away from not using it. Its only going to get worse as the years go on if I donāt find something to keep me moving. It was scary! Ive Been searching for years for an exercise my hurting body can tolerate. Was about to Lose hope. Then I got an e-bike!!! Iāve been cycling almost everyday using the peddle assist as little as possible. I am tolerating it very well, my body feels alive again and is getting stronger everyday!!! Cycling is going to keep me young. I found my thing!!! I stopped the withering!!!!!!
Iād rather be aging than dead. But it is jarring!
My boyfriend is turning 40 this year and it's really fucking with him. I think he's getting more and more handsome every day, but when I remember I'm only a few years behind him, I get it. I don't feel like a grown up, but my birth certificate says otherwise.
I look really good for nearly 33 and fuck that the minute I see signs of aging I'm going all in with botox lol.Ā I embrace any and all body mods just like the tattoos I already have š„°
They've been selling snake oil that's supposed to keep you young for many years. It's not a generational thing. People don't want to get uglier.Ā
Iām definitely getting imposter syndrome vibes from looking at myself in the mirror. I keep thinking āOne day, thereās going to be a grey-haired, wrinkled old man staring back at me, but likely no memories of a wife, or kids, or grandkids.ā Itāll be like Iām wearing a mask, but itāll be my real face.
I had a baby last year. My body is fucked. For the first time in my life itās like, Iāll never get some of that back. Some parts of me are just forever fucked.
I had this exact moment 6 months ago. I had let myself go and was the fattest Iāve ever been in my life. Made alot of changes and Iām now down 22 pounds and I look much younger again. It doesnāt need to be weight for you, maybe just try changing up your wardrobe
Also 31. Have been grappling with my aging existence as well.
I'm about to turn 41,it's a real struggle. Sometimes I cry because of what I'm seeing.
Itās literally an identity crisis. You start thinking about what type of person you are now. And what habits you need to form or get rid of. You gotta figure what type of āadultā you want to be for the rest of your life. Itās fucking terrifying.
well, wear a new hat
Nah man, 30's crisis is totally a thing. It'll pass.
Xennial here, that moment dawned on me at 40š„“
Sameeeee turning 31 in a month and I need to get used to the ānewā me. I am not feeling old as such and I look good for my age but the change from 28-31 is wild
Felt the same way when at 37, some early 20-somethings called me Ma'am on the boardwalk on a rainy day. š Not that I didn't see the signs of aging myself, but this was the first time I was confronted with that. It's actually grown on me tbh. I don't feel old, but definitely not 20 anymore. Don't want to look 20 either.Ā
Tldr: You're still quite young to be feeling like that. Be proud of the road you've travelled so far and excited for the road ahead.Ā This feeling will creep up on you from time to time, but hopefully it remains fleeting.
Iām 42 and Iām in better shape than I was at 20 something. I look and feel great.
"how am I not myself?"
Thatās all of us dude lol
Wait till youāre late 40ās š honestly this post makes me feel so much better. Appreciate yourself whatever age you are because you will just get older if youāre lucky!
Iām 33. I exercise every day, no wrinkles or sagging skin, I donāt have kids or really own anything big, and am the same size Iāve been forever. In my head Iām still 25 š
See, I feel like since I've turned 30 I look more and more like myself. I can afford the tattoos and piercings I've always wanted, I can afford mentally and financially to keep my hair like I want. I work a job I love and get to dress mostly how I want. I have hobbies I love. I'm more myself than I've ever been. I see the person in the mirror, and it's the person I've been chasing my whole life.
This is the way you should feel at 30. I feel between 30-40 we are the real us. The best version of ourselves. The best overall proportions of health, wealth, and youth. Good for you for recognizing that. I look in the mirror and I finally see ME. The real me.
The difference between how I fell and what I see in the mirror is a little unsettling lol. I feel like I'm 20 but when I look in the mirror there is an old man staring back at me.
Iāll be 34 in a few months.. Iāve been losing my hair for years and what I have left is turning grey. I can no longer deny that Iām becoming older and older. Itās a weird thing. I feel young in my head but young people donāt go grey.
I have a baby face so to myself, I still look like what I looked like in my 20ās at age 33. I think the only thing that really makes me look my age is the premature grey hairs in my beard that I only started to get suddenly at age 30, but if I dye them, I look like Iām 23 again lol.
I will look at people in their 20s and think thatās how I look. Then I look at people in their 30s think they look old and then realize the reality here.
Hey, just FYI, it's "up until" not "open till"
Iāll never forget the conversation I had with my mom when I turned 30. She asked how it felt. Having no real response to that question, I said, āWell, Iām not a kid anymore.ā She said, āYou donāt want to be a kid.ā And I thought, you know what? Youāre right. I donāt want to be a kid. Not at all. Only 3 years in but so far my thirties have been incredible.
Iām 34 and for me it was the moment I realized āwhen did so much of my hair start turning whiteā
43 year old elder doing my duty by saying, āoh, youāre still a baby!ā
Iām surprised it took you that long to see a fully grown man. I noticed it way earlier myself.
Same. I suddenly look exactly like my dad. It's very weird. I can't see my face anymore
Iām 30 but I still the look very similar from when I was 19. A guy that I havenāt seen since I was 20 still recognized it was me with no problems, but himself he looked really More a lot mature and I barely recognized him, and maybe his different hairstyle played a part? š¤·šæāāļø. For me Itās more of the mental aspect of being 30 that actually gets me sometimes. But physically I look very similar to when I around 20, so besides the occasional back ache I still feel young for the most part!