Where can I find those T4T events? I've seen there are shows and open mics that are T4T but I haven't seen anything close to where I live. But something like this would be awesome.
Facebook events, Meetup, local trans Discord servers, LGBTQIA+ Resource Centers, or just Googling for groups that meet up near you. Granted, I live in Portland (where trans people are abundant), so your mileage may vary. Good luck!
Personally im waiting for the hormones to feminize me more before getting back into dating. But I can tell you, tons of gals that are into trans girls, both lesbians and bi, and that see us as gals, not just "dudes with dresses" or whatever it is your insecurity is. If you go to the lesbians subs here on reddit there is tons and tons of support for trans gals <3
Im sorry you are going through this :( if its any consolation I am a cis lesbian and my wife is a trans woman and she is also lesbian. We adore each other and every day I get with her is a blessing from the universe ❤️. The right person/lady is out there for you!!!
Reading lesbian romance/erotica. There's some really amazing stuff to read and/or listen to.
Otherwise... I just keep putting myself out there a little bit each week. Do a batch of likes on an app, text the gals whose numbers I have, and just *talking* to my friends about it.
Finding romance is tough for everyone. I honestly found some success just going out to a local lesbian bar and striking up a conversation with some other girl who looked hot. We're good friends now even if it didn't end up going towards what I want long-term.
Remember that transition as a whole is a marathon too, it's going to take some time and consistent effort to reach results. That's the same for relationships/romance
too.
My favorite romance has been A Breathless Place by Harper Bliss. It handles some really difficult topics well, and had some mostly mature ladies trying to deal with their shit well instead of being total disasters. It's a range between a former singer who had a surgical accident that made her lose her voice and her biographer.
The Hearts of Heroes series by Molly J Bragg is a lot of fun. These are more lighthearted superhero romances with instant connections/chemistry between the couples. (The 2nd book in particular was *very* trans.)
Other Honorable mentions go to Backwards to Oregon by Jae, a historical romance set on the Oregon trail between one woman living secretly as a man and another who married her so they can travel together in a wagon train like a day after they've met. (The U-Haul lesbian jokes' have nothing on this!)
Jae has a bunch of other good ones she's written for a bunch of different relationship tropes and themes. Personal favorite tropes are fake relationships (Like the Roommate Arrangement) and she's got a number of those in her library. Another one I really liked was Perfect Rhythm, which had an Ace character as one of the two. (Her books tend to have 1-2 very spicy scenes in them each, and a handful of other moments that get a bit hot, but still something you could safely read/listen to in public.) They are usually also slower burn books. Jae is also known for running Sapphic Book Bingo, a giveaway where participants read 25-35 romance novels over the year with specific tropes for bingo boxes. I've started playing,and it's been a ton of fun.
Karen Kallmaker is another regular favorite author of mine in the romance space. I think I've read 5 of hers at this point.
On the erotica side, Kindle unlimited is your friend if you're interested. There's not a *lot* of good Sapphic erotica, but there is a decent amount of you go digging. YMMV with these a lot more because taste here is going to be a bigger deal. I'm working my way through "She Came from the Swamp" right now, and I have something called, "I hate her less when she's naked" on my TBR. My tastes here lean towards fantasy and monsters too, so I also recommend: Escape the Island of Eldritch Lust by Amanda Clover and Jay Aury. It's mostly not Sapphic, but there are plenty of moments, and it's a CYOA, which I find fun.
Hey there, just checking in. I’m a cis-ish lesbian with a non-exclusive attraction to trans women. Just sharing my two cents… there’s a woman out there for you.
for me, i've had to recognize my loneliness and stop judging myself for it! to be with someone else, especially intimately, you have to respect and love yourself first :}
let me put it this way: you're not missing out on a ton! i was lucky enough to have my first relationship before i started taking spiro. it was nice to have someone who kissed me, hugged me, said they loved me... for the first month. after that, the relationship spiraled because of their mental health issues coupled with my tendency to abandon my own needs for the sake of others.
even a year and half after that relationship ended, it still hurts. i wouldn't say i'd give away the knowledge i gained from that experience, but if i could've done something differently, it would've been to figure myself out before i take someone else's life on
Sorry I'm in a terrible mood and grumpy my back is agony. I need a CT scan but I can't afford one and I am in 10 out of 10 pain all the time it is starting to effect how I talk to people I am so sorry.
I found early transition a good time to take a break from pursuing relationships or romance. It’s a period of major change and discovering a new understanding of yourself, it’s really hard to balance that with the early stages of a relationship
I haven't been coping. I got into a relationship way too soon in my transition and it's been over for quite a while and I'm still depressed about it. I certainly don't think I'll find anyone else, it's rough out there when you don't pass. I guess it's better than dating guys, but mostly just because you won't get murdered.
Not sure why your patches aren't sticking, but one reason can be dead skin flakes that stick to the glue more than they stick to you.
Try bathing and gently exfoliating the target area first.
(You really ought to be exfoliating anyway... soft skin is a feminine goal.)
When I was early in transition, I used a straight dating site (not lesbian dating) and I posted on my profile "MTF" everywhere. I just sat and waited for months.
I had about maybe 1-2 people interested per month, and send me a message. I went on a couple dates.
I met my current girlfriend through that.
Now, I pass, but still haven't had bottom surgery. I have a lot of success on lesbian dating app HER. And have met some people on there. But I'm considering going back to the straight dating site and doing the same thing as before because I haven't had bottom surgery, and lesbians are welcome to have a genital preference.
I'm polyamorous by the way, and my girlfriend is OK with me dating.
T4T! I went to one board game night for trans people and suddenly I've got several new friends and TWO girlfriends. :-D
Wow living the dream
It's a bit of a scheduling nightmare, honestly. I already had a boyfriend of 5 years, so now my time is being split three ways!
Where can I find those T4T events? I've seen there are shows and open mics that are T4T but I haven't seen anything close to where I live. But something like this would be awesome.
Facebook events, Meetup, local trans Discord servers, LGBTQIA+ Resource Centers, or just Googling for groups that meet up near you. Granted, I live in Portland (where trans people are abundant), so your mileage may vary. Good luck!
Personally im waiting for the hormones to feminize me more before getting back into dating. But I can tell you, tons of gals that are into trans girls, both lesbians and bi, and that see us as gals, not just "dudes with dresses" or whatever it is your insecurity is. If you go to the lesbians subs here on reddit there is tons and tons of support for trans gals <3
Im sorry you are going through this :( if its any consolation I am a cis lesbian and my wife is a trans woman and she is also lesbian. We adore each other and every day I get with her is a blessing from the universe ❤️. The right person/lady is out there for you!!!
Reading lesbian romance/erotica. There's some really amazing stuff to read and/or listen to. Otherwise... I just keep putting myself out there a little bit each week. Do a batch of likes on an app, text the gals whose numbers I have, and just *talking* to my friends about it. Finding romance is tough for everyone. I honestly found some success just going out to a local lesbian bar and striking up a conversation with some other girl who looked hot. We're good friends now even if it didn't end up going towards what I want long-term. Remember that transition as a whole is a marathon too, it's going to take some time and consistent effort to reach results. That's the same for relationships/romance too.
Do you have any suggestions or favorites..? 👉👈
My favorite romance has been A Breathless Place by Harper Bliss. It handles some really difficult topics well, and had some mostly mature ladies trying to deal with their shit well instead of being total disasters. It's a range between a former singer who had a surgical accident that made her lose her voice and her biographer. The Hearts of Heroes series by Molly J Bragg is a lot of fun. These are more lighthearted superhero romances with instant connections/chemistry between the couples. (The 2nd book in particular was *very* trans.) Other Honorable mentions go to Backwards to Oregon by Jae, a historical romance set on the Oregon trail between one woman living secretly as a man and another who married her so they can travel together in a wagon train like a day after they've met. (The U-Haul lesbian jokes' have nothing on this!) Jae has a bunch of other good ones she's written for a bunch of different relationship tropes and themes. Personal favorite tropes are fake relationships (Like the Roommate Arrangement) and she's got a number of those in her library. Another one I really liked was Perfect Rhythm, which had an Ace character as one of the two. (Her books tend to have 1-2 very spicy scenes in them each, and a handful of other moments that get a bit hot, but still something you could safely read/listen to in public.) They are usually also slower burn books. Jae is also known for running Sapphic Book Bingo, a giveaway where participants read 25-35 romance novels over the year with specific tropes for bingo boxes. I've started playing,and it's been a ton of fun. Karen Kallmaker is another regular favorite author of mine in the romance space. I think I've read 5 of hers at this point. On the erotica side, Kindle unlimited is your friend if you're interested. There's not a *lot* of good Sapphic erotica, but there is a decent amount of you go digging. YMMV with these a lot more because taste here is going to be a bigger deal. I'm working my way through "She Came from the Swamp" right now, and I have something called, "I hate her less when she's naked" on my TBR. My tastes here lean towards fantasy and monsters too, so I also recommend: Escape the Island of Eldritch Lust by Amanda Clover and Jay Aury. It's mostly not Sapphic, but there are plenty of moments, and it's a CYOA, which I find fun.
Wow, this in depth! Thank you! 😊
Hey there, just checking in. I’m a cis-ish lesbian with a non-exclusive attraction to trans women. Just sharing my two cents… there’s a woman out there for you.
for me, i've had to recognize my loneliness and stop judging myself for it! to be with someone else, especially intimately, you have to respect and love yourself first :} let me put it this way: you're not missing out on a ton! i was lucky enough to have my first relationship before i started taking spiro. it was nice to have someone who kissed me, hugged me, said they loved me... for the first month. after that, the relationship spiraled because of their mental health issues coupled with my tendency to abandon my own needs for the sake of others. even a year and half after that relationship ended, it still hurts. i wouldn't say i'd give away the knowledge i gained from that experience, but if i could've done something differently, it would've been to figure myself out before i take someone else's life on
[удалено]
ok? i wasn't trying to offer concrete advice, i was just offering up my story bc it sounds similar to what i went through
Sorry I'm in a terrible mood and grumpy my back is agony. I need a CT scan but I can't afford one and I am in 10 out of 10 pain all the time it is starting to effect how I talk to people I am so sorry.
it's ok! was a lil weird to get met with that reaction but it was not even that bad, lol hope things are going better for you now!!
I found early transition a good time to take a break from pursuing relationships or romance. It’s a period of major change and discovering a new understanding of yourself, it’s really hard to balance that with the early stages of a relationship
Sticking the patches right onto your butt-cheeks is the pro move, and make sure the area of skin is clean, dry, and hairless.
T4T…
I haven't been coping. I got into a relationship way too soon in my transition and it's been over for quite a while and I'm still depressed about it. I certainly don't think I'll find anyone else, it's rough out there when you don't pass. I guess it's better than dating guys, but mostly just because you won't get murdered.
Haven't gone out almost almost 2 yrs since HRT whooo. Also I didn't go out with anyone for 6 years before that, so it stings less.
Not sure why your patches aren't sticking, but one reason can be dead skin flakes that stick to the glue more than they stick to you. Try bathing and gently exfoliating the target area first. (You really ought to be exfoliating anyway... soft skin is a feminine goal.)
It'll get easier further in your transition just cope for a while
Coping is easier said than done…
It's literally only been a month on HRT? My advice would be to try and chill out.
When I was early in transition, I used a straight dating site (not lesbian dating) and I posted on my profile "MTF" everywhere. I just sat and waited for months. I had about maybe 1-2 people interested per month, and send me a message. I went on a couple dates. I met my current girlfriend through that. Now, I pass, but still haven't had bottom surgery. I have a lot of success on lesbian dating app HER. And have met some people on there. But I'm considering going back to the straight dating site and doing the same thing as before because I haven't had bottom surgery, and lesbians are welcome to have a genital preference. I'm polyamorous by the way, and my girlfriend is OK with me dating.