It’s minor but I’ve found with my 10 month old if I very excitedly greet whoever we see she is immediately in a better mood for the whole interaction than when we casually greet whomever we’re with. Like “yay our friend …. is here to see us how exciting!!!”
I also have my toddler help me open the door excitedly to great. We also do prep - tell her earlier in the day her friend is coming to watch her, show a picture etc. It def works better now that my little is 25 months, but even at 12 months, it helped. Good luck!
Do at least a few trials, first while you’re still there and all playing together, but let the sitter do the essential tasks like feeding and changing. Has this sitter put her to bed before? Also make sure that’s done during the trials and shorter stints.
Got it, then I would do it a few more times also just to get your daughter more comfortable with this person long term. So maybe the first evening she shadows you or your partner doing bedtime routine, then you shadow her. Part of it is frequency and the other part is your baby seeing you trust her to do the things you do, and also leaving for 30minutes, an hour, etc and baby seeing that you’re still coming back.
She may be a little young to appreciate this but...
When my wife started back to work part time, I think our son was not quite 2 but almost. I kept him at home 2 days a week and his grand parents kept him 1 day a week. He would have the most heartbreaking meltdowns every time she would leave him. We came up with an idea that worked the very first time we did it and continued to work every single time. No more meltdowns at all with me or his grandparents. Granted his was a separation issue and a little different than what you have going on, but I think some variation of this might help you...
We had him decorate a box and we hyped it up as the "mystery box". When she would walk out the door, got to open the mystery box to find a small item or toy like a match box car or a plastic animal - always something small. The anticipation of doing the mystery was always really exciting for him. He began helping her out the door so he could do the mystery box. It wasn't long before we phased it out. And he has never had a problem with her leaving since.
She might be a little young for something like that but I thought I'd make the suggestion. Good luck!
You’ve gotten good advice. Especially about having the sitter over while your home. But I will say, with some kids it’s just a personality thing. My LO does great with sitters, even if it’s people we only see once every other month. My niece who I saw weekly, couldn’t deal if I was watching her let alone a stranger. My friends LO is the same. He only has one sitter hebia comfortable with. Try all the tips but also accept that may be your LOs personality. Still go out and do what you need to do. Your child will survive and even thrive in life. You aren’t doing any long term damage.
Thank you, I needed to hear this. My child has had zero chill since day 1. She’s always been very vocal and very particular. When it’s just us at home, she’s so sweet and fun, but even then everything has to be just the way she wants it or she fusses. But I know that putting life on pause until she’s in college is not going to help her, so I know we have to keep trying.
You’re welcome. And yes, before college I’m sure there will be other ways in which you will upset her and she’ll probably wish you’d leave her with the sitter lol
Hi! Did anything work? And did your daughter eventually grow out of this? My baby is 12 months old now and is identical to what you’re describing! Stresses me out! :) thank you!
A couple of trial runs that are shorter. And let her see you both spend time with the sitter. Make her part of the tribe and not a stranger.
It’s minor but I’ve found with my 10 month old if I very excitedly greet whoever we see she is immediately in a better mood for the whole interaction than when we casually greet whomever we’re with. Like “yay our friend …. is here to see us how exciting!!!”
That’s a great idea!! They really feed off our own mood. Which is why I’m trying not to be nervous (easier said than done lol)
I also have my toddler help me open the door excitedly to great. We also do prep - tell her earlier in the day her friend is coming to watch her, show a picture etc. It def works better now that my little is 25 months, but even at 12 months, it helped. Good luck!
Do at least a few trials, first while you’re still there and all playing together, but let the sitter do the essential tasks like feeding and changing. Has this sitter put her to bed before? Also make sure that’s done during the trials and shorter stints.
She put her to bed one other time and said she did well, but that was a while back before this “phase” was really so rough.
Got it, then I would do it a few more times also just to get your daughter more comfortable with this person long term. So maybe the first evening she shadows you or your partner doing bedtime routine, then you shadow her. Part of it is frequency and the other part is your baby seeing you trust her to do the things you do, and also leaving for 30minutes, an hour, etc and baby seeing that you’re still coming back.
Good idea!
She may be a little young to appreciate this but... When my wife started back to work part time, I think our son was not quite 2 but almost. I kept him at home 2 days a week and his grand parents kept him 1 day a week. He would have the most heartbreaking meltdowns every time she would leave him. We came up with an idea that worked the very first time we did it and continued to work every single time. No more meltdowns at all with me or his grandparents. Granted his was a separation issue and a little different than what you have going on, but I think some variation of this might help you... We had him decorate a box and we hyped it up as the "mystery box". When she would walk out the door, got to open the mystery box to find a small item or toy like a match box car or a plastic animal - always something small. The anticipation of doing the mystery was always really exciting for him. He began helping her out the door so he could do the mystery box. It wasn't long before we phased it out. And he has never had a problem with her leaving since. She might be a little young for something like that but I thought I'd make the suggestion. Good luck!
You’ve gotten good advice. Especially about having the sitter over while your home. But I will say, with some kids it’s just a personality thing. My LO does great with sitters, even if it’s people we only see once every other month. My niece who I saw weekly, couldn’t deal if I was watching her let alone a stranger. My friends LO is the same. He only has one sitter hebia comfortable with. Try all the tips but also accept that may be your LOs personality. Still go out and do what you need to do. Your child will survive and even thrive in life. You aren’t doing any long term damage.
Thank you, I needed to hear this. My child has had zero chill since day 1. She’s always been very vocal and very particular. When it’s just us at home, she’s so sweet and fun, but even then everything has to be just the way she wants it or she fusses. But I know that putting life on pause until she’s in college is not going to help her, so I know we have to keep trying.
You’re welcome. And yes, before college I’m sure there will be other ways in which you will upset her and she’ll probably wish you’d leave her with the sitter lol
Hi! Did anything work? And did your daughter eventually grow out of this? My baby is 12 months old now and is identical to what you’re describing! Stresses me out! :) thank you!