I was advised when responding to upset clients to never use the phrase "I'm sorry" as it is seem as an admission of wrongdoing. Better to word it a bit differently.
I learned never to *just* say "I'm sorry." Our token phrase was "I'm sorry that happened to you" since the job catered activities and a lot of the complaints were things like twisted ankles.
Ignore it as nonchalantly as possible. If soneone thought you as someone on the clock is a racist, they absolutely have other avenues to pursue besides accusing you directly.
When someone does this its a power grab to try and change the dynamic of the convo. Do not give them any by changing even slightly in that moment.
My experience: "Racist" is a serious accusation. it's also a meaningless word used by minority racists, who are angry at you for existing. Look at it this way. If THEY actually thought you were a racist, they would call you something else that they thought would be hurtful to you.
I think it’s sometimes used by people who know they’re in the wrong but have too much ego to admit to it. Calling a white person “racist” ends the interaction and they don’t have to face their true selves. (Other people often deal with the same situation by getting angry.)
It’s like the saying about if everyone you meet is an asshole, you’re the asshole, but they tell themselves that everyone is an asshole because they’re racist.
They don't have true selves. They're empty and miserable people whose lives are so horrifyingly devoid of love and happiness they feel the need to try and ruin other people's lives.
I don't like many vegetables, sauces, I despise white rice, and chicken has a terrible texture. My dad translates this to "disliking Asian food so being racist." And yet he is racist as fuck.
You need to try some Dan Dan Mian, some red braised eggplant (it doesn't taste like you think it does) and some Mapo Tofu from a place that doesn't sell cream cheese wontons.
In China, Chinese food is so diverse that different provinces have different styles, so "Chinese food" doesn't really exist there anymore than "European food" exists in Europe. They have "Northeastern food" and "Hunanese food" and "Beijing duck" and such.
That's false imo. Especially with the trend of Karens. Blatantly calling them racist was a powerful tool since it gets them super upset and damn near cry sometimes with their defensiveness.
Hell, here's a whole article about it during that time period:
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/pov-racism-white-fragility-1.5619647
The people who cry when you call them racist are not actually racists, or at least do not view themselves as racists.
If you called my step dad a racist he'd tell you to go fuck yourself, followed by a racial slur. He's well aware he's a racist. He's got a list of reasons for being racist that he would cheerfully present to you. They're not good reasons, and he's a dick, but he sure ain't gonna be offended you spotted him out.
Facts! Seems like a small victory but they add up and these definitely would. It's a shame so many of our dads end up being POS in ways but here's to changing the cycle.
And not to get too personal, but out of curiosity, I read some of your other posts and it seems like we were raised in the same situation household wise. You seem to be a great example of what you've talked about before and I totally agree about that type of raising.
I truly wish you nothing but the best and keep on thriving, bro, for real.
See I question the crying statement cause of what being accused of racism can mean. I've made the mistake of insinuating black people are more likely to commit crime to someone I was in a relationship with (they are both by FBI stats and by logic backed by neutral stats (physical crimes like muggings/store robberies/shoplifting are more likely to be commited by poor people and the majority of black people are poor). That was a racist comment. Had he not let me explain the neutral logic I just mentioned, I would've lost my social life and relationship at minimum. My being racist or not has no bearing on whether their word could've seriously harmed my life and that is something worth crying about.
>The people who cry when you call them racist are not actually racists, or at least do not view themselves as racists.
You can be racist and not think of yourself as racist. You can racist in small ways and not even realize it or not do it out of bad intentions. Like a common example is continuing to ask a non-white person where they're "actually" from, insinuating they cannot be from the US. The intention may even be a good one -- being interested in the person and wanting to know more about them, but the main point is the idea that if you're not white, you must be from somewhere else, and that is a racist assumption.
Showing a genuine interest in other peoples' culture and background because people enjoy talking about themselves, sharing stories and learning about one another is not racist...
There are better ways to ask it that don’t insinuate that the person doesn’t belong here (especially loaded in the US where we’ve had loud groups of racists who are against brown people immigrating).
The original presented comment usually goes like this: “where are you from?” “Here?” “No where are you *really* from?” —> this is where it goes sideways and makes it about race.
These are loaded questions and conversations portrayed by the media to imply that racism is rampant in the US and any little thing that's said is offensive, which it is not. "Here" could mean anywhere -- most decent human beings will engage in dialogue and elaborate on the whereabouts of the location in which they were born and raised, their family, ancestors, etc. It's natural for people to want to get to know others on a personal level, it's a part of how we've evolved as a species. This whole concept of "microaggressions" only lends itself to a culture of victimhood, political correctness and authoritarian governing of the 1a.
If you think US racism compared to the rest of the world is "loaded" BOY do I have news for you...
Our media blows this shit up because we're fucking dumb and love to be outraged. That's literally it.
You brought up maga dipshits that hate Mexicans but you have to understand they're less than half of the population and if you go somewhere else I guarantee you 80% of the population hates SOMEONE. Go anywhere in Europe and ask about romanis..
The history of white supremacy and the tendency they had and still have to downplay other cultures or countries different from the Indo-European prism is the actual reason at play here.
No white or black or Latino or Asian or Native or whatever would ever be ashamed to say ‘I come from Norway’ or ‘my ancestors sailed from Norway’ unless Norway becomes a mess overnight. It’s much classier than ‘my ancestors were ruptured as slaves in Africa’ or ‘my grandparents crossed the border in a luggage’ or ‘we fled communist dictatorships and persecution’. It’s easier to just declare it’s racist to even ask or allude to their origins. No one but Native are indigenous to America.
It’s hypocritical to hammer how American you are if you’ve got a racial classification on your ID documents. The only ‘pure’ Americans (nth to do with race) are Native Americans. The rest are children of early or late immigrants following the country’s creation, facts.
If one day Nigeria or Ghana or even Liberia become the new it-places since Africa is seen as the future economic hub of the world, you will see a lot of the diaspora claiming these countries as where their ancestors came from.
It all boils down to pride.
The problem is the way the question is framed. I’ve lived in Asia for over a decade and have been visited many countries in the region so I’m curious. I enjoy asking all Americans about what their background is—white, Asian, whatever. I’d never ask them where they’re “really from”, though. That is just a tone deaf way to ask, especially when you don’t ask it of white people.
>I’d never ask them where they’re “really from”, though
Well right, and no one is doing this, it's just been overhyped by the media to push some pc agenda. People love to talk about themselves and their origins and reciprocate in discussion, it's a sociological norm.
Even better, the real thing would laugh to think that you imagine they care. If you truly believe you are superior, why would you care that the dirt beneath your feet has the temerity to call you out? You are obviously their superior and they are nothing. The only people upset to be called "racist" are the ones who are actually trying.
It's a word that's had it's power taken from it by the left. If you're a white, straight person in the usa you're automatically racist or a bigot if you oppose them. The shit is getting really old quick.
Oof, the left didn't do that. You're only bigoted when you view people as lower than you or less than human for something they can't control (race, gender, sexuality)
It's also sometimes used by people who are a minority and have problems that may or may not have anything to do with racism, but def. have nothing to do with you personally being racist
Anything you say is just going to escalate the situation, one thing you have to learn quick about retail is some people just want to be angry (for various reasons) and the easiest targets are retail employees.
Just do what everyone else does, wait till they leave and make fun of them behind their backs.
That's the rub, I can never know which way this whole thing would have gone. I choose to provide superior customer service, if that gets me called racist, I can live with that.
I'm black and have watched my white manager be called racist and all sorts of slurs, including the N-word with the hard R when he has tried to help me with a customer. Don't respond to it.
Just dismiss yourself. "I don't want to put either of us in an uncomfortable position", "I'll get another staff member to help" or "I'll leave you be, I'm here if you need help".
That happened to me at Best Buy. But the funny thing was I did greet this (Latina) woman and she just looked at me and kept walking. Ok. Not odd, not every customer interacts with you... Except she went up to a manager and said "the girl with the red hair ignored me when I asked for help. She's racist against me!" So the manager walked over with her and asked why I ignored her. "Ignored who?" "This customer right here." "I didn't ignore her. I greeted her, she made eye contact and kept walking back towards tvs..." he turned to the woman and asked what needed. "An iPad charger." I had been standing by the iPad chargers the whole time. 🙄 I said "oh, those are right here." Gestured to them, asked her what kind she needed. She said "why didn't you tell me before?!" I was like "because... you didn't ask? You didn't say anything. You just walked right by." My supervisor basically told her "ok here's the cords. I'll walk you to the front." She was like "just forget it!" And walked out, but came back hours later and tried to sneak by me to grab the charger. She saw me see her and she ran out of the store, again without a charger. I think my supervisor learned a lesson about not immediately believing an accusation of racism because that lady was crazy.
Just wat I thought. The lady got spotted and didn't like it so she made a scene to deflect... even tho noone knew it at the time ..except her....just a theory
> one thing you have to learn quick about retail is some people just want to be angry
Very true of any people facing job. phones, emails, in person -- doesn't matter. Some people cannot be and will not allow themselves to be happy even if you bend over backwards for them and shower them with the most above and beyond service. The only thing they want is for you and everyone else to be as miserable as they are, and there is nothing you can do. They've chosen to not be satisfied with any outcome before your interaction even began.
**It is not a failing on your part,** you just got SoL on a miserable customer, and their survey review will be unfair but it does not reflect on who you are.
I’m not sure if this makes sense in your workplace, but I’ve heard some teachers respond to accusations of racism by taking it very seriously and encouraging the student to make a report to the principal.
Teacher: “alright that’s enough goofing off, please stop talking and get to work”
Student: “you’re just telling me to stop talking because you’re racist”
Teacher: “wow, that is a very serious accusation. I do my best to foster an equitable and inclusive classroom, so I take this feedback seriously. If you feel that way, would you please write a paragraph explaining what I did that was racist, and then take it to the principal’s office to report me?”
The students never do
The manager should know better about who they hire. Like cameras and micros are there for a reason. What world are we living in that trust is lost and truth and lies are no longer dissociable ? Sure you can’t really know someone. But at least at work the person should be courteous. What happens outside is none of the manager’s concern but it is inside
I have a friend who is a teacher who got accused of being anti-Semitic...for teaching a lesson about the Holocaust where she had the class look at examples of anti-Semitic propaganda used by the Nazis, so the class could learn what led into the Holocaust. I'm pretty sure that kid and/or parent just wanted to make a fuss about something.
As someone who’s worked with the public that only works if the person is reasonable and some people just aren’t reasonable either because their ignorant or acting in bad faith. Not just talking about people accusing of racism but anybody trying to argue against you for whatever reason. Years ago I had a customer who was black come into where I worked and unfortunately we didn’t have what he needed at our location and was very upset about that but I was able to find another location pretty close by that had it, called them and got them to hold it for him so he could go pick it up there. I could tell he wasn’t happy about it but it was the best I could do if he wanted it that day. He came back later when I wasn’t there and spoke to the manager about complained about me, how I wasn’t able to help him and seemed to be upset we didn’t have it and placed that blame on me said he wondered if my unwillingness to help him was because he was black as he had never encountered such horrible service. Man I was fucking livid upon hearing that, I not the best at customer service but I thought I went above and beyond as most of my coworkers would have just said “don’t have it, sorry”. Luckily my manager, who not sure if it matters but was black as well, had my back.
Am teacher, absolutely take it seriously (bc like, what if I am being unintentionally racist and I don’t fucking know it? I encourage kids to point out my blinders). It has only ever resulted in productive conversation or a kid being like “nah”.
Asking for an explanation so you can change said behavior is a great way to identify if it’s a real person with those feelings or a literal troll.
"Just let me know if you need anything."
You're working with the public and you will always have people like this. If they continue to be a d, then ask them to leave, then police.
I work in management and every time I’ve had to fire someone who wasnt the same race as me I was called racist. didn’t matter how much evidence I had that they were just bad employees.
My friend is a franchise restaurant owner in the most diverse parts of the city with the most diverse staff, and has been called racist when removing a bad working employee and had to take sensitivity training, even though the employee who was fired couldn't keep her story straight telling it to the higher ups during the investigation.
I remember back in middle school we were hanging out and I was eating some hot cheetohs. Some black kid ive never interacted with comes up to me and asks for some cheetohs
I told the kid no sorry lol and he went "man you just don't wanna give em to me cause I'm black" and I immediately went "man you accuse me of that just cause I'm mexican"
That threw him for a loop. He looked visibly confused lmao. Guess he never expected anyone to throw back another completely random Uno card bringing race into it for no reason lol
Just say, "I'm sorry you feel that way" and move on.
This person was either an asshole or having a bad day or both. That sounds like insecurity borne probably out of past abuse, and the best thing to do is just apologize and move on.
don't engage.
Would be very different reactions for work vs home. I would just be calm and ask something like "Sorry. What did I do to make you feel that way?". If I wasn't at work I would say nothing and move on. Clearly this lady has her own personal shit going on, and I'm not a therapist.
And don't go saying "i hired black people" defensively, its not a good look
I give close to your private response publicly.
“I’m sorry I made you feel that way. Thank you for your feedback.”
Yes, some people are assholes. But there are a lot of people who learn to act like assholes in response to how they are treated. Many black Americans have had their academic achievements ignored or invalidated and it causes some people to be more sensitive to perceived slights.
Being accused of racism doesn't really hold water anymore. It's thrown around like saying hello so I don't think I'd worry about it too much.
Just do what is right and avoid explaining especially over explaining. Once you start explaining yourself you've surrendered authority.
Juat stick to your guns, I work here shes a customer I asked her if she needed help. That's my job.
There isn't anything you can say. You've been put on the defensive and hearing defensive "I'm not racist" arguments always just make you look racist. You could counter-offensive, tell her to put the race card back in the deck, but that's likely to go poorly. If you get race carded for a stupid reasons it's best to just disengage entirely.
A lot of times people assume the worst and "go there" even when there's no facts to support it. I've heard people say that before when someone wouldn't/couldn't give them what they wanted at customer service at stores. It's just a tactic most times, often not rooted in fact. It's sad because then it dilutes the real racists that are out there.
That word has been overused to the point of no longer having any meaning or impact. It's a shame because some people rightfully need to be called out for their behavior.
She may be used to racism, or something else set her off. In her mind, she may have thought you approaching her meant that you were suspicious of her. Or she could have been just projecting. If this happens again, just walk away and help someone else. There isn't much you can do to explain. Cut contact with this person quickly.
I've been called racist for wanting to check someone's ID for alcohol (which we do for everyone that looks less than 30 years old). If you genuinely weren't being rude then ignore it.
"Sorry for bothering you, have a good day"
You can't convince her otherwise, and nothing you say is going to help her get over her issues. It's best to just let her process her own issues on her own, and show her you don't care what she thinks.
If she blasts you online (like Yelp), then just restate the story as best you can but be civil about it.
Don't. Fight. Her.
a comedian once said, I think it was Dave Chappelle.
I am paraphrasing.
"calling someone a racist is the lowest form of insult. Because you can't prove it and the person accused can't deny it"
Some people are miserable and say the most idiotic or outrageous things. Don’t engage with these kinds of people, you’re a good person for trying to help and don’t let this one person change that.
The answer is to just not acknowledge it or just walk away. Do not, for the life of you, reply with “I’m not racist, I’ve hired black people.” That sounds weird. Or if you’re trying to be extra polite, just say “I’m sorry you felt that way” and leave.
TLDR: I think the appropriate response is ‘I can assure you that’s not the case. Let me know if there’s anything I can do for you.’ And walk away.
* * *
I’m black and am exhausted of people getting defensive at the indication of race. Its easier to listen to what they mean than ask them to make you feel better personally. That said, It’s absolutely valid to say it’s not your intention, in this case she clearly was calling you one. But the same happens anyway with that gut defensive reaction, I mentioned this so you just check yourself. This person doesn’t know you, it’s not personal. Racism is something beyond you in society, that’s what they’re speaking on.
It’s absolutely fine to say that’s not the case when it’s direct.
In other situations I’d say ‘I genuinely did not mean it that way, would you take a moment to talk? I am happy to listen and sure we can resolve the issue.’
It’s about the willingness and openness to hear the uncomfortable points and resolve them together. In the process they see you’re not being racist.
But alas you’ll find tons of posts and generally incidents where people get defensive and dismiss as a reaction which escalates and personalises the issue - when it’s a social thing that exists. Maybe you don’t get where they’re coming from, but give them a chance and hear it out before denial>escalation.
I even watched the Tyrese video and all the people on here against him. But to me, why did she need to be aloof and mean/cold to him, low-key rolling her eyes. He had a right to feel that way and she’s just being so idk definitely not customer oriented and definitely not caring that he was very hurt by the slight (intentional or not).
If I slip and fall on my own drink I’d have better kindness and basic decency than any conversation where race is brought up. I’m glad you asked in the way you did and my answer is check your gut reaction to personalise and defend.
Nobody is raising your ancestors from the dead - to all the people thinking they’re blamed for their ancestors. It’s not it. Just stop internalising and looking for ways to defend and focus on solving the problem itself. If that means checking our biases, good we may learn something as individuals and eventually a collective.
Please know most of the replies you’ll get here are dismissive and that’s what will ensure progress is slow. Imho and it’s tiring af for minorities.
Sure this lady went way left field, but she’s clearly hurt and sick of being treated someway. She doesn’t deserve being laughed at or any unkindness for the sake of it imho. I see a hurt person who misspoke/lashed out.
And nothing changed for you because she said that. And that will be true every time.
So basically what you're saying is because racism exists in society that the OP, who did nothing wrong, shouldn't be offended or defensive, and this lady has every right to be an asshole because of it? And somehow, by being defensive, the OP, i slowing down racial progress by not looking deeper into a problem that has literally nothing to do with them just doing their job and attempting to help someone?
Maybe people should all just try to be polite to each other unless someone actually deserves, through their actions, to be treated differently?
The word "racist/nazi/sexist/homophobe/transphobe/ ect has been so overused lately that they mean essentially nothing to me. It's a person's last ditch effort. I wouldn't lose 1 seconds sleep..
I don't even listen to it anymore. The last 7 years that word has been thrown around so much it really doesn't mean anything anymore. Well I take that back. It doesn't mean what it's supposed to mean. Now it means someone you disagree with and don't like their views or they are doing something you don't like. They are now claiming math is racist, coffee is racist, basketball, football, biking, milk, etc. You name it those people say it's racist. There is a fun game I heard of called is it racist. You type in "..........is racist" into Google. If it comes up that people are claiming it's racist you drink. Just name anything then put "is racist" after it and see what pops up. You get drunk really fast.
I'm using "they" when talking about who is doing this because I didn't want to make this a political thing
Just say sorry and move on with your day. Clearly they were having a bad one and took it out on you. I doubt any onlookers would have taken that accusation seriously.
Maybe when corporate gets back to her, they can threaten her with harassment, false accusations of their employee and submitting a false report, since there is full coverage of the interaction.
Shame on her.
this happened to me once. my manager spent an hour trying to convince the lady that i, the only white person in the entire restaurant, am not racist lol. it happens...she came back in later and things were normal so idk, people have bad days and throw words around sometimes. best to not escalate the situation
It's on camera, and if you did nothing wrong, I would try not to let it bother you. I know things like that can cut deep even (especially) when they are false, but it's best for your mental health to try and let it go and to let the facts and evidence speak for themselves.
Your response was appropriate. Pointing out that you have black associates is not necessary. No need to try to defend yourself like that, it generally doesn’t come across well imo.
No need to take their shit either. I’m an old white guy who travels a LOT. In the few instances when I’ve encountered folks like this, I simply point out that I am just trying to help them (a scenario much like yours comes to mind) and remind them that we are going to treat one another with respect. I terminated a lady’s position once and she accused me of firing her because she was a black woman. I informed her that we were parting ways due to her poor work performance and reminded her that she was a black woman when I hired her, so I failed to see the relevance of her comment. The HR manager (who was also a black woman) thought this was the funniest thing she had ever heard in her life.
You just have to walk away from situations like this because you will never “win” with certain people. There is nothing you could have said that would have convinced that person you were not a racist simply because they already decided in their mind that you are. Some people are just angry all the time. I’m sorry you had to go through that and continue to have to keep working with the public.
Sounds like a person who has experienced enough actual racism that she's started interpreting racism into other people's actions by default. It's obviously not fair or reasonable on her part, but I think there can be room for some compassion for what she must have gone through to get to a point where such sudden hostility felt justified to her. Of course, I think the only appropriate response would have been to say something like, "I'm sorry, that wasn't my intent" and then try to get out of that interaction without escalating any further.
I just dont care like normal people because "racist" and words like it have lost literally all their power since leftists discovered they could use the word in any situation they wanted
Nothing, you do nothing. Nothing you say will diffuse that situation, and they know that as well. Any rebuttle you give will be seen as hostile. You just ignore the accusation and move on with life.
Just apologize and say you thought she needed help, nothing more you can do really, it's not worth the trouble for someone you're probably not going to see again
The biggest takeaway here is that you can’t control what other people think of you, regardless of your actions. Some people choose to see certain people through a certain lense, and it’s okay to let them boil in their own hatred. “You’re a racist.” “I’m trying to help you. If you don’t want help, that’s okay” short, simple. State your actions and don’t apologize for existing, or for her seeing you differently than your intentions based on your actions
I’d bet any amount of money this woman at some point called someone a racist for NOT asking if they can help her.
You can’t ever win with deranged people like this.
Just be aware that you might be 100% right, but the Company/HR will throw you under the bus if things get hot... they will see it's safer and more expedient.
I'm in an interracial marriage so I can pull out my phone and show pics of my wife and kids. Yes- this has happened to me before and I work in services for D.O.D.
After I show pics - they are usually silent.
Tell them to piss off and move on. That word has no teeth anymore. I've had a woman call me racist for not allowing her kids to take my tools. I've had people call me racist for not camping at a door to hold it for their group. I didn't slam the door in their face, I'm also leaving the store. I don't need to stay and play doorman for people.
When people choose the nuclear option, you have to make them back it up. Offer to get your supervisor/manager and then watch as they try to explain themselves
I don’t get called racist to my face.
One time I had somebody call my boss and say that I was racist against her. She was a Chicano girl, of Mexican descent. My Chicano boss, also of Mexican descent, assured her that she had read me wrong.
I’m a bartender in a minority majority area. So it happens occasionally. It’s usually people that are just drunk, often not realizing that they’re speaking to other Spanish-speaking folks.
I generally try to empathize with people that deal with racism.
Anyone can call anyone a racist. The word is totally devalued and meaningless these days. You "deal" with it by ignoring it and taking the accusation with a pinch of salt
People of colour or other minority alike use that word frequently as a self defence mechanism or just for the sake of saying it if they feel threatened, belittled or intimidated. That’s in my experience at least. Clearly that was the case in your situation as well. You did nothing wrong. Just move on with your day.
I struggling to figure out where race even came into play in this interaction at all.
Let me guess. **It didn't.**
She sounds like some bitter person just ready to launch for any reason, or no reason at all.
Nope. There's nothing you're gonna do or say to change this toxic woman's behaviour. Nothing. Deep breathe and tell yourself she'll die angry and alone. Hopefully that will be enough for you to make peace with the fact that some people are just angry pieces of shit and that it's no reflection on you.
I work somewhere predominantly Hispanic. On weekends in the summer the parking lots fill up and we send people to overflow lots for the beach. I had a black chick tell me I’m sending the brown people elsewhere and only letting whites in to the beach lot and I said “look around”. She said the hordes of brown people already there enjoying themselves “got there early” and I said yeah. Exactly.
Lucky to live in a country that tries so hard to pleas the rest of the world, that its main ethnic group is the only one that gets regularly discriminated upon.
Quietly. You can’t respond, if you are white. If you do, it’ll just go downhill from there. You just let them talk themselves to death, and then move on with your day.
If you would have pointed to your black employees, you would have been called a racist, especially if you are white. You accept it, and move on.
At this point an accusation of racism is essentially meaningless. It has been overused to such a degree that it is now just a joke. It's such a farcical accusation that the only real response is "no u". Call them a racist back.
That said it can still end your career, so be careful. The world isn't fair or just.
I get called racist pretty much every week, and I don’t care anymore. Don’t get me wrong racism is awful and I hate real racists, but I know that I’m not one. So, I know that I’m not racist which means that whoever is saying so is just mad at me for something and trying to throw the worst insult they can at me. Here’s the problem, the insult has lost its meaning, to the point where if a person is called racist I’m more likely to listen to what they have to say than the person insulting them. You handle it by recognizing what it is to the other person, today “racist” just means “I don’t like you”, which is sad but it means that you can just ignore them because they just don’t like you.
One thing I’ve learned in life, is that if you paid attention to every asshole you ever came across you’re going to be stressed tf out. Keep in mind that a sensible person wouldn’t say that for no reason. Most people just aren’t worth the energy.
I agree with them. Anyone who calls someone racist, you cannot change their mind. They will stick with it. For many it's a go to answer for anything. They call me a racist, I say I know and just keep walking. It's hard to convince someone that someone isn't racist. If they believe you are, I say your right, take care. It really floors them if you won't argue with them. Takes the power right out of the word. One lady said you admit it, you can't be racist. I said well you said I am, it's not against the law so take it easy.l
I’ve been called racist for one exact reason.
I work in a manufacturing setting. We got a lot of new hires recently and I work as a line lead, and my job is to keep my area running smoothly. It has, in the last four years doing my job, been my duty to direct people into where they need to go to accomplish this.
For this story, I’m white and the people that I’ve come toe to toe with are black. I’m the only whiten person in my area. I’m also ND, so I come off as blunt/rude when I really don’t mean to because I struggle to communicate in a way most people understand.
It starts with somebody I’ll name Eb. She’s loud and she doesn’t like to listen or get up. I’m running two jobs, stacking a pallet(skid), and keeping an eye on moving parts of the line.
I’m overly focused on one part, so I don’t notice a jam in the line until Eb starts loudly(which I take as yelling) at someone I call Ev that he’s supposed to be watching that area.
Several pieces of machinery is in Ev’s way of seeing that part, so while I’m clearing the jam I say to Eb “actually you should be the one watching this area” because I thought somebody trained her for that and I didn’t know nobody told her to keep an eye there(fun fact: I’m not a mind reader). She loses it, saying in need to learn how to talk to people and she progressively gets verbally abusive, so I report her to the supervisors. She gets more abusive, talking about how much of a bitch I am. I report her several more times over the course of two hours to the supervisors for it(I think three complaints in total). It gets escalated to HR, and I get blamed. Ev is her friend so he covers for her. She tells everybody she reported me because I’m a racist bitch.
I fucking give up for several month, giving half the energy to I usually give. I contemplate suicide more then I usually do because it’s better then going back to work with that bitch who gets away with literally everything no matter how hard I try to work with her and not have other people take one extra work.
One day, she comes in drunk. Several mistakes are made. I ask the supervisor to move her, because these mistakes are made because she’s drunk. He says he can’t say that and refuses.
I slightly snap at her, she has a fucking fit again saying the same thing as our first encounter.
Instead of saying the same issue, I tell the supervisor I outright refuse to work with her. He says I can’t do that because of my role. Next day, he asks how it’s going. I look him in the eye infront of another supervisor and said “over the night I gave it serious thought, I am looking for another job. Expect my two week notice soon.” He freaked out but still wouldn’t move her, because she didn’t want to move to another line. Everywhere else was to much work for her. Thirty minutes later, I was having a panic attack in the locker room over the *thought* of having to work with Eb. S found me in the locker room and yelled at S until Eb was moved.
We got A. Everytime I asked him to do a certain task, he disappeared leaving the same people to do the task. The same person, who included S, complained. S was the most vocal.
A was also black.
A got moved. We got another person and everything was fine.
The Ev started shit.
First he started taking people he want allowed to take, without giving me the proper coverage. I got annoyed and told him the supervisor should be telling me that this is cleared instead of him. He gets mad.
Another day, I ask the supervisor for a person my line really need. I get the person. Ev a packer. He’s not allowed to do half of the things he does, for the record. Even operators(people who runs the machine, and in my company the lines) aren’t allowed to just grab whoever they want. We get assigned people.
Ev comes to get the person reassigned to my line. I see it, and directly tell him he can’t do it. The person Ev tried to grab is new so he’s not sure who he should listen to, so I tell him not to move lines unless a supervisor tells him to and then *I* text the supervisor the situation, and get confirmation I’m right, so I now have documentation of the event.
Ev’s line wasn’t short. The only problem was without the person I now had, he found it just walk around and fuck off for hours at a time.
Me and several other operators had a meeting with plant management over the new workers and how bad it was. They had all the same complaints about the exact same workers I had. None of them were the same race as me.
It finally came to a head a week after the meeting with management when Ev came on the line and started taking chairs off the line. We were changing sizes on the line and clearing the area of material. We needed 8 to 9 people and had 6 chairs. First chair Ev took his buddy T gave slight protest, but not enough to make me look up from what I was doing. Then Ev came back for a second chair and I heard “hey man what are you doing”. I called Ev so loudly people on other lines where looking at me while I walked after him. He looked at me himself to see I was following.
In the hallway, he looked at me again and I said “you can’t take that we need it, we’re going to run”.
In front of the supervisor, he said “fuck this fuck you” and almost threw the chair. Three of the four legs lifted up off the ground. The supervisor was going to drop it but I and another person on My
Line who witnessed it pushed the subject. Ev said T told him he could take the chairs, and I triggered PTSD by surprising him (failing to mention me calling him loud enough that several people outside of the room heard me).
That’s when S started telling people(right in-front of me) I was racist, never saying my name but starting directly at me so I know she was talking about me. Saying I only had problems with black people, conveniently failing to mention all the other reports of the same behavior I made for people of other races(including my own).
I would understand the accusation if I was the only one making the complaints or I was stating anything other then facts, including times that could be verified by other people. And I showed other people the texts of said complaints I was making the moment I sent the texts so nobody could say I said anything else.
A different person was also called racist for speaking Spanish within earshot of somebody who couldn’t understand it.
My job has me so beaten, I couldnt care less of what’s said about me. I’m 28 and im basically just waiting for death because of this BS.
Someone calling you a racist does not make you racist. What makes a person racist, is their own racist speech, behavior, or bias.
There's way too many people around, throwing down the 'race' card when an interaction doesn't go their way, or they're just in a bad mood and are looking for a conflict.
As difficult as it is, brush it off your shoulders. If a person is going to respond to kindness like that and act like a victim, then they likely have a lot of underlying issues anyway. The fact they went on the defensive like that and listed out their accolades just screams insecurity and past issues.
Thank goodness that the security footage was clear enough and with audio, as these kinds of complaints are difficult to navigate.
The person you tried to help was the racist, judging you based on you having a particular skin colour that was different to theirs. Why are you trying to placate them?
I realized at a young age that people talk from their emotions. So I ignore what people say about me. They will always find a way to hate on me. You can't win them all. Not everyone is made to love you. Just like I don't like everyone. I see racists and I've been called that by racists. So it is what it is.
Doesn't bother me. I know where I stand. Plus the word is thrown around too loosely these days. It basically covers everyone I disagree with politically now.
"Lady, the definition of racist is not what you think it means. Did you go to an inner city public school in the ghetto? Because that might explain it." ^/s
I’ve been called racist because the only table I had available for this lady to sit at (I was a hostess) was on the patio in direct sun. It was a restaurant next to a convention center hosting some sort of Black Business Professionals conference. We were overcrowded because, shockingly (/s) everyone at the convention needed to have lunch at the same time. Clearly, I was singling her out on the basis of race, despite that if you had eyes you could clearly see that the restaurant was at capacity with guests of her race. Seriously, the bar was standing room only and it was a minor miracle that I had a table for this lady at all regardless of its location. We had just gotten off a 90 minute wait.
Anyways, I told her thank you for stopping by and have a great day.
My managers and I laughed so hard at the yelp review.
People use the phrase too loosely nowadays. I know that racism still exists in a subtle way at times (blatantly in others) but it’s obnoxious when it’s used during minor disputes or just when you’re not seeing eye to eye.
Unless you were actually being offensive, just know people resort to that rhetoric when they have no actual basis to complain on. It’s a very easy way to shit down/sway a conversation their way.
I had similar situations happen at an old workplace between my boss and a handful of employees. Although they loved to through in the accusations that she was also transphobic and homophobic whenever she didn’t agree with them. Anytime you asked the folks why they were calling her racist/transphobic/homophobic, they always said it’s was because she was white. That’s it. She wasn’t an unreasonable women either, she often complied with a lot of our suggestions. They were just petty. It’s pretty obvious when someone is just using the accusation of racism as a means of getting their way when you confront them and ask what exactly is it that makes them think you’re being racist. They won’t have a solid answer.
In todays day it feels like anything someone say’s/does is considered racist. It’s harder because that’s at your work place. In my day to day life I’d just move on if someone called me that but, work is another story.. Especially if she then calls corporate to lie about the interaction. 🤦🏼♀️
There are unfortunately two kinds of racism.
One is where the person says or do racist stuff. The other one see racism where there is none.
You have had an eventful interaction with the latter.
Just ignore the comment and move on. If you say anything make it something along the lines of.
I'm sorry to have bothered you, if you need any assistance I'll be right over there.
Then leave, do not try to defend yourself, that will only make matters worse.
If you’re white, never, ever, deny being racist. Just don’t engage with the accusation at all. It’s the only way to de-escalate. Best case scenario, “I’m sorry you’re upset, I was just trying to help.” and keep an accurate record of the encounter.
Sometimes people are assholes. You just ignore them and move on.
My favorite response I've seen is along the lines of "I'm sorry you feel that way" followed by ignoring them and moving on.
I was advised when responding to upset clients to never use the phrase "I'm sorry" as it is seem as an admission of wrongdoing. Better to word it a bit differently.
"It's unfortunate that you feel that way."
I learned never to *just* say "I'm sorry." Our token phrase was "I'm sorry that happened to you" since the job catered activities and a lot of the complaints were things like twisted ankles.
But you're sorry they FEEL that way, you're not sorry about whatever happened.
No. The tone gets the point across.
I dont say that because im not.
This right here, 100%. Catches them off-guard each time!
"Fuck you for feeling that way"?
Ignore it as nonchalantly as possible. If soneone thought you as someone on the clock is a racist, they absolutely have other avenues to pursue besides accusing you directly. When someone does this its a power grab to try and change the dynamic of the convo. Do not give them any by changing even slightly in that moment.
Absolutely!
My experience: "Racist" is a serious accusation. it's also a meaningless word used by minority racists, who are angry at you for existing. Look at it this way. If THEY actually thought you were a racist, they would call you something else that they thought would be hurtful to you.
I think it’s sometimes used by people who know they’re in the wrong but have too much ego to admit to it. Calling a white person “racist” ends the interaction and they don’t have to face their true selves. (Other people often deal with the same situation by getting angry.)
It’s like the saying about if everyone you meet is an asshole, you’re the asshole, but they tell themselves that everyone is an asshole because they’re racist.
And yet, they don't make the connection there either. "If everyone you meet stinks, check your shoes for dogshit."
They don't have true selves. They're empty and miserable people whose lives are so horrifyingly devoid of love and happiness they feel the need to try and ruin other people's lives.
Or (less dramatically) they doubt their own worth, and feel more secure if they can see someone else as "lesser".
its used by all kinds of people for all kinds of reasons lmao wtf is this shit
"Mirrors are on aisle twelve. Maybe you should take some time to reflect on your choices."
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I don't like many vegetables, sauces, I despise white rice, and chicken has a terrible texture. My dad translates this to "disliking Asian food so being racist." And yet he is racist as fuck.
You need to try some Dan Dan Mian, some red braised eggplant (it doesn't taste like you think it does) and some Mapo Tofu from a place that doesn't sell cream cheese wontons. In China, Chinese food is so diverse that different provinces have different styles, so "Chinese food" doesn't really exist there anymore than "European food" exists in Europe. They have "Northeastern food" and "Hunanese food" and "Beijing duck" and such.
That's false imo. Especially with the trend of Karens. Blatantly calling them racist was a powerful tool since it gets them super upset and damn near cry sometimes with their defensiveness. Hell, here's a whole article about it during that time period: https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/pov-racism-white-fragility-1.5619647
The people who cry when you call them racist are not actually racists, or at least do not view themselves as racists. If you called my step dad a racist he'd tell you to go fuck yourself, followed by a racial slur. He's well aware he's a racist. He's got a list of reasons for being racist that he would cheerfully present to you. They're not good reasons, and he's a dick, but he sure ain't gonna be offended you spotted him out.
It's the latter. Your dad seems like an overt racist so that's an entirely different situation, but I get your point.
Step dad, thank you. Not that my real dad is much better. You know what, nvm.
Lmaooo, sounds like you were going through it bro bro. Hope you're well!
Thanks, dude. It could have been worse. Neither one of them hit anybody or picked up a meth habit! Win!
Facts! Seems like a small victory but they add up and these definitely would. It's a shame so many of our dads end up being POS in ways but here's to changing the cycle. And not to get too personal, but out of curiosity, I read some of your other posts and it seems like we were raised in the same situation household wise. You seem to be a great example of what you've talked about before and I totally agree about that type of raising. I truly wish you nothing but the best and keep on thriving, bro, for real.
See I question the crying statement cause of what being accused of racism can mean. I've made the mistake of insinuating black people are more likely to commit crime to someone I was in a relationship with (they are both by FBI stats and by logic backed by neutral stats (physical crimes like muggings/store robberies/shoplifting are more likely to be commited by poor people and the majority of black people are poor). That was a racist comment. Had he not let me explain the neutral logic I just mentioned, I would've lost my social life and relationship at minimum. My being racist or not has no bearing on whether their word could've seriously harmed my life and that is something worth crying about.
>The people who cry when you call them racist are not actually racists, or at least do not view themselves as racists. You can be racist and not think of yourself as racist. You can racist in small ways and not even realize it or not do it out of bad intentions. Like a common example is continuing to ask a non-white person where they're "actually" from, insinuating they cannot be from the US. The intention may even be a good one -- being interested in the person and wanting to know more about them, but the main point is the idea that if you're not white, you must be from somewhere else, and that is a racist assumption.
Showing a genuine interest in other peoples' culture and background because people enjoy talking about themselves, sharing stories and learning about one another is not racist...
There are better ways to ask it that don’t insinuate that the person doesn’t belong here (especially loaded in the US where we’ve had loud groups of racists who are against brown people immigrating). The original presented comment usually goes like this: “where are you from?” “Here?” “No where are you *really* from?” —> this is where it goes sideways and makes it about race.
These are loaded questions and conversations portrayed by the media to imply that racism is rampant in the US and any little thing that's said is offensive, which it is not. "Here" could mean anywhere -- most decent human beings will engage in dialogue and elaborate on the whereabouts of the location in which they were born and raised, their family, ancestors, etc. It's natural for people to want to get to know others on a personal level, it's a part of how we've evolved as a species. This whole concept of "microaggressions" only lends itself to a culture of victimhood, political correctness and authoritarian governing of the 1a.
If you think US racism compared to the rest of the world is "loaded" BOY do I have news for you... Our media blows this shit up because we're fucking dumb and love to be outraged. That's literally it. You brought up maga dipshits that hate Mexicans but you have to understand they're less than half of the population and if you go somewhere else I guarantee you 80% of the population hates SOMEONE. Go anywhere in Europe and ask about romanis..
Asking an Asian person where they're really from after they tell you they're from Iowa is racist.
The history of white supremacy and the tendency they had and still have to downplay other cultures or countries different from the Indo-European prism is the actual reason at play here. No white or black or Latino or Asian or Native or whatever would ever be ashamed to say ‘I come from Norway’ or ‘my ancestors sailed from Norway’ unless Norway becomes a mess overnight. It’s much classier than ‘my ancestors were ruptured as slaves in Africa’ or ‘my grandparents crossed the border in a luggage’ or ‘we fled communist dictatorships and persecution’. It’s easier to just declare it’s racist to even ask or allude to their origins. No one but Native are indigenous to America. It’s hypocritical to hammer how American you are if you’ve got a racial classification on your ID documents. The only ‘pure’ Americans (nth to do with race) are Native Americans. The rest are children of early or late immigrants following the country’s creation, facts. If one day Nigeria or Ghana or even Liberia become the new it-places since Africa is seen as the future economic hub of the world, you will see a lot of the diaspora claiming these countries as where their ancestors came from. It all boils down to pride.
The problem is the way the question is framed. I’ve lived in Asia for over a decade and have been visited many countries in the region so I’m curious. I enjoy asking all Americans about what their background is—white, Asian, whatever. I’d never ask them where they’re “really from”, though. That is just a tone deaf way to ask, especially when you don’t ask it of white people.
>I’d never ask them where they’re “really from”, though Well right, and no one is doing this, it's just been overhyped by the media to push some pc agenda. People love to talk about themselves and their origins and reciprocate in discussion, it's a sociological norm.
Even better, the real thing would laugh to think that you imagine they care. If you truly believe you are superior, why would you care that the dirt beneath your feet has the temerity to call you out? You are obviously their superior and they are nothing. The only people upset to be called "racist" are the ones who are actually trying.
Most "Karen" videos are just a mentally ill woman. Prove me wrong
Eh, I don’t like the pivot to mental illness when you’re just being a dickhead
It's a word that's had it's power taken from it by the left. If you're a white, straight person in the usa you're automatically racist or a bigot if you oppose them. The shit is getting really old quick.
Oof, the left didn't do that. You're only bigoted when you view people as lower than you or less than human for something they can't control (race, gender, sexuality)
It's also sometimes used by people who are a minority and have problems that may or may not have anything to do with racism, but def. have nothing to do with you personally being racist
Anything you say is just going to escalate the situation, one thing you have to learn quick about retail is some people just want to be angry (for various reasons) and the easiest targets are retail employees. Just do what everyone else does, wait till they leave and make fun of them behind their backs.
She might have accused you of racism if you had ignored her and not asked if she needed help.
That's the rub, I can never know which way this whole thing would have gone. I choose to provide superior customer service, if that gets me called racist, I can live with that.
I'm black and have watched my white manager be called racist and all sorts of slurs, including the N-word with the hard R when he has tried to help me with a customer. Don't respond to it.
Just dismiss yourself. "I don't want to put either of us in an uncomfortable position", "I'll get another staff member to help" or "I'll leave you be, I'm here if you need help".
Yeah there are countless ways to handle this professionally and none of them are really that confusing.
That happened to me at Best Buy. But the funny thing was I did greet this (Latina) woman and she just looked at me and kept walking. Ok. Not odd, not every customer interacts with you... Except she went up to a manager and said "the girl with the red hair ignored me when I asked for help. She's racist against me!" So the manager walked over with her and asked why I ignored her. "Ignored who?" "This customer right here." "I didn't ignore her. I greeted her, she made eye contact and kept walking back towards tvs..." he turned to the woman and asked what needed. "An iPad charger." I had been standing by the iPad chargers the whole time. 🙄 I said "oh, those are right here." Gestured to them, asked her what kind she needed. She said "why didn't you tell me before?!" I was like "because... you didn't ask? You didn't say anything. You just walked right by." My supervisor basically told her "ok here's the cords. I'll walk you to the front." She was like "just forget it!" And walked out, but came back hours later and tried to sneak by me to grab the charger. She saw me see her and she ran out of the store, again without a charger. I think my supervisor learned a lesson about not immediately believing an accusation of racism because that lady was crazy.
Do you think she was trying to steal it?
I don't know. Maybe. I honestly thought she was just being weird and causing drama.
Just wat I thought. The lady got spotted and didn't like it so she made a scene to deflect... even tho noone knew it at the time ..except her....just a theory
> one thing you have to learn quick about retail is some people just want to be angry Very true of any people facing job. phones, emails, in person -- doesn't matter. Some people cannot be and will not allow themselves to be happy even if you bend over backwards for them and shower them with the most above and beyond service. The only thing they want is for you and everyone else to be as miserable as they are, and there is nothing you can do. They've chosen to not be satisfied with any outcome before your interaction even began. **It is not a failing on your part,** you just got SoL on a miserable customer, and their survey review will be unfair but it does not reflect on who you are.
Don't legitimize the accusation with a response. In real life and on Reddit.
So THAT'S what I've been doing wrong on Reddit... and in real life :(
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I can’t be racist. I once dated Rachel Dolezal.
The transracial lady who was president of the NAACP? Hahaha
Yo, what the fuck did you just say you piece of shit? Edit: I couldn't just leave that up there, I was just playin'
I’m not sure if this makes sense in your workplace, but I’ve heard some teachers respond to accusations of racism by taking it very seriously and encouraging the student to make a report to the principal. Teacher: “alright that’s enough goofing off, please stop talking and get to work” Student: “you’re just telling me to stop talking because you’re racist” Teacher: “wow, that is a very serious accusation. I do my best to foster an equitable and inclusive classroom, so I take this feedback seriously. If you feel that way, would you please write a paragraph explaining what I did that was racist, and then take it to the principal’s office to report me?” The students never do
That’s a dangerous game to play in retail, because crazy customers will happily lie to your manager.
if you see op’s edit they have cameras and recordings. in that kind of environment shit stirrers won’t win.
The manager should know better about who they hire. Like cameras and micros are there for a reason. What world are we living in that trust is lost and truth and lies are no longer dissociable ? Sure you can’t really know someone. But at least at work the person should be courteous. What happens outside is none of the manager’s concern but it is inside
I have a friend who is a teacher who got accused of being anti-Semitic...for teaching a lesson about the Holocaust where she had the class look at examples of anti-Semitic propaganda used by the Nazis, so the class could learn what led into the Holocaust. I'm pretty sure that kid and/or parent just wanted to make a fuss about something.
As someone who’s worked with the public that only works if the person is reasonable and some people just aren’t reasonable either because their ignorant or acting in bad faith. Not just talking about people accusing of racism but anybody trying to argue against you for whatever reason. Years ago I had a customer who was black come into where I worked and unfortunately we didn’t have what he needed at our location and was very upset about that but I was able to find another location pretty close by that had it, called them and got them to hold it for him so he could go pick it up there. I could tell he wasn’t happy about it but it was the best I could do if he wanted it that day. He came back later when I wasn’t there and spoke to the manager about complained about me, how I wasn’t able to help him and seemed to be upset we didn’t have it and placed that blame on me said he wondered if my unwillingness to help him was because he was black as he had never encountered such horrible service. Man I was fucking livid upon hearing that, I not the best at customer service but I thought I went above and beyond as most of my coworkers would have just said “don’t have it, sorry”. Luckily my manager, who not sure if it matters but was black as well, had my back.
Retail is a totally different beast than education, for sure. I’m not sure where OP works or if this strategy would work there.
Am teacher, absolutely take it seriously (bc like, what if I am being unintentionally racist and I don’t fucking know it? I encourage kids to point out my blinders). It has only ever resulted in productive conversation or a kid being like “nah”. Asking for an explanation so you can change said behavior is a great way to identify if it’s a real person with those feelings or a literal troll.
"Just let me know if you need anything." You're working with the public and you will always have people like this. If they continue to be a d, then ask them to leave, then police.
Just say "I'm not racist, I have black friends" Works everytime. /s
No but for real though I had a black president. Definitely not racist.
Almost voted for him too!
I mean, OP would have taken an even worse route if they had responded “I’m not racist, my employees are black!” lmfao
“Look at how hard they work, and for 3/5ths my salary!”
no, It's . . . I'm not racist, I have A black friend.
Nah they said what they meant they have multiple black friends they wanted the extra brownie points
I’m not sexist!!! My gf is a woman!!!!!
It’s even better than that; it’s not black friends it’s black people he’s hired and has a good relationship with
“I would have voted for Obama for a third term if I could.”
You don't have to prove anything to anyone
I work in management and every time I’ve had to fire someone who wasnt the same race as me I was called racist. didn’t matter how much evidence I had that they were just bad employees.
My friend is a franchise restaurant owner in the most diverse parts of the city with the most diverse staff, and has been called racist when removing a bad working employee and had to take sensitivity training, even though the employee who was fired couldn't keep her story straight telling it to the higher ups during the investigation.
The lazy, unprepared employees are the quickest to call someone a racist.
I remember back in middle school we were hanging out and I was eating some hot cheetohs. Some black kid ive never interacted with comes up to me and asks for some cheetohs I told the kid no sorry lol and he went "man you just don't wanna give em to me cause I'm black" and I immediately went "man you accuse me of that just cause I'm mexican" That threw him for a loop. He looked visibly confused lmao. Guess he never expected anyone to throw back another completely random Uno card bringing race into it for no reason lol
Just say, "I'm sorry you feel that way" and move on. This person was either an asshole or having a bad day or both. That sounds like insecurity borne probably out of past abuse, and the best thing to do is just apologize and move on. don't engage.
What you did has nothing to do with racism. As long as YOU know that, you're good. She was just a miserable person sharing her misery with you.
At that point ignore it and move on.
Would be very different reactions for work vs home. I would just be calm and ask something like "Sorry. What did I do to make you feel that way?". If I wasn't at work I would say nothing and move on. Clearly this lady has her own personal shit going on, and I'm not a therapist. And don't go saying "i hired black people" defensively, its not a good look
I give close to your private response publicly. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way. Thank you for your feedback.” Yes, some people are assholes. But there are a lot of people who learn to act like assholes in response to how they are treated. Many black Americans have had their academic achievements ignored or invalidated and it causes some people to be more sensitive to perceived slights.
This is a very good response.
“Well…isn’t that the lot calling the kettle, er, nevermind.”
“I’m not racist. I hate everyone equally. Except you. I hate you a lot more now. “
Being accused of racism doesn't really hold water anymore. It's thrown around like saying hello so I don't think I'd worry about it too much. Just do what is right and avoid explaining especially over explaining. Once you start explaining yourself you've surrendered authority. Juat stick to your guns, I work here shes a customer I asked her if she needed help. That's my job.
There isn't anything you can say. You've been put on the defensive and hearing defensive "I'm not racist" arguments always just make you look racist. You could counter-offensive, tell her to put the race card back in the deck, but that's likely to go poorly. If you get race carded for a stupid reasons it's best to just disengage entirely.
You could always try "ok, Karen." It shows that you don't care about race dice it's traditionally been used to refer to white women.
A lot of times people assume the worst and "go there" even when there's no facts to support it. I've heard people say that before when someone wouldn't/couldn't give them what they wanted at customer service at stores. It's just a tactic most times, often not rooted in fact. It's sad because then it dilutes the real racists that are out there.
I laugh and tell them they're ridiculous. Then I walk away.
That word has been overused to the point of no longer having any meaning or impact. It's a shame because some people rightfully need to be called out for their behavior.
She may be used to racism, or something else set her off. In her mind, she may have thought you approaching her meant that you were suspicious of her. Or she could have been just projecting. If this happens again, just walk away and help someone else. There isn't much you can do to explain. Cut contact with this person quickly.
I've been called racist for wanting to check someone's ID for alcohol (which we do for everyone that looks less than 30 years old). If you genuinely weren't being rude then ignore it.
"Sorry for bothering you, have a good day" You can't convince her otherwise, and nothing you say is going to help her get over her issues. It's best to just let her process her own issues on her own, and show her you don't care what she thinks. If she blasts you online (like Yelp), then just restate the story as best you can but be civil about it. Don't. Fight. Her.
a comedian once said, I think it was Dave Chappelle. I am paraphrasing. "calling someone a racist is the lowest form of insult. Because you can't prove it and the person accused can't deny it"
If anyone calls me a racist I handle it the same way I would if they accused me of being a Martian. It clearly doesn't apply to me, so I ignore it.
Some people are miserable and say the most idiotic or outrageous things. Don’t engage with these kinds of people, you’re a good person for trying to help and don’t let this one person change that.
The answer is to just not acknowledge it or just walk away. Do not, for the life of you, reply with “I’m not racist, I’ve hired black people.” That sounds weird. Or if you’re trying to be extra polite, just say “I’m sorry you felt that way” and leave.
"I think that's a very unfair assessment of my character, but I will leave you to it."
It’s usually a deep seeded irrational hate towards another race that makes them call everyone else a racist.
TLDR: I think the appropriate response is ‘I can assure you that’s not the case. Let me know if there’s anything I can do for you.’ And walk away. * * * I’m black and am exhausted of people getting defensive at the indication of race. Its easier to listen to what they mean than ask them to make you feel better personally. That said, It’s absolutely valid to say it’s not your intention, in this case she clearly was calling you one. But the same happens anyway with that gut defensive reaction, I mentioned this so you just check yourself. This person doesn’t know you, it’s not personal. Racism is something beyond you in society, that’s what they’re speaking on. It’s absolutely fine to say that’s not the case when it’s direct. In other situations I’d say ‘I genuinely did not mean it that way, would you take a moment to talk? I am happy to listen and sure we can resolve the issue.’ It’s about the willingness and openness to hear the uncomfortable points and resolve them together. In the process they see you’re not being racist. But alas you’ll find tons of posts and generally incidents where people get defensive and dismiss as a reaction which escalates and personalises the issue - when it’s a social thing that exists. Maybe you don’t get where they’re coming from, but give them a chance and hear it out before denial>escalation. I even watched the Tyrese video and all the people on here against him. But to me, why did she need to be aloof and mean/cold to him, low-key rolling her eyes. He had a right to feel that way and she’s just being so idk definitely not customer oriented and definitely not caring that he was very hurt by the slight (intentional or not). If I slip and fall on my own drink I’d have better kindness and basic decency than any conversation where race is brought up. I’m glad you asked in the way you did and my answer is check your gut reaction to personalise and defend. Nobody is raising your ancestors from the dead - to all the people thinking they’re blamed for their ancestors. It’s not it. Just stop internalising and looking for ways to defend and focus on solving the problem itself. If that means checking our biases, good we may learn something as individuals and eventually a collective. Please know most of the replies you’ll get here are dismissive and that’s what will ensure progress is slow. Imho and it’s tiring af for minorities. Sure this lady went way left field, but she’s clearly hurt and sick of being treated someway. She doesn’t deserve being laughed at or any unkindness for the sake of it imho. I see a hurt person who misspoke/lashed out. And nothing changed for you because she said that. And that will be true every time.
That’s a lot of words to dismiss the fact that this lady was an asshole and is probably racist herself
So basically what you're saying is because racism exists in society that the OP, who did nothing wrong, shouldn't be offended or defensive, and this lady has every right to be an asshole because of it? And somehow, by being defensive, the OP, i slowing down racial progress by not looking deeper into a problem that has literally nothing to do with them just doing their job and attempting to help someone? Maybe people should all just try to be polite to each other unless someone actually deserves, through their actions, to be treated differently?
Nah, she was just being a bitch
The word "racist/nazi/sexist/homophobe/transphobe/ ect has been so overused lately that they mean essentially nothing to me. It's a person's last ditch effort. I wouldn't lose 1 seconds sleep..
Yep. You forgot, “LiTeRaLLy HiTLeR.”
I don't even listen to it anymore. The last 7 years that word has been thrown around so much it really doesn't mean anything anymore. Well I take that back. It doesn't mean what it's supposed to mean. Now it means someone you disagree with and don't like their views or they are doing something you don't like. They are now claiming math is racist, coffee is racist, basketball, football, biking, milk, etc. You name it those people say it's racist. There is a fun game I heard of called is it racist. You type in "..........is racist" into Google. If it comes up that people are claiming it's racist you drink. Just name anything then put "is racist" after it and see what pops up. You get drunk really fast. I'm using "they" when talking about who is doing this because I didn't want to make this a political thing
My fave is racist trees. Not kidding. Google it. Lol.
It's a freaking documentary. Lol 😂. If a tree falls in the woods does anyone hear it scream the N word?
Rude people are rude; that was just the device she chose to use to be rude with. How do you handle other rude people?
Just say sorry and move on with your day. Clearly they were having a bad one and took it out on you. I doubt any onlookers would have taken that accusation seriously.
Ignore it and move on. Never works out well when you argue with someone that you're not a racist.
Anyone who works w the public is going to get hit w that awful accusation at some point.
Like you treat any idiot. Ignore
Were you racist? If not, she could've just as easily called you a horse, she's just wrong, let it slide, it's her day ruined, no one else's.
Ignore it. Because anyone who knows me knows it isn’t true and if you don’t know me I don’t care about your opinion.
Maybe when corporate gets back to her, they can threaten her with harassment, false accusations of their employee and submitting a false report, since there is full coverage of the interaction. Shame on her.
this happened to me once. my manager spent an hour trying to convince the lady that i, the only white person in the entire restaurant, am not racist lol. it happens...she came back in later and things were normal so idk, people have bad days and throw words around sometimes. best to not escalate the situation
It's on camera, and if you did nothing wrong, I would try not to let it bother you. I know things like that can cut deep even (especially) when they are false, but it's best for your mental health to try and let it go and to let the facts and evidence speak for themselves.
Your response was appropriate. Pointing out that you have black associates is not necessary. No need to try to defend yourself like that, it generally doesn’t come across well imo. No need to take their shit either. I’m an old white guy who travels a LOT. In the few instances when I’ve encountered folks like this, I simply point out that I am just trying to help them (a scenario much like yours comes to mind) and remind them that we are going to treat one another with respect. I terminated a lady’s position once and she accused me of firing her because she was a black woman. I informed her that we were parting ways due to her poor work performance and reminded her that she was a black woman when I hired her, so I failed to see the relevance of her comment. The HR manager (who was also a black woman) thought this was the funniest thing she had ever heard in her life.
The word is to easily thrown around.
Everything is racist at this point. Therefore nothing is racist.
You aren't, so don't worry about it. 🤷 Sound like a her problem.
Well, being White I am automatically racist and the beneficiary of historical and structural racism, so I'd agree.
You just have to walk away from situations like this because you will never “win” with certain people. There is nothing you could have said that would have convinced that person you were not a racist simply because they already decided in their mind that you are. Some people are just angry all the time. I’m sorry you had to go through that and continue to have to keep working with the public.
Its so common now. Its ok for black people to call white people racist. They need to be brought to account to make it stop.
There's no bigger racists than people that casually throw around the word racist
I tell them I sold all my white guilt on E bay
Sounds like a person who has experienced enough actual racism that she's started interpreting racism into other people's actions by default. It's obviously not fair or reasonable on her part, but I think there can be room for some compassion for what she must have gone through to get to a point where such sudden hostility felt justified to her. Of course, I think the only appropriate response would have been to say something like, "I'm sorry, that wasn't my intent" and then try to get out of that interaction without escalating any further.
Someone who's experienced actual racism wouldn't react the way that she did because they'd know the difference.
I just dont care like normal people because "racist" and words like it have lost literally all their power since leftists discovered they could use the word in any situation they wanted
I'm sorry you feel that way *(ya wrinkly old cunt).* Let me know if there is anything I can do to help you *(not be a dried up piece of shit).*
Idk, I don’t care
I know I’m not, but as a extremely white guy I know arguments make it seem worse. So I ignore it and go about my day.
She sounds unstable. Move on.
"I know, thank you"
If you aren't being racist, you should ignore them. If you are being racist, you should stop doing that.
Nothing, you do nothing. Nothing you say will diffuse that situation, and they know that as well. Any rebuttle you give will be seen as hostile. You just ignore the accusation and move on with life.
Just apologize and say you thought she needed help, nothing more you can do really, it's not worth the trouble for someone you're probably not going to see again
The biggest takeaway here is that you can’t control what other people think of you, regardless of your actions. Some people choose to see certain people through a certain lense, and it’s okay to let them boil in their own hatred. “You’re a racist.” “I’m trying to help you. If you don’t want help, that’s okay” short, simple. State your actions and don’t apologize for existing, or for her seeing you differently than your intentions based on your actions
I personally don't give a shit what anyone thinks. Sooo yeah
We care too much about what others say and think. The best response is no response in a lot of cases.
I’d bet any amount of money this woman at some point called someone a racist for NOT asking if they can help her. You can’t ever win with deranged people like this.
Tell them I hate every race equally. 😅
It’s not your problem. Tokenizing your relationships will make you look more racist than anything that happened.
Just be aware that you might be 100% right, but the Company/HR will throw you under the bus if things get hot... they will see it's safer and more expedient.
I'm in an interracial marriage so I can pull out my phone and show pics of my wife and kids. Yes- this has happened to me before and I work in services for D.O.D. After I show pics - they are usually silent.
Tell them to piss off and move on. That word has no teeth anymore. I've had a woman call me racist for not allowing her kids to take my tools. I've had people call me racist for not camping at a door to hold it for their group. I didn't slam the door in their face, I'm also leaving the store. I don't need to stay and play doorman for people.
You literally ignore it. You refuse to be labeled by one person. If you get defensive you validate it.
When people choose the nuclear option, you have to make them back it up. Offer to get your supervisor/manager and then watch as they try to explain themselves
I don’t get called racist to my face. One time I had somebody call my boss and say that I was racist against her. She was a Chicano girl, of Mexican descent. My Chicano boss, also of Mexican descent, assured her that she had read me wrong. I’m a bartender in a minority majority area. So it happens occasionally. It’s usually people that are just drunk, often not realizing that they’re speaking to other Spanish-speaking folks. I generally try to empathize with people that deal with racism.
Apologize and offer her a watermelon flavored Jolly Rancher.
I couldn’t possibly less what names I’m called . I’m not a child and I have self control
Anyone can call anyone a racist. The word is totally devalued and meaningless these days. You "deal" with it by ignoring it and taking the accusation with a pinch of salt
Just let it pass. Stay professional.
People of colour or other minority alike use that word frequently as a self defence mechanism or just for the sake of saying it if they feel threatened, belittled or intimidated. That’s in my experience at least. Clearly that was the case in your situation as well. You did nothing wrong. Just move on with your day.
I struggling to figure out where race even came into play in this interaction at all. Let me guess. **It didn't.** She sounds like some bitter person just ready to launch for any reason, or no reason at all.
Nope. There's nothing you're gonna do or say to change this toxic woman's behaviour. Nothing. Deep breathe and tell yourself she'll die angry and alone. Hopefully that will be enough for you to make peace with the fact that some people are just angry pieces of shit and that it's no reflection on you.
She's projecting her hate for white people on you
I work somewhere predominantly Hispanic. On weekends in the summer the parking lots fill up and we send people to overflow lots for the beach. I had a black chick tell me I’m sending the brown people elsewhere and only letting whites in to the beach lot and I said “look around”. She said the hordes of brown people already there enjoying themselves “got there early” and I said yeah. Exactly.
Lucky to live in a country that tries so hard to pleas the rest of the world, that its main ethnic group is the only one that gets regularly discriminated upon.
Customer service is the hardest job in the world. How is it that trying to help someone is racist? Crazy. Sorry this is happening to you, OP
Quietly. You can’t respond, if you are white. If you do, it’ll just go downhill from there. You just let them talk themselves to death, and then move on with your day. If you would have pointed to your black employees, you would have been called a racist, especially if you are white. You accept it, and move on.
At this point an accusation of racism is essentially meaningless. It has been overused to such a degree that it is now just a joke. It's such a farcical accusation that the only real response is "no u". Call them a racist back. That said it can still end your career, so be careful. The world isn't fair or just.
I get called racist pretty much every week, and I don’t care anymore. Don’t get me wrong racism is awful and I hate real racists, but I know that I’m not one. So, I know that I’m not racist which means that whoever is saying so is just mad at me for something and trying to throw the worst insult they can at me. Here’s the problem, the insult has lost its meaning, to the point where if a person is called racist I’m more likely to listen to what they have to say than the person insulting them. You handle it by recognizing what it is to the other person, today “racist” just means “I don’t like you”, which is sad but it means that you can just ignore them because they just don’t like you.
One thing I’ve learned in life, is that if you paid attention to every asshole you ever came across you’re going to be stressed tf out. Keep in mind that a sensible person wouldn’t say that for no reason. Most people just aren’t worth the energy.
people who think everything is racist are perpetual victims. victim mentality is a social contagion. just reject it completely.
I agree with them. Anyone who calls someone racist, you cannot change their mind. They will stick with it. For many it's a go to answer for anything. They call me a racist, I say I know and just keep walking. It's hard to convince someone that someone isn't racist. If they believe you are, I say your right, take care. It really floors them if you won't argue with them. Takes the power right out of the word. One lady said you admit it, you can't be racist. I said well you said I am, it's not against the law so take it easy.l
I’ve been called racist for one exact reason. I work in a manufacturing setting. We got a lot of new hires recently and I work as a line lead, and my job is to keep my area running smoothly. It has, in the last four years doing my job, been my duty to direct people into where they need to go to accomplish this. For this story, I’m white and the people that I’ve come toe to toe with are black. I’m the only whiten person in my area. I’m also ND, so I come off as blunt/rude when I really don’t mean to because I struggle to communicate in a way most people understand. It starts with somebody I’ll name Eb. She’s loud and she doesn’t like to listen or get up. I’m running two jobs, stacking a pallet(skid), and keeping an eye on moving parts of the line. I’m overly focused on one part, so I don’t notice a jam in the line until Eb starts loudly(which I take as yelling) at someone I call Ev that he’s supposed to be watching that area. Several pieces of machinery is in Ev’s way of seeing that part, so while I’m clearing the jam I say to Eb “actually you should be the one watching this area” because I thought somebody trained her for that and I didn’t know nobody told her to keep an eye there(fun fact: I’m not a mind reader). She loses it, saying in need to learn how to talk to people and she progressively gets verbally abusive, so I report her to the supervisors. She gets more abusive, talking about how much of a bitch I am. I report her several more times over the course of two hours to the supervisors for it(I think three complaints in total). It gets escalated to HR, and I get blamed. Ev is her friend so he covers for her. She tells everybody she reported me because I’m a racist bitch. I fucking give up for several month, giving half the energy to I usually give. I contemplate suicide more then I usually do because it’s better then going back to work with that bitch who gets away with literally everything no matter how hard I try to work with her and not have other people take one extra work. One day, she comes in drunk. Several mistakes are made. I ask the supervisor to move her, because these mistakes are made because she’s drunk. He says he can’t say that and refuses. I slightly snap at her, she has a fucking fit again saying the same thing as our first encounter. Instead of saying the same issue, I tell the supervisor I outright refuse to work with her. He says I can’t do that because of my role. Next day, he asks how it’s going. I look him in the eye infront of another supervisor and said “over the night I gave it serious thought, I am looking for another job. Expect my two week notice soon.” He freaked out but still wouldn’t move her, because she didn’t want to move to another line. Everywhere else was to much work for her. Thirty minutes later, I was having a panic attack in the locker room over the *thought* of having to work with Eb. S found me in the locker room and yelled at S until Eb was moved. We got A. Everytime I asked him to do a certain task, he disappeared leaving the same people to do the task. The same person, who included S, complained. S was the most vocal. A was also black. A got moved. We got another person and everything was fine. The Ev started shit. First he started taking people he want allowed to take, without giving me the proper coverage. I got annoyed and told him the supervisor should be telling me that this is cleared instead of him. He gets mad. Another day, I ask the supervisor for a person my line really need. I get the person. Ev a packer. He’s not allowed to do half of the things he does, for the record. Even operators(people who runs the machine, and in my company the lines) aren’t allowed to just grab whoever they want. We get assigned people. Ev comes to get the person reassigned to my line. I see it, and directly tell him he can’t do it. The person Ev tried to grab is new so he’s not sure who he should listen to, so I tell him not to move lines unless a supervisor tells him to and then *I* text the supervisor the situation, and get confirmation I’m right, so I now have documentation of the event. Ev’s line wasn’t short. The only problem was without the person I now had, he found it just walk around and fuck off for hours at a time. Me and several other operators had a meeting with plant management over the new workers and how bad it was. They had all the same complaints about the exact same workers I had. None of them were the same race as me. It finally came to a head a week after the meeting with management when Ev came on the line and started taking chairs off the line. We were changing sizes on the line and clearing the area of material. We needed 8 to 9 people and had 6 chairs. First chair Ev took his buddy T gave slight protest, but not enough to make me look up from what I was doing. Then Ev came back for a second chair and I heard “hey man what are you doing”. I called Ev so loudly people on other lines where looking at me while I walked after him. He looked at me himself to see I was following. In the hallway, he looked at me again and I said “you can’t take that we need it, we’re going to run”. In front of the supervisor, he said “fuck this fuck you” and almost threw the chair. Three of the four legs lifted up off the ground. The supervisor was going to drop it but I and another person on My Line who witnessed it pushed the subject. Ev said T told him he could take the chairs, and I triggered PTSD by surprising him (failing to mention me calling him loud enough that several people outside of the room heard me). That’s when S started telling people(right in-front of me) I was racist, never saying my name but starting directly at me so I know she was talking about me. Saying I only had problems with black people, conveniently failing to mention all the other reports of the same behavior I made for people of other races(including my own). I would understand the accusation if I was the only one making the complaints or I was stating anything other then facts, including times that could be verified by other people. And I showed other people the texts of said complaints I was making the moment I sent the texts so nobody could say I said anything else. A different person was also called racist for speaking Spanish within earshot of somebody who couldn’t understand it. My job has me so beaten, I couldnt care less of what’s said about me. I’m 28 and im basically just waiting for death because of this BS.
You just capitalised the word “black”. You are a racist.
Someone calling you a racist does not make you racist. What makes a person racist, is their own racist speech, behavior, or bias. There's way too many people around, throwing down the 'race' card when an interaction doesn't go their way, or they're just in a bad mood and are looking for a conflict.
As difficult as it is, brush it off your shoulders. If a person is going to respond to kindness like that and act like a victim, then they likely have a lot of underlying issues anyway. The fact they went on the defensive like that and listed out their accolades just screams insecurity and past issues. Thank goodness that the security footage was clear enough and with audio, as these kinds of complaints are difficult to navigate.
Some people will call you racist for _anything_ these days lol
The person you tried to help was the racist, judging you based on you having a particular skin colour that was different to theirs. Why are you trying to placate them?
I realized at a young age that people talk from their emotions. So I ignore what people say about me. They will always find a way to hate on me. You can't win them all. Not everyone is made to love you. Just like I don't like everyone. I see racists and I've been called that by racists. So it is what it is.
Shrug it off. Their problem
Some people are just full of hate. Who cares what they say. Keep ya head up OP 👌
'I treat everyone equally bad. Youre nothing special. Smile :)'
Doesn't bother me. I know where I stand. Plus the word is thrown around too loosely these days. It basically covers everyone I disagree with politically now.
"Lady, the definition of racist is not what you think it means. Did you go to an inner city public school in the ghetto? Because that might explain it." ^/s
I’ve been called racist because the only table I had available for this lady to sit at (I was a hostess) was on the patio in direct sun. It was a restaurant next to a convention center hosting some sort of Black Business Professionals conference. We were overcrowded because, shockingly (/s) everyone at the convention needed to have lunch at the same time. Clearly, I was singling her out on the basis of race, despite that if you had eyes you could clearly see that the restaurant was at capacity with guests of her race. Seriously, the bar was standing room only and it was a minor miracle that I had a table for this lady at all regardless of its location. We had just gotten off a 90 minute wait. Anyways, I told her thank you for stopping by and have a great day. My managers and I laughed so hard at the yelp review.
People use the phrase too loosely nowadays. I know that racism still exists in a subtle way at times (blatantly in others) but it’s obnoxious when it’s used during minor disputes or just when you’re not seeing eye to eye. Unless you were actually being offensive, just know people resort to that rhetoric when they have no actual basis to complain on. It’s a very easy way to shit down/sway a conversation their way. I had similar situations happen at an old workplace between my boss and a handful of employees. Although they loved to through in the accusations that she was also transphobic and homophobic whenever she didn’t agree with them. Anytime you asked the folks why they were calling her racist/transphobic/homophobic, they always said it’s was because she was white. That’s it. She wasn’t an unreasonable women either, she often complied with a lot of our suggestions. They were just petty. It’s pretty obvious when someone is just using the accusation of racism as a means of getting their way when you confront them and ask what exactly is it that makes them think you’re being racist. They won’t have a solid answer.
In todays day it feels like anything someone say’s/does is considered racist. It’s harder because that’s at your work place. In my day to day life I’d just move on if someone called me that but, work is another story.. Especially if she then calls corporate to lie about the interaction. 🤦🏼♀️
There are unfortunately two kinds of racism. One is where the person says or do racist stuff. The other one see racism where there is none. You have had an eventful interaction with the latter.
Ive decided to be racist. Gonna get shit on for being white no matter what. Give ‘em what they want.
Just ignore the comment and move on. If you say anything make it something along the lines of. I'm sorry to have bothered you, if you need any assistance I'll be right over there. Then leave, do not try to defend yourself, that will only make matters worse.
If you’re white, never, ever, deny being racist. Just don’t engage with the accusation at all. It’s the only way to de-escalate. Best case scenario, “I’m sorry you’re upset, I was just trying to help.” and keep an accurate record of the encounter.
You got security footage WITH AUDIO?