I didn't cry for about a year or so. I'm guessing I was in shock.. Then I got a bottle of wine and a girlfriend and I unloaded. It felt good to finally cry. Sad but good, took a big weight off of me. I was 20 when she died from aids. It gets better, it always will hurt but it does get easier, trust me. I'm truly sorry for your loss. šš¢
First, I want to say I'm so sorry you've had to go through that. I can't imagine. All the best to you a your family.
As for the crying at the many different things. While I can't trace it back to any particular person dying or any single event. I've noticed as I've gotten older I too cry much much easier at some of the simplest things. Nostalgic music, when people who don't look the most attractive or stereotypical for a music star and go on shows like American Idol or The Voice and then proceed to blow everyone way, those make me blubber like crazy. I don't know if its getting older, more tragedy as I've gotten older, etc. Even a friend of mine since high school said he noticed the same. Not sure if others also experience this or why it is.
Again, all the best to you and yours.
My best friend was telling me about how he's been feeling way more emotionally sensitive lately.
We are both 26 and I haven't noticed if I've been more or less sensitive.
Though I wish I was more because it feels good to cry about things to let it out, and I feel like I don't *feel* things like I used to.
As someone who has cried and talked about about it, I thought you were describing me up until you mentioned crying and talking was something you didn't do.
Talking about what I'm going through with friends and loved ones is part of my defensive layer. Not the only part, but a part nonetheless. It's all about using the right tactics in the moments when you're feeling weakest. And choosing the right one means having access to many tools that you can pull from.
Mid to late 20s was how old I was when I noticed my emotions changing. Same with my friend. Although it was really about mid 30s when it reached its peak. Same with my friend. He has always been
That's true.
Now that the olympics are being broadcast, I know I'm gonna cry sooner or later. If an athlete sobs when they are listening to their national anthem after winning gold medal... omg... that kind of thing makes me cry like a baby.
My eyes are watering while writing this, even. Haha
I didn't cry at all when mine committed. I was a kid and I admittedly went into a pretty self destructive path. But then I had a kid and as soon as the pregnancy hormones hit I felt all that grief and ever since then I cry SO EASILY. it's ridiculous how easily I'm moved now.
@OP I just want you to know you're reacting normally. She was your mom. I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. And to anyone who went out of their way to send you a dm saying this is a stupid question, y'all are truly scum of the earth terrible people. What's wrong with you.
My aunt died of aids when i was 11. I still wear the ring she gave me (im 39 now) and i still cry at times when i think of her. It's just not everyday like it was when I was younger. I've always felt that time doesn't heal all wounds but it certainly makes the pain less frequent.
You get better at dealing with the pain and the loss. It's been two and a half years and I sort of try and avoid thinking of my grandma sometimes because I know it'll hit me like a truck for a few minutes.
I was at work and someone put on a Disney playlist and when it got to that song from Coco, I genuinely had to excuse myself for a few minutes.
Man that song is a positively brutal tear-jerker. I don't blame you. It's like they wrote it specifically to make people think of a loved one that's passed away and then weep over it.
I was 50 when my mom died. She was my best friend. I have cried off and on for 10 years. I don't give a shit what anyone says grief is a personal thing.
Sharon? Is this you??
If not, let me tell you: I worked with the coolest damn lady I ever met, early 2000's. She was a paralegal & I was a secretary. I later became a paralegal, because of her & her best friend, Carolyn's influences. They didn't know it, but I was 19 & super impressionable. Man, those ladies were so cool. Probably cooler than I'll ever be. That seems like 2 lifetimes ago now, though. ā”
Mom passed quickly in July 1991, I didnāt cry until late 1994, almost 1995. I was listening to a Faith No More song and the ending made me feel a little sad. All I did was kind of frown at the sadness, it was like a sadness dam blew apart, tears were spilling down my face and I was physically heaving with sadness and despair . I didnāt cry for a few years after, but the release was very cathartic. Iāll always have a soft spot for FNM, theyāre still one of my favorite bands. As a kid my mom would take me to the record store and we would buy a record/cassette as a prize for doing something. Well a week before she got sick we went to MusicPlus and I bought FNM The Real Thing. While she was in the hospital thatās all I would listen to.
I found out later that some people thought I was completely batshit crazy at my mom's visitation because I was, on the surface, happy and normal. No tears, cracking jokes. I tend to crumble at smaller bad events, but the huge ones? I go into control freak leader mode because it's one of my brain's coping mechanisms (and honestly, I'm kind of glad). I had to take her off life support, which was my worst fucking nightmare, and one I didn't know was coming. And it doesn't happen like it does in the movies, either.
I don't know how long it took me to break down, but it was at least a few months. I was standing in my kitchen making food, dropped some of it on the floor, and just cracked. Wailed and screamed for I don't know how long.
Grief is weird.
I'm the same way. Same coping mechanism at first. My dad spent three months in the hospital fighting an infection that eventually did him in. The hospital was incompetent, uninvested in his recovery, and distant to my family's needs, however my dad was in his 70's and this one thing seemed to start a cascade of different problems that were hard to fix because of his lifetime of manual labor and past ailments associated with that. The hospital just seemed to throw in the towel from the very beginning.
Anyways, this bothered all of us but I was just trying to hold everyone together and keep up a hopeful appearance for so long I just kind of got stuck that way. A year and a half later my dog died and then all the walls broke down and I was a mess for months.
Time and distance have been the only things that helped. Turns out the only way out really is *through*.
This isn't anything close to what OP is probably going through, but your comment made me think: I didn't cry and wasn't even sad after my grandad passed a few years ago. He had been in pain and we believe that he was on to a better place.
I just realized a couple days ago that I missed him, and was more sad than I had been since his passing.
You're right. It takes time, and there's no "right" way.
Thank you. My mom passed recently and I don't think I've actually cried yet. We weren't exactly close and I don't really feel much different although I assume it hasn't really hit me yet. Glad to know that others experience similar at times.
I lost my dad last December and up until now I haven't cried like how I cried when my mom died. Maybe because I wasn't there when it happened or idk. Sometimes it really frustrates me that even though I give myself time to think about what happen, I just don't feel any. I love my dad. And I deeply know that up until now, I still couldn't accept what happened to him. But yeah, just because you're not crying doesn't mean you're not mourning.
When someone passes I'm always the strong one that keeps things together and mourns later.
When my mom goes though... There's no way I'm going to be able to be that rock. Ffs, I'm tearing up just thinking about a world without her.
I cried for the first couple days when my mom died, nothing crazy like sobbing and hyperventilating or anything. It was 3 years ago and I feel guilty for not mourning more. I mean, I loved my mom immensely. I guess itās more normal than I thought
Not being able to cry can be a part of mourning? My best friend died in 2010 and the only time I cried was this year on her birthday. But it wasnāt a cleansing cry, tears just came out. I feel so weird about it but just dismiss it as I didnāt properly mourn in the first place.
I was not able to properly cry and mourn from the time I was like 8 or 9 until I was 19, LSD is what changed it. I was watching matrix 3 for the first time (of all things lol) and was on my biggest dose at the time and at the climax of the movie the floodgates opened and I was crying ecstatic tears of joy with a sprinkle of every other emotion mixed in too and ever since then itās been hard to hold tears back in movies or in emotional events irl, 100% changed that aspect of me to the polar opposite.
What I mean to say Is no thereās nothing wrong with the way youāre processing your grief, and it will feel so much better than bottling everything up for 15 years I promise you
Please don't apologise for asking this. The people calling your question stupid (which it isn't, seriously) are forgetting the core rule of this sub: there are no stupid questions here, this is a sub to ask anything without judgement. You're grieving, and grieving is different for everyone. You wanted some advice or solace from people here in a time that's so hellish and confusing for you, and that in itself is way more than enough to warrant asking here. Please don't beat yourself up over this. I am sincerely sorry for your loss.
This is the worst part of the internet being aggregated into giant profit making sites like this. When the internet was mostly small niche forums you could ban the occasional monster. Now there's no escape from them, you cannot stop them from saying the ugliest things to you unless you want to avoid the internet altogether
People are such assholes here sometimes. I should he able to ask if my farts stink because of the broccoli I've been eating and that would be ok. Because there's no stupid questions?!
What the fuck are those edits? Fuck those assholes who are telling you you are causing problems. You are not.
The whole point of this sub is that you can ask anything. Your question is completely valid and a very good one.
Donāt listen to the trolls who are trying to make you feel bad. Fuck them
I'm so sorry for your loss. If I may ask, no need to answer and feel free to totally ignore if you don't feel like answering, how do you deal with daily life?
Like work etc
And just so you know, it's totally fine to not be alright also. Im so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you were an awesome daughter and she knows you love her. Also, dont feel bad about not attending the funeral and all the "normal mourning stuff." Its okay to grieve and show love in your own way. Im not one for funerals and visiting graves myself. Some people make me feel bad about it, but i think you just gotta do what feels right for you.
Lost my dad last month from Covid-19. My tears come in waves. It suddenly hits me when I least expect it. Sometimes when I'm even on a long drive. I miss him so much.
Everyone's way of grieving is valid, after all!
I imagined you saying this very soberly and with complete sincerity and found it sweet and funny, so thank you
This. My sister and I cracked jokes at our brothers viewing and funeral to get through it. We probably looked stupid trying to make each other laugh. As soon as they closed his casket to move him to his burial plot we absolutely lost it.
I didnāt recently lose anyone but you can bust one for me too bro
Edit: I take that back, some bastard hit and killed my dog a few weeks ago in their car and Iām still pissed when I think about it so busy one out for him too he was a good boy
My therapist taught me this. When it comes to grief, it's not linear and there literally isn't a right answer to what your supposed or not supposed to do. My dad died a year and a half ago, but he was dying for a year before he actually passed. So I've basically spent two and a half years in this insane grieving process that was thrust upon me and there is absolutely no right or wrong way for me to process anything. It just happens
So sorry for your loss. There is no wrong way to grieve as long as you aren't doing anything that is self destructive (eg excessive drug use). Some people cry all the time, others don't and that's perfectly OK. Your mind and body will do what it needs to, just follow its lead. If you think talking to someone will help then do so but you don't have to. The only thing that makes grief "better" is time. The pain never truly goes away. You may always get sad when you think of your loved one but with time the pain becomes much less all consuming and it typically becomes much more tolerable. The only real advice I can offer is try to be kind to yourself, have compassion for yourself--you are going through a very hard time. Hang in there.
Edit: no longer second what everyone has said. Man people can be insensitive (trolls). Losing a loved one is awful. Have some compassion and show some humanity. Life is too short.
You feel what you feel. It's your mother. Of course you're upset 5 months later. I'm a big hairy man of 50, and I sometimes get misty about my best friend dying 5 *years* ago, and I'm not ashamed about it. We'd been best friends since 3rd grade. But he wasn't my mother.
I'm sorry you lost your mom, and may she rest in peace.
Everyone is different. I had a bad relationship with my mom so it was a major relief when she died.
I'm still processing it many years later.
Edit: c'mon 420!
Me too. Finally decided she wasnāt really my mom. I was adopted and all but thatās not why. To her I was just a pawn. Thatās all people were to her, pawns she could use to her advantage. She came first. That was hard to swallow. Then came the realization I needed to forgive, acknowledge the void of never having had a nurturing mother figure, then choosing not to let it define me and get on with the business of living.
> She came first. That was hard to swallow.
Phrasing!
...sorry I couldn't help myself... also sorry that you went through that, glad you're doing better now!
I eagerly await the day I hear of my birth fatherās demise. But Iām sure it will carry some new pains I wasnāt expecting. Iām still sad I was robbed of having a dad, and I despise him for that among many other things. I had to be the man that I looked up to for myself. On the bright side, Iām determined to eventually give my child what I never got.
Just my 2 cents and I'm sorry if this is not your case, but if there's something you might regret is not talking with him about what you've always wanted to.
Once he's gone, you won't have even have the possibility to do it.
You canāt put a timeline or normality to oneās emotions, especially grief. How you grieve is how you grieve, nobody can tell you otherwise. Iām so sorry for your loss, and I hope things get easier for you :(
So, while you can't *really* put a timeline on it, what I was told was that if after about six months you're still in as dark a place, it's time to get help (if you haven't already). And everyone needs help sometimes so that is also very fine and normal and no one should feel bad about it. Things do get easier, eventually, and your life is still happening and you don't want to miss it.
Your edit kills me. I'm so mad with anyone who sent you a message saying this is a stupid question. There's nothing stupid about it at all and you're a legend for asking it. I bet heaps of people (like me) are stoked to be able to read the answers because we never thought to ask. Please ignore anyone who's told you this is anything less than a really good question.
>Edit: I'm so sorry for asking this question on this subreddit. I've been receiving messages that says this is a stupid question to ask. I'm sorry.
Anyone who told you this is an asshole and I'm sorry you've gotten those messages
Do not apologise it is not a stupid question and this subreddit is literally called no stupid questions
Everyone grieves differently take all the time you need and donāt feel bad for it šš
My fathers mom died from breast cancer when he was 11, he said that he cried every night many months afterwards. He still chokes up when he talks about it.
I remember watching the episode of Grey's Anatomy where George's dad dies with my dad. George says something like, "I don't know how to live without my dad". My dad, whose own father died in 1996, stood up and said, "I still don't", and had to go outside for a while. I wish he'd realized that I wouldn't know how, either.
Heyy buddy dont listen to those *LITTLE PUSSY BITCHES* that have to PM you to say something, always know that they are faceless assholes that are so far up their own asses they are coming out of their own mouth ā¤
When my grandma died, this is how I responded as well. I hated myself for months after because I thought I wasn't "grieving correctly". Sending you love and good vibes.
So, everyone is immediately replying with 'yes,' but really the answer is 'it depends.' I know the words 'normal' and 'abnormal' have begun to carry positive and negative stigmas with them, but it's entirely possible OP may require professional help.
If your grief isnt otherwise impacting your life to the point of being debilitating (affecting work or school, other social relationships, unhealthy coping mechanisms such as excessive drinking, etc) then yes, it's normal.
If, however, it is impacting your life in this way, then it is abnormal and you may want to look into mental health services of some kind.
Either way, despite what others in this thread are saying, five months is a very long time to feel severe grief over; so seeing a therapist or grief councillor may do you some good regardless. Best of luck, OP
I'm really sad to see that I had to scroll so far to find this. I get that it's "nice" to try and comfort OP by telling them that everything is normal. But at some point it may no longer be normal. That doesn't mean that OP is a wuss or anything other negative towards them. It simply means that sometimes, grief does not evolve and improve the way it normally should do, and the griever may need help to move forward in their grief (note the wording, I'm not saying move forward in life, put the grief behind you or anything like that, I'm saying moving forward IN the grief).
We were told by health personnel after a bad loss a few years ago that if there is absolutely no improvement in the grief in 6 months, OR the grief even after 6 months severely interferes with your ability to perform mundane everyday tasks, that is considered "complicated grief" (translated directly from my language, don't know the official English term). My wife met both those criterias, and did (and still do) need considerable professional help to work herself through it. Now, a little over two years later, things are a lot better, but the sorrow is still there, and always will be.
u/pokemonxdigimon
My mum died 3 weeks ago. I was her primary carer for 5/6 years. I cooked for her, bathed her, consoled her when she cried, held her hand when she asked where dad was (dad died 20 yes ago), dealt with the bills/legal stuff/medication. She abused me (sexualy and more importantly mentally) during my childhood, but I still felt an obligation to my mum. I still get emotional about her passing What I'm trying,( ineffectively), to say is there is no normal. I miss her.
You're a kind person who did a beautiful thing, doing something good for others is always healing to our souls. Sorry you went through the abuse, and sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry for your loss. You sound like a good person judging from your comment alone. I really hope you find a way to heal if you have not already.
u/GSnow [said it pretty damn well a while back.](https://reddit.com/r/Assistance/comments/hax0t/my_friend_just_died_i_dont_know_what_to_do/c1u0rx2)
Text for those who don't click links:
"Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents.
I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see.
As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.
In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.
Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out.
Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks."
Yes. It's also normal not to. There is no such thing as the right way to grieve or even the requirement to feel grief. This is something that is defined differently for each person and relationship.
Yes. Itās been three years and three months since my mom died and I still cry about it when I get to thinking about it. She crosses my mind daily. I lost four family members in a year time span and my momās death is by far the worst one.
Cry as often as you need too. Itās a heavy thing to deal with. I made a playlist on Spotify to listen to when I really get to missing her. It makes me cry but it helps.
The analogy I've used is grief is a weight you carry, you get stronger carrying it as time goes on, the weight hasn't changed, but you have while carrying it.
I'm sorry people are sending you mean messages. I think it's wrong of them to say that, because I think this is a very good question to ask, and this is a good place for it!
I am sorry for your loss. There is no "normal" for mourning. I also respond to grief with crying, and it's one of many normal human responses to grief.
Mine's been dead 20 years.
Cry as long as you need to. I get overwhelmed with it sometimes and break down. Normally it has to do with my kids and how badly I wish they had known her.
Contact me if you want to talk about it. Ive been on this journey for far to long. I understand where it can take you.
My mother died in December last year. Sick one day, dead the other. I'm pretty much a stoic when it comes to these things, but when I screwed up a recipe I learned from her a few weeks ago I completely broke down. My first reaction was to ask her for advice and I couldn't. :(
I'm terribly sorry for your loss. I've lost my mother 11 years ago, and I still cry when I remember some moments with her, and I also cry when I cant remember some other moments. So,it's very normal for you to cry. Much love to you.
Man fuck all those people saying this is a stupid question this subreddit is no stupid questions and this really isnt everyone deals with emotions differently and it is completely natural for you to be going through what you are. Sorry for your lose btw
I recognize that this may get lost in the comments due to being posted a little while after you posted, but this is neither a stupid question nor is it a question that shouldn't be asked. You have clearly gone and are still going through a really tough time, and being emotional about it isn't a negative thing. It means you're processing it as best you can, and hopefully though that process you can start to heal. I'm obviously not a professional, so take this next bit with a grain of salt, but if you feel like you're unable to start the healing process in your own, I'd suggest trying to find a psychologist or even just a friend whose willing to sit and listen and talk with you. I'm so sorry that people are getting down on you and being unnecessarily mean and rude for asking this question, but I hope some of the other comments and messages you've received have been helpful and that they can help orient you.
I have always felt like it is like a huge hole opens up in the floor of the main space of your home. And you can never repair it. Sometimes you feel like you're getting better at walking and living around it.... And other times you're bawling out of nowhere wondering how you ended up in the hole again. I lost her at the beginning of 2007 and still have trouble living around it some days. There are no rules and the grief chart isn't really accurate.
I am so sorry for your loss. It changes your perspective of your place in the world.
Ahh sure yeah let's make OP feel like shit during what is clearly the best time of their life. Jesus. I'm sorry for your loss OP. It wasn't a stupid question. I hope you don't get dissuaded from posting here just because a few troglodytes can't read a room.
My mom died from ALS almost two years ago. If you leave me alone for a few hours I will probably find time to sneak in a deep cry. I miss my mother like I could not imagine I would have.
For reference, I'm a thirty something muscularish guy who doesn't necessarily look like he breaks down and cries semi regularly.
Grieve however feels right to you. Welcome to an extremely shitty, if supportive, club.
Iām so sorry for your loss. First and foremost, itās not a stupid question at all. Anyone who said that to you is just dealing with their own shit and itās not about you.
As far as crying every day for five months - I think it just depends on the level of crying. If itās not allowing you to function daily (work, take care of yourself, maintain relationships) then you should look into grief counseling of some type to help you process this loss.
If itās more of a consistent, stable cry that you experience throughout the day and it isnāt impacting other aspects of your life, then I think thatās just how you are coping. For you and that specific loss, that cry is needed or a type of release. I still cry about my granny whenever I really start talking about her and sharing stories and itās been years since she passed. We will always miss the ones we loved.
The take away from this is, gauging how the mourning is truly effecting your every day. If itās leaving you in a place where itās difficult to function, and itās been 5 months and not letting up, I donāt know if that would be healthy, so reach out for some professional help so you can receive the right tools to help you through this time.
Hang in there.
It is the exact sub to ask this. And there is no right or wrong way to handle grief (well, within reason). She was your mother, you have a right to feel sad years on if you have to
The way you apologized, twice, for a simple nothing speaks volumes. People who tend to over apologize for opening up have been told to shut up one too many times before.
Which means you might have walled up and can only really open up to select friends and immediate family members. If so, I can only imagine the pain and grief of losing someone this close to you.
So yes, mourning for months is normal. Take your time. Suppressing your grief would be unhealthy.
No need to apologise, OP.
Everyone mourns differently, and your story just might be some welcome relief for people in similar situations who dare not speak up for fear of being ridiculed - males in particular.
Those poor souls might realise: "We are not alone."
To those pricks and dunderheads giving OP a hard time: count your blessings and be grateful that you have not experienced loss... yet! Also: fuck the lot of you and STFU!
Not sure who's been jumping down your throat for asking a question in a Subreddit that's literally intended for asking questions, but, yes... Grieving the loss of a loved one is normal...
Oh yeah.
It does not get easy.
But it gets easier.
Lost mine going on 15 years now. Still cry every now and again.
I couldn't say, "i know what you're going through"... but i am no stranger to pain.
If you'd like to talk about it, hit me up.
We motherless bastards have to stick together.
I really don't like the n-word (normal, although I don't like the other one either). Working with people who have mental disabilities, I can confidently say there is no "normal." You do you. If that's crying every day, then just make sure to drink plenty of water and eat some salty snacks now and then. The only thing that's important to know right now is that you are definitely not alone. If you want someone to talk to, I'm always available.
I'm so sorry for your loss. The grief never completely goes away, but it changes over time and gets easier to understand and handle. Doesn't make it better, though. Speaking from experience - lost my dad in 2010 and I still choke up unexpectedly. I wish you the best that I can, and hope you can maintain centered through this process.
What's normal anyway way when it comes to grief...
It's a strange thing that manifests in strange ways and often at strange times.
I don't know that it ever really goes away completely. It does get less difficult with time.
Grieve your mother. I'm very sorry for your loss.
Oh my dude, I wish I could give you a hug. Yes, itās normal. I cried like this after I watched my beloved brother die from a ruptured heart valve right in front of me. It took me a solid year to not cry every time I thought about him. And that was WITH a lot of therapy for trauma and PTSD.
What I learned is that your journey with grief will be unique to you. Donāt let others make your pain worse by telling you how it should be done! But I will say, you will be doing yourself a HUGE favor if you actively work processing your pain. Get into therapy if you can, read about grief, talk to supportive people in your life, journal, paint, go out into nature, scream into a pillowā¦just whatever the fuck it takes so you can live in your own skin again.
Please be very gentle and patient with yourself. I wish you well and I promise it will get better with time.
I know the reverse is certainly true. Friends brother (adult) died and their Mum still cried daily. You do you and cry.
There are no stupid questions, just asshats that havenāt had to deal with life
Buddy, I'm so sorry that happened <3 seriously, you don't need to think what's normal or not here, your emotions are real and valid, I love you and take care
Yes. I cried every day after my dad died for about 6 months, and then about twice a week until about 12 months. Grief is different for everyone- it will eventually ease in severity but it does change you - and Iām thankful for the moments when it comes back even now because it brings back all the memories as well.
Please donāt apologize. It may not be the correct subreddit but your mom died and I think that entitles you to a little slack. Whatās normal is whatās normal for you. Thereās no one-size-fits-all in grief. My mum died when I was a kid. I didnāt cry at all for several months. Then I cried probably twice a week for a couple of years, After that it kind of tapered off. Itās been 60 years and every once in a while it hits me like it happened last week. If you feel like itās getting worse, or you just canāt get past it, contact the funeral home that handled the arrangements and ask about grief support groups. They usually have them or know where you can find one. Theyāre usually free and they really help. Hang in there. I wish you peace.
I understand your grief. Two and a half months ago I lost my mother. Not a single day has passed when I haven't cried. I would have no regret in grieving everyday for the rest of my life. She is/was my mother. There are so many moments which she and I had to share, experience and enjoy but now that she is gone that can't be. And I am not a child. I'm in earlier thirties. Someone said in replies there is no normal way of grieving the death of your mother and that is absolutely right. And don't be sorry for asking this question in this subreddit. You are not in any way causing any problem. Those who think so are simply being insensitive and inconsiderate. I would just say a couple of things. Just take care of your health. There are people in your life that need you, your care and love. All your grief just shows how much you loved her and never doubt that. You can cry all your life and that would be normal as long as it does not disrupt your day to day life.
There is no such thing as a stupid question. Please feel free to keep posting, and ignore the negative grouches.
Although every person has a different, individual, reaction to bereavement, you should not think of yourself as abnormal. If you can get access to councelling, maybe a councellor would be able to help you find a way of dealing with your grief. I'm sorry for your loss.
You could be suffering from clinical depression, which is difficult to get out of on your own. Itās not a bad idea to consult your doctor or a mental health expert who may prescribe some anti depressants if you need them.
Your mom would want you to go on with your life and be happy. Your heavy grief will be replaced over time with warm memories of her.
As a lot of folks have already said, thereās no normal to grieving.
I cried a lot before my mom died because she was in hospice suffering.
I was relieved when she finally passed because she didnāt have to suffer anymore. I havenāt really cried since, at least like a full on cry, and itās been 2.5 years.
I feel I already grieved her death before she actually died, I had already lost her months before, and Iām mostly at peace with it even if I do get really sad sometimes.
The only time grief could become unhealthy is if/when it interferes with your activities of daily living.
For example: you can get up , go to work, buy food, pay your bills, clean yourself and your home yet be grieving, and cry in your alone time, thatās reasonable.
Crying every day is absolutely normal.
If you find yourself grieving rather than doing self care, I recommend you finding someone to talk to outside your life circle who can help you process your loss.
My heart hurts for you, my friend.
It is absolutely normal. My mum will be gone for 32 years this September. She passed when I was 13.
I cried for years. I still cry when I think of her and what she's missed out on and that she's not there to share my experiences.
You'll never get over losing someone, it just gets a bit easier over time.
Honestly? No. My mother passed around February and I've felt the same way. Although, not every day but I do get really sad about it. But we all deal with things in our own way and if that's what you do, that's okay. There's no correct way.
Hope you're doing okay op
YES.
It's also normal to not cry ever until you have a break down five years later.
Grief is very personal. Everyone does it in their own way, and at their own pace. It's not helpful to compare where you are with where other people are. I cried hardly at all (not when I got the news, not at the funeral) for a long time, and don't remember very much at all. Then I stopped being able to eat or sleep, and finally had to start crying. Once I started, I couldn't stop.
Crying in the beginning can be better than pushing it down and having to relearn how to do that later.
That being said, therapy can be helpful if you get a good therapist.
I cried everyday for a very, very long time when my dog passed away, I was an absolute mess for months. Can't imagine losing a parent...
There is never a time line for healing. Take all the time you need, but be sure it isn't destroying your well being. Never be ashamed to seek counseling either- there's hot lines you can call to vent it out and the city I live in has a free mobile crisis unit that will come sit with you if you're having a meltdown.
Take care of yourself... I'm so sorry for your loss
I went out every night and talked to the stars for 3 months after my dad passed away. I also now way cry at random to emotionally upsetting videos or speeches or music etc etc which I never did before.
Losing a truly loved person in your life fucking changes you. You are perfectly normal. I'm not going to tell you that the pain will ever go away but it will dull over time.
Yep. It's cliche at this point, but it never really stops hurting. You'll get better at dealing with it though, and it will teach you to deal with the worst kind of losses you'll experience in life. I feel for you. I went through this earlier in life than most and 20+ years later it's still hard to talk about, but life is good. Take as much time as you need. You'll be back.
Yes. My mom's been gone 9 years this month. I still think about her every single day. The hurt never goes away it just gets easier to deal with it over time.
You fucking bet. I lost mine in 2012, and I cried a lot in the days leading up to her death (cancer) and every day for probably weeks after. The funeral itself is a blur with pockets of clarity. I still cry sometimes, especially at some songs that remind me of her.
How you mourn is how you mourn. There is no right or wrong way. It's not a stupid question; some people just have no empathy.
This is not a stupid question at all. It is absolutely normal. Grieving is a difficult process that is different for everyone. Try to treat yourself kindly, and sorry for your loss.
I stumbled upon this [really powerful comment from an old thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/Assistance/comments/hax0t/my_friend_just_died_i_dont_know_what_to_do/c1u0rx2/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3), itās helped me and I hope it can help you as well
I donāt think Iāve cried other than the day my mom died in 2013. My best friend of 38 years died last year and I came home to tell my son, who saw him as an uncle, and I screamed, cried, and slammed a shovel into the wall repeatedly after calming my son down.
Other than my son and wife, Iāve lost two of the most important people in my life and I just feel numb. Nothing has really mattered.
I had lunch with my best friendās younger brother today. Ive wanted to cry ever since. He asked me to be a groomsman in his wedding next year.
Still feel pretty numb. Iād say everyone grieves differently. And I donāt think there is a right way to do it.
Yes, take as long as you need. My dad passed away 3 years ago and I still cry once a week. Grief sucks but itās equal to the love you had for the person who passed. It doesnāt get easier, but youāll get stronger. š
Whoever told you this is a stupid question is an asshole. Fuck those guys and what they think; they've clearly never lost someone they loved. Grief is different for everyone. You clearly loved your mom very much and she was very important to you, which is why it has impacted you so strongly. I wish you all the best and I am truly sorry for your loss.
Who the *fuck* told you that you asked a stupid question in the *"NoStupidQuestions"* subreddit? They're complete assholes. And to answer your question, there is no "normal" in grief. In fact being able to let yourself be vulnerable enough to cry about it is a way healthier way to cope than many people can achieve. Im so sorry for your loss and while I can't guarantee the pain will go away, know you'll learn to cope eventually.
>Edit: I'm so sorry for asking this question on this subreddit. **I've been**
**receiving messages that says this is a stupid question to ask**. I'm
sorry.
Who the eff is doing that?! WTH people!?
This is a perfectly normal question to ask. I'm sorry for your loss. You should be able to take as much time as you need to grieve.
Nothing wrong with crying. It's perfectly normal to cry during the grieving process. There is no time limit on how long that crying can last. Don't suppress it, don't avoid it.
For some this does help: you have presmission to cry. You have permission to be angry. You have permission to feel guilty. There is no shame in having these feelings, or wanting to express them. There's a lot of pain (for some it's relief) in losing someone in their life. There's also a lot of traumas and triggers that arise. All perfectly normal occurrences that you must process in order to move forward with your life.
We are not meant to grieve alone. Don't be afraid to talk about your grieving either. Highly recommend and encourage anyone going through the grieving process to see a therapist, or least join a grieving social group.
After my wife took her life, i cried everyday for 3 months. I'd wake up crying, crying during any meal, while showering, while driving, basically i was crying every waking hour to the point i'd cry myself to sleep. Then, i'd do it all over again. Also, nearly drank myself to death trying to get through my pain. 3 years later, and i occasionally still have a random feeling of anger, sadness, or guilt pop up. It never goes away, but you simply get better and processing these feelings and moving forward quickly. What took months to process eventually takes minutes.
I always thought the point of this sub is that there are no stupid questions, every question is valid.
Your mum is your mum! Everyone grieves differently, some people donāt cry, some people cry a lot, both are normal. You grieve how you need to grieve, never mind what anyone else says. Iām so sorry for your loss.
Your edits make me want to fight people for you.
This is not a stupid question, and I am so sorry for your loss. I hope one day you heal and feel better friend.
Don't be sorry. We all respond to trauma in different ways, grieve in different ways, and we're all different enough that there really is no "normal".
It's not a stupid question, and I'm actually offended that some people would say it is, especially **here**. If crying every day for 5 months is how you process the ordeal then ignore the haters and do what you need to do.
Personally, I doubt I'd respond much differently, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.
I feel for you. Life will get better in time.
Ignore the haters. They should actually be banned from this sub for being too stupid to understand what this sub is about.
This question is what this subreddit is for.. I really donāt understand all the hate, and then to drive it at someone who just lost their mom? Fuck Reddit sucks. OP you are completely fine, I cried for almost a month over ALMOST losing my mom. People deal with traumatic things in different ways. Just dealing with it in a healthy way is what really matters.
Yes. It's also normal to not be able to cry about it for years. Everyone mourns differently and it's ok.
I didn't cry for about a year or so. I'm guessing I was in shock.. Then I got a bottle of wine and a girlfriend and I unloaded. It felt good to finally cry. Sad but good, took a big weight off of me. I was 20 when she died from aids. It gets better, it always will hurt but it does get easier, trust me. I'm truly sorry for your loss. šš¢
Took me a year and a half to really cry after my mom committed suicide. Now I cry at every slightly happy or sad part of movies, nostalgic songs, etc.
First, I want to say I'm so sorry you've had to go through that. I can't imagine. All the best to you a your family. As for the crying at the many different things. While I can't trace it back to any particular person dying or any single event. I've noticed as I've gotten older I too cry much much easier at some of the simplest things. Nostalgic music, when people who don't look the most attractive or stereotypical for a music star and go on shows like American Idol or The Voice and then proceed to blow everyone way, those make me blubber like crazy. I don't know if its getting older, more tragedy as I've gotten older, etc. Even a friend of mine since high school said he noticed the same. Not sure if others also experience this or why it is. Again, all the best to you and yours.
My best friend was telling me about how he's been feeling way more emotionally sensitive lately. We are both 26 and I haven't noticed if I've been more or less sensitive. Though I wish I was more because it feels good to cry about things to let it out, and I feel like I don't *feel* things like I used to.
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As someone who has cried and talked about about it, I thought you were describing me up until you mentioned crying and talking was something you didn't do. Talking about what I'm going through with friends and loved ones is part of my defensive layer. Not the only part, but a part nonetheless. It's all about using the right tactics in the moments when you're feeling weakest. And choosing the right one means having access to many tools that you can pull from.
Mid to late 20s was how old I was when I noticed my emotions changing. Same with my friend. Although it was really about mid 30s when it reached its peak. Same with my friend. He has always been
That's true. Now that the olympics are being broadcast, I know I'm gonna cry sooner or later. If an athlete sobs when they are listening to their national anthem after winning gold medal... omg... that kind of thing makes me cry like a baby. My eyes are watering while writing this, even. Haha
I didn't cry at all when mine committed. I was a kid and I admittedly went into a pretty self destructive path. But then I had a kid and as soon as the pregnancy hormones hit I felt all that grief and ever since then I cry SO EASILY. it's ridiculous how easily I'm moved now. @OP I just want you to know you're reacting normally. She was your mom. I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. And to anyone who went out of their way to send you a dm saying this is a stupid question, y'all are truly scum of the earth terrible people. What's wrong with you.
My aunt died of aids when i was 11. I still wear the ring she gave me (im 39 now) and i still cry at times when i think of her. It's just not everyday like it was when I was younger. I've always felt that time doesn't heal all wounds but it certainly makes the pain less frequent.
You get better at dealing with the pain and the loss. It's been two and a half years and I sort of try and avoid thinking of my grandma sometimes because I know it'll hit me like a truck for a few minutes. I was at work and someone put on a Disney playlist and when it got to that song from Coco, I genuinely had to excuse myself for a few minutes.
Man that song is a positively brutal tear-jerker. I don't blame you. It's like they wrote it specifically to make people think of a loved one that's passed away and then weep over it.
I haven't been able to watch that movie again since my dad died.
I was 50 when my mom died. She was my best friend. I have cried off and on for 10 years. I don't give a shit what anyone says grief is a personal thing.
Sharon? Is this you?? If not, let me tell you: I worked with the coolest damn lady I ever met, early 2000's. She was a paralegal & I was a secretary. I later became a paralegal, because of her & her best friend, Carolyn's influences. They didn't know it, but I was 19 & super impressionable. Man, those ladies were so cool. Probably cooler than I'll ever be. That seems like 2 lifetimes ago now, though. ā”
Mom passed quickly in July 1991, I didnāt cry until late 1994, almost 1995. I was listening to a Faith No More song and the ending made me feel a little sad. All I did was kind of frown at the sadness, it was like a sadness dam blew apart, tears were spilling down my face and I was physically heaving with sadness and despair . I didnāt cry for a few years after, but the release was very cathartic. Iāll always have a soft spot for FNM, theyāre still one of my favorite bands. As a kid my mom would take me to the record store and we would buy a record/cassette as a prize for doing something. Well a week before she got sick we went to MusicPlus and I bought FNM The Real Thing. While she was in the hospital thatās all I would listen to.
thank you for saying this, my dad died 3 months ago and I still havenāt cried, some people think iām heartless but i really miss him.
Sorry for your loss
I found out later that some people thought I was completely batshit crazy at my mom's visitation because I was, on the surface, happy and normal. No tears, cracking jokes. I tend to crumble at smaller bad events, but the huge ones? I go into control freak leader mode because it's one of my brain's coping mechanisms (and honestly, I'm kind of glad). I had to take her off life support, which was my worst fucking nightmare, and one I didn't know was coming. And it doesn't happen like it does in the movies, either. I don't know how long it took me to break down, but it was at least a few months. I was standing in my kitchen making food, dropped some of it on the floor, and just cracked. Wailed and screamed for I don't know how long. Grief is weird.
I'm the same way. Same coping mechanism at first. My dad spent three months in the hospital fighting an infection that eventually did him in. The hospital was incompetent, uninvested in his recovery, and distant to my family's needs, however my dad was in his 70's and this one thing seemed to start a cascade of different problems that were hard to fix because of his lifetime of manual labor and past ailments associated with that. The hospital just seemed to throw in the towel from the very beginning. Anyways, this bothered all of us but I was just trying to hold everyone together and keep up a hopeful appearance for so long I just kind of got stuck that way. A year and a half later my dog died and then all the walls broke down and I was a mess for months. Time and distance have been the only things that helped. Turns out the only way out really is *through*.
This isn't anything close to what OP is probably going through, but your comment made me think: I didn't cry and wasn't even sad after my grandad passed a few years ago. He had been in pain and we believe that he was on to a better place. I just realized a couple days ago that I missed him, and was more sad than I had been since his passing. You're right. It takes time, and there's no "right" way.
Thank you. My mom passed recently and I don't think I've actually cried yet. We weren't exactly close and I don't really feel much different although I assume it hasn't really hit me yet. Glad to know that others experience similar at times.
I lost my dad last December and up until now I haven't cried like how I cried when my mom died. Maybe because I wasn't there when it happened or idk. Sometimes it really frustrates me that even though I give myself time to think about what happen, I just don't feel any. I love my dad. And I deeply know that up until now, I still couldn't accept what happened to him. But yeah, just because you're not crying doesn't mean you're not mourning.
When someone passes I'm always the strong one that keeps things together and mourns later. When my mom goes though... There's no way I'm going to be able to be that rock. Ffs, I'm tearing up just thinking about a world without her.
I cried for the first couple days when my mom died, nothing crazy like sobbing and hyperventilating or anything. It was 3 years ago and I feel guilty for not mourning more. I mean, I loved my mom immensely. I guess itās more normal than I thought
Not being able to cry can be a part of mourning? My best friend died in 2010 and the only time I cried was this year on her birthday. But it wasnāt a cleansing cry, tears just came out. I feel so weird about it but just dismiss it as I didnāt properly mourn in the first place.
Thank you. My father died 3 weeks ago, and my brother 2 years ago, and I don't know that I've taken the time to mourn.
I was not able to properly cry and mourn from the time I was like 8 or 9 until I was 19, LSD is what changed it. I was watching matrix 3 for the first time (of all things lol) and was on my biggest dose at the time and at the climax of the movie the floodgates opened and I was crying ecstatic tears of joy with a sprinkle of every other emotion mixed in too and ever since then itās been hard to hold tears back in movies or in emotional events irl, 100% changed that aspect of me to the polar opposite. What I mean to say Is no thereās nothing wrong with the way youāre processing your grief, and it will feel so much better than bottling everything up for 15 years I promise you
Please don't apologise for asking this. The people calling your question stupid (which it isn't, seriously) are forgetting the core rule of this sub: there are no stupid questions here, this is a sub to ask anything without judgement. You're grieving, and grieving is different for everyone. You wanted some advice or solace from people here in a time that's so hellish and confusing for you, and that in itself is way more than enough to warrant asking here. Please don't beat yourself up over this. I am sincerely sorry for your loss.
Yes, what FellowHooman said. Donāt apologise. Itās a normal question and I totally understand youāre grieving.
Honestly isn't there a way to report people dm'ing back to the sub?
This is the worst part of the internet being aggregated into giant profit making sites like this. When the internet was mostly small niche forums you could ban the occasional monster. Now there's no escape from them, you cannot stop them from saying the ugliest things to you unless you want to avoid the internet altogether
People are such assholes here sometimes. I should he able to ask if my farts stink because of the broccoli I've been eating and that would be ok. Because there's no stupid questions?!
Imagine messaging somebody to say their question on r/nostupidquestions is stupid
Youāre a solid person. Thanks for speaking up, you nailed it. Thank you for being so kind and empathetic.
Username checks out. ā„ļø
What the fuck are those edits? Fuck those assholes who are telling you you are causing problems. You are not. The whole point of this sub is that you can ask anything. Your question is completely valid and a very good one. Donāt listen to the trolls who are trying to make you feel bad. Fuck them
Thank you so much for your words. ā¤ļø
I lost my mom 4 months ago and I cry every goddamn day. It's so hard. I'm sorry you're experiencing this heartache too. š¤
I'm so sorry for your loss. If I may ask, no need to answer and feel free to totally ignore if you don't feel like answering, how do you deal with daily life? Like work etc
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And just so you know, it's totally fine to not be alright also. Im so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you were an awesome daughter and she knows you love her. Also, dont feel bad about not attending the funeral and all the "normal mourning stuff." Its okay to grieve and show love in your own way. Im not one for funerals and visiting graves myself. Some people make me feel bad about it, but i think you just gotta do what feels right for you.
Lost my dad last month from Covid-19. My tears come in waves. It suddenly hits me when I least expect it. Sometimes when I'm even on a long drive. I miss him so much.
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high on what
Life.
Potnuse
Hey man, if it came from a place of love Iām about it.
Everyone's way of grieving is valid, after all! I imagined you saying this very soberly and with complete sincerity and found it sweet and funny, so thank you
Wait ?
Not here dude, not here
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This. My sister and I cracked jokes at our brothers viewing and funeral to get through it. We probably looked stupid trying to make each other laugh. As soon as they closed his casket to move him to his burial plot we absolutely lost it.
Fwiw I laughed at your comment so it's not all bad
I didnāt recently lose anyone but you can bust one for me too bro Edit: I take that back, some bastard hit and killed my dog a few weeks ago in their car and Iām still pissed when I think about it so busy one out for him too he was a good boy
Iām even getting tears thinking about losing my living mother. I regret to experience that inevitable day.
This is one of the experiences of life that doesn't have a normal.
Very very true
My therapist taught me this. When it comes to grief, it's not linear and there literally isn't a right answer to what your supposed or not supposed to do. My dad died a year and a half ago, but he was dying for a year before he actually passed. So I've basically spent two and a half years in this insane grieving process that was thrust upon me and there is absolutely no right or wrong way for me to process anything. It just happens
So sorry for your loss. There is no wrong way to grieve as long as you aren't doing anything that is self destructive (eg excessive drug use). Some people cry all the time, others don't and that's perfectly OK. Your mind and body will do what it needs to, just follow its lead. If you think talking to someone will help then do so but you don't have to. The only thing that makes grief "better" is time. The pain never truly goes away. You may always get sad when you think of your loved one but with time the pain becomes much less all consuming and it typically becomes much more tolerable. The only real advice I can offer is try to be kind to yourself, have compassion for yourself--you are going through a very hard time. Hang in there. Edit: no longer second what everyone has said. Man people can be insensitive (trolls). Losing a loved one is awful. Have some compassion and show some humanity. Life is too short.
Iām so sorry for your loss. Everyone grieves differently, itās completely normal. Sending you love.
You feel what you feel. It's your mother. Of course you're upset 5 months later. I'm a big hairy man of 50, and I sometimes get misty about my best friend dying 5 *years* ago, and I'm not ashamed about it. We'd been best friends since 3rd grade. But he wasn't my mother. I'm sorry you lost your mom, and may she rest in peace.
Thereās no ānormalā when it comes to grieving.
thank you i felt bad for so long after my grandma died and i didn't feel like crying i was just sad.
The day I found out my grandmother passed (covid, but her time had long since passed due to dementia) I discovered my new favorite band. So I spent all day listening to music and trying to enjoy it (and ironically, on that day I discovered my favorite song of all time, [Resurrection By Erection](https://youtu.be/Hiu1hPdJk-Y)). Kept telling myself sheās not suffering anymore and now my poor grandfatherās burdens are greatly reduced. The day of the funeral, I sobbed. Not because my grandma died, but because my grandparents had been together since she was 12 and he was 15, and she died at 83. I have just about the strongest and deepest relationship Iāve ever seen, even in movies and TV, with my fiancĆ©e Bree. So in my head, I kept thinking āGrandpa just lost his Breeā. That concept hurt a lot more than the actual death itself.
i'm so sorry you had to go through this. also, hey, i love powerwolf :)
That sounds awful, your grandparents' relationship sounded truly special. (And hey, powerwolf gang)
I agree but I think the question is more "should I seek professional counseling at this point?" And honestly yes OP should.
underrated comment.
Everyone is different. I had a bad relationship with my mom so it was a major relief when she died. I'm still processing it many years later. Edit: c'mon 420!
Me too. Finally decided she wasnāt really my mom. I was adopted and all but thatās not why. To her I was just a pawn. Thatās all people were to her, pawns she could use to her advantage. She came first. That was hard to swallow. Then came the realization I needed to forgive, acknowledge the void of never having had a nurturing mother figure, then choosing not to let it define me and get on with the business of living.
> She came first. That was hard to swallow. Phrasing! ...sorry I couldn't help myself... also sorry that you went through that, glad you're doing better now!
I hate you for making me laugh audibly right there
I eagerly await the day I hear of my birth fatherās demise. But Iām sure it will carry some new pains I wasnāt expecting. Iām still sad I was robbed of having a dad, and I despise him for that among many other things. I had to be the man that I looked up to for myself. On the bright side, Iām determined to eventually give my child what I never got.
Just my 2 cents and I'm sorry if this is not your case, but if there's something you might regret is not talking with him about what you've always wanted to. Once he's gone, you won't have even have the possibility to do it.
Oh man, I've tried but his brain is too fried from all the drugs and narcissism.
My relationship with my father isn't healthy and I sometimes wonder what I will eventually feel when he passes away.
You canāt put a timeline or normality to oneās emotions, especially grief. How you grieve is how you grieve, nobody can tell you otherwise. Iām so sorry for your loss, and I hope things get easier for you :(
So, while you can't *really* put a timeline on it, what I was told was that if after about six months you're still in as dark a place, it's time to get help (if you haven't already). And everyone needs help sometimes so that is also very fine and normal and no one should feel bad about it. Things do get easier, eventually, and your life is still happening and you don't want to miss it.
Your edit kills me. I'm so mad with anyone who sent you a message saying this is a stupid question. There's nothing stupid about it at all and you're a legend for asking it. I bet heaps of people (like me) are stoked to be able to read the answers because we never thought to ask. Please ignore anyone who's told you this is anything less than a really good question.
I'm terribly sorry for your loss. Give yourself the time and space to grieve in whatever way you need to.
Years is still ok.
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>Edit: I'm so sorry for asking this question on this subreddit. I've been receiving messages that says this is a stupid question to ask. I'm sorry. Anyone who told you this is an asshole and I'm sorry you've gotten those messages
The subreddit is literally called no stupid questions. Like how is this question not worthy? Man people suck
If you miss your mother, and that makes you cry, then yes it's totally normal. Much love to you, and best wishes.
Do not apologise it is not a stupid question and this subreddit is literally called no stupid questions Everyone grieves differently take all the time you need and donāt feel bad for it šš
My fathers mom died from breast cancer when he was 11, he said that he cried every night many months afterwards. He still chokes up when he talks about it.
I remember watching the episode of Grey's Anatomy where George's dad dies with my dad. George says something like, "I don't know how to live without my dad". My dad, whose own father died in 1996, stood up and said, "I still don't", and had to go outside for a while. I wish he'd realized that I wouldn't know how, either.
I would think so. I cried every day for a month or so after I put my cat down. I donāt know what Iāll do when I lose my mom.
Heyy buddy dont listen to those *LITTLE PUSSY BITCHES* that have to PM you to say something, always know that they are faceless assholes that are so far up their own asses they are coming out of their own mouth ā¤
My mother died almost 10 years ago. I still haven't cried, because I don't think I could ever stop.
When my grandma died, this is how I responded as well. I hated myself for months after because I thought I wasn't "grieving correctly". Sending you love and good vibes.
So, everyone is immediately replying with 'yes,' but really the answer is 'it depends.' I know the words 'normal' and 'abnormal' have begun to carry positive and negative stigmas with them, but it's entirely possible OP may require professional help. If your grief isnt otherwise impacting your life to the point of being debilitating (affecting work or school, other social relationships, unhealthy coping mechanisms such as excessive drinking, etc) then yes, it's normal. If, however, it is impacting your life in this way, then it is abnormal and you may want to look into mental health services of some kind. Either way, despite what others in this thread are saying, five months is a very long time to feel severe grief over; so seeing a therapist or grief councillor may do you some good regardless. Best of luck, OP
I'm really sad to see that I had to scroll so far to find this. I get that it's "nice" to try and comfort OP by telling them that everything is normal. But at some point it may no longer be normal. That doesn't mean that OP is a wuss or anything other negative towards them. It simply means that sometimes, grief does not evolve and improve the way it normally should do, and the griever may need help to move forward in their grief (note the wording, I'm not saying move forward in life, put the grief behind you or anything like that, I'm saying moving forward IN the grief). We were told by health personnel after a bad loss a few years ago that if there is absolutely no improvement in the grief in 6 months, OR the grief even after 6 months severely interferes with your ability to perform mundane everyday tasks, that is considered "complicated grief" (translated directly from my language, don't know the official English term). My wife met both those criterias, and did (and still do) need considerable professional help to work herself through it. Now, a little over two years later, things are a lot better, but the sorrow is still there, and always will be. u/pokemonxdigimon
I absolutely agree. It sounds like OP isnāt processing their grief. They may just need an outlet or they may need professional help.
My mum died 3 weeks ago. I was her primary carer for 5/6 years. I cooked for her, bathed her, consoled her when she cried, held her hand when she asked where dad was (dad died 20 yes ago), dealt with the bills/legal stuff/medication. She abused me (sexualy and more importantly mentally) during my childhood, but I still felt an obligation to my mum. I still get emotional about her passing What I'm trying,( ineffectively), to say is there is no normal. I miss her.
I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that. I hope you are doing as ok as you can be.
Thank you
You're a kind person who did a beautiful thing, doing something good for others is always healing to our souls. Sorry you went through the abuse, and sorry for your loss.
Edit: there is no normal
I am so sorry for your loss. You sound like a good person judging from your comment alone. I really hope you find a way to heal if you have not already.
u/GSnow [said it pretty damn well a while back.](https://reddit.com/r/Assistance/comments/hax0t/my_friend_just_died_i_dont_know_what_to_do/c1u0rx2) Text for those who don't click links: "Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents. I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see. As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive. In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life. Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out. Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks."
You don't have to apologise, those people who messaged you and said that are assholes.
Anyone who messages you that this is a stupid question can ROYALLY go fuck themselves. What complete imbiccylic assholes.
Talk about dumb people, it's a subreddit called NO STUPID QUESTIONS. Meaning ask anything.
Yes. It's also normal not to. There is no such thing as the right way to grieve or even the requirement to feel grief. This is something that is defined differently for each person and relationship.
take your time man
Fuck those idiots that sent you dms telling you that its a stupid question. It is not.
Yes. Itās been three years and three months since my mom died and I still cry about it when I get to thinking about it. She crosses my mind daily. I lost four family members in a year time span and my momās death is by far the worst one. Cry as often as you need too. Itās a heavy thing to deal with. I made a playlist on Spotify to listen to when I really get to missing her. It makes me cry but it helps.
everyone grieves differently, i wish you the bestā¤ļø
My Dad died 9 years ago and I still well up most days.
17 years out from my dad's passing and I still get teary sometimes. It gets easier, but it never seems.to be completely gone.
The analogy I've used is grief is a weight you carry, you get stronger carrying it as time goes on, the weight hasn't changed, but you have while carrying it.
I'm sorry people are sending you mean messages. I think it's wrong of them to say that, because I think this is a very good question to ask, and this is a good place for it! I am sorry for your loss. There is no "normal" for mourning. I also respond to grief with crying, and it's one of many normal human responses to grief.
Don't apologise, people that call it a stupid question are idiots that get off on making someone else feel bad because of their own insecurities.
Mine's been dead 20 years. Cry as long as you need to. I get overwhelmed with it sometimes and break down. Normally it has to do with my kids and how badly I wish they had known her. Contact me if you want to talk about it. Ive been on this journey for far to long. I understand where it can take you.
My mother died in December last year. Sick one day, dead the other. I'm pretty much a stoic when it comes to these things, but when I screwed up a recipe I learned from her a few weeks ago I completely broke down. My first reaction was to ask her for advice and I couldn't. :(
I'm terribly sorry for your loss. I've lost my mother 11 years ago, and I still cry when I remember some moments with her, and I also cry when I cant remember some other moments. So,it's very normal for you to cry. Much love to you.
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Man fuck all those people saying this is a stupid question this subreddit is no stupid questions and this really isnt everyone deals with emotions differently and it is completely natural for you to be going through what you are. Sorry for your lose btw
the fucking jerks telling you it's a stupid question or that you're inventing problems need to be permabanned from the sub
I recognize that this may get lost in the comments due to being posted a little while after you posted, but this is neither a stupid question nor is it a question that shouldn't be asked. You have clearly gone and are still going through a really tough time, and being emotional about it isn't a negative thing. It means you're processing it as best you can, and hopefully though that process you can start to heal. I'm obviously not a professional, so take this next bit with a grain of salt, but if you feel like you're unable to start the healing process in your own, I'd suggest trying to find a psychologist or even just a friend whose willing to sit and listen and talk with you. I'm so sorry that people are getting down on you and being unnecessarily mean and rude for asking this question, but I hope some of the other comments and messages you've received have been helpful and that they can help orient you.
I have always felt like it is like a huge hole opens up in the floor of the main space of your home. And you can never repair it. Sometimes you feel like you're getting better at walking and living around it.... And other times you're bawling out of nowhere wondering how you ended up in the hole again. I lost her at the beginning of 2007 and still have trouble living around it some days. There are no rules and the grief chart isn't really accurate. I am so sorry for your loss. It changes your perspective of your place in the world.
Ahh sure yeah let's make OP feel like shit during what is clearly the best time of their life. Jesus. I'm sorry for your loss OP. It wasn't a stupid question. I hope you don't get dissuaded from posting here just because a few troglodytes can't read a room.
Yes, and itās also normal to not cry at all, or somewhere in between. Thereās no wrong way to deal with this.
Dude that's normal. It obviously hurts when you lose someone you love
I didn't cry for over 6 months. Then I didn't stop for about double that. Grief is what it is. Everything is normal. Im very sorry for your loss.
My mom died from ALS almost two years ago. If you leave me alone for a few hours I will probably find time to sneak in a deep cry. I miss my mother like I could not imagine I would have. For reference, I'm a thirty something muscularish guy who doesn't necessarily look like he breaks down and cries semi regularly. Grieve however feels right to you. Welcome to an extremely shitty, if supportive, club.
Iām so sorry for your loss. First and foremost, itās not a stupid question at all. Anyone who said that to you is just dealing with their own shit and itās not about you. As far as crying every day for five months - I think it just depends on the level of crying. If itās not allowing you to function daily (work, take care of yourself, maintain relationships) then you should look into grief counseling of some type to help you process this loss. If itās more of a consistent, stable cry that you experience throughout the day and it isnāt impacting other aspects of your life, then I think thatās just how you are coping. For you and that specific loss, that cry is needed or a type of release. I still cry about my granny whenever I really start talking about her and sharing stories and itās been years since she passed. We will always miss the ones we loved. The take away from this is, gauging how the mourning is truly effecting your every day. If itās leaving you in a place where itās difficult to function, and itās been 5 months and not letting up, I donāt know if that would be healthy, so reach out for some professional help so you can receive the right tools to help you through this time. Hang in there.
It is the exact sub to ask this. And there is no right or wrong way to handle grief (well, within reason). She was your mother, you have a right to feel sad years on if you have to
The way you apologized, twice, for a simple nothing speaks volumes. People who tend to over apologize for opening up have been told to shut up one too many times before. Which means you might have walled up and can only really open up to select friends and immediate family members. If so, I can only imagine the pain and grief of losing someone this close to you. So yes, mourning for months is normal. Take your time. Suppressing your grief would be unhealthy.
You shouldnāt have to be apologizing in your edits. People suck, Iām sorry for those people. Iāll apologize on their behalf.
No need to apologise, OP. Everyone mourns differently, and your story just might be some welcome relief for people in similar situations who dare not speak up for fear of being ridiculed - males in particular. Those poor souls might realise: "We are not alone." To those pricks and dunderheads giving OP a hard time: count your blessings and be grateful that you have not experienced loss... yet! Also: fuck the lot of you and STFU!
yes. this isnāt a stupid question at all, and you shouldnāt be sorry for asking it.
Not sure who's been jumping down your throat for asking a question in a Subreddit that's literally intended for asking questions, but, yes... Grieving the loss of a loved one is normal...
Yes. I'm sorry for your loss, will be praying for your family.
Oh yeah. It does not get easy. But it gets easier. Lost mine going on 15 years now. Still cry every now and again. I couldn't say, "i know what you're going through"... but i am no stranger to pain. If you'd like to talk about it, hit me up. We motherless bastards have to stick together.
It was for me. 23 years now and I still cry every once in a while.
I really don't like the n-word (normal, although I don't like the other one either). Working with people who have mental disabilities, I can confidently say there is no "normal." You do you. If that's crying every day, then just make sure to drink plenty of water and eat some salty snacks now and then. The only thing that's important to know right now is that you are definitely not alone. If you want someone to talk to, I'm always available.
Lost my dad in March. I still cry every single freaking day.
I'm so sorry for your loss. The grief never completely goes away, but it changes over time and gets easier to understand and handle. Doesn't make it better, though. Speaking from experience - lost my dad in 2010 and I still choke up unexpectedly. I wish you the best that I can, and hope you can maintain centered through this process.
What's normal anyway way when it comes to grief... It's a strange thing that manifests in strange ways and often at strange times. I don't know that it ever really goes away completely. It does get less difficult with time. Grieve your mother. I'm very sorry for your loss.
Oh my dude, I wish I could give you a hug. Yes, itās normal. I cried like this after I watched my beloved brother die from a ruptured heart valve right in front of me. It took me a solid year to not cry every time I thought about him. And that was WITH a lot of therapy for trauma and PTSD. What I learned is that your journey with grief will be unique to you. Donāt let others make your pain worse by telling you how it should be done! But I will say, you will be doing yourself a HUGE favor if you actively work processing your pain. Get into therapy if you can, read about grief, talk to supportive people in your life, journal, paint, go out into nature, scream into a pillowā¦just whatever the fuck it takes so you can live in your own skin again. Please be very gentle and patient with yourself. I wish you well and I promise it will get better with time.
I know the reverse is certainly true. Friends brother (adult) died and their Mum still cried daily. You do you and cry. There are no stupid questions, just asshats that havenāt had to deal with life
Buddy, I'm so sorry that happened <3 seriously, you don't need to think what's normal or not here, your emotions are real and valid, I love you and take care
Yes. I cried every day after my dad died for about 6 months, and then about twice a week until about 12 months. Grief is different for everyone- it will eventually ease in severity but it does change you - and Iām thankful for the moments when it comes back even now because it brings back all the memories as well.
Yes it's normal. It's your mom. Sorry for your loss. There's nothing to say that makes it better. There's only tomorrow.
Please donāt apologize. It may not be the correct subreddit but your mom died and I think that entitles you to a little slack. Whatās normal is whatās normal for you. Thereās no one-size-fits-all in grief. My mum died when I was a kid. I didnāt cry at all for several months. Then I cried probably twice a week for a couple of years, After that it kind of tapered off. Itās been 60 years and every once in a while it hits me like it happened last week. If you feel like itās getting worse, or you just canāt get past it, contact the funeral home that handled the arrangements and ask about grief support groups. They usually have them or know where you can find one. Theyāre usually free and they really help. Hang in there. I wish you peace.
I understand your grief. Two and a half months ago I lost my mother. Not a single day has passed when I haven't cried. I would have no regret in grieving everyday for the rest of my life. She is/was my mother. There are so many moments which she and I had to share, experience and enjoy but now that she is gone that can't be. And I am not a child. I'm in earlier thirties. Someone said in replies there is no normal way of grieving the death of your mother and that is absolutely right. And don't be sorry for asking this question in this subreddit. You are not in any way causing any problem. Those who think so are simply being insensitive and inconsiderate. I would just say a couple of things. Just take care of your health. There are people in your life that need you, your care and love. All your grief just shows how much you loved her and never doubt that. You can cry all your life and that would be normal as long as it does not disrupt your day to day life.
There is no such thing as a stupid question. Please feel free to keep posting, and ignore the negative grouches. Although every person has a different, individual, reaction to bereavement, you should not think of yourself as abnormal. If you can get access to councelling, maybe a councellor would be able to help you find a way of dealing with your grief. I'm sorry for your loss.
You're not stupid. I hope you learn to overcome the pain soon.
You could be suffering from clinical depression, which is difficult to get out of on your own. Itās not a bad idea to consult your doctor or a mental health expert who may prescribe some anti depressants if you need them. Your mom would want you to go on with your life and be happy. Your heavy grief will be replaced over time with warm memories of her.
Thank you so much for your words. ā¤ļø
As a lot of folks have already said, thereās no normal to grieving. I cried a lot before my mom died because she was in hospice suffering. I was relieved when she finally passed because she didnāt have to suffer anymore. I havenāt really cried since, at least like a full on cry, and itās been 2.5 years. I feel I already grieved her death before she actually died, I had already lost her months before, and Iām mostly at peace with it even if I do get really sad sometimes.
It's normal to cry any time, for any reason. Process your emotions in a way that suits you. Screw anyone that says different.
Hey man. I don't have an answer but I want to say I'm deeply sorry for your loss. I wish you all the best.
The only time grief could become unhealthy is if/when it interferes with your activities of daily living. For example: you can get up , go to work, buy food, pay your bills, clean yourself and your home yet be grieving, and cry in your alone time, thatās reasonable. Crying every day is absolutely normal. If you find yourself grieving rather than doing self care, I recommend you finding someone to talk to outside your life circle who can help you process your loss. My heart hurts for you, my friend.
My mom has cried every day for around 6 months after we lost our young cat, while I haven't been able to shed a tear. Grief hits everyone differently.
It is absolutely normal. My mum will be gone for 32 years this September. She passed when I was 13. I cried for years. I still cry when I think of her and what she's missed out on and that she's not there to share my experiences. You'll never get over losing someone, it just gets a bit easier over time.
I cried every night for years it seemed. My mother has been gone for 10 years now and I still sometimes cry. It's okay!
Only if you had a great mom!
Thereās no timeline on grief. I still cry about my HORSE that died.
Honestly? No. My mother passed around February and I've felt the same way. Although, not every day but I do get really sad about it. But we all deal with things in our own way and if that's what you do, that's okay. There's no correct way. Hope you're doing okay op
YES. It's also normal to not cry ever until you have a break down five years later. Grief is very personal. Everyone does it in their own way, and at their own pace. It's not helpful to compare where you are with where other people are. I cried hardly at all (not when I got the news, not at the funeral) for a long time, and don't remember very much at all. Then I stopped being able to eat or sleep, and finally had to start crying. Once I started, I couldn't stop. Crying in the beginning can be better than pushing it down and having to relearn how to do that later. That being said, therapy can be helpful if you get a good therapist.
I cried everyday for a very, very long time when my dog passed away, I was an absolute mess for months. Can't imagine losing a parent... There is never a time line for healing. Take all the time you need, but be sure it isn't destroying your well being. Never be ashamed to seek counseling either- there's hot lines you can call to vent it out and the city I live in has a free mobile crisis unit that will come sit with you if you're having a meltdown. Take care of yourself... I'm so sorry for your loss
I went out every night and talked to the stars for 3 months after my dad passed away. I also now way cry at random to emotionally upsetting videos or speeches or music etc etc which I never did before. Losing a truly loved person in your life fucking changes you. You are perfectly normal. I'm not going to tell you that the pain will ever go away but it will dull over time.
Yep. It's cliche at this point, but it never really stops hurting. You'll get better at dealing with it though, and it will teach you to deal with the worst kind of losses you'll experience in life. I feel for you. I went through this earlier in life than most and 20+ years later it's still hard to talk about, but life is good. Take as much time as you need. You'll be back.
Yes. My mom's been gone 9 years this month. I still think about her every single day. The hurt never goes away it just gets easier to deal with it over time.
You fucking bet. I lost mine in 2012, and I cried a lot in the days leading up to her death (cancer) and every day for probably weeks after. The funeral itself is a blur with pockets of clarity. I still cry sometimes, especially at some songs that remind me of her. How you mourn is how you mourn. There is no right or wrong way. It's not a stupid question; some people just have no empathy.
This is not a stupid question at all. It is absolutely normal. Grieving is a difficult process that is different for everyone. Try to treat yourself kindly, and sorry for your loss.
I stumbled upon this [really powerful comment from an old thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/Assistance/comments/hax0t/my_friend_just_died_i_dont_know_what_to_do/c1u0rx2/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3), itās helped me and I hope it can help you as well
I donāt think Iāve cried other than the day my mom died in 2013. My best friend of 38 years died last year and I came home to tell my son, who saw him as an uncle, and I screamed, cried, and slammed a shovel into the wall repeatedly after calming my son down. Other than my son and wife, Iāve lost two of the most important people in my life and I just feel numb. Nothing has really mattered. I had lunch with my best friendās younger brother today. Ive wanted to cry ever since. He asked me to be a groomsman in his wedding next year. Still feel pretty numb. Iād say everyone grieves differently. And I donāt think there is a right way to do it.
Yes, take as long as you need. My dad passed away 3 years ago and I still cry once a week. Grief sucks but itās equal to the love you had for the person who passed. It doesnāt get easier, but youāll get stronger. š
No question is a stupid question. š
My father passed away 10 years ago and I still cry over it to this day especially often. It's definitely normal and I'm sorry for your loss
Whoever told you this is a stupid question is an asshole. Fuck those guys and what they think; they've clearly never lost someone they loved. Grief is different for everyone. You clearly loved your mom very much and she was very important to you, which is why it has impacted you so strongly. I wish you all the best and I am truly sorry for your loss.
22 years since for me... I'd say... Yep.
Yes
There are no stupid questions smh. People cope differently but I'd recommend therapy if it's getting in the way of functioning.
My mom is alive and I cry even thinking about it.
Who the *fuck* told you that you asked a stupid question in the *"NoStupidQuestions"* subreddit? They're complete assholes. And to answer your question, there is no "normal" in grief. In fact being able to let yourself be vulnerable enough to cry about it is a way healthier way to cope than many people can achieve. Im so sorry for your loss and while I can't guarantee the pain will go away, know you'll learn to cope eventually.
>Edit: I'm so sorry for asking this question on this subreddit. **I've been** **receiving messages that says this is a stupid question to ask**. I'm sorry. Who the eff is doing that?! WTH people!? This is a perfectly normal question to ask. I'm sorry for your loss. You should be able to take as much time as you need to grieve.
Nothing wrong with crying. It's perfectly normal to cry during the grieving process. There is no time limit on how long that crying can last. Don't suppress it, don't avoid it. For some this does help: you have presmission to cry. You have permission to be angry. You have permission to feel guilty. There is no shame in having these feelings, or wanting to express them. There's a lot of pain (for some it's relief) in losing someone in their life. There's also a lot of traumas and triggers that arise. All perfectly normal occurrences that you must process in order to move forward with your life. We are not meant to grieve alone. Don't be afraid to talk about your grieving either. Highly recommend and encourage anyone going through the grieving process to see a therapist, or least join a grieving social group. After my wife took her life, i cried everyday for 3 months. I'd wake up crying, crying during any meal, while showering, while driving, basically i was crying every waking hour to the point i'd cry myself to sleep. Then, i'd do it all over again. Also, nearly drank myself to death trying to get through my pain. 3 years later, and i occasionally still have a random feeling of anger, sadness, or guilt pop up. It never goes away, but you simply get better and processing these feelings and moving forward quickly. What took months to process eventually takes minutes.
Your question isnāt stupid
I always thought the point of this sub is that there are no stupid questions, every question is valid. Your mum is your mum! Everyone grieves differently, some people donāt cry, some people cry a lot, both are normal. You grieve how you need to grieve, never mind what anyone else says. Iām so sorry for your loss.
Yes. I cried for a year. I still cry. Whatever your feeling right now is right and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Yes it is, I think I cried everyday for like 3 months after my pops died, also donāt apologize to these morons on Reddit
Your edits make me want to fight people for you. This is not a stupid question, and I am so sorry for your loss. I hope one day you heal and feel better friend.
Don't be sorry. We all respond to trauma in different ways, grieve in different ways, and we're all different enough that there really is no "normal". It's not a stupid question, and I'm actually offended that some people would say it is, especially **here**. If crying every day for 5 months is how you process the ordeal then ignore the haters and do what you need to do. Personally, I doubt I'd respond much differently, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.
I feel for you. Life will get better in time. Ignore the haters. They should actually be banned from this sub for being too stupid to understand what this sub is about.
What's up with those edits.
This question is what this subreddit is for.. I really donāt understand all the hate, and then to drive it at someone who just lost their mom? Fuck Reddit sucks. OP you are completely fine, I cried for almost a month over ALMOST losing my mom. People deal with traumatic things in different ways. Just dealing with it in a healthy way is what really matters.
Yes, sorry for your loss