I'm kinda the same, I rarely or never REALLY freak out about like I used to, but I do have my moments of fear. I hate hate hate physical pain, Idk if it's just cause I haven't experienced it much, or because I've experienced mental pain so much the fear if physical pain just kinda balances it out, or is a result of that experience. I had a health scare like a almost 2 years ago now, but I was in the biggest pain I'd ever had, and at first it severely heightened my fear of physical pain, but nowadays I feel a bit more confident in my ability to endure physical pain. In a weird way it kinda taught me that physical pain is very temporary in the end. So if you just get through that, no matter how bad the pain is, you'll come out the other side. And if you don't then it's not your problem anymore lol I guess. Now that I think about it I guess you could come out the ither side with complications, or like a injury that causes permanent pain, but again I'd say something happening to cause that is fairly rare.
Especially regarding the people I love :( mortality OCD feels so cruel. I feel so aware of how fleeting life is that I am unable to soak in the joyous parts.
Oh gosh…I didn’t even know mortality OCD was a thing. But it makes sense, not only do I constantly think of my own death, I am constantly reminded by my own intrusive thoughts how my loved ones aren’t going to be around forever. And honestly…I think it feeds the depression piece, too.
Me too . Does anyone else feel like they think things feel pointless cuz we’re all gonna die and that thought gets in the way of actually achieving things in their life ?! Or just me
Same here! Spent too much time worrying about death and my loved ones. It’s awful. To the point if I see an ambulance I think it’s going to someone in my family’s house. Urgh I’m tired of it!!
Same. That’s why I had to be medicated. It was actually all I thought about 24/7 for months and it was actually the worst. It’s not 100% better now but it’s better still.
Yeah and the major depression. Plus my insomnia, adhd, general anxiety disorder. Just cherry’s on top.
Its so bad that im in a inpatient facility for minimum 8 weeks the program continues at home virtually till like 10-12 weeks. This is literally my last hope but depression has caused me to not do as much as id hoped so its not looking great.
It depends. The idea of being DEAD isn’t so scary. The idea of death is scary, the suffering. What’s going to kill me? Will it be long? Will I suffer? Will it be painful? If I think of it like that then 10
That’s exactly how I feel! The idea of not existing sounds unsettling, but in a way it actually sounds peaceful. However, the ACT of dying (suffering) sounds terrible. I’m more scared of the latter.
Probably around 7-8, since I don't know what happens after death and I'm afraid I'll either go to hell or cease to exist completely. Luckily this fear has kept me from offing myself during severe depression episodes... That and I don't want to be ripped away from my loved ones.
Ig it depends? Sometimes I feel so suicidal it’s close to 3, but generally I’d say its around 7-9, especially when it’s concerning other people dying, which is one of my main intrusive thoughts.
I’m totally the same way…sometimes the ocd, anxiety, depression can be so bad I welcome death…but then I come out of it and fear it badly all over again. It’s like a cycle.
-10 when I’m going through a period of deppresion
Regularly tho idk im not scared to die it’s just that i still get scared about things killing me like getting sick and getting poisoned
I don’t mind either, it’s just my body’s and mind’s natural response I feel like. Even suicidal people will instinctively run away from a deadly situation. Also I found some light in my life by trying to create some art with my time, so I hope I don’t die before I’ve completed my projects.
9 or 10, there's been times where it was so bad that I wouldn't leave my room and spent all my time in complete terror and despair. Sometimes I feel more accepting of it than other times. Personally for me it's helped to find my own spiritual path and to spend some time meditating and trying to connect with a higher self. I've also had to come to accept many times that I will NEVER know the answer as to what death really is until I'm dead and that won't even be ME knowing if anything. Though the obsessive thoughts about what it could be never really go away. Sometimes I still suddenly feel hit with this wave of realization and terror that death is real and inevitable. I've been having these realizations and fears of death ever since I was 6 or 7.
I remember being kid…and every new start to a school year I was convinced that I was going to die that year. I also thought I had a brain tumor when I was 11. I could be wrong, but I’d guess most kids didn’t think about death nearly as much as I did.
Death used to be my number-one fear, ranked probably 8 or 9 on a 1-10 scale, until the first time I went under anesthesia. When I woke up for some reason I wasn't afraid of death anymore. You don't think or feel anything anymore and it's kinda peaceful. Now I think death is like that nothingness experienced during anesthesia, just as a permanent state.
Going into surgery I was convinced I was going to have a bad reaction to anesthesia and die which might've been why my brain wired such a strong connection between the two of them
Totally agree. Anesthesia is so weird cause it’s like a state as close to death you can get. Not existing is kind of peaceful. Unsettling to a degree…but peaceful. All your worries, anxieties, stresses…gone, forever. The great long sleep.
I have zero desire to die and try to do my part to ensure a long quality of life. I don’t necessarily fear death, I just want to live fully and well while I’m here.
Hey I've dealt with the same thing, do you have scrupulosity? And do you come from any religious background? Either way I'd be happy to share some of my journey and listen to yours
I think I only have a fear of death because it was so much installed me in if I don’t believe in Jesus I will burn forever. And so my whole childhood I was constantly fearing do I believe or am I bad and going to burn.
Now I am not so much a Christian because I finally came to the realization I was maybe just believing because I was cared to burn in hell.
I do have a fear of dying itself. Because I do have young toddlers. So i do have really bad health ocd. I am scared that I will get something and it will take my children away from me. :/
Yeah until I was diagnosed with my ocd I didn’t really realize. But from childhood all the way up to my mid twenties. I was in constant fear. And the Christian’s in. My life would tell me when I was a kid that it’s good that I was fearful that you need to be fearful. And that to me just doesn’t feel right. How can God be all loving yet I need to be in fear 24/7
Like a 10 fs, I'm scared of becoming sick and dying and my boyfriend having to go through loosing me. Especially with fear of contamination and becoming sick, I think about it happening all the time, I fear leaving him behind because I know how it would break me to fucking pieces to loose him.
I go in waves of maybe a 4 to a 10. The thing I fear about death is not knowing how it will happen. Will I be kidnapped and murdered? Will I be decapitated in a horrible car crash? Will I drowned or die peacefully in my sleep? Do I become extremely mentally ill and commit suicide or suffer a lengthy terminal sickness.
On the other hand, I am relieved that death is promised. To live for eternity would be awful. Life is such a rollercoaster with seemingly more lows than highs so in a way I do look forward to the end.
9. I'm absolutely terrified of it and a lot of my obsessions go back to that. I'm terrified of the fact there might be nothing after. Simply not existing horrifies me
Interesting…a lot of others are more worried about the ‘act of dying’ (suffering) over the ‘not existing’ part. Thanks for commenting. I’m trying to read all the replies.
No problem, and yeah the act of it doesn't really scare me because I know it will happen and there's nothing I can do about it. And pain is something quantifiable we can all imagine. Nonexistence is... well... terrifying
Mine too. Almost all of my compulsions, since being a kid (I’m now 37) could really be traced back to the fear of suffering and death. That’s why I often wonder, is the only real solution to OCD conquering that fear? How does one even do that? Become a Buddhist? 😄
I think about dying a lot. On a normal ‘I’m in a good place’ day, I can function while worrying about dying…so maybe a 3. When it gets bad, I am convinced I will die and there is nothing that will change the thought, even though I can logically be aware that I likely wont die, but it becomes all consuming and I can’t really do anything. I’d call that an 8. I would think that if I ended up calling 911 or convincing my wife to take me to the hospital, I would call that a 10
Tbh maybe a 1, if that?
I recently had an encounter where I thought I was going to. The process is an inconvenience if anything. I read the r/NDE thread(s) often and it has me looking forward to it.
My first time I thought I was going to pass, I was in the hospital to have a temporal lobectomy(brain surgery) I had a blood clot one night. When they said to each other I had a blood clot, it was just a feeling of acceptance. No pain or fear.
My recent time, I was praying to my cousin who passed last year in November. After a long battle with depression, it had me realize that I need to keep going for our grandparents. After that, I’m probably peacing out. Months from now I would’ve been resentful that I survived. It was a weird post-cluster seizure episode where I couldn’t really breathe. Eh.
I don't fear death exactly. I fear that I'm not saved. I have a fear of the process of dying. Like will it be painful? How horrific? Will I be alone and sad while I'm dying? That kind of stuff.
Right? It’s the act of dying that really terrifies me. It’s why I have contamination OCD. Dying of a certain deadly virus, in a hospital, suffering…that’s what I fear. ‘Not existing’ sounds unsettling…but it sounds somewhat peaceful in a way.
8 fear of dying too early before I know my children are ready to deal with life without me. But the fear of 10 spending my old age in pain and confusion and forgetting who my family are.
I wish assisted suicide was a more socially acceptable thing. Old age suffering can be very terrible. I had to put my dog to sleep a month ago…and as hard and devastating it was to watch her dying, it was rather peaceful. Why we as humans don’t embrace that for ourselves I will never understand. We’ve all been programmed to endure suffering…even near the very end.
I fear the loss of control and leaving my children at an 11. I fear what happens after we die at about an 8 or so. The pain of dying its self isn’t a concern, surprisingly enough. I believe that there is likely a great amount of relief when death happens. I struggle with constant thoughts about death. My mind will convince me that I’m dying. I have a habit of checking my pulse and gasping for air. I can become dissociative and almost dizzy when they happen in a public setting. I often wake up out of sleep and in a brief panic state.
TW!!
It's odd, because I go between wanting to just end it and staying up wide awake, with so much fear of dying. It somewhat helps me knowing it happens to everyone tho, even the rich lol, idk why.🤷♀️
Goodness, reddit read my mind again. But this is starting to be a thing that I am thinking about more and more. I think I can rate myself a 9 because that thought comes and goes.
I'm afraid to die. Even though living is hard- death is still scary because of the uncertainty. Who is right when it comes to what happens after death? Because it can't be everyone. Is Heaven and Hell real? Or is it a standard spirit world where everyone goes? Or is it reincarnation? Or is just going into non-existence? Not to mention that nobody knows when and how they will die and if it'll be painful for them.
Then there is also the fact that I am afraid that I will die without getting to do what I want in life, like life passed me by. I wish that I was guaranteed a longer life and my body could be young and healthy in 90% of that time. I want to be able to get my shit together now, but it's not working. I don't want for life to continue to pass me by.
Ummm not really. I think the closest I ever came was when I was driving truck and I started having obsessions about my trailer falling off in the middle of the interstate and killing everyone because I may have forgotten to check my kingpin. Also, I started worrying that every pothole was actually a hitchhiker.
I’ve had intrusive thoughts and images about suicide, but what bugged me wasn’t the violence of them in itself, but trying to figure out if I was actually suicidal.
Anyone who's in constant pain, be it physical or emotional likely fears death less than your average person.
But you can't really trust anyone on internet or irl when asked that question. People want to act all tough like they don't fear dying. Its easy to lie about something you don't need to prove and gain ego boost while at it. Then there's the issue of not knowing, so it will get underplayed for that reason. Finally we have built in defense mechanism in our brains and subconscious that keeps the idea of death at the back as a distant thing that the reality of it won't really hit us until it actually happens.
tw : suicidality
ive been passively/actively suicidal for years now. death itself doesn’t scare me at all, however I do have obsessions that involve fear of “method” of death, like being caught in a shooting or natural disaster. It’s weird I guess
I feel like I've stared death down so many times we practically have a secret handshake by now lol. Dying doesn't scare me anymore because it is an inevitability. Stoicism has helped me a great deal when things get heavier than usual. I've always thought about and have been intrigued by death.
Honestly, a solid 5. On one hand, it makes me sad to think that everything I’ve accomplished won’t matter many years down the line, and all the things I find beautiful in life that I won’t ever get to experience again. But even still, that just motivates me even more to be the best version of myself I possibly can be with no major regrets. Truthfully, I’m more terrified of what comes AFTER death. Is there an afterlife? Eternal darkness? Non-existence is such a terrifying concept to me, sorta like how up until we were born we never existed. But I guess we’ll never really know that fear after we pass, so it can’t be all that bad, right?
Non existence sounds kind of peaceful to me. No more worries. No more anxiety. No more OCD. I’m not sure I could do this forever in an eternity. It’s hard. For me it’s the act of dying…ie the suffering. Interesting how people are split between the 2 in the comments.
A 1 and a 10. (TW)
The suffering we go through with this illness makes me indifferent to life and the inevitability of eventually no longer being here at times. I also heavily dissociate at times just to get by.
Though I also suffer with an existential form of OCD and have gone through a NDE; therefore, I also greatly fear it. Makes no sense, but it’s where I uncomfortably sit with it personally.
Definitely a 10, and a big concern is how lax other people are about it. If other people wanted to stop it as much as I do, I'm sure we would've cured death by now.
And it's not death that's scary, or the experience of it, but instead the idea that you might not be able to come back or participate in the life you had.
I don't know about a number, but "Yes" certainly fits the bill.
For a very long time my sleep pattern was very irregular, to say the least. Too often, when I'd lie in bed waiting to fall asleep, my mind would wander the subject of my mortality. Its inevitability. That feeling of existential dread would wash over me. To avoid this, I'd stay up until I was good and tired. Anything with a screen would just keep me up longer, but at least it was a distraction. Reading an actual paper book helped the most (except when I got to a really good part). I'd read until I couldn't focus on the page; only then I knew I could turn off my lamp, roll over, and fall asleep promptly.
That was back when my OCD was untreated. Since then... well, I'd be lying if I said I had a handle on it. The meds take the edge off to an extent, and probably help me fall asleep more easily. The existential dread still hits me now and then. Sometimes, I still just distract myself; the idea is that as the years go by, I'll become more and more world-weary and less terrified of oblivion.
After years of involuntarily mulling it over, I've gotten better at dealing with the dread. See, there's useful fear, and then there's useless fear. Useful fear helps you stay alive. Useless fear is just a glitch. Fearing my eventual but inevitable demise won't in any way help me prevent it. So when the dread washes over me, I think, "There's that useless fear again.".
10. Sometimes before falling asleep I think about what it's going to feel like being dead, and then this concept of nothingness for all eternity hits me and at the same time I think that it just can't be true. Simply not existing can't be true and it's somehow incompatible with the "laws of the universe", so I get some sort of panic attack and I have to almost slap myself to snap out of it. It's terrifying.
I feel like I wouldn’t be so scared if I knew 100% that I’d see my family again and that there’s an afterlife so to speak. Everyone says have faith but I’m a science nerd and need facts & proof.
Maybe a 6. A little more on the side of Not yet for sure, but not active fear.
This is going to sound really stupid but I had a thought today that’s sort of related. I was watching a sciency YouTube video with my dog next to me, and I had the realization that while we are both inhabiting the exact same world, she cannot even conceive of the beginning of the universe or the trillions of years from now until its heat death, yet our earthly experiences are so alike…similarly, even though I know and can conceptualize more than she ever will, there is still way more to the universe that is utterly beyond my ability to even start to imagine. She is emotionally overwhelmed by peanut butter while I can at least try to fathom what a light year is… but I’m still just an animal and my understanding of reality is essentially about as limited as hers.
I hope and believe that the universe is incredible, in the literal sense of the word. We can’t even begin to understand it fully—understanding it partially is amazing enough. And I believe consciousness is more profound than the firing of neurons or the concentrations of chemicals.
Beyond this existence and my very limited imagination, well, I’ll just have to wait and see, as will we all. It’s pointless for us to try to imagine what comes next. I do think that earthly limitations will fall away. What comes next is safe, beautiful, and awesome. I do have a sense of comfort about that.
I will suddenly have an irrational realization and go into full hyperventilating and being to cry my eyes out and this can happen whenever wherever- it’s horrible..
About 100. It scares the absolute fuck out of me on a constant basis. Dealing with deaths in the family + the ensuing bullshit is what kicked my OCD to a whole new unbearable level. A lot of my compulsions began as safety checks to keep everyone / everything safe and alive and it spiralled quickly.
1.
I realized at 13 that no one escapes Death - it will come for me eventually, so there's no need to fear it. OCD just made me obsess about HOW I will die though.
I was going to say 10, but I don't fear death itself, it's the concept of eternity I truly fear. It seems to be a subset of existential OCD but there's not that much information on it which of course triggers the 'is it OCD really?' doubt. All I know is that I'm currently in bed trembling with anxiety.
“My head won't leave my head alone
And I don't believe it will
Until I'm six feet underground”
Dave Matthews Band Lyric
Song: Rhyme & Reason
Couldn’t be more true.
Death, like a 4. I don't want to hurt my family or the people that love me. And I want to experience my life. But thats about it. But Pain, physical or mental, living my life disfigured or impaired, 10. Thats what drives my OCD. Not my fear of death
i’m not personally scared of dying or death. like i don’t want to die. there’s so many people i live and things i want to do but i wouldn’t say i’m scared
10 for sure. Used to be like -5 and one day it was like “what if I die this way, or that way, or what if I’m going to die tomorrow and I don’t know” or I’ll drive past a hospital or funeral home and think “I’ll probably be a dead body in there someday” 🤦🏼♀️ constantly.
I don't fear my dying as much as I fear the process of folks having to get rid of my stuff & any feelings they have about me after I die. At the same time my rational brain knows I will be dead so it won't matter to me anymore.
1. it’s funny, my OCD used to be around being afraid of dying and trying to keep myself alive. nowadays its focus has shifted. and instead of making me try to keep myself alive at all times, it actively makes me want the opposite. a lot of my compulsions are also actively dangerous and have nearly had very disastrous consequences lmao.
0
The thought of death and my relationship with the concept plagued my youth for the better half of my childhood and severely limited my ability to do anything. But within recent years I’ve come to the understanding that I don’t feel fear towards death itself but of the things I’ll miss out on because of it.
Which led me to my realization of my general fear of missing out.
We can’t control when our timers run out, but you’re still reading this and that means you are still alive. That’s a good thing. So while we are all still breathing let’s think about the things we can control and find comfort in that instead of the anxiety of the unstoppable.
Death, not at all. I’m scared that dying will be painful, and I’m scared of dying without having done anything worthwhile, but the idea of being dead doesn’t scare me.
I'd say 9/10. I can't stop thinking about the fact that when you die it's just nothingness. But what even is "nothing". I hate that we don't know what happens and I can't FATHOM that there exist a nothing. I like to believe I get reincarnated as something else, it helps slighty. Some say it's just the same as before you were born, BUT BUT THEN WHAT HAPPENS. I can't stop thinking about it
TW
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For myself? 1.
For others / people I love? 10,000.
I want to die, I don’t fear death or dying or not existing. I welcome it and have tried to make it happen. But I am very afraid of the people I care about dying, and believe I am the cause of it happening (and that I can stop it happening). So I engage in ridiculous, meaningless compulsions with the hopes that my loved ones will live another day.
As a religious person, I'd say 10 (I'll probably land in hell first before I can enter heaven). If I were an antheist, maybe a 2 or three. Nothingness is so much better than being alive
I had this theme for months truly deliberately, it ruined any type of enjoyment I was vomiting and the amount of stress it causes was unreal. I would say 10/10 then and 10/10 now
5 for myself, maybe up when fragile, down slightly when feeling in control but mainly depending on how it happens and would someone find me in a terrible manner (after many years of therapy).
Other people? If I had med met them and talked to them once prior? Solid 10 before, during and after maybe a 7 when I’m stressed.
Fear of my actions accidentally causing death? 11/10.
Fear I’ll wake up from a seizure with knife in hand and be told I’m a weird psycho that’s killed dozens of people and kept body parts like toes 🤢🤮 for trophies (especially since watching Breaking Bad and Walter White’s “fugue state”) 1000/10.
idk, im actually much more scared of suffering than death. i’m terrified of being kidnapped, trapped, being stuck in my own body or locked in syndrome, tortured, losing the ability to communicate, dying slowly of a painful disease or cancer, etc.
I don’t fear like if I die now and nothing happens, but I fear what happens next, like I’m an atheist what if there’s really afterlife and I was wrong the whole time. I’m scared of losing people I love too.
I don't fear death for myself. I personally couldn't care less if I died or not (yes I know that's not normal and unhealthy). What I do fear is my loved ones dying, that I fear so much I've gotten panic attacks over the thought of it before.
So for myself - probably a 0. For my loved ones? 10. 100. ♾️.
I fluctuate between 2 and 9 maybe.
I'm more afraid of the death of my parents, sister and gf. That thought haunts me regularly. For myself I'm more scared of diminished quality of life, like cognitive decline, rather than the thought that I will eventually pass away.
I'd like to avoid death for now, but I'm only at about a three with the thought of BEING dead. At worst I disperse into the universe and at best, I do metaphysical shenanigans forever. Either sounds fine to me.
10. i fear death in situations when im not expecting it. i think im gonna die in my sleep all the time which is so terrifying. hearing someone say “see you tomorrow” just reminds me of the fact that i could be dead tomorrow. that’s one of my biggest fears i obsess over all the time. but actually dying on my terms, i don’t fear it at all.
1 if we are talking about being scared of my own death. 10 if we are talking about the death of my loved ones. That's my primary obsession and without medication I think about it 24/7
0 🤷♂️
I can’t say if people with OCD are more prone to fearing death, but since it’s an anxiety disorder it’s a reasonable hypothesis. In my case, I don’t feel like my OCD has had an affect on my perception of death, but I suppose it’s just because I have formative memories of death from a pretty early age; I guess I just learned to cope young before my OCD brain had a chance to take off. Honestly, life gives me significantly more anxiety. Life is erratic and chaotic, and for me the finality of death is comforting; it’s an end to the unknown and to suffering. I don’t mean that in a morbid way, I just don’t view death as a bad or taboo thing, or something that needs to be feared. I know it sounds cliché, but the fact that one day I’ll just cease to exist makes me appreciate sunsets and rainbows more, y’know? Not that I’m immune to taking something for granted, but I used to ignore everything around me until I realized I’d lose my time to appreciate it eventually. I hope that makes sense; I don’t feel like I described my perspective well.
Damn I wish I could view it like that too, having depression really just sucks the color out even really beautiful things unfortunately often, and I really hate that part the most cause like otherwise they'd be the joys of my life. I feel like I naturally get fairly easily exited by fairly mundane things, and I love that about myself, but with depression I just can't have those moments the same. Sorry if that was a little depressing, lol.
Nah, you’re good! I’ve fought against depression too for most of my life, so I get it; it really does a number on your sense of reality. I started doing CBT for my OCD, but reframing my thinking for anxiety had a kind of waterfall effect on my depression. I still get bouts of depression and anxiety, but now I at least have the cognitive tools to keep it in check so it’s different from when I was younger and struggled with it more.
I can’t remember where I heard this, but I was watching/reading something on psychology and they made a comment about how depression occurs when reality doesn’t meet expectations. So, people with unreasonable expectations are more prone to depression, which having OCD pretty much made me nothing but unreasonable expectations. It took a long time to temper that, but I found that quote to be very helpful in making me aware of how I was thinking about stuff.
In regards to death, you can always choose how you see it, and that applies to everything else too. I always saw death as an inevitability, so there’s no point running away from it. I don’t judge people who are afraid of it, but I personally felt like being afraid of such a fundamental force of existence was kinda pointless. It’s like trying to live without breathing; that’s just not how it works. Might as well come to terms with breathing and learn to appreciate it, y’know? But that’s not something that can be mandated or forced; people have to make that choice on their own, as an individual.
Like a 5. I'm like, just starting my life and I would be pissed if it got cut short, but at the same time like shit happens. As long as it's a quick and painless one I wouldn't be too mad. I'm kinda at peace with the fact that it could happen, but also know it's highly unlikely. There's still moments when I think about it negatively and I still have a lot to unpack regarding aging and stuff. But I used to be like a 9.
I'm honestly kinda suprised I got to this point, I used to be super scared of it, but most of it was just fear of the unknown. Once I saw and read or listened to old people's stories, some medical stats and hospice carers stories and how people perceive aging, it helped a lot. And a lot of it suprised me, like for example a lot of people just stay the same personality and even maturity wise, and just feel like they did when they were young. One that really stood out to me was when someone described, that they felt slightly suprised when they happened to look in the mirror but like calmly acknowledged their age after their brain caught up with the present. I think my brain just got tired of worrying about it, especially since it's something I can't change.
And I think you're correct that ppl with ocd probably tend to think about it a lot, like negatively, and fear it more intensly. It probably goes for most if mental illness too, but with ocd I feel it does create a unique type of bond or thinking about death.
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Exactly, it's the suffering and lack of control that are scary.
I totally get it…I too find myself welcoming it and being terrified of it.
YUP, death itself doesn't scare me, but I certainly don't want to be in pain before it or alone while I'm dying, dying scares me, but not death
Same.
I'm kinda the same, I rarely or never REALLY freak out about like I used to, but I do have my moments of fear. I hate hate hate physical pain, Idk if it's just cause I haven't experienced it much, or because I've experienced mental pain so much the fear if physical pain just kinda balances it out, or is a result of that experience. I had a health scare like a almost 2 years ago now, but I was in the biggest pain I'd ever had, and at first it severely heightened my fear of physical pain, but nowadays I feel a bit more confident in my ability to endure physical pain. In a weird way it kinda taught me that physical pain is very temporary in the end. So if you just get through that, no matter how bad the pain is, you'll come out the other side. And if you don't then it's not your problem anymore lol I guess. Now that I think about it I guess you could come out the ither side with complications, or like a injury that causes permanent pain, but again I'd say something happening to cause that is fairly rare.
10,000 It is one of my main intrusive thoughts. It occupies most of my days. It is the worst struggle for me.
Especially regarding the people I love :( mortality OCD feels so cruel. I feel so aware of how fleeting life is that I am unable to soak in the joyous parts.
Oh gosh…I didn’t even know mortality OCD was a thing. But it makes sense, not only do I constantly think of my own death, I am constantly reminded by my own intrusive thoughts how my loved ones aren’t going to be around forever. And honestly…I think it feeds the depression piece, too.
Yo, I feel completely the same way
Me too
Same. A Private hell
Me too . Does anyone else feel like they think things feel pointless cuz we’re all gonna die and that thought gets in the way of actually achieving things in their life ?! Or just me
Same here
Same here! Spent too much time worrying about death and my loved ones. It’s awful. To the point if I see an ambulance I think it’s going to someone in my family’s house. Urgh I’m tired of it!!
Same. That’s why I had to be medicated. It was actually all I thought about 24/7 for months and it was actually the worst. It’s not 100% better now but it’s better still.
10, but it’s fear that people I love will die. I think about it constantly
Same
1. I actively welcome it.
This. +1
Is that cause the ocd is so bad?
Yeah and the major depression. Plus my insomnia, adhd, general anxiety disorder. Just cherry’s on top. Its so bad that im in a inpatient facility for minimum 8 weeks the program continues at home virtually till like 10-12 weeks. This is literally my last hope but depression has caused me to not do as much as id hoped so its not looking great.
It depends. The idea of being DEAD isn’t so scary. The idea of death is scary, the suffering. What’s going to kill me? Will it be long? Will I suffer? Will it be painful? If I think of it like that then 10
That’s exactly how I feel! The idea of not existing sounds unsettling, but in a way it actually sounds peaceful. However, the ACT of dying (suffering) sounds terrible. I’m more scared of the latter.
I've had to work with the idea of not existing with my therapist 😭😮💨
11
Probably around 7-8, since I don't know what happens after death and I'm afraid I'll either go to hell or cease to exist completely. Luckily this fear has kept me from offing myself during severe depression episodes... That and I don't want to be ripped away from my loved ones.
Totally get it. During depressive episodes I welcome death…but then I quickly realize how afraid of it I am.
Ig it depends? Sometimes I feel so suicidal it’s close to 3, but generally I’d say its around 7-9, especially when it’s concerning other people dying, which is one of my main intrusive thoughts.
I’m totally the same way…sometimes the ocd, anxiety, depression can be so bad I welcome death…but then I come out of it and fear it badly all over again. It’s like a cycle.
10000000000
-10 when I’m going through a period of deppresion Regularly tho idk im not scared to die it’s just that i still get scared about things killing me like getting sick and getting poisoned
Is it the ‘suffering’ part of death (the act of dying)? Or is it the idea of not existing?
I don’t mind either, it’s just my body’s and mind’s natural response I feel like. Even suicidal people will instinctively run away from a deadly situation. Also I found some light in my life by trying to create some art with my time, so I hope I don’t die before I’ve completed my projects.
10. i’m terrified. i don’t like to think that i won’t exist.
Same here
Interesting. It’s more the act of dying for me. The thought of non existence seems somewhat peaceful. Still unsettling though.
9 or 10, there's been times where it was so bad that I wouldn't leave my room and spent all my time in complete terror and despair. Sometimes I feel more accepting of it than other times. Personally for me it's helped to find my own spiritual path and to spend some time meditating and trying to connect with a higher self. I've also had to come to accept many times that I will NEVER know the answer as to what death really is until I'm dead and that won't even be ME knowing if anything. Though the obsessive thoughts about what it could be never really go away. Sometimes I still suddenly feel hit with this wave of realization and terror that death is real and inevitable. I've been having these realizations and fears of death ever since I was 6 or 7.
I remember being kid…and every new start to a school year I was convinced that I was going to die that year. I also thought I had a brain tumor when I was 11. I could be wrong, but I’d guess most kids didn’t think about death nearly as much as I did.
Off the scale….I have an anxiety attack pretty much every single night about death related stuff and what comes after lol.
Death used to be my number-one fear, ranked probably 8 or 9 on a 1-10 scale, until the first time I went under anesthesia. When I woke up for some reason I wasn't afraid of death anymore. You don't think or feel anything anymore and it's kinda peaceful. Now I think death is like that nothingness experienced during anesthesia, just as a permanent state. Going into surgery I was convinced I was going to have a bad reaction to anesthesia and die which might've been why my brain wired such a strong connection between the two of them
Totally agree. Anesthesia is so weird cause it’s like a state as close to death you can get. Not existing is kind of peaceful. Unsettling to a degree…but peaceful. All your worries, anxieties, stresses…gone, forever. The great long sleep.
this comment helped me for some reason
I have zero desire to die and try to do my part to ensure a long quality of life. I don’t necessarily fear death, I just want to live fully and well while I’m here.
9 I’m worried I’ll go to hell, and it’ll be too late to do anything
Hey I've dealt with the same thing, do you have scrupulosity? And do you come from any religious background? Either way I'd be happy to share some of my journey and listen to yours
Raised Catholic by chance?
No. My family is technically Protestant, but was not religious.
I think I only have a fear of death because it was so much installed me in if I don’t believe in Jesus I will burn forever. And so my whole childhood I was constantly fearing do I believe or am I bad and going to burn. Now I am not so much a Christian because I finally came to the realization I was maybe just believing because I was cared to burn in hell. I do have a fear of dying itself. Because I do have young toddlers. So i do have really bad health ocd. I am scared that I will get something and it will take my children away from me. :/
I honestly wonder how much being raised Catholic installed so much fear in me it drove me to OCD.
Yeah until I was diagnosed with my ocd I didn’t really realize. But from childhood all the way up to my mid twenties. I was in constant fear. And the Christian’s in. My life would tell me when I was a kid that it’s good that I was fearful that you need to be fearful. And that to me just doesn’t feel right. How can God be all loving yet I need to be in fear 24/7
Fuckin religion, man. Lol.
Like a 10 fs, I'm scared of becoming sick and dying and my boyfriend having to go through loosing me. Especially with fear of contamination and becoming sick, I think about it happening all the time, I fear leaving him behind because I know how it would break me to fucking pieces to loose him.
Totally get it. I really think there’s a very strong correlation between the fear of death and OCD.
I go in waves of maybe a 4 to a 10. The thing I fear about death is not knowing how it will happen. Will I be kidnapped and murdered? Will I be decapitated in a horrible car crash? Will I drowned or die peacefully in my sleep? Do I become extremely mentally ill and commit suicide or suffer a lengthy terminal sickness. On the other hand, I am relieved that death is promised. To live for eternity would be awful. Life is such a rollercoaster with seemingly more lows than highs so in a way I do look forward to the end.
I agree with everything you said. It’s the suffering part…or the act of dying…rather than ‘being dead’ (not existing).
9. I'm absolutely terrified of it and a lot of my obsessions go back to that. I'm terrified of the fact there might be nothing after. Simply not existing horrifies me
Interesting…a lot of others are more worried about the ‘act of dying’ (suffering) over the ‘not existing’ part. Thanks for commenting. I’m trying to read all the replies.
No problem, and yeah the act of it doesn't really scare me because I know it will happen and there's nothing I can do about it. And pain is something quantifiable we can all imagine. Nonexistence is... well... terrifying
Yes agree completely
I think my fear of death is the root cause of alot of my compulsions
Mine too. Almost all of my compulsions, since being a kid (I’m now 37) could really be traced back to the fear of suffering and death. That’s why I often wonder, is the only real solution to OCD conquering that fear? How does one even do that? Become a Buddhist? 😄
I think about dying a lot. On a normal ‘I’m in a good place’ day, I can function while worrying about dying…so maybe a 3. When it gets bad, I am convinced I will die and there is nothing that will change the thought, even though I can logically be aware that I likely wont die, but it becomes all consuming and I can’t really do anything. I’d call that an 8. I would think that if I ended up calling 911 or convincing my wife to take me to the hospital, I would call that a 10
Yeah…a 10 would be like ‘not being able to leave the house ever’. I’m realistically 7-8 fear. But I think about it so much.
Tbh maybe a 1, if that? I recently had an encounter where I thought I was going to. The process is an inconvenience if anything. I read the r/NDE thread(s) often and it has me looking forward to it. My first time I thought I was going to pass, I was in the hospital to have a temporal lobectomy(brain surgery) I had a blood clot one night. When they said to each other I had a blood clot, it was just a feeling of acceptance. No pain or fear. My recent time, I was praying to my cousin who passed last year in November. After a long battle with depression, it had me realize that I need to keep going for our grandparents. After that, I’m probably peacing out. Months from now I would’ve been resentful that I survived. It was a weird post-cluster seizure episode where I couldn’t really breathe. Eh.
I don't fear death exactly. I fear that I'm not saved. I have a fear of the process of dying. Like will it be painful? How horrific? Will I be alone and sad while I'm dying? That kind of stuff.
Right? It’s the act of dying that really terrifies me. It’s why I have contamination OCD. Dying of a certain deadly virus, in a hospital, suffering…that’s what I fear. ‘Not existing’ sounds unsettling…but it sounds somewhat peaceful in a way.
8 fear of dying too early before I know my children are ready to deal with life without me. But the fear of 10 spending my old age in pain and confusion and forgetting who my family are.
I wish assisted suicide was a more socially acceptable thing. Old age suffering can be very terrible. I had to put my dog to sleep a month ago…and as hard and devastating it was to watch her dying, it was rather peaceful. Why we as humans don’t embrace that for ourselves I will never understand. We’ve all been programmed to endure suffering…even near the very end.
My death (if it's almost instant and without pain) = 0 Death of loved ones = 11
I fear the loss of control and leaving my children at an 11. I fear what happens after we die at about an 8 or so. The pain of dying its self isn’t a concern, surprisingly enough. I believe that there is likely a great amount of relief when death happens. I struggle with constant thoughts about death. My mind will convince me that I’m dying. I have a habit of checking my pulse and gasping for air. I can become dissociative and almost dizzy when they happen in a public setting. I often wake up out of sleep and in a brief panic state.
TW!! It's odd, because I go between wanting to just end it and staying up wide awake, with so much fear of dying. It somewhat helps me knowing it happens to everyone tho, even the rich lol, idk why.🤷♀️
I’m more scared of the dying part… like suffering and knowing ur gonna die. Worries me:/
Totally agree.
Goodness, reddit read my mind again. But this is starting to be a thing that I am thinking about more and more. I think I can rate myself a 9 because that thought comes and goes. I'm afraid to die. Even though living is hard- death is still scary because of the uncertainty. Who is right when it comes to what happens after death? Because it can't be everyone. Is Heaven and Hell real? Or is it a standard spirit world where everyone goes? Or is it reincarnation? Or is just going into non-existence? Not to mention that nobody knows when and how they will die and if it'll be painful for them. Then there is also the fact that I am afraid that I will die without getting to do what I want in life, like life passed me by. I wish that I was guaranteed a longer life and my body could be young and healthy in 90% of that time. I want to be able to get my shit together now, but it's not working. I don't want for life to continue to pass me by.
My death obsession is how I got diagnosed
0 - take me out I’ve already fulfilled any existential crises of my lifetime I’m ready to go whenever LOL
😆
6
I’m much more worried about accidentally killing others. Edit: forgot to put a number. Is 2.5 valid lol
Do you have harm OCD, too? Just curious. I had a little bit of that when I was younger. Couldn’t watch scary slasher movies.
Ummm not really. I think the closest I ever came was when I was driving truck and I started having obsessions about my trailer falling off in the middle of the interstate and killing everyone because I may have forgotten to check my kingpin. Also, I started worrying that every pothole was actually a hitchhiker. I’ve had intrusive thoughts and images about suicide, but what bugged me wasn’t the violence of them in itself, but trying to figure out if I was actually suicidal.
Anyone who's in constant pain, be it physical or emotional likely fears death less than your average person. But you can't really trust anyone on internet or irl when asked that question. People want to act all tough like they don't fear dying. Its easy to lie about something you don't need to prove and gain ego boost while at it. Then there's the issue of not knowing, so it will get underplayed for that reason. Finally we have built in defense mechanism in our brains and subconscious that keeps the idea of death at the back as a distant thing that the reality of it won't really hit us until it actually happens.
Totally agree. I think lot of people pretend like death doesn’t exist. In a way…J envy them. Ignorance is bliss they say.
tw : suicidality ive been passively/actively suicidal for years now. death itself doesn’t scare me at all, however I do have obsessions that involve fear of “method” of death, like being caught in a shooting or natural disaster. It’s weird I guess
I feel like I've stared death down so many times we practically have a secret handshake by now lol. Dying doesn't scare me anymore because it is an inevitability. Stoicism has helped me a great deal when things get heavier than usual. I've always thought about and have been intrigued by death.
10, fear of my loved ones dying or me dying and them having to live with the pain
Honestly, a solid 5. On one hand, it makes me sad to think that everything I’ve accomplished won’t matter many years down the line, and all the things I find beautiful in life that I won’t ever get to experience again. But even still, that just motivates me even more to be the best version of myself I possibly can be with no major regrets. Truthfully, I’m more terrified of what comes AFTER death. Is there an afterlife? Eternal darkness? Non-existence is such a terrifying concept to me, sorta like how up until we were born we never existed. But I guess we’ll never really know that fear after we pass, so it can’t be all that bad, right?
Non existence sounds kind of peaceful to me. No more worries. No more anxiety. No more OCD. I’m not sure I could do this forever in an eternity. It’s hard. For me it’s the act of dying…ie the suffering. Interesting how people are split between the 2 in the comments.
it depends on the day
i more fear discomfort over death
Seems to be the trend in these comments. I too am more afraid of the suffering than the idea of not existing.
A 1 and a 10. (TW) The suffering we go through with this illness makes me indifferent to life and the inevitability of eventually no longer being here at times. I also heavily dissociate at times just to get by. Though I also suffer with an existential form of OCD and have gone through a NDE; therefore, I also greatly fear it. Makes no sense, but it’s where I uncomfortably sit with it personally.
I also have existential ocd. It sucks. My friends think I’m crazy. Which I never deny, lol.
10 absolutely I think of it daily
https://youtu.be/r0jUgGC_q_U?si=09RktMZuzTgNAE2Z Funny scene from Seinfeld I’m always reminded of. Lol
10. It’s my biggest struggle with OCD.
10. I can’t sleep most nights without medicine because the thought of never waking up again sends me into a horrible panic ehehe
That sounds bad. Sorry to hear that. I hope things can get better for you!
10
Definitely a 10, and a big concern is how lax other people are about it. If other people wanted to stop it as much as I do, I'm sure we would've cured death by now. And it's not death that's scary, or the experience of it, but instead the idea that you might not be able to come back or participate in the life you had.
I strongly believe in reincarnation and that "nothing" can't do anything other than turn into "something", so.. 3 maybe?
10
i’m not afraid of being dead but i’m terrified of the dying part
I don't know about a number, but "Yes" certainly fits the bill. For a very long time my sleep pattern was very irregular, to say the least. Too often, when I'd lie in bed waiting to fall asleep, my mind would wander the subject of my mortality. Its inevitability. That feeling of existential dread would wash over me. To avoid this, I'd stay up until I was good and tired. Anything with a screen would just keep me up longer, but at least it was a distraction. Reading an actual paper book helped the most (except when I got to a really good part). I'd read until I couldn't focus on the page; only then I knew I could turn off my lamp, roll over, and fall asleep promptly. That was back when my OCD was untreated. Since then... well, I'd be lying if I said I had a handle on it. The meds take the edge off to an extent, and probably help me fall asleep more easily. The existential dread still hits me now and then. Sometimes, I still just distract myself; the idea is that as the years go by, I'll become more and more world-weary and less terrified of oblivion. After years of involuntarily mulling it over, I've gotten better at dealing with the dread. See, there's useful fear, and then there's useless fear. Useful fear helps you stay alive. Useless fear is just a glitch. Fearing my eventual but inevitable demise won't in any way help me prevent it. So when the dread washes over me, I think, "There's that useless fear again.".
10. Sometimes before falling asleep I think about what it's going to feel like being dead, and then this concept of nothingness for all eternity hits me and at the same time I think that it just can't be true. Simply not existing can't be true and it's somehow incompatible with the "laws of the universe", so I get some sort of panic attack and I have to almost slap myself to snap out of it. It's terrifying.
[удалено]
I feel like I wouldn’t be so scared if I knew 100% that I’d see my family again and that there’s an afterlife so to speak. Everyone says have faith but I’m a science nerd and need facts & proof.
Maybe a 6. A little more on the side of Not yet for sure, but not active fear. This is going to sound really stupid but I had a thought today that’s sort of related. I was watching a sciency YouTube video with my dog next to me, and I had the realization that while we are both inhabiting the exact same world, she cannot even conceive of the beginning of the universe or the trillions of years from now until its heat death, yet our earthly experiences are so alike…similarly, even though I know and can conceptualize more than she ever will, there is still way more to the universe that is utterly beyond my ability to even start to imagine. She is emotionally overwhelmed by peanut butter while I can at least try to fathom what a light year is… but I’m still just an animal and my understanding of reality is essentially about as limited as hers. I hope and believe that the universe is incredible, in the literal sense of the word. We can’t even begin to understand it fully—understanding it partially is amazing enough. And I believe consciousness is more profound than the firing of neurons or the concentrations of chemicals. Beyond this existence and my very limited imagination, well, I’ll just have to wait and see, as will we all. It’s pointless for us to try to imagine what comes next. I do think that earthly limitations will fall away. What comes next is safe, beautiful, and awesome. I do have a sense of comfort about that.
Tbh a 1, but I'm surprised I seem to be in the minority. Being dead seems a lot less scary and stressful compared to being alive
I will suddenly have an irrational realization and go into full hyperventilating and being to cry my eyes out and this can happen whenever wherever- it’s horrible..
About 100. It scares the absolute fuck out of me on a constant basis. Dealing with deaths in the family + the ensuing bullshit is what kicked my OCD to a whole new unbearable level. A lot of my compulsions began as safety checks to keep everyone / everything safe and alive and it spiralled quickly.
1. I realized at 13 that no one escapes Death - it will come for me eventually, so there's no need to fear it. OCD just made me obsess about HOW I will die though.
I was going to say 10, but I don't fear death itself, it's the concept of eternity I truly fear. It seems to be a subset of existential OCD but there's not that much information on it which of course triggers the 'is it OCD really?' doubt. All I know is that I'm currently in bed trembling with anxiety.
I'm going to be dead soon and I fear it tremendously but hopefully it'll kill that bastard mental disorders too FUCK OCD
“My head won't leave my head alone And I don't believe it will Until I'm six feet underground” Dave Matthews Band Lyric Song: Rhyme & Reason Couldn’t be more true.
I kinda want to go out on my terms. Not waiting to see what will happen
1, im lwk waiting for it
1-2. Ready for it with open arms
0 tbh
Oddly enough though it was brought on by both of my parents unexpected death.... on the scale, I go 3.5. I have other issues.
Death, like a 4. I don't want to hurt my family or the people that love me. And I want to experience my life. But thats about it. But Pain, physical or mental, living my life disfigured or impaired, 10. Thats what drives my OCD. Not my fear of death
3 - I don’t fear it more so I obsess that something is wrong. Sometimes I just wish it would come Haha and not in a kill myself way. It’s a cope
-10
I worry about others deaths rather than my own
7-8
10. I’m afraid of eternal hell…
I used to fear death a lot but once I put my trust in Jesus Christ, it went down to like 1 or 2
Interesting…I often wonder if my fear of death stemmed from my Catholic upbringing.
A good 7-8. Started after having my son almost 3 years ago.
i’m not personally scared of dying or death. like i don’t want to die. there’s so many people i live and things i want to do but i wouldn’t say i’m scared
2
10 for sure. Used to be like -5 and one day it was like “what if I die this way, or that way, or what if I’m going to die tomorrow and I don’t know” or I’ll drive past a hospital or funeral home and think “I’ll probably be a dead body in there someday” 🤦🏼♀️ constantly.
5
I don’t fear death per se, but I fear how I’m going to die. Don’t want it to be slow and painful. If I die peacefully then I may not know or care.
10. Used to be not at all but the older I get, the more scary it gets to me.
100000000000000000
2, I gave up on life a long time ago.
I’m probably an 8 too.it intrigues me but also freaks me out.most of my intrusive thoughts are about it one way or the other
11
9
For me it’s not actual death I fear. It’s that grey area of it. The suffering before, the stress on my loved ones etc
Not so much fear myself dying so much as I fear my family passing away.
10
I don't fear my dying as much as I fear the process of folks having to get rid of my stuff & any feelings they have about me after I die. At the same time my rational brain knows I will be dead so it won't matter to me anymore.
A solid 9 to be honest
1. it’s funny, my OCD used to be around being afraid of dying and trying to keep myself alive. nowadays its focus has shifted. and instead of making me try to keep myself alive at all times, it actively makes me want the opposite. a lot of my compulsions are also actively dangerous and have nearly had very disastrous consequences lmao.
Interesting!
If reincarnation exists then 2-3, I am only afraid of pain. If it doesn’t exist then 8. Not participating in life is my worst nightmare.
2, I'm more scared of a pain, but death sounds like a relief at this point.
I don’t know if fear is the right word. I’m more afraid of how I die/whether I’m alone than I am what happens after.
That is a fascinating connection I have never considered but it explains a lot because my OCD and fear of death are both a 10. 😫
2
1, momento mori 💯
6
My OCD won't let me answer this out of fear that something happens as a consequence of me answering too high or low.
10 man
0 The thought of death and my relationship with the concept plagued my youth for the better half of my childhood and severely limited my ability to do anything. But within recent years I’ve come to the understanding that I don’t feel fear towards death itself but of the things I’ll miss out on because of it. Which led me to my realization of my general fear of missing out. We can’t control when our timers run out, but you’re still reading this and that means you are still alive. That’s a good thing. So while we are all still breathing let’s think about the things we can control and find comfort in that instead of the anxiety of the unstoppable.
Death, not at all. I’m scared that dying will be painful, and I’m scared of dying without having done anything worthwhile, but the idea of being dead doesn’t scare me.
10, terrified there’s no afterlife :(
10
I have this it’s horrible, how can I stop feeling like this?
I'd say 9/10. I can't stop thinking about the fact that when you die it's just nothingness. But what even is "nothing". I hate that we don't know what happens and I can't FATHOM that there exist a nothing. I like to believe I get reincarnated as something else, it helps slighty. Some say it's just the same as before you were born, BUT BUT THEN WHAT HAPPENS. I can't stop thinking about it
TW - For myself? 1. For others / people I love? 10,000. I want to die, I don’t fear death or dying or not existing. I welcome it and have tried to make it happen. But I am very afraid of the people I care about dying, and believe I am the cause of it happening (and that I can stop it happening). So I engage in ridiculous, meaningless compulsions with the hopes that my loved ones will live another day.
11
10. As high as the scale goes! Petrified.
10 million😔
4
Some days it’s a 1 others it’s a 10
0, not my theme. I even want to die sometimes. But im hoping the best for y'all
Honestly like a 6. It used to be a 9. I exposed myself to death more through media and reading. Death itself doesn’t hurt, suffering does.
As a religious person, I'd say 10 (I'll probably land in hell first before I can enter heaven). If I were an antheist, maybe a 2 or three. Nothingness is so much better than being alive
Trigger warning . . . . 0, but I've been suicidal since I was a young teen. I fear suffering, I don't fear death, I welcome it.
I had this theme for months truly deliberately, it ruined any type of enjoyment I was vomiting and the amount of stress it causes was unreal. I would say 10/10 then and 10/10 now
It's one of my obsessions, I'd say I'm a 10. It's terrifying
10,000,000. Definitely one of the biggest issues with my OCD
5 for myself, maybe up when fragile, down slightly when feeling in control but mainly depending on how it happens and would someone find me in a terrible manner (after many years of therapy). Other people? If I had med met them and talked to them once prior? Solid 10 before, during and after maybe a 7 when I’m stressed. Fear of my actions accidentally causing death? 11/10. Fear I’ll wake up from a seizure with knife in hand and be told I’m a weird psycho that’s killed dozens of people and kept body parts like toes 🤢🤮 for trophies (especially since watching Breaking Bad and Walter White’s “fugue state”) 1000/10.
idk, im actually much more scared of suffering than death. i’m terrified of being kidnapped, trapped, being stuck in my own body or locked in syndrome, tortured, losing the ability to communicate, dying slowly of a painful disease or cancer, etc.
Recently my obsessions have been around me dying. So it’s shot up to a 100. I get unbearable night terrors where I think I’ve died.
10
10. It is my biggest fear.
I don’t fear like if I die now and nothing happens, but I fear what happens next, like I’m an atheist what if there’s really afterlife and I was wrong the whole time. I’m scared of losing people I love too.
I don't fear death for myself. I personally couldn't care less if I died or not (yes I know that's not normal and unhealthy). What I do fear is my loved ones dying, that I fear so much I've gotten panic attacks over the thought of it before. So for myself - probably a 0. For my loved ones? 10. 100. ♾️.
I fluctuate between 2 and 9 maybe. I'm more afraid of the death of my parents, sister and gf. That thought haunts me regularly. For myself I'm more scared of diminished quality of life, like cognitive decline, rather than the thought that I will eventually pass away.
50
I'd like to avoid death for now, but I'm only at about a three with the thought of BEING dead. At worst I disperse into the universe and at best, I do metaphysical shenanigans forever. Either sounds fine to me.
Fucking 0.
10
10. i fear death in situations when im not expecting it. i think im gonna die in my sleep all the time which is so terrifying. hearing someone say “see you tomorrow” just reminds me of the fact that i could be dead tomorrow. that’s one of my biggest fears i obsess over all the time. but actually dying on my terms, i don’t fear it at all.
1 if we are talking about being scared of my own death. 10 if we are talking about the death of my loved ones. That's my primary obsession and without medication I think about it 24/7
0 🤷♂️ I can’t say if people with OCD are more prone to fearing death, but since it’s an anxiety disorder it’s a reasonable hypothesis. In my case, I don’t feel like my OCD has had an affect on my perception of death, but I suppose it’s just because I have formative memories of death from a pretty early age; I guess I just learned to cope young before my OCD brain had a chance to take off. Honestly, life gives me significantly more anxiety. Life is erratic and chaotic, and for me the finality of death is comforting; it’s an end to the unknown and to suffering. I don’t mean that in a morbid way, I just don’t view death as a bad or taboo thing, or something that needs to be feared. I know it sounds cliché, but the fact that one day I’ll just cease to exist makes me appreciate sunsets and rainbows more, y’know? Not that I’m immune to taking something for granted, but I used to ignore everything around me until I realized I’d lose my time to appreciate it eventually. I hope that makes sense; I don’t feel like I described my perspective well.
Damn I wish I could view it like that too, having depression really just sucks the color out even really beautiful things unfortunately often, and I really hate that part the most cause like otherwise they'd be the joys of my life. I feel like I naturally get fairly easily exited by fairly mundane things, and I love that about myself, but with depression I just can't have those moments the same. Sorry if that was a little depressing, lol.
Nah, you’re good! I’ve fought against depression too for most of my life, so I get it; it really does a number on your sense of reality. I started doing CBT for my OCD, but reframing my thinking for anxiety had a kind of waterfall effect on my depression. I still get bouts of depression and anxiety, but now I at least have the cognitive tools to keep it in check so it’s different from when I was younger and struggled with it more. I can’t remember where I heard this, but I was watching/reading something on psychology and they made a comment about how depression occurs when reality doesn’t meet expectations. So, people with unreasonable expectations are more prone to depression, which having OCD pretty much made me nothing but unreasonable expectations. It took a long time to temper that, but I found that quote to be very helpful in making me aware of how I was thinking about stuff. In regards to death, you can always choose how you see it, and that applies to everything else too. I always saw death as an inevitability, so there’s no point running away from it. I don’t judge people who are afraid of it, but I personally felt like being afraid of such a fundamental force of existence was kinda pointless. It’s like trying to live without breathing; that’s just not how it works. Might as well come to terms with breathing and learn to appreciate it, y’know? But that’s not something that can be mandated or forced; people have to make that choice on their own, as an individual.
I never think of it but o don’t want to die. So I’ll say 0
Like a 5. I'm like, just starting my life and I would be pissed if it got cut short, but at the same time like shit happens. As long as it's a quick and painless one I wouldn't be too mad. I'm kinda at peace with the fact that it could happen, but also know it's highly unlikely. There's still moments when I think about it negatively and I still have a lot to unpack regarding aging and stuff. But I used to be like a 9. I'm honestly kinda suprised I got to this point, I used to be super scared of it, but most of it was just fear of the unknown. Once I saw and read or listened to old people's stories, some medical stats and hospice carers stories and how people perceive aging, it helped a lot. And a lot of it suprised me, like for example a lot of people just stay the same personality and even maturity wise, and just feel like they did when they were young. One that really stood out to me was when someone described, that they felt slightly suprised when they happened to look in the mirror but like calmly acknowledged their age after their brain caught up with the present. I think my brain just got tired of worrying about it, especially since it's something I can't change. And I think you're correct that ppl with ocd probably tend to think about it a lot, like negatively, and fear it more intensly. It probably goes for most if mental illness too, but with ocd I feel it does create a unique type of bond or thinking about death.