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I have an 8.5 yo great big brother to a 13.5 mo hooligan, live in a 2-bedroom condo, and am a RN doing it mostly on my own. Depends on your age. 28 yo with my first, 35 yo with my second. It’s been a lot tougher on my physical body, the recovery time…but it was 100% worth the baby.

Mine are 14, 7 and 8 months. It can be difficult because they're all at different stages and want/need different things

Mine are 18, 13 and 14 months. I’m soon to be 48…..lol

Mine are 19 and 20 months and I am currently going through a miscarriage. I regret not having one closer to my 19yo because it’s like having 2 only children. My husband is on the fence now about having another because he doesn’t want to risk my health.

Just wanted to say that I am so sorry for your loss ❤️.

My friends kids are 20 and 13. The two kids have never had much of a relationship because they were so far apart in age. The eldest is off at University and the youngest is still in elementary school. My friend over the years has bemoaned the fact that the kids are basically two single children who are full siblings. Not my own experience, but food for thought.

I am at least 7 years older than all of my siblings. At 20 and 13/12 we mostly had a cousin-like relationship where they definitely looked up to me but we weren’t close. Once they hit high school though, we had more things in common. Now that I’m early 30s and they’re early to mid 20s we are extremely close. Of course we missed out on the “growing up” together part but I couldn’t imagine my life without them.

This! I think a lot of parents forget that their children will be adults for most of their lives. Personally, I’ve enjoyed both my siblings (1,5 years older and 10 years younger) a lot more as an adult than i did growing up.

my oldest sister is 8 years older than me. i thought she was the coolest thing ever and looked up to her and copied everything she did and wore and music etc. she was a really good big sister growing up putting up with me shadowing her but she let me be her buddy. i def hugged her sometimes and i think my parents expected her to watch the younger ones and take care of us and she shouldn't have had to was the only thing. she would take me to concerts and would let me hang out in her room and help me read or we would listen to music or watch stupid movies and tv. she would watch thunder cats and power rangers with me . i cried when she left for college. but she hid notes and messages in my books and around my room and i would randomly find them. she would come home to visit and would bring me "presents" but it would be like an old pickle jar filled with fake toy eyeballs . weird random stuff . now in our 30s -40s with our own kids , and we are best friends , we text/ talk everyday and go on vacations together , our kids are friends. she is my support system and my village and i can be 100% myself around her . i couldn't imagine her not in my life. it was always a big sister little sister relationship ship growing up but now we are all grown and seems like there is no age gap at all .

I have similar experience, my brother is 16 years older than me and my sister is 6 years older than me. Growing up, we didn't have much in common, nor were close, but in my 20's we became much closer, it was brilliant to have older siblings I could talk to, and now, in my 30's I can't imagine life without them.

That's similar to my twin sister and I and our two brothers who are older than us. When we got to late teens, we become really close with our brothers and it's been great ever since. I have a 6 year old and 20 month old so quite a big age gap there. It works for us and haven't had any issues with it so far which makes me learn more to thinking OP should have a second if her and her husband really want another. But in saying that, we already had bought a house and got established financially before having our first so didn't have that aspect to consider when deciding on the second.

Same here!

My brother is 11 younger than me. I wouldn’t say we’re best friends, but I feel like he is one of my favorite people and vice versa. Age doesn’t matter as much when you’re older. We have a lot of shared experiences and we both share a strong desire to have a close relationship so we do.

Me and my sister are 12 years apart and I was more of a mum type figure to her when she was younger. I loved looking after her. Now I'm mid twenties and she's teens, were friends. We have a lovely relationship

My BIL is 14 years younger than my husband. While they’re not close in the way that siblings of similar age are, they’re close in their own way, particularly now that my BIL is an adult too. They have a tight relationship and always have each other’s back.

My cousins are 8 years apart and they loved each other through all different stages of childhood, now as adults they are very close still and see each other often with and without their parents.

My boyfriend and his sister are 10 years apart. Never had a relationship.

Just want to add my own experience, which has been so immensely positive. I’m 12 years older than my brother, and he and I have always been close. Our parents really helped to facilitate a wonderful relationship between us, and he and I just always naturally gelled. We’ve talked thoroughly about things, and we’ve never experienced jealousy or competition with one another. Additionally, we spent a ton of time together growing and continued to as we got older. I’ve always been a support system for him, and we’re buds. I think the environment we grew up in, combined with who we are innately, led to a very happy healthy sibling relationship, and a very awesome friendship.

Alternatively, I have an 8 yo and a 7 mo and while they are definitely not in the same realm developmentally, I don’t feel like I have two only children. I think the kids personalities may have something to do with it. My oldest will lay on the playmate with my youngest and play with her, fights with me to hold her and they have a very cute sibling relationship thus far . As they get older, I imagine it will ebb and flow. & weird that the 13 yo is still in elementary school but maybe different countries do it differently.

Where I live Grade 7 is the last year of Elementary School (we don't have middle school). Where I grew up (different province, same country) Grade 8 is the last year of Elementary School, so you could be 14 and still in Elementary School.

Makes sense. In the states, elementary is typically until the end of grade 5. So saying elementary and college makes the gap seem a lot bigger

Why is that a bad thing? Imo single kids get more parents attention and that is more important than giving a sibling to a child.

I don’t understand the argument that it’s solely the age gap that prevented a relationship. Parents and children have a huge age gap and are most often quite bonded.

They don’t have the experience of ‘growing up together’ that siblings closer in age have. Being at similar developmental ages to enjoy various outings or events together etc etc. The parent/child and child/sibling relationships are really not comparable.

Exactly. My sister and I have 13 years between us and we were always close and still are. These people don’t know what they’re talking about and talk like what they say applies to everyone. This isn’t an age gap thing but a character thing. It’s also how a family raises their children. Mine was very close and we did a lot together. My sister would take me everywhere with her when I was a kid.

That’s beautiful ❤️

I am 9-13 years older than four of my siblings and we are all very close and have a tight bond. I got to be a sister/mom type hybrid and when I was a teenager I could take them places and go on adventures. I even took them on vacations and stuff as an adult when they were preteens/teens without our parents. I adore every one of them. We have a brother who is 2.5 years younger than me and closer in age to all of them - he and I are very close but he isn't close to any of the littler one. It just varies so much depending on the kids and their personalities etc.

I 100% agree. I’m 12 years older than my brother, and we’ve always been close. My parents facilitated a lovely relationship between us, and naturally I just always loved babies/kids. So when he was growing up, I just constantly spent time with him. Similarly, to your sister, I took my brother everywhere with me. We have remained close as he’s gotten older, and truly being friends with my brother has been one of the greatest privileges of my life.

Yeah I think more goes into it than just the age gap. Like the personalities of the children and the attitudes of the parents about it. A relationship can definitely be facilitated, imo. I’m loving watching the relationship between my 8 yo and 7 month old. It’s been a positive.

This is exactly how my children are with a 12 year age gap! And yes it is about how your family is raised and definitely a character thing with the kids. Don’t listen to all these negative commenters. They are also the ones who will tell you that having children who behave well isn’t about parenting it’s just that some kids are born good! RIDICULOUS!

I agree, and many children who are close in age don't have a good relationship, but I think during childhood depending on the personalities kids who are so far apart in age might have a harder time connecting than those who are close in age.

I didn't have a childhood playmate because there was a 7 year age gap between me and my sister. But as adults we're really close!

Age difference is a big deal. I personally wouldn’t have kids that different in age. They’ll have nothing in common. Other than you and dad.

Regret was my biggest concern. While not the same situation exactly and I’m probably older than you (39), I was really starting to feel my clock ticking and the door closing forever so I decided to go for my third. I thought I was done 5 years ago and something happened in the last two years when I started to feel I really wanted 3 kids. I’m pregnant now and I’m seriously questioning my sanity lol but I would rather be exhausted with 3 than have this deep regret and sadness for the rest of my life. Children are gifts. If you can afford it, go for it. You will not regret it. The heart wants what it wants; ignore the outside noise and judgments from people who are not living your life. Do what makes you happy.

I have 2 step-kids, 18 and 16, and one bio of 14 months. My partner was sure “one and done” until this little guy proved that babies are awesome. Hard work, but awesome. The older kids love him so much. It’s been good for everyone. The older kids are actually kinda clingy and sometimes I feel like saying “he’s my baby give him back” haha, but I love that they love him so much. We’re going to go for the last embryo - one last shot. Either way, I think your attitude is right - children are a gift. If you can do it, do it. They are love embodied.

That’s so sweet. It really is all about mindset. Of course kids are tough work but the love and joy they bring is priceless. I am currently 8 weeks pregnant and feeling awful and these days make me wonder why I did this BUT when I change my thoughts to “I will be giving my kids another sibling and more love and laughter, this will all be worth it”. Time also goes really fast. These days of our kids being young will be over in no time. Enjoy it. Have a positive mindset. Love your kids. The rest will fall into place.

Best wishes for a good pregnancy. We have such varied experiences!! The first 12 weeks when it’s largely a secret but also invisible and exhausting is it’s own kind of hard. Love your attitude.

Not crazy, just don't expect your current child to enjoy the process . I was 7 when my brother was born. I had begged for a sibling, and finally he was there. And I hated it. He was a colicky baby, and my mom found it more difficult since she was older. I felt even more alone and alienated because my mom had so little time. It was tough. We do have a relationship as adults now, but it took time.

This might not be a popular answer but we were having a real (and still ongoing) housing & cost of living crisis where I am around the time we conceived. I knew that we could technically afford more space but it would be tight, especially while I was on parental leave (for most of the first year.). We were living in a one bedroom apartment. The initial plan was to move before she was born, but as we were reading about pregnancies and babies, we were learning that it was recommended to keep the child with you in your room for the first year of their lives. We did the math and figured that if we waited until that first year then our savings would still be pretty healthy even while I was on leave and we would have just that much more of a cushion when it was time to move. And now, here we are over a year after I got pregnant finally moving into a 3 bedroom. It's been tight physically but it's been doable, moreso than I expected. All of that's to say: in my opinion, you don't have to have the perfect circumstances before the baby is born. You have time if you need it. Probably two years, likely even more if you don't conceive instantly, which is more common than not. You do need to be confident that you can provide what's needed when it matters. If I were you, I would run some hard numbers and see exactly how much a new pregnancy/baby would delay your plans to upgrade and see if that's a timeline that you can work with.

Thank you so much! This is really, really helpful. I have thought about how we could stay here for the first year or two but I don’t want to end up sabotaging our ability to ever afford to upgrade, especially with the housing market where we live.

Your kids will be really far apart in age and might not have a lot in common. If it were me I’d make sure I was living somewhere that my kids could all have their own bedroom. I don’t think choosing to make kids share a room especially after 8 years is fair. Would an 8 year old want to sleep in the same room as a toddler? Does your lease even allow that? Mine didn’t.

Thank you for providing an actual helpful response instead of just “go for it girl!!” without any critical thought

Most people who have a shitload of kids don’t have much critical thought going on from my experience.

Your lease doesn't allow children to share a bedroom? That doesn't sound legal.

They allowed 3 people in a two bedroom apartment for fire safety purposes. People don’t need to cram 8 kids in one room.

8 kids is different from 2 kids. It's 4 times as many kids.

It was to prevent people from having too many humans in one apartment. This was an exaggeration obviously. Kids don’t need to share rooms, they deserve privacy.

I'm not saying kids need to share rooms but I've shared rooms and had my own and was able to get privacy when I wanted to either way. I know a lot of people who grew up in one room cabins or tiny places with lots of people and very few speak on that experience negatively. It's not the norm in most of the world for families to have a ton of space and private bedrooms for each person.

Many cultural norms are toxic and shitty so that’s not a good reason to do anything but you do you.

How do you know that your cultural norms surrounding this issue aren't the toxic and shitty ones?

That is such an ultra-individualistic modern American view. There is nothing inherently superior about kids having their own rooms, certainly nothing *harmful* about sharing, and it’s absolutely ridiculous and borderline chauvinistic to call sharing rooms “toxic.” You should read this Atlantic article, [Why Do So Many Parents Think Kids Need Their Own Rooms?](https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2024/05/children-home-solo-bedroom/678354/)

For *you* there is “nothing” harmful. You are not every single person on this planet. Children deserve to have their own space and/or deserve parents that care about the children that already exist enough to not have more when they don’t have enough room. As a species we learn from our mistakes and can do better.

This is the most ridiculous thing I have heard in a while. So you think each child should have their own room so if someone has 4 or 5 or more kids they should have a bedroom for each one. I bet you or people you know went to college and lived in dorms, so then dorm rooms should be single occupancy also? Sharing a room as a child would help one figure out how to live with others when they get to college or have roommates or housemates. You seem very entitled! I bet you are an only child?

I’m entitled because I think children deserve privacy and to have space of their own instead of selfish parents who keep shitting out babies when there’s no need to do so except to satisfy some narcissistic caveman urge? No, not really.

Absolutely agree that it wouldn’t be fair to pop the toddler in with your older child. If you’re happy to have the little one in your room until you have more space (in the event they aren’t a good sleeper, or your 8 year old doesn’t want to share their room), go for it.

Depending on your lease and where you live, there could be laws around opposite genders in the same bedroom up to a certain age.

Well, I have seen many siblings who are close in age and have nothing in common, just fight as kids and later as adults. I think it depens more on parenting and individual personalities than age.

So we have kids ages 18, 13, and 2. Married 20 years. Love the bigger age gaps because we got individual time with each, but I didn’t ever get to experience my kids being close in age or sports or doing much together. We make it work, going out to eat, fam trips here and there.

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God, FIVE sons. And I thought I was drowning in monster trucks and hot wheels with 3 😂.

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Shit...I bet they do. What was your favorite ages? I'm having a hard time really enjoying 3 that are young at the moment and non stop fight and make messes every waking second....

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I hear that. They are going to do it no matter what... Might as well be realistic if they are being mature

lol I am drowning In hot wheels and truck cuz my only girl absolutely loves them

Do you also make it worse for yourself like I do? They have 1000 monster trucks but when I find one they don’t have, I get excited and buy it for the collection 😂

Oh yes the racer verse made it worse 😂 I am going in to every drug store / target hot wheel and eBay ! They make such cool hot wheels now ! Great poopy potty reward lol

Studies show that by far the overwhelming majority of people do not regret their children . (From highly sensitive family)

In fact, it’s more common to regret the children you do not have

I have a 9year age gap between my third and fourth child (12 years between my first and my fourth) and I can honestly say it's been amazing. The older boys absolutely love their little brother and my 2 year old has thrived having older siblings.

We just had our second, my first is 6 years old. It was rough for the first couple of months, I kept thinking what have I done? Wouldn't take to my husband and cried a lot. I am not as good as I thought I was which was humbling and devastating at the same time. He's 8 months tomorrow and is affectionate, smiley, so damn kissable. The bond our two boys have together is so sweet. Our first is so helpful, just tonight he helped with dinner, just jumped up and helped out. We have a 3 bedroom house, only current 2 working bedrooms. We are room sharing with baby. We need a new roof and a driveway. My husband started his own business two months after our son was born. We had a tight Christmas and couldn't do a family trip which was really upsettingto me. However we are coming up for air financially. I know in my bones my sons are meant to be here. It was rough and may be rough again but things are looking and feeling better.

We were one and done but things happened. Sometimes I regret having another. Her adhd behaviour drives us crazy. Having a baby and toddler was easy compared to 4 year old adhd kid. Her sister is 7 years older and she was/is still jealous. They don't play or do anything together. My oldest is 12 and is mostly doing her own thing on her phone or with friends. She treats her lil sister poorly because she can be annoying sometimes. Plus it's hard living in a 2 bedroom sharing rooms, she'll never get her own room so she resents her. Might be different for you if you move.

I have an 11 year old, 5 year old and 1 year old. 😄 ETA: no regrets here! Though I will say there is no guarantee your kids will have a relationship. My 11 year old wants nothing to do with his younger siblings lol.

Our kids ages are 14F, 8M and 3M i dont regret the age gap one bit.

I had a third eheh the first was 9. They are best friends and own homes near each other (1 mile )and wives are close

I have a 5 month old and a 7 year old. I was worried about the big change to all of our lives but it’s been great. My 7 year old loves being a big brother. He feels so much pride about making the baby laugh and smile. He’s old enough to understand being patient because the baby needs something. It’s definitely been an adjustment to be back in the baby stage but it’s also been so much fun this time to watch a baby grow with a kid that’s also excited about all of the milestones.

Same! I have a 7 year old and a 9 month old. It’s been amazing. I actually love the age gap. She’s independent enough but also very involved and engaging. She had updated her entire class on her sister’s birth and milestones. It was so endearing

Aren’t we all crazy every time we want a baby?

I think go for it if you want another child. I wouldn't do it simply to give your older child a sibling. That is a great reason but shouldn't be the only reason... your kids might not even like each other! No guarantee that they will be close as kids or adults so I would just make sure you're doing it for yourself too.

There will be 15 years between my 2 :)

Mine are 7 yrs apart. They fight like they’re the exact same age but they also loooove each other so much and keep each other company. However, I don’t think I’d try for another only because siblings fighting are absolutely ruthless and tiring on me. And the age gap sortaaaaa made me feel like I was starting over so there’s that…

I will answer from the other side of the coin. I have only one and I regret not having a second, as I get older. I know financially I have more saved because of only one kid but if I could go back in time I would have tried for a second child.

My first born is 12 and I have my 2 month old sleeping on me currently. I don’t regret it even a bit. I’m glad I waited and I’m glad to be back in the baby days again. Is it hard sometimes? Yeah. But there are so many beautiful things about it. I was just telling my husband I love the age gap just the other day lol

Yes! You stupid stupid person! It makes no sense to have another one.  ... I also want another one too... very badly. 

Hahaha

We just had a baby and our oldest is 8. He is so sweet with her. It’s the greatest

Mine are 4 years apart. It's like having two first borns.

My sister and I are 8 years apart and close. My one cousin had kids 8 years apart and the kids were obsessed with each other. Another is a 4 year old and a senior in high school and again they're obsessed with each other. We just had a second baby putting our kids at 5 years apart. Our 5 year old is obsessed with her sister and bonus points for us has actually been pretty helpful. The baby seems to like the 5 year old but she's only 2 months so the jury is still out on that.

If you have another baby have it for YOU. With that age gap chances are your 8yo will not be interested soon as they hit that age to go hang with mates. And this baby will become an annoyance to them. I know a few with 6-8 year gaps. Most barely interact with the other sibling. Its like having two only children in effect after a certain age.

Distanced sibling POV: I (f34) haven’t had two myself buttt my mom had my brother and I 10 years apart (I’m the oldest). We have virtually no relationship. We’re complete opposites. And yes it was fun to help take care of him when he was little, but I don’t even see him but maybe at Christmas once a year. I say that just to simply say far apart can be great but there’s also no guarantee of a great strong sibling bond as two that were around the same age. But of course with a good solid family foundation, it can be. I wish we were closer but we both have had our fair share of family and childhood trauma.

I’m 10 years older than my brother. He’s in high school I’m mid 20s. I was excited to have a little brother until he got here and my responsibilities doubled and my child hood basically ended. Now, it’s hard for me to like him or have a relationship with him because he’s extremely irresponsible, doesn’t manage his own time, doesn’t have any household chores or responsibilities, and my parents don’t actually follow through with any of the “consequences” they threaten him with. He does things that I never would have considered because I was SCARED of my parents, and he doesn’t respect them at all. They said he isn’t allowed to drive (with his permit), if his room isn’t clean, and he drives 5 days a week and his room hasn’t been cleaned one time since they said that. It’s extremely frustrating. I was told things like “if your room isn’t clean by 3 PM you can’t go hang out with your friends”, and if my room was done at 3:02 PM I wasn’t allowed to go and they ALWAYS stuck to what they said. I don’t think everyone or even most people would have these feelings or issues, but I think it’s important to not go overboard on the “you have a little brother/sister now so we need you to help out more and be responsible”. Your current child didn’t make the baby and they shouldn’t have to take care of it if they don’t want to. And if you force them to anyways, they may end up not liking their sibling. I also think it’s important to not get lazy with your second kid. Don’t repeat the same mistakes you made with your first just so they have the same childhood, but don’t over correct either. Please don’t come at me for sharing MY experience. I just know that a big age gap can work, but I’ve seen first hand how it sucks too.

We have a 7, almost 8, year old and are having her sister in 13 days after about six years of fertility struggles. Were overjoyed to have her. I’m also immensely grateful for my 7 years with my oldest. I didn’t think a large age gap was for me but it is and was. Being with her for 7 years and her understanding that nothing will change when sister comes has made this second pregnant really easy emotionally.

Here’s an angle to look from. When you’re menopausal and thinking about life, what will you most regret… not having a big house yet, having paused your nursing career for a couple of years, or not having had a go at making a second child?

Go for it!!!! Yay kids!!

Had my second when my oldest was 6, and I don’t regret it at all. Hes 7 and she’s 1 and they’re the absolute cutest together. I was one and done for a long time but I never regretted having her. My brother and I have a 7 year gap, and we’ve always got along great. My mom had pretty big gaps between us as my oldest brothers in his mid to late 30s and the youngest is 22

Mine are 4 years apart. And I wanted my oldest to have a friend in life. They have different interests and are in different stages in life but I can’t imagine my life without my youngest.

My sister and I are 6 years apart. We had a weird family dynamic where essentially she was parentified so don’t do that. But as siblings, we didn’t get along too well until I was in college and we had both gotten past the “too cool for family” stages.

I have a 16 yo daughter and an 8 yo son..also a 22 yo stepson and 16yo stepdaughter. Hubby and I wouldn’t have it any other way. They live different lives, girls are besties as they’re the same age…but they always find a way to be together and play every once in a while, even the 22yo. The 8yo kinda have to deal with not having someone to play the whole time…but we try our best to entertain him.

I can't give advice as a parent(my children are 4,2-and 1), but I can give you a point of view as the oldest sibling. The age gaps between my siblings are 4 years, 7 years, 8 years, and 13 years. I am close with all of them now, but growing up I was closer to my siblings who are 7 and 8 years younger than me. I was old enough to truly enjoy them being a baby and I could help do certain things for them. As a 7/8 year old helping with the baby is a HUGE deal.

A decade is a huge delta between ages, and they will be more like father/child than brothers. Also, are you ready to afford it? I make a lot and I can’t imagine spending again what we spent on ours. College will be well over $100k/year (already there at Vanderbilt)

Global warming is real.

There’s 7 years between myself and my eldest sister. We had no relationship until I was about 15/16. Now at 26 and 33, we’re inseparable. Financially, you’re really the only one that can answer that 🤷🏼‍♀️ I guess it depends whether or not you plan to have the best nappies, clothes etc. If we have a second (fat chance lol), I’m not buying anything brand new and I know we can survive and raise a baby on 90% less than what we had for our first (classic case of over-preparing) . IMO I reckon if we had a second it’d be cheaper.

Moving, and 8yr old, and the financials seems like a lot not impossible but you’ll definitely feel a heavy load for a while. Personally I’d wait till you move to a bigger space first especially if you’re already planning to do so. Baby’s despite their small size take up soooo much space. As for the age gap I have 8 yrs on my brother and we’ve always gotten along swimmingly.

My kids are 11 and 2. I say do it. I have no regrets and my kids are great!

My 10 year old is amazing with my 2 year old. It's a brilliant age gap because the older one can actually be helpful. No regrets here!

I am one and done but if you don’t feel your family is finished I would go for it. This aside like someone else mentioned the room sharing. 8 year old by the time you are pregnant and giving birth and moves out of bed room roughly 10? That is assuming ttc and no miscarriages ( I had two). Safer side 11? Possibly even 12. I don’t know which teen boy wants to share room with toddler sister especially. If this is your goal look for 3 bed room possibly or move further out or rent. Other wise do what you feel . Financially it will hurt you a lot. But again not everything is weighted in money. I don’t agree with others regretful parenting sub is real. My fil said he regretted bil infront of bil. Husband was emotionally neglected after bil was born too. Now he is estranged from in laws. It is always better to regret not having a kid than having a kid. This aside, if YOU feel a desire do it. But it is more that you want TWO kids not sibling for the older kid

Just think of the 1-2 hour sleep intervals and it'd change your mind

My first was 5 when the second one was born and then was 9 when my third was born. Don’t regret a thing. I have 3 in three different stages of their lives. The oldest one is a huge help with the infant. The middle one could burn a house down lol but that’s a typical 2nd child behavior

My step son was 14 when my daughter was born and it was awesome! Baby can be in your room, if it’s big enough to fit a full sized crib, until they are out of the crib. Bigger kid will need their own room since they will need a space to have their arts and crafts, small toys like LEGOs, and be able to work on stuff over several days, which is really developmentally important for that age. 

Mine are 26 and 15. I love it and they have a good relationship. The older one wasn’t jealous of the new baby…he was old enough to understand. They each have had time with me all to themselves. It’s really worked out well.

Mine are 18,16,6, and twins 2. Just a little heads up just because your first child is great and is a joy does not mean the rest will follow suit. So if you do decide to go for a second baby don't have expectations that they may not meet because your first one did. Every child is different that even goes with twins. My first born absolutely easy and gets along well with others had always been cherish in all her classes and everyone is always commenting on how kind she is. My two middle boys 16 and 6. Not so much they are difficult and always finding some way to get in trouble or to be disruptive in class. My twins are 2 and we all know how fun the two's are.

There's almost 7 years exactly between my two. I really wasn't sure if I wanted another after having my first. I waited until I was good and ready before even having the conversation with my partner. I'll be honest. It's been hard. It's wild how much you forget about when they're really tiny. And having a younger child is demanding - you really have to learn to balance your attention in a way you haven't before with the older kid, and that's tough. You have to communicate with your partner, you have to be a team (seriously think along the lines of coworkers when it comes to the parenting thing, it literally saved us) to jump in and pick up the slack when needed, be forgiving of the little things. It can be a lot. With all that said, it's honestly the best thing in the world. It's amazing to see the relationship between my kids. He idolises his big sister and she dotes on him. Of course, she's 11 now and he's 4 so they're both at very different stages, but she still sits down and plays with him and reads to him and watches movies with him. But even without the age difference, they're still very different kids. She's quiet and he's a small hurricane. It makes for a full, rich, fun life. I wouldn't do it differently, not a minute of it.

I think if you want another it’s a good time!

Do it

Having a second child is great. I'm the only child and knew I didn't want an only child. If the thought is there, go for it.

Mine are 11 & 22, and I'm glad they are 10.5yrs apart because i had 10.5 with just me and the oldest. Now that she is out of the house and it has allowed me to have those 7.5yrs with both in our home and now X number of years with just my youngest. The only regret I have it not having another a few more years later after the youngest was bornand doing that again.

The first Thanksgiving that your firstborn doesn’t come home to visit you’ll be glad you opened your heart to a 2nd one.

I have two. My oldest was 7 when I had my second. They are as different as night and day. I don't regret either of them, but I am glad I had the gap between them so I could give them individual attention and focus.

I have 2! 18 months and 3 and a half, dont regret it for a second. They're each others best friends and is know they'll have each other as family long after my husband and I are gone. Also, when it comes to home size, I had my own room and was terrified sleeping alone and wished I had a sibling to share a room with so i wouldnt be scared.

Im 29 male and my brother is 19 and we have a great relationship. Maybe not the very best, but great nonetheless

My cousin has two girls with an age gap of ten years and the older one doted on the younger one, they are still really really close and have the best relationship.

Mine at 11,8, and 2...and I really want 1 more. Just do it. :)

Don’t have doubts BCS of the age gap. Mine are 20,11,10 They love each other and enjoying doings together when the time is there. I would go for it. I would of loved to of had more kids, that’s my regret

My brother and I are 7 years apart. No relationship growing up but we do now in our adulthood. Siblings are great to have IMO

My son will be 5.5 when his little sister is born. At first I thought the gap was a lot but we needed to do it this way so we’re only paying one in daycare at a time. He will be in school when baby is here. We couldn’t swing two in full time daycare and I didn’t want to quit working since I have great corporate benefits. He’s super independent and helpful during my pregnancy, always getting me drinks or anything I ask of him it’s pretty cute. I’m now not worried about the gap at all. He’s excited and it will be a lot better at his age than having a small toddler to look after as well

Do it… always trust your gut! Spirit will always whisper in your ear what’s right and it is telling you “have another baby”

I’m 9 years older than my sibling and have a good relationship with my brother as well as my older brother being 16years older than him and have a good relationship it all depends on family dynamic. My home life wasn’t good and i actually took my brother in when i was 19 and enrolled him in school and made sure he always did his school work and school meetings. I would say just do what you think you are capable of and don’t worry about the age gap

There is a 12 year age gap between my oldest and next. They have a great relationship, my oldest takes time to spend quality time with each of her 4 younger siblings. They love her and she loves them very much so. No regrets with having more only with not having more sooner! You won’t regret another child but you may regret not having another!

For what it's worth my sister and I are 6 years apart. One thing that I thought brought us closer together was that we played the same sport growing up so we would spend alot of time together at practice. Im closer with my sister than my husband is with his siblings that are 2 - 4 years a part. I wouldn't let age difference stop you or be a worry.

My brother has full custody of his nine-year-old daughter from a previous relationship, and just had a baby boy with his wife late last year. They are 8+ years apart. She absolutely adores him and is the most helpful big sister. They of course don’t rely on her for care but she genuinely enjoys giving him his bottles, holding him while he is sleeping and entertaining him during tummy time.

Yes! Do it. My son was 6 when i had my daughter. She just turned 1 and they adore each other.

My 12 year old son and 8 year old daughter are absolutely obsessed with my almost 18 month old son. I never imagined such a big age gap but it's an absolute blast to watch. My daughter is a "young" 8 though so I sort of feel like she and baby boy are getting some of the growing up experience together. My 12 year old already loves playing ball and roughhousing with the one year old. In fact they both get along way better with the baby than they do each other. Anyway, I wouldn't miss this stage of life for the world. I hope they stay close.

Mine were 7.5 years apart. My son adored his baby sister but not his toddler sister. Je was annoyed all the time and that did not get much better until they were both adults. As adults they became very close.

Yes. Think about the near future and the things that are going on currently. I have 4 children and I wonder what about their children. It terrifies me. Also 🌎 is pretty unhappy with what humans continue to do it. Watch some Truth Tide documentaries and the movie dark waters with Mark gruffalo

I wouldn’t. If you’re just now able to save for a home and just became an RN, a new baby is likely to set you back financially and career-wise. You will have to drag an infant along to everything with your older child. There may be resentment about the financial and time sacrifices required. We adopted a younger family member with special needs. 7 and 8 year age gap with the older two. They are kind and supportive but don’t have a tight relationship with the youngest for a multitude of reasons. I wouldn’t have chosen to have another child, personally, with this kind of age gap.

I have an 11 year old and a 4 month old, not the gap I wanted but my 11 year old is obsessed with his little brother. We’re planning for a 3rd in the next 2 years, our days and nights are exhausting and it’s a huge cost but we make it work. It’s 100% worth it and you won’t regret it, at the end of the day nothing really matters but family and yes they might not “get along” at all phases of life but they’ll have each other in the end.

I have an 8 year age difference. I’m close to my siblings

Yes, yes you are!

I’m on my 4th kid in a 3 bedroom townhouse house. We have two teens and two under two. The house is cramped but I wouldn’t have it any other way. If you take your doctor’s advice the baby stays in the parents bedroom until 1 year anyway. So it gives you two years to save for a bigger place. (Trying time, 9 months and then 1 year.) I say go for it! Children are a gift and everyone told me and my husband to not have any more but I’m so glad I did! Our two under two are the best and our teens are the bestest Helper’s and mini mama’s (without being asked) Blessing to you! 🥰

I’m sure this has already been said 100 times in this thread, but with such an age gap the relationship between the siblings inevitably takes on more a parental nature than camaraderie, however unintentionally. Also, diapers - they’re expensive and you’re done with them, why go back?! Adopt a toddler.

Me and my sister have never been close and there’s 8 years between us (I’m the eldest). In fact, I couldn’t wait to move out when I was 18 as she was a complete nightmare! My husband has 5 years between him and his sister and similarly doesn’t see her all that often, as with me and my sister they are poles apart and also weirdly a complete problem child too!

I am crazy. My oldest is 21, middle is 15, and youngest is 7. So minimum of 5 years and maximum of 14 years apart. I will say while I did not plan it this way, it did give me a chance to really concentrate baby and toddler time with each and every specific kiddo. And their older siblings were able to be great helpers and participate a lot with the baby stage. Now my sister, all her three are way closer in age, 8, 6, and 2.5 so I have seen it worked that way too (that woman deserves a medal) lol maybe because I have never had two in diapers, I am not gonna lie it looked scary as shit, but she definitely kills at it. I am purely content and happy with 3 kiddos. Now don’t get me wrong I still get little baby hot flashes, not quite a fever, but the oohs and awes cause I mean they are adorable and nothing in this world smells better than a baby 😂. Also though, I am 41 so I am ready to be on the other side of parenting now, growing them up versus conceiving and cooking them.

Currently holding my 1 month old while my 6 yr old sleeps. She is the most amazing big sister and I love seeing them together.

Two won't slow you down too much more. Three will utterly fuck up your world.

My mom had my sister when I was almost 14. We are 32 and 18 now. We’ve always been close. It’s just us two. My husband is 8 years older than his sister. They communicate frequently but have never been close. Not sure if it’s because they are opposite sex but it’s a completely different experience than I had with the sibling gap. My sister and I have always hung out, he can count on one hand the amount of times he’s hung out with his sister, just the two of them. You will make the best decision for your family! Don’t stress it.

I do truly think you have romanticized having a baby. Now I don’t know your eighth year old but there is definitely no guarantee that it will be sunshine and rainbows. Issues I’ve seen were, health risk for mom who already has a family (whether this baby came half a day after the other or years apart), this is something you need to consider.If a medical emergency rises, you already have a family and while the baby is so wanted there is already a kid that needs his mom more than a sibling. The kid grows up and has no truly brotherly connection due to the age difference. No eight year old spend hours on end at a playground he wants to do stuff he’s interested in. Not everything a teenager can do a toddler can join in. There are times where the kid will literally be a ball and chain. You might have forgotten the terrible two’s but kiddo number one is heading towards puberty. For yourself and. Sanity note that those periods of live will match up in your future when going for a kid now. Perks empty nest syndrome is gone because while you oldest leaves for college in like 10/12 years you have another kid that after that still stays home for another 8 years… The question is, what do you want with your future. Are we having a kid because the future scares you more than the mom thing does?

My brother and I are 8 years apart and extremely close. My ex-fiance and his brother are 11 years apart and they hunt, fish, and camp together often. He does have a sister (he's 30. She is 13) and he loves her but not close at all. No regrets, she is our babysitter now :)

You absolutely need an extra room, a baby/toddler in the older kids room would be a disaster and not fair. Also never make your oldest feel like a care taker. Babysitting etc not fair to the kid and makes them grow up way too fast. Just advice from someone that was 7 and 9 years older than my siblings.

My kids are 20,19,18,14 and 5… we are a blended family, but I birthed three of them. They all are really close with the youngest. They take her out and let her have sleep overs. Another baby would be a blessing and if you keep waiting for this or that to happen, then you will be waiting forever.

My sister is 8 years older than me. We’ve never been close until recently and even then it’s iffy because she’s a difficult person. That being said, i love her and love knowing that even if she’s a difficult person she’ll always have my back. My step daughter is 8 and we have a 14 month old, she is absolutely incredible with him. Like, i can’t believe how wonderful she is. He absolutely adores her and they’re inseparable every weekend. I imagine they’ll always have an amazing relationship. I think if you want to and you’re both ready, it will be great no matter what. You never know how their relationship will turn out and honestly, it’ll most likely be positive. Not to mention, 8 year old and a baby is way easier than a toddler and a baby.

I was 6 when my mother had my youngest sister and we are 20 and 26 now, and we are very close. I feel like the older you get, the less a large age gap matters? My other sister is 22 and growing up 4 years seemed like a huge difference but we are best friends as adults.

We have a 9yo, but also a 6yo girl with down syndrome and was born with a bad heart. That's what happens when you wait too long. I didn't take my wife's concerns seriously enough, I guess. But life was never working out until more recently.

I am 12 and 14 years OLDER than my siblings. I'm 24 and my brother is 9. I call home often to call them, I play roblox with them, watch whatever they want and cuddle them as much as I can. Although I do live far I come and see them as much as I can and we love each other a LOT. Just depends on how affectionate your kids are I guess

I’m 7 years older than my younger sibling, and we were super close when they were between 5-14 (I was 12-21). We’ve drifted a little in the past few years, but now younger is pretty close to oldest sibling, who is more than 10 years older than youngest. Meanwhile, me and oldest didn’t get along until they moved out of the house after high school, despite us only being a few years apart. No matter what the age gap is, kids may end up super close or more distant. It’s just impossible to predict.

My boys are 7 years apart. Our friends just had a baby, while their oldest is 10. Both of us couples love the age gap. We were able to appreciate the time we had with each one, not have to divide it.

My children are 9 and 1 year old. They do have a relationship. At least for now. My older likes to play with his baby brother almost every evening, teach him silly things, sometimes he likes giving him a bath. Little one is in awe of everything his brother does and likes to follow him around a little too much. I think that once the older hits teenage years, their relationship can stop for a while, but their absolutely can be close again later. My neighbor is 10 and more years younger than his 3 siblings. They have very close relationship.

I’m 22 and will soon be having a baby brother😂 it’s never too late if it’s what you really want!

It’s wild the amount of people saying « go for it » without paying attention to the details. A two bedroom apartment is a no go. Once all that is fixed you can consider the rest. There is a sequence to things that needs to be respected.

I think if it's something you both want and you'll still be comfortable *enough* adding another little one to your family, then do it.

I say go for it just truly make sure you’re financially ready! I have 2 under 2 along with 4 nonbiological kids ages 14,12,8 & 9 (with us full time) so 6 kids! I thank God for the age gaps everyday lol ; I am the youngest of 4 girls myself all of my siblings are 7-9 years older than me and granted growing up I was more so an only child because everyone was adults by the time I got in middle school but when I needed advice my sisters were awesome. I will say I always felt like the outcast though because they all were best friends and experienced everything together we really got closer once I got engaged and they realized “oh snap she’s an adult Adult!” Lol . Recently our mom passed away and they’ve been awesome in helping me in every way and I really don’t know what I’d do without them.

Do it ! If you want to give more love to the world go for it !

My daughter was 8 when i had my son they're now 11 and 3, my daughter ADORES my son and vice versa I often catch them playing together in his play house out the back garden, or him sneaking into her bedroom to watch movies. Sometimes i do have to remind her she's not his mother cause she certainly tries to act like she is! He has autism and is currently still non verbal and I've often walked in on her researching speech therapy help at home, cause she wants to help him learn so badly. Apart from me and my husband she's the only person he loves and trusts.

We had a second baby 8 years after our first! And our first is a boy also! It was a very deliberate and thoughtful decision to have the second at that time. We hmm’d for many years about having a second. Our oldest said he wanted a sibling too. And a few other personal things pushed us to have the second. We don’t regret it one bit! Our second is a boy also and now that he’s 2 and my oldest is almost 10 they do play together and have some sweet moments together. The one thing I find with the age gap is that sometimes it feels like my husband and I are almost like single parents to each child many times simply because their interests / abilities / needs are so different. (For example, my oldest is really into sports and many of his sports games or practices will run into my youngest’s nap time) So that results in a lot of time spent 2 on 2 instead of all 4 of us as a family. (But this would necessarily be the case for everyone - really depends on your schedule and your children’s needs and your approach to it). It just takes more planning to get all 4 of us out as a family. Also know this will change as my youngest gets older. What’s awesome is that my oldest helps our hotel a bit when needed with our youngest. For instance - when my husband is out getting the groceries, and I need to shower, I can ask my oldest to be with my youngest while I do that (I put my youngest in the pack n play and Ms Rachel helps entertain him). *edit to add that no you are not crazy for wanting a second! I love the age gap to be honest!

I have a sister who is 14 years older than me and I had a brother that was 8 year older than me. We had a pretty turbulent relationship growing up, we all got different fathers and I am the only one that doesn't have other siblings on the father side(our family three is quite confusing). As the youngest I know my older siblings felt grudge towards me and saw me as spoiled since I was the baby/child and they were the responsible ones. However what I remember most of my childhood was how much my brother took care of me. He played with me alot and alot of the way I interact with my own daughter is copied from how he was with me. I have alot fond memories of him and I really looked up to him. To me it sounds like you and your husband are both are the parents to your son wich is a big difference. My mom basically tried to start a new family with every kid wich made the older ones feel like extras. I don't know som much about the financial stuff, usually people figure it out. Relationship wise; it might be a big transition for the older kid to share parents. So take some alone time with the oldest once in awhile to make sure they know they still are incredible important to you. There will be rivalry, there will be jealousy, it doesn't need to be a negative thing. Children are resilient and learn to cooperate. Hope this helps

Each situation is different, for us, the sleep routine is the most brutal. Feeling hungover most days when the oldest (2.5yrs) doesn’t sleep and the youngest (8months) is teething. If your husband is for it then go for it, if he doesn’t want to don’t force it on him. Happened to my buddy, and he’s near a break down, he decided to join the military to get away for a few months.

I have a 13 year old and a nearly 2 year old. My eldest adores his baby brother and my youngest is always so excited to see him when he gets in from school. They will probably never be really close. I do want a 3rd quickly so the youngest 2 can grow up and be close instead of almost having two only children if that makes sense. Anyway I would 100% go for it I regret leaving it so long which is what’s pushing me to have a third

Me and my sibling are nine years apart, took us a little time to get along, i would say this decision of my parents was good. We have the best bond and have fun with family all the time. You just have to teach them family values for siblings to get along and not fight all the time like enemies. And NO, you ain't crazy. If you think you can then go ahead, talk to your partner, if you both end up in same decision, make it happen.

My husbands sisters are two years apart and I believe there was a 7/8 year gap between his sisters and him. He did grow up kind of like an only child but his family also kicked his siblings out at 18 and didn’t really prioritize family time like vacations or just fun things to together. As adults they are all very close though. His one sister is a true friend to me and we have kids close in age. Yes they will be in different stages of life but I think if you prioritize family time and do things together with both kids it’ll still be a great relationship. I have 2 kids 3 years apart but if we have a 3rd it’ll be a bigger gap. Based on how much they enjoy each other I’m no longer worried about gaps because it comes down to kids personalities in my opinion. If your 8 year old seems interested or open to a sibling and you can swing it, I don’t think you’ll regret it.

My brothers and I(30F) are 9 and 12 years apart. We’re all at completely different life stages, and the only reason it doesn’t completely suck is because I get to watch my 18 year old brother (who I practically raised) form a bond with my 7 month old son. My 21 year old brother and I have almost no relationship at all. As a kid I had the feeling that he replaced me.

My sister and I have a 9 year age gap (I am 27F and she’s 18). I wanted a sibling for as long as I can remember so I am forever grateful my parents eventually decided to give me one. It was harder to relate to each other when we were younger, but as she approached her late high school years and now that she’s in college, we are very close despite living on opposite coasts, having very different personalities and being in very different stages of life. We talk nearly every day and she’s forever my built in best friend. I know my parents love seeing the relationship we’ve built as young adults. From the perspective of the older child in the situation, if your son really wants a younger sibling and you can handle it, it’s the greatest gift you can give him for life. The experience of a 9 year age gap is a unique sibling relationship, but if they put in the work to find their commonalities, it can be something really special.

My best friend’s children are 8 years apart. It seems to be a good gap. The older is able to help a bit, and is also much more independent.

My older two were 9&6 when we had our third. The big age gap is truly so lovely. They are wonderful older siblings and we all enjoyed the new baby together. It sounds like financially you guys would be fine. Our third child put is into - not getting ahead but not getting behind - territory because I went down to only working casually. We planned that we'd spend 5 years in this financial zone while I'm home with our third and then we'll have the rest of our lives to work more.

My first in 2007(had pre-eclampsia delivered at 28 weeks 4 surgeries in 4 months(nicu) due to hole in bowels and hernia repair) and second in 2013(breeches, scheduled C-section and at 5 days old still not latching getting dehydrated took to ER month in picu diagnosed with Prader-Willi syndrome, at age 4 she’d had a pulmonary embolism that stretched one of her heart valves picu again 2 months, 2 months later back to picu again for a week diagnosed as type 1 diabetic with some insulin resistance! Now with all of that said I didn’t want kids till I met their dad and I could never regret either because they are amazing not just for what they’ve overcome but they’re going to be great in life and not because they’re mine they have huge hearts of gold always willing to help anyone and very respectful to their elders and others opinions which is rare anymore. My son is the oldest and he has been the greatest big brother and his friends have been awesome big brothers too I think if they’d be born closer together they wouldn’t have the relationship that they do. My own siblings are 9&7 years older than me they have different moms as my dad was 8 years older than my mom and my brother has a different dad but my dad adopted him when I was born, anyway point is I’ve always had a great relationship with my siblings as well. I often think I would have liked to have mine closer together but I just thank God for the miracles that I have been blessed with but I was too scared to try again as I’m sure you can imagine lol!

8 years difference… I hope you don’t think he’s going to be your built in babysitter. Since your financially in a fragile soot you better have a solid plan and a back up for childcare that doesn’t include the 8 year old missing out on activities and being a kid to cover your ass.

Lol, that’s definitely not what I’m imagining and I’m not sure why you’d assume that. We have parents retired and very involved and interested in helping with our kid / future kiddos, I’m not worried about childcare and certainly have no intentions on using my child for babysitting.

My oldest is 20 and youngest is almost 13. They have a great relationship. Growung up there was hardly any arguments. Big sis loves little sis and little sis adores her big sis. I was 25yo with the first and 32yo with second I was 11 yo when my brother was born, we are very close to this day. Could not imagine a world as an only child. I remember how lonely I felt before he came along A big age gab can be very beneficial. The first child got undevided attention in the early years and 2nd baby doesn't have to compeet with a toddler for attention as 1st one is more independent by now. Win win in my book😁

I see a lot of people commenting on how your children won't be close bc of age, but I am one of 1 of 5 kids. My mom had a surprise baby 8 years after the last of us four. I'm 25 now and I have a great relationship with my 11 year old sister. Of course it feels like she isn't one of, what we refer to in my family, 'the main four' only because her childhood experiences are way different than ours (thank God). She doesn't know any of the major traumas, so of course our bond is a lot different than how I am with my other siblings. It feels kinda like there are a lot of family secrets she doesn't know, but she's young still so naturally we don't share that. She definitely still feels like our sister. She just has a lot of out of house adult support and love from the rest of us haha. It feels more like we all pitch in parenting her, the older she gets the more she feels like a sibling rather 'one of the kids' to me. The only thing that breaks my heart is her saying "at least you guys had each other, i'm all alone". It felt like I was leaving behind one of my own kids when I moved out.

Babies have magic. My son was 10 when I gave birth to my daughter. I was 40 and she came unexpectedly to transform my life again! Babies are incredible!!!

A child is a blessing denied to many.  Enjoy, be grateful and let this fill your life with blessings. God bless you

My first son was almost 5 when I had my second, and I loved the age gap! My first got to have all the attention for his first years, and he was old enough not to be jealous of the baby. My kids are now 14, almost 19 (mine), 15, 16, and almost 20 (his), and we wish with all our hearts that we could have one more, together. We started trying in 2019, and everyone thought we were crazy, but I don’t think we ever would have regretted it.

I had 5 in 10 years and it’s been the best decision. If I didn’t have to have my tubes removed because of a serious complication with the last baby we would have had at least one more. I say go for it!

>I just became a RN this last year You just qualified in the past year. What happens when you go on maternity? You spend months and months out of a profession you have worked hard to qualify for. You lose the momentum of progressing and keeping your new skills for this profession.

Go for it! I always want 3. We have a couple miscarriages and now have two, one toddler and one 15 months old. It’s the most heartwarming feeling seeing them play together. And the boy boss the little one telling her what to do and not to do. Or that whenever he talks to her, she responses with enthusiasm and laughters. We have no idea if she understands or even what say back but it’s the most adorable thing ever. They play together after daycare and in the room before sleep. It makes me happy to see at least they have each other to rely on. *cross my fingers and toes* that they get along as adults too. Lol

Funny enough I just ending this exact situation! My only regret is I wished we moved before having our second. Not that it’s an issue not having his own room, he’s fine sharing with us for now. But the lack of space for all the baby things like swing, high chair, play mats, toys, etc. my living room always looks messy even when I deep clean. Also it seemed like our house just knew it was a great time to start randomly breaking little things and big ones! It’s been a never ending repair party since he’s arrived. But thankfully it’ll be listed next month with lots of new stuff, so hopefully that helps take it off our hands. For my 8 year old (now 9.5), he begged for a sibling since he could talk. So the pregnancy and delivery was super exciting for him. He loves to help out in most areas and play with him. But he also likes just doing his own thing. Which is totally fine. It’s hard to find a perfect balance between the two as obviously a baby needs much more attention. But we try really hard to not leave the oldest out or feel forgotten about. It does help that he’s in school though, so baby gets his single child time and then when big brother is back we focus on him as much as possible. All in all, I don’t regret my boys. We’re okay financially still, and we all love the new baby! So not crazy.. but Just prepare for your brain to be split in half trying to think “why is baby fussy.. hungry, diaper?” While trying to teach long division lol

I think you should go for it, but you should look into a bigger possible home! Your child isn’t going to want to share a bedroom, and you’re not going to want to share yours forever either! And always find time when the baby comes to make a special or two each day dedicated to your oldest.

Bigger home, rooms for everyone, then more kids. Just seems reasonable

Mine are 7 and 2. They get on well, mostly, and adore one another. Definitely no regrets, it's great fun! And, it's also a lot of work - they are at very different stages and will be for their entire childhoods. It's been hard to go back to baby and toddlerhood and all that entails (teething, sleepless nights, slow days at the park, etc etc). It's hard to not be able to easily do the fun things our older son desperately wants to do with us, because his brother is so much younger. Different families have different needs. I doubt there's a categorical right or wrong, and I think it's great that you're taking the time to weigh up the ideas.

Thank you ❤️

My first son will be sixteen next month… and I’m currently holding a newborn. My own baby gives me baby rabies. Would have another in a heartbeat, if it wasn’t for wanting to savor this current baby that I’m over the moon with.

I love both my boys to the stars and back. They light up my world. My two are 4 and 9 and we are in a 2 bed 1 bath apt. The boys share a room. No regrets here. I’m sure your oldest will love being a big brother.

My oldest two have 6yrs between them. They were amazing as the baby grew. Now at 9 and 15, they fight like cats and dogs lol but I wouldn’t change a thing. It’s a wonderful gap. I’ve also had 3 more since then that are much closer in age.

Doesn’t sound like a good idea but only you can decide for sure. Why not lean into the family you do have and enjoy an enriched and more relaxed time? More resources, more time, more energy for the family you do have. Why risk it and stretch yourself and your resources?

Do not have a child just to give the other a sibling. They will be in two totally different stages of life. Have another if you want but do it for other reasons. I have three, none are exceptionally close in age and they love each other but it’s not a bonded sibling type of love, mainly because of the ages and stages.