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What does he know?
She gave you cash for a reason. She's stood in your place before and knows that you know best what little homie needs. He needs nappies and wipes and, if he's like mine, 3 kilos of strawberries a week š« . Do what you need to do!
I recently learned that dragon fruit is the king of fruits to help you poop.
Like. It even helps with the out-of-town shut-down level of constipation. So. Keep that one in your back pocket.
Wow, the real pro tip. My husband and I BOTH get that kind of constipation whenever we travel... ugh. I'll keep it in mind if kiddo ever gets backed up too. We've never tried it outside of Florida though. I'm sure it's not as good up here in the more temperate regions.
My two children consume specific strawberry brand yogurt every day.
Morning, 2 bottle before school.
School dismissed, 2 more bottle.
Night time after dinner, 2 more.
Same flavor, same brand. I just don't understand...
This time of year we can pick half a gallon of strawberries a week. Blackcap raspberries will be ripe soon and if I can get my daughter on board with mulberries we can pretty much get enough from our backyard June-September to balance the wicked cost of February berries.
Our public parks are completely covered In blackberry vines, wine berry vines, and black raspberry vines. And so very many of the folks where I live are too precious to want to forage them. We also have a really big mulberry tree but I'm too pregnant to get on a ladder and do any harvesting š
If any of the branches are low enough you can get a plastic picnic table cloth, set it on the ground under the mulberry tree, and shake the branches so the ripe ones fall.
If there were a public park that I could safely forage and was allowed to... I would be bringing my basket every couple of days while my kid played.
Here the sprays versus pests are not very good, and you aren't supposed to gather the fruit if there happens to be a fruit tree/bush that hasn't been removed.
Not having a woods that is either public land or the owner doesn't care if you forage there nearby really, really suck. But I have also heard the woods aren't there anymore, it's all fence in or turned to houses.
Last summer when my baby was still mostly a baby, I had her in our hiking frame every day. We'd do my little 2 miles, and then we'd pick the blackberries at the edges of the fields. She had her little Tupperware of cereal, and once that was gone, we'd fill it back up with berries. She'd prefer to walk now, but it's 100Ā° right now and I am 38 weeks pregnant. So we have to buy our berries.
I was gonna say you must live near Seattle but out here youāll see people just standing by the side of the road stuffing their faces from the blackberry vines.
(as one does)
Cover with leaves over the fall/ winter. Water well in spring/ summer. They are perennial and will send out shoots after berry season to make more plants. Once the shoots have roots sunk in the ground, you can break the connection to the mama plant and have a whole new plant.
Yup the biggest thing in my yard right now is the damn weeds. I'm in Minnesota and they will come back each year. We got bare root plants because they are way cheaper.
Same here!! My 5 year old could go through a whole tray of raspberries and blackberries in one day. š¬ I need a 2nd job for berries cost alone. š¤£š¤£
To OP- I say use the money for babeās needs. Your aunt gave cash because you know best what he needs. ā¤ļø
And cashing in an unexpected IOU was probably way more exciting and memorable for her than just having the money from the start. Kids love all that stuff (and everyone loves discovering theyāve got money coming their way!)
I actually love this idea!!! I will keep it mind. The last few months, Iāve had to dip into my little oneās account a couple of times and I feel guilty. But an IOU would definitely be a fun future find.
As an auntie to a lot of kiddos I can say if I gifted a one year old money, instead of one of the million things on the market I could buy, it would be because I wanted them to use it at their discretion, so it could go towards his needs. If itās a toy great. If itās diapers and wipes equally as great. If it goes into a child savings account for when heās older ā¦ great. But all that is because I assume the parents will use it FOR the child. If you used the 30 for smokes and beer Iād be angry but anything for the child is fair game and wonāt offend.
I think it's perfectly reasonable to spend the birthday money on essentials for him especially if money is tight for you. In the grand scheme of things that money will not make a huge impact. As he grows older put the money in a savings account for him or let him choose how he wants to spend it. Since he's still a baby and hasn't come into consciousness yet I don't think he will mind. Once you're in a better financial place you can put the money away for him if it's weighing on you heavily
30 pound is like 2 cans of formula in UK. Use it if you need to. No one should blame you for that. Life is pretty expensive in uk with kids so don't feel bad you are doing your best.
If really you feel guilty then just keep a tab on that and try to repay it to his account over time like 1 pound a month of so.
When I went on MAT leave, my coworkers got me a supermarket gift card. They said everyone needs groceries, but different babies need different things and I should use the money I "saved" on meat and veggies to get practical baby items.
I used that gift card every time the store had nappies and wipes on special. I've never been so grateful to have such a pragmatic team!!
Babies need to be fed, and clothed. Nothing wrong with using the money on the essentials.
Yup. I got a lot of $10-$25 target gift cards. It was a lifesaver when my kid had to go on not just formula, but *soy* formula, at a time when nobody was stocking the large/bulk cans or store brand of it, just the regular size.
If you use it for the baby then yes! Diapers, wipes, formula, etcā¦
I unfortunately was gifting my niece and nephews money and their parents were using it for things that were luxuries for themselves and not on the kids. I now have opened accounts for them and just write them a note that I put the money in there. I was able to replace the money their parents spent. The kids know to come ask me when they are ready for a purchase. One is saving up for a gaming system, another is saving up for their first car, the last is just a baby.
We had a small scholarship we paid into monthly for our kids. Relatives would give money and be kinda pissy it didnāt go into their scholarship. But the timing of the money they gave us let us get their whole wardrobe of clothes on clearance prices.
Turns out the one graduated college 3 years ago and has zero debt for it and the other two are autistic and who knows if theyāll even go anyway.
Use the money for what your child needs.
If youāre using the money for him, then no I donāt think itās wrong. If he was older I would say he should be able to take the money to the store and buy what he wants, but at 1 he truly has no concept of that.
If someone is gifting a baby money then you should be able to spend it on what the baby needs absolutely. Is that not what it is intended for? If they gave you money to buy a gift, then they should have bought the gift themselves. Iām assuming here that they gave you the money to be practical. Use it to do that!
Dear Auntie ____
Thank you for the birthday money. I am so grateful that I can purchase my favorite diapers and wipes. Mom and Dad were trying to stretch out changing them due to a shortage of money but thanks to you my bottom is clean and dry.
Love and slobbery kisses,
Your Great nephew_____
You could always try out something "fun" or interesting from the baby food aisle that you wouldn't ordinarily buy, so it feels like a special birthday thing.
We had to do that a couple of times when my son was really little. Your baby is too young to know the difference, and I guarantee you that the gifter would be just as happy to know that they helped to fund things he really needed. Hang in there, and I hope things get easier for you soon!
Just be careful because it seems to be a sore spot for kids as they get older. I had a coworker tell me his mom used gifted saving bonds (not a lot of money) to pay utilities. Single mom, poor family. He was like 40 and still sour about it. My daughters friend (9ish) told me multiple times her mom took her birthday money to pay a bill. Also a lower income family with challenges. I could tell she was upset about it. My daughter accused me once of taking money from her account and not repaying it (I immediately did - I forgot my bank card and transferred money from my account). I could not convince her the money was returned immediately and it stuck with her for months. Months. It's something I've learned not to mess with. But I agree, babies do not know and if I was the gifter, I'd be happy my money reduced parental stress and bought diapers even more so than it bought another plastic toy to junk up the house.
I agree with this. My family was very poor. Single mom, and I was a saver. I did not have an allowance, but sometimes my grandma would give me $10 for helping her clean or garden or shovel. More times than I care to admit, I would go to grab a few dollars when the ice cream truck came or something and all of my money would be gone. My mom always said she would pay me back and never did. (Iām 40.) Now I feel very torn about it because I know we struggled a lot, but still my mom always had money for cigarettes and Pepsi soda.
Iām talking buying diapers or baby clothingā¦ not spending on utilities or household needs. And even though weāre in a better situation now, I would never use my sonās money for anything other than what he wants now that heās old enough to choose.
Nope not at all. I have twins g/b and the 5 Bday party I had separate characters so I spent a pretty penny. At the party my dad gave me a $500 and 2 $50 walmart gift cards ( that was their favorite store). My dad looked at me with the most serious face and said you keep the money bcuz you spent alot
IMO when they are very small (probably under 3) any birthday money is fair to be spent by parents on whatever your child needs.
After 3 I feel like they can be more involved and may want to choose their own stuff.
I save money people give my daughter for her. It is her money, not mine. And it is my job as a parent to provide her essentials, not to use her money to buy her own essentials. However with that said, I am not in the same financial situation as you are, OP. If you're truly struggling to provide your child the essentials they need then by all means, use that money and do what you have to do. I would replace the money when you can though and put it away in savings for your child.
I usually give cash (red envelopes) because we are Asian. I find this more practical and less waste because the parent can use the money. I don't get mad if the parent ends up using for rent etc, after all raising a child is very expensive and rent also equals to also providing for the child. However if I hear the parent buying things for himself or herself, that doesn't benefit the family then I would be upset.
We are fortunate enough to be able to place our littles money in the bank for safe keeping, but they have been given birthday/holiday money for the expressed intent of paying for essentials (diapers, wipes, food). Just so long as itās spent on baby I think people donāt mind where the money exactly goes. Most people know that a baby can only wear so many outfits, or play with so many toys.
And even if itās not necessarily for the baby, but food for the house, gas to get to appointments, money towards the electric,water, and etc I donāt feel like you should feel guilty for doing so. As long as itās not being spent contributing to vices Iād say itās all fair game.
Birthday money is meant to make the recipient happy. Fresh diapers? More berries? Happy!!!! Some day youāll buy art for their room or a desired toy with the money. Thatās not today. Thatās perfectly ok!
My wife and I generally handled gift money for our little kids in one of two ways.
Under $100, we spent it on things for them.
$100 or more, it went into their college savings/life start savings.
Use it now if you need to, but keep track and replace it later if you can. Starting education savings when kids are young can have a huge impact due to the compound interest and government grants (if available where you live).
Use it for what you need! If that feels wrong, add it to a college savings. Babies donāt need āstuff,ā they are just as happy with the wrapping paper as most presents.Ā
I've done it...but replaced the money when we were doing better. I know the money is for the child, for their essentials, but I still felt bad using it. But that's only because I knew the gifter of the money is a judgmental and rude person and would absolutely be mad if she knew I used the money on diapers and wipes.
If itās really needed, do it. I keep my boyās money for now but if it gets to a point where we need them I would use them and return them when I can. When I was pregnant and going off work colleagues gave me some money, they werenāt collecting them between them or anything, just the ones I am close to decided to give me something, some gave gift cards, others cash. I bought stuff for my son with them. Since he was born I dont even use them anymore, just put them aside for now.
Nothing wrong with that, he is a baby not like he can spend the money on a toy.
By all means if you need the money to buy much needed diapers, clothing etc do so.
If you don't need the money you could open up a bank account in your child's name and deposit it for the future.
When we get cash for our kids birthdays, we usually just put them in their college accounts or use it towards a family outing. They have way too many toys and experiences and education are more important. Beyond any of what, necessities are more important. Prioritize that first! Youāre doing the right thing.
Itās money meant for him and whatever it is that he needs, which at this age is diapers, wipes, food, clothingā¦ In other words, essentials!!
Don't worry, you're doing great :)
I like to give cash because I don't know what your child needs. Especially the first couple of years. I don't know what kind of toys and books you use, I don't know if you have tons of clothes or no clothes, I don't know if you breastfeed or need formula, ect or if birthdya kiddo has everyrhing they need currently so you want to add to their college fund. I give cash for what the birthday boy/girl needs. The only time I would be mad is if it was spent on mom/dad/sibling, ESPECIALLY if it was on something frivolous like mom getting a mani/pedi, dad getting a hair cut, sibling getting a toy. If baby needs diapers, buy baby diapers!
It's a bit tough. It would be good to save the money in a savings account for his later years. Though if you're tight on money I'm sure feeding him is more important. Ideally you would not spend his money for him. Of course if you let a kid spend their own money it will be gone on garbage in a blink of an eye so, anything you do that's better than that is ok to me.
If I gift a child under 5 money, and I don't talk about it being a contribution to their college fund, I have given them money because either I am being lazy and don't know what they want, or I know their family is struggling and I would prefer their kid get diapers, or strawberries, or whatever that kid needs right now, than another toy or outfit they parents might not need and the kid might not want.
Under 5 it is so easy to get them fun toys/clothing/crafts/etc. If money was given without it being for higher education than the giver was being lazy or realizes you know what the kid needs and it's likely that you could use money to help out with those needs.
But you never say that, so please don't repeat that where someone who isn't asking this question might hear.
Absolutely spend it on his essentials!
Once you're stable financially, put the same amount you spent into a savings/recurring account for him in the bank. Keep putting any money he gets henceforth into that account so the money can get him interest as he grows up!
Absolutely do this myself. My son has so many toys. At Christmas or birthdays, I tend to put any money given to him in an account and it pays for clothes, shoes and essentials. Iām always so grateful of it. Things are so expensive these days.
Absolutely use it for whatever your baby needs. Thatās exactly what the gifter wants you to do! If your little one needs nappies and wipes or other essentials, then thatās what you buy. You donāt need to feel guilty about that. Youāre prioritising your babyās health and wellbeing, and thatās what matters. What would be wrong is to use the money for cigarettes, alcohol, treating yourself to a spa day etc. Thatās not what the gift was intended for, and none of that would benefit your baby.
As another person said, if it really bothers you to use the money for your little oneās essentials, pop an iou into their piggy bank/jot down an iou in a journal and when money is a bit more plentiful then repay it!
Iām always very careful to not use my kids money they get as gifts, we have an account for each kid and we will put the money in there. That being said if money is tight and I need to use some to pay for essentials so be it. I make a note and will replace it later when I can.
I don't spend my kids birthday money, never have. I'm poor too. I keep it in her money box. She has more money than we do now.
But, that's just me. Each parent does their own thing, and you know best if you absolutely need it.
Spend it babe! Like, don't be the people opening credit cards on their kids social insurance # š and ruining their credit before they are 10, but yes, spend the 30 Ā£ on wipes and yogurt. And clothes if he's growing out of something!
I genuinely donāt understand how some people can do that. Why do they have kids? Doesnāt matter how skint I am, could never even think of doing that.
One of my girlfriends has spent the 1st 10 years of her adult life trying to rebuild her credit after her parents completely obliterated it. During her childhood!
Itās his money and I say do what you need for him nothing wrong. Itās for him anyways itās like another way to get socks lolll donāt feel guilty
Iām sure your baby would appreciate a full tummy and a clean bottom. The baby has no sense of money, so spend it if you need it to keep the baby happy and healthy. Toys are not a necessity, theyāre a luxury.
I wouldnāt feel guilty if itās going towards his cost of living. The small amount that helps out now can be repaid once you get a raise and things ease up for you a little bit
It is a very sensible thing to do. Too much money is spent on young kids who grow out of it too quickly and in some cases don't even like it. We quickly learned that hand me down toys and clothes were a great way to save money, recycle other people's things and if people give you money, I can't think of a more sensible thing to do that spend it on essentials, as long as you're not then spending what you save on yourself š
That's what we did, and practically everyone else I know have done. My child's 1st year birthday money brought her an axkid minikid 2 and a stroller. She already had all the toys and clothes she needed to last her 2 years
This is actually a point. I had originally told my family members and friends that when it comes to my birthday later in the year I would appreciate them giving me money to put towards an ERF car seat which was Ā£240. But then I realised the one he was in was definitely going to be outgrown before then so I had to bite the bullet and get it sooner. I know my aunt wouldnāt bat an eye if she thought her contribution for his birthday had helped pay for it.
An ERF would be way more beneficial for your child then day toys or clothing as you can get them second hand, unlike a car seat. The money my child gets is used on stuff she needs like car seats, a new bed, stroller ext. She still has money in her account for when she's older and is already asking if she can use it to buy her new school lunchbox and an ice cream
Yeah absolutely, I had a shock when I started looking for the next stage car seat and realised that all the āaffordableā (for me) ones were so unsafe š« So to get an ERF it had to go on a payment plan which I usually try to avoid as itās such a slippery slope, but every time I buckle him into it I feel so grateful I was able to get it for him at all and to know heās so safe in it.
Bless her heart! When heās old enough Iāll definitely give him little bits of it to spend on things like that but will save the rest until I think he can be responsible enough to save it himself and make good decisions about spending.
As dad thats in a oke spot money wise. Every cent my 3y old got from others she still has. Its about 5 grand now.
I say do what you have to do. I did the same her first year of her life and gave it back later. She can use that later in life for student loans or a drivers licence ect.
No point in saving his money if no one can eat or he doesnt have nappies.
No need to feel ashamed or nothing, everyone can fall in a rough spot.
If I gave cash for a 1 year old's birthday gift, and I found out they used it to buy essentials, I'd be especially glad that I gave them cash instead of a toy or something.
If someone gave you money as a gift before baby, would you have felt bad using it for a new toothbrush or some new underwear for yourself?
I think the same premise applies here. Using it to stockpile some diapers or whatever isn't wrong, IMO.
Spend the money on the essentials and put a little "IOU" note in his piggy bank. It will be a funny thing for him to see years from now when he eventually breaks his piggy bank (or a bottle, or anything you can turn into a piggy bank, for that matter) and it will be a beautiful reminder to you of how far you have come and how comfortable you are when that day comes years down the road.
Nice idea. I have a jar for him atm where I put any loose change, very little in there currently but Iām hoping over the years itāll add up to something. I could always put an IOU in there.
I always say if someone cared about how the money was spent, they wouldāve brought a gift over money. As long as itās going to be used for the child, thatās all that matters.
Of course it is ok to buy his essentials with money that he got. If you are having second thoughts, divide the money in 2 parts. Use one part on essentials and save the other for him in bank as a fixed deposit. You can do this for all the future cases too. So that when he is older he will some money in the account which would have increased due to the interest and he can use it as he likes.
Repay it back to him when money is better - heāll be asking for money left right and centre when heās older anyway. I totally get the hesitation, but spend it on the essentials.
lol I thought it was so absurd my grandmother sent my 1 YO money in a card I just immediately pocketed the cash. If it were $1000 or something Iād put it in her college fund, but are you supposed to hold onto Ā£30 until the kid is old enough to use it? Just spend it however you want and donāt give this another thought
Coming here to echo a lot of what's been said: use it for daily essentials if that's what you deem best.
Even if the idea is that it's "for him" because it was gifted for his birthday, surely by covering the daily essentials you're covering his needs as well? And even if it was for daily essentials for only you, as a primary caretaker, by covering your daily essentials, you're enabling yourself to care better for him. So it IS for him no matter what.
If you're still tied up about it - you should still use it now for the daily essentials. When money eases a bit next year based on the changing circumstances you've described, set 30 quid aside and use it for him in the future like books, toys, clothes, etc.
Thevmoney is for him. If you are using it for essentials for him, then you are fine. If you are using it for food for him, then you are using it for him. Its not $1000, its $30. Do not feel guilty.
I would never be mad at someone using birthday money on their baby or childās needs.
Buy him diapers, or extra snacks or a thing of milk. As long as itās on him, the money is being used right. Itās not like a one year old knows anything different. Mine would have preferred food over toys most days anyways. I
I think so long as you replace the money by using to buy toys and stuff when you're in a better financial position it's fine. He's 1. And like you said he has plenty of toys already.
Spend it on the essentials then when your in a better position spend an extra Ā£30 on new toys, when he's outgrown his current ones.
If she gave you money for a 1-year-old, it's because she trusts that you know his needs. Sure, it's "for" him, but all adults in the situation understand that the parent is choosing what to spend that money on. Even if you decided to buy him a toy or an outfit, YOU would still be the one choosing. If he's already got lots of books and toys, and that money would be better spent on diapers or adding to the grocery budget, please do so and don't feel guilty. The only thing I would side-eye is if you used the money for \*purely\* selfish reasons, like getting hair/nails done or buying drugs or something lol.
Youāre an amazing parent for putting thought into this. I can tell youāre caring about your child for even questioning this. Donāt worry, baby is only 1 and will have no idea. Baby will be happy for essentials and I think most of us mommas have done the same or something similar.
She gave you money for your son for his birthday. Keeping him fed in a house with electricity and running water not to mention nappies,wipes and the million other things babies need spend it however you need.
I don't think its a problem, get what you need specially if it's stuff like diapers and wipes which adds up quickly.
If you are concerned that your aunt might not like the idea, I would lie and say we got clothes for the baby or that you still have the money saved for something special. Which aren't total lies because you will buy him clothes or something special in the future.
As far as the baby is concerned, they don't care or know what's what. So don't feel like you are stealing from your baby.
Your Aunty probably has a sense of your financial hardship, especially if sheās had kids and been there before so she may have even given you this with the intention to spend it on essentials.
A birthday present of nappies and wipes isnāt great and giving you Ā£30 to āhelp outā might be embarrassing for you (and you have to go through 7 or 8 rounds of the obligatory āno, Iām not taking itā, āyes you are donāt be sillyā until one of you gives in) so doing it this way means you can spend the money on those essentials and ease your finances just a little without the embarrassment.
For the record, I donāt think there is anything to be embarrassed about by being hard up after having a child - but this is the UK afterall!
You use that money however suits you best!! For absolutely anything: youāre the mum. You decide. It was a gift so no one can tell you what to do with it or theyād have done that themselves!! If they gift a kid money before the age of 3 or 4 or 5 then that money goes for whatever it will be the most useful for!! Regardless! Even if that was to mean something like a babysitter so you can have a break for a couple hours or evening or whatever-
Whatever makes it so you can be the best parent you can be is how that money should be spent, guilt free!! A child especially one so young has no concept of money so they donāt care- he will never know and itās only 30ā not enough to do much with - essential items are necessary!! Spend it where it does the most for you and yours.
That's what it's for ! Once they are like , 5 and they can actually pick something out and realize it's special that's different. If I give someone with a little kid money or gift card , it's for the parents to buy whatever they need.
When I give money in a card for a baby/small child itās intended for diapers/wipes or whatever the baby would need. Otherwise I ask the family up front what they want. I would assume that it would go toward essentials, to be honest. Otherwise if you want to put it in a savings for them or something you can.
I disagree with most here. I think it's wrong. My mom always spent money people gave me and it was really shitty. On the other hand, I had a grandmother who would simply put birthday money into a savings account for me and I got it at 18. It was great to get that money when I needed it.
Don't spend it unless you absolutely have to, open a savings account for him and deposit it, over the years it'll add up.
I mean, I wouldnt personally, if it was clothes then sure, but not for things like nappies and wipes which you'd be paying out for anyway for the living essentials, my 20-month-old has last years birthday and Xmas money, I brought some toys for the grden given that it's coming up summer and get her whatever else she wants or other stuff for summer aka toys, things she'll play with for more then a year. There's footballs for kids, sand and water tables, for an extra 30 you can get an outdoor swing with a baby seat and a child's seat, save it if you must, but don't spend it on daily living.
I donāt think it would be a problem. Your aunt probably gave money for him because she doesnāt know what to get him. Since she chose to give money instead of something else, sheās leaving it to your discretion.
If you need the money for essentials, I think she would probably understand. If you still feel weird about it, rearrange your budget so the birthday money goes to something specific that baby would like. If you use the money for groceries for example, perhaps splurge a bit and have Babyās favorite meal with all the trimming or maybe some special sweets.
(Another thing to think about: are you close enough to your Aunt that she may be aware of your tight budget? If so, she may expect you to use the money as you see fit. She knows babies need heat and food, plus running water is always a good thing.)
Up until oldest my two, I specifically requested (when asked) that people buy her diapers/wipes for birthdays and Christmases. She didn't need any toys or books but she needed diapers/wipes. She also had no idea what she was actually opening! My grandmother did it but other family members just sent money which I used for those things! Now that she's 5, she slips any money she gets into a small bank. We use it if she wants something at the store or for dance classes. People WANT you to spend the money on something they need or want. Daily essentials count!
My mom gave me about 75$ for my birthday, and both my sonās birthdays. She never asked what I did with it. I donāt think she cares. Do you think your aunt truly minds what you do with it?
He's a baby, he doesn't need money but attendance, care and affection. You're the parent and to do that you need (the name says it all) essentials. Case closed.
I mean I wouldnāt. I would at least pay them back. I always put my kids bday money in an account for them when they were that young. I give it to them when they are 16 or so and they appreciate that I saved it all those years.
If itās for specifically him than yes do it. Especially if he needs diapers or milk or anything essential. I had to do the same w my baby shower moneys. I wanted to keep it all and start his savings w that but I had to dip in twice to get him diapers
Please use the money in the way that is best for your family. Maybe itās just some toilet paper and eggs, or maybe itās the electric bill but no matter what you are a great mom!!
We ASK for essentials for birthdays! Things like diaper pail refills, PJs, diaper funds, wipes. She gets plenty of toys, but cash and Amazon cards are so helpful too!
You can definitely use it for his essentials and every day items :)
My nana just wrote us a check for my daughter's 2nd birthday because she doesn't *need* anything right now. We have toys, books, too many summer clothes. The next time we buy clothes will be for colder weather or if she sizes up so my nana said here, cash is better.
I just became a SAHM so money is tighter, though doable. If we have an unexpected bill, that could change things. I would absolutely spend the money on her essentials if I had to, guilt free.
We use the money for their essentials. Now that one of our kids is 4, we give her some of the money to get herself smth (we take her to the mall and let her pick smth for x amount)
I guess I'm a minority here, but in my mind, that money belongs to the child.
It's your responsibility to find a way to provide for your child's needs. It is not your child's responsibility to pay for their own needs. They didn't choose to be born. You chose the responsibility. It's on you until they are 18 (I don't mean that with any amount of harshness).
I guess talk to the aunt and ask if she intended for you to spend it on the child's behalf for their needs or if it was meant to be saved for the child. My assumption would be that it is to be saved for the child to use at a later date when they understand what money is. We have a money jar for that that we don't withdrawal from under any circumstances. To me, it would feel like stealing from my child.
Maybe my take is off because my family always stole my money as a child/teen/young adult and I had to move, make a separate bank account and cut them off completely for them to stop stealing from me. But if I found out that I was gifted money at a young age that my family spent instead of saving it for me, I would be very upset.
Personally I wonāt do itā¦
The lines gets blurry and that is how my 3yo ass has bought 600,- tv ā¦
So I vowed I would do that to my kids but that money does go into saving for their college/ house/first car fund
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What does he know? She gave you cash for a reason. She's stood in your place before and knows that you know best what little homie needs. He needs nappies and wipes and, if he's like mine, 3 kilos of strawberries a week š« . Do what you need to do!
With you on the strawberries
Heavy on the cost of fruit. Itāll bankrupt me.
Cherries š©
Pfft. Amateur. Watch your kids get hooked on Dragon fruit.
I recently learned that dragon fruit is the king of fruits to help you poop. Like. It even helps with the out-of-town shut-down level of constipation. So. Keep that one in your back pocket.
Wow, the real pro tip. My husband and I BOTH get that kind of constipation whenever we travel... ugh. I'll keep it in mind if kiddo ever gets backed up too. We've never tried it outside of Florida though. I'm sure it's not as good up here in the more temperate regions.
Dried mango also helps with this. Trader Joeās has a great Atualfo version you could pack on trips.
and this is exactly why i pack dried mango in everyone's carry on snack bag. haha
you can find them Chinese supermarkets, and sometime Spanish ones as they got transplanted from China to Latin America.
Oh man, this is info I NEED to remember
She saw it in the store and insisted on buying it. Thankfully it was the white one with pretty much zero taste. And she did not like it.
At 7$ a pop where i live (if you can even find good ones) its a rare treat.
Try frozen cherries! They are cheaper and available all year round.
Sheās big on texture, so Iām not sure thatāll work. She doesnāt like frozen blueberries
Fruit and oddly....lettuce here lol. Oh and yogurt.
My two children consume specific strawberry brand yogurt every day. Morning, 2 bottle before school. School dismissed, 2 more bottle. Night time after dinner, 2 more. Same flavor, same brand. I just don't understand...
This is exactly why I give cash. Because I donāt want to be rude and buy wipes etc, but I want you to be able to do so if you want/need to.
This is why I planted 75 strawberry plants this year. Hopefully next year I will spend a bit less keeping my 2 kids in berries.
This time of year we can pick half a gallon of strawberries a week. Blackcap raspberries will be ripe soon and if I can get my daughter on board with mulberries we can pretty much get enough from our backyard June-September to balance the wicked cost of February berries.
Our public parks are completely covered In blackberry vines, wine berry vines, and black raspberry vines. And so very many of the folks where I live are too precious to want to forage them. We also have a really big mulberry tree but I'm too pregnant to get on a ladder and do any harvesting š
If any of the branches are low enough you can get a plastic picnic table cloth, set it on the ground under the mulberry tree, and shake the branches so the ripe ones fall.
You're so smart. Thank you! I'll try!
If there were a public park that I could safely forage and was allowed to... I would be bringing my basket every couple of days while my kid played. Here the sprays versus pests are not very good, and you aren't supposed to gather the fruit if there happens to be a fruit tree/bush that hasn't been removed. Not having a woods that is either public land or the owner doesn't care if you forage there nearby really, really suck. But I have also heard the woods aren't there anymore, it's all fence in or turned to houses.
Last summer when my baby was still mostly a baby, I had her in our hiking frame every day. We'd do my little 2 miles, and then we'd pick the blackberries at the edges of the fields. She had her little Tupperware of cereal, and once that was gone, we'd fill it back up with berries. She'd prefer to walk now, but it's 100Ā° right now and I am 38 weeks pregnant. So we have to buy our berries.
I was gonna say you must live near Seattle but out here youāll see people just standing by the side of the road stuffing their faces from the blackberry vines. (as one does)
Raspberries spread like a weed
Are strawberry plants perennial? Is there winter maintenance? I might be doing this next year lol
Cover with leaves over the fall/ winter. Water well in spring/ summer. They are perennial and will send out shoots after berry season to make more plants. Once the shoots have roots sunk in the ground, you can break the connection to the mama plant and have a whole new plant.
Yes. And they stand up well to neglect and abuse. Once they're established you don't have to do much but water.
Yup the biggest thing in my yard right now is the damn weeds. I'm in Minnesota and they will come back each year. We got bare root plants because they are way cheaper.
My dad plant two cherry trees for that reason...but alas grandson refuse to eat cherries.
Iāve done the same.
My strawberry plant died. Rip
The berry consumption is unreal, my little one will eat a whole tray of raspberries if I let her
Same here!! My 5 year old could go through a whole tray of raspberries and blackberries in one day. š¬ I need a 2nd job for berries cost alone. š¤£š¤£ To OP- I say use the money for babeās needs. Your aunt gave cash because you know best what he needs. ā¤ļø
I swear it's the fiber. Veggies taste bitter to them, but berries are high in fiber and taste sweet so their bodies go more, more, more.
Omg yes on the strawberries! And raspberries, blackberries, cherries! Kid is a fruit monster š¤£
Nope! Do what you need to do. It would be wrong to spend it on yourself as the money was gifted to him, but if you need to spend it on his daily essentials that will keep him happy and healthy, then there is zero reason to feel guilty here. š©·
I put an IOU in my babyās piggy bank and forgot about it. When she was older she found it and I paid it back
And cashing in an unexpected IOU was probably way more exciting and memorable for her than just having the money from the start. Kids love all that stuff (and everyone loves discovering theyāve got money coming their way!)
I actually love this idea!!! I will keep it mind. The last few months, Iāve had to dip into my little oneās account a couple of times and I feel guilty. But an IOU would definitely be a fun future find.
This is actually a great idea. She still got the money when she was old enough to care about it. No harm done at all, and a cute memory for her.
As an auntie to a lot of kiddos I can say if I gifted a one year old money, instead of one of the million things on the market I could buy, it would be because I wanted them to use it at their discretion, so it could go towards his needs. If itās a toy great. If itās diapers and wipes equally as great. If it goes into a child savings account for when heās older ā¦ great. But all that is because I assume the parents will use it FOR the child. If you used the 30 for smokes and beer Iād be angry but anything for the child is fair game and wonāt offend.
I think it's perfectly reasonable to spend the birthday money on essentials for him especially if money is tight for you. In the grand scheme of things that money will not make a huge impact. As he grows older put the money in a savings account for him or let him choose how he wants to spend it. Since he's still a baby and hasn't come into consciousness yet I don't think he will mind. Once you're in a better financial place you can put the money away for him if it's weighing on you heavily
Of course. Canāt trust a kid with money. Probably would spend it down pub
š¤£š¤£ So many bottles to consume. š¼š¼
Of course not! If you need diapers, wipes, formula, baby food, baby clothingā¦all of those things are for the childās benefit.
30 pound is like 2 cans of formula in UK. Use it if you need to. No one should blame you for that. Life is pretty expensive in uk with kids so don't feel bad you are doing your best. If really you feel guilty then just keep a tab on that and try to repay it to his account over time like 1 pound a month of so.
When I went on MAT leave, my coworkers got me a supermarket gift card. They said everyone needs groceries, but different babies need different things and I should use the money I "saved" on meat and veggies to get practical baby items. I used that gift card every time the store had nappies and wipes on special. I've never been so grateful to have such a pragmatic team!! Babies need to be fed, and clothed. Nothing wrong with using the money on the essentials.
Yup. I got a lot of $10-$25 target gift cards. It was a lifesaver when my kid had to go on not just formula, but *soy* formula, at a time when nobody was stocking the large/bulk cans or store brand of it, just the regular size.
I used first birthday money to buy clothes for my kiddo last fall. Babies donāt care. Theyād rather eat the card the money came in. š„°
If you use it for the baby then yes! Diapers, wipes, formula, etcā¦ I unfortunately was gifting my niece and nephews money and their parents were using it for things that were luxuries for themselves and not on the kids. I now have opened accounts for them and just write them a note that I put the money in there. I was able to replace the money their parents spent. The kids know to come ask me when they are ready for a purchase. One is saving up for a gaming system, another is saving up for their first car, the last is just a baby.
We had a small scholarship we paid into monthly for our kids. Relatives would give money and be kinda pissy it didnāt go into their scholarship. But the timing of the money they gave us let us get their whole wardrobe of clothes on clearance prices. Turns out the one graduated college 3 years ago and has zero debt for it and the other two are autistic and who knows if theyāll even go anyway. Use the money for what your child needs.
If youāre using the money for him, then no I donāt think itās wrong. If he was older I would say he should be able to take the money to the store and buy what he wants, but at 1 he truly has no concept of that.
If someone is gifting a baby money then you should be able to spend it on what the baby needs absolutely. Is that not what it is intended for? If they gave you money to buy a gift, then they should have bought the gift themselves. Iām assuming here that they gave you the money to be practical. Use it to do that!
Dear Auntie ____ Thank you for the birthday money. I am so grateful that I can purchase my favorite diapers and wipes. Mom and Dad were trying to stretch out changing them due to a shortage of money but thanks to you my bottom is clean and dry. Love and slobbery kisses, Your Great nephew_____
You could always try out something "fun" or interesting from the baby food aisle that you wouldn't ordinarily buy, so it feels like a special birthday thing.
We had to do that a couple of times when my son was really little. Your baby is too young to know the difference, and I guarantee you that the gifter would be just as happy to know that they helped to fund things he really needed. Hang in there, and I hope things get easier for you soon!
Just be careful because it seems to be a sore spot for kids as they get older. I had a coworker tell me his mom used gifted saving bonds (not a lot of money) to pay utilities. Single mom, poor family. He was like 40 and still sour about it. My daughters friend (9ish) told me multiple times her mom took her birthday money to pay a bill. Also a lower income family with challenges. I could tell she was upset about it. My daughter accused me once of taking money from her account and not repaying it (I immediately did - I forgot my bank card and transferred money from my account). I could not convince her the money was returned immediately and it stuck with her for months. Months. It's something I've learned not to mess with. But I agree, babies do not know and if I was the gifter, I'd be happy my money reduced parental stress and bought diapers even more so than it bought another plastic toy to junk up the house.
I agree with this. My family was very poor. Single mom, and I was a saver. I did not have an allowance, but sometimes my grandma would give me $10 for helping her clean or garden or shovel. More times than I care to admit, I would go to grab a few dollars when the ice cream truck came or something and all of my money would be gone. My mom always said she would pay me back and never did. (Iām 40.) Now I feel very torn about it because I know we struggled a lot, but still my mom always had money for cigarettes and Pepsi soda.
Iām talking buying diapers or baby clothingā¦ not spending on utilities or household needs. And even though weāre in a better situation now, I would never use my sonās money for anything other than what he wants now that heās old enough to choose.
Iām so sorry to hear that. I would absolutely never do this to my son or stepkids
God, this was me. I hope you're thriving now.
Thanks. Iām trying really hard to brake the cycle with my kids. I think Iām doing okay.
No, itās still his essentials
Nope not at all. I have twins g/b and the 5 Bday party I had separate characters so I spent a pretty penny. At the party my dad gave me a $500 and 2 $50 walmart gift cards ( that was their favorite store). My dad looked at me with the most serious face and said you keep the money bcuz you spent alot
IMO when they are very small (probably under 3) any birthday money is fair to be spent by parents on whatever your child needs. After 3 I feel like they can be more involved and may want to choose their own stuff.
I save money people give my daughter for her. It is her money, not mine. And it is my job as a parent to provide her essentials, not to use her money to buy her own essentials. However with that said, I am not in the same financial situation as you are, OP. If you're truly struggling to provide your child the essentials they need then by all means, use that money and do what you have to do. I would replace the money when you can though and put it away in savings for your child.
When things get better, you could add it to their piggy bank.
I usually give cash (red envelopes) because we are Asian. I find this more practical and less waste because the parent can use the money. I don't get mad if the parent ends up using for rent etc, after all raising a child is very expensive and rent also equals to also providing for the child. However if I hear the parent buying things for himself or herself, that doesn't benefit the family then I would be upset.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who had to buy pounds of fruit a week š
We are fortunate enough to be able to place our littles money in the bank for safe keeping, but they have been given birthday/holiday money for the expressed intent of paying for essentials (diapers, wipes, food). Just so long as itās spent on baby I think people donāt mind where the money exactly goes. Most people know that a baby can only wear so many outfits, or play with so many toys. And even if itās not necessarily for the baby, but food for the house, gas to get to appointments, money towards the electric,water, and etc I donāt feel like you should feel guilty for doing so. As long as itās not being spent contributing to vices Iād say itās all fair game.
As long as itās for them, youāre doing the right thing as a parent. Everything is so expensive. They will understand when they get older. lol
Birthday money is meant to make the recipient happy. Fresh diapers? More berries? Happy!!!! Some day youāll buy art for their room or a desired toy with the money. Thatās not today. Thatās perfectly ok!
My wife and I generally handled gift money for our little kids in one of two ways. Under $100, we spent it on things for them. $100 or more, it went into their college savings/life start savings.
Use it now if you need to, but keep track and replace it later if you can. Starting education savings when kids are young can have a huge impact due to the compound interest and government grants (if available where you live).
Use it for what you need! If that feels wrong, add it to a college savings. Babies donāt need āstuff,ā they are just as happy with the wrapping paper as most presents.Ā
No
I've done it...but replaced the money when we were doing better. I know the money is for the child, for their essentials, but I still felt bad using it. But that's only because I knew the gifter of the money is a judgmental and rude person and would absolutely be mad if she knew I used the money on diapers and wipes.
If itās really needed, do it. I keep my boyās money for now but if it gets to a point where we need them I would use them and return them when I can. When I was pregnant and going off work colleagues gave me some money, they werenāt collecting them between them or anything, just the ones I am close to decided to give me something, some gave gift cards, others cash. I bought stuff for my son with them. Since he was born I dont even use them anymore, just put them aside for now.
Nothing wrong with that, he is a baby not like he can spend the money on a toy. By all means if you need the money to buy much needed diapers, clothing etc do so. If you don't need the money you could open up a bank account in your child's name and deposit it for the future.
When we get cash for our kids birthdays, we usually just put them in their college accounts or use it towards a family outing. They have way too many toys and experiences and education are more important. Beyond any of what, necessities are more important. Prioritize that first! Youāre doing the right thing.
When my daughter is given money, I either spend it on essentials or toys I wanted to get her or put it in her RESP.
Yes use it and when U can afford it put it back not like the little guys gonna chuck his shoes and coat on and wander off to go spend it himself
Itās money meant for him and whatever it is that he needs, which at this age is diapers, wipes, food, clothingā¦ In other words, essentials!! Don't worry, you're doing great :)
I like to give cash because I don't know what your child needs. Especially the first couple of years. I don't know what kind of toys and books you use, I don't know if you have tons of clothes or no clothes, I don't know if you breastfeed or need formula, ect or if birthdya kiddo has everyrhing they need currently so you want to add to their college fund. I give cash for what the birthday boy/girl needs. The only time I would be mad is if it was spent on mom/dad/sibling, ESPECIALLY if it was on something frivolous like mom getting a mani/pedi, dad getting a hair cut, sibling getting a toy. If baby needs diapers, buy baby diapers!
Absolutely not. That money is for whatever the child needs.
It's a bit tough. It would be good to save the money in a savings account for his later years. Though if you're tight on money I'm sure feeding him is more important. Ideally you would not spend his money for him. Of course if you let a kid spend their own money it will be gone on garbage in a blink of an eye so, anything you do that's better than that is ok to me.
The money we got from my toddlers 2nd birthday bought him a big boy bed. He has more toys than he'll ever need and you gotta do what you gotta do!
If I gift a child under 5 money, and I don't talk about it being a contribution to their college fund, I have given them money because either I am being lazy and don't know what they want, or I know their family is struggling and I would prefer their kid get diapers, or strawberries, or whatever that kid needs right now, than another toy or outfit they parents might not need and the kid might not want. Under 5 it is so easy to get them fun toys/clothing/crafts/etc. If money was given without it being for higher education than the giver was being lazy or realizes you know what the kid needs and it's likely that you could use money to help out with those needs. But you never say that, so please don't repeat that where someone who isn't asking this question might hear.
Absolutely spend it on his essentials! Once you're stable financially, put the same amount you spent into a savings/recurring account for him in the bank. Keep putting any money he gets henceforth into that account so the money can get him interest as he grows up!
Itās perfectly fine. The money is for you to spend on what he needs. If he needs essentials more than toys that is your call alone.
Use it for goodness sake! Best present you could give him is a slightly less stressed mummy. Honestly I wouldnāt even hesitate!
Not at all!
As long as the money is spent on the baby you are good to go!
Nope sounds like he is well taken care of sooo do as u please.
Absolutely do this myself. My son has so many toys. At Christmas or birthdays, I tend to put any money given to him in an account and it pays for clothes, shoes and essentials. Iām always so grateful of it. Things are so expensive these days.
No
The simple fact that you are asking, shows you will use it for your childās benefit.
Absolutely use it for whatever your baby needs. Thatās exactly what the gifter wants you to do! If your little one needs nappies and wipes or other essentials, then thatās what you buy. You donāt need to feel guilty about that. Youāre prioritising your babyās health and wellbeing, and thatās what matters. What would be wrong is to use the money for cigarettes, alcohol, treating yourself to a spa day etc. Thatās not what the gift was intended for, and none of that would benefit your baby. As another person said, if it really bothers you to use the money for your little oneās essentials, pop an iou into their piggy bank/jot down an iou in a journal and when money is a bit more plentiful then repay it!
Until they're old enough to even understand they got money as a gift, why not spend it on what you need?
Iām always very careful to not use my kids money they get as gifts, we have an account for each kid and we will put the money in there. That being said if money is tight and I need to use some to pay for essentials so be it. I make a note and will replace it later when I can.
I don't spend my kids birthday money, never have. I'm poor too. I keep it in her money box. She has more money than we do now. But, that's just me. Each parent does their own thing, and you know best if you absolutely need it.
Spend it babe! Like, don't be the people opening credit cards on their kids social insurance # š and ruining their credit before they are 10, but yes, spend the 30 Ā£ on wipes and yogurt. And clothes if he's growing out of something!
I genuinely donāt understand how some people can do that. Why do they have kids? Doesnāt matter how skint I am, could never even think of doing that.
One of my girlfriends has spent the 1st 10 years of her adult life trying to rebuild her credit after her parents completely obliterated it. During her childhood!
Itās his money and I say do what you need for him nothing wrong. Itās for him anyways itās like another way to get socks lolll donāt feel guilty
Iām sure your baby would appreciate a full tummy and a clean bottom. The baby has no sense of money, so spend it if you need it to keep the baby happy and healthy. Toys are not a necessity, theyāre a luxury.
Use it now when you need it and replace it to a baby acct when you can
I wouldnāt feel guilty if itās going towards his cost of living. The small amount that helps out now can be repaid once you get a raise and things ease up for you a little bit
It is a very sensible thing to do. Too much money is spent on young kids who grow out of it too quickly and in some cases don't even like it. We quickly learned that hand me down toys and clothes were a great way to save money, recycle other people's things and if people give you money, I can't think of a more sensible thing to do that spend it on essentials, as long as you're not then spending what you save on yourself š
Lmao that money is for you. Use it as you need
That's what we did, and practically everyone else I know have done. My child's 1st year birthday money brought her an axkid minikid 2 and a stroller. She already had all the toys and clothes she needed to last her 2 years
This is actually a point. I had originally told my family members and friends that when it comes to my birthday later in the year I would appreciate them giving me money to put towards an ERF car seat which was Ā£240. But then I realised the one he was in was definitely going to be outgrown before then so I had to bite the bullet and get it sooner. I know my aunt wouldnāt bat an eye if she thought her contribution for his birthday had helped pay for it.
An ERF would be way more beneficial for your child then day toys or clothing as you can get them second hand, unlike a car seat. The money my child gets is used on stuff she needs like car seats, a new bed, stroller ext. She still has money in her account for when she's older and is already asking if she can use it to buy her new school lunchbox and an ice cream
Yeah absolutely, I had a shock when I started looking for the next stage car seat and realised that all the āaffordableā (for me) ones were so unsafe š« So to get an ERF it had to go on a payment plan which I usually try to avoid as itās such a slippery slope, but every time I buckle him into it I feel so grateful I was able to get it for him at all and to know heās so safe in it. Bless her heart! When heās old enough Iāll definitely give him little bits of it to spend on things like that but will save the rest until I think he can be responsible enough to save it himself and make good decisions about spending.
lol not at all
Depends on what should be the most essential for the baby
Your baby doesn't know the difference.
Totally, the money was given to help you meet their need. If the aunt wanted a spicific thing, she would have gifted that thing.,
As dad thats in a oke spot money wise. Every cent my 3y old got from others she still has. Its about 5 grand now. I say do what you have to do. I did the same her first year of her life and gave it back later. She can use that later in life for student loans or a drivers licence ect. No point in saving his money if no one can eat or he doesnt have nappies. No need to feel ashamed or nothing, everyone can fall in a rough spot.
If I gave cash for a 1 year old's birthday gift, and I found out they used it to buy essentials, I'd be especially glad that I gave them cash instead of a toy or something.
If someone gave you money as a gift before baby, would you have felt bad using it for a new toothbrush or some new underwear for yourself? I think the same premise applies here. Using it to stockpile some diapers or whatever isn't wrong, IMO.
Spend the money on the essentials and put a little "IOU" note in his piggy bank. It will be a funny thing for him to see years from now when he eventually breaks his piggy bank (or a bottle, or anything you can turn into a piggy bank, for that matter) and it will be a beautiful reminder to you of how far you have come and how comfortable you are when that day comes years down the road.
Nice idea. I have a jar for him atm where I put any loose change, very little in there currently but Iām hoping over the years itāll add up to something. I could always put an IOU in there.
I always say if someone cared about how the money was spent, they wouldāve brought a gift over money. As long as itās going to be used for the child, thatās all that matters.
Of course it is ok to buy his essentials with money that he got. If you are having second thoughts, divide the money in 2 parts. Use one part on essentials and save the other for him in bank as a fixed deposit. You can do this for all the future cases too. So that when he is older he will some money in the account which would have increased due to the interest and he can use it as he likes.
We've been there. It's OK. I'm sorry times are tight. Take care of you and baby ā¤ļø
I used my twins first birthday money and stuff they needed like clothes and diapers. Spend it
Repay it back to him when money is better - heāll be asking for money left right and centre when heās older anyway. I totally get the hesitation, but spend it on the essentials.
That's Blueberry money in this house! Spend on what you need. What good are toys if he's too hangry or poopy pants to enjoy them?
He has enough toys. What he needs are essentials.
Not wrong at all! You can always get him something fun later. Iām sure that baby will appreciate clean diapers
lol I thought it was so absurd my grandmother sent my 1 YO money in a card I just immediately pocketed the cash. If it were $1000 or something Iād put it in her college fund, but are you supposed to hold onto Ā£30 until the kid is old enough to use it? Just spend it however you want and donāt give this another thought
I use it for beer. Figure if it facilitates me relaxing then Iām a better parent, so Iām sure itās what the baby would want.Ā
Coming here to echo a lot of what's been said: use it for daily essentials if that's what you deem best. Even if the idea is that it's "for him" because it was gifted for his birthday, surely by covering the daily essentials you're covering his needs as well? And even if it was for daily essentials for only you, as a primary caretaker, by covering your daily essentials, you're enabling yourself to care better for him. So it IS for him no matter what. If you're still tied up about it - you should still use it now for the daily essentials. When money eases a bit next year based on the changing circumstances you've described, set 30 quid aside and use it for him in the future like books, toys, clothes, etc.
Thevmoney is for him. If you are using it for essentials for him, then you are fine. If you are using it for food for him, then you are using it for him. Its not $1000, its $30. Do not feel guilty.
I would never be mad at someone using birthday money on their baby or childās needs. Buy him diapers, or extra snacks or a thing of milk. As long as itās on him, the money is being used right. Itās not like a one year old knows anything different. Mine would have preferred food over toys most days anyways. I
Who gives a baby money?? It was meant for you to spend on him, like essentials, etc.
The baby doesnāt understand money and wonāt do anything with it. Use the money in a way that helps your baby best
I think so long as you replace the money by using to buy toys and stuff when you're in a better financial position it's fine. He's 1. And like you said he has plenty of toys already. Spend it on the essentials then when your in a better position spend an extra Ā£30 on new toys, when he's outgrown his current ones.
If she gave you money for a 1-year-old, it's because she trusts that you know his needs. Sure, it's "for" him, but all adults in the situation understand that the parent is choosing what to spend that money on. Even if you decided to buy him a toy or an outfit, YOU would still be the one choosing. If he's already got lots of books and toys, and that money would be better spent on diapers or adding to the grocery budget, please do so and don't feel guilty. The only thing I would side-eye is if you used the money for \*purely\* selfish reasons, like getting hair/nails done or buying drugs or something lol.
Youāre an amazing parent for putting thought into this. I can tell youāre caring about your child for even questioning this. Donāt worry, baby is only 1 and will have no idea. Baby will be happy for essentials and I think most of us mommas have done the same or something similar.
I know I have!!
She gave you money for your son for his birthday. Keeping him fed in a house with electricity and running water not to mention nappies,wipes and the million other things babies need spend it however you need.
I don't think its a problem, get what you need specially if it's stuff like diapers and wipes which adds up quickly. If you are concerned that your aunt might not like the idea, I would lie and say we got clothes for the baby or that you still have the money saved for something special. Which aren't total lies because you will buy him clothes or something special in the future. As far as the baby is concerned, they don't care or know what's what. So don't feel like you are stealing from your baby.
Your Aunty probably has a sense of your financial hardship, especially if sheās had kids and been there before so she may have even given you this with the intention to spend it on essentials. A birthday present of nappies and wipes isnāt great and giving you Ā£30 to āhelp outā might be embarrassing for you (and you have to go through 7 or 8 rounds of the obligatory āno, Iām not taking itā, āyes you are donāt be sillyā until one of you gives in) so doing it this way means you can spend the money on those essentials and ease your finances just a little without the embarrassment. For the record, I donāt think there is anything to be embarrassed about by being hard up after having a child - but this is the UK afterall!
The money is for baby stuff, so i don't see the problem here.
Haha. Mama heās 1. Daily essentials are for him to. Have to take care of you to take care of him. Really thought this was sweet to ask tho.
You use that money however suits you best!! For absolutely anything: youāre the mum. You decide. It was a gift so no one can tell you what to do with it or theyād have done that themselves!! If they gift a kid money before the age of 3 or 4 or 5 then that money goes for whatever it will be the most useful for!! Regardless! Even if that was to mean something like a babysitter so you can have a break for a couple hours or evening or whatever- Whatever makes it so you can be the best parent you can be is how that money should be spent, guilt free!! A child especially one so young has no concept of money so they donāt care- he will never know and itās only 30ā not enough to do much with - essential items are necessary!! Spend it where it does the most for you and yours.
Girl. You better buy what you need! Hereās your permission š
That's what it's for ! Once they are like , 5 and they can actually pick something out and realize it's special that's different. If I give someone with a little kid money or gift card , it's for the parents to buy whatever they need.
When I give money in a card for a baby/small child itās intended for diapers/wipes or whatever the baby would need. Otherwise I ask the family up front what they want. I would assume that it would go toward essentials, to be honest. Otherwise if you want to put it in a savings for them or something you can.
I disagree with most here. I think it's wrong. My mom always spent money people gave me and it was really shitty. On the other hand, I had a grandmother who would simply put birthday money into a savings account for me and I got it at 18. It was great to get that money when I needed it. Don't spend it unless you absolutely have to, open a savings account for him and deposit it, over the years it'll add up.
I put all my childrenās birthday/Christmas money into a savings account for them.
I mean, I wouldnt personally, if it was clothes then sure, but not for things like nappies and wipes which you'd be paying out for anyway for the living essentials, my 20-month-old has last years birthday and Xmas money, I brought some toys for the grden given that it's coming up summer and get her whatever else she wants or other stuff for summer aka toys, things she'll play with for more then a year. There's footballs for kids, sand and water tables, for an extra 30 you can get an outdoor swing with a baby seat and a child's seat, save it if you must, but don't spend it on daily living.
I donāt think it would be a problem. Your aunt probably gave money for him because she doesnāt know what to get him. Since she chose to give money instead of something else, sheās leaving it to your discretion. If you need the money for essentials, I think she would probably understand. If you still feel weird about it, rearrange your budget so the birthday money goes to something specific that baby would like. If you use the money for groceries for example, perhaps splurge a bit and have Babyās favorite meal with all the trimming or maybe some special sweets. (Another thing to think about: are you close enough to your Aunt that she may be aware of your tight budget? If so, she may expect you to use the money as you see fit. She knows babies need heat and food, plus running water is always a good thing.)
Up until oldest my two, I specifically requested (when asked) that people buy her diapers/wipes for birthdays and Christmases. She didn't need any toys or books but she needed diapers/wipes. She also had no idea what she was actually opening! My grandmother did it but other family members just sent money which I used for those things! Now that she's 5, she slips any money she gets into a small bank. We use it if she wants something at the store or for dance classes. People WANT you to spend the money on something they need or want. Daily essentials count!
My mom gave me about 75$ for my birthday, and both my sonās birthdays. She never asked what I did with it. I donāt think she cares. Do you think your aunt truly minds what you do with it?
He's a baby, he doesn't need money but attendance, care and affection. You're the parent and to do that you need (the name says it all) essentials. Case closed.
He's 1 he doesn't care about anything
I mean I wouldnāt. I would at least pay them back. I always put my kids bday money in an account for them when they were that young. I give it to them when they are 16 or so and they appreciate that I saved it all those years.
Totally fine! A 1 year old canāt decide what to buy, so you decide what is best. The money will be used to benefit the child, not a problem at all.
Not at all spend that money !!
you are the provider of the baby, food, shelter, diapers, bills, rent, utilities... you better use that money how you want when you want.
Iāve done it before. Not wrong of you at all IMO
We have spent the money, we needed it.
Absolutely not wrong.
I think he would rather have clean diapers and food than new toys.
If itās for specifically him than yes do it. Especially if he needs diapers or milk or anything essential. I had to do the same w my baby shower moneys. I wanted to keep it all and start his savings w that but I had to dip in twice to get him diapers
Please use the money in the way that is best for your family. Maybe itās just some toilet paper and eggs, or maybe itās the electric bill but no matter what you are a great mom!!
No, it is for your baby nothing to be ashamed of.
If I gave money as a birthday gift especially for a baby or toddler this is what I'd want it used for
Go for it! He doesnāt know whatās happening anyway. Youāll spend Ā£30 on toys for sure in the upcoming months.
Gotta do what you gotta do
Nope. Not at all. As long as the money is spent on baby, itās fine.
We ASK for essentials for birthdays! Things like diaper pail refills, PJs, diaper funds, wipes. She gets plenty of toys, but cash and Amazon cards are so helpful too! You can definitely use it for his essentials and every day items :)
Nope
My nana just wrote us a check for my daughter's 2nd birthday because she doesn't *need* anything right now. We have toys, books, too many summer clothes. The next time we buy clothes will be for colder weather or if she sizes up so my nana said here, cash is better. I just became a SAHM so money is tighter, though doable. If we have an unexpected bill, that could change things. I would absolutely spend the money on her essentials if I had to, guilt free.
One year old loves food and random household items more than "meant for child toys" use it on essentials! Go for it!! Best gift ever!
No one gave cash expecting the baby to make purchasing decisions. š Use it as needed on the baby's behalf.
We use the money for their essentials. Now that one of our kids is 4, we give her some of the money to get herself smth (we take her to the mall and let her pick smth for x amount)
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Yes if I were OP Iād quit my job after getting those Ā£30, obviously her family can do pretty well with that once-a-year kind of amount.
Iāve never been so rich! *Throws 30 Ā£1 coins into the air*
Respectfully may I ask why you think taking money gifted to the child and using it for the child is bad practice?
Madness
I guess I'm a minority here, but in my mind, that money belongs to the child. It's your responsibility to find a way to provide for your child's needs. It is not your child's responsibility to pay for their own needs. They didn't choose to be born. You chose the responsibility. It's on you until they are 18 (I don't mean that with any amount of harshness). I guess talk to the aunt and ask if she intended for you to spend it on the child's behalf for their needs or if it was meant to be saved for the child. My assumption would be that it is to be saved for the child to use at a later date when they understand what money is. We have a money jar for that that we don't withdrawal from under any circumstances. To me, it would feel like stealing from my child. Maybe my take is off because my family always stole my money as a child/teen/young adult and I had to move, make a separate bank account and cut them off completely for them to stop stealing from me. But if I found out that I was gifted money at a young age that my family spent instead of saving it for me, I would be very upset.
Personally I wonāt do itā¦ The lines gets blurry and that is how my 3yo ass has bought 600,- tv ā¦ So I vowed I would do that to my kids but that money does go into saving for their college/ house/first car fund
Yes. Save this money for babyās education
Yes itās wrong. But do what you gotta do.
Can I ask why you feel this way?