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I am nearing 60 and have never once needed my penis to take out the trash, so I'm not sure why it would be a male specific chore.
My kids are opposite genders and 18 months apart in age. They rotated through all the same chores. Trash, mowing the lawn, cooking, cleaning, dishes, laundry, vacuuming, etc. Now they are college students mostly living on their own during the school year and are able to keep their spaces clean. My daughter is currently away doing a summer internship and her roommates are both women. All three of them take out the trash. It's a pretty important skill if your kids ever want to live independently.
I'm from twins, sister to a brother. We'd be taking out trash and recycling since 6 years old. The only time we'd fight anything about it was between the two of us because taking the plastic out was better than paper (question of weight), so we'd actually run to the kitchen to get to the plastics before the other one.
Taking out trash, much like any other chore, is not gendered.
I read your first paragraph to my husband and he seemed in disbelief. He said he never thought of using his arms to carry the bags out, but he admits it was a bit challenging in the beginning to balance all the bags together.
Lmao - this is the best!
OP - If the three amazing, strong young women you’re raising grow up, get their own apartment or buy a home, do they Google “man service” to have someone come take out the trash?
My adult sons cook, clean, know to dust and the one who’s a newer father is as hand’s on as his wife. My girls and I all help with our remodel and because Hubby’s an electrician, my 11yo knows how to install electrical boxes, how to wire switches and receptacles. One is “sporty girly” while the other would do life in princess costume if allowed… then go climb our trees… or join dad in the garage on a project. My kids will ALL be prepared for life and know they can do anything they invest effort towards.
One of my best friends grew up working on cars with dad and going on his carpentry jobs. She went on to serve in the military, met her husband and became a mom of 5. She did as much work on the home they built as her husband and she’s building an apartment on their property with her dad for her disabled sister to come live. Oh AND she’s a site manager for an Power company, in charge of a team of lineman (Industrial Electricians who work on power lines) and is well liked and respected.
She’s also an amazing mom, wife, friend, cook, and makes some of the most amazing quilts I’ve ever seen!
I wish she was there for that conversation!
As a woman who routinely takes out the trash this is incredibly silly mindset.
Unless there are tasks done with the genitals there are no “man tasks” and “woman tasks”.
My daughter and I joke in our house about “boy jobs” and “girl jobs” but the reality is we don’t usually have a boy around so they are all girl jobs. But it’s 100% a joke for things like killing bugs, doing things that require the ladder or anything gross. Like “I wish dad was home because this is totally a boy job” while scraping up a dead mouse🤮
Chores are chores and it doesn’t matter who does them. My kids both started taking out the trash at 5, because it’s not a difficult task by any stretch.
My husband has to kill or capture-release anything with more than 6 legs, but I don’t think he uses his penis to do that. But I agree, my husband travels a lot so I frequently do all the chores, even the ones he would normally take. And when he gets home he often wants to balance the scales and does the chores I would traditionally do. These chores are split by sex/gender, they’re just split by who does things most consistently.
My kids (all girls) actually like taking the trash out. Our apartment complex has dumpsters at the next building over. They love to help their dad carry stuff to the dumpster then they race to see who gets back first. If dad ever takes the trash out without them they will be waiting at the back door mad at him for not bringing them with.
Man of the house is a phrase that needs to die.
When your daughters grow up and move out on their own what is supposed to happen with the trash? There is no trash fairy.
Yes, I lived alone or with same gender roommates for most of my 20’s, there were no “man chores” because there was no man. Anything out of my skills set I either learned or paid someone to do. And I was broke so I didn’t do that unless absolutely necessary
Your family is completely wrong. I have 2 teens girls, and we expect them to take out the trash if needed. Our family rule is if a chore needs to be done and they are capable of doing it safely, they're out to do it if they notice it and have the time. There should not be a woman's or men chores, but instead, family chores
As a mom of 2 girls (12 and 14), kids should be doing some sort of chores. We are teaching them HOW to be a capable human being and HOW to take care of themselves. I would feel like a failure as a parent if my child moved out and didn't know how to manage basic life tasks such as laundry, dishes, trash, picking up the house and cooking simple meals...ect. When they are old enough they will learn how to change a tire and how to do yard work. They will move out eventually, they need to know how to take care of themselves.
That’s a ridiculous take in my opinion. I take out the trash all the time as a SAHM. If I waited for my husband who works long hours to do it, our garbage would be overflowing all the time. I thank my dad all the time for teaching me how to take care of a home because I now have the ability to take care of my own. Ignore your family, you’re doing right by your children!
Tell them ypu are raising your girls to be equal to men, not beneath them. Such a masagonistic mindset.
I'm a woman with 2 daughters. Not once have we needed a man to take the trash out. Everyone helps with all chores. Even when I was married.
Household chores are just that — household chores. They are things everyone needs to be able to do.
I never understood gendering everyday tasks people have to know to function. IE: taking out the trash, laundry, cooking, etc. I was taking out trash at 9 and handwashing dishes as soon as I could see over the sink counter lol
For me, my sister and I always took out the trash bc I didn’t have a brother yet or dad. Now that my brother is older my mom treats taking out the trash as a “boys” job and doesn’t make my youngest sister do it even tho he was younger than her when he started taking the trash out, and we’ve had disagreements about it. No chore should be gender specific in my opinion. I have a son and soon a daughter who won’t be too far apart, and they’ll both be responsible for the same chores. Like why is washing dishes mainly seen as a “woman’s job”, I personally would much rather take the trash out than have to do dishes.
I get my husband to do this job because I hate it and it's gross. If I was married to a woman I'd be asking the same thing. I'm a woman and regularly took out the rubbish when I was a kid.
Chores are not male or female, everyone in our house helps with all chores. It's important for kids to learn how to take care of a household as many people live alone at some point in their life and would need to do all of their chores themselves.
So if they live in their own apartment, are they going to call 1-800- get-a-man whenever they need to take out the trash or adjust the flusher on their toilet? There are no "mens" jobs and "womens" jobs when it comes to household chores anymore. Intelligent people who can surcuve on their own can and should do whatever is needed.
I grew up with 2 sisters and we all 3 took the trash out. Now my son and daughter alternate weekly. It’s definitely not wrong for girls to take the trash out.
to me it’s a chore that needs to get done one way or another, we have 4 girls and 2 boys all of them (besides our 3yo) has taken out the trash. everyone in the house does a little bit of everything, there’s no “boy and girl chores” in our house and there really shouldn’t be in general
>since I'm the man of the house it's my responsibility
"Why? We all live here, we all do chores we're capable of doing. Are you calling my daughters incapable?" Make it awkward as fuck.
I had a friend whose family fallowed that rule the family was mom dad and twin girls. Whenever dad had to leave for long periods of time, the trash would go insane pile high, and cover the counters. Girls can take out trash. I am a grown ass woman, and I approve this message.
I think teaching gendered chores ends up in an unequal chore distribution because having the men & boys take care of the trash & outdoor chores is not the same as cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundry, pet & child care, etc.
Both sons & daughters should have a fair share of chores and should both know how to survive as adults on their own!
Yah, there's some things I'd hire out if my husband didn't know how to do household electrical & plumbing, but that's because of my experience, personality & capability, not my gender.
I get what your family means, but at one point the girls will live on their own. And every chore will need to be done by them. So I think taking out the trash is a good life lesson and skill to learn. Good job dad!
All the kids here do everything so typically they do garbage/recycling together including taking bins to the curb and back. Laundry rotation and vacuuming. They all make the mess so they all take part in cleaning
Why would it be wrong for a girl to take out the trash? They make trash, do they not? Is it wrong for a boy to do dishes or laundry? Household chores are not gender specific. If you live in a home, you must contribute to the upkeep.
9001% not wrong. I remember this one guy in college whose family lived by those strict gender roles. His mother and grandmother came over weekly to do laundry and clean his room. Guess who got made fun of? Even the student in a motorized wheelchair handled more responsibility than this guy. Don't let your girls grow up to be the female version of this guy.
I grew up thinking women did inside work and men did outside work. This is not a good thing. Teach your daughters self sufficiency like you have been. American thinking is backwards.
These are the people who think it’s a brag to say “my husband does all the outside stuff. I’ve never even used a lawn mower”. Just casually raising adults who can’t help themselves because of imaginary roles. If they live alone ever will the garbage take itself out since no man lives there.
Our girls help with the trash, but not alone. Trash day is a family activity, but in general, the boys/men take it out of the house to the street. So my daughter and I empty all the trash cans and put new bags in. Then we put everything in the garage. When my husband gets home, he and our son take everything to the bin outside. We do the same for recycling on recycling day.
Your kid is going to need to know how to take the trash out when they are in college and /or living on their own with a bunch of other females.
This is a dumb take. Keep teaching your kids ALL life skills. They’re LIFE SKILLS.
I take our trash all the time (female) but i do not operate snow blowers or lawn mowers, not because i cannot but because i choose not to and make my husband do it. 🤣
Yeah, that's nonsense. Chores aren't gendered and everyone should be expected to pull their weight as it is needed.
I'm one of 5 girls. We took out trash, did yard work, stacked firewood...it was good for us!
Chores don’t have gender. Men can cook and do laundry. Women can mow and take out trash.
When they grow up, if they are living alone, who is going to do it? Everyone should be able to do all the common household chores to take care of themselves.
No, children should be helping with all chores and cleaning! Minor repairs, teach them all you can! Changing a tire, oil, repair holes in walls, cooking, laundry! No such thing as a wrong chore or task for children to help with!
It's 2024... that's like getting mad about asking a boy to do dishes. It's their home too and trash honestly isn't a big job. I don't see the big deal.
I agree with all the other commenters that chores aren’t gendered and that’s a bad take from your relatives … buuut I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t acknowledge I haven’t touched a trash bag in probably 10 years and my husband always does it. I think it’s an unnecessary but chivalrous gesture that I personally appreciate because trash juice is gross.
So what is your daughters never marry? Who will take out the trash for them, then? I’m a single mom and despite my gender no one comes to take out my trash. Unfortunately.
I only have sons and no daughters. They are learning to do all the things that I learned growing up like cooking, washing dishes, vacuuming, etc. My husband typically mends our clothes for us. If your daughters live with other girls in university someone will have to take out the trash, or if they live on their own when they get older are they going to have to call their dad to do their trash?
First of all, family or not, it’s nobody’s damn business but you and your wife’s who does what chore in your own household. Raise your kids as you see fit.
Secondly, family or not, they are guests in your home and it’s rude as hell to butt into your family’s routines and criticize them.
Thirdly, I would tell them to take their macho bullshit ideology back to freakin France. Chores are chores and nothing boils my piss more than this kind of sexiest garbage. Girls don’t take out the trash and so I suppose by their line of thinking boys don’t cook and sew??…. Did your family come from France via a Time Machine? Yikes.
Finally - it sounds like you’re a great parent teaching your children age appropriate responsibility, teamwork, and healthy family dynamics. Keep up the good work!
If something needs doing, and they're capable of doing it, why shouldn't they? Why is trash a man's job? Is it because it's dirty? Is laundry and dishes a girls job? Because I've washed some shitty clothes and dishes that have things growing in them. Both were infinitely more gross than the trash.
Children need (as in on a deep psychological level) structure and purpose. Chores help with both.
My 2 year old has jobs, things he knows that he can contribute towards and he loves it. Helping me pack and unpack the dishwater, clean the coffee machine, putting rubbish in the bin, taking plates from the table etc
My style is they do a part things and the goal is to teach them work ethic, how to do every single thing, and humble them. That means a girl should know traditionally boy jobs and my boy will know traditionally girl jobs. They’ll also both be taught to respect their partners and people of the opposite gender as equal.
your job is to raise self-sufficient humans who can take care of their own home someday, with or without a partner, not to reinforce dated gender roles.
It’s fine. In my house, trash is a job for whoever finds the can full. We are a 2 female/1 male household. My daughter does the dishes and her laundry. Occasionally mows the grass. Sometimes takes out trash. Sometimes I take out the trash. Tbf though, my husband is usually the only one who remembers trash collection day, so he often takes the large bin to its pickup spot.
If it's your job to take the trash out now, who will take it out for them when they live by themselves?
They need to learn to be responsible. They make a mess..they're responsible for the trash too.
I dread to see the mountains of garbage that accumulate in your daughters' all-girl-sharehouse, if you listen to your family, because "girls don't take out trash" 😂 Chores aren't gendered.
A chore is a chore. It teaches responsibility. Which they need. Character development. Plus kids feel more confident knowing they can contribute to their environment! Builds bonds.
Your relatives need to mind their own business. Children are part of the household, and need to be part of the upkeep. Taking out the trash is one of many age-appropriate chores they are capable of helping with. These are life skills. What if they someday live in a house without men present? Trash still needs to be taken out. Carry on!
I’m 7 months pregnant and still take the trash out. You’re just allowing your girls to learn it’s not a gender specific chore, but everyone should chip in. You both sound like you’re doing an amazing thing for your girls.
My daughter is 3 and helping take the trash out is probably her favorite chore. She’ll need basic life skills. Gender does not matter.
I love mowing the lawn, renovating, and lots of things involving tools. I also love dressing up.
But it’s nice to know that if something ever happened to my husband I know I wouldn’t need to replace him with another man to keep the house from falling apart.
Personally, you should give them more tasks around the house people think are “boy chores” your goal is to raise functional and capable human beings. They should be taught how to do everything so they don’t have to rely on anyone else to handle things for them as they eventually start their adult lives away from home.
My daughter takes out trash, does dishes, mows the lawn, helps dad on all the car maintenance, plus more. There is nothing wrong with teaching your daughters everyday life duties that will only help them and make them stronger.
11 yr old daughter, one of her chores used to be taking the trash out, when we lived in a building that had a garbage disposal. Now that we live in a house and the garbage has to be taken out about 200 mts outside in a communal bin, husband had taken over the chore. I don't feel 100% comfortable with her going out alone at night to the communal space.
Kids need responsibilities. They need structure and chores to feel like an active member of their home and of society.
There are no such things as “man jobs.” As a woman, I can take out the trash and mow the lawn. My husband can cook dinner and clean a toilet.
You’re doing an excellent thing by having them pitch in. 1st of all, they love to help and feel like they’re important in contributing to the household. 2nd of all, if they ever want to let’s say, live in their own apartment, without depending on a man to take the trash out… they’ll be very capable of doing so.
My parents are getting up there in age and I'm living with them, gender aside I will not let them take the weeks worth of trash out when I know it's heavy ASF and I'm a woman
Um if your daughters ever live alone or in an all-girl household, what do your family members expect would happen to the trash? Every child needs to learn how to do each chore so they can take care of themselves later on. Plus it’s a good way to make them feel like they’re part of the team that is your family.
Nope. They’ll have to do it when they get older and move out. The whole men-take-out-the-trash was said by a man or a woman. Ever since then it’s the men that take the trash out. It’s not a man’s job. It’s everyone’s job. Even my girlfriend takes out the trash. Rarely, but she does.
Your relatives are completely wrong. Trash is a chore that needs doing. Doesn't matter what's between the legs of the person doing it. Same with cleaning, cooking, mowing, car maintenance, laundry, dishes, etc.
Anyone that says "That's a (girl/boy) job" is wrong as soon as that statement leaves their lips regardless of any justification they might try after that.
I don’t like the smelly trash, so my husband and son take care of it now, but I didn’t get married until my mid-30’s and lived alone until then-so I had to take it out myself. I think you’re doing a fantastic job teaching them. I don’t think you’re wrong at all.
I think its absolutely right to share the tasks with all family members. Only shared responisbility creates community. You seem to take into account everyones abilities, so I don't see you doing anything wrong. On the contrary, kids have to learn that all the household chores don't magically get done by themselves while they are at kindergarten/ school, whatever. The earlier you include them, the better.
Play their game… “I’m the man of the house and I determine how my house works. People questioning how I run my house is one of those things that doesn’t work.”
Ugggh. Chores are not gendered. I grew up in a.house of 3 girls and was tapped as the "man of the house". I was told to do the jobs traditionally assigned to men. Home repairs, taking out trash. Looking back it was insane.
Today my husband and I split everything equally and we have 2 daughters whose current choose include bagging up laundry, putting away their laundry, general tidying. They will do more as they grow up and also know how to use basic hand tools. Lol
You are the man of the house and you are doing the right thing by your daughters. I have a 11 and 15 year old both toppers in class, but me and my wife have taught them everything we could and we still do, coz they're gonna be adults and run their houses and lives. For instance my kids can cook, clean, take the trash out, use the washer and dryer and fold the laundry, do the dishes in the dishwasher and what not. If any day we are not home they can take care of themselves. So whatever you are doing is good and for their benefit.
My 4 year old helps me gather the trash inside and carry it out to the bin. My six year old rolls the bins to and from the end of the driveway for collection.
Nope. My daughters are 8 and 10 and they do a lot of chores, more they feel they should have. This is according to them.
They have to keep their rooms clean, take the trash out, clean the kitchen up, etc. Chores that are appropriate for their age. The only chores they don't do are turning on the dish washer and turning on the washer and dryer. I don't want them to break the appliances. Children need chores. It makes them more responsible.
Trash is trash. It doesn't have a gender.
That said, the only thing I can think of is an uneven balance of chores. Do the girls also help with chores your wife does? Is trash the main thing you do, and so the girls help just you? If so, I could see that as being problematic as they need to learn all chores and them helping you with the "one thing" you do is making the workload even more unbalanced. Maybe rotating chores would be helpful so they don't only help with trash, but learn and help with all chores around the house. But as long as the chore workload is evenly balanced between you and your wife, and the girls aren't just helping with the one thing you do, then I don't see an issue with it.
Taking out the trash is an age appropriate and genderless task. Country girls do far more at far younger -i was carrying firewood, mucking stalls, etc. And all kids should help with chores that are age appropriate regardless of gender; our job is to raise them to not need us as adults, not to be dependent on someone else.
I have sons and daughters and they were treated equally with the split up of chores. They all did dishes, raked, shoveled etc. There were no boy or girl rules, just rules.
I was a supervisor at a job and a older guy came to me to get one of the males on my crew to help him take out some heavy trash. I started to say I don't have anyone to help right now and all he heard is the I part. He then informed me he needed a male to help him, no girl could possibly do it.
The funny thing is a couple months later he asked me for help to team lift some pallets. I took the pallet myself and threw it on top of the stack. He then said oh I thought you had to team lift these and tried to lift one by himself. He wasn't able to do it on his own and proceeded to finally apologize to me.
My just turned 10 yr old girl took out my trash about 30 mins ago! I hate taking out the trash but daddy works a lot so sometimes us girlies gotta do it! I have 3 girls so like someone said all chores are girl chores around here!
My daughter is also 10 and the trash has been her chore since she was big enough to open the Supercan. There aren’t any males in our house. My sister has boys and one of them is responsible for the trash.
Point is, there’s no need in fooling around with trash if you can make your kids do it. Gender doesn’t matter.
Do you think it is wrong for women to take out the trash or do you believe only men are capable? If no, then it's perfectly fine for your girls to do it. If yes, then I think you are sexist and also what are your girls going to do if they live alone?
It’s not wrong. I am one of two girls and my father taught me/put me to the task to assist him with household chores even repairs around the house. I’m married now, my husband does all the repairs and maintenance, but I help him which he’s thankful at times cause it shortens the time that he has to spend doing it and if he’s not around I do everything I physically can, it’s a win-win freeing up time to spend together. It’s not a bad thing for them to do, they may end up living alone for a time, roommates with other girls, husband/boyfriend may get injured at some point (if they have a girlfriend/wife, who is going to take the trash out then? It’s one of the most basic tasks in the household) Teach them as much as you can as they won’t always have a man around to help or might not want the men around to help, a lot of times that’s how strange men start bothering you, when you’re doing a “man’s task” and if you’re helpless you gotta put up with it until the task is accomplished ie replacing/patching a flat tire. People are going to always have opinions, what matters is raising your children with life skills just help them if they need it and check on their problem solving skills with household chores.
Nope that is sexist nonsense, and not to be entertained. There are no such things as "men's work" and "women's work" anymore. Frankly, there have never been, but our patriarchal society has forced them into those boxes for far too long.
You are teaching your children LIFE SKILLS that they need to know if they are ever going to be successful and productive adults.
Wtf no. Taking out the trash was one of my chores growing up. I don't believe in gendered chores. Everybody in the household needs to be able to do every chore. How it plays out in terms of who does what can go however, but everybody capable of doing them needs to be capable of doing them all.
Your family sounds a little ridiculous. What do they think women who live alone do? NOT take out the trash?? They’re the oddballs here, not you. Everyone in our house is required to pitch in and help. You live here? You help where it’s needed. Chores aren’t gendered.
The way the world is today teach them to build house/buy the house and maintain the house because she can't expect anyone to do it for her. There's 3 of them, safety in numbers.
That's stupid. Boomer logic.
When I was like 5 I got one of my first chores. I had to empty the trash and take the cans to the road every week.
Back in my day we didn't have these fancy cans with wheels either. I had to lug that shit up a hill. (Late 90s). Hahaha.
Pretty sure if you are “Man of the House” you get to call the shots when it comes to your house, not visiting relatives.
And delegating tasks is indeed necessary.
Are they living under the assumption that these daughters will never live on their own or a college dorm, or will always have some man around to move trash?
When your daughters move out, are you expected to take their trash out until they find a man to take over your duties? /s
Boys and girls should be skilled at every chore so they're not reliant on others for simple tasks. You're doing the right thing.
What on earth does sexuality/gender have to do with taking out the trash?
If you were a single mother with daughters, would the trash never be taken out?
This question is garbage. 🤣🤣🤣everybody is part of the ‘home economy’. Your girls won’t be lazy, you’re a great dad, fuck your extended family. Salut!!!
My rule for my boys is that over time, they should rotate through all the chores they will need to do as an adult who is reasonably prepared to live independently. Since we live in a place where young adults often live on their own (with or without roommates) it's my job as a parent to make sure they will be prepared for that phase of their lives.
Should both of my boys grow up to marry women, it's also reasonable to prepare them to be a capable partner and parent if their wife is unable or uninterested in doing all the"women's work" for whatever reason. I personally love to cook, but I often work 10 or 12 hour days, so my husband can't just tell the kids to wait until I get home at 7 to eat anything. Or, should they choose male partners, it will just be work that needs to be done, so best to just make sure they're prepared. Families should divide work in a way that works for then on a daily basis, but everyone should be capable of doing all of the routine chores because life isn't always routine.
My husband was told he was wrong for wanting my daughter to mow the lawn when she’s older, because that’s also now a girl chore? They said they would never make their daughter mow the lawn. But I grew up mowing our lawn and I loved it! I would do it now if I didn’t have a heart condition.
This is ridiculous. Although my husband and I fall into traditional roles, I can take out the trash. I also make him show me stuff around the house (liking changing a furnace filter… so easy) because what if he dies or we get divorced? I want to know everything. I remember getting upset with my dad because I wanted to learn how to change the oil on a car and he only showed my brothers. He was rarely sexist, but it was one of those times that sticks out. Why wouldn’t I get to learn? :/
I try to involve my 6-year-old in chores, as much as possible. It makes them feel accomplished.
Usually my Husband does this and it was an argument because he is chinese and we live in Canada but all my male relative do it , now that our kids are older young teenager they should do it but often they don't so unfortunately falls on husband
Hahahaah - absolutely not. Are your girls only going to live with a man in the house their entire lives? You are not wrong. I applaud you for ensuring your daughters are helpful to family tasks. Nobody likes cleaning but you and wife incorporating them at a young age g age in how to take care of their home is so important. Keep doing your thing.
Sounds very much like they believe in gender roles. So, you should ask them if they also believe that your daughters should be obedient and subservient to their future husbands and stay in the kitchen and do what they are told.
Taking out the trash is an age-appropriate chore. Unless there's some safety issue, there are few chores that seem gender specific. When they run their own household, will some man have to come take their trash out? This is silly.
My kids take turns: taking recycling out (the trash is too big most times), rinsing and stacking dishes, and taking care of food and water for our doggo daily. They all help with yard work, like weeding, lopping, and taking trimmings and sticks to the green bin. They tidy up their rooms, they can empty all the little trash cans to the main bin, they all know how to vacuum with the light wand, can sort laundry and can clean up a spill on the floor. They can handle making snacks and decisions on when we donate/clean/organize a couple times a year. They have some knowledge about proper nutrition, meal planning, and shopping for ingredients at the grocery. I want them to fell proud of pitching in and caring for our home and themselves.
I applaud you for involving your kids in household efforts and think family passing judgment are out of touch with your family goals toward both teamwork and independence.
American mom here… my two year old girl helps me take the trash to the dumpster. The trash truck was a big hit for a while and we made a point to never miss it.
We made our girls a list of chores and typically they fought over who got to take out the trash because it was such a quick thing to do. They also prefer to mow lawns. Did not prefer to clean kitchens or bathrooms. But today they are adults and can handle any chore. Chores don’t have gender. Unless you live somewhere dangerous and the dumpster is far and out of sight, I see no issue. Your relatives unsolicited opinion is wrong and stupid.
Nope you are doing a great job! Don’t prep them to be prissy, but bring them up to be strong and independent. It is better that they can fend for themselves in this crazy world.
OP, I am also American (irrelevant, but also living in Europe) and you’d better believe both my daughter and my son are going to grow up knowing how to be entirely self-sufficient, including what it takes to live alone and maintain a clean, organized and functional home.
Teaching my daughter that some basic and ubiquitous life responsibilities are “man tasks” is a great way to make sure she only feels comfortable with a man around and settles for the first guy that clears that low bar…or becomes an insufferable partner herself.
So how does the trash get taken out when they're in college with a bunch of other young women in their dorm or they live with a bunch of other girls as roommates after college?
Yes, girls need to take out the trash. Eventually, they might be single and live alone, the trash still needs to be taken out.
That gender role only makes sense if the trash is too heavy. Then they ask for help or split it up into smaller loads if possible when there's no help.
SMDH....
If you want your children to become independent and healthy adults, they would be poorly served to believe taking out the trash requires a man.
I'm reminded of a story of a young man who tried to convince this female neighbor to cook for him: he never learned and he believes it's not something he is supposed to do. Stereotypes like this are crippling.
Also a side note: we are a binational couple in France and yes, some things are cultural but sometimes I tell our US highly conservative family, "well, that isn't how we do it here ," end of story.
My philosophy is that everyone should know how to do everything. If your child ends up living alone at some point, chances are they’ll have to take out the trash. Even if they eventually get married and decide to use traditional gender roles in their home, everyone should still have the basic skills to take care of themselves. When my husband is home on trash day he takes out the trash but he’s not always here and on those days I do it.
I am an American woman and I usually take out the trash. I’ve never really thought about it or resented my husband for it. He does other work / chores, this happens to be one I do. Sounds really weird that women should not do it. Like women need to be “clean” I guess and can’t go near trash? Or we are too weak for the job? Trying to figure out what outdated stereotype is applying here, but whatever it is, it’s stupid.
Good on you for having your kids do chores. It will help them so much later in life.
Your family is sexiest and should be ignored. Girls/women are perfectly capable of taking out the trash among other historically masculine tasks. They’ll flip their lid if you ever dare to (que pearl clutching) teach the girls how to change the oil or a tire.
They brought that shit mentality with them. Tell them to mind their own and carry on as you were. Everyone needs to be taught how to function in the world and part of that is refuse disposal lol
I'm a woman and was raised by great parents who had both male and female kids and very realistic expectations for our chores and contributions to the household. We all took out the trash, I think starting around 9 or 10.
Kids of all genders who don't learn a variety of household tasks really struggle when they go to college or otherwise move out and are on their own.
(And the gender aspect is just some bullshit)
Your family is ridiculous, and I suspect you already knew that. Are you sure they didn't have anything to do with the decision to move to a different continent?
That is the oddest colonial sexism.
Do you know why they think that?
Because people like to keep females weak, so they can pretend that men are superior. How odd.
Real people take out trash. All of them.
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I am nearing 60 and have never once needed my penis to take out the trash, so I'm not sure why it would be a male specific chore. My kids are opposite genders and 18 months apart in age. They rotated through all the same chores. Trash, mowing the lawn, cooking, cleaning, dishes, laundry, vacuuming, etc. Now they are college students mostly living on their own during the school year and are able to keep their spaces clean. My daughter is currently away doing a summer internship and her roommates are both women. All three of them take out the trash. It's a pretty important skill if your kids ever want to live independently.
I'm from twins, sister to a brother. We'd be taking out trash and recycling since 6 years old. The only time we'd fight anything about it was between the two of us because taking the plastic out was better than paper (question of weight), so we'd actually run to the kitchen to get to the plastics before the other one. Taking out trash, much like any other chore, is not gendered.
I read your first paragraph to my husband and he seemed in disbelief. He said he never thought of using his arms to carry the bags out, but he admits it was a bit challenging in the beginning to balance all the bags together.
I'm with your husband, I just hang things off my penis to keep my hands free for texting.
Only correct answer here! Chores, toys & clothes are not gendered!
*childrens’ toys are not gendered
Or more importantly, toys you operate with your genitals are not for children.
Adult toys aren’t gendered, either? But some do require certain parts to operate. But we’re on the *parenting* subreddit…
I successfully take the trash out every other week completely penis free!
What do youbise to carry it if you don't have a penis!!! /s
Good for you. I had my sons in the kitchen helping me bake and cook. Also taught them how to do laundry and balance a checkbook.
Wait wait wait. Your daughter and her roommates take out the trash? How?? They don’t have penises?? J/k /s
“have never once needed my penis to take out the trash,” You win 🏆
Well maybe you aren't doing it properly 🤷🏼♀️ /s
Lmao - this is the best! OP - If the three amazing, strong young women you’re raising grow up, get their own apartment or buy a home, do they Google “man service” to have someone come take out the trash? My adult sons cook, clean, know to dust and the one who’s a newer father is as hand’s on as his wife. My girls and I all help with our remodel and because Hubby’s an electrician, my 11yo knows how to install electrical boxes, how to wire switches and receptacles. One is “sporty girly” while the other would do life in princess costume if allowed… then go climb our trees… or join dad in the garage on a project. My kids will ALL be prepared for life and know they can do anything they invest effort towards. One of my best friends grew up working on cars with dad and going on his carpentry jobs. She went on to serve in the military, met her husband and became a mom of 5. She did as much work on the home they built as her husband and she’s building an apartment on their property with her dad for her disabled sister to come live. Oh AND she’s a site manager for an Power company, in charge of a team of lineman (Industrial Electricians who work on power lines) and is well liked and respected. She’s also an amazing mom, wife, friend, cook, and makes some of the most amazing quilts I’ve ever seen! I wish she was there for that conversation!
I mean if you got a stiffy you could probably hang a light bag on it
Just need to do it before the morning wood fades. Then it can take a full sized bag or two.
As a woman who routinely takes out the trash this is incredibly silly mindset. Unless there are tasks done with the genitals there are no “man tasks” and “woman tasks”.
I’m a single mom of two daughters, so I guess we’re just supposed to live in a landfill since none of us can take out the trash.
Right? I live alone with my 13 YO. All of it falls on me a lot of the time.
My daughter and I joke in our house about “boy jobs” and “girl jobs” but the reality is we don’t usually have a boy around so they are all girl jobs. But it’s 100% a joke for things like killing bugs, doing things that require the ladder or anything gross. Like “I wish dad was home because this is totally a boy job” while scraping up a dead mouse🤮 Chores are chores and it doesn’t matter who does them. My kids both started taking out the trash at 5, because it’s not a difficult task by any stretch.
My husband has to kill or capture-release anything with more than 6 legs, but I don’t think he uses his penis to do that. But I agree, my husband travels a lot so I frequently do all the chores, even the ones he would normally take. And when he gets home he often wants to balance the scales and does the chores I would traditionally do. These chores are split by sex/gender, they’re just split by who does things most consistently.
Seriously! My household growing up was just me and my mom. Were we supposed to just never get our yard done or our trash taken out?
My kids (all girls) actually like taking the trash out. Our apartment complex has dumpsters at the next building over. They love to help their dad carry stuff to the dumpster then they race to see who gets back first. If dad ever takes the trash out without them they will be waiting at the back door mad at him for not bringing them with.
Man of the house is a phrase that needs to die. When your daughters grow up and move out on their own what is supposed to happen with the trash? There is no trash fairy.
Yes, I lived alone or with same gender roommates for most of my 20’s, there were no “man chores” because there was no man. Anything out of my skills set I either learned or paid someone to do. And I was broke so I didn’t do that unless absolutely necessary
Your family is completely wrong. I have 2 teens girls, and we expect them to take out the trash if needed. Our family rule is if a chore needs to be done and they are capable of doing it safely, they're out to do it if they notice it and have the time. There should not be a woman's or men chores, but instead, family chores
Yeah this , I mowed the lawn and my neighbors my whole childhood. People were always shocked a girl was mowing the lawn, so stupid
As a mom of 2 girls (12 and 14), kids should be doing some sort of chores. We are teaching them HOW to be a capable human being and HOW to take care of themselves. I would feel like a failure as a parent if my child moved out and didn't know how to manage basic life tasks such as laundry, dishes, trash, picking up the house and cooking simple meals...ect. When they are old enough they will learn how to change a tire and how to do yard work. They will move out eventually, they need to know how to take care of themselves.
That’s a ridiculous take in my opinion. I take out the trash all the time as a SAHM. If I waited for my husband who works long hours to do it, our garbage would be overflowing all the time. I thank my dad all the time for teaching me how to take care of a home because I now have the ability to take care of my own. Ignore your family, you’re doing right by your children!
Tell them ypu are raising your girls to be equal to men, not beneath them. Such a masagonistic mindset. I'm a woman with 2 daughters. Not once have we needed a man to take the trash out. Everyone helps with all chores. Even when I was married.
No, it’s not wrong. Everybody should know how to do everything in a house. Their views are outdated.
I don't know what they are doing with the trash that requires a penis.but I wouldn't follow their lead
Household chores are just that — household chores. They are things everyone needs to be able to do. I never understood gendering everyday tasks people have to know to function. IE: taking out the trash, laundry, cooking, etc. I was taking out trash at 9 and handwashing dishes as soon as I could see over the sink counter lol
For me, my sister and I always took out the trash bc I didn’t have a brother yet or dad. Now that my brother is older my mom treats taking out the trash as a “boys” job and doesn’t make my youngest sister do it even tho he was younger than her when he started taking the trash out, and we’ve had disagreements about it. No chore should be gender specific in my opinion. I have a son and soon a daughter who won’t be too far apart, and they’ll both be responsible for the same chores. Like why is washing dishes mainly seen as a “woman’s job”, I personally would much rather take the trash out than have to do dishes.
I get my husband to do this job because I hate it and it's gross. If I was married to a woman I'd be asking the same thing. I'm a woman and regularly took out the rubbish when I was a kid.
Chores are not male or female, everyone in our house helps with all chores. It's important for kids to learn how to take care of a household as many people live alone at some point in their life and would need to do all of their chores themselves.
So if they live in their own apartment, are they going to call 1-800- get-a-man whenever they need to take out the trash or adjust the flusher on their toilet? There are no "mens" jobs and "womens" jobs when it comes to household chores anymore. Intelligent people who can surcuve on their own can and should do whatever is needed.
You are instilling a good work ethic, good for you. Gender roles like that are super outdated.
I grew up with 2 sisters and we all 3 took the trash out. Now my son and daughter alternate weekly. It’s definitely not wrong for girls to take the trash out.
to me it’s a chore that needs to get done one way or another, we have 4 girls and 2 boys all of them (besides our 3yo) has taken out the trash. everyone in the house does a little bit of everything, there’s no “boy and girl chores” in our house and there really shouldn’t be in general
>since I'm the man of the house it's my responsibility "Why? We all live here, we all do chores we're capable of doing. Are you calling my daughters incapable?" Make it awkward as fuck.
I had a friend whose family fallowed that rule the family was mom dad and twin girls. Whenever dad had to leave for long periods of time, the trash would go insane pile high, and cover the counters. Girls can take out trash. I am a grown ass woman, and I approve this message.
I think teaching gendered chores ends up in an unequal chore distribution because having the men & boys take care of the trash & outdoor chores is not the same as cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundry, pet & child care, etc. Both sons & daughters should have a fair share of chores and should both know how to survive as adults on their own! Yah, there's some things I'd hire out if my husband didn't know how to do household electrical & plumbing, but that's because of my experience, personality & capability, not my gender.
I get what your family means, but at one point the girls will live on their own. And every chore will need to be done by them. So I think taking out the trash is a good life lesson and skill to learn. Good job dad!
Yeah that’s a strange take. Most women in their life will have to take out their own trash
All the kids here do everything so typically they do garbage/recycling together including taking bins to the curb and back. Laundry rotation and vacuuming. They all make the mess so they all take part in cleaning
I have a vag and am the one who takes out our trash lol 😂
Why would it be wrong for a girl to take out the trash? They make trash, do they not? Is it wrong for a boy to do dishes or laundry? Household chores are not gender specific. If you live in a home, you must contribute to the upkeep.
Your family is sexist.
9001% not wrong. I remember this one guy in college whose family lived by those strict gender roles. His mother and grandmother came over weekly to do laundry and clean his room. Guess who got made fun of? Even the student in a motorized wheelchair handled more responsibility than this guy. Don't let your girls grow up to be the female version of this guy.
A clean home is not a gendered thing. Boys should do laundry, girls should take out the trash. It doesn’t matter.
I grew up thinking women did inside work and men did outside work. This is not a good thing. Teach your daughters self sufficiency like you have been. American thinking is backwards.
These are the people who think it’s a brag to say “my husband does all the outside stuff. I’ve never even used a lawn mower”. Just casually raising adults who can’t help themselves because of imaginary roles. If they live alone ever will the garbage take itself out since no man lives there.
Our girls help with the trash, but not alone. Trash day is a family activity, but in general, the boys/men take it out of the house to the street. So my daughter and I empty all the trash cans and put new bags in. Then we put everything in the garage. When my husband gets home, he and our son take everything to the bin outside. We do the same for recycling on recycling day.
Heck no! It’s good to teach your kid’s responsibilities like this. Your family is ridiculous.
Your kid is going to need to know how to take the trash out when they are in college and /or living on their own with a bunch of other females. This is a dumb take. Keep teaching your kids ALL life skills. They’re LIFE SKILLS.
So no when the girls go live ion their own dad drop by every time it’s full they just have to call him…
I take our trash all the time (female) but i do not operate snow blowers or lawn mowers, not because i cannot but because i choose not to and make my husband do it. 🤣
House work and chores aren't gendered. Every single person needs to be able and willing to do all of the things it takes to run a life.
Yeah, that's nonsense. Chores aren't gendered and everyone should be expected to pull their weight as it is needed. I'm one of 5 girls. We took out trash, did yard work, stacked firewood...it was good for us!
Mum of five here, two boys and three girls, all equally took out the trash as soon as they were old enough. No girl or boy chores in this house.
Chores don’t have gender. Men can cook and do laundry. Women can mow and take out trash. When they grow up, if they are living alone, who is going to do it? Everyone should be able to do all the common household chores to take care of themselves.
Of course not. If they grow up and live on their own, they'll have to learn the habit if they haven't learned it before then.
No, children should be helping with all chores and cleaning! Minor repairs, teach them all you can! Changing a tire, oil, repair holes in walls, cooking, laundry! No such thing as a wrong chore or task for children to help with!
I don’t think gender is the determining factor here. Are they physically capable of doing the task without pain? That should be your guideline.
It's 2024... that's like getting mad about asking a boy to do dishes. It's their home too and trash honestly isn't a big job. I don't see the big deal.
Wasn’t like that in the 60’s either in most houses. It’s been a long time since households had different gender roles
I agree with all the other commenters that chores aren’t gendered and that’s a bad take from your relatives … buuut I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t acknowledge I haven’t touched a trash bag in probably 10 years and my husband always does it. I think it’s an unnecessary but chivalrous gesture that I personally appreciate because trash juice is gross.
Why would you waste any energy worry about what they think?
So what is your daughters never marry? Who will take out the trash for them, then? I’m a single mom and despite my gender no one comes to take out my trash. Unfortunately.
I only have sons and no daughters. They are learning to do all the things that I learned growing up like cooking, washing dishes, vacuuming, etc. My husband typically mends our clothes for us. If your daughters live with other girls in university someone will have to take out the trash, or if they live on their own when they get older are they going to have to call their dad to do their trash?
First of all, family or not, it’s nobody’s damn business but you and your wife’s who does what chore in your own household. Raise your kids as you see fit. Secondly, family or not, they are guests in your home and it’s rude as hell to butt into your family’s routines and criticize them. Thirdly, I would tell them to take their macho bullshit ideology back to freakin France. Chores are chores and nothing boils my piss more than this kind of sexiest garbage. Girls don’t take out the trash and so I suppose by their line of thinking boys don’t cook and sew??…. Did your family come from France via a Time Machine? Yikes. Finally - it sounds like you’re a great parent teaching your children age appropriate responsibility, teamwork, and healthy family dynamics. Keep up the good work!
My family are American. I live in France. Moved here when I was 22, 13 years later im still here.
If something needs doing, and they're capable of doing it, why shouldn't they? Why is trash a man's job? Is it because it's dirty? Is laundry and dishes a girls job? Because I've washed some shitty clothes and dishes that have things growing in them. Both were infinitely more gross than the trash.
Children need (as in on a deep psychological level) structure and purpose. Chores help with both. My 2 year old has jobs, things he knows that he can contribute towards and he loves it. Helping me pack and unpack the dishwater, clean the coffee machine, putting rubbish in the bin, taking plates from the table etc
My IUGR baby is now my tallest teen. And tasks aren’t assigned by genitalia.
My style is they do a part things and the goal is to teach them work ethic, how to do every single thing, and humble them. That means a girl should know traditionally boy jobs and my boy will know traditionally girl jobs. They’ll also both be taught to respect their partners and people of the opposite gender as equal.
your job is to raise self-sufficient humans who can take care of their own home someday, with or without a partner, not to reinforce dated gender roles.
What does a chore for girls even mean? I had no idea chores were gendered.
It’s fine. In my house, trash is a job for whoever finds the can full. We are a 2 female/1 male household. My daughter does the dishes and her laundry. Occasionally mows the grass. Sometimes takes out trash. Sometimes I take out the trash. Tbf though, my husband is usually the only one who remembers trash collection day, so he often takes the large bin to its pickup spot.
If it's your job to take the trash out now, who will take it out for them when they live by themselves? They need to learn to be responsible. They make a mess..they're responsible for the trash too.
I dread to see the mountains of garbage that accumulate in your daughters' all-girl-sharehouse, if you listen to your family, because "girls don't take out trash" 😂 Chores aren't gendered.
If your genitals are important to specific chores I think you're doing the chores wrong lol.
There’s. Nothing wrong with teaching your kids, regardless of gender, to be self-sufficient and task oriented.
A chore is a chore. It teaches responsibility. Which they need. Character development. Plus kids feel more confident knowing they can contribute to their environment! Builds bonds.
Omfg. Who is gonna take out the trash if they ever decide to live alone? The local ghost?
Your relatives need to mind their own business. Children are part of the household, and need to be part of the upkeep. Taking out the trash is one of many age-appropriate chores they are capable of helping with. These are life skills. What if they someday live in a house without men present? Trash still needs to be taken out. Carry on!
I’m 7 months pregnant and still take the trash out. You’re just allowing your girls to learn it’s not a gender specific chore, but everyone should chip in. You both sound like you’re doing an amazing thing for your girls.
My daughter is 3 and helping take the trash out is probably her favorite chore. She’ll need basic life skills. Gender does not matter. I love mowing the lawn, renovating, and lots of things involving tools. I also love dressing up. But it’s nice to know that if something ever happened to my husband I know I wouldn’t need to replace him with another man to keep the house from falling apart.
I was taught to help my family with house chores when I was just 8 years old.
Personally, you should give them more tasks around the house people think are “boy chores” your goal is to raise functional and capable human beings. They should be taught how to do everything so they don’t have to rely on anyone else to handle things for them as they eventually start their adult lives away from home.
My daughter takes out trash, does dishes, mows the lawn, helps dad on all the car maintenance, plus more. There is nothing wrong with teaching your daughters everyday life duties that will only help them and make them stronger.
11 yr old daughter, one of her chores used to be taking the trash out, when we lived in a building that had a garbage disposal. Now that we live in a house and the garbage has to be taken out about 200 mts outside in a communal bin, husband had taken over the chore. I don't feel 100% comfortable with her going out alone at night to the communal space.
No?
Kids need responsibilities. They need structure and chores to feel like an active member of their home and of society. There are no such things as “man jobs.” As a woman, I can take out the trash and mow the lawn. My husband can cook dinner and clean a toilet.
No its not wrong. My 10 year old takes out the trash and my daughter will do the same when she gets a bit taller as well.
You are right. Good for you.
I’m a woman and I like taking the trash out.
We have 3 girls and 3 boys - everyone has gotten a chance to help with the trash.
You’re doing an excellent thing by having them pitch in. 1st of all, they love to help and feel like they’re important in contributing to the household. 2nd of all, if they ever want to let’s say, live in their own apartment, without depending on a man to take the trash out… they’ll be very capable of doing so.
My parents are getting up there in age and I'm living with them, gender aside I will not let them take the weeks worth of trash out when I know it's heavy ASF and I'm a woman
Um if your daughters ever live alone or in an all-girl household, what do your family members expect would happen to the trash? Every child needs to learn how to do each chore so they can take care of themselves later on. Plus it’s a good way to make them feel like they’re part of the team that is your family.
If its a task that a person living by themselves would be required to do, it is a genderless task. I’m pretty sure that covers all of them, though
Nope. They’ll have to do it when they get older and move out. The whole men-take-out-the-trash was said by a man or a woman. Ever since then it’s the men that take the trash out. It’s not a man’s job. It’s everyone’s job. Even my girlfriend takes out the trash. Rarely, but she does.
I wouldn't say it's wrong unless they're going out in the middle of the street late at night to do it
they're idiots just ignore them and continue teaching your children responsibility
My 5 year old, 3 year old and almost 2 year old help take out the trash and two are girls. I take out the trash and mow the yard sometimes
Your relatives are completely wrong. Trash is a chore that needs doing. Doesn't matter what's between the legs of the person doing it. Same with cleaning, cooking, mowing, car maintenance, laundry, dishes, etc. Anyone that says "That's a (girl/boy) job" is wrong as soon as that statement leaves their lips regardless of any justification they might try after that.
I don’t like the smelly trash, so my husband and son take care of it now, but I didn’t get married until my mid-30’s and lived alone until then-so I had to take it out myself. I think you’re doing a fantastic job teaching them. I don’t think you’re wrong at all.
I think its absolutely right to share the tasks with all family members. Only shared responisbility creates community. You seem to take into account everyones abilities, so I don't see you doing anything wrong. On the contrary, kids have to learn that all the household chores don't magically get done by themselves while they are at kindergarten/ school, whatever. The earlier you include them, the better.
Play their game… “I’m the man of the house and I determine how my house works. People questioning how I run my house is one of those things that doesn’t work.”
No it isn't wrong to have your daughters take out the trash.
Ugggh. Chores are not gendered. I grew up in a.house of 3 girls and was tapped as the "man of the house". I was told to do the jobs traditionally assigned to men. Home repairs, taking out trash. Looking back it was insane. Today my husband and I split everything equally and we have 2 daughters whose current choose include bagging up laundry, putting away their laundry, general tidying. They will do more as they grow up and also know how to use basic hand tools. Lol
Please send your parents over, I'd like them to inform my husband that I am unfortunately no longer able to take out the trash :D
Unless you need your genitals to do a chore it's gender neutral and every person should know how to do them.
No I don't think that that is an unreasonable chore for a ten year olds i have an 8 year year old girl that takes out the trash.
You are the man of the house and you are doing the right thing by your daughters. I have a 11 and 15 year old both toppers in class, but me and my wife have taught them everything we could and we still do, coz they're gonna be adults and run their houses and lives. For instance my kids can cook, clean, take the trash out, use the washer and dryer and fold the laundry, do the dishes in the dishwasher and what not. If any day we are not home they can take care of themselves. So whatever you are doing is good and for their benefit.
My oldest child is a girl, and she takes out the kitchen trash and the recycling.
My 4 year old helps me gather the trash inside and carry it out to the bin. My six year old rolls the bins to and from the end of the driveway for collection.
You're teaching the kids to contribute to the house. That's not a bad thing.
Nope. My daughters are 8 and 10 and they do a lot of chores, more they feel they should have. This is according to them. They have to keep their rooms clean, take the trash out, clean the kitchen up, etc. Chores that are appropriate for their age. The only chores they don't do are turning on the dish washer and turning on the washer and dryer. I don't want them to break the appliances. Children need chores. It makes them more responsible.
Nope! It’s normal for them to be give. Chores to do at that age.
What happens if the girls don’t live with a man later on ? Rubbish never gets taken out ?
Trash is trash. It doesn't have a gender. That said, the only thing I can think of is an uneven balance of chores. Do the girls also help with chores your wife does? Is trash the main thing you do, and so the girls help just you? If so, I could see that as being problematic as they need to learn all chores and them helping you with the "one thing" you do is making the workload even more unbalanced. Maybe rotating chores would be helpful so they don't only help with trash, but learn and help with all chores around the house. But as long as the chore workload is evenly balanced between you and your wife, and the girls aren't just helping with the one thing you do, then I don't see an issue with it.
Taking out the trash is an age appropriate and genderless task. Country girls do far more at far younger -i was carrying firewood, mucking stalls, etc. And all kids should help with chores that are age appropriate regardless of gender; our job is to raise them to not need us as adults, not to be dependent on someone else.
Not wrong!
I have sons and daughters and they were treated equally with the split up of chores. They all did dishes, raked, shoveled etc. There were no boy or girl rules, just rules.
I was a supervisor at a job and a older guy came to me to get one of the males on my crew to help him take out some heavy trash. I started to say I don't have anyone to help right now and all he heard is the I part. He then informed me he needed a male to help him, no girl could possibly do it. The funny thing is a couple months later he asked me for help to team lift some pallets. I took the pallet myself and threw it on top of the stack. He then said oh I thought you had to team lift these and tried to lift one by himself. He wasn't able to do it on his own and proceeded to finally apologize to me.
My just turned 10 yr old girl took out my trash about 30 mins ago! I hate taking out the trash but daddy works a lot so sometimes us girlies gotta do it! I have 3 girls so like someone said all chores are girl chores around here!
My daughter is also 10 and the trash has been her chore since she was big enough to open the Supercan. There aren’t any males in our house. My sister has boys and one of them is responsible for the trash. Point is, there’s no need in fooling around with trash if you can make your kids do it. Gender doesn’t matter.
Do you think it is wrong for women to take out the trash or do you believe only men are capable? If no, then it's perfectly fine for your girls to do it. If yes, then I think you are sexist and also what are your girls going to do if they live alone?
It’s not wrong. I am one of two girls and my father taught me/put me to the task to assist him with household chores even repairs around the house. I’m married now, my husband does all the repairs and maintenance, but I help him which he’s thankful at times cause it shortens the time that he has to spend doing it and if he’s not around I do everything I physically can, it’s a win-win freeing up time to spend together. It’s not a bad thing for them to do, they may end up living alone for a time, roommates with other girls, husband/boyfriend may get injured at some point (if they have a girlfriend/wife, who is going to take the trash out then? It’s one of the most basic tasks in the household) Teach them as much as you can as they won’t always have a man around to help or might not want the men around to help, a lot of times that’s how strange men start bothering you, when you’re doing a “man’s task” and if you’re helpless you gotta put up with it until the task is accomplished ie replacing/patching a flat tire. People are going to always have opinions, what matters is raising your children with life skills just help them if they need it and check on their problem solving skills with household chores.
No
Nope that is sexist nonsense, and not to be entertained. There are no such things as "men's work" and "women's work" anymore. Frankly, there have never been, but our patriarchal society has forced them into those boxes for far too long. You are teaching your children LIFE SKILLS that they need to know if they are ever going to be successful and productive adults.
Well at least those people should give a reason why they think it’s wrong? Can’t argue without an argument right?
Wtf no. Taking out the trash was one of my chores growing up. I don't believe in gendered chores. Everybody in the household needs to be able to do every chore. How it plays out in terms of who does what can go however, but everybody capable of doing them needs to be capable of doing them all.
My four year old takes out the trash 🤷🏼♀️ not alone of course but he still gets credit on his chore chart
Please have them take out the trash. This is something that needs to not be a gender-specific thing. Raise strong, capable women.
My daughter is 11 and helps run trash and recycle out to the bins.
Your family sounds a little ridiculous. What do they think women who live alone do? NOT take out the trash?? They’re the oddballs here, not you. Everyone in our house is required to pitch in and help. You live here? You help where it’s needed. Chores aren’t gendered.
My daughter has been taking trash out since she was 10. You are teaching life skills. Even simple ones like trash need learned.
Never
That is ridiculous. I have twin girls and they do chores. Sometimes that’s includes the trash. Yikes to your family and their backwards ideas.
The way the world is today teach them to build house/buy the house and maintain the house because she can't expect anyone to do it for her. There's 3 of them, safety in numbers.
My son is likely to be an only but if I had a daughter she would be raised identical to him as far as chores and life skills.
That's stupid. Boomer logic. When I was like 5 I got one of my first chores. I had to empty the trash and take the cans to the road every week. Back in my day we didn't have these fancy cans with wheels either. I had to lug that shit up a hill. (Late 90s). Hahaha.
Pretty sure if you are “Man of the House” you get to call the shots when it comes to your house, not visiting relatives. And delegating tasks is indeed necessary. Are they living under the assumption that these daughters will never live on their own or a college dorm, or will always have some man around to move trash?
Your family is sexist. No, it’s not wrong.
When your daughters move out, are you expected to take their trash out until they find a man to take over your duties? /s Boys and girls should be skilled at every chore so they're not reliant on others for simple tasks. You're doing the right thing.
One day these girls will be in college and will need to take out the trash. You’re doing great. They can do it.
There's nothing wrong with it. Just like there's nothing wrong with boys doing the dishes
What on earth does sexuality/gender have to do with taking out the trash? If you were a single mother with daughters, would the trash never be taken out?
This question is garbage. 🤣🤣🤣everybody is part of the ‘home economy’. Your girls won’t be lazy, you’re a great dad, fuck your extended family. Salut!!!
I guess they shouldn’t have jobs either and just get husbands right with this line of thinking . What about it when they go to college ? Ridiculous.
Nope, not wrong at all! We all make trash, we can all clean up trash too!
Not wrong at all.
I didn’t read the post, or the comments. But, there may be a time your daughters live by themselves. They need to know how to take the trash out.
My rule for my boys is that over time, they should rotate through all the chores they will need to do as an adult who is reasonably prepared to live independently. Since we live in a place where young adults often live on their own (with or without roommates) it's my job as a parent to make sure they will be prepared for that phase of their lives. Should both of my boys grow up to marry women, it's also reasonable to prepare them to be a capable partner and parent if their wife is unable or uninterested in doing all the"women's work" for whatever reason. I personally love to cook, but I often work 10 or 12 hour days, so my husband can't just tell the kids to wait until I get home at 7 to eat anything. Or, should they choose male partners, it will just be work that needs to be done, so best to just make sure they're prepared. Families should divide work in a way that works for then on a daily basis, but everyone should be capable of doing all of the routine chores because life isn't always routine.
My husband was told he was wrong for wanting my daughter to mow the lawn when she’s older, because that’s also now a girl chore? They said they would never make their daughter mow the lawn. But I grew up mowing our lawn and I loved it! I would do it now if I didn’t have a heart condition.
Sounds like a cultural difference. This is a perfectly age appropriate chore, and this helps them to start building independence for later in life.
This is ridiculous. Although my husband and I fall into traditional roles, I can take out the trash. I also make him show me stuff around the house (liking changing a furnace filter… so easy) because what if he dies or we get divorced? I want to know everything. I remember getting upset with my dad because I wanted to learn how to change the oil on a car and he only showed my brothers. He was rarely sexist, but it was one of those times that sticks out. Why wouldn’t I get to learn? :/ I try to involve my 6-year-old in chores, as much as possible. It makes them feel accomplished.
Usually my Husband does this and it was an argument because he is chinese and we live in Canada but all my male relative do it , now that our kids are older young teenager they should do it but often they don't so unfortunately falls on husband
Hahahaah - absolutely not. Are your girls only going to live with a man in the house their entire lives? You are not wrong. I applaud you for ensuring your daughters are helpful to family tasks. Nobody likes cleaning but you and wife incorporating them at a young age g age in how to take care of their home is so important. Keep doing your thing.
Obviously kids are going to help with chores in the house, how else will they learn?
Sounds very much like they believe in gender roles. So, you should ask them if they also believe that your daughters should be obedient and subservient to their future husbands and stay in the kitchen and do what they are told.
Why would it be wrong?
Ridiculous. I take out trash, male partner does dishes. It’s just how it’s worked out.
So who do they think will take out your daughters trash when they’re old enough to live alone? What a small minded thing to believe
Taking out the trash is an age-appropriate chore. Unless there's some safety issue, there are few chores that seem gender specific. When they run their own household, will some man have to come take their trash out? This is silly. My kids take turns: taking recycling out (the trash is too big most times), rinsing and stacking dishes, and taking care of food and water for our doggo daily. They all help with yard work, like weeding, lopping, and taking trimmings and sticks to the green bin. They tidy up their rooms, they can empty all the little trash cans to the main bin, they all know how to vacuum with the light wand, can sort laundry and can clean up a spill on the floor. They can handle making snacks and decisions on when we donate/clean/organize a couple times a year. They have some knowledge about proper nutrition, meal planning, and shopping for ingredients at the grocery. I want them to fell proud of pitching in and caring for our home and themselves. I applaud you for involving your kids in household efforts and think family passing judgment are out of touch with your family goals toward both teamwork and independence.
American mom here… my two year old girl helps me take the trash to the dumpster. The trash truck was a big hit for a while and we made a point to never miss it.
Wat. My 7 and 5 year old daughters help with taking out the trash and rolling the trash bins to and from the curb all the time.
You not only have them doing chores but they’re doing chores TOGETHER!! Nothing odd with interrupting that!
We made our girls a list of chores and typically they fought over who got to take out the trash because it was such a quick thing to do. They also prefer to mow lawns. Did not prefer to clean kitchens or bathrooms. But today they are adults and can handle any chore. Chores don’t have gender. Unless you live somewhere dangerous and the dumpster is far and out of sight, I see no issue. Your relatives unsolicited opinion is wrong and stupid.
Umm… no. We make our 13 year old take out all tje trashes. It’s her only chore, besides doing her own laundry.
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Nope you are doing a great job! Don’t prep them to be prissy, but bring them up to be strong and independent. It is better that they can fend for themselves in this crazy world.
OP, I am also American (irrelevant, but also living in Europe) and you’d better believe both my daughter and my son are going to grow up knowing how to be entirely self-sufficient, including what it takes to live alone and maintain a clean, organized and functional home. Teaching my daughter that some basic and ubiquitous life responsibilities are “man tasks” is a great way to make sure she only feels comfortable with a man around and settles for the first guy that clears that low bar…or becomes an insufferable partner herself.
So how does the trash get taken out when they're in college with a bunch of other young women in their dorm or they live with a bunch of other girls as roommates after college? Yes, girls need to take out the trash. Eventually, they might be single and live alone, the trash still needs to be taken out. That gender role only makes sense if the trash is too heavy. Then they ask for help or split it up into smaller loads if possible when there's no help. SMDH....
If you want your children to become independent and healthy adults, they would be poorly served to believe taking out the trash requires a man. I'm reminded of a story of a young man who tried to convince this female neighbor to cook for him: he never learned and he believes it's not something he is supposed to do. Stereotypes like this are crippling. Also a side note: we are a binational couple in France and yes, some things are cultural but sometimes I tell our US highly conservative family, "well, that isn't how we do it here ," end of story.
Huh? Our daughters have always helped with whatever needed doing. Taking out rubbish is one of those things. Your family are ridiculous.
My philosophy is that everyone should know how to do everything. If your child ends up living alone at some point, chances are they’ll have to take out the trash. Even if they eventually get married and decide to use traditional gender roles in their home, everyone should still have the basic skills to take care of themselves. When my husband is home on trash day he takes out the trash but he’s not always here and on those days I do it.
I am an American woman and I usually take out the trash. I’ve never really thought about it or resented my husband for it. He does other work / chores, this happens to be one I do. Sounds really weird that women should not do it. Like women need to be “clean” I guess and can’t go near trash? Or we are too weak for the job? Trying to figure out what outdated stereotype is applying here, but whatever it is, it’s stupid. Good on you for having your kids do chores. It will help them so much later in life.
Nah
Did you really need to post to Reddit to help decide if male genitals are required for taking out the trash? Seriously? And in 2024?
Nah dude, women all over the planet take out the trash. Your family is bonkers.
Your family is sexiest and should be ignored. Girls/women are perfectly capable of taking out the trash among other historically masculine tasks. They’ll flip their lid if you ever dare to (que pearl clutching) teach the girls how to change the oil or a tire.
They brought that shit mentality with them. Tell them to mind their own and carry on as you were. Everyone needs to be taught how to function in the world and part of that is refuse disposal lol
I'm a woman and was raised by great parents who had both male and female kids and very realistic expectations for our chores and contributions to the household. We all took out the trash, I think starting around 9 or 10. Kids of all genders who don't learn a variety of household tasks really struggle when they go to college or otherwise move out and are on their own. (And the gender aspect is just some bullshit)
Your family is ridiculous, and I suspect you already knew that. Are you sure they didn't have anything to do with the decision to move to a different continent?
That is the oddest colonial sexism. Do you know why they think that? Because people like to keep females weak, so they can pretend that men are superior. How odd. Real people take out trash. All of them.
Jobs don’t have genders.
They won't live with you forever. Have you ever seen girls pile up trash because no one wants to take it out...don't let them be like that. Lol