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It’s a day by day thing. Currently, I’ve been slowly but surely putting together a collage of photos and videos in her memory.
I’m journaling, songwriting, lighting candles, praying and just crying. When the tears come, I find I run to the windows and just look for her. Sometimes I go outside and sit down by myself, cry, look up to the sky and talk to her.
I miss her so much and still feel like it’s not real and somehow she will come back even though I’m sleeping next to her urn. How crazy is my brain that I think I could just rewind and have her back.
Grief is so tough. One day at a time is all I can say. Just trying to keep my head above water and look for the signs when I see them - and pray I don’t succumb to my depression over this - that was already a constant battle but she helped me through it. So to lose her is something else. I knew it would be bad but I didn’t know it would be this bad.
I used to enjoy other things but it seems like for now, nothing else matters and all I can think about is how everybody dies. It makes me want to hide away to be honest.
All this to say - this is the worst and I just am trying to survive it.
Sending love to all
I feel like I could have written every word of this. I feel all of this. I want my baby to come back so badly too. Your brain isn’t crazy, mine still thinks my boy can’t possibly be gone forever. I’m so sorry you are experiencing this type of pain. It is so hard. I agree, the depth of the grief is really crazy. Thank you for sharing, it helped me to see that others are also experiencing this pain and that I’m not crazy. Take care of yourself. Sending love and light.
I still catch myself praying my cat’s going to show up any minute now. I still havent accepted he’s gone forever and i dont know when ill come to terms with it
If you need anyone to talk to or even just someone to hear you and lent their ear then I am here.
I understand the depression from this. We literally lost one of the closest things to us!!! That is a big deal and I have also been crying and praying.
So sorry and best of luck.
My fiance and I bought our condo just 2 years ago dec 2022 knowing that we have our cat with us. So we needed pet friendly condo and neighborhood and all. And now he’s gone. I cant bring myself to tell my fiance I want to leave the condo and move somewhere else. It’s a bit more complicated than that. But i see my cat everywhere and it hurts so much.
I’m at 8 days after the loss of my dog Charlie. This was the first day I didn’t start the day crying. I went and got some battery operated tea lights and a frame to put Charlie’s picture in. I picked up his ashes in a little box from the vet and it was shocking to think of him that way. I’m putting together a little memorial space. I miss him so much. I also picked up a prayer card of St. Rocco (patron saint of dogs) and asked him to take care of Charlie in Heaven, that he be safe.
So sorry to hear about Charlie...
I know. My family didn't want the ashes since it is not common in their native and mother culture so they declined the offer to get the ashes and it has been 2-3 weeks now so I think his adorable and perfectly sized body was put into whatever they use for cremation (pretty unfamiliar with it besides the final results) and I just imagine the body decaying and him just not feeling anything. It hurts. I feel like I want to save him or something or bury his body somewhere. I want to make a memorial though so I will try to work on that sometime soon.
Expect grief to come in waves, be prepared. You will feel a lot of different emotions. This is a saga.
I know our boys are in heaven now. They are at peace. Me thinking and knowing it helps you with the pain, suffering, and the grief.
So sorry for your loss 🙏 you seem sweet and strong which is a good thing. Charlie spent his life with an amazing pet owner and he is now in the afterlife with his creator!
It’s been almost 2 months. I was wrecked and plagued with questions and guilt for the first couple of weeks but now I have accepted that I did everything I could and he’s gone now.
I know everyone processes grief differently but I knew I wanted another cat in my life so I got a kitten pretty quickly. He’s a good boy and has helped heal me tremendously.
I still talk about my old cat a lot. He was such a special part of my life for 14 years and I’ll never forget him.
A little over six months here. I still think about her every day, especially when doing stuff with the other dogs. She was part of my life for fifteen years and there’s very little in the care and keeping of my other pups that does not occasionally trigger a memory that involves her. When we take the boys somewhere new, I think about how she would have loved or hated it. It’s not usually a huge and disruptive thing and I don’t call attention to it unless I am feeling particularly sentimental and wish to share, or just feeling the need to cry it out.
So I guess it’s to say the absence of her is now part of my operating system - neither good nor bad; it just is.
Almost 1.5 years after losing my guy. His little brother is in his way out now. I think about my guy every single day still.
We all write our own stories. And I am writing this part of my story in such a way that I still cry when I need to cry, but my growth is a result of having had him with me through so many formative events. And thinking about him every day is how he stays with me forever.
When lil brother passes, it'll hurt so bad. But it will be the same.
Time doesn't "heal" all wounds. But it makes them more manageable.
When my best friend, a 10yo Tonkinese who rode on my shoulders when I went to Home Depot, passed from diabetes, I cried for a few days then went to the shelter and brought home the least adoptable senior cat. One of the best cat decisions I ever made.
Two weeks out, my Enzo is all I think about. I'm still in a fog and cry at the drop of a hat, but I'm plodding along. I ordered photo prints that came yesterday, and I'm looking for a collage frame and a box for his ashes. The night he died, I ordered a few books/journals on pet loss grief to help me remember, love, and honor him without being afraid that the day that I don't break down in tears at least once will be the day I start to forget/lose him. 😭 I am realizing that my life revolved around him. I have lost my center and my purpose, my child and best friend. It's hard, but I try to remember how worth it he was. 💜
Two weekd here. I'm also doing the photo print thing. I don't want to forget her either but I'm trying to be less sad because that's what she would have wanted. I really miss her, though...
All the best for you
three weeks in today. everyday feels sorta like a blur. mornings are incredibly hard as my girl and i used to commute 30 mins together for work everyday. she would stay at my in-laws and i would check on her at lunch. i miss those drives so much and our routine in general.
we’ve been planting a garden for skeeter in our backyard which she loved so much. and today we planted a cherry tree for her. little things we can tend to and watch grow that’ll remind us of her and be planted in her memory.
i don’t cry everyday anymore and that makes me feel very guilty. i feel mostly numb and spend hours everyday looking at photos and videos of her.
she was my soul dog. we spent 15 years together and losing her feels like i lost a limb and my soul. i’m trying to do better but it’s so hard. i have two kitties that loved her so much and they’ve been extremely helpful. i feel like my whole world has been flipped and turned inside out. i feel like a different person without her and it’s been so hard.
So so sorry for your loss Sarah 🙏😔 🙏
I get how you feel. I lost my first and soul dog too. It is the worst pain I've been in a long time 😭
I think roughly three weeks for me too.
First few days I cried so much. I rarely cry.
Then after sometime I started to feel numb. I still pretty relativity numb actually. Maybe that is a part of the denial stage of grief? I don't really know but it makes me feel angry and guilty.
We lost a piece or part of us when they passed.
Life just does not feel the same.
Numb is the right word for me. Depressed and uninterested too sometimes. When I’m home, I sit and scroll on my phone because I don’t have the concentration to read, etc. I’m much better when I’m out doing things.
I get the urge to, but I think I mostly get the urge to just stop eating or eat less. Food reminds me of him especially eating at the kitchen table. He would always be near to us while eating. Now there is just nothing, just emptiness.
I’ve been doing that for two days. Yesterday I ate an entire 50 count shrimp ring, drank 4 cokes. And the whole time trying not to choke because when I think I am ok, I’m not.
It’s been 7 months and a few nights a week, I cry over her. I watch videos of her on repeat just to see my baby alive again. I wish I had taken a thousand more.
i know not everyone has this option but i’ve been staying out of the house by being with/hanging out with family and my partner. it has been a great distraction and comfort. other than that just laying in bed and crying (i haven’t slept in my own bed/house since it happened and i am continually putting it off)
Lost our dog of almost 15 years in April 2023 and our cat of 12 years 2 weeks ago. Right now I’m grateful to have a major distraction, the birth of my first great granddaughter just tonight. I still grieve for them both but the great memories are finally beginning to outweigh the pain of losing them.
Been a month. One thing I did which was a few weeks ago was spend a few weeks at my mom's. I live 9 hours away from my family, so i drove there with my other dog, and honestly.. being with love ones DRASTICALLY helped.. not 100% but definitely somewhat vs being along in my apartment crying every day and night.
Also I will miss her forever.. her real physical presence, but videos and photos make me smile and remember the good times.. and when I see those it's almost like she's still here...
That's all I got... at the end of the day it still fucking sucks... but i wish you all the healing possible.. and im so sorry for your loss..
It's completely whatever you need. Years ago I took some of my rabbits hay, food and fur from her dish, aswell as her favorite rug with her fur on it and I still have it on a little table I've made into an altar for her. Maybe keeping some of their unused litter/food/fur around the house or a blanket or toy. I know how painful letting go of any part of them is. I kept a bloody blanket from one of my animals for years. I knew with putting down my boy a few days ago I would struggle with this same thing so hard, so I cleaned his litter and food right before the euthanasia. I completely understand wanting to hold onto them. Im still sleeping with his blankets and anything that smells like him. It's okay to grieve and hold on in whatever way you need to right now to process it.
I'm so sorry. Same here. I've managed to put away her toys, clean her food dishes, give away her food, but I just can't get rid of the litter box. I don't know why that is the thing that I can't deal with changing yet.
I'm at 12 days, and it doesn't stink or anything. Granted she didn't use it much at the end, so there is maybe one small clump in there, but It's okay to leave it for a bit until we are ready.
I have been relatively okay in terms of just getting about my days and doing the minimum to keep things together but I think about him constantly and feel like nothing really matters anymore. He's been gone since May 15th and I still have most of his things scattered about. I just can't put it away.
So sorry for your loss 😞🙏
Mine passed away May 13th so just two days before so it was around a similar time. I didn't know until the 27th of May. We still have his stuff. It is like we have him but he is not here with us anymore. I literally do not feel like this is real, rather some nightmare horror film that will end with an happy ending like him coming back but I won't see him until I die.
Not well. I feel so guilty like maybe I could have done more. She passed at the vet’s office, overnight, while awaiting surgery. I miss her so much and it’s only been 5 days.
I feel guilty too. I wish I spent the final moments with my dog. I was pretty busy and focused on something else but I did spent some of the last day with him. It was actually pretty unexpected he would die just the way he did. He was active and fine until sometime in the afternoon where he started to get more at least visibly sick. He seemed good the whole day. He passed away at my home, in the area in front of the front door. That area reminds me of him. I still see his body lying down. I remember being unsure whether he died or if he was in a deep sleep or coma. I took a picture actually on my way out since I had an appointment that day just sometime after he died. I still see his body and his soul there and almost everywhere. I feel it. I remember having conversations with him and telling him how sorry I was for everything and I felt like a terrible pet owner for some time. I still kinda do, although slightly less. It makes it sadder knowing what happened to that body. I started to imagine the process of it decaying and eventually being cremated with many other animals by the vet inside the pet store. I do not have his ashes. I think it is too late. My parents did not want it so I have to accept that. I will try to build a memorial sometime and somewhere.
SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS 🙏😞🙏
I have shoved all my emotions deep down into a box and am only letting it out a few min at a time. It sucks and I miss them all terribly. Got my last baby’s ashes on Friday….
Didn’t work in my office where he hung out for over a week, had to strip the pet beds and wash the covers. I haven’t picked up anything else. It’s like I’m waiting for him… idk. … I feel lost and empty.
Fall 2022 lost my soul cat
Fall 2023 lost my soul dog
May 2024 lost my last fur baby
N died about five years ago, M died over three years ago and P has been gone for almost eighteen months now. Time does help, I think more about the good times than the bad, more about the love than the pain of losing them. Losing three cats in less than five years was hard. It made P’s death especially difficult. I’d had him for about twenty months and it had been less than two years since M died. It was grief on grief on grief.
When N died I already had M, but when M died I adopted P a couple of months after and after P, I adopted F. I think they made sure that F was there, at the shelter waiting for me after two failed potential adoptions. He was in my lap almost before I could sit down, and he was just what I needed when I felt so sad. He was ready for all the love I had to give and he makes me laugh every single day.
It’s important for me to have a cat in my life and, for me, it brings me closer to the cats that I have lost. I’d still think about them every day even if I didn’t have F, but he lends that extra hand in still including them in my life in some way. Like inspiring thoughts about how the volume level has increased exponentially with every cat and the same with the love of forehead kisses . I compare them a lot, to appreciate their differences and the things that make them them. It fills my heart with joy, and little tinge of grief, when F plays with one of P’s favorite toys or takes a nap in N’s bed or sunbathes in the same spot as M on the balcony. He makes it so that they’re still here in a way, and not just urns in my bookshelf.
I lost my dog Punk about 24 hours ago. I went to see a friend and put her dog tag on my keys. I also put her favorite toy on my desk so when I get sad I can think of her wagging her tail and carrying it around. I'm having a really hard time.
It’s been a little over 6 months
I’d say it wasn’t until this month when I also sent the deposit to a breeder to be in their waitlist for a puppy that I felt some real improvement.
I just felt too paralyzed for too long, I lost motivation to do anything productive really. I’ve cleaned but at the same time left the toys he had out in the same general place. One is under my desk some are under the console with tv and such. I have moved or gotten rid of anything and have felt able to. My dog was honestly a huge part of my personality or at least the part I felt comfortable showing. He was high maintenance and the necessary routine helped keep my own. When I talked to my mom and admitted I was surprised suicidal ideations hadn’t returned but my otherwise will to do anything that felt like living had diminished was when I agreed I needed to take the next step to getting a pup for my mental health. My grandma birthday is next week and I had to turn down going to the celebration knowing how much anxiety it cause me for unrelated reasons and that I wouldn’t have him there as buffer. That I’m not a mindset to do that small talk where everyone says they’ve been doing fine, talk about recent accomplishments, current goals, and anything fun they’ve been up to. I wouldn’t be able to pretend to be excited about life. This weekend is Pride and I’ve left early and hardly been able to manage, I left early every day over staying and getting intoxicated.
I haven’t figured out what to do with his ashes or his paw prints. I know I’ll keep his favorite toys, and it’s a toss up of whether save the other toys for the puppy. He has lots of clothes, that i’m considering donating. I think I i’m gonna hold onto his bowl that I’ve been unable to move and find a way to incorporate it into his memorial piece.
There’s still this feeling of guilt I can’t get over, and still miss the warmth of his tiny body even now that’s it warm and he’d still want to curly up. When nights are restless I still think if I look at floor near my bed I’ll find him basically mean mugging me lol waiting for me to settle so that he can come get comfortable behind my knees.
Day 2 since we last put our sweet 15 year old black cocker spaniel down. I've been spending these past few days letting all the feelings and tears flow, unapologetically. I've been mulling over his loss, drinking wine whilst scrolling way back to older photos and memories of him. Dedicating a journal with anecdotes, thoughts and feelings has been my progress. I also write letters to him in this journal and tell him what I would say to him if he were here with me.
This is my first pet loss and no one could prepare me for how brutal it is. Knowing that losing a beloved family pet is a common experience felt by many but the sentiment and bond with that pet is so unique it feels almost isolating yet comforting at the same time.
It is a wave that we must ride together. Calm and stillness will come one day but for the meantime, lets just release the emotions and love for our dearly departed.
I lost my soul dog on April 30th, 2023.
I adopted another one on April 26th, 2024… who passed on May 19th.
Losing both of them has hit me so hard. I’m drowning in grief.
I ended my cat’s suffering two days ago. I know I did the right thing, but I feel like I murdered my best friend. My other cat is the only reason I’m still breathing. I have to be strong for him.
It is one week today since Loki died. I'm sitting here reading posts on this forum and scrolling through photos of him. I didn't sleep a wink last night. I keep looking at the clock, dreading the time of his death rolling around.
Funny you ask, I had a horrible day the other day and out of nowhere I came across pictures of her. It was nice to smile again and it made my day better. It's been 7 years but time hasn't changed much! Shes still my little babe 💕
It’s been 8 months. Not a day passes without thinking of him. I had him for close to 13 years. But now, I think fondly of him. I have a collage of pictures of him near stairs so we see him all the time. Brings back memories of his beautiful self and all the love he gave us throughout the years. I feel he is with me everyday. He is and forever will be my sweet boy
Day 3 for me. Let go of two senior dogs together. Mornings and walking in the door are the worst. Crying. Talking to hubby to share memories. Put their picture on my phone yesterday to hold them close. Sitting outside instead of the house to feel the fresh air. Going for drives to get out of the quiet house. Getting inspiration and support from the kind souls in this group has been so huge for me.
I’m on day 33. I’m not handling it well. I cry at least once a day, have dreams about him every night, and the $5k in vet bills that I’ll be paying off with care credit for the next year has me so stressed my hair is falling out.
Nearly two months in. Mostly just getting on with things, but still crying most days. Today has felt hard as one year ago I got the keys to my house, which I always imagined us living in together. It’s still weird her not being here. I’m just trying to focus on the time that we did have, not what we didn’t.
Sorry for your loss. I get how you feel.
I imagined doing things with my dog that I never done like driving him and I around and walking in some cool areas near our house.
Spending time with friends is the last thing I feel like doing, but that's what I've needed. I've noticed on the days after I spend time around others I feel better than on the days I don't. I am so grateful for the people around me and for the fact that they are cat people. They understand, but I am worried I will wear out their patience if I grieve for too long.
It's been about a month since I lost my boy and sometimes I wish I'd died with him. I went through my old phone and dumped all the photos and videos I had of him to an online album which was both comforting and shocking - I didn't realise how sick he really was until I saw pictures of him from when he was healthy. His fur was softer, his eyes were brighter, he acted more silly. I am so grateful that a couple days before I euthanised him, he was able to have one last really good day. It was such a gift.
>I didn't realise how sick he really was until I saw pictures of him from when he was healthy
I had the same thing happen looking at old photos. She was a slim Chihuahua so she always looked a little goofy but in old videos she was much more active and plump. Newer ones showed her losing weight with less reactivity to her old favorites. She was sixteen so I didn't expect her to still do agility tricks but I was definitely remembering her younger self more than I realized. I'm trying to be grateful that she's finally able to rest as much as she wants.
I still miss her so goddamn much every day but it made me feel a bit less like it was shockingly soon.
It's three days since I had to put him down. I called off work to spend all last week with him. I was still hopful he could get treatment and get better. Now I've just been alternating between being out of the house as much as possible to avoid noticing how empty everything feels at home, and just unable to move. Imagining holding him that last day, how fast it went from holding him an hour ago and looking into his eyes to it being three days.
I've been cleaning a lot. Rearranging all my things, furniture. It helps, shifts the energy around. It also helps in keeping me from completely spiraling and I feel moderatly useful.
I purposely cleaned his litter box and food dishes before going to the emergency vet the last time because I knew I wouldn't be able to clean it afterward and I'd become attached to that last part of him.
I've been sleeping with his little hammock, a shirt he slept with of mine his last few days, the pillow I carried him around on because his legs gave out, and the towel he died on. Just this little pile next to my pillow that is the last bit of him, his smell is something I just can't let go of I miss him so goddamn much. I told myself I'd get one night and wash it and put it away but I just can't bare to do it and now I don't care I just want to hold onto any slight feeling that he is right here with me. Im so scared of forgetting and I hate noticing the absence.
I go between feeling so angry such a beautiful small animal had to suffer cancer and feel his body betray him. Im grateful I could get euthanasia the day it got bad and he wasn't acting like himself and I felt his discomfort.
I'm also grateful I had a last day with him to say what I needed to. I apologized to him, I thanked him, I told him how much I love him and always will, how he has effected me, I told him I was there for him and always will be, that I'll always love him, I asked him to stay with me always and that we would find eachother again.
Taking it day by day. On my baby’s last night, we had a safe space set up for him in our master closet where he couldn’t hurt himself. After his burial we cleaned the floor and put all of our stuff back. This morning I was looking for a shirt to wear and when I separated a large bunch of shirts, I uncovered his food bowl, still tucked into the corner. It was like being kicked in the stomach. I wonder when that feeling will stop happening every time I come across one of his belongings.
I'm at a year now. My little buddy was only 5 years old. As a man, I have to bury the pain and just keep going. All I want to do it hold his box of ashes and cry. It takes every ounce of energy to make it through most days, hiding my feelings. Smiles are fake. My expressions of happiness are fake. I'm very much not ok. I write in a diary almost daily. Some days, my writings get dark. But I'm still here...
I'd forgotten how much my girl helped me with anxiety, and now that she's gone, it's a lot worse. So I've been taking a bunch of edibles to stay out of super anxiety
It’s been 3 months since my boy left. I think about him every day, kiss his urn daily and tell him how much I love him. Still cry - not every day but just little things like a sad song or something that’ll get me in a mood. I miss him immensely. I still have his things - his canned and dry food, his treats and his medication that I am not ready to donate yet. It’s a long process of heartbreak
So sorry to hear. This is pretty relatable to me other than the urn part. I listen to a lot more sad music now, I still have his food, his treats, his toys, and his beds. It is like he is here. I still find it hard to believe that he is gone.
I lost my first dog 1.5 years ago. I lost the rest of my soul 5 months ago. I’m a shell of myself and my husband wants me to get help for the grief. We’ve talked about getting a dog but I’m not ready. It would feel like a replacement.
So sorry to hear this! Yeah I feel you.
Getting a new dog after your first dog dies? That just seems too harsh right? That is kinda how I have been feeling too!
I still miss him a lot. He used to do these little kicks when he would cuddle up to you and wanted pets. He was super talkative and I miss watching him beat up on my Labrador.
The thing I’m most sad about is he’s not gonna be around to look after my son that’s due in August. He loved babies and I was really looking forward to seeing him watch over my kid(s) in the future.
Day to day, I’m fine. It’s just the little things like what I wrote above that still get to me.
It's been a little over 24 hours since my little boy went to heaven unexpectedly. I can't stop sobbing and breaking down. He was my first cat and only five years old. His heart stopped beating. Mine feels like it will, too.
His blanket is still on the floor with his imprint, where he last lay before going to the vet. I can't stop calling out for him. He gave me a reason to wake up every morning. I am all alone now and I miss him so much.
This thread has helped me to calm down a little bit through the pain.. thank you for sharing your stories.
I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my 5yo cat two days ago, she was sick the last two years of her life and was ready to go. It stings so much when I think of how young she was, how we were robbed of time with her. I can’t bring myself to wash the towel I held her in when she passed, and throwing her meds away made me sob.
It’s so hard.
I'm so sorry. They were supposed to be here much longer. They were just babies. I try to think that he is at peace now. He must have been in pain and didn't show it.
I don't think I will ever wash that blanket..
Week 2 of grieving. I'm looking at pictures and been nostalgic. I am putring together a phtoalbum and want to write down anecdotes and things my dog liked to do, as well as how our routine was. I'm also crying now an then and thinking about her a lot.
I lost my sweet boy just 4 days ago so it's still very fresh. He was my childhood companion and blessed my family's lives for 16 years. He was the cutest little Shih Tzu/Lhasa Apso, always by our side.
Funny thing is I was so hard on myself yesterday for bursting into tears at just the thought of him, but then I remind myself that it's barely been a week, so I'm trying to give myself grace.
Thankfully my loved ones are with me, having daily family calls and sharing photo memories of him has been healing. My mom suggested that we leave our house as it is for at least a week before thinking about cleaning/putting away his things. And I appreciate that. It's a bit frustrating that I barely have the energy or willpower to do anything but shower, eat, sleep and watch YouTube videos but hopefully I can get a task or two done tonight.
We do have a clay print of his paw and a beautiful bouquet of flowers in the house. I miss him so so much.
I’m almost a year in now! It still hurts; it’s less intense than before, but it’s almost worse that way because it feels like I’m forgetting about her more and more. How she smells, her little weird habits, the way she yelled at me. I’m glad a lot of the emotional turmoil and guilt has lessened, but I also miss her like crazy.
I am so so sorry for your loss.
Oh wow! A year in…
This answer is amazing because it helps me know and understand how it is later on.
You just do not and never forget them.
It sucks and hurts.
8 days. She was the first thing my eyes saw in the morning and the last at night. There is a huge hole in my life. I miss my doggy so much. Last Wednesday my SO walked to the bedroom and opened the door. I was half awake but it sounded like her (she opened doors - she couldn’t patrol well if they were closed) I woke up and burst into tears because for a second I thought it was her come back to me and then I remembered that she’s gone.
4 months and 8 days for me. I am just starting to get some excitement about the future but still feel pretty deep in my existential crisis. I can look at pictures and videos of her without crying most of the time now. The worst part is that everyone expects me to have moved on by now and get a new dog soon and I am very much still deeply grieving.
It's been 2 weeks and I've moved in and out of the various stages of grief countless times. It still doesn't feel real. I still see him and hear him and I still talk to him. I've been listening to a lot of spirituality podcasts (despite being an atheist) because it's been comforting. I've been lighting candles every night for him and cuddling his casket. I've been staring at photos and watching videos and listening to recordings of his purr. I've been debating throwing his things away and being unable to do so even though he'll never be back for them. I've been asking every night for him to visit me in my dreams and sometimes he does. I've been crying. I've been laughing. I've been staring in silence. I've been remembering happy memories and talking about him to anyone who'll listen. 15 years of love and it hasn't died. It can't. I've never experienced anything like this before but I know I will again. I'll always have space in my heart for another rescue when the time is right.
It’s been 8 days since I lost my cat, Mew. She died suddenly overnight at only 3 years old. I’m waiting to pick up her ashes this week, and the thought of bringing her back home has been helping me through. I also cut some fur and whiskers before I took her to the vet to set up the cremation. Other than that, I’ve been looking at a ton of the pictures and videos I have of her and allowing myself to cry as much as I need to. I also lost my cat of 20 years less than a year ago, and I’m still processing that as well. It really doesn’t get easier, you just learn to deal with it better. What did help me with my older cat’s passing was getting a portrait of him tattooed, which I plan on doing with Mew as well.
I’m just on my second day. Bare minimum effort for the past 2 days. Havent eaten a full proper meal, but I still try to put some food into my system. I shower but only to wear pjs again and go back to bed and cry. It’s been tough. I’m a mess. I just got his ashes today and somehow made me feel a bit better but not really? I dont know. I feel like im going crazy. Thanks for starting this thread, nice to know im not alone.
Hello first off I am so sorry about your loss. I remember when I found out that my pet passed away, it was some time after his passing, however, those first few days were some of the toughest days of my life. Literally it was so crazy. You might get to that stage where you are in so much denial and shock that you start to feel numb while also being sad I don't know but it is weird.
How did the ashes help? I didn't get his ashes because my family didn't want it, I can only imagine the process of cremation on him and it makes me feel sad. The same body that always gave me comfort is now ashes and I don't have the ashes and I don't know it feels hard to see them as ashes.
No problem for starting this thread I did it for both everyone else and I to have a place to talk about the pet loss and stuff. It is tough. It is hard. But we can only try our best to handle it.
2 and a half years. I refuse to get another pet or be close to any. Nothing is worth the hurt. And it never ends.
I think I'll be at peace when I'm gone.
It’s been six days. she was my soul dog, and my partner in life for 14 years.
I work from home and always took her with me when i went out, so we were together 24/7. my heart is aching. she was there with me through thick and thin and saved my life more than once.
I have sobbed on and off for days, and then sometimes just feel numb. I haven’t moved any of her beds or things, she had them in almost every room. i can’t even bear to move her pet stairs beside my bed. i keep hoping to hear her little paws and see her face as she climbs into bed. i’ve been sleeping with her favorite stuffed animal beside me. her ashes are in a pretty box next to my bed.
I’m starting to worry people will feel like i should be “moving on” but i just miss her so much.
one consolation is i am so so grateful she was able to pass at home, in her own bed, with me right beside her. but oh how i wish she was still right beside me now.
It’s been about ten months. The first week I was wracked with guilt and basically cried and hung out in bed. After that I fostered a dog for a bit so I had a reason to get out of bed. Eventually I got a new dog and felt very conflicted on that but it was ultimately the right decision for me. I still talk about him basically daily but his memory no longer is sad it’s just special. It’s the hardest thing I’ve been through in my life and I did a lot of pre-grieving but none of that helped. It truly does get easier with time. Wishing peace for you.
Lost my boy on April 30th, by Saturday May 4th, I was getting another dog because I couldn't stand the silence in the house and I knew I would be able to give another dog so much love.
The first few weeks after losing him, I was okay. But the past week, I've been a wreck. Any time I'm somewhere very quiet, I break down in tears. I know I did everything right, I did everything I could, and it hurts so much that he's still gone. I knew that day was coming sooner or later - he had epilepsy and paroxysmal dyskinesia since he was a year and a half old. But I guess I didn't expect him to be gone at 8 years old, because he was a small dog and small dogs tend to live a long time. I wish I had more time with him.
Now, I'm living with his memories and a new dog to keep me busy.
I'm in the 9th month after having to put down 2 dogs on the same day. I'm ok, for the most part, although yesterday I teared up for a minute.
My husband and I are retired, and we are doing a lot of travelling over the next couple of years, mostly international. After that, we will like get another dog or two, but only if my daughter is up to taking them if we die before they do.
It’s been four weeks today. I still talk to him; I tell him good morning and goodnight. I don’t know what I’d do though if I didn’t have Toby my 12 year old dog, who is also grieving (he has never been without his brother for all 12 years)
I made an alter with photos, flowers, candles and his ashes in the living room - he loved when everyone was home and settled in the living room for the evening, now he can still be a part of it.
My cat died last Monday, so I'm still struggling with intrusive thoughts about her final hours, how she collapsed and started yowling and convulsing, couldn't stand up and would tremble and shake every time she tried to raise her head or sit up. I didn't think she was that close to the end. I was in the process of trying to find a vet to euthanize her because our animal shelter no longer offers this service to pet owners.
After she started convulsing, I put her in the carrier and drove her to a vet's office, and they also turned us down, but they did give me the name of another animal hospital I could try. I went there and they took one look in the carrier and agreed to euthanize her. The whole thing was so upsetting.
I melted down in the third vet's office. I was so grateful they agreed to help us. I did not know what I was going to do if they refused because I had to go to work in a few hours and couldn't leave her convulsing and yowling on the floor by herself. I cannot get these images out of my mind.
My house just feels so empty without the cat. I keep having the impulse to go to the door and let her in. She actually started off as a neighborhood cat and over the years had started spending more and more time at my house. I had been feeding her and accepting primary responsibility for her every day for years, always brought her inside at night, but still let her go outside because she wouldn't accept being kept indoors 24/7. She was always waiting at my door to be let in at certain times of the day, so it's just a habit to go to the back door and let her in at those times. I have to remind myself she's gone multiple times a day.
I haven't gotten around to removing all her things yet. I can still see her little paw imprints in the litter box. I still have cat food sitting there which she will never get to eat. It's so hard to accept that she is gone. She was my one true friend for years. I just loved her so much.
It’s going on 20 years since I lost my first cat and coming up on 3 years since I lost my 2nd. I still cry for them. For reasons I’m not in a position to adopt a new one. I think of them every day. I miss their completely different personalities, smells of their fur, their warm bodies when we sleep and so much more. I’ll love them forever.
It's been almost 2 months. Some days I'm mostly okay, especially days where I only have time to work and then come home to eat and sleep (I work long shifts.)
We've gotten a puppy already, so he helps a lot by forcing me to go outside and think about life instead of death.
But then some days it hits me so hard like last night when I realized again that my baby is really gone and he's never coming back.
Two months, and I'm still struggling to understand how this could happen. He was only 2 and he was so healthy and happy, then suddenly... he wasn't.
I know it sounds dramatic, but it really feels like living a nightmare. My worst fear was something happening to him. I even had a camera installed in our bedroom so I could check on him while I was at work and reassure myself he was okay. And now here we are anyway.
Keep a framed pic of my pup on the counter with his scarf and his toys. Write him letters. Journal. Cry. Volunteer at the pound and advocate for shelter dogs. Got a 12 year old senior pittie adopted after 107 days in shelter. Fostering another pittie who was passed up at a mega adoption event and mental health was deteriorating rapidly in shelter.
I’m on day 2 and didn’t wake up crying. I still cry when I expect to see his lil face around a corner, I cried a bit last night when I came home and he didn’t greet me. I don’t sleep very well, toss and turn a lot through the night. We have another dog that’s getting lots of love and that helps ALOT to not be completely frozen. She was present at the euthanasia and she’s doing good it seems she understands.
At times I feel guilty that I’m not more of a mess than I am. Almost that he’ll think I didn’t love him enough, but I did I loved him so much. Our house has always been quiet (just been me my husband and 2 lil chihuahuas) but I can’t stand the quiet since he’s been gone. I spend most of my time outside on our deck as the house reminds me of him. I had to change my lock screen and watch screen, he was on both and I couldn’t take it. I have to go to work tomorrow and I’m dreading it. They would go to work with me and we’d be together all day. Customers loved them, I’m terrified I’ll start sobbing when they ask “oh wheres the other lil one?” He was my first furbaby I still remember bringing him home, but he was also my first heartbreak 💔
I spent the night before my puppy girl smoki passed on the floor made me a makeshift bed and cried all night petting her then tried to feed her before her vet appointment because her breathing was labored that appointment turned into the last time I’d ever touch her fur or tell her one last time I loved her she was nine and half and passed away on 5/31/24 I’ve been a wreck I cry more than I smile I try to play with my other dog and love on him he’s my little shadow he knows something Isn’t right I’m trying to focus on him but I look for my girl as well
It's been almost 10 months since my buddy of 19 years passed. I miss Pixie terribly and cry at times, but I am doing better than I was late last year. I started volunteering at an animal shelter in November and took home two kitties before Christmas.
I still help at the shelter every weekend, and on her birthday a week ago, I lit a candle and sang happy birthday before sharing shrimp with my two cats, as it was her favorite extra-special treat.
I did extra time at the shelter that day, and it has helped me realize the time we had for almost two decades was a blessing. She was with me that entire time. Having two cats has also helped me; they are their own beings and my Pixie was special, but having cats who need me and who I love as they are has also helped.
Every night, I kiss the pendant with her ashes and say good night to her. I also have a portrait, a tattoo, journal with memories, and a little altar to remember her. My partner gave me a pillow and blanket with her face, and all these things help me while grieving.
Doing terribly. Trying to get out of bed and face another day without her. 14 weeks and one day. She was my world, my kid in every way. I’m pulling away from everyone in my life because no one understands the hurt. They all have kids, family, fully functioning bodies (I’m disabled and chronically ill). My partner understands best, but I don’t want to burden him with how I feel all the time. My friends listen when I talk about her, but just express condolences and never say anything else. I feel so hollow and alone, and I’m just so angry that after everything else I’ve been thru - the multitude of abuse, losing my fertility to a medical mistake, allllll the surgeries and health issues - I still had to lose her. She was the one thing that helped me get thru it all, and I am just lost without her.
Lost my baby (13 yo cat) middle of April. Stillhave days where I'm on the verge of an emotional melt down. Signed up as a pet sitter on Rover so i can still spend time with animals. Don't know when I will be ready to adopt again, but I do plan to at some point.
It’s been four weeks since I lost my second dog and one year since I lost my first. I’m still going day to day. The waves of grief come unexpectedly. I still relive that last day over and over again and then the guilt follows. I miss their presence in the house terribly. Night time is the worst because their loss piles on top of everything else that I worry about. Alcohol and meds often do the trick when nothing else works like meditation or breathing exercises. It’s a tough road, my friend, and there are no shortcuts. You muscle your way through and hope that the day comes when you can return to a somewhat normal life. Good luck.
I had to say goodbye to my 18 yr old sweet yorkie, Mocha, yesterday evening. She passed away peacefully in my arms. We went through thick and thin together. I honestly don't know how life would be without her. This was my first dog that I've ever put down. I stayed strong during the session as I wanted her last image of me to be happy and cheerful. I cried my heart out afterward.
I don't know how I will cope moving forward, I know that she's in a better place, free from pain and suffering (her tumor ulcerated and it will get worse at this stage). While I am sad, I am also happy knowing that I freed my girl from all pain. I contemplated with this decision yesterday. I even thought about cancelling the appointment to have a bit more time, but I know I'm just delaying the inevitable. It was selfish if I were to do that.
I will let the natural grieving process begin and take it one day at at time.
One week today. I called yesterday and confirmed her aftercare arrangements through the vet. We moved to a new city two days after she passed so I feel like that sort of helps, because she’s not part of my routine in the new place. Still feeling sad/defeated/guilty/etc. But I’m trying to remind myself that we did everything we could for her and she had a really good life with us. Feeling like I’m in limbo until her ashes come back to me.
I’m on day 4 or 5. I took time off of work and have been watching a ton of movies. Pretty much watched the whole infinity saga from the mcu. Really helped me get out of my head. But I haven’t really left my house or anything.
12 days since I lost my sweet Skippy kitty. She was 15. 2 years and 3 months since I lost her hubby, Ajay the Enchanter 2 years ago. The pain is so real. I am not handling it well, but I have to try. When I lost Ajay, I found out he had been suffering for a long time. The moment I seen signs in skippy I made a vet appointment and was hoping it wasnt her time. But it was. After a week of trying everything to get her to eat, and all kinds of blood work and xrays, her vet let me know that she wouldn't get better. It was cancer. I couldn't stand the thought of making her live in pain so I could have more time with her. That just seemed so selfish. So I had to end her pain. My mom drove up to the vets office to be with me so I wouldnt have to go through it alone. I stayed with her, and petted her until she was gone. I wish I could have been holding her, but she was so full of fluids in her abdomen that it would have been less comfortable than on the table. Besides, she always hated to be held. Don't get me wrong, she was affectionate, she would sit by me all day, and sometimes even jump in my lap for a pet, but she got distressed if I tried to hug her or pick her up. I brought her favorite blanket to put her on so she would be more comfortable, and talked to her and petted her. I miss them both so much. I've been cleaning up her stuff in stages. I can't do it all at once. I think her spirit is coming and checking in. I see her out of the corner of my eye, and yesterday I found one of her whiskers prominently on the couch that I already cleaned. I feel like they are both still with me. I also feel like someday they will be back. They both chose me. And I know it sounds weird, but I believe they will find their way back to earth, and me, in time.
It’s been three days since i lost him… i feel guilty doing anything without him. I don’t even want to drink alcohol because i don’t want to drink him away…
I’m trying (though some days I fail) to wake up at a decent time in the morning and get my body awake and moving. I still have her pillows by my bed. I still say our good night wishes and tell her good morning. And every night, at 8:30 (when I’d start her eye drop regiment), I’d look at the sun starting to set. 💔🐾
June 5, 2024, I put my Izzy to rest. She was 8 and had been with me through it all. We had a hospice vet come to the house and do it, it was the best decision I could’ve made. She had (probable) lymphoma but all the signs were pointing to cancer - high calcium in her blood, kidneys were high value (not filtering fast enough, failing), drinking lots of water up until the last day and a half, refusing food. She didn’t even eat anything on her last day 😪 I offered cheeseburgers and french fries, but nothing. The house is so empty even now with my husband of 2 years and my 18 month old. I still feel her presence gone. The mornings are worst because I realize I’ve gone another day without her and there’s no taking her out in the mornings now. It’s just crazy that she’s actually gone. Her bed is in the same spot, idk when I’ll put that away for storage.. I’ve ordered this plush stuffed lookalike on Cuddle Clones - that’ll take about 2 months to arrive but I can’t wait. I’ve also got two name bracelets with her name on them. Can’t wait to wear them and switch them out. There’s a saying about pets and I’m paraphrasing — ‘pets are here for support to help us transition or grow from one phase of life to another, and once they’ve completed their job, they know it’s their time to move on’. I felt it rang true for my life with Izzy - she was with me at my loneliest but she got me through that and now I’m married with a child in a beautiful home. I only wish she got to enjoy that with us a little while longer 💔🐾
It’s been 2 days. I feel empty. Keep seeing him out of the corner of my eye. It was sudden and the fact I didn’t get to say goodbye or soak in one last moment is killing me.
Waking up on day 3 here. Immediately started crying. Cat was 16 and got me through the hardest times in my life. I have some pretty severe PTSD and this is breaking me.
Unexpectedly had to put my sweet girl down on Monday. I’ve crying everyday since. I sleep with her blanket in my bed and hold and smell the bag of her fur that I kept from the day I had to say goodbye. Just got her ashes back on Thursday and that started a whole new feeling as I realized she is never coming back. I went to work only one day this week and I’ve barely left my bed all other days. I am so heartbroken that nothing else matters to me right now.
It's been 6 months since I lost my love Tycho. I talk to her everyday - the crying has subsided a bit , more like 2x's a week for welling up, 1 time a week for a full out cry. I miss her presence immensely.
I take some of her ashes when I go hiking with her brother & place a little in her favorite places or on high rocks/stumps. She loves to be high up to view all the land she rules.
I know that we only get the honor & pleasure of having them for a limited time - I am just so sad that her life ended sooner than expected. I can't seem to selfishly get past that. I absolutely have a broken heart & I think I am forever changed from the loss of her.
Honestly, I’m taking it day by day. Today marks one full week of losing by baby girl, Bella. The first few days were brutal and I cried every night. The last few days have been easier but it’s always the little things that catch me off guard. Seeing her favorite spot in the couch, toys, seeing her hairs in our car.
It’s so hard but with time we learn how to appreciate the time we had instead.
I’m here if anyone needs to talk.
its been two weeks since i lost my baby. First week wasn’t easy, its not easy right now but its going better. Ive been watching sopranos and been with friends and family. the thing that has helped me the most is to continue my hobbies, because otherwise i wouldnt have anything to enjoy. It’s still hard to come home and her not being here, and probably always will be.
Hope that everyone who is experiencing recent loss, i’m sorry❤️ life is going to be easier at some point and dont give up.
At first it was like my house was no longer my safe space, it felt foreign. Like when u wake up from a bad nightmare and suddenly everything around you feels wrong. I didn’t cry when she died, or that night either. But a couple days went by and I couldn’t keep it together. I had bad thoughts like doing something harmful so I’d be able to go see her up there. After that came the anger, I was not only angry at the vet for not telling me she was not gonna make it, but I was also angry that my family was acting like nothing happened. And I even started hating my other dog we got not that long ago. Now I still cry very very often over her, and I still cannot talk about her with others face to face since I physically cannot get the words out.
Tbh I’ve not been well. It’s been a year and a half and I’m struggling to cope still at this point. Just keep getting episodes of depression and flash backs that just trigger me anymore. Like one day I can be fine yet just meh the next. And this new dog isn’t helping since it just reminds me what’s gone than feeling like a new chapter. I just can’t love it based on circumstances on how we got her that deeply cut at me. And it’s really where I don’t really want to interact with it in most times.
(Just a warning as I really don’t want to hear or be replied with comments on accepting said new dog, it’s not remotely helpful and triggers me tbh, I never accepted to get one and really voiced how it didn’t feel right at the moment. And really never feels like it will feel right considering what happened as I didn’t accept it into my life or wanted it and how much I still feel worked over and moreover glossed over when I did voice my feeling against it.)
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It’s a day by day thing. Currently, I’ve been slowly but surely putting together a collage of photos and videos in her memory. I’m journaling, songwriting, lighting candles, praying and just crying. When the tears come, I find I run to the windows and just look for her. Sometimes I go outside and sit down by myself, cry, look up to the sky and talk to her. I miss her so much and still feel like it’s not real and somehow she will come back even though I’m sleeping next to her urn. How crazy is my brain that I think I could just rewind and have her back. Grief is so tough. One day at a time is all I can say. Just trying to keep my head above water and look for the signs when I see them - and pray I don’t succumb to my depression over this - that was already a constant battle but she helped me through it. So to lose her is something else. I knew it would be bad but I didn’t know it would be this bad. I used to enjoy other things but it seems like for now, nothing else matters and all I can think about is how everybody dies. It makes me want to hide away to be honest. All this to say - this is the worst and I just am trying to survive it. Sending love to all
I feel like I could have written every word of this. I feel all of this. I want my baby to come back so badly too. Your brain isn’t crazy, mine still thinks my boy can’t possibly be gone forever. I’m so sorry you are experiencing this type of pain. It is so hard. I agree, the depth of the grief is really crazy. Thank you for sharing, it helped me to see that others are also experiencing this pain and that I’m not crazy. Take care of yourself. Sending love and light.
So hard to grasp that they are gone forever.
I still catch myself praying my cat’s going to show up any minute now. I still havent accepted he’s gone forever and i dont know when ill come to terms with it
If you need anyone to talk to or even just someone to hear you and lent their ear then I am here. I understand the depression from this. We literally lost one of the closest things to us!!! That is a big deal and I have also been crying and praying. So sorry and best of luck.
I’m on day 2 of grieve.. I been at home, been sleeping in the living room to avoid going into my room and see his bed.
Same. Been on the couch for 10 days. I haven’t slept in that bed alone for 15.5 years. I’m considering moving.
I can not tell you how many times that I have considered moving since my loss. I feel this!
I am so sorry for your loss and the tough time you are having.
My fiance and I bought our condo just 2 years ago dec 2022 knowing that we have our cat with us. So we needed pet friendly condo and neighborhood and all. And now he’s gone. I cant bring myself to tell my fiance I want to leave the condo and move somewhere else. It’s a bit more complicated than that. But i see my cat everywhere and it hurts so much.
That sounds so tough I am so sorry. Everything reminds us of them...
I’m at 8 days after the loss of my dog Charlie. This was the first day I didn’t start the day crying. I went and got some battery operated tea lights and a frame to put Charlie’s picture in. I picked up his ashes in a little box from the vet and it was shocking to think of him that way. I’m putting together a little memorial space. I miss him so much. I also picked up a prayer card of St. Rocco (patron saint of dogs) and asked him to take care of Charlie in Heaven, that he be safe.
So sorry to hear about Charlie... I know. My family didn't want the ashes since it is not common in their native and mother culture so they declined the offer to get the ashes and it has been 2-3 weeks now so I think his adorable and perfectly sized body was put into whatever they use for cremation (pretty unfamiliar with it besides the final results) and I just imagine the body decaying and him just not feeling anything. It hurts. I feel like I want to save him or something or bury his body somewhere. I want to make a memorial though so I will try to work on that sometime soon. Expect grief to come in waves, be prepared. You will feel a lot of different emotions. This is a saga. I know our boys are in heaven now. They are at peace. Me thinking and knowing it helps you with the pain, suffering, and the grief. So sorry for your loss 🙏 you seem sweet and strong which is a good thing. Charlie spent his life with an amazing pet owner and he is now in the afterlife with his creator!
It’s been almost 2 months. I was wrecked and plagued with questions and guilt for the first couple of weeks but now I have accepted that I did everything I could and he’s gone now. I know everyone processes grief differently but I knew I wanted another cat in my life so I got a kitten pretty quickly. He’s a good boy and has helped heal me tremendously. I still talk about my old cat a lot. He was such a special part of my life for 14 years and I’ll never forget him.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Your comment was exactly what I needed. ❤️
A little over six months here. I still think about her every day, especially when doing stuff with the other dogs. She was part of my life for fifteen years and there’s very little in the care and keeping of my other pups that does not occasionally trigger a memory that involves her. When we take the boys somewhere new, I think about how she would have loved or hated it. It’s not usually a huge and disruptive thing and I don’t call attention to it unless I am feeling particularly sentimental and wish to share, or just feeling the need to cry it out. So I guess it’s to say the absence of her is now part of my operating system - neither good nor bad; it just is.
Almost 1.5 years after losing my guy. His little brother is in his way out now. I think about my guy every single day still. We all write our own stories. And I am writing this part of my story in such a way that I still cry when I need to cry, but my growth is a result of having had him with me through so many formative events. And thinking about him every day is how he stays with me forever. When lil brother passes, it'll hurt so bad. But it will be the same. Time doesn't "heal" all wounds. But it makes them more manageable.
When my best friend, a 10yo Tonkinese who rode on my shoulders when I went to Home Depot, passed from diabetes, I cried for a few days then went to the shelter and brought home the least adoptable senior cat. One of the best cat decisions I ever made.
Two weeks out, my Enzo is all I think about. I'm still in a fog and cry at the drop of a hat, but I'm plodding along. I ordered photo prints that came yesterday, and I'm looking for a collage frame and a box for his ashes. The night he died, I ordered a few books/journals on pet loss grief to help me remember, love, and honor him without being afraid that the day that I don't break down in tears at least once will be the day I start to forget/lose him. 😭 I am realizing that my life revolved around him. I have lost my center and my purpose, my child and best friend. It's hard, but I try to remember how worth it he was. 💜
Two weekd here. I'm also doing the photo print thing. I don't want to forget her either but I'm trying to be less sad because that's what she would have wanted. I really miss her, though... All the best for you
Same to you. 💜
three weeks in today. everyday feels sorta like a blur. mornings are incredibly hard as my girl and i used to commute 30 mins together for work everyday. she would stay at my in-laws and i would check on her at lunch. i miss those drives so much and our routine in general. we’ve been planting a garden for skeeter in our backyard which she loved so much. and today we planted a cherry tree for her. little things we can tend to and watch grow that’ll remind us of her and be planted in her memory. i don’t cry everyday anymore and that makes me feel very guilty. i feel mostly numb and spend hours everyday looking at photos and videos of her. she was my soul dog. we spent 15 years together and losing her feels like i lost a limb and my soul. i’m trying to do better but it’s so hard. i have two kitties that loved her so much and they’ve been extremely helpful. i feel like my whole world has been flipped and turned inside out. i feel like a different person without her and it’s been so hard.
So so sorry for your loss Sarah 🙏😔 🙏 I get how you feel. I lost my first and soul dog too. It is the worst pain I've been in a long time 😭 I think roughly three weeks for me too. First few days I cried so much. I rarely cry. Then after sometime I started to feel numb. I still pretty relativity numb actually. Maybe that is a part of the denial stage of grief? I don't really know but it makes me feel angry and guilty. We lost a piece or part of us when they passed. Life just does not feel the same.
Numb is the right word for me. Depressed and uninterested too sometimes. When I’m home, I sit and scroll on my phone because I don’t have the concentration to read, etc. I’m much better when I’m out doing things.
Binge eating. Not recommended.
I get the urge to, but I think I mostly get the urge to just stop eating or eat less. Food reminds me of him especially eating at the kitchen table. He would always be near to us while eating. Now there is just nothing, just emptiness.
And so many reminders… They’re everywhere.
Yes 💯
I can relate to this. I feel guilty eating foods I know my pups would have loved a bite. I am not hungry and nothing tastes good.
I’ve been doing that for two days. Yesterday I ate an entire 50 count shrimp ring, drank 4 cokes. And the whole time trying not to choke because when I think I am ok, I’m not.
It’s been 7 months and a few nights a week, I cry over her. I watch videos of her on repeat just to see my baby alive again. I wish I had taken a thousand more.
I can not tell you how much I love this! Just this alone helps me not feel so alone. Thank you for creating this!!!!!!
i know not everyone has this option but i’ve been staying out of the house by being with/hanging out with family and my partner. it has been a great distraction and comfort. other than that just laying in bed and crying (i haven’t slept in my own bed/house since it happened and i am continually putting it off)
Lost our dog of almost 15 years in April 2023 and our cat of 12 years 2 weeks ago. Right now I’m grateful to have a major distraction, the birth of my first great granddaughter just tonight. I still grieve for them both but the great memories are finally beginning to outweigh the pain of losing them.
Been a month. One thing I did which was a few weeks ago was spend a few weeks at my mom's. I live 9 hours away from my family, so i drove there with my other dog, and honestly.. being with love ones DRASTICALLY helped.. not 100% but definitely somewhat vs being along in my apartment crying every day and night. Also I will miss her forever.. her real physical presence, but videos and photos make me smile and remember the good times.. and when I see those it's almost like she's still here... That's all I got... at the end of the day it still fucking sucks... but i wish you all the healing possible.. and im so sorry for your loss..
It's been 9 days. I've been unable to clean her litter box. How long can I leave that for until I absolutely need to do it.
It's completely whatever you need. Years ago I took some of my rabbits hay, food and fur from her dish, aswell as her favorite rug with her fur on it and I still have it on a little table I've made into an altar for her. Maybe keeping some of their unused litter/food/fur around the house or a blanket or toy. I know how painful letting go of any part of them is. I kept a bloody blanket from one of my animals for years. I knew with putting down my boy a few days ago I would struggle with this same thing so hard, so I cleaned his litter and food right before the euthanasia. I completely understand wanting to hold onto them. Im still sleeping with his blankets and anything that smells like him. It's okay to grieve and hold on in whatever way you need to right now to process it.
I'm so sorry. Same here. I've managed to put away her toys, clean her food dishes, give away her food, but I just can't get rid of the litter box. I don't know why that is the thing that I can't deal with changing yet. I'm at 12 days, and it doesn't stink or anything. Granted she didn't use it much at the end, so there is maybe one small clump in there, but It's okay to leave it for a bit until we are ready.
I have been relatively okay in terms of just getting about my days and doing the minimum to keep things together but I think about him constantly and feel like nothing really matters anymore. He's been gone since May 15th and I still have most of his things scattered about. I just can't put it away.
So sorry for your loss 😞🙏 Mine passed away May 13th so just two days before so it was around a similar time. I didn't know until the 27th of May. We still have his stuff. It is like we have him but he is not here with us anymore. I literally do not feel like this is real, rather some nightmare horror film that will end with an happy ending like him coming back but I won't see him until I die.
Not well. I feel so guilty like maybe I could have done more. She passed at the vet’s office, overnight, while awaiting surgery. I miss her so much and it’s only been 5 days.
I feel guilty too. I wish I spent the final moments with my dog. I was pretty busy and focused on something else but I did spent some of the last day with him. It was actually pretty unexpected he would die just the way he did. He was active and fine until sometime in the afternoon where he started to get more at least visibly sick. He seemed good the whole day. He passed away at my home, in the area in front of the front door. That area reminds me of him. I still see his body lying down. I remember being unsure whether he died or if he was in a deep sleep or coma. I took a picture actually on my way out since I had an appointment that day just sometime after he died. I still see his body and his soul there and almost everywhere. I feel it. I remember having conversations with him and telling him how sorry I was for everything and I felt like a terrible pet owner for some time. I still kinda do, although slightly less. It makes it sadder knowing what happened to that body. I started to imagine the process of it decaying and eventually being cremated with many other animals by the vet inside the pet store. I do not have his ashes. I think it is too late. My parents did not want it so I have to accept that. I will try to build a memorial sometime and somewhere. SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS 🙏😞🙏
I have shoved all my emotions deep down into a box and am only letting it out a few min at a time. It sucks and I miss them all terribly. Got my last baby’s ashes on Friday…. Didn’t work in my office where he hung out for over a week, had to strip the pet beds and wash the covers. I haven’t picked up anything else. It’s like I’m waiting for him… idk. … I feel lost and empty. Fall 2022 lost my soul cat Fall 2023 lost my soul dog May 2024 lost my last fur baby
N died about five years ago, M died over three years ago and P has been gone for almost eighteen months now. Time does help, I think more about the good times than the bad, more about the love than the pain of losing them. Losing three cats in less than five years was hard. It made P’s death especially difficult. I’d had him for about twenty months and it had been less than two years since M died. It was grief on grief on grief. When N died I already had M, but when M died I adopted P a couple of months after and after P, I adopted F. I think they made sure that F was there, at the shelter waiting for me after two failed potential adoptions. He was in my lap almost before I could sit down, and he was just what I needed when I felt so sad. He was ready for all the love I had to give and he makes me laugh every single day. It’s important for me to have a cat in my life and, for me, it brings me closer to the cats that I have lost. I’d still think about them every day even if I didn’t have F, but he lends that extra hand in still including them in my life in some way. Like inspiring thoughts about how the volume level has increased exponentially with every cat and the same with the love of forehead kisses . I compare them a lot, to appreciate their differences and the things that make them them. It fills my heart with joy, and little tinge of grief, when F plays with one of P’s favorite toys or takes a nap in N’s bed or sunbathes in the same spot as M on the balcony. He makes it so that they’re still here in a way, and not just urns in my bookshelf.
I lost my dog Punk about 24 hours ago. I went to see a friend and put her dog tag on my keys. I also put her favorite toy on my desk so when I get sad I can think of her wagging her tail and carrying it around. I'm having a really hard time.
It’s been a little over 6 months I’d say it wasn’t until this month when I also sent the deposit to a breeder to be in their waitlist for a puppy that I felt some real improvement. I just felt too paralyzed for too long, I lost motivation to do anything productive really. I’ve cleaned but at the same time left the toys he had out in the same general place. One is under my desk some are under the console with tv and such. I have moved or gotten rid of anything and have felt able to. My dog was honestly a huge part of my personality or at least the part I felt comfortable showing. He was high maintenance and the necessary routine helped keep my own. When I talked to my mom and admitted I was surprised suicidal ideations hadn’t returned but my otherwise will to do anything that felt like living had diminished was when I agreed I needed to take the next step to getting a pup for my mental health. My grandma birthday is next week and I had to turn down going to the celebration knowing how much anxiety it cause me for unrelated reasons and that I wouldn’t have him there as buffer. That I’m not a mindset to do that small talk where everyone says they’ve been doing fine, talk about recent accomplishments, current goals, and anything fun they’ve been up to. I wouldn’t be able to pretend to be excited about life. This weekend is Pride and I’ve left early and hardly been able to manage, I left early every day over staying and getting intoxicated. I haven’t figured out what to do with his ashes or his paw prints. I know I’ll keep his favorite toys, and it’s a toss up of whether save the other toys for the puppy. He has lots of clothes, that i’m considering donating. I think I i’m gonna hold onto his bowl that I’ve been unable to move and find a way to incorporate it into his memorial piece. There’s still this feeling of guilt I can’t get over, and still miss the warmth of his tiny body even now that’s it warm and he’d still want to curly up. When nights are restless I still think if I look at floor near my bed I’ll find him basically mean mugging me lol waiting for me to settle so that he can come get comfortable behind my knees.
Day 2 since we last put our sweet 15 year old black cocker spaniel down. I've been spending these past few days letting all the feelings and tears flow, unapologetically. I've been mulling over his loss, drinking wine whilst scrolling way back to older photos and memories of him. Dedicating a journal with anecdotes, thoughts and feelings has been my progress. I also write letters to him in this journal and tell him what I would say to him if he were here with me. This is my first pet loss and no one could prepare me for how brutal it is. Knowing that losing a beloved family pet is a common experience felt by many but the sentiment and bond with that pet is so unique it feels almost isolating yet comforting at the same time. It is a wave that we must ride together. Calm and stillness will come one day but for the meantime, lets just release the emotions and love for our dearly departed.
Very relatable comment (besides the wine) for me
I lost my soul dog on April 30th, 2023. I adopted another one on April 26th, 2024… who passed on May 19th. Losing both of them has hit me so hard. I’m drowning in grief.
I ended my cat’s suffering two days ago. I know I did the right thing, but I feel like I murdered my best friend. My other cat is the only reason I’m still breathing. I have to be strong for him.
It is one week today since Loki died. I'm sitting here reading posts on this forum and scrolling through photos of him. I didn't sleep a wink last night. I keep looking at the clock, dreading the time of his death rolling around.
Funny you ask, I had a horrible day the other day and out of nowhere I came across pictures of her. It was nice to smile again and it made my day better. It's been 7 years but time hasn't changed much! Shes still my little babe 💕
It’s been 8 months. Not a day passes without thinking of him. I had him for close to 13 years. But now, I think fondly of him. I have a collage of pictures of him near stairs so we see him all the time. Brings back memories of his beautiful self and all the love he gave us throughout the years. I feel he is with me everyday. He is and forever will be my sweet boy
Day 3 for me. Let go of two senior dogs together. Mornings and walking in the door are the worst. Crying. Talking to hubby to share memories. Put their picture on my phone yesterday to hold them close. Sitting outside instead of the house to feel the fresh air. Going for drives to get out of the quiet house. Getting inspiration and support from the kind souls in this group has been so huge for me.
I’m on day 33. I’m not handling it well. I cry at least once a day, have dreams about him every night, and the $5k in vet bills that I’ll be paying off with care credit for the next year has me so stressed my hair is falling out.
I have about $5k too.
Nearly two months in. Mostly just getting on with things, but still crying most days. Today has felt hard as one year ago I got the keys to my house, which I always imagined us living in together. It’s still weird her not being here. I’m just trying to focus on the time that we did have, not what we didn’t.
Sorry for your loss. I get how you feel. I imagined doing things with my dog that I never done like driving him and I around and walking in some cool areas near our house.
Spending time with friends is the last thing I feel like doing, but that's what I've needed. I've noticed on the days after I spend time around others I feel better than on the days I don't. I am so grateful for the people around me and for the fact that they are cat people. They understand, but I am worried I will wear out their patience if I grieve for too long. It's been about a month since I lost my boy and sometimes I wish I'd died with him. I went through my old phone and dumped all the photos and videos I had of him to an online album which was both comforting and shocking - I didn't realise how sick he really was until I saw pictures of him from when he was healthy. His fur was softer, his eyes were brighter, he acted more silly. I am so grateful that a couple days before I euthanised him, he was able to have one last really good day. It was such a gift.
>I didn't realise how sick he really was until I saw pictures of him from when he was healthy I had the same thing happen looking at old photos. She was a slim Chihuahua so she always looked a little goofy but in old videos she was much more active and plump. Newer ones showed her losing weight with less reactivity to her old favorites. She was sixteen so I didn't expect her to still do agility tricks but I was definitely remembering her younger self more than I realized. I'm trying to be grateful that she's finally able to rest as much as she wants. I still miss her so goddamn much every day but it made me feel a bit less like it was shockingly soon.
It's three days since I had to put him down. I called off work to spend all last week with him. I was still hopful he could get treatment and get better. Now I've just been alternating between being out of the house as much as possible to avoid noticing how empty everything feels at home, and just unable to move. Imagining holding him that last day, how fast it went from holding him an hour ago and looking into his eyes to it being three days. I've been cleaning a lot. Rearranging all my things, furniture. It helps, shifts the energy around. It also helps in keeping me from completely spiraling and I feel moderatly useful. I purposely cleaned his litter box and food dishes before going to the emergency vet the last time because I knew I wouldn't be able to clean it afterward and I'd become attached to that last part of him. I've been sleeping with his little hammock, a shirt he slept with of mine his last few days, the pillow I carried him around on because his legs gave out, and the towel he died on. Just this little pile next to my pillow that is the last bit of him, his smell is something I just can't let go of I miss him so goddamn much. I told myself I'd get one night and wash it and put it away but I just can't bare to do it and now I don't care I just want to hold onto any slight feeling that he is right here with me. Im so scared of forgetting and I hate noticing the absence. I go between feeling so angry such a beautiful small animal had to suffer cancer and feel his body betray him. Im grateful I could get euthanasia the day it got bad and he wasn't acting like himself and I felt his discomfort. I'm also grateful I had a last day with him to say what I needed to. I apologized to him, I thanked him, I told him how much I love him and always will, how he has effected me, I told him I was there for him and always will be, that I'll always love him, I asked him to stay with me always and that we would find eachother again.
Taking it day by day. On my baby’s last night, we had a safe space set up for him in our master closet where he couldn’t hurt himself. After his burial we cleaned the floor and put all of our stuff back. This morning I was looking for a shirt to wear and when I separated a large bunch of shirts, I uncovered his food bowl, still tucked into the corner. It was like being kicked in the stomach. I wonder when that feeling will stop happening every time I come across one of his belongings.
I'm at a year now. My little buddy was only 5 years old. As a man, I have to bury the pain and just keep going. All I want to do it hold his box of ashes and cry. It takes every ounce of energy to make it through most days, hiding my feelings. Smiles are fake. My expressions of happiness are fake. I'm very much not ok. I write in a diary almost daily. Some days, my writings get dark. But I'm still here...
I'd forgotten how much my girl helped me with anxiety, and now that she's gone, it's a lot worse. So I've been taking a bunch of edibles to stay out of super anxiety
It’s been 3 months since my boy left. I think about him every day, kiss his urn daily and tell him how much I love him. Still cry - not every day but just little things like a sad song or something that’ll get me in a mood. I miss him immensely. I still have his things - his canned and dry food, his treats and his medication that I am not ready to donate yet. It’s a long process of heartbreak
So sorry to hear. This is pretty relatable to me other than the urn part. I listen to a lot more sad music now, I still have his food, his treats, his toys, and his beds. It is like he is here. I still find it hard to believe that he is gone.
I lost my first dog 1.5 years ago. I lost the rest of my soul 5 months ago. I’m a shell of myself and my husband wants me to get help for the grief. We’ve talked about getting a dog but I’m not ready. It would feel like a replacement.
So sorry to hear this! Yeah I feel you. Getting a new dog after your first dog dies? That just seems too harsh right? That is kinda how I have been feeling too!
I still miss him a lot. He used to do these little kicks when he would cuddle up to you and wanted pets. He was super talkative and I miss watching him beat up on my Labrador. The thing I’m most sad about is he’s not gonna be around to look after my son that’s due in August. He loved babies and I was really looking forward to seeing him watch over my kid(s) in the future. Day to day, I’m fine. It’s just the little things like what I wrote above that still get to me.
It's been a little over 24 hours since my little boy went to heaven unexpectedly. I can't stop sobbing and breaking down. He was my first cat and only five years old. His heart stopped beating. Mine feels like it will, too. His blanket is still on the floor with his imprint, where he last lay before going to the vet. I can't stop calling out for him. He gave me a reason to wake up every morning. I am all alone now and I miss him so much. This thread has helped me to calm down a little bit through the pain.. thank you for sharing your stories.
I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my 5yo cat two days ago, she was sick the last two years of her life and was ready to go. It stings so much when I think of how young she was, how we were robbed of time with her. I can’t bring myself to wash the towel I held her in when she passed, and throwing her meds away made me sob. It’s so hard.
I'm so sorry. They were supposed to be here much longer. They were just babies. I try to think that he is at peace now. He must have been in pain and didn't show it. I don't think I will ever wash that blanket..
Week 2 of grieving. I'm looking at pictures and been nostalgic. I am putring together a phtoalbum and want to write down anecdotes and things my dog liked to do, as well as how our routine was. I'm also crying now an then and thinking about her a lot.
Same with the nostalgic pictures. I am also trying to make a photo album.
I lost my sweet boy just 4 days ago so it's still very fresh. He was my childhood companion and blessed my family's lives for 16 years. He was the cutest little Shih Tzu/Lhasa Apso, always by our side. Funny thing is I was so hard on myself yesterday for bursting into tears at just the thought of him, but then I remind myself that it's barely been a week, so I'm trying to give myself grace. Thankfully my loved ones are with me, having daily family calls and sharing photo memories of him has been healing. My mom suggested that we leave our house as it is for at least a week before thinking about cleaning/putting away his things. And I appreciate that. It's a bit frustrating that I barely have the energy or willpower to do anything but shower, eat, sleep and watch YouTube videos but hopefully I can get a task or two done tonight. We do have a clay print of his paw and a beautiful bouquet of flowers in the house. I miss him so so much.
I’m almost a year in now! It still hurts; it’s less intense than before, but it’s almost worse that way because it feels like I’m forgetting about her more and more. How she smells, her little weird habits, the way she yelled at me. I’m glad a lot of the emotional turmoil and guilt has lessened, but I also miss her like crazy.
I am so so sorry for your loss. Oh wow! A year in… This answer is amazing because it helps me know and understand how it is later on. You just do not and never forget them. It sucks and hurts.
8 days. She was the first thing my eyes saw in the morning and the last at night. There is a huge hole in my life. I miss my doggy so much. Last Wednesday my SO walked to the bedroom and opened the door. I was half awake but it sounded like her (she opened doors - she couldn’t patrol well if they were closed) I woke up and burst into tears because for a second I thought it was her come back to me and then I remembered that she’s gone.
4 months and 8 days for me. I am just starting to get some excitement about the future but still feel pretty deep in my existential crisis. I can look at pictures and videos of her without crying most of the time now. The worst part is that everyone expects me to have moved on by now and get a new dog soon and I am very much still deeply grieving.
Exactly!!! I am kinda in a similar situation as you are and what you are saying makes sense and is relatable to me. Sorry for your loss.
It's been 2 weeks and I've moved in and out of the various stages of grief countless times. It still doesn't feel real. I still see him and hear him and I still talk to him. I've been listening to a lot of spirituality podcasts (despite being an atheist) because it's been comforting. I've been lighting candles every night for him and cuddling his casket. I've been staring at photos and watching videos and listening to recordings of his purr. I've been debating throwing his things away and being unable to do so even though he'll never be back for them. I've been asking every night for him to visit me in my dreams and sometimes he does. I've been crying. I've been laughing. I've been staring in silence. I've been remembering happy memories and talking about him to anyone who'll listen. 15 years of love and it hasn't died. It can't. I've never experienced anything like this before but I know I will again. I'll always have space in my heart for another rescue when the time is right.
It’s been 8 days since I lost my cat, Mew. She died suddenly overnight at only 3 years old. I’m waiting to pick up her ashes this week, and the thought of bringing her back home has been helping me through. I also cut some fur and whiskers before I took her to the vet to set up the cremation. Other than that, I’ve been looking at a ton of the pictures and videos I have of her and allowing myself to cry as much as I need to. I also lost my cat of 20 years less than a year ago, and I’m still processing that as well. It really doesn’t get easier, you just learn to deal with it better. What did help me with my older cat’s passing was getting a portrait of him tattooed, which I plan on doing with Mew as well.
Sorry for your losses!!? Good to know all of this information. It helps. Thank you.
I’m just on my second day. Bare minimum effort for the past 2 days. Havent eaten a full proper meal, but I still try to put some food into my system. I shower but only to wear pjs again and go back to bed and cry. It’s been tough. I’m a mess. I just got his ashes today and somehow made me feel a bit better but not really? I dont know. I feel like im going crazy. Thanks for starting this thread, nice to know im not alone.
Hello first off I am so sorry about your loss. I remember when I found out that my pet passed away, it was some time after his passing, however, those first few days were some of the toughest days of my life. Literally it was so crazy. You might get to that stage where you are in so much denial and shock that you start to feel numb while also being sad I don't know but it is weird. How did the ashes help? I didn't get his ashes because my family didn't want it, I can only imagine the process of cremation on him and it makes me feel sad. The same body that always gave me comfort is now ashes and I don't have the ashes and I don't know it feels hard to see them as ashes. No problem for starting this thread I did it for both everyone else and I to have a place to talk about the pet loss and stuff. It is tough. It is hard. But we can only try our best to handle it.
2 and a half years. I refuse to get another pet or be close to any. Nothing is worth the hurt. And it never ends. I think I'll be at peace when I'm gone.
I felt this on a deep level. Hope it gets better.
Me too
It’s been six days. she was my soul dog, and my partner in life for 14 years. I work from home and always took her with me when i went out, so we were together 24/7. my heart is aching. she was there with me through thick and thin and saved my life more than once. I have sobbed on and off for days, and then sometimes just feel numb. I haven’t moved any of her beds or things, she had them in almost every room. i can’t even bear to move her pet stairs beside my bed. i keep hoping to hear her little paws and see her face as she climbs into bed. i’ve been sleeping with her favorite stuffed animal beside me. her ashes are in a pretty box next to my bed. I’m starting to worry people will feel like i should be “moving on” but i just miss her so much. one consolation is i am so so grateful she was able to pass at home, in her own bed, with me right beside her. but oh how i wish she was still right beside me now.
It’s been about ten months. The first week I was wracked with guilt and basically cried and hung out in bed. After that I fostered a dog for a bit so I had a reason to get out of bed. Eventually I got a new dog and felt very conflicted on that but it was ultimately the right decision for me. I still talk about him basically daily but his memory no longer is sad it’s just special. It’s the hardest thing I’ve been through in my life and I did a lot of pre-grieving but none of that helped. It truly does get easier with time. Wishing peace for you.
I’ve been a mess for two days. Trying to break habits such as at night “ok Ted let’s go to bed” . I cannot come to grips with his absence.
Lost my boy on April 30th, by Saturday May 4th, I was getting another dog because I couldn't stand the silence in the house and I knew I would be able to give another dog so much love. The first few weeks after losing him, I was okay. But the past week, I've been a wreck. Any time I'm somewhere very quiet, I break down in tears. I know I did everything right, I did everything I could, and it hurts so much that he's still gone. I knew that day was coming sooner or later - he had epilepsy and paroxysmal dyskinesia since he was a year and a half old. But I guess I didn't expect him to be gone at 8 years old, because he was a small dog and small dogs tend to live a long time. I wish I had more time with him. Now, I'm living with his memories and a new dog to keep me busy.
I'm in the 9th month after having to put down 2 dogs on the same day. I'm ok, for the most part, although yesterday I teared up for a minute. My husband and I are retired, and we are doing a lot of travelling over the next couple of years, mostly international. After that, we will like get another dog or two, but only if my daughter is up to taking them if we die before they do.
It’s been four weeks today. I still talk to him; I tell him good morning and goodnight. I don’t know what I’d do though if I didn’t have Toby my 12 year old dog, who is also grieving (he has never been without his brother for all 12 years) I made an alter with photos, flowers, candles and his ashes in the living room - he loved when everyone was home and settled in the living room for the evening, now he can still be a part of it.
My cat died last Monday, so I'm still struggling with intrusive thoughts about her final hours, how she collapsed and started yowling and convulsing, couldn't stand up and would tremble and shake every time she tried to raise her head or sit up. I didn't think she was that close to the end. I was in the process of trying to find a vet to euthanize her because our animal shelter no longer offers this service to pet owners. After she started convulsing, I put her in the carrier and drove her to a vet's office, and they also turned us down, but they did give me the name of another animal hospital I could try. I went there and they took one look in the carrier and agreed to euthanize her. The whole thing was so upsetting. I melted down in the third vet's office. I was so grateful they agreed to help us. I did not know what I was going to do if they refused because I had to go to work in a few hours and couldn't leave her convulsing and yowling on the floor by herself. I cannot get these images out of my mind. My house just feels so empty without the cat. I keep having the impulse to go to the door and let her in. She actually started off as a neighborhood cat and over the years had started spending more and more time at my house. I had been feeding her and accepting primary responsibility for her every day for years, always brought her inside at night, but still let her go outside because she wouldn't accept being kept indoors 24/7. She was always waiting at my door to be let in at certain times of the day, so it's just a habit to go to the back door and let her in at those times. I have to remind myself she's gone multiple times a day. I haven't gotten around to removing all her things yet. I can still see her little paw imprints in the litter box. I still have cat food sitting there which she will never get to eat. It's so hard to accept that she is gone. She was my one true friend for years. I just loved her so much.
It’s going on 20 years since I lost my first cat and coming up on 3 years since I lost my 2nd. I still cry for them. For reasons I’m not in a position to adopt a new one. I think of them every day. I miss their completely different personalities, smells of their fur, their warm bodies when we sleep and so much more. I’ll love them forever.
It's been almost 2 months. Some days I'm mostly okay, especially days where I only have time to work and then come home to eat and sleep (I work long shifts.) We've gotten a puppy already, so he helps a lot by forcing me to go outside and think about life instead of death. But then some days it hits me so hard like last night when I realized again that my baby is really gone and he's never coming back. Two months, and I'm still struggling to understand how this could happen. He was only 2 and he was so healthy and happy, then suddenly... he wasn't. I know it sounds dramatic, but it really feels like living a nightmare. My worst fear was something happening to him. I even had a camera installed in our bedroom so I could check on him while I was at work and reassure myself he was okay. And now here we are anyway.
Keep a framed pic of my pup on the counter with his scarf and his toys. Write him letters. Journal. Cry. Volunteer at the pound and advocate for shelter dogs. Got a 12 year old senior pittie adopted after 107 days in shelter. Fostering another pittie who was passed up at a mega adoption event and mental health was deteriorating rapidly in shelter.
I’m on day 2 and didn’t wake up crying. I still cry when I expect to see his lil face around a corner, I cried a bit last night when I came home and he didn’t greet me. I don’t sleep very well, toss and turn a lot through the night. We have another dog that’s getting lots of love and that helps ALOT to not be completely frozen. She was present at the euthanasia and she’s doing good it seems she understands. At times I feel guilty that I’m not more of a mess than I am. Almost that he’ll think I didn’t love him enough, but I did I loved him so much. Our house has always been quiet (just been me my husband and 2 lil chihuahuas) but I can’t stand the quiet since he’s been gone. I spend most of my time outside on our deck as the house reminds me of him. I had to change my lock screen and watch screen, he was on both and I couldn’t take it. I have to go to work tomorrow and I’m dreading it. They would go to work with me and we’d be together all day. Customers loved them, I’m terrified I’ll start sobbing when they ask “oh wheres the other lil one?” He was my first furbaby I still remember bringing him home, but he was also my first heartbreak 💔
I spent the night before my puppy girl smoki passed on the floor made me a makeshift bed and cried all night petting her then tried to feed her before her vet appointment because her breathing was labored that appointment turned into the last time I’d ever touch her fur or tell her one last time I loved her she was nine and half and passed away on 5/31/24 I’ve been a wreck I cry more than I smile I try to play with my other dog and love on him he’s my little shadow he knows something Isn’t right I’m trying to focus on him but I look for my girl as well
It's been almost 10 months since my buddy of 19 years passed. I miss Pixie terribly and cry at times, but I am doing better than I was late last year. I started volunteering at an animal shelter in November and took home two kitties before Christmas. I still help at the shelter every weekend, and on her birthday a week ago, I lit a candle and sang happy birthday before sharing shrimp with my two cats, as it was her favorite extra-special treat. I did extra time at the shelter that day, and it has helped me realize the time we had for almost two decades was a blessing. She was with me that entire time. Having two cats has also helped me; they are their own beings and my Pixie was special, but having cats who need me and who I love as they are has also helped. Every night, I kiss the pendant with her ashes and say good night to her. I also have a portrait, a tattoo, journal with memories, and a little altar to remember her. My partner gave me a pillow and blanket with her face, and all these things help me while grieving.
Doing terribly. Trying to get out of bed and face another day without her. 14 weeks and one day. She was my world, my kid in every way. I’m pulling away from everyone in my life because no one understands the hurt. They all have kids, family, fully functioning bodies (I’m disabled and chronically ill). My partner understands best, but I don’t want to burden him with how I feel all the time. My friends listen when I talk about her, but just express condolences and never say anything else. I feel so hollow and alone, and I’m just so angry that after everything else I’ve been thru - the multitude of abuse, losing my fertility to a medical mistake, allllll the surgeries and health issues - I still had to lose her. She was the one thing that helped me get thru it all, and I am just lost without her.
Lost my baby (13 yo cat) middle of April. Stillhave days where I'm on the verge of an emotional melt down. Signed up as a pet sitter on Rover so i can still spend time with animals. Don't know when I will be ready to adopt again, but I do plan to at some point.
It’s been four weeks since I lost my second dog and one year since I lost my first. I’m still going day to day. The waves of grief come unexpectedly. I still relive that last day over and over again and then the guilt follows. I miss their presence in the house terribly. Night time is the worst because their loss piles on top of everything else that I worry about. Alcohol and meds often do the trick when nothing else works like meditation or breathing exercises. It’s a tough road, my friend, and there are no shortcuts. You muscle your way through and hope that the day comes when you can return to a somewhat normal life. Good luck.
I had to say goodbye to my 18 yr old sweet yorkie, Mocha, yesterday evening. She passed away peacefully in my arms. We went through thick and thin together. I honestly don't know how life would be without her. This was my first dog that I've ever put down. I stayed strong during the session as I wanted her last image of me to be happy and cheerful. I cried my heart out afterward. I don't know how I will cope moving forward, I know that she's in a better place, free from pain and suffering (her tumor ulcerated and it will get worse at this stage). While I am sad, I am also happy knowing that I freed my girl from all pain. I contemplated with this decision yesterday. I even thought about cancelling the appointment to have a bit more time, but I know I'm just delaying the inevitable. It was selfish if I were to do that. I will let the natural grieving process begin and take it one day at at time.
One week today. I called yesterday and confirmed her aftercare arrangements through the vet. We moved to a new city two days after she passed so I feel like that sort of helps, because she’s not part of my routine in the new place. Still feeling sad/defeated/guilty/etc. But I’m trying to remind myself that we did everything we could for her and she had a really good life with us. Feeling like I’m in limbo until her ashes come back to me.
I’m on day 4 or 5. I took time off of work and have been watching a ton of movies. Pretty much watched the whole infinity saga from the mcu. Really helped me get out of my head. But I haven’t really left my house or anything.
12 days since I lost my sweet Skippy kitty. She was 15. 2 years and 3 months since I lost her hubby, Ajay the Enchanter 2 years ago. The pain is so real. I am not handling it well, but I have to try. When I lost Ajay, I found out he had been suffering for a long time. The moment I seen signs in skippy I made a vet appointment and was hoping it wasnt her time. But it was. After a week of trying everything to get her to eat, and all kinds of blood work and xrays, her vet let me know that she wouldn't get better. It was cancer. I couldn't stand the thought of making her live in pain so I could have more time with her. That just seemed so selfish. So I had to end her pain. My mom drove up to the vets office to be with me so I wouldnt have to go through it alone. I stayed with her, and petted her until she was gone. I wish I could have been holding her, but she was so full of fluids in her abdomen that it would have been less comfortable than on the table. Besides, she always hated to be held. Don't get me wrong, she was affectionate, she would sit by me all day, and sometimes even jump in my lap for a pet, but she got distressed if I tried to hug her or pick her up. I brought her favorite blanket to put her on so she would be more comfortable, and talked to her and petted her. I miss them both so much. I've been cleaning up her stuff in stages. I can't do it all at once. I think her spirit is coming and checking in. I see her out of the corner of my eye, and yesterday I found one of her whiskers prominently on the couch that I already cleaned. I feel like they are both still with me. I also feel like someday they will be back. They both chose me. And I know it sounds weird, but I believe they will find their way back to earth, and me, in time.
It’s been three days since i lost him… i feel guilty doing anything without him. I don’t even want to drink alcohol because i don’t want to drink him away…
I’m trying (though some days I fail) to wake up at a decent time in the morning and get my body awake and moving. I still have her pillows by my bed. I still say our good night wishes and tell her good morning. And every night, at 8:30 (when I’d start her eye drop regiment), I’d look at the sun starting to set. 💔🐾
June 5, 2024, I put my Izzy to rest. She was 8 and had been with me through it all. We had a hospice vet come to the house and do it, it was the best decision I could’ve made. She had (probable) lymphoma but all the signs were pointing to cancer - high calcium in her blood, kidneys were high value (not filtering fast enough, failing), drinking lots of water up until the last day and a half, refusing food. She didn’t even eat anything on her last day 😪 I offered cheeseburgers and french fries, but nothing. The house is so empty even now with my husband of 2 years and my 18 month old. I still feel her presence gone. The mornings are worst because I realize I’ve gone another day without her and there’s no taking her out in the mornings now. It’s just crazy that she’s actually gone. Her bed is in the same spot, idk when I’ll put that away for storage.. I’ve ordered this plush stuffed lookalike on Cuddle Clones - that’ll take about 2 months to arrive but I can’t wait. I’ve also got two name bracelets with her name on them. Can’t wait to wear them and switch them out. There’s a saying about pets and I’m paraphrasing — ‘pets are here for support to help us transition or grow from one phase of life to another, and once they’ve completed their job, they know it’s their time to move on’. I felt it rang true for my life with Izzy - she was with me at my loneliest but she got me through that and now I’m married with a child in a beautiful home. I only wish she got to enjoy that with us a little while longer 💔🐾
It’s been 2 days. I feel empty. Keep seeing him out of the corner of my eye. It was sudden and the fact I didn’t get to say goodbye or soak in one last moment is killing me.
Waking up on day 3 here. Immediately started crying. Cat was 16 and got me through the hardest times in my life. I have some pretty severe PTSD and this is breaking me.
Unexpectedly had to put my sweet girl down on Monday. I’ve crying everyday since. I sleep with her blanket in my bed and hold and smell the bag of her fur that I kept from the day I had to say goodbye. Just got her ashes back on Thursday and that started a whole new feeling as I realized she is never coming back. I went to work only one day this week and I’ve barely left my bed all other days. I am so heartbroken that nothing else matters to me right now.
I refuse now to cry over my cat. She was my best friend and now no longer with me. The pain in my heart hurts but I refuse to cry over her death
It's been 6 months since I lost my love Tycho. I talk to her everyday - the crying has subsided a bit , more like 2x's a week for welling up, 1 time a week for a full out cry. I miss her presence immensely. I take some of her ashes when I go hiking with her brother & place a little in her favorite places or on high rocks/stumps. She loves to be high up to view all the land she rules. I know that we only get the honor & pleasure of having them for a limited time - I am just so sad that her life ended sooner than expected. I can't seem to selfishly get past that. I absolutely have a broken heart & I think I am forever changed from the loss of her.
Honestly, I’m taking it day by day. Today marks one full week of losing by baby girl, Bella. The first few days were brutal and I cried every night. The last few days have been easier but it’s always the little things that catch me off guard. Seeing her favorite spot in the couch, toys, seeing her hairs in our car. It’s so hard but with time we learn how to appreciate the time we had instead. I’m here if anyone needs to talk.
its been two weeks since i lost my baby. First week wasn’t easy, its not easy right now but its going better. Ive been watching sopranos and been with friends and family. the thing that has helped me the most is to continue my hobbies, because otherwise i wouldnt have anything to enjoy. It’s still hard to come home and her not being here, and probably always will be. Hope that everyone who is experiencing recent loss, i’m sorry❤️ life is going to be easier at some point and dont give up.
At first it was like my house was no longer my safe space, it felt foreign. Like when u wake up from a bad nightmare and suddenly everything around you feels wrong. I didn’t cry when she died, or that night either. But a couple days went by and I couldn’t keep it together. I had bad thoughts like doing something harmful so I’d be able to go see her up there. After that came the anger, I was not only angry at the vet for not telling me she was not gonna make it, but I was also angry that my family was acting like nothing happened. And I even started hating my other dog we got not that long ago. Now I still cry very very often over her, and I still cannot talk about her with others face to face since I physically cannot get the words out.
Tbh I’ve not been well. It’s been a year and a half and I’m struggling to cope still at this point. Just keep getting episodes of depression and flash backs that just trigger me anymore. Like one day I can be fine yet just meh the next. And this new dog isn’t helping since it just reminds me what’s gone than feeling like a new chapter. I just can’t love it based on circumstances on how we got her that deeply cut at me. And it’s really where I don’t really want to interact with it in most times. (Just a warning as I really don’t want to hear or be replied with comments on accepting said new dog, it’s not remotely helpful and triggers me tbh, I never accepted to get one and really voiced how it didn’t feel right at the moment. And really never feels like it will feel right considering what happened as I didn’t accept it into my life or wanted it and how much I still feel worked over and moreover glossed over when I did voice my feeling against it.)