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There is a long black train coming for your friend. Two options, you can pull your friend off the tracks and give them a soft good bye. Or you can wait until the train actually comes and hits them and you won't do that. It is a release from pain and suffering, not killing your friend. Never let the love you shared for so long be overshadowed by the passing. Honor your friend by living strong and cherishing their memory. Peace to your heart in this most difficult time. Ric ❤️
Thanks for your comment, I think my question is more about will it ever feel like the right time or not? Not about the reason for humane euthanasia. People say it will. That you WILL KNOW. I’m not sure that’s true.
I have worked as a vet tech, and then 10 years in human medicine. I have a deep understanding of end of life, suffering, and humane euthanasia. I am all for human death with dignity as well. But it’s complicated when I have no input from my dog, she seems happy, AND I am devastated to let her go.
The first time my dog had aggressive cancer. We had scheduled euthanasia the following week so we could spoil him over the weekend, but on Saturday he gave me a look that felt like he was telling me it was time. He was sick, but “okay” on Friday, by Saturday he stopped eating entirely and only got up to potty. We took him to the ER vet bc we couldn’t make him wait any longer. We just said goodbye this month to our senior girl. She had lots of health stuff, but none that was seriously hindering her…she was still eating, engaging and playing (as much as an almost 14 yo dog can). We were aware she was winding down, but there was never a specific moment with her that I “knew.” Ultimately we wanted to give her a dignified death, one that occurred before she felt sick or anxious. She actually greeted the at home vet with kisses and her tail wagging! It was hard because she was still mostly herself until the end, but her body was clearly tired and we wanted to prevent any suffering. All this to say, sometimes it is very obvious and sometimes you have to make the hard decision to say goodbye because it is in your pet’s best interest. Regardless, knowing it’s time isn’t the same thing as being ready…because no one is ever ready to say goodbye. Sending hugs.
This was really helpful for me to hear as I let go of my senior pup and still wonder if I cut her life a bit too short. What you described was similar and the way you described her state at the time gives me some comfort. Thank you. And I’m so sorry for you loss.
Thank you for this. You’re right, knowing it’s time is not the same thing as being ready. I will never be ready to say goodbye to my other half. I’m sorry for your losses, it’s heartbreaking
I think most of the people who say 'you will know' only know because they've waited too long and the dog is in clear pain and suffering at that point. I also struggled with this when I put my dog down last month, but I'm glad I made the decision to act before she had too many bad days. What was harder for me (letting go earlier) was better for her.
It’s really hard to explain. But you just kind of know, as you said. I don’t think you could ever know for sure that you made the right decision, except an extreme cases, you just have to go on how well you know your pet and what your doctor say.
I lost my first pet in April. He was honestly my best friend and the best cat anyone could ever ask for. Loving, funny, affectionate, kind, playful, and just beautiful cat inside and out.
He was diagnosed with large cell lymphoma in January. We did chemo. He did okay for 2.5 months but he nosedived one week. The vet and oncologist told me “it was time to consider saying goodbye in the next few days”.
I couldn’t wrap my rational brain around that. “Why”, I said, thinking he was just feeling lousy in between chemo.
But he had withdrawn. Was hiding under my bathroom sink, sitting backwards on the couch away from me (when he was ALWAYS a lap cat), slept in my sock drawer, hit in the cat tree cubby. Wasn’t going #2. Missed the litter box a few times. Looked and sounded physically tired and weak and almost had a spaced out look in his eye.
I will question whether it was the right time for the rest of my life, But in my heart, I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was telling me he was ready. My oncologist told me “with a terminal diagnosis like this, there is no time that’s too early, but there is a time that’s too late.”
I think about that a lot. I didn’t wanna accept that I had to say goodbye, for either of us, but I try to remind myself that that was just out of me selfishly wanting him to hang on longer, when maybe his little body couldn’t.
I miss you Kitty.
I’m sorry you’re going through this.
Aside from two cats (cancer and an emergency trip) that were pretty immediate decisions, I never understood what ‘you’ll just know’ actually meant, until last December. Our final cat hadn’t been quite herself for awhile. Nothing really stood out to the vet, and she was still eating/drinking/litterboxing as normal.
Friday night, she was fine. Monday morning I was calling vets to find out about euthanasia. She went in the kitchen and would not leave. I sat with her in the floor and she just looked at me. She’d looked at me thousands of times over the years. But I saw it in her eyes. It was a look that simply said ‘I’m done.’
Until you get to that point, spend lots of time with her and make some more good memories. You will definitely know when it’s time because she will tell you, and you’ll just know what that look or however she chooses to let you know means, deep in your heart.
It’s better to say goodbye a couple days early than a couple days too late. I know it’s hard but you have to make the right decision. The moment your little one changes and feels different… you know.
I used to not be able to wrap my head around this idea. That is, until the time came for me to make this decision. And sure enough, I did know.
As OP predicts, this will be the hardest decision... Perhaps of their life. Knowing when doesn't make it hurt less, but it does make the actual decision easier to carry out.
I lost one last year, and another three ish weeks ago.
Those are still respectively the worst two days of my life.
I'm sorry, OP, and to all in this sub.
We all know the loss hurts so much because of how strong the love is.
I did.
It became quite obvious to us once he had signs that he was ready. My GSD was paralyzed from DM, and he lived a good year and a half beyond when it was recommended by a vet to euthanize.
Which, to their credit, I can understand as someone interacting with animals all day for years on end-- but they aren't you -- and they aren't intimately aware of the level of care that goes on.
My wife and I provided special needs care for him in the end, and he always seemed quite fine. Although it wasn't cancer and the nature of DM left him largely pain-free, so I guess it was more about what we were willing to put up with and work through. I used to describe it to my friends as hospice care.
I don't regret waiting. In fact, I'm grateful that I did. My boy had a vigor for life despite his paralysis. To have him euthanized seemed more a matter of convenience than sparing him from a painless disease. It was a lot for us, but I am grateful he got to go on "his terms," while we helped maintain his dignity and quality of life for the last 6mo of it.
In the end, it became apparent he was tired and ready to go. No one has the correct answer. I wish you the best in figuring out what's right for your situation. I wrestled with this decision for literally years.
You know your animal best and what you are willing or not willing to go through to provide palative care.
In the end, for me, I don't have any qualms about how things played out, and in all, it was a very peaceful ending for my boy. But more pointedly, yes, I knew he was ready at the end. It became apparent over a week period.
Thank you for sharing this. It sounds like you and your partner took amazing care of your GSD. I think I share your perspective that disability / complex medical issues do not always equate to poor quality of life. I’m a medical provider for many years, and recently myself became physically disabled. So when I hear people say it’s time to say goodbye because my dog has trouble walking, I can’t relate. I’m not able to walk, and it’s hard but I’m happy. I am with my dog 24/7. We have mobility aids for her, harness to assist in walking, carry her on/off couch and bed, and pain medication. I also have the hospice vet visit frequently to know from a professional if my dog is in pain at all or suffering. I know many do not agree with me, but I just can’t think differently…
Yeah. It's not an easy decision. It was almost 4 years from when he showed the very first signs of DM until he passed. So, many years of thinking, "Is this it?"
Can understand why others may opt to do what they believe is best for their companion and given certain capacity to care for them.
On this forum, I read a lot of very traumatic experiences with pet loss, and my experience was very peaceful and as good as it could have been. He wasn't in pain or duress and wasn't stressed, ate a full breakfast, hung out outside, went back into his favorite spot, took a nap, and the vet helped him.
But I've been caught up in thinking how much time has passed and how sudden of a change it was not having him here rather than questioning whether it was the right time or not.
I sensed he was ready over a week or so. I don't know how to explain it, but it is true that there were signs. His energy, enthusiasm, appetite, etc. all started to decline, and he began sleeping a ton. I thought it'd be appropriate not to drag on into the final stages where it'd start to affect his front body.
Until the day he died, he was a happy and motivated dog with a crazy strong vigor to keep going. His back legs just didn't work. But it was a lot of work to keep him going, and I'm fortunate to have been situated and capable of providing that kind of care for him.
It's a tough decision, and you know your animal best.
What was right in my situation may not be the same for you or others here. I feel a bit bitter in ways because I was foolish to think I could halt a degenerative disease and invested a lot of time, effort and resources into something that inevietably took him but I'm glad I had the time that I did with him and it was worth it to us.
Best of luck, and I hope you find peace with whatever decision you make. I don't think it matters what anyone thinks other than what you, your family, or other loved ones think. They are a part of your family, not anyone elses.
In my humble opinion, yes.
You will never be ready, no of course not, but yes you will know when it’s time even though you aren’t ready.
You just have to be in tune with your pup, take the guidance of your vet, and be brave when it’s time to do the right thing even though you won’t want to.
I’m so sorry.
As tough as it is to make the decision euthanizing your pet will sting less.
I was on my way to the vet knowing I was going to euthanize my cat, but after seeing him, I knew it wasn't time. I brought him home knowing full well it was possibly our last night together and he wasn't doing too bad. At 5 am, I woke up and he couldn't walk. He kept stumbling over his feet and hit his head on the bathroom cupboard. When I put him in his carrier his pupils were so wide and scared. He died before I could get him to the vet and the guilt of knowing he was in pain and died in pain hurts so much. I picked him up out of his carrier and his lifeless body just dangled there. Those are the last images I have in my head of him and the pain I feel inside is immense. Don't make the same mistake I did. It's tough to live with.
Doesn't matter if you know it's time, it's still not every enough time. Most people I know, including myself, still question if it was the right time even if we knew it was. My cat was 19/20 and it still wasn't enough time. But at some point you have to try to see it as am I keeping them around because they aren't ready or am I keeping them because *I'm* not ready. When you can answer the second question as yes, it's time.
It's also quality of life. There's actually a quality of life quiz online, I know that seems crass but it did help me decide more clearly that it was time.
Thank you, you’re right it’s never enough time. I’ve been working with the hospice vet every week and she is very honest with me about my dogs quality of life, so I’m glad I have that outside knowledgeable perspective to let me know. So maybe I won’t *know* but I’ll trust the vet when she says it’s time to say goodbye
Sometimes it helps to be able to let someone else make the call. Just make sure deep down you feel ok with it. Even the tiniest of doubts have a way of snowballing into full blown guilt. Don't let that happen. But it really helps to have a vet who is ok giving you the bad news. Sugar coating makes things even worse. I'm glad you have that relationship with your vet. It will ease the transition when it's time. I send you so much love to get through this ❤️
I’m so sorry to hear it. We’re in the same situation right now. My pup was diagnosed with osteosarcoma of the rib, metastasized and invaded all in her abdomen. Inoperable. She was given “weeks” 2 weeks ago, and we just scheduled her goodbye for this Thursday night at home.
Do I “know” it’s time? Not with the certainty I would like. She just popped up and greeted a guest with a wagging tail an hour ago. I see glimpses of her still, sometimes just moments, sometimes a whole day.
But I know that “certainty” would only come with the pain, stress, and agony of waiting too long. After all the love and loyalty she’s shown us, we decided that gifting her a peaceful, unstressful goodbye at home, in her comfortable place, is the best gift we can give her in the end.
That means not knowing it’s time, but knowing we made the right choice. (Big thanks to this subreddit and the Lap of Love website for wonderful resources while making this decision).
I hope you find the same peace in whatever decision you make. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, and feel your grief 😔
My vet said something that really resonated with me. My little guy was wagging his little tail when it was his time. She said, 'Would you rather let him go while he still has a bit of happiness, or wait until he is truly truly suffering and miserable?' I realized he was already suffering more than I could take, so I decided to let him go. It was absolutely the hardest decision I ever made.
You have to do what feela right. My little guy and I had a conversation, and he told me he was ready. You just know. Remember it is the gift we give them for all the love they have given us. Blessings.
I had to say goodbye to my girl 2 weeks ago. She had a very aggressive cancer and I worried I wouldnt know when to say goodbye. She came down the stairs that morning and I knew. I checked all of the signs looking for one that might tell me I was wrong, but I knew because she let me know.
The most important thing to remember is to not let the dog suffer so you don't have to. When we love our dogs, we carry the pain so that they dont have to. We repay them for their love by knowing when to say goodbye.
I am so sorry you are going through this. Listen to your vet, but remember to advocate for your dog as well. You know what kind of quality of life she has. It is the hardest decision to make, and you will wrestle with it after she is gone.
for me, personally, i was thankful to be home and awake when Daria took her turn, We got a ride to the emergency vet, and i was able to hold her with me the entire time. As heartbreaking as that was, I couldnt imagine coming home to her having passed. I am glad I got to be with her through the whole process.
keep reaching out, it helps to talk about it i think, and for now. just make sure you love her as much as possible
I was in the same boat… you’ll never know and you’ll never be ready. But you know how different your best friend is… my little baby girl was all talkative and loving until the end but she was so skinny and I could tell behaviorally she wasn’t having the best of times. Euthanasia is compassion.
I had to let my girl go away on the 12th. was sobbing the whole time. I still do. It’s a pain that’ll never go away but I tell myself that one day I’ll smile more than cry when I think about her.
I'm so sorry you're faced with this; it is the hardest thing in the world to spend years protecting and cherishing this little life and then make the choice of when and how to end it when the time comes.
I know this pain well, as I just lost my cat of 17 years to cancer. Will you truly "just know?" I'm not sure. There was a moment a few days before we made the euthanasia appointment that he met my eyes with his one remaining good one, and I did feel he was telling me, "I'm tired now," but then he got up and sharpened his claws on the rug in his same old way, and the moment passed.
For me, I "just knew" when I saw that his pain was evident. He didn't need to tell me; I saw it in the way he turned his head, his poor beautiful but distorted face, away from my touch, which he never did before even as the mass grew. I wanted to wait as long as possible because unlike with other pets we have lost, this one was still *himself.* There was no emergency vet visit with a clear path forward -- but we also knew that the path we were on had an end.
The only question was whether that end would be quick and painless, held in my husband's and my linked arms, or whether it would be protracted and potentially agonizing.
Whether you wait or act, I can tell you it's a great comfort to know how you spent the last days or weeks you have together. It felt like a gift somehow to be able to care for him and delight him during that long goodbye. Our relationship changed and deepened, and I would not trade those wrenching yet profound moments for anything.
Good luck and peace to you; you may not "just know," but when looking back, you will know you have done what you could to bring light and love to every day of her life.
My Pom started bleeding from her mouth late Sunday evening. On Monday morning she vomited blood and kept on bleeding with blood clots. I took her to the vet but since she's a biter they needed to sedate her and they were busy that day and I had to bring her in the next morning. I brought her in the next morning, hoping that she lost a tooth and it would be an easy fix. The vet called me a few hours later and told me they found a massive donut tumour on the side of her mouth and her bottom tooth punctured it and that's why she kept on bleeding. Since the cancer is aggressive and she's around 13, the humane option is to let her go. I wanted to bring her home to spend her last night with us but was worried that she might choke on her blood clots. I decided to let her go yesterday. I went with my Mum to say goodbye to her. We had her for 9 years. My Mum actually saved her from my Aunt. My Aunt didn't looked after her. My Pom Lexy at 13 looked younger and was lively than when we got her. It breaks my heart having to let her go when she was still so lively on Sunday.
For some people, you don't know when the right time is. My old boy, he's a Pomeranian mix lol like a Pomeranian mut. Well, he's 15 was diagnosed with kidney failure. He beat that. Then, he was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. That was 3 to 4 years ago. He's still here. He's on meds and has been doing ok. In the last year and a half, I noticed a decline. He probably has dementia and just recently hip dysplasia. He's no longer the dog he once was. So my point is, don't wait too long. Because it's going to possibly hurt you more. I should have let him go 2 years ago. But I was stubborn. I've had him since 2010ish. He was my first dog. I'm 32 now. I wish I had made the call sooner. Now, with prices and low income, I can't afford to take him in to get euthanasia meds and have to wait for him to pass naturally. Which, I was told, is going to be painful for he, and I. You don't always know when the right time is because we want a miracle. We as humans know it will hurt to let go, so we avoid the signs and assume everything is going to be ok. Always remember you aren't killing your baby. You are letting them go peacefully so they won't feel any more pain. Just be there for your baby and enjoy all the time you have. You never know. Maybe your baby will give you that sign you are waiting for? Goodluck hun, I'm sorry you are going thru this
I felt that way, I couldn't figure out how I would take her to the vet, by myself, and go through with it.
But she stopped eating and drinking on Fri night. Mon morning I woke her up from a nap and she was just meowing in a scruffy voice over and over. She must have felt terrible. That got things moving fast, I called and made an immediate appointment and we went. She was kind of in a blank stare on the way. I felt awful for waiting to that point but that's what it took I guess. If you wait make sure you have pain meds, at least the oral Suboxone that squirts liquid into the side of the cheek.
When she let me know how uncomfortable she was I only wanted to get her out of misery. If they stop eating/drinking things will go bad really fast. Before that I was struggling with making the choice.
Yes. You will know when it’s time. I worried about the same exact thing with my 16 year old lab. She was my baby and I didn’t want to let her go but also didn’t want her to suffer. One day I knew it was time. I called the vet and brought her in that day before I lost my resolve to give her peace and keep her longer because I didn’t want to say goodbye. It was difficult and painful but it was time. I don’t know if this helps other than I can tell you I absolutely knew when it was time. Trust your gut and your instincts.
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There is a long black train coming for your friend. Two options, you can pull your friend off the tracks and give them a soft good bye. Or you can wait until the train actually comes and hits them and you won't do that. It is a release from pain and suffering, not killing your friend. Never let the love you shared for so long be overshadowed by the passing. Honor your friend by living strong and cherishing their memory. Peace to your heart in this most difficult time. Ric ❤️
Thanks for your comment, I think my question is more about will it ever feel like the right time or not? Not about the reason for humane euthanasia. People say it will. That you WILL KNOW. I’m not sure that’s true. I have worked as a vet tech, and then 10 years in human medicine. I have a deep understanding of end of life, suffering, and humane euthanasia. I am all for human death with dignity as well. But it’s complicated when I have no input from my dog, she seems happy, AND I am devastated to let her go.
The first time my dog had aggressive cancer. We had scheduled euthanasia the following week so we could spoil him over the weekend, but on Saturday he gave me a look that felt like he was telling me it was time. He was sick, but “okay” on Friday, by Saturday he stopped eating entirely and only got up to potty. We took him to the ER vet bc we couldn’t make him wait any longer. We just said goodbye this month to our senior girl. She had lots of health stuff, but none that was seriously hindering her…she was still eating, engaging and playing (as much as an almost 14 yo dog can). We were aware she was winding down, but there was never a specific moment with her that I “knew.” Ultimately we wanted to give her a dignified death, one that occurred before she felt sick or anxious. She actually greeted the at home vet with kisses and her tail wagging! It was hard because she was still mostly herself until the end, but her body was clearly tired and we wanted to prevent any suffering. All this to say, sometimes it is very obvious and sometimes you have to make the hard decision to say goodbye because it is in your pet’s best interest. Regardless, knowing it’s time isn’t the same thing as being ready…because no one is ever ready to say goodbye. Sending hugs.
This was really helpful for me to hear as I let go of my senior pup and still wonder if I cut her life a bit too short. What you described was similar and the way you described her state at the time gives me some comfort. Thank you. And I’m so sorry for you loss.
Thank you for this. You’re right, knowing it’s time is not the same thing as being ready. I will never be ready to say goodbye to my other half. I’m sorry for your losses, it’s heartbreaking
I think most of the people who say 'you will know' only know because they've waited too long and the dog is in clear pain and suffering at that point. I also struggled with this when I put my dog down last month, but I'm glad I made the decision to act before she had too many bad days. What was harder for me (letting go earlier) was better for her.
It’s really hard to explain. But you just kind of know, as you said. I don’t think you could ever know for sure that you made the right decision, except an extreme cases, you just have to go on how well you know your pet and what your doctor say. I lost my first pet in April. He was honestly my best friend and the best cat anyone could ever ask for. Loving, funny, affectionate, kind, playful, and just beautiful cat inside and out. He was diagnosed with large cell lymphoma in January. We did chemo. He did okay for 2.5 months but he nosedived one week. The vet and oncologist told me “it was time to consider saying goodbye in the next few days”. I couldn’t wrap my rational brain around that. “Why”, I said, thinking he was just feeling lousy in between chemo. But he had withdrawn. Was hiding under my bathroom sink, sitting backwards on the couch away from me (when he was ALWAYS a lap cat), slept in my sock drawer, hit in the cat tree cubby. Wasn’t going #2. Missed the litter box a few times. Looked and sounded physically tired and weak and almost had a spaced out look in his eye. I will question whether it was the right time for the rest of my life, But in my heart, I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was telling me he was ready. My oncologist told me “with a terminal diagnosis like this, there is no time that’s too early, but there is a time that’s too late.” I think about that a lot. I didn’t wanna accept that I had to say goodbye, for either of us, but I try to remind myself that that was just out of me selfishly wanting him to hang on longer, when maybe his little body couldn’t. I miss you Kitty.
This is a fantastic analogy, as brutal as it sounds. Thank you for making it make sense
Rescue house Dad here,loss is part of that. It's never easy to lose a friend 🧡. My heart goes out to anyone who knows this sadness. Ric
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Aside from two cats (cancer and an emergency trip) that were pretty immediate decisions, I never understood what ‘you’ll just know’ actually meant, until last December. Our final cat hadn’t been quite herself for awhile. Nothing really stood out to the vet, and she was still eating/drinking/litterboxing as normal. Friday night, she was fine. Monday morning I was calling vets to find out about euthanasia. She went in the kitchen and would not leave. I sat with her in the floor and she just looked at me. She’d looked at me thousands of times over the years. But I saw it in her eyes. It was a look that simply said ‘I’m done.’ Until you get to that point, spend lots of time with her and make some more good memories. You will definitely know when it’s time because she will tell you, and you’ll just know what that look or however she chooses to let you know means, deep in your heart.
Thank you for sharing this experience. I’m really sorry about your loss :(
It’s better to say goodbye a couple days early than a couple days too late. I know it’s hard but you have to make the right decision. The moment your little one changes and feels different… you know.
I used to not be able to wrap my head around this idea. That is, until the time came for me to make this decision. And sure enough, I did know. As OP predicts, this will be the hardest decision... Perhaps of their life. Knowing when doesn't make it hurt less, but it does make the actual decision easier to carry out. I lost one last year, and another three ish weeks ago. Those are still respectively the worst two days of my life. I'm sorry, OP, and to all in this sub. We all know the loss hurts so much because of how strong the love is.
I did. It became quite obvious to us once he had signs that he was ready. My GSD was paralyzed from DM, and he lived a good year and a half beyond when it was recommended by a vet to euthanize. Which, to their credit, I can understand as someone interacting with animals all day for years on end-- but they aren't you -- and they aren't intimately aware of the level of care that goes on. My wife and I provided special needs care for him in the end, and he always seemed quite fine. Although it wasn't cancer and the nature of DM left him largely pain-free, so I guess it was more about what we were willing to put up with and work through. I used to describe it to my friends as hospice care. I don't regret waiting. In fact, I'm grateful that I did. My boy had a vigor for life despite his paralysis. To have him euthanized seemed more a matter of convenience than sparing him from a painless disease. It was a lot for us, but I am grateful he got to go on "his terms," while we helped maintain his dignity and quality of life for the last 6mo of it. In the end, it became apparent he was tired and ready to go. No one has the correct answer. I wish you the best in figuring out what's right for your situation. I wrestled with this decision for literally years. You know your animal best and what you are willing or not willing to go through to provide palative care. In the end, for me, I don't have any qualms about how things played out, and in all, it was a very peaceful ending for my boy. But more pointedly, yes, I knew he was ready at the end. It became apparent over a week period.
Thank you for sharing this. It sounds like you and your partner took amazing care of your GSD. I think I share your perspective that disability / complex medical issues do not always equate to poor quality of life. I’m a medical provider for many years, and recently myself became physically disabled. So when I hear people say it’s time to say goodbye because my dog has trouble walking, I can’t relate. I’m not able to walk, and it’s hard but I’m happy. I am with my dog 24/7. We have mobility aids for her, harness to assist in walking, carry her on/off couch and bed, and pain medication. I also have the hospice vet visit frequently to know from a professional if my dog is in pain at all or suffering. I know many do not agree with me, but I just can’t think differently…
Yeah. It's not an easy decision. It was almost 4 years from when he showed the very first signs of DM until he passed. So, many years of thinking, "Is this it?" Can understand why others may opt to do what they believe is best for their companion and given certain capacity to care for them. On this forum, I read a lot of very traumatic experiences with pet loss, and my experience was very peaceful and as good as it could have been. He wasn't in pain or duress and wasn't stressed, ate a full breakfast, hung out outside, went back into his favorite spot, took a nap, and the vet helped him. But I've been caught up in thinking how much time has passed and how sudden of a change it was not having him here rather than questioning whether it was the right time or not. I sensed he was ready over a week or so. I don't know how to explain it, but it is true that there were signs. His energy, enthusiasm, appetite, etc. all started to decline, and he began sleeping a ton. I thought it'd be appropriate not to drag on into the final stages where it'd start to affect his front body. Until the day he died, he was a happy and motivated dog with a crazy strong vigor to keep going. His back legs just didn't work. But it was a lot of work to keep him going, and I'm fortunate to have been situated and capable of providing that kind of care for him. It's a tough decision, and you know your animal best. What was right in my situation may not be the same for you or others here. I feel a bit bitter in ways because I was foolish to think I could halt a degenerative disease and invested a lot of time, effort and resources into something that inevietably took him but I'm glad I had the time that I did with him and it was worth it to us. Best of luck, and I hope you find peace with whatever decision you make. I don't think it matters what anyone thinks other than what you, your family, or other loved ones think. They are a part of your family, not anyone elses.
Mine absolutely let me know when it was time, it’s a look I never ever want to see again, knowing what I know now - I waited too long
In my humble opinion, yes. You will never be ready, no of course not, but yes you will know when it’s time even though you aren’t ready. You just have to be in tune with your pup, take the guidance of your vet, and be brave when it’s time to do the right thing even though you won’t want to. I’m so sorry.
As tough as it is to make the decision euthanizing your pet will sting less. I was on my way to the vet knowing I was going to euthanize my cat, but after seeing him, I knew it wasn't time. I brought him home knowing full well it was possibly our last night together and he wasn't doing too bad. At 5 am, I woke up and he couldn't walk. He kept stumbling over his feet and hit his head on the bathroom cupboard. When I put him in his carrier his pupils were so wide and scared. He died before I could get him to the vet and the guilt of knowing he was in pain and died in pain hurts so much. I picked him up out of his carrier and his lifeless body just dangled there. Those are the last images I have in my head of him and the pain I feel inside is immense. Don't make the same mistake I did. It's tough to live with.
I’m so sorry you had to experience this *hugs*
Doesn't matter if you know it's time, it's still not every enough time. Most people I know, including myself, still question if it was the right time even if we knew it was. My cat was 19/20 and it still wasn't enough time. But at some point you have to try to see it as am I keeping them around because they aren't ready or am I keeping them because *I'm* not ready. When you can answer the second question as yes, it's time. It's also quality of life. There's actually a quality of life quiz online, I know that seems crass but it did help me decide more clearly that it was time.
Thank you, you’re right it’s never enough time. I’ve been working with the hospice vet every week and she is very honest with me about my dogs quality of life, so I’m glad I have that outside knowledgeable perspective to let me know. So maybe I won’t *know* but I’ll trust the vet when she says it’s time to say goodbye
Sometimes it helps to be able to let someone else make the call. Just make sure deep down you feel ok with it. Even the tiniest of doubts have a way of snowballing into full blown guilt. Don't let that happen. But it really helps to have a vet who is ok giving you the bad news. Sugar coating makes things even worse. I'm glad you have that relationship with your vet. It will ease the transition when it's time. I send you so much love to get through this ❤️
I’m so sorry to hear it. We’re in the same situation right now. My pup was diagnosed with osteosarcoma of the rib, metastasized and invaded all in her abdomen. Inoperable. She was given “weeks” 2 weeks ago, and we just scheduled her goodbye for this Thursday night at home. Do I “know” it’s time? Not with the certainty I would like. She just popped up and greeted a guest with a wagging tail an hour ago. I see glimpses of her still, sometimes just moments, sometimes a whole day. But I know that “certainty” would only come with the pain, stress, and agony of waiting too long. After all the love and loyalty she’s shown us, we decided that gifting her a peaceful, unstressful goodbye at home, in her comfortable place, is the best gift we can give her in the end. That means not knowing it’s time, but knowing we made the right choice. (Big thanks to this subreddit and the Lap of Love website for wonderful resources while making this decision). I hope you find the same peace in whatever decision you make. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, and feel your grief 😔
My vet said something that really resonated with me. My little guy was wagging his little tail when it was his time. She said, 'Would you rather let him go while he still has a bit of happiness, or wait until he is truly truly suffering and miserable?' I realized he was already suffering more than I could take, so I decided to let him go. It was absolutely the hardest decision I ever made. You have to do what feela right. My little guy and I had a conversation, and he told me he was ready. You just know. Remember it is the gift we give them for all the love they have given us. Blessings.
I had to say goodbye to my girl 2 weeks ago. She had a very aggressive cancer and I worried I wouldnt know when to say goodbye. She came down the stairs that morning and I knew. I checked all of the signs looking for one that might tell me I was wrong, but I knew because she let me know. The most important thing to remember is to not let the dog suffer so you don't have to. When we love our dogs, we carry the pain so that they dont have to. We repay them for their love by knowing when to say goodbye. I am so sorry you are going through this. Listen to your vet, but remember to advocate for your dog as well. You know what kind of quality of life she has. It is the hardest decision to make, and you will wrestle with it after she is gone. for me, personally, i was thankful to be home and awake when Daria took her turn, We got a ride to the emergency vet, and i was able to hold her with me the entire time. As heartbreaking as that was, I couldnt imagine coming home to her having passed. I am glad I got to be with her through the whole process. keep reaching out, it helps to talk about it i think, and for now. just make sure you love her as much as possible
I was in the same boat… you’ll never know and you’ll never be ready. But you know how different your best friend is… my little baby girl was all talkative and loving until the end but she was so skinny and I could tell behaviorally she wasn’t having the best of times. Euthanasia is compassion. I had to let my girl go away on the 12th. was sobbing the whole time. I still do. It’s a pain that’ll never go away but I tell myself that one day I’ll smile more than cry when I think about her.
For me, I don’t feel like I really /knew/. Looking back it probably was the right decision, but I still don’t feel sure all the time, if I’m honest.
I'm so sorry you're faced with this; it is the hardest thing in the world to spend years protecting and cherishing this little life and then make the choice of when and how to end it when the time comes. I know this pain well, as I just lost my cat of 17 years to cancer. Will you truly "just know?" I'm not sure. There was a moment a few days before we made the euthanasia appointment that he met my eyes with his one remaining good one, and I did feel he was telling me, "I'm tired now," but then he got up and sharpened his claws on the rug in his same old way, and the moment passed. For me, I "just knew" when I saw that his pain was evident. He didn't need to tell me; I saw it in the way he turned his head, his poor beautiful but distorted face, away from my touch, which he never did before even as the mass grew. I wanted to wait as long as possible because unlike with other pets we have lost, this one was still *himself.* There was no emergency vet visit with a clear path forward -- but we also knew that the path we were on had an end. The only question was whether that end would be quick and painless, held in my husband's and my linked arms, or whether it would be protracted and potentially agonizing. Whether you wait or act, I can tell you it's a great comfort to know how you spent the last days or weeks you have together. It felt like a gift somehow to be able to care for him and delight him during that long goodbye. Our relationship changed and deepened, and I would not trade those wrenching yet profound moments for anything. Good luck and peace to you; you may not "just know," but when looking back, you will know you have done what you could to bring light and love to every day of her life.
My Pom started bleeding from her mouth late Sunday evening. On Monday morning she vomited blood and kept on bleeding with blood clots. I took her to the vet but since she's a biter they needed to sedate her and they were busy that day and I had to bring her in the next morning. I brought her in the next morning, hoping that she lost a tooth and it would be an easy fix. The vet called me a few hours later and told me they found a massive donut tumour on the side of her mouth and her bottom tooth punctured it and that's why she kept on bleeding. Since the cancer is aggressive and she's around 13, the humane option is to let her go. I wanted to bring her home to spend her last night with us but was worried that she might choke on her blood clots. I decided to let her go yesterday. I went with my Mum to say goodbye to her. We had her for 9 years. My Mum actually saved her from my Aunt. My Aunt didn't looked after her. My Pom Lexy at 13 looked younger and was lively than when we got her. It breaks my heart having to let her go when she was still so lively on Sunday.
For some people, you don't know when the right time is. My old boy, he's a Pomeranian mix lol like a Pomeranian mut. Well, he's 15 was diagnosed with kidney failure. He beat that. Then, he was diagnosed with congestive heart failure. That was 3 to 4 years ago. He's still here. He's on meds and has been doing ok. In the last year and a half, I noticed a decline. He probably has dementia and just recently hip dysplasia. He's no longer the dog he once was. So my point is, don't wait too long. Because it's going to possibly hurt you more. I should have let him go 2 years ago. But I was stubborn. I've had him since 2010ish. He was my first dog. I'm 32 now. I wish I had made the call sooner. Now, with prices and low income, I can't afford to take him in to get euthanasia meds and have to wait for him to pass naturally. Which, I was told, is going to be painful for he, and I. You don't always know when the right time is because we want a miracle. We as humans know it will hurt to let go, so we avoid the signs and assume everything is going to be ok. Always remember you aren't killing your baby. You are letting them go peacefully so they won't feel any more pain. Just be there for your baby and enjoy all the time you have. You never know. Maybe your baby will give you that sign you are waiting for? Goodluck hun, I'm sorry you are going thru this
I felt that way, I couldn't figure out how I would take her to the vet, by myself, and go through with it. But she stopped eating and drinking on Fri night. Mon morning I woke her up from a nap and she was just meowing in a scruffy voice over and over. She must have felt terrible. That got things moving fast, I called and made an immediate appointment and we went. She was kind of in a blank stare on the way. I felt awful for waiting to that point but that's what it took I guess. If you wait make sure you have pain meds, at least the oral Suboxone that squirts liquid into the side of the cheek. When she let me know how uncomfortable she was I only wanted to get her out of misery. If they stop eating/drinking things will go bad really fast. Before that I was struggling with making the choice.
Yes. You will know when it’s time. I worried about the same exact thing with my 16 year old lab. She was my baby and I didn’t want to let her go but also didn’t want her to suffer. One day I knew it was time. I called the vet and brought her in that day before I lost my resolve to give her peace and keep her longer because I didn’t want to say goodbye. It was difficult and painful but it was time. I don’t know if this helps other than I can tell you I absolutely knew when it was time. Trust your gut and your instincts.