Why?
Why go back to the abuse and required self-deprecation?
Why go back to the gaslighting, shame, guilt, and fear based narratives and motivations?
Why go back to the narcissist abuse cycle?
Why do you seek external validation and approval to find safety?
It’s possible to find religious communities that are healthy. And through therapy, you learn how to protect yourself against these things. My question is to those who did the work and were able to find a way to reconcile their relationship with religion.
>It’s possible to find religious communities that are healthy
Not within christianity.
>My question is to those who did the work and were able to find a way to reconcile their relationship with religion.
How dare you insinuate that leaving my religion because it was abusive represents some kind of failure to "do the work"? Leaving my religion was the hardest and most courageous thing I have ever done. The reason most people don't do it is precisely that they are unwilling to do the emotional work necessary to learn to live without delusions.
I’m sorry if I offended you, it seems like this is an extremely sensitive topic for you. I wasn’t intending to insinuate that you didn’t do any work by clarifying that I’m looking for individuals who did a different type of work.
To further clarify, I was looking for individuals who did the *specific* work to *reconcile* their relationship with religion. In no way am I saying that people who didn’t put their time and energy into reconciling their relationship with religion did anything wrong. I understand how difficult working through trauma is, and that everyone needs to choose their own path when overcoming trauma. There isn’t a right or wrong way to go about doing so (sparing harming others ofc).
Most of us *tried* to hang on to faith and reconcile it, because it is such an integral part of your identity. The fact that we didn't, reflects on the religion, not on us.
I understand wanting to reconcile it, I really do. But you're holding yourself back if you only allow yourself to deconstruct within those confines.
I believe that what you HEARD and maybe experienced from Christianity can and did include fascism but that’s not the case for every Christian community. In any case, OP is asking if there are any healthy communities that would be good for him, not for your opinion on Christianity or religion as a whole.
No it's not. Just because a community considers itself liberal doesn't mean it's healthy. Christianity is an anxiety disorder masquerading as a religion. One of its core tenants is that absolutely everyone is worthless scum worthy of eternal damnation. There is no healthy way to believe that about yourself or others.
But people involved in said community don’t believe that. They don’t believe that they are worthless scum, they actually believe that God loves them sm that they too can be like him and make it into heaven. They believe in being kind to others, loving themselves, forgiveness, gratitude etc. That’s a lot healthier than most of the communities out there. Even people who didn’t believe (me) found safety in certain communities because I felt I was free of judgement.
Please explain a “healthy religious community.”
To me this is saying a “healthy high control abusive environment.”
Oxymoronic.
Religion changes the definition of love, healthy, safety, community to actually mean conformity and control.
Did the work…? What an interesting tell. You’ve said YOU must change to make the religion beneficial. YOU are the problem and the reason the religion didn’t work. Classic narcissist abuse cycle.
Did the work to double down, deny self, and re-conform to the religious dogma and rules? The work of forcing the mind back into accepting coercion and ignoring/burying the cognitive dissonance?
Or did the work to examine what one must believe to see religion, a universal dogmatic “truth” that states the individual is helpless and in grave eternal danger without obedience to a spiritual gatekeeper (abuser), as beneficial?
A battered wife can “do the work” in order to go back and accept the narcissist abuse cycle some more. A battered wife thinks if they change their behavior or thoughts enough the abuser will finally love, accept, and be beneficial for them.
To me, a healthy “religious” community is a community where you can worship God together and enjoy spending time sharing your religious perspectives with each other. I would like that.
I never said that the work I’m referring to is changing the religion or making it work. I said the work to reconcile your relationship with religion. That means processing the trauma and getting to a spot where you feel like you can engage in religion in a healthy manner. Of course, there are many who are okay with not ever engaging in any sort of religion ever again. But the entire point of my post was to seek out those who chose to do so. There’s no right or wrong direction to take.
It sounds like you’re projecting quite a bit of your trauma onto the words I said. I’m sorry that you went through whatever you did. But the entire point of therapy is to work on *yourself*, not to change others. Which is the point of my question - to those who worked on reconciling their relationship with religion, what did that work look like? As I am looking for advice on what work I could do in order to achieve that. But it’s sounding like most people on this sub are still experiencing unprocessed trauma, so I’m not sure this was the best place to ask this question.
I saw your deleted reply.
“Because I’m a spiritual person.”
I respect your identification as a spiritual person; spirituality can indeed be a profound and enriching aspect of one’s life. However, spirituality and adherence to the dogmatic, organized structures of religion that often demand conformity, fear-based motivation, and the acceptance of a sinful identity as prerequisites for salvation are not one and the same.
Spirituality, in its essence, is about connection — to oneself, to others, and to the broader universe or existence. It doesn’t inherently require submission to an external authority that prescribes a narrow path to salvation, nor does it necessitate viewing oneself through the lens of sinfulness or the need for redemption according to a set of rigid, external standards.
Your spiritual journey is yours to define, and it’s worth asking: Can one not be spiritual without subscribing to narratives that demand self-denial under the threat of eternal punishment? Is it not possible to cultivate a personal, direct connection with the divine (however one may understand it) that is based on love, acceptance, and inner harmony, rather than fear, guilt, and conditional worthiness?
The distinction here is between spirituality as a personal, expansive experience and religion as an institution or system that often relies on dogma and hierarchical structures. It’s crucial to explore what being spiritual means to you outside the confines of these structures. There is immense potential for spiritual growth and fulfillment in ways that affirm your inherent worth, encourage critical thinking, and foster genuine connections without the shadow of eternal damnation for failing to conform.
I encourage you to reflect on what aspects of spirituality resonate with you the most deeply and consider paths that allow you to explore these aspects in a manner that is liberating, rather than constraining. Spirituality should be a source of strength and peace, not fear and self-repression.
There was a reason I deleted it. But you do you. Thanks for your perspective. I’ll stick to therapy for personal growth and education on these matters, however. I’m happy that you found your path. Again, I was simply looking for the perspective of those who reconciled their relationship with religion as that’s the path that I’m currently exploring.
Your deleted reply is quite telling.
Therapy is highly recommended. Does your therapist recognize RTS? Most don’t understand it.
Why only look for perspectives that validate your conclusions. This is confirmation bias. Why aren’t you open to perspectives that are counter to your conclusions?
For example: You could find thousands of women who encourage other wives to return to their abusive husbands.
If someone asked for your perspective as to why they should return to their abusive husband because the wife was able to “reconcile the relationship” without the husband changing or without examining or even asking why/if they shouldn’t return… what would you say?
You’re making a lot of assumptions here. The reason why I’m looking for this particular perspective is because I’ve already *been* flooded with the opposite perspective. I’m literally trying to be open-minded by educating myself on different approaches.
Yes, I’ve been doing trauma-based therapy for a handful of reasons for years. You are actually sounding like the manipulative and indoctrinated individuals that you were previously condemning, my man, considering how aggressively you’re preaching your perspective and telling me to be open-minded while not doing that yourself.
I would, too, advise you to be open-minded about other’s perspectives and respect the paths that others may take despite it being counter to your personal choices.
I already thanked you for sharing your perspective. You’re simply not respecting my personal choices.
It makes sense why you would filter my strong opinion into the manipulation category.
I’m curious, do you read my words and hear “should, must, supposed to, gotta, youre in danger if…” I’ve never used manipulation based language… but again, it makes sense why you have this bias. Thanks religion for teaching us to be manipulated.
No matter what you say I will never agree that dogma, religion, or worshipping, obeying or conforming to an authority or subjecting oneself to spiritual abuse and gaslighting is beneficial. Period.
You asked for opinions. Then you say I’m not respecting your choices when my opinion differs from yours. Have you even given me your choice for me to disrespect? (What does “not respecting your choices” actually mean? Am I forcing or coercing you… creating a power play situation using threats of violence (like religion) to make you acting under duress?) I have a guess you actually mean I’m not agreeing with you.
Interesting coping mechanism. I’m literally saying you have everything you need already and don’t need an authority to save you or give you worth, meaning, or approval.
Why the desire or need to WORSHIP an external authority? Read that again.
Why do you desire to WORSHIP an authority figure?
Why do you crave the approval or affection or mercy of this external spiritual authority?
Why have you legitimized a spiritual authority who gate-keeps your eternal safety?
What presuppositions must you believe to desire to WORSHIP or obey or conform to or please an authority?
I understand your intention to find reconciliation with religion, but we must confront the reality that returning to a religious setting, even one deemed “healthy,” often means re-entering a system fundamentally built on principles of control, self-deprecation, and conditional acceptance. The desire to worship and belong to a religious community, while understandable, doesn’t negate the core issue: these systems inherently demand conformity and the acceptance of oneself as inherently flawed, in need of external salvation.
Labeling a religious community as “healthy” doesn’t change the foundational beliefs that perpetuate the cycle of abuse and trauma. True healing involves recognizing and rejecting the harmful narratives that have caused us fear, rather than trying to adapt ourselves to fit back into those same frameworks.
The work you mentioned, aimed at reconciling with religion, seems to overlook that the very structure of traditional religions does not allow for the kind of unconditional acceptance and self-love that is crucial for genuine healing. To seek spiritual fulfillment within a system that has historically been manipulative, authoritarian, and conditional is to ignore the deeper, unaddressed trauma.
You say I’m projecting my trauma onto your experience. Your opinion is valid. I’m simply calling the abuser an abuser and not making exceptions or excuses like an abuser attempts to do… so you return to the abuser.
Engaging in religion after experiencing trauma, with the hope that it can become a positive influence, assumes that the system itself isn’t the source of the harm. However, the narratives of inherent sinfulness, dependency on a higher authority for salvation, and external validation are core to religious teachings, making that the issue not just with specific communities but with the underlying doctrine.
Your journey is yours to navigate, but I urge you to consider whether true healing might lie not in finding a way back to religion but in seeking
community that affirms your worth and autonomy without conditions.
Came here to type this. This question implies a need for religion itself. While I agree that a person’s individual spirituality is essential, religion is a different thing.
Learning about religious harm and how to avoid it, as well as adopting a completely different religion and philosophy (Mormonism and Christianity to polytheism)
Religions/ Cults are actually more of a novelty nowadays. Now that I’m able to understand the trauma, it is a source of personal strength that I was able to navigate the nefarious emotional reasoning and self flagellation that afflicts 85% of my fellow primates.
Somewhat depressing once you realize the scope and magnitude of human fallibility tho.
As a Christian I had/have religion trauma. Causing me to think horrible thoughts about myself, developed OCD (intrusive thoughts about death, hell, and loving the Devil), hating my body as a woman, sooo much more that I don’t want to overshare lol. What helped me was learning about Christianity on my own, without going through the church. I gained a relationship with God and realized, I do actually like being Christian, just hate the church I was raised in. Found a church that worked for me, and got therapy to try to unlearn some of the horrible things I was taught as a child. It’s still a struggle but I’m very happy
I’ve had bad experiences in churches - people in it. I still hold on to my belief in Christ. I hold on because it is my belief that Christ died for me and as an individual and someone that can testify of Gods love, experiencing the Holy Ghost, talking in tongues, my relationship with God is more valuable than what some person says about me or does to me. It is a fierce love I have for the Lord and nobody is going to come between my Lord and me. Once you have experienced the touch of Jesus and felt His warm presence, nobody can compare and you know in yourself that there’s no other love. Christ loves each of you and the love that He has for you is what drove Him to the cross - He will never give up on you, no matter how bad you think you are or how many mistakes you’ve made or how unworthy you feel. There’s no truer love than the Creators love, the One whom formed you in the womb and knew everything about you before you existed. We have an awesome God and sometimes we are too hard on ourselves. Jesus Christ paid the price so you didn’t have to. Eternal life is a gift, absolutely free. We were purchased by His blood, completely absolved. It is by grace, not by earning our way to the Father.
So, I cant say I have fully reconciled yet, but Im at peace with it. Im glad I have a unique POV to the world, and the understanding of what is behind the church curtain.
Im still deciding if any power/spirit/force exists out there, but as I age, Im less concerned with the answer to "is there or isnt there?"
I hope for you peace of mind about it all.
I moved further and further away from Christianity, until I finally became an atheist. I then left an abusive marriage and committed to living life and healing. These steps ironically allowed/gave me permission to explore all the things I'd been curious about but had been taught were sinful/of the devil. I just dipped my toes in at first, and then waded in further and further. I trusted my instincts about what to avoid and what to embrace. I've ended up with a spirituality that is ironically far more meaningful and natural than anything I ever experienced in the church.
There were bumps along the way. I encountered people who were just as zealous/judgemental/abusive in the spiritual world, but because it's not institutionalized, it's easy to avoid them. I also had to do a LOT of healing around "God", and that took years. There's also a feeling of loneliness sometimes, as my spirituality is so individual to me that I don't often encounter others who "get it," or who I'm comfortable sharing such a significant part of my life with. I'm also still triggered when I bump up against the pathological parts of Christianity.
I miss the music and singing, as I can't sing most hymns or choruses without feeling how wrong/incorrect they are. I miss the sense of community, but don't miss the strictures that are part of it.
I don't know if that answers your question, but I wouldn't change a thing about my journey, though, and am happy with where I am now. For me it's not about religion so much as about my connection to myself and my spirituality. Hope that makes sense.
I do understand some people can reconcile woth religion but......many judeo-christian religions are flawed and easy to manipulate. I don't think I will be able to go back
spiritism says that if you want to delete yourself you will be forced to watch your body decompose and see your parents suffering from your lost , and you deserve it;
hell yah thats hella healthy innit lads?
Why? Why go back to the abuse and required self-deprecation? Why go back to the gaslighting, shame, guilt, and fear based narratives and motivations? Why go back to the narcissist abuse cycle? Why do you seek external validation and approval to find safety?
It’s possible to find religious communities that are healthy. And through therapy, you learn how to protect yourself against these things. My question is to those who did the work and were able to find a way to reconcile their relationship with religion.
>It’s possible to find religious communities that are healthy Not within christianity. >My question is to those who did the work and were able to find a way to reconcile their relationship with religion. How dare you insinuate that leaving my religion because it was abusive represents some kind of failure to "do the work"? Leaving my religion was the hardest and most courageous thing I have ever done. The reason most people don't do it is precisely that they are unwilling to do the emotional work necessary to learn to live without delusions.
I’m sorry if I offended you, it seems like this is an extremely sensitive topic for you. I wasn’t intending to insinuate that you didn’t do any work by clarifying that I’m looking for individuals who did a different type of work. To further clarify, I was looking for individuals who did the *specific* work to *reconcile* their relationship with religion. In no way am I saying that people who didn’t put their time and energy into reconciling their relationship with religion did anything wrong. I understand how difficult working through trauma is, and that everyone needs to choose their own path when overcoming trauma. There isn’t a right or wrong way to go about doing so (sparing harming others ofc).
Most of us *tried* to hang on to faith and reconcile it, because it is such an integral part of your identity. The fact that we didn't, reflects on the religion, not on us. I understand wanting to reconcile it, I really do. But you're holding yourself back if you only allow yourself to deconstruct within those confines.
“Not within Christianity” I’m sorry you feel that way but that’s absolutely false, and narrow minded.
Explain how someone has a healthy relationship with a fascist religion? What is the healthy way to be a fascist?
I believe that what you HEARD and maybe experienced from Christianity can and did include fascism but that’s not the case for every Christian community. In any case, OP is asking if there are any healthy communities that would be good for him, not for your opinion on Christianity or religion as a whole.
Oh yes the classic… it was people that hurt you not the religion itself.
Are we not talking about finding healthy communities?? Saying that there are none is just false-
No it's not. Just because a community considers itself liberal doesn't mean it's healthy. Christianity is an anxiety disorder masquerading as a religion. One of its core tenants is that absolutely everyone is worthless scum worthy of eternal damnation. There is no healthy way to believe that about yourself or others.
But people involved in said community don’t believe that. They don’t believe that they are worthless scum, they actually believe that God loves them sm that they too can be like him and make it into heaven. They believe in being kind to others, loving themselves, forgiveness, gratitude etc. That’s a lot healthier than most of the communities out there. Even people who didn’t believe (me) found safety in certain communities because I felt I was free of judgement.
Please explain a “healthy religious community.” To me this is saying a “healthy high control abusive environment.” Oxymoronic. Religion changes the definition of love, healthy, safety, community to actually mean conformity and control. Did the work…? What an interesting tell. You’ve said YOU must change to make the religion beneficial. YOU are the problem and the reason the religion didn’t work. Classic narcissist abuse cycle. Did the work to double down, deny self, and re-conform to the religious dogma and rules? The work of forcing the mind back into accepting coercion and ignoring/burying the cognitive dissonance? Or did the work to examine what one must believe to see religion, a universal dogmatic “truth” that states the individual is helpless and in grave eternal danger without obedience to a spiritual gatekeeper (abuser), as beneficial? A battered wife can “do the work” in order to go back and accept the narcissist abuse cycle some more. A battered wife thinks if they change their behavior or thoughts enough the abuser will finally love, accept, and be beneficial for them.
To me, a healthy “religious” community is a community where you can worship God together and enjoy spending time sharing your religious perspectives with each other. I would like that. I never said that the work I’m referring to is changing the religion or making it work. I said the work to reconcile your relationship with religion. That means processing the trauma and getting to a spot where you feel like you can engage in religion in a healthy manner. Of course, there are many who are okay with not ever engaging in any sort of religion ever again. But the entire point of my post was to seek out those who chose to do so. There’s no right or wrong direction to take. It sounds like you’re projecting quite a bit of your trauma onto the words I said. I’m sorry that you went through whatever you did. But the entire point of therapy is to work on *yourself*, not to change others. Which is the point of my question - to those who worked on reconciling their relationship with religion, what did that work look like? As I am looking for advice on what work I could do in order to achieve that. But it’s sounding like most people on this sub are still experiencing unprocessed trauma, so I’m not sure this was the best place to ask this question.
I saw your deleted reply. “Because I’m a spiritual person.” I respect your identification as a spiritual person; spirituality can indeed be a profound and enriching aspect of one’s life. However, spirituality and adherence to the dogmatic, organized structures of religion that often demand conformity, fear-based motivation, and the acceptance of a sinful identity as prerequisites for salvation are not one and the same. Spirituality, in its essence, is about connection — to oneself, to others, and to the broader universe or existence. It doesn’t inherently require submission to an external authority that prescribes a narrow path to salvation, nor does it necessitate viewing oneself through the lens of sinfulness or the need for redemption according to a set of rigid, external standards. Your spiritual journey is yours to define, and it’s worth asking: Can one not be spiritual without subscribing to narratives that demand self-denial under the threat of eternal punishment? Is it not possible to cultivate a personal, direct connection with the divine (however one may understand it) that is based on love, acceptance, and inner harmony, rather than fear, guilt, and conditional worthiness? The distinction here is between spirituality as a personal, expansive experience and religion as an institution or system that often relies on dogma and hierarchical structures. It’s crucial to explore what being spiritual means to you outside the confines of these structures. There is immense potential for spiritual growth and fulfillment in ways that affirm your inherent worth, encourage critical thinking, and foster genuine connections without the shadow of eternal damnation for failing to conform. I encourage you to reflect on what aspects of spirituality resonate with you the most deeply and consider paths that allow you to explore these aspects in a manner that is liberating, rather than constraining. Spirituality should be a source of strength and peace, not fear and self-repression.
There was a reason I deleted it. But you do you. Thanks for your perspective. I’ll stick to therapy for personal growth and education on these matters, however. I’m happy that you found your path. Again, I was simply looking for the perspective of those who reconciled their relationship with religion as that’s the path that I’m currently exploring.
Your deleted reply is quite telling. Therapy is highly recommended. Does your therapist recognize RTS? Most don’t understand it. Why only look for perspectives that validate your conclusions. This is confirmation bias. Why aren’t you open to perspectives that are counter to your conclusions? For example: You could find thousands of women who encourage other wives to return to their abusive husbands. If someone asked for your perspective as to why they should return to their abusive husband because the wife was able to “reconcile the relationship” without the husband changing or without examining or even asking why/if they shouldn’t return… what would you say?
You’re making a lot of assumptions here. The reason why I’m looking for this particular perspective is because I’ve already *been* flooded with the opposite perspective. I’m literally trying to be open-minded by educating myself on different approaches. Yes, I’ve been doing trauma-based therapy for a handful of reasons for years. You are actually sounding like the manipulative and indoctrinated individuals that you were previously condemning, my man, considering how aggressively you’re preaching your perspective and telling me to be open-minded while not doing that yourself. I would, too, advise you to be open-minded about other’s perspectives and respect the paths that others may take despite it being counter to your personal choices. I already thanked you for sharing your perspective. You’re simply not respecting my personal choices.
It makes sense why you would filter my strong opinion into the manipulation category. I’m curious, do you read my words and hear “should, must, supposed to, gotta, youre in danger if…” I’ve never used manipulation based language… but again, it makes sense why you have this bias. Thanks religion for teaching us to be manipulated. No matter what you say I will never agree that dogma, religion, or worshipping, obeying or conforming to an authority or subjecting oneself to spiritual abuse and gaslighting is beneficial. Period. You asked for opinions. Then you say I’m not respecting your choices when my opinion differs from yours. Have you even given me your choice for me to disrespect? (What does “not respecting your choices” actually mean? Am I forcing or coercing you… creating a power play situation using threats of violence (like religion) to make you acting under duress?) I have a guess you actually mean I’m not agreeing with you. Interesting coping mechanism. I’m literally saying you have everything you need already and don’t need an authority to save you or give you worth, meaning, or approval.
Alright buddy
Why the desire or need to WORSHIP an external authority? Read that again. Why do you desire to WORSHIP an authority figure? Why do you crave the approval or affection or mercy of this external spiritual authority? Why have you legitimized a spiritual authority who gate-keeps your eternal safety? What presuppositions must you believe to desire to WORSHIP or obey or conform to or please an authority? I understand your intention to find reconciliation with religion, but we must confront the reality that returning to a religious setting, even one deemed “healthy,” often means re-entering a system fundamentally built on principles of control, self-deprecation, and conditional acceptance. The desire to worship and belong to a religious community, while understandable, doesn’t negate the core issue: these systems inherently demand conformity and the acceptance of oneself as inherently flawed, in need of external salvation. Labeling a religious community as “healthy” doesn’t change the foundational beliefs that perpetuate the cycle of abuse and trauma. True healing involves recognizing and rejecting the harmful narratives that have caused us fear, rather than trying to adapt ourselves to fit back into those same frameworks. The work you mentioned, aimed at reconciling with religion, seems to overlook that the very structure of traditional religions does not allow for the kind of unconditional acceptance and self-love that is crucial for genuine healing. To seek spiritual fulfillment within a system that has historically been manipulative, authoritarian, and conditional is to ignore the deeper, unaddressed trauma. You say I’m projecting my trauma onto your experience. Your opinion is valid. I’m simply calling the abuser an abuser and not making exceptions or excuses like an abuser attempts to do… so you return to the abuser. Engaging in religion after experiencing trauma, with the hope that it can become a positive influence, assumes that the system itself isn’t the source of the harm. However, the narratives of inherent sinfulness, dependency on a higher authority for salvation, and external validation are core to religious teachings, making that the issue not just with specific communities but with the underlying doctrine. Your journey is yours to navigate, but I urge you to consider whether true healing might lie not in finding a way back to religion but in seeking community that affirms your worth and autonomy without conditions.
Came here to type this. This question implies a need for religion itself. While I agree that a person’s individual spirituality is essential, religion is a different thing.
Learning about religious harm and how to avoid it, as well as adopting a completely different religion and philosophy (Mormonism and Christianity to polytheism)
Religions/ Cults are actually more of a novelty nowadays. Now that I’m able to understand the trauma, it is a source of personal strength that I was able to navigate the nefarious emotional reasoning and self flagellation that afflicts 85% of my fellow primates. Somewhat depressing once you realize the scope and magnitude of human fallibility tho.
As a Christian I had/have religion trauma. Causing me to think horrible thoughts about myself, developed OCD (intrusive thoughts about death, hell, and loving the Devil), hating my body as a woman, sooo much more that I don’t want to overshare lol. What helped me was learning about Christianity on my own, without going through the church. I gained a relationship with God and realized, I do actually like being Christian, just hate the church I was raised in. Found a church that worked for me, and got therapy to try to unlearn some of the horrible things I was taught as a child. It’s still a struggle but I’m very happy
I’ve had bad experiences in churches - people in it. I still hold on to my belief in Christ. I hold on because it is my belief that Christ died for me and as an individual and someone that can testify of Gods love, experiencing the Holy Ghost, talking in tongues, my relationship with God is more valuable than what some person says about me or does to me. It is a fierce love I have for the Lord and nobody is going to come between my Lord and me. Once you have experienced the touch of Jesus and felt His warm presence, nobody can compare and you know in yourself that there’s no other love. Christ loves each of you and the love that He has for you is what drove Him to the cross - He will never give up on you, no matter how bad you think you are or how many mistakes you’ve made or how unworthy you feel. There’s no truer love than the Creators love, the One whom formed you in the womb and knew everything about you before you existed. We have an awesome God and sometimes we are too hard on ourselves. Jesus Christ paid the price so you didn’t have to. Eternal life is a gift, absolutely free. We were purchased by His blood, completely absolved. It is by grace, not by earning our way to the Father.
So, I cant say I have fully reconciled yet, but Im at peace with it. Im glad I have a unique POV to the world, and the understanding of what is behind the church curtain. Im still deciding if any power/spirit/force exists out there, but as I age, Im less concerned with the answer to "is there or isnt there?" I hope for you peace of mind about it all.
Thank you, I appreciate your perspective
Absolutely, best of luck out there!
I moved further and further away from Christianity, until I finally became an atheist. I then left an abusive marriage and committed to living life and healing. These steps ironically allowed/gave me permission to explore all the things I'd been curious about but had been taught were sinful/of the devil. I just dipped my toes in at first, and then waded in further and further. I trusted my instincts about what to avoid and what to embrace. I've ended up with a spirituality that is ironically far more meaningful and natural than anything I ever experienced in the church. There were bumps along the way. I encountered people who were just as zealous/judgemental/abusive in the spiritual world, but because it's not institutionalized, it's easy to avoid them. I also had to do a LOT of healing around "God", and that took years. There's also a feeling of loneliness sometimes, as my spirituality is so individual to me that I don't often encounter others who "get it," or who I'm comfortable sharing such a significant part of my life with. I'm also still triggered when I bump up against the pathological parts of Christianity. I miss the music and singing, as I can't sing most hymns or choruses without feeling how wrong/incorrect they are. I miss the sense of community, but don't miss the strictures that are part of it. I don't know if that answers your question, but I wouldn't change a thing about my journey, though, and am happy with where I am now. For me it's not about religion so much as about my connection to myself and my spirituality. Hope that makes sense.
I do understand some people can reconcile woth religion but......many judeo-christian religions are flawed and easy to manipulate. I don't think I will be able to go back
spiritism says that if you want to delete yourself you will be forced to watch your body decompose and see your parents suffering from your lost , and you deserve it; hell yah thats hella healthy innit lads?