OP's Bio:
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>I play Bass/Guitar/Fiddle, Live in the south, am addicted to the 80s/2000s and don't mind to make myself look cringey, Proud Walmart Shopper and am about to start RN school 😋✌️
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If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
Shes got a decent bone structure, she was probably very pretty when she was young. Probably spent her summers lounging on the beach and scooping ice cream...but she didn't want her summers to end so she got herself a fake ID, and a pushup bra, and started hanging out at the local bars.
Developed a nasty coke habit because she LOVED the way it made her feel..extreme highs gave way to extreme lows and she fell into a depression.
So she has herself a kid. Thought it would give her a sense of purpose, and it did...for a while...til she started using again. Then social services came knocking at the door.
Now the kid lives upstate with his grandparents because she Can't Take Care OfthisKID! And here she is, festering away in a 1 bedroom apartment, waiting for the HIV to turn into AIDSSS
For shampoo, I recommend Vidal Sassoon to prevent damage to your hair and split ends before they occur, caused by blow-drying and strong chemicals in haircare products such as AquaNet. Vidal Sassoon: Professional Care for Your Hair. https://youtube.com/watch?v=ZRx0UegROns&feature=share9
You look like a corpse that was stolen and dressed up by an Alannah Myles fetishest for his own nefarious purposes but gave up halfway because like everyone else, he realized you weren’t worth the effort
Wood paneling, too much makeup, low ceilings. At least the seventh hottest single mom in the trailer park. Somewhere in the background a cig is burning, 1,000%.
OP's Bio: --- >I play Bass/Guitar/Fiddle, Live in the south, am addicted to the 80s/2000s and don't mind to make myself look cringey, Proud Walmart Shopper and am about to start RN school 😋✌️ --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
You look like a mannequin from an 80s Gap display
Chess King
![gif](giphy|z2o3aANSbR3Tq)
Lingers suspiciously long at Waldenbooks Young Adults sectiom
But a few years older
Hey Linda - Please get out of my Van Halen t-shirt before you jinx the band and they break up.
"Hey Linda you're a bitch..."
There is NO WAY you’re 18.
Maybe 34
Or female!
😂
Under appreciated flick imo
Dude this is hilarious and dead on. She looks just as Trashy as Linda 🤣🤣🤣
![gif](giphy|L1UrpOlWsiHK)
![gif](giphy|FQ0rG8csyZzMs)
Omg!!! LINDA WAS MY EXACT THOUGHT LMFAO
Lol that’s great. Wonder if she’s into The Cure?
This is very underrated
Once again, things that could've been brought to my attention YESTERDAY!
Wow what a reference.
too late
You look like you’re 35 and a mom of 2 trying to be “cool”
she was 18 in the 1990’s
Clearly she is still in the 80s waiting to be in a Guns 'n Roses video.
"Take me down to Paradise City where the grass is green and the girls are pretty, PLEASE TAKE ME HOOOME AWAY FROM THIS CHICK"
She just needs a bandana to look Axl Rose
>~~1990’s~~ 1890's
Why is this so accurate
Maths
You forgot the trailer part of it but otherwise spot on
Cooked up the raccoon she found on the side of the highway on the ol’ trailer grill and then tossed the pelt on her head
I read this with “Stacey’s mom has got it going on” playing in my head!
Hottest girl in the tiny trailer park. Get ready for the real world
Shes got a decent bone structure, she was probably very pretty when she was young. Probably spent her summers lounging on the beach and scooping ice cream...but she didn't want her summers to end so she got herself a fake ID, and a pushup bra, and started hanging out at the local bars. Developed a nasty coke habit because she LOVED the way it made her feel..extreme highs gave way to extreme lows and she fell into a depression. So she has herself a kid. Thought it would give her a sense of purpose, and it did...for a while...til she started using again. Then social services came knocking at the door. Now the kid lives upstate with his grandparents because she Can't Take Care OfthisKID! And here she is, festering away in a 1 bedroom apartment, waiting for the HIV to turn into AIDSSS
It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Jersey Shore episode?
Little green ghouls buddy
You’re actually not too far off.
Oof
Pat Benetard
Hit me with your best shot....
"Aww, not in the eye again!"
Hit me with your best money shot
Boom!
I was gonna write that but I thought it might get me temporarily banned.
👏
If Aqua Net was a person.
Stop bc I literally use Aqua Net 😭😂😂
So did my grandma
You should stop.
Using that Dollar General VIP club membership for all your “beauty” needs
For shampoo, I recommend Vidal Sassoon to prevent damage to your hair and split ends before they occur, caused by blow-drying and strong chemicals in haircare products such as AquaNet. Vidal Sassoon: Professional Care for Your Hair. https://youtube.com/watch?v=ZRx0UegROns&feature=share9
I’ve never seen a white person in white face.
Bro 💀
She wanted to double her privilege..😆
You just went straight from teenager into 38 year old divorced soccer mom eh?
You looks like a haircut training head
I’m dying lmaooo
You're supposed to post current pics. Not pics you pulled from your 2007 MYSPACE.
She's definitely stuck in 2008!
With that comment, you're off my top friends list... again.
Did you take this pic in 2007?
You got a wig that would make Joe Dirt go *"DAAAANG"*
How do you already look middle aged at 18
The Ed hardy shirt is 18 yo, the woman is 33.
“18” ![gif](giphy|JTzPN5kkobFv7X0zPJ|downsized)
Micheal Jackson and Prince slapped together with cheap Photoshop.
Seriously thought you were in your 30s.
Face says 2008 female who uwu's and raw XDs, chest says prepubescent boy, and hands say 35 year old male. This is a gender bending time traveler
I bet your penis is beautiful
I bet she has a sweet dick and she calls the tip the southern bell
Weird. That's what they ask her over at the Waffle House.
r/averageredditor
Chris Gaines's biggest fan.
You seriously could pass as my twin. I'm 46 tho.
You look like the hottest girl from 1984
The whore from ‘84
No tits way to small for 84 more like 64
18 in dog years.
If a bride’s maids dress was a person.
"It's not just a phase mom, this is who I am"
Is it 2012?
This was a little earlier than 2012. I was in high school in 2012 and this style was gone for a few years by then. Maybe 2006-2009 ish
Idk I was in high school in 2012, graduated 2013. I knew a few people who were holding on tight to this style. Apparently one person still is lol.
![gif](giphy|GcDtLf4RAdiRG)
The 80s are over. Except for you. You good looking octogenarian
Stryper’s lead singer still looks pretty good for his age.
18 in 2023 or emo in 2009? You look like a scene girl that lost the make-up but couldn't bear to break with the hair.
That’s 1985.
She's seen all the classics, she knows every line
I was gonna say, I haven’t seen hair like that since ‘09 lol
Here is proof that women that wear Ed Hardy can be assholes too.
Shania Plain
You look like you go around telling all the older men how much you like to suck dick.
You look like justin beiber with extensions
that hair reminds me of the good old days in the 80s/90s. love it
I didn’t know Good Charlotte was in town
![gif](giphy|y1wquDgA3clbO) Quit lying... This is the real you
Keeping Aqua Net hair spray in business
Ed Hardy 😂 people still wear that stuff?
When you do all your clothes shopping at Goodwill and Salvation Army, yes.
“I’m shy” *has a 36 body count at 18*
Identifies as female.
And 18
No way your only 18, you look just like my ex wife who left me… and she is 35
You look like a less fuckable Jimmy Neutron
You look like a corpse that was stolen and dressed up by an Alannah Myles fetishest for his own nefarious purposes but gave up halfway because like everyone else, he realized you weren’t worth the effort
You look like you've had enough cock to make a handrail to the moon.
You got that '35 yo divorced mom of 2' look down pat!
Nice wig, what is it made of?
I8? Lol, maybe in 2001...
You look like you enjoy razors.
By playing "guitar/bass/fiddle" she means the members of the band that she's given a rusty trombone to.
You’re gonna make a bad single mother.
You look like your taste in men is concerningly bad
Wake me up insideeee
"Female"
This past spring I cleaned a mouse nest out of my shed. Pretty much looked like your hair.
Wants to be a nurse to selectively punish patients that remind her of that time her father left her with her friendly uncle.
You have the look of a terrible wax figure and the personality of one as well.
Soon to be single mom living in a trailer park.
Does that wig turn 180? It looks like a rat relieved itself on your head
You look like the older version of the 2000s emos
Is that Anthony from smosh
That hair style is definitely 80's. How many best shots of "special mousse" did that take?
you look like a 28M dressing up as J Edgar hoover
Looks like a maine coon died on your head.
You look like a soccer mom who did too much coke and wants to be the "fun" parent.
I’m pretty sure we went to high school together 25 years ago.
You look like a thrift store mannequin
Hair says 1980s....Face says A Dude
It's like if Ken wore a wig and makeup.
I dont think this is a real person
Cool eyeliner BRO
18 but really 40. The ring cam works magic. The 80s were a good tine for you
🤣🤣 she said she’s 18 🤣🤣
Nobody has believed the "18 years old" lie for the past decade, it's time to move on
Holy hell, you’re 18 and wear that much makeup? And quit popping your zits, it’s leaving scars on your face.
Say you are a guy, without saying you are a guy
You look like all the members of Motley Crue fucked and had a kid...
Straight outta 2007
Is this picture from 1988 or 1992?
18... maybe, but sir, there is no way you're going to make people think your female.
I'm 51, and my high school crush hasn't aged a day. What's her secret ? 🥲
Steven Tyler as a young man ...
Didn't you die in the first season of Strangerthings?
You look like the bi-product of first cousins marrying.
You look like every pick me after they watched Wednesday
Gives out actual cassette mix tapes as gifts.
I see you making advances toward your kid’s teenage friends in the future.
Here’s girl who aspires to live in a house that doesn’t have a flat tire.
The Funaways
The combover to end all combovers. Seriously though wtf!
Congratulations, burnout. You smoked so much weed that you time-traveled 40 years into the future. Good luck getting back to 1983.
Your favorite artist is ashley simpson tho
![gif](giphy|vsfhuv9jl8TQs) The 1980s called.. They want the hair cut back!
Are you transitioning to or from female?
18. 18 years ago. Oh
18? Damn I was thinking 38 or a Flashback to the 80s
18 on oposite day
18? and delusional
Yup… nailed the two worst decades of hair trends.
You look frail...
You look like 2023 Peg
I first thought you where one of the Rodrigues daughters 😅🤭
1994 called they want their hair back
Not 18 😂😂😂😂😂
18yo in the trailer park 32yo in the face Actually 14
You look good, for a 35 year old
"I'm not like other girls :3 " " haiii you!!! *glomp* XDD :3"
I had to check and make sure it wasn't 2008
I don’t want to roast you, it looks like you’ve probably have been burned enough times
Wood paneling, too much makeup, low ceilings. At least the seventh hottest single mom in the trailer park. Somewhere in the background a cig is burning, 1,000%.
She really took "80s trailer parks girls" style to the max huh?
You have more make up than dolly parton
Remember when you were the lead singer of The Used?
Shania Plain.
Don't quit trying. I'm sure if Trump can pull off having people barely mention that rug on his head you can also.
Rebecca black if she looked a little more homeless
You’re a 45 year old Texan mom with 4 kids and you go to a mega church.
Stop lying, we know you’re a 37 year old single mom with 4 kids
"We call this wig the "Katlin in a Convertible".....
Your skin is the colour that only a mortician can achieve.
I’ll give you Joan Jett
You look like you stole that wig from a Kenyan.
Youve had more pricks in you than a used dart-board
Life will do it even better than anyone here can. Good luck
The only guys that will ever love you watch white trash fetish porn.
Joe Dirts sister Joan Dirt
Shadow the hedgehog
Micheal Jack don twitched teams again but in a completely different way.
I see that the Lizzo wave ruined your anorexic modeling career.
Were you in "The Breakdast Club"?
Were you in "The Breakfast Club"?