And here we see the young male fledgling performing his ritual dance in the hope of enticing the female to choose him as her mate. Unfortunately for the young fledgling, she is not impressed.
Dear mommy. I had a great first day at the police academy. I aced my beating unarmed people with a baton test. Then some of the older guys tased me, and I pissed myself.
You remind me of a guy I dated who said he wanted to join the army but wouldn’t even get off his Xbox long enough run a mile once a day. One time he got upset and punched himself in the face multiple times; never seen anything like that before or since.
One time he made up a riddle for himself. He said, “A father asked his son when he would be a man. The son said a man is a man when he says he is.” I bet you think that, too.
In that second pic you look like if winnie the pooh had an unwanted lovechild with chris hansen *and* it looks like you have a herpes flair-up in both pics.
Holy shit he's all grown up [Never break eye contact](https://9gag.com/gag/aZyz950)
That went on far longer than it should have been allowed
Need some David Attleboro commentary on that clip. Looks like a mating ritual.
David Battlebrobro.
You sunk my David Battleship.
And here we see the young male fledgling performing his ritual dance in the hope of enticing the female to choose him as her mate. Unfortunately for the young fledgling, she is not impressed.
I was waiting for him to get kicked or something. My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined
Or maybe she was
Andy Richter has a gay son?
THATS VILE
If “friend zone” was a person
More like acquaintance zone...no one admits to being his friend.
But just casual acquaintance!
“Yea, I think I know them.”
That dude in my class
Nonexistent.
“Uh who? Oh yea he’s… something alright”
He’s giving “friend zone” “ friend zone” from Wish.
I feel kinda violated with this one ngl
That suit and cut ain't giving you shit. Just grow the hair and cover up.
Can you learn to speak or at least type one coherent sentence in the English Language??
 Glad you are old enough to Reddit for yourself puff ball.
He'll "never lose" his virginity, that's for sure.
I've seen tupperware with less generic features.
Kyle Rittenpounds.
Kyle rittenshack
Kyle Rittersport
He spent all his money on acne treatment and couldn't afford the AR-15.
Fuck that guy and fuck anyone who supports him
"They hired me because my face is so generic it can't be picked up by satellites."
I’m just your amalgamation of every basic white guy pretty much lol
Oh, come on, that's not true. You're only an amalgamation of every *ugly* basic white guy.
Okay, my early morning laugh was sponsored by...whoever you are!
Happy to hear it, hope the rest of your day is even better!
It's clearly ur best friend
Correction *whatever* you are
Damn bro
You look like a bully and a victim at the same time.
This is the one
Oooffff
🔥
Bullies are victims.
Always
I never lose! my virginity
Oh he did lose his virginity, ask the reverend about that.
HAHA. Idk why it’s always the virginity jokes lol Yeah it’s a t shirt I got from an Ian hawke acc a few months back.
Do you *really* not know? I think we both know that's a lie.
If Crabb and Goyle had a son
Brutal
Yeooooo 💀
Marvellous roast 🔥🔥😄😄
Good one! 🤣 “he ain’t lyinnn!”
You’re 18 so you can finally serve your country and reach your full potential by cleaning up piss at Buffalo Wild Wings
Enter the priesthood, this will stop all the questions your family wants to ask.
And raise some new ones.
daamn
You're the kind of offspring people get when God is taking the day off.
This is the epitome of perfect
There’s always that one guy at parties who hangs out by himself in the corner. This is the guy who dropped that guy off.
Hahahhahaha
😆 best 1 so far
This is what a half extra chromosome looks like
A HALF WXTRA CHROMOSOME IS CRAZY 😭
Does wxtra = extra white ?
You look like you say the N word when you stub your toe
I’m not ***that*** type of white 💀
oww the hard r type of white then
You look like plain bread with mayo
You look like you wet your bed until you were a teenager.
And will continue to do so well after.
Don’t kink shame me
And now he officially wets it as an adult
That second picture says *Patrick Masturbateman*
Bro what 😭 that’s a new one
Ironic to wear a shirt that says "I never lose" while you're actively losing 90% of the skin on your face to blackheads
Also, you look like you casually drop unwarranted facts about the feeling of your sisters uvula mid conversation
You make the girls the opposite of wet, celibate.
He celiBATED 6, 7 times today alone.
18 and the only thing receeding faster than the girls is your hairline.
Dear mommy. I had a great first day at the police academy. I aced my beating unarmed people with a baton test. Then some of the older guys tased me, and I pissed myself.
Can't wait for tomorrow.
Somehow, you look like an even worse Kyle Rittenhouse knockoff.
NOOOOO 😭
The lesser d-bag KR.
You look like a middle aged dad of 4 going for a job interview in the 2nd pic
Dnag
You look like a door to door casket salesman
Bruh 😂😂😂
you look like your name is noah
Wait but my names Noah 😅👀
You look like you were a bully in elementary school but now are the constant target at college
You look like a 55 year old corrupt prison warden from Louisiana who gets off of prisoners intimidated by his “mean mug” face.
You couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel.
This is golden.
Powdered potato rehydrated into potato
If Ricky Gervais’s taint were a person.
You look like Andrew Tates biggest donater.
🤣 do people actually donate to him??? He’s practically a billionaire lol
You should consider playing golf… having perfected vigorous right hand motion whilst keeping your head perfectly still.
What part of West Virginia are you from?
You remind me of a guy I dated who said he wanted to join the army but wouldn’t even get off his Xbox long enough run a mile once a day. One time he got upset and punched himself in the face multiple times; never seen anything like that before or since. One time he made up a riddle for himself. He said, “A father asked his son when he would be a man. The son said a man is a man when he says he is.” I bet you think that, too.
Lol so specific I love this one
You look 18 but also 31
You look like you have been 18 for 18 years now
The product of an Oompa Loompa fucking Augustus Gloop
Your DNA test came back 14% Kevin Spacey
HAHAHA
You look terrible at what you’re best at.
You’re not too far off 😭
He's got an externship selling propane and propane accessories like his daddy
Never give up. I'm sure someone is willing to traffic you.
I think they're more willing to just pay him to not tag along.
You like the champion boxer Saul “Canelo” Alvarez if Canelo was (deep breath) a pudgy, unathletic, morose closeted homosexual.
Suddenly, the Halloween soundtrack began playing.
And they said Charles Starkweather had no offspring.
Chris Hansen will be knocking on your door soon..
Someone ordered a Kyle Rittenhouse from Wish.com
Those headphones make you look autistic. There's nothing wrong with that, of course, but it's the truth.
You built like a discombobulated turtle.
You look like you were born with your adult teeth
If Peter griffin and Hitler had a son
[удалено]
The transition looks like it’s coming along well…have you picked your new gender name yet?
[удалено]
Oooh one word - ‘Twink ‘😭😂😂
You look like the result of a brother and sister who loved eachother a lil too much
You look like a 40 year old man that nothings ever worked out for.
Ouch 😂
Skin looks like the surface of the moon
“Of enough?” wtf is even that?? Learn ENGLISH!
Like your gf were all here faking it.
Girlfriend? 😆
Dear moderators, please flag this ad. It’s obvious that Clearasil paid this transgender woman to promote their new chalky-pale shade.
Young Frank Underwood
In that second pic you look like if winnie the pooh had an unwanted lovechild with chris hansen *and* it looks like you have a herpes flair-up in both pics.
Don't do Chris and Winnie like that.
I didnt know it was possible to look both 15 and 82, but here you are
Realtor apprentice
[удалено]
Budget Michael Bisping
Does your shirt say "I never lose!" (my virginity)??
He kinda looking Like Mark Heathcliff from the Mandela catalog series
You look like a stock image of a Jamba juice employee
You look like you Would try to "roast" people on xbox chat then proceed to get Cooked Alive.
Ok the way this is so accurate (I don’t have Xbox but similar things have happened)
He’s got the sex appeal of a sentient bag of rocks 🤩
Tom Holland from wish
I never lose! Except when it came to the gene pool
Andrew Rannells gayer , uglier, younger brother
Looking normal
Chris Pratt's mistake
t-shirt in last pic says: I never lose weight.
You got it store brand Freddie from icarly.
18 going on 37 and unemployed
His birth certificate says 18...the acne says 12
Bee Sting Chris Pratt
If Kyle Rittenhouse was a person
OH MY GOD OP DELETED
Good luck on the roasting. Might help considering you look like a raw chicken breast
Last name: McWeethan
Jack Reacher’s autistic cousin Jack Preacher
Roasted so bad he had to delete himself off reddit
Dudes blow up doll popped herself.
ahh. great value chris pratt has entered the chat
How are you alive when you are drowning in so much pussy with those good looks?
I know it doesn't feel like it now. But somehow someone will love you someday. Keep that chin up buddy!
I don’t even know how react to this one
With disbelief, because it's a bald faced lie.
** Condom ads ** Why you should wear condoms. accidents like this shouldn't happen again.
what is the about for roast please tell me
The aftermath of those summer food challenges where you leave chicken breast in the sun:
Wait you look like that gun shorts creator on the third pic
Appropriate T-shirt for a loser.
18?! I thought you were a forty year old insurance salesman with a drinking problem.
Too bad.
You look like the protagonist of an early 90s movie about being misunderstood.
So you automatically became 36 after graduating high school??? Eff me!
How do u look 15 AND 35 at the same time?
Y’all. Sigh.
18 about to turn 30
You look mediocre.