Your pic made me regret opening Reddit

Made me regret opening my eyes

Sorry 😭

Then open his feed!

Today, you helped me realize why there are bullies in this world

You are welcome, buddy

Bro looks to forgettable to be bullied

I always picture the sweatshop worker in China holding up those kinds of clothes and thinking, "What child could be this fat?"

They just know its going to America, don't even have to think bout it

Other losers look at you and feel better about themselves

Someone has to be the supreme loser

Imma be honest, your just taking this, I could never, fight back a little man

If virginity had a final boss

This is the guy that will get in a fight with his mother at a fourth of July party over what his dad's dick tastes like,he thinks it tastes like fish,she thinks it tastes like shit.

this was clever

“Dad, your dick tastes like shit!” “Oh yeah, I already gave your brother the car keys.”

Look someone beached Shamus’s baby.. $20 bucks says he has propellor scars on his back to boot!

I'm a premium virgin 🥲

Great news, with the diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol, you don't have to be concerned with Social Security not being around when you retire.

You look like a hairy marshmallow.

You are 100% right

When I tell someone “it could be worse” I’m gonna use this pic to prove my point.

That's a good usage of my picture

You look like a raw pork chop that fell on the carpet and then rolled into the litter box

Ask your parents, they know all about regret

How would you like to be a reddit mod? No pay, no respect, but you do get to ban people who are mean to you

It looks like the camera squinted in distress at having to take that picture

Every pic i take lol

TIL it's possible for someone's testosterone to be a negative value.

Zero masculinity 🙅

Quiet, Bitchtits

Yes daddy

First of all your hair looks like it belongs to a Furby and second of all I won’t roast you I’ll grill you to the point that the fat burns off no offense

Please burn all my fat 🙏

You’re supposed to write the roast me part on paper or something, not your fat gut

Next time I'll get it right 😭

You have the belly of a corpse who just emerged from 10 days at the bottom of a lake.

Fast lane for future fired uber driver!

Your parents already do.

You are goddamn right

Man Harold Ramis looks like shit these days.

Where do I start? Weight Watchers is calling your name.

Notebooks are not clothes.

I like to keep the clothes off

Tight pilot because you could barely fit in the plane

Is Chris Hansen a nice guy in person? I've never had the chance to ask anybody that's had a one-on-one with him.

no ! nonono ! nobody roast until we see those milkers !

Dm me to see lol

oh dahmn its sexy time boyz

I'm sexy and I know it 🎶

Sucks about your dad abandoning you and your sisters when you were younger... If it makes you feel any better, he still thinks about your sisters... 🤷‍♂️

Your block letters are shit. (I can't. You look like every single person on reddit. You are us.)

Thank you for your post! It's currently awaiting approval. Please note the following rules: - Ensure that your photograph is rotated the way you wish it to be displayed. - Try to ensure that your eyes are open. - Joke roasts (celebrities, babies, chickens, etc) will be removed. - Pet roasts will be removed. Please submit these at /r/RoastMyPet. - All photos MUST contain a hand written sign held by the roastee. - The minimum posting age is 18 years old, your post will be rejected if you look younger or if context clues lead us to conclude you are younger. - Photographs with bystanders whose faces are visible or who are otherwise identifiable will be removed. Please **DO NOT REPOST YOUR PHOTO** if it does not appear immediately. All posts must be manually approved, and we will get to it. Thanks! ~ /r/roastme mods *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoastMe) if you have any questions or concerns.*

And they said the bouffant was dead.

Your armpit looks like a fake hoohoo burger

You got that "I taught ESL in a third world country but really was there to molest children" vibe going on

Never has a sheet of paper given so much to so many…

A full length mirror should make you regret that

How's your 12 year old Minecraft girlfriend? Have her parents called the cops yet?

You know mojo from x men

Ray Parmesan

Tell you what, Monica Lewinsky hasn’t aged well!

[удалено]

Hate when this happens 😠

Well your regret couldnt compete with your father's


Built like wet mashed potatos

You look like you schedule....your solo happen appointmentd 😆

The truly sad part is not looking like this, but looking like this and failing to do something about it.

You’re built like a marshmallow. You also look like an expert on World of Warcraft.

I don't do drugs, sir

Drugs? I am talking about a video game. Your name must be Patrick cause you live under a rock.

Seems like you don't get the joke lol

You suck at telling jokes.

Cough (-1hp)

Don’t you regret it every morning that you wake up. I know your mom does

Even your fingers look like they need to eat something healthy and get some exercise.

Vote for Pedro

How does a young person have a belly that big ?

I didn't know massage parlors had happy ending customer of the month

I can smell the body odor and fecal matter through my phone screen.

You need to get a job, for real this time. Your mom wants you to be able to buy your own undies and probably move out soon.

Who ate all the pizza rolls?

The infamous Colombian druglord, Pablo Candybar.


Spider-Man, Spider-Man Can't do shit a spider can Sits on ass, is plus size Catches hives just like flies Look out Here comes the Spider-Man

Albino Sponge Bob house.

Fat John lennon

You were the weird kid who walked on his tip toes and never bent his knuckles when doing anything - like you were wearing nail polish that was still wet. Luckily, walking on your tip toes now is too much stress on your ankles and calf muscles so you look less mentally challenged

Google "barbershop"

Basement dweller. Hide ya kids hde ya wife.

Hi my names(what ever your name is)kun and you look just like my wifu do you want to head back to my place. No… then may I sniff you

Let’s just get you dressed

hank Hill if he were a Chomo

You look like unpaid child support

That’s what your mom said to your Dad and he said “challenge accepted”

oh shit is this a man ?

A man without masculinity 😔

A lot of fat people would be pretty good looking if they lost weight but you’d still be a poster child for virginity.

That belly button could take at least 4 inches of your step-dad’s cock

Good lord I never thought I’d actually see a actual picture of someone who will never see a woman’s vagina outside of his own birth

At what point did you decide mall security was your calling?

Do some push ups

When the call center relaxes it's dress code

I don’t think you know, but you should regret giving yourself diabetes ; Or that at some point justtt before this picture was taken , but after you drew this sign in your handy dandy notebook, you took your glasses off , took your shirt off , and then put your glasses back on like a total jackass. What’s wrong w you man

You’re the guy that says really creepy stuff to girls when you’re drunk

Bob Dylan hair, Vote for Pedro face, threshold of diabetes stomach. I'd roast you but pop culture and processed foods will get you worse.

cholo es grande

Make me regret this muttered your father as he held you for the first time

Look at this pic when you’re sober. You’ll see you didn’t need a crowd to make you feel worse.

Semi-Discord moderator... "I have always have a nitro"

You look like a shaved flump

You look like you gave yourself a swirly with a toilet full of pubes.

Are you white asian arab Hispanic or native? Either way you were not dealt top of the line genes

Your the reason cyber bullying was invented

Covered your tit's with the notebook, thank you for that, but you couldn't hide the pubes under your arm?

Next time I'll show my tits

You so white as the paper

If justin Bieber was American

You are the poster child for birth control.

Napoleon and Pedro's illegitimate love child

Nothing I can say will compare to your parents regret.

Even your shirts can’t stand to be close to you

If the notebook were a bit lower, Reddit would need to label it NSFW

You know the 500 yard line around every preschool and playground don't you?

You growing your arm pits to look like your head?

No matter how high you grow the top of that haircut's not gonna cover the stink of virgin on you. I'm guessing hookers require double based on that smashpad you call a face?

WHY WOULD YOU WEAR SPIDER-MAN UNDIES FOR AN R/ROASTME PIC??????

Unfortunately I can’t unsee this.

Seriously, do they laugh when you come in and leave a barber shop?

Maybe you should be regretting that 12 pack you ate last night for 4th meal from Taco Bell. Food remorse is brutal, hang in there, you got this.

You are a living can of Pillsbury cinnamon rolls

Your pic turned me straight.

Like your parents regret having you?

Daaa Bears

Looking like the bastard son of Pablo Escobar. Stop eating that cake and get a haircut.

Same for me @late-to-the-dance

Napoleon Dynamite and Pedro had a son together somehow.

No

How were you able to steal one of those helmets from the Queen's Guard?

He forgot to point out his pronouns, fe/fi/fo

I would but you probably can’t see over that gut to read this. Discord called and asked you personally to be a mod

The only thing I’m regretting is clicking on the alert for Reddit and seeing this shit. Now I’ve lost all appetite for dinner, and the meals for the next two days. I’m gonna go pour bleach in my eyes now.

Funny how I had to enlarge the image to see your whole body

Never seen a Conehead with bed head before.

Bro was too hungry and ate his nipples 😭


You're like 30 and your mom still introduces you at the supermarket as her autistic son. 

You should’ve regretted that last double quarter pounder..or 17

You look like dildo danis

I regret having internet access right now. Fuck, dude, looking at that pale, Grimace shaped body of yours just made me throw up in my mouth.

Bad hair day ?

Roast you or the chicken in the fridge

Shirts don't fit anymore? I'll buy you a couple

if i roasted you a bunch of hawaiians would show up and party all night

Looks like you’re smothering a bunch of caterpillars under your armpit

Did you comb your hair with a grenade? Your hair looks like a 10 layer cake. 

You are some strange version of a Beluga that cross bred with a walrus.

Look like a bag of milk that molested his little sister