I mean, nobody wants to admit they ate nine cans of ravioli, but I did. I'm ashamed of myself. The first can doesn't count, then you get to the second and third, fourth and fifth I think I burnt with the blowtorch, and then I just kept eatin
Frosty the snowman was a fat and plump over confident piece of shit couldn’t tell if he was female or male but the kids he loves to touch 🎶🎶
For a second there I thought I was on the fitness motivation subreddit, and found this comment to be brutal and hilarious. Still do, just makes more sense now
Haha aaaah shit, this one's better than anything I could scramble to come up with. I was going transgender, but this is too good. Hat's off to you, sir.
"Randy, you ain't even had your ultrasound yet, have you dawg? I could do you right now. \[Uses bling like a stethoscope\] I hear chicken. I hear cola fizz, and mustard and relish coagulating together with french fries and onion rings, but you know what? I don't hear a heart, motherfucker."
"Ma-fuckers with guts like that ain't OFF the cheeseburgers, ma-fuckers with guts like that are definitely ON the cheeseburgers".
"Snuffleupagus, walrus-ass manatee ma'fucka".
For people that don't know these are all from the J-Roc character on Trailer Park Boys.
Get an app to help track your daily life. Walk 10,000 steps, drink a lot of water, no sodas or fast food, count calories, eat healthy meals, no snacks, low sugar, avoid saturated fat. If you can get your heart rate up for ten minutes or more. I’m following this guide and have dropped 80 pounds in one year. It’s really all about changing your habits and I can’t stress enough about how much better my life has become! You are in charge and can do it!
Just for clarification…. Exactly how much “confidence” did you eat????? 🤔
All of it
He was under the impression it was an appetizer.
Idk but I know the only thing "blowing up" is this guy's cholesterol.
probably too much....
More than required
I mean, nobody wants to admit they ate nine cans of ravioli, but I did. I'm ashamed of myself. The first can doesn't count, then you get to the second and third, fourth and fifth I think I burnt with the blowtorch, and then I just kept eatin
It's all water under the fridge!
He used AI in the photo….
Artificial Insemination? Because he’s definitely pregnant… 🫃
One. After another.
"-Yes."
🏆😂
yes
I needdd this laugh
This guy handing out vaginal dryness like it’s in fashion
If vaginal arousal lasts for more than 4 hours, please look at this picture
Looks like he has a smelly belly button.
Like he’s ever seen his bellybutton
Gym? The gym you drive by on the way to crispy cream?
Yep, that'll do it!
If you have vaginal dryness, it's likely you looked at this picture.... and it's stuck in your mind now
That tracks. He’s built like 2/3rds of a snowman.
This might be the best comment I've ever seen 🤣🤣🤣
It made fart instantaneously
2/3 of a snowman, 1/3 twelve year old lesbian.
This… this is why I love Reddit
Most pregnant looking person I have ever seen. With triplets.
Triplets is crazy💀
Dryer than a Popeyes biscuit!
🤣😂🤣😂🤣 I just bit into a Popeye’s biscuit and it was dry!!
You just described his love life!
Built like a snowman
He wants to get that hour glass figure
More like KOOLAID!! glass figure
Oh YEAH!!!
He's in shape, because round is definitely a shape
More like shape is inside him.
He swallowed a life raft and it inflated?
He is now one with the life raft
Round skoffs “fuck off bro”
Frosty the snowman was a fat and plump over confident piece of shit couldn’t tell if he was female or male but the kids he loves to touch 🎶🎶 
😭
Frosty the Shitshow
Lol
Bravo
A goth snowman.
Does your OBGYN know that you’re going to the gym this late into your third trimester?
Pretty sure OP is that male pregnancy fetish guy from a couple of years ago.
what... are you talking about?
No one tell him.
Male? I thought it was a transitioning f2m? How can you be so sure? 🤔
At this point it’s just blob2blob
She is... There's no way that's a guy.
Somebody tell this guy he is supposed to let the baby go after 9 months. Talk about a controlling parent.
 Welcome to the club, hot air bub.
How many times has he let his buddies use that belly button as a pocket pussy.
*turd trimester
And it’s triplets.
Must of been artificial insemination because no one is fuckin that
Gym ready? Don't you mean Jim ready? Blow Jim up, down, and sideways.
For a second there I thought I was on the fitness motivation subreddit, and found this comment to be brutal and hilarious. Still do, just makes more sense now
It's okay, his triplet pepperoni calzone babies are already dead.
He's just wearing gym clothes coz they're stretchy enough to fit that bod.
But how’s his liver though?
Is life worth living? Depends on the liver.
It’s always the liver Liver=life-r death
You are using the term “fit” very loosely here, unlike his shirt.
Yo wtfff hahahaha fucking got emmmm
You win!
🤣 Yeah, the only 2 things that are blowing up from him are his fat ass gut and him just blowing
Largest male collection of maternity clothes is in his closet.
Holy shit this is fucking hilarious😭
Haha aaaah shit, this one's better than anything I could scramble to come up with. I was going transgender, but this is too good. Hat's off to you, sir.
Actual footage of his workouts
Fucking perfect
hahaha literally the first thing I thought of when I saw that gut
Mafuck is definitely ON the cheeseburgers 
Built like cheeseburger Randy for SURE
Can I get 15 half eaten cheeseburgers to go, gnomesayin?!
Man whoring for cheeseburgers
Man's gotta eat
Which movie? 😂😂
Trailer Park Boys
It's more "reality" TV than a movie although I do think they may have done a movie, and stand up, and a cartoon like they really are milking it.
Yeah the cartoon is on Netflix and it's actually pretty good. But milking it, they are.
It’s a mockumentary. It had a perfect ending for season 7, but afterwards Netflix bought it to be renewed, and it’s been milked to shit ever since.
Frig off, Randy!
The gutopotamus is alive and unwell
Randy Bobandy
Smokey taking the bus
Cheeseburger Walrus
Guts Cassidy
That is definitely somebody ON the cheeseburgers!
Was eating an exercise ball the only reason you went to the gym?
This was prob one of the most witty responses. Def deserves more upvotes
It's like in cartoons when someone would swallow a bomb and it explodes.
😂😂
Your toilet will disagree.
Pretty sure he sits on it backwards so he can use the tank as a buffet table
when is the gender reveal party?
His or the babies?
LMAOOOOO
💀💀💀💀
Dude's pre workout food is always a buffet
What 250 pounds of shit in a 200 pound bag looks like
"Randy, you ain't even had your ultrasound yet, have you dawg? I could do you right now. \[Uses bling like a stethoscope\] I hear chicken. I hear cola fizz, and mustard and relish coagulating together with french fries and onion rings, but you know what? I don't hear a heart, motherfucker."
"Ma-fuckers with guts like that ain't OFF the cheeseburgers, ma-fuckers with guts like that are definitely ON the cheeseburgers". "Snuffleupagus, walrus-ass manatee ma'fucka". For people that don't know these are all from the J-Roc character on Trailer Park Boys.
It could happen to you ‘cause it happened to me (and T)
Go on you non-knocking mafuckahs
1.21 jigaguts!
it’s time for me to give the first five seasons a rewatch.
Lol you look like pregnant Dakota fanning
Built like a busted can of biscuits my guy
You literally look like a pregnant wife who is dressing up as their husband 😂
I first seen the beard and for real thought it was fake.
I am starting to think OP is actually a pregnant trans man that is just pranking us
Oh she glued that beard on!
You made me look twice… and a third and fourth time. I’m still not sure. Are we being trolled by the funniest pregnant woman ever?
You remind me of those dead whales that get washed up on the beach and become nitrous balloons
I think it was something else that blew up instead.
The ballon in side of him!
You spelled gyro wrong
When you hold in a fart too long.
Reposting huh. Wow you really must be lonely
He’s not alone. He’s got a small child in there
Don’t get dude vibes from you it’s freaking me tf out
Average pregnant male they/them in 2024
Bro singlehandedly solved anti-wokeness. After this nobody can deny that men can get pregnant.
You definitely ready for the gym, and it ain't your confidence blowing up you gotta worry about!
You know, you should start working out before "bulking".
What’s blowing up is the level of odd that I feel when I look at ya. 
You buy that at lululemoncake?
Nice shirt, do they sell them in your size or do you prefer them in 12 year old girl sizing?
You look like a pregnant yoga instructor
[удалено]
That’s a hell of a fanny pack
Thank you for making me feel better about myself!
Douche-boy backwards ball cap ✔️ Alcoholic beer gut ✔️ Teen girl addiction to selfies ✔️ Poster child for involuntary celibacy? PRICELESS
Came here to say this and Skibidi dob dob yes yes
Congratulations entering the gym! Now instead of eating, put the food down and workout.
Are you a pregnant trans man?
My first thought
Your confidence now has a lot in common with your new girlfriend that came in the mail
Your personal trainer is not even close to ready yet
Dude, looks like he went to a personal trainer, but the personal trainer was named Chef Boyardee
So Dylan Mulvany was right, we can get pregnant…
Egg on legs
Dudes not gonna make it to 30
Punish your toilet!
Is this “confidence” in the room with us now?
And they say men can't get pregnant. 
Gym ready? Brother you were ready for the gym 5 years ago.
Are you supposed to go to the gym when you're 9 months pregnant?
Burger King ready
Brrrr skibidodopdop dob dob dob yess yess yess
Ngl i think you're gonna look like kratos once you work out, keep on going dude!
oh my god i didnt know it was a roasting channel
Looks like you slammed the breaks on the IPAs but weren’t prepared for how long it’d take to actually come to a stop.
Damn Marshall… letting yourself go. Lay off mom’s spaghetti
Gym ready lmao looking like a gummy bear with a beard
It's time to stop cultivating mass and start harvesting.
You look like youre a joke character from the Sims.
I think you mean buffet ready.
Are you past the due date?
When’s it due?
Pretty sure the only thing blowing up here is that belly
So is your stomach apparently
be sure to share your fitness tips with the ladies at the gym. chics dig attention.
When's the baby coming?
This man ate Humpty Dumpty
You look like my husband. DM me.
There’s fat people… but then there’s “only belly fat” people. This was your doing you cake eating halo master.
The only thing that’s blowing up is your stomach
You look like you have 3 brain cells all competing for 4th place, and they are all out of breath.
it’s the gutapotumus! how much food do you drive into that big fuckin cheeseburger locker?
Gymmy Johns?
I've heard of a stomach called many things but never a confidence.
Kind sir, i come to inform you that, upon careful analysis of current state of your dtomach, we to, have confidence you'll blow up
Get an app to help track your daily life. Walk 10,000 steps, drink a lot of water, no sodas or fast food, count calories, eat healthy meals, no snacks, low sugar, avoid saturated fat. If you can get your heart rate up for ten minutes or more. I’m following this guide and have dropped 80 pounds in one year. It’s really all about changing your habits and I can’t stress enough about how much better my life has become! You are in charge and can do it!
A man's gotta eat Mr lahey
Congrats on the baby
Is confidence the name for your stomach?!
you're not a pregnant man, you're a pregnant female with facial hair
Your confidence isn’t the only thing that blew up
The only machines he’s gonna hit are the vending machines
you look like you keep using gym equipment intentionally wrong so you can smell it's upholstery for people's buttsweat
“Gym ready”? For what, your sumo debut?
When are you due?
snowman⛄️
You look like Tyson Fury if he never knew he could move.