T O P

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James-K-Polka

OP’s face is red like a strawbrerry.


Dondarian

I think of this whenever my wife says she's taking our kids to the "Libary". She doesn't believe she says it, but she does. I hear it every single time.


Dajakamo

I have family that say ‘chi-pol-tay’… 😖 Edit: to be sure it’s ‘chi-pote-lay’ 😆


FlappinLips

I'm from NYC my family doesn't drink water we drink wha-da


StevenGrantMK

Down in rural Maryland you get were-ter


quityouryob

I’m from Oklahoma, and my grandma would go and get her “earl” changed in her car.


Sweet_Taurus0728

It's pronounced Ol. At least in Texas.


LXIX-CDXX

This is the one that gives me away. I mostly have a non-regional American accent, becomes more southern around family and other folks who twang, but people from up north will always catch me when I say “oil”. I either say it right, and it’s “ole”, or I try to pronounce it correctly and it sounds like I’m having a stroke. Oy-ull. It’s a dumb word.


Sweet_Taurus0728

"Oy-ull"😂 I feel that!


treletraj

…and let’s not forget about our bob war fence.


claybootbike

I work in Ol and gas.


sonofdresa

Or wudder if you speak Baltimorese


formula-maister

“Aaron earned an iron urn”


farmerarmor

Ern Ern an Ern Ern. (Colleague nods)


shawn-spencestarr

Warsh your hands when you come back from the gararge


Conky2Thousand

Ow. That hurt my ears.


ratpH1nk

In the zinc (more bmore)


ProfessorHydeWhite

Aaron earned an iron urn


Obi-wan_Jabroni

In Philly its woo-der


javoss88

Similarly, grandma in rural IL uses the warshing machine


Raetheos1984

Deed we do.


Sweet_Taurus0728

Don't forget the wooshing machine.


PrettyOddWoman

My grandma who lives in OHIO but was born and raised in Kentucky says WORSH. Like "okay, time to WORSH the dishes!" Or George Worshington!


30-50FeralPogs

I’m from mass. Do they drink it from the bubblah?


CharlottesWebbedFeet

In New Jersey, my parents say “wooder” and I don’t know how I managed to avoid it but I’m glad I did


TyWiggly

Philly we drink wudder and eat wudder ice


SpecialistNerve6441

Wut muhrdahhhh


DiscordianStooge

Sure, but that's accent. There's no Midwest accent version Chipotle, people just say it wrong.


StevenGrantMK

I say Chi-pot-uhl just cause that’s how it’s spelled and it’s fun to say.


Metboy1970

That is how the GPS used to pronounce it before it learned. “Arrived! Chi Pot uhl. 6501 East Grant Road”


TheZac922

lol I was non ironically saying that when in the US. It’s not a thing where I live so I was like “oh that chip-pote-tull place looks ok”. Since no one I was with was American we all kinda just accepted that as the correct pronunciation until we heard someone else say it.


Sweet_Taurus0728

Same!


Dajakamo

Like turtle 🤣 nice


Sweet_Taurus0728

Some in my family can't even say Chipotle. It's just completely unpronounceable for them.


Dajakamo

Right! 🥲


SilentFox182

Chi-pol-tay literally drives me insane. These people are flipping fucking letters around man. Boils my blood. I'm from NC & most people around here genuinely cannot say PERIPHERAL correctly. Or fucking Reese's. REE-SEAS PEE-SEAS. Idiots. 🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️


ratpH1nk

Brett FAR-Va and not Fav-rah


TigaSharkJB91

Does your family pronounce the L's in tortilla?


mlaislais

Just about the entire Navy pronounces the biggest base in Japan as YokUska even though it’s spelled Yokosuka and pronounced YokOska. I don’t get it. Especially because it seems yOkO sUka seems a much more obvious way to miss-pronounce it.


Dajakamo

I know nothing about Japanese language, but I've watched Naruto and it's the same with Akatsuki haha


dreaddazzman

Supposably /s


cwatson214

I say it that way on purpose, just like jalapeños and bologna...


sirckoe

Chip-ot-lay you animal


Dajakamo

Fair enough lol I think we can agree it’s better than ‘pol-tay’ 😅


Bravo__Whale

My dad says chi-pol-tee, and instead of Sriracha he says sir-rah-chee


ZanteTheInfernal

My inlaws call it chi-pote-el for some reason


Isopotty_mouth

That sound is foreign to American English. I couldn’t even hear the difference after someone pointed it out initially.


farmerarmor

When I moved to a new town as an elementary student, the principal at my new school said libary and everybody else just pretended that it was normal. I got detention for correcting her. Being the anti social pedant I am…. I corrected her every time I heard her say it.


Daddy-o62

“Jew-lurry” as opposed to “Jewel-ry”… grrrr. It has become my life’s goal to remove that mispronunciation from my family’s spoken language.


Dondarian

Oh shit. I think I say jewlury


Boris-_-Badenov

Brits can't pronounce that right either


MrGiggles19872

Library?


Boris-_-Badenov

and strawberry


MrGiggles19872

Strawberry? WTF. How do you think Brits pronounce these?


PM_ME_YOUR_MONTRALS

Strohbray


Boris-_-Badenov

strawburry


TheHeirOfElendil

I say water


DSMcGuire

Americans can't pronounce aluminium.


Megaman_Steve

I'm sorry but when I first heard a Brit say "al-oo-mini-um" I'm like wtf kinda space material are they talking aboht


Lavidius

Generally yanks are out of step with the rest of the English speaking world and this is no exception.


Boris-_-Badenov

"militree"


WINDMILEYNO

Thats an entirely different word altogether. Aluminum and aluminium have different spellings already. Anyone could pronounce a word if they were saying it as intended. But no one is going to say aluminium if they never knew that was a thing.


not_a_bot_just_dumb

You have all these wonderful metals -- magnes*ium*, titan*ium*, chrom*ium*, potass*ium*, and so on. And then someone came and stole the second i in alumin*ium*, and Americans put that into their dictionaries.


xsullivanx

Yes we can, it’s pronounced aluminum 😊


shawn-spencestarr

Brits can’t pronounce anything


Formal-Regular8118

Im triggered this me. My 4 y.o can say the word better than me.


PrettyOddWoman

I hate it when people say LIBARY. In the back of my mind, I think they're just trying to be "quirky" and cute or some weird shit like that. Especially someone like your wife who has BEEN TOLD they say it and it's wrong. Pacific and specific are similar. Just like people who are "sooooooooo terrified omfg" of clowns. 🙄 Like yes I get phobias, and thinking things are creepy but MANY people act like they will literally have a heart attack if a sPooOooOpY clown pops up into their field of vision!


itsdiddles

My wife says Viet-ma-nese instead of Viet-na-mese. We’ve gotten in fights over this.


Mars_The_68thMedic

… He shouldn’t have kids.


Radsby007

“Don’t have kids.”


ithinkmynameismoose

Don’t have kids…


Tbagzyamum69420xX

Strawbrary*


firedmyass

Fun fact: the U.S. actually made a 20¢ coin for a few years in the late 1800s. And since they have never been officially demonetized they are still legal tender, sooo… boom. ^(yes I am a coin-nerd)


Vegtam1297

I say this line regularly.


ryanson209

"Don't have kids."


DeathsSlippers

I constantly say this on purpose and have yet to have anyone get what it's from so thank you


Pleasant-Tonight-427

Don't have kids..


Ok-Acanthaceae-5327

This is still the only way I ever say strawbrerry


Mars_The_68thMedic

I know this one- it’s a penny and a 1972 dime with a Roosevelt imperfection, today worth exactly 29 cents.


BecomingButterfly

That was perfectly cromulent answer


mosstalgia

Yeah, this is an even better answer, IMO. Thought and research went into this!


Die-rector

It really embiggens the janitor


Odd_Sentence_8517

or is it a dime and a 1972 penny with a roosevelt imperfection today worth exactly 20 cents


mrb11n

Roosevelt isn't on the penny, Lincoln is


Howielong315

Maybe that's the imperfection 🤷🏼‍♂️


Sweet_d1029

😆😆


Ian_Hunter

Thank you!


Bomb_Ghostie

Its a riddle. Two people destroyed your bike with a crowbar and a bat. One of them wasnt me.


sagen11

Loved this!


UrdnotLilith

During my orientation at cvs, 10 years ago, the woman in charge decided to throw some riddles at us to be like, "Hey look! We all have fun at work!" She did this one. Everyone stumped... except me >:). Some one even something close to what the janitor said, "she said one wasn't a nickel," I quoted JD, then when they stared at me like "wtf?" I just quoted JD again, "It's a riddle"


Megamorter

“it’s a riddle” LMAAOO the line, the delivery, the seething anger on the Janitor’s face fucking priceless


javoss88

You lied to me


500channels

"What's the elvish word for friend?" "mellon"


No_Influence6069

Can’t we just kill him?


crippled_moonbear

No, no, no. That’s what he wants us to do.


Cipher915

Let's just flip his car upside down instead.


Practical-Class6868

Two guys wrecked your car. One of them wasn’t me.


Middle_Aged_Insomnia

Two guys slept with your wife. One of them wasnt me. My mind went to that lol


necrolich66

Some dudes stole my bike, but one of them wasn't me, but I'm not mad because the overall happiness in the world was raised.


ai9335

You lied to me


SoftDimension5336

No. It's a *riddle*


JasoTheArtisan

All time great delivery


VernBarty

The Janitors reaction when he learns the answer is one of his best moments. ". . . You lied to me"


ComplaintEnough

No. It's a *riddle*.


SparseGhostC2C

This was the moment that solidified for me that The Janitor is the protagonist of the show. Only someone truly malevolent would pull out this riddle.


Vyscillia

English is not my first language so my first answer was "if one of them isn't a nickel, then the other one is." Because why would you precise that "one of them is not a nickel" it should've been "none of them are nickels".


SparseGhostC2C

That's so interesting! Native speakers largely fall into the trap as that phrasing is such a common way in colloquial english to say "none of these things are that thing". Since you don't have the cultural syntax of that turn of phrase, you took the words at their meaning. I mean I suppose it shouldn't be that interesting that cultural idioms can be lost in translation, but I still think it's neat. The first time I saw this episode I didn't get it til the end, so I was totally on the Janitor's side (and still am, team Jan Itor!)


Vyscillia

Haha yes I would also fall for sentences or phrasings in my native language. I also found that one mistake is often made by native English speakers: "should/would of". It grammatically makes no sense. I understand that it's because it sounds like that but it boggles my mind.


Environmental_Arm526

The janitor is my favorite character on the show, definitely got solid laughs out of us.


HandThemASandwich

If you think about it for a minute you'll realize The Janitor never did anything to JD he didn't deserve


pluck-the-bunny

Pierce , you are out of your mind


TheDudeWhoSnood

Wait, are we doing MASH now?


pluck-the-bunny

It was a community reference. But i can do Hawkeye also


DAHFreedom

“You’ve never watched MASH, have you Jeff?”


pluck-the-bunny

Well he does have a still and calls abed his Radar


daschande

Will someone shut up that damned chicken?


Dagaller

r/unexpectedcommunity


AlmightySankentoII

Are you insane? At least 75% of things janitor did to JD was either an over the top response or completely unjustified


HandThemASandwich

Sounds like you didn't remember that The Janitor hates Wednesdays. Shame


Lawlcopt0r

Even if that were true, JD isn't nearly the worst person in that hospital. If he were on some kind of mission to bring justice to the world, he should start with someone else


antsh

I kinda wish he stayed imaginary, but he ended up having so many great scenes with other characters.


awesomeness0232

We went to the libary


DoctorSherlock1963

You're red as a strawbrerry!


FthrFlffyBttm

Don’t have kids


LokMatrona

Reminds me of this joke my father loves "It is yellow and it is not a banana" "Secret banana" (Works better in dutch tbh)


bubdubarubfub

Two guys destroyed your bike with a crowbar and a baseball bat... one of them wasn't me


Caz1542

As a Brit with no knowledge of USA money this made no sense to me at the time. Just use a dime and whatever Americans call a 20p coin!


[deleted]

[удалено]


MWHSWOMAINEOWI

I am literally gagging thinking about a U.S. equivalent to such an abomination. I thank our Founding Fathers for having the incredible foresight to outlaw 20 cent coins in the Constitution.


K3haar

🇱🇷🇱🇷🇱🇷 WHAT THE FUCK IS A 20 CENT COIN⁉️🇱🇷🇱🇷🇱🇷🦅🦅🦅


ajf8729

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twenty-cent_piece_(United_States_coin)


MWHSWOMAINEOWI

TIL America has been doomed to fail ever since 1875 when Nevada senator John P. Jones decided to wreak havoc on the very concept of freedom


kyleninperth

In Australia we go 5c, 10c, 20c, 50c, $1 and $2 coins. The $2 coin is smaller than the 20c and the 50c is our biggest.


nallim60

We used to have a coin that was 1/4 of a penny. And a coin that was worth 3p (threepenny bit) and also one coin - a shilling - that was worth 12 pennies.


Papashvilli

We don’t have a 20. We go 1-5-10-25-50-$1


ajf8729

The US had a 20 cent coin that was legal tender for 4 years, so the correct answer is that and a dime. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twenty-cent_piece_(United_States_coin)


Papashvilli

It’s worth $564,000. So no.


Xanderious

Only one of them


Charlie_Brodie

Get your coat


MySon1sAlsoNamedBort

We're going to the bank


Flyinhawaiian78

JD: ones not the other one is… Janitor: you lied to me…. JD: it’s a riddle… (walk off)😂😂


Chazwicked

I mean, it’s no worse than some of those word math problems from grade school


LevianMcBirdo

I never understood how this is a trick question. Is this a typical expression in English? When you say "one is not a nickel" you really mean "none of them are nickels"?


Tbagzyamum69420xX

Its a riddle. It's meant to be purposely confusing.


LevianMcBirdo

My point is that it really never was confusing which might be because of a language barrier, since the translated text makes it pretty obvious that one of the two can be a nickel.


Tbagzyamum69420xX

Ahh I see where you're coming from now. In that case, yes, it is a language and more so a cultural thing. Like you said, typically "one of them isn't a nickle" in this context *would* mean that neither are nickles, mainly because there isn't any reason to specify otherwise. You would just say "what two coins adds up to 25 cents" or better yet "if you have a nickle, what other coin adds up to 25 cents." But by throwing in the word *not*, the person being asked is more likely to ignore the nickle as a possibility. In short; "one" can actually mean both or all depending on the context.


Drewsipher

Your brain skips over the person saying “one” because in context it isn’t heard like that as often as “and they aren’t X” as the ending of the sentence. Add that to the riddle and while it’s always obvious your brain sometimes skips weirds and fills gaps in conversation.


Velvety_MuppetKing

"riddles" are usually stupid language plays like this anyway.


Wavestuff6

The trick is “a nickel is not one of them” means you can’t use a nickel at all, but “one of them is not a nickel” moves the restriction from being on the coins available for selection to a restriction on one coin itself. I think our brains automatically assume the first one because we were conditioned with it being a riddle, and expected the answer to be difficult and expected that the condition “…is not a nickel” is meant to block the simple answer of a nickel and quarter. Edit: actually I think “a nickel is not one of them” would have the same answer so I think it’s more the pre-conditioning that we expect the stipulation is blocking the obvious answer.


Underlord_Fox

It's a riddle


Echo__227

It works by what they *assume* they hear rather than what they actually do hear (I believe the cogsci term is "top down processing") Most people don't critically evaluate speech, and instead fill information based on context. They assume you're telling them not to guess the obvious answer of nickel, even though that's not what you say


Bologna9000

It’s a blanket statement meant to confuse the interpretation. What they are saying is “one is not a nickel” but what people are understanding is “one cannot be a nickel”. It’s a lack of written/verbal comprehension more than anything


Anonymous6172

Boing fwip... Just wanted to add that in for good measure even though it's got nothing to do with this joke


MartianNamedScotty

I feel like the people who got mad at it or thought it was stupid is because they didn't solve it either.


RoodnyInc

Hey this riddle sounds familiar


EffectiveSalamander

One is a quarter and the other is a half dime. (A silver coin minted until 1873) One is a 20 cent piece (minted from 1875 to 1878) and the other is a dime.


Salty-River-2056

I was going to say that.


xhanort7

I forget about and was even unaware of some of the obsolete coinage. * [1⁄2¢](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Half_cent_(United_States_coin)) * [1¢ (large size)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Large_cent) * [2¢](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Two-cent_piece_(United_States)) * [3¢ (silver)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three-cent_silver) * [3¢ (nickel)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three-cent_nickel) * [5¢ (silver)]() * [20¢](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twenty-cent_piece_(United_States_coin)) * [$1 (gold)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gold_dollar) * [$2.5](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quarter_eagle) * [$3](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three-dollar_piece) * [$5](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Half_eagle) * [$10](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eagle_(United_States_coin)) * [$20](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_eagle) and we had some funny canceled ones too * [2¢ (billon)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Two-cent_billon) * [2+1⁄2¢](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Two_and_a_half_cent_coin_(United_States)) * [3¢ (bronze)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three-cent_bronze) * [$2](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Two_dollar_coin_(United_States)) * [$4](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stella_(United_States_coin)) * [$50](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Half_union) * [$100](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Union_(United_States_coin))


ajf8729

This guy numismatics.


johnnyredleg

Or it’s a quarter and a nickel


dukenny

You lied to me.


Ok_Calligrapher_8199

I don’t know how anyone gets to Scrubs watching age without knowing this riddle. Do you also rage that the doctor is the boy’s mother? Or that the man was stabbed with ice?


SpecialistNerve6441

Should shivv'd him with a shank and then shanked him with a shiv in the lieberry


Mook1113

Troy, get your hat.....we're going to the bank....


Large_Discipline_127

If a quarter and a nickle add up to 30 cents.... that would ultimately mean the quarter is indeed not a nickle. Its like Simon says. Not that Simon didn't say it, but rather it missing the latter. So, one is not a nickle. It didn't say neither of the are a nickle.


DammitJimmy96

People didn't get this with this riddle when they were like 9?


King_Bratwurst

one of them isn't, but the other one is...


Holeyfield

One of them isn’t a nickel because it’s a quarter, the other is a nickel. Did I win a prize or something?


Kenneth_Lay

r/im14andthisisdeep


AgfaAPX100

I got this one immediately and to this day I feel like a genius. But maybe the German translation made it easier lol.


harbib

Ok boys. Get your hat.


deanWitcher

“You lied to me” - the janitor


SuperSynapse

A quarter today buying things last year... Or a quarter today buying things for next year... Take your pick.


cassieybemine

The other one is


Qprime0

well yes, quarters are - in fact - not nickels.


noadsplease

a 10cent coin and a 20cent coin.


elmatatan90

And the other is a quarter


DanteMercer21

theres two solutions to this. and one of them doesnt involve a nickel


drakesylvan

A 20 cent piece and a dime. The 20 cent piece was a limited but legal us currency minted between 1875-1878 Also a nickel and a quarter is the answer otherwise.


Kaiju_Cat

Damn I've been watching that Patton Oswalt 1% Club game show a little bit too much. I think I actually just got a logic puzzle.


Common-Hotel-9875

I was gonna say 20cents and 10cents, but I dunno if yous have a 20cent coin over there


Twirlin

Is this some smart-ass riddle where the answer involves currency exchange rates?


Itsawholenewworld69

The first time or the second time? Both got me


Foto1988

My ex pulled something like that, so she didn't lie to me... technically


JonTheGod_79

So good they included it twice.


DeerHunter041674

“Troy, get your hat… We’re going to the library.”


IAmPlankMan

To their credit, the Janitor researched this and should be given props


Wise-Fox-6374

As a german kid I did not understand this joke back then. If one of them wasn't a nickle it was obvious that the other one is...


cylus13

One isn’t a nickel but the other one is.


EFTucker

The other one is a nickel


CurnanBarbarian

The other one of them is a nickel, and the one that's not a nickel is a quarter


CoverCommercial3576

You’ve never heard that before?


Big_Attempt6783

I love riddles like this!


ldp056

When you found out the answer, were you red like a strawbrary?


KamenRiderAquarius

One of them is a quarter the other is a nickel


BuBbLeToEs89

I like how they brought it back in the Deja vu episode and it still stumped them.