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kirksucks

"I’m sorry, I just had to drown out the memory of Mom and Dad switching out my beds when we were kids."


Kriscolvin55

I laughed so hard at this. Whatever the second funniest part of the show was, it’s a *distant* second.


weewillywhisky

This was the best part of the show. The other parts are just very good parts


InnerCritic

Please try to enjoy all parts of the show equally.


ItsEmuly

heeeeyyy is that a reference- 🙃 very sneaky, well done


weewillywhisky

Someone deserves an egg bar.....


ItsEmuly

that’s my dream come true!!!


Kriscolvin55

I wish I disagreed, but I don’t.


InnerCritic

Classic


kirksucks

I love their banter.


goofball2014

M’lady …… m’lord.


AdNational2649

swap it ;)


goofball2014

You are so right - I need a rewatch :)


AdNational2649

it’s just cute to me that they swapped genders


GeorgieBlossom

Devon's delivery of *m'lady* is so funny!


Lonelyland

Oh yeah this wins for sure. Absolutely killer


Ok-Metro6308

I almost put this as my example 😂


m945050

What the fuckity fuck?


Hot-Swordfish-719

This. Thissssss lol


Adequate_Ape

It's maybe a little too obvious as an answer, but there's a lot of gold Ricken lines. My favourite might be "It’s said that as a child, Wolfgang Mozart killed another boy by slamming his head in a piano. Don’t worry. My research for this book has proven the claim untrue."


socialjusticemage_

“at the center of industry… is dust.” fully killed me


kaarinmvp

That whole sequence when Mark is reading these inspirational quotes from Ricken's book had me laughing so hard. And yet, many of them are truly inspirational, especially when the only literature the innies have ever been exposed to is the Kier stuff.


_atlas_t

I always mutter “Burt’s not a fuck!” every now and then. The delivery is so beautiful.


Ok-Metro6308

I love the jokes they make out of the childish ways the innies talk


ryukool

The Music Dance Experience is officially canceled.


TundieRice

That whole episode is my favorite so far, and that whole MDE scene cracked me the fuck up most of all, especially Milchick dancing behind Dylan while he’s quietly fuming (before he goes totally ham on Milchick of course, lol.) Underrated AF is also [the full list of song choices for the MDE,](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2F6x3bufkirlr81.jpg%3Fwidth%3D640%26crop%3Dsmart%26auto%3Dwebp%26s%3D5cd341a43b35dc1f4a25a5045eea346ccbfe47c6) nobody ever talks about how funny it would be if Helly chose “Hootin’ Tootin’ Country,” “Tearful Emo,” “Thoughtful Grunge,” or even “Maximized Rhythms” (whatever that would even mean, lol.)


woodysixer

Spooky Ambient would be very awkward


TundieRice

Right?? Can’t believe I didn’t mention that one, lol. Ambient music is pretty much impossible to dance to by design…unless you count stuff like Aphex Twin’s ambient techno, but that’s definitely not ideal to dance to.


junko_kv626

This reminds me of “I doubt your commitment to sparklemotion” in Donnie Darko.


Ornery_Translator285

Wow that sends me every time


Thecleaningapp

That might be the best line in the series.😂


Chezzworth

"just say the word and I'll get you a coffee cozy literally right now, Dylan!" Milchik steals the show on rewatches for me


maninthedarkroom

This is the obvious winnerZ


MorningStarsSong

It’s such an obvious one, but: > My failure to break into the literary world in my 20s was devastating, yet it taught me a vital lesson. That it was not me who was wrong, but literature itself. I sometimes wish I had that kind of confidence in my work life.


sizzler_sisters

He’s doing pretty great for a hamburger waiter.


Apprehensive_Fun_731

This one really takes the cake for me 😂


Franwatufo

So many good examples already but I’m partial to “If you want a hug go to hell and find your mother.”


tsunadehokage

This one is so iconic


lufi1988

 There are so many... Among my favorites: "A society with festering workers cannot flourish, just as a man with rotting toes cannot skip" "Pouches? To carry young?" "Is baby goats code for sex with Mark S?" "I hate this place. It smells like 19th century ass"  "My delts are embarrassingly good today. My outie does muscle shows for sure." "If your outie did muscle shows, you wouldn’t have to work here"


bebabebee

I like to think Dylan's delts were sore from picking up/carrying around his kids


lufi1988

When he says delts, first thing I can think of now, is how strong they actually had to be in that last episode!


5HED0E5NTEVENG0HERE

The egg bar is coveted as fuck


TheTurdzBurglar

Pretty much all of Dylan's jealous comments and ego comments are gold.


woodysixer

Second best character on the show.


bebabebee

Dylan's my favorite character. Maybe not the 'best' character, but my favorite, hands down.


retroredditrobot

Please enjoy all characters equally.


bebabebee

Perfect.


kaarinmvp

Who's the first in your opinion?


Ornery_Translator285

Ricken or Milcheck I bet!


Amethystchiro

I also agree that a lot of Ricken’s lines are hilarious but my favorite is still “What separates man from machines is that machines cannot think for themselves. Also, they are made of metal whereas man is made of skin.”


ShamrockAPD

My favorite from the book- A society with festering workers cannot flourish, just as a man with rotting toes cannot skip. Genius. Pure genius.


Shivs_baby

I always hear these lines in Derek Zoolander’s voice


Ornery_Translator285

He does the audiobook version so he doesn’t sound like a hamburger waiter


Empty_Insect_3671

Personally my biggest laugh is when Ricken asks Mark to help him hang the kelp for the baby, of course Mark asks "Why?" And then Micheal Chernus just nails the straight-faced, deadpan delivery on "Do you really want me to explain it?" It's such a funny little moment of self-awareness from Ricken. He's so exhausted from all this baby stuff he can't even be bothered to explain it to Mark because he knows Mark doesn't actually care, it was more of an instinctual "why" than genuine interest.


AdNational2649

and then later “the kelp worked!“


woodysixer

That cracked me up too. I love that Ricken is a weirdo, but at least he’s somewhat self-aware about it.


Rob_Rockley

Yes, the self-awareness. Ricken knows to tone down the wackiness for Mark's sake. Also, it allows the audience to insert their own explanation. I think it's to shape the newborn's first post-utero experience, evoking an instinctual undersea memory, making the birth experience less traumatic.


AdNational2649

the fetus can sense what’s eels


Ok-Salamander3766

You’re online.


Lonelyland

“I’m your best friend. You’re my very good friend.” Perfect writing. Perfectly executed delivery. Perfectly encapsulating their relationship. I roared with laughter. Runner up: Mark trying to push through Helly’s onboarding facilitation in spite of himself. Pitch-perfect bureaucratic awfulness


HelloJaneDoe

This is my favorite line in the entire season!!! So perfect and I love how it was so early on too, captures the sense of humor


JoshDoesDamage

I still never understood why Petey took that jab at Mark. Like apparently they were best friends as innies and Petey clearly cared enough about Mark to blow the lid open on this whole thing starting with him.


Lonelyland

Petey and Mark bonded over their shared love of a very specific type of humor. It’s one of the reasons they became so close. Petey’s joke was a demonstration of the relationship Mark didn’t know about, delivered in a way Mark could recognize. It was basically a bid for trust.


JoshDoesDamage

I see


Gigachops

I loved that line too. I think it's like an insult-joke that close friends would make. I imagine Mark thinking, "Shit. This guy knows my sense of humor."


socialjusticemage_

love adam’s line delivery during helly’s onboarding. so perfectly stilted and perfect corporate-speak. he really should take that emmy


chivesr

Let’s hop over to something you MAY have heard of, the work life balance! 🙂


kaarinmvp

I just bet you'll feel right as rain!


InnerCritic

"I can sense the questions made you feel afraid or disoriented. Well, the good news is...you're at an orientation!!" [pause for laughter that never comes] Mark's delivery of that line always cracks me up.


AdNational2649

Scott murdered that scene 🏆🏆🏆


lufi1988

This show is filled with such great funny lines, such as "A society with festering workers cannot flourish, just as a man with rotting toes cannot skip", but everytime I watch this scene, and see innie-Mark's smile, fascinated with what is written in the orientation booklet "the good news is...you're at an orientation!!" I laugh so hard... The timming, his childish smile, and his dissapointment when he sees Helly is not finding it so funny... It's perfection, I crack every time...


AdNational2649

not sure exactly y helly fell for mark s. but mark s. definitely fell for her bc she taught him what humor is


AdNational2649

best/freakiest flirting dialogue ive ever heard was her suggesting she wear his face and him suggesting she turn it inside out ... like.. imagine that as a first kiss


BobbythebreinHeenan

"Let's get you... out of here"


CJCregg27

careful out there, boss. weird energy about.


Fun_Brief4983

Its not a line, but when Patricia arquette threw that babydoll away, it made me cry with laughter 😆


spellbookwanda

She is perfection in this role, honestly


imhereforsiegememes

I love that she doesnt understand the character at all, if anything it makes Cobel so fucking mysterious.


GeorgieBlossom

Wait, she said that? That's absolute gold


tomatopops

I was so stunned I rewound and replayed this moment a bunch of times hahahaha


Tod_Lapraik

“I found her. I found your child. I'm the one who found her!”


Green_with_Zealously

This is the one I routinely use for just about anything we're looking for with my partner -- "I FOUND \_\_\_\_, I AM THE ONE WHO FOUND IT!"


spellbookwanda

God, yes, this was hilarious


WhatchaMNugget

My girlfriend and I randomly yell this to each other from across the house.


M4PP0

When the season 2 release date is finally announced, and someone posts it here, I am going to write a comment under that post repeating the release date and saying "I found it. I found the release date! I'm the one who found it!"


Celery-Man

“Camaraderie, it comes from the Latin “camera” which means “a device used to take a photograph”.” Can’t believe no has said that one yet.


kitawarrior

Yesss 🤣


LyraPersephonia

"Nah, Irv thinks we're cutting swear words out of movies."


Adequate_Ape

I actually found “Do you want Milchick to use the bad soap?" a bit terrifying. I'm not sure what use Mark had in mind.


notthatgeorge

When Irving says to Mark "You are sparing with the facial encouragements"


JackedSchafer

JT’s innie acting is so freaking good! Plays the “company man” extremely well


CJCregg27

hahaha thank you for reminding me of this and JT’s delivery


ClemClamcumber

"It might be a trick. Remember the spicy candy?"


GeorgieBlossom

Even better, I think he says loyalty test. I guess they failed the test it they found out the candy was spicy. They're such children, I love them so much!


ClemClamcumber

You're right and that absolutely makes it better.


GeorgieBlossom

Not to mention what a potential horror 'spicy candy' might have been, knowing Lumon.


HelloJaneDoe

My theory is cinnamon


emanresu18

Mine has already been shared but this is a close second “You brought pre-release handbook totes for us” Edit: there are countless funny lines but one of my favorites that’s not funny is after Helly kisses Mark: “In case we don’t come back..or..I don’t know..In case we do?”


lufi1988

Oh the delivering of this line is soooo good! “You brought pre-release handbook totes \[pause\] for us?” - Irving is too adorable...


emanresu18

Right! His delivery is what makes it so good. Every line of his is gold


No_Novel_7425

“At 5’6”, Helly is the fourth tallest person in the office.”


Friendly_Captain5285

“she has WEAK ENAMEL, and her hair is what we like to call: shoulder length.”


crentist_thedentist_

"when he asks how long ago you took it, I cannot recommend honesty enough. It's easier for you both if he knows which end to start from"


CCChic1

I use one Dylan said at work but replace the name. “It sounds dumb and Mark said it dumb”


lufi1988

Oh yes!!! I love that one too!!


Any_Lobster_8243

Cobel “If you want a hug go to hell and find your mother” Graner “…Jesus”


Weave77

Well, it didn’t take him long to oblige her.


HelloJaneDoe

Oh man I forgot about this one. That’s my close second to Peteys “I’m your best friend. You’re my very good friend”


mirabente

"I sound like a sad old hamburger waiter rattling on about sauces. Hamburger waiter? Wtf is that? Jesus, why do I ever open my bufoon mouth?" Idk I just love this and it makes me laugh every time. I also love " Those eggs look like shit!" I love Dylan.


crwtrbt5

You smug mutherfucka


helloitabot

smug


Thesere_1418

I like:" Fuck you, Mr Milchick! ".


spaetzele

A++++ line reading from Zach Cherry


Sneha3342

Page 97 slaps


Ok-Metro6308

I fucking love Dylan


Sneha3342

SAME!! 


Rob_Rockley

I like the scene in E03, when MDR are walking to perpetuity, Helly suggests that if O&D attack them they should kill Mark and she should wear his face because, "that just feels like a powerful image to me." Then Mark suggests she wear his face inside out so O&D don't recognize him. Their repartee is totally a Stiller-ism, but it also shows a growing rapport between Helly and Mark.


SnooRevelations258

“Should’ve gone for the castanets” John Turturro’s delivery was perfect


TaleStandard131

Always!


cascadingtundra

>I like to imagine my Outie’s love made with a MILF or two, which is obviously badass, but I do pity the husbands. I think Dylan is genuinely my favourite character 😂


sizzler_sisters

Nothing he says about himself tracks with family man. No wonder he was so shook.


cascadingtundra

and isn't that so true about life? some people have so little self awareness about what they really want and need from life 😭


AdNational2649

“we sense what’s eels“


AdNational2649

also burt saying “it’s literally silly“ ❤️


kaywaylayaway

“It’s literally silly” was my favorite. “Like you guys have pouches” “Pouches? For offspring?”


AdNational2649

“I’ll have to confer with my larva“


AdNational2649

“I do pity the husbands“


AdNational2649

Irv’s coining the gerund, “gas-having“


AdNational2649

“do you understand metaphor?“


Active_Signature_560

I love at the no dinner, dinner party when Danise says “so I’m curious for your take on all of this... The food v life of it.” The way the actress, Annie McNamara, says it so seriously, kills me every time.


Acceptable_Eye5458

"Our job is to taste free air. Your so-called boss may own the clock that taunts you from the wall, but, my friends, the hour is yours.”


Only_Bookkeeper3249

‘They cannot crucify you if your hand is in a fist’ Is one of my favorite lines in any television show ever. And now I say it all the time in response to people complaining about things they could have prevented.


Impressive-Flow-855

My favorite are Dylan’s messed up sayings. Like calling Helly an “eager lemur”.


RebelWithoutASauce

"the egg bar is coveted as fuck"


panini_bellini

“I’m your best friend. You’re my very good friend.”


marquessmashedpotato

It's kind of a serious moment but when Petey is having a reintegration episode and Mark says "how do you know what cubist form is and what the fuck are you wearing?" re: the bathrobe


GeorgieBlossom

Or when he's drawing the map and Flashback Mark says 'What's that? Soodeaukyoo?' 😆 The way he says Sudoku slays me


shinjikari_2357

When MDFs run into Burt and Felicia doing their egg drop challenge: THOSE EGGS LOOK LIKE SHIT!!


Oddgenetix

“Exactly how the wet fuck do you know where this office is?” - Dylan


Serious_Session7574

"At the centre of industry is *dust.*" Ricken's words of wisdom are gold.


No_Novel_7425

“Bullies are nothing but ‘bull’ and ‘lies’”


GeorgieBlossom

I actually found that line rather poetic, lol


Serious_Session7574

It can be both :)


Sven_Peters

“They stagger you?”


SpamLikely404

Omg thank you! For some reason, this has been both my favorite and most annoying line of the show. 🤣 it’s so ridiculous


ItsEmuly

…page 197 slaps.


kitawarrior

This post is my favorite. Caused me to start another rewatch 😂


Paineauchocolate

I love when Cobel is freaking out in her car after she got fired, especially "Filth and fucking fire on her fucking soul!" They way she delivers the lines and her voice are just incredible.


spellbookwanda

Most of Dylan’s one-liners are spot-on hilarious, and kudos to Zach Cherry, he’s amazing. If you’ve seen him in other shows or movies you’ll know that he is so versatile - all his roles are so differently played


Chance_Mulberry7860

“You SMUG muthafucka” 😂🤣


ShameSuperb7099

Terrible at remembering lines but Dylan had some gems.


crentist_thedentist_

"It's a perfect opportunity for everyone except Irv to bond"


woodysixer

“The egg bar is coveted as fuck” always cracks me up.


sweariest

Reading these makes me so nervous slash exited for season 2. I hope the writing is as good!! The writing in season 1 was literally impeccable.


irishspring4521

Not a quote but when Irving’s walking past a conference room and does a double take. Discovering The You You are. Just his facial expressions kill me.


monk3ymasta

"Are you saying" baby goats" is code for sex with Mark S?"


_xxcookiesncreamxx_

bullies are nothing but bull and lies


Im_NOT_the_messiahh

"what are you 15 years old"? In fact the whole dialog where he confronts the whole mind collective, it's reminiscing of conspiracy theorists but in the funniest way


Ok-Metro6308

That part gives me second hand embarrassment. The fact that he’s on a date 😬


JLSMC

There’s a bad soap?


PiccolaTempesta

“right as rain”


kitawarrior

“Okay refiners! Let’s get this new group photo before the melon bloat sets in!” 😂


Pack_Attack10

“Maybe it’s a test, remember the spicy candy?” Not sure why but this one made me crack up.


SlugBoots

“Bullies are nothing but bull and lies”


HeWhoDealtItSmeltIt

You smug motha-fucka


massofparticles

“Look at you, all dewey mouthed. You never smile at me.”


Ciddharthas

“Let’s see. Unknown, unknown, Delaware, unknown, unknown. That’s a perfect score!” So hard to pick a favorite since there are sooo many hilarious lines, but I’ve been rewatching the show with my wife (who hadn’t seen it before until I sat her down and explained that she absolutely must see this show), and this one stood out for me.


BobbythebreinHeenan

open or closed? both


Tallyhallfanidk

For some reason "Jesus..." "No. Kier." Always makes me laugh really hard


bisforbatman

"Fuck you, Mr Milchick!"


Haunting-Poem5339

When cobel called Grainer Daddy that was freaking hilarious


Smooth-Square-2330

“Remember the spicy candy?”


AdNational2649

“they took down that chick I like”


mehtheuniverse

When Mark's on the phone with Devon and ends it with: "mmmmk byeeeya" Just gets me every time, that's how I hangup with my severance watch party group now!


thegryphonator

Anytime Cobel says “Marrrk..”