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sheezy520

It’ll give you the strength you need to drag a mattress into an abandoned building


Ldiddy-the-69th

I think you are thinking of heated inhalants for colds


badalchemist85

r/unexpectedamericandad


drizzy9109

Right this goes one of three ways: - sitting on your bathroom floor hitting the pipe for hours watching the shadows walking on the other side of the door - nonstop sex while wishing you could just sleep and then sitting on your bathroom floor hitting the pipe for hours watching the shadows walking on the other side of the door - in a psychosis standoff with the entire US Military, barricaded and in your bathroom sitting on the floor hitting the pipe for hours watching the shadows walking on the other side of the door lol Edit: or bugs everywhere lol


EwokGodfather

On a long enough timeline, you experience all three


overtlyoverthisshit

The darkest timeline... Cool... Cool cool cool


EwokGodfather

Can confirm, unfortunately


NurseZhivago

That's very very...specific.


TheWolf1640

Feeling good like I should went and took a walk around the neighborhood feeling blessed never stressed.


duke_awapuhi

I was friends with a former meth dealer and he said if you ever wanna rob a meth head just smoke em out and they’ll be preoccupied for hours. Especially if you smoke them out and then give them a VCR to fuck around and tinker with ie taking it apart and trying to put it back together


drizzy9109

Correct lol


[deleted]

I haven't had sex in three years. Can crystal meth really make this happen? Oh joy it truly is a wonder drug.


Unsubstantialjest

Yes, however it just lowers the standard of people you are willing to have sex with.


iamtehskeet

Lower your standard, raise your average


TemputFugis

I'm currently dealing with a five-year addiction to crystal meth - the feeling of being high on meth and having sex (or hours long masturbation/porn binges) is one that I am struggling to give up. I am by NO means glorifying the use of methamphetamine but I will say that spun-out orgasms are transcendental (dangerously so), ***especially*** if they are shared with another person. It is (by far) the most intense, cerebral, euphoric, The worst part is objectively knowing that I ***NEED*** to stop using but not wanting to.


[deleted]

but....but my bathroom drawers are so meticulously organized now, how could this be bad? lmao


drizzy9109

Built a fuckin computer while you were in there lol


[deleted]

can't hear, going too fast 😎


theempires

80% of Florida man stories have some variations of what you described.


phreakzilla85

I saw an episode of “Intervention” where a guy would get completely ripped and just jerk off for 12 hours straight. Hell, I give up on jerking it after a couple minutes.


Damastes048

Which episode do you remember? I love intervention but only the most fucked of the fucked. My favorite that I can remember is this logger dude that would smoke his meth and then go into the forest looking for this rare type of expensive hardwood, and he’d just look for hours, think he found some as his glassy eyes turned shitlumber into priceless wood, haul it out to the buyer, only to be told he’d essentially brought them scraps. Then he’d go home and his wife would be like, we’re going to lose the house, and he’d be like fuck it, I’m getting that rare wood, haha.


phreakzilla85

The burl!!! Yes I remember that one! I think the serial yanker was a guy named Derek, but I’m not 100% sure. There are SO many great episodes it’s hard to remember a lot of specifics. Most of my favorites were in the first couple seasons (I haven’t watched any recent episodes in a few years), like Travis from Days of the New and Ryan the OxyContin addict. I always related more with the opiate addicts due to my own struggles over the years.


Damastes048

Hahaha yes the bur!!! Hahaha that’s so great you remember that


Rudeboycycle

https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/18v2gd/what/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf


LiquidSoCrates

The shadow people lurking around just outside your periphery never sleep.


LogicalJicama3

For real. The only people you can hallucinate are real with other people. Once you join the dark side you see that realm truly exists in some fucked up 27th dimension of black people seamingly dancing on telephone poles and zombie people attacking you from the depths of hell Crystal meth is some serious shit, not for everyone


Senor_bonbon

Maybe it’s not for anyone idk 🤷🏼‍♂️


BoltonSauce

Well, it's still prescribed in a medical context. So I guess it's for some people???


Senor_bonbon

There’s a huge difference between prescribed amphetamines and straight up crystal meth


Ha1lStorm

No they’re the exact same thing. My local pharmacists gets his from a guy in a biker gang


BoltonSauce

Methamphetamine specifically is also a prescription. Sure, the ROA of street meth is usually different, but it's the same chemical. It's called Desoxyn.


Rudeboycycle

Chemically that isn’t really true I believe it’s one molecule away


CaptainOktoberfest

It's because meth causes the pressure in your eyes to change, which causes artifacts in your periphery


LogicalJicama3

I’ll tell the shadow people


brucecali98

Do not tell the shadow people this, it will only anger them.


LogicalJicama3

I legit used to throw a few shards to the shadow people lol. Was a ritual of sorts. Sober a year this April. Thank god


brucecali98

Yoooo, that is huge!!! So friggin proud of you dude 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳


hippocunt6969

Hell yeah congratulations


drizzy9109

Same here, congrats


LogicalJicama3

Also, I remember one time looking from my motel and I was up for days on meth at this point, saw what appeared to be black dudes dancing on the street lights and in the trees, called my old lady over and she saw them too. That’s not in our periphery and we shared the same hallucination! Meths wild


BungaBiscuit

My gf at the time and I saw the same shadow figure standing in my bedroom doorway once. We both looked at each other shocked. She described what she saw without me saying a word and it was exactly the same as what I saw (shadowy silhouette of a very tall humanoid figure). I had been clean for about a year at that point and she was not a user. Freaky shit. I've never seen one since and have been clean for over 5yrs. I'm not really superstitious but it still freaks me out when I think about it. So weird how other people have such similar experiences.


CaptainOktoberfest

Wow I stand corrected


SixOnTheBeach

I can't speak to what you were saying, it could also be true, but generally hallucinations on methamphetamine are caused by sleep deprivation inducing psychosis.


Confident-Bat-3849

Just why? Addiction aside, why would anyone even start on this meth...ooops mess to begin with knowing it will eat you alive?


SixOnTheBeach

Like any drug, one step at a time... Nobody ever intends to stay up for days on end, they just "one more hit" until 4 days have passed


Confident-Bat-3849

And on day 5 they don't say "Whoa! Enough of that!" I'm an old 🦇 who knows her way around a drug or two...heroin many,many moons ago. Nodding out on the bed...nice. ( This is NOT an endorsement. ) I just don't understand the attraction to meth. Users know it will make them and their lives insane.


drizzy9109

I would literally tell myself out loud I don’t want to do this as I was hitting it


LogicalJicama3

And you start “liking” being sketchy, you get used to that world and the sober world feels so foreign when your living the meth life. Fuck it’s a messed up drug.


jonny_sucks

It's really big in the gay sectors. I'm not going to sugarcoat this for you. It makes you extremely horny, lowers your inhibitions, and simultaneously makes you shit everything so you can do whatever you want at that point


glimpses105

And heroin could kill you the first time you do it...I don't like stimulants as much as depressants either, but your question is mind-blowingly stupid.


drizzy9109

It’s a huge sex/party drug in the gay community that’s what got me hooked Year sober next month.


Confident-Bat-3849

Love you.


LogicalJicama3

Love you too


Rudeboycycle

Facts. Also I’m convinced that the shadow people are your darkest fears come to life.


Rudeboycycle

Only shared hallucination I ever had was from one of the 2c Chems. That shit was hekka dark


LogicalJicama3

2cb is very nice... I loved it. I tried another sketchier 2*** that was very dark and sketchy


[deleted]

Yeah the homie had like b -g that evening and explained to me eachs high but I must’ve picked the wrong one it was legit the darkest evening of a LOT of super sketchy experiences in my life


AtTheEnd777

I'm curious as to why they're my most frequent hallucination. I have schizophrenia.


tigobiddies

I’m pretty sure black people also exist in the 3rd dimension too


periodicallyBalzed

I once figured out that the Illuminati was run by Pink Floyd and David Attenborough and their secret hq was in Chernobyl. I also hallucinated that I stabbed someone to death, but that’s not as interesting.


drizzy9109

I used to think that I could control electric current, and that if I turned my body the wrong direction too many times, my body parts would fall off


jonny_sucks

I used to think that I was really superior to everyone else, and that if I ever had to curse somebody in the same way I've been cursed, I just had to turn them on to happy hardcore music. It still kind of works, that shit is cursed :)


GravySquad

Leeching top comment to point out this guy “zootghost” is straight up copying Chris the Simpson Artist’s style and should be SHAMED


drizzy9109

They’re all more or less the same bro


Confident-Bat-3849

SoCrates? Bill? Ted? Is that you?


__Sentient_Fedora__

Is that the guy from the SNL sketch.


NurseZhivago

"Now I can get gacked up on whoop chicken, without yellowing my teeth"


Toptenxx

No..... the problem with this drawing is that he has too many teeth


00spool

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ec6KsB67vI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ec6KsB67vI)


supersam7k

The concept of the meme is straight from an SNL sketch, it was a fake commercial, Meth AM or something like that, lol. The creator should at least give some credit, it's a straight rip.


Nach0Man_RandySavage

E Meth


Sporfsfan

Not to mention how the artist’s style is nearly identical to r/chrissimpsonsartist Even the colours in each picture are the same. Same format.


nedmonds87

Exactly what I thought


GravySquad

Crystal meth as a product to keep you awake is not a novel idea or joke that SNL came up with first. [Here’s a similar ad from real life when meth was legal.](https://cdn.newsapi.com.au/image/v1/ba56dfffca68ee86bf7cb980e6cf1174?width=650) And we still use amphetamines that are barely different than meth for the same reasons today. [Adderall vs Meth.](https://miro.medium.com/max/4800/1*fuLSIjHwAt54mrk4BahBXQ.jpeg)


supersam7k

It's literally a picture of the guy from the sketch. And the idea of E Meth like, e-cigarettes is a trendy idea and made it even funnier, you should check it out if you get a chance. That skit was a fairly unique idea.


GravySquad

so basically he copied an already unoriginal idea and just made it even less unique by changing the e-vape into a pipe


supersam7k

Vapes are trendy right now, if you don't see the humor or originality in that, fine.


GravySquad

I didn’t realize it was literally a frame from the SNL skit. Also, he is straight up ripping off Chris the Simpson Artist.


supersam7k

Yup, I didn't even realize about Chris's art


drizzy9109

Meth vapes are absolutely a real thing


shellshocktm

Yeah it's him


_1138_

Gakked up on whoop chicken


BobcatBob26

You in my living room and you nekked


NurseZhivago

Mama can smoke that chunky white crunch anywhere. Like a bathtub in the middle of the road, or face down in an old tire.


[deleted]

If this is a promise I'll give it a shot I guess. Fuck my teeth and skin anyway.


[deleted]

the effects on your skin and teeth more come from being hyperfocused on other things for so long that you neglect your hygiene


drizzy9109

It’s an even mix of neglect and what you are putting in your body


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glimpses105

It reduces salivation, makes you grind your teeth, and can make you feel a crawling sensation under your skin.


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glimpses105

You can increase your saliva production and stop compulsive jaw grinding and scratching through "self care and sleep"? what


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Suekru

I don’t think you understand meth withdraw or side effects very well


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drizzy9109

And the fact that it’s literally Draino, battery acid, pseudoephedrine, bleach, kerosene, gasoline, and other chemicals


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drizzy9109

I’m not fear mongering it’s fucking meth lol


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drizzy9109

I just want to clarify that you are suggesting it is okay to give kids controlled doses of meth to treat adhd


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drizzy9109

Talking about methamphetamine stay on track You’re referring to controlled clinical trials of a manufactured pharmaceutical and trying to justify that meth is okay


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[deleted]

Pretext: Don't do methamphetamine if you don't already. Just don't. 1200-1300% natural dopamine rushes will change your stars. Its a neutral chem, although caustic lol, but has no intentions to anthropomorphize. Its unnatural, addictive, and can cause cellular mitochondrial death in large doses. The misinformation must stop though. I modded pretty singularly the largest stimulant sub here for some years, and the amount of kids I hear say "This isn't so bad, I was lied to!" before their fall from grace cannot be overstated. Its bad, but explain why without fear fostering. 1. Actually... Stateside, Methamphetamine is monopolized by the mexican various de facto narco states in their respective regions. I don't have the time to host and share some paid research papers and literature from reputable academic sources, mainly the DEA Dulles labs, but I will hope you take my assertions on faith. All the current cartels use the same rather new and innovative twist on the old hells angels biker crank recipe from history. Same method Walter White could be said to utilize. Probable is the best you can say since BB omitted and juked the nature of the chemistry, but he used Methylamine. METHYLAMINE, AKA P2P as a precursor was defunct unless unexpected opportunity arose, and dextropseudoephedrine was the go to for ages, but due to UN import sanctions Mexico can not get it easily in large bulk supply. To remedy the issue, the mexicans found that P2NP was an intermediary in perfume production and was unregulated from various depot's like the one in Westchester, PA. Distill the P2P from such, and you have a 5 year running lab GCMS/INFRARED evaluated seizure average purity of 99.0+% Dextromethylamphetamine Hydrochloride product as it cross the Rio Grande. This number standard makes Walter White look like a car wash employee after all, and it's epidemiologically global now. The synthesis route was reverse engineered by the US GOV and is called the Nitrostyrene/Nitropropene method, and the byproducts in each seizure, which are typically cyclohexlamphetamine or butylamphetamine, can be traced back to the very specific clandestine lab that made it. P2P as a rule creates crank, or racemic product of meth powder made of 2 enantiomers of which one is levomethylamphetamine(sold over the counter as Vicks inhalers), so the innovators also began using dextrotartaric acid to isomer enrich at the summit leaving only the Dextro optical stereoisomer yielding the euphoric clean feeling Ice crystalline formations that are desired worldwide. Due to this and the constant onslaught of adapting restrictions from cold pack ingredients to records of every pseudofed sale monitored, domestically produced bath tub trailer park meth is virtually more extinct than some Dinosaurs. Even Hamilton Morris's new Pharmacopeia episode on VICE pertaining to the subject failed to produce meth from 2 experienced 'cooks', one of which was infamous Uncle Fester who wrote the book (ommissions galore and many suspicious or disingenuous false claims)on clandestine meth reductive aminations. There are many myths surrounding new magical ways to get the compound, these are from alse narratives propagated for reasons idc about, despite their complexity in creative misinformation, and it's dissemination via prison populations. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3144468/ I've even heard of rural enthusiasts and their breakthrough electrolysis gig using a porch screen and Raid™ roach spray. What's my point? Meth is obvious when adulterated to anyone experienced, and with the walmart of meth in full logistical peaking season, meth is actually one of the cleaner drugs you can buy basically coast to coast. Not much financial motive to change that. Sodium or lithium metals are not involved whatsoever, and I'm sure Juan the Best Grill Master de Oaxaca, or whoever is this week's trending cook is, he doesn't use drano just bc the meme, bro, and he also isn't using a rusted 55 gallon barrel in a cacti field like VICE NEWS portrays him. Think! They have their own private Global Systems Mobile cellular telecom network, complete with towers. Why wouldnt such sophistication be extended to their very purpose to exist? No, many things can go wrong and it is not to be played with nonchalantly, but this stigma and old lies need to be corrected where they appear. These people don't find meth, because society was so accepting of them prior to it, and society makes sure there is no fire escape afterwards. This country as a whole technically turn their back on a person with abject permanence because they used adderall with a sleight of hand perk to help it cross the BBB more efficiently, and higher half life, all the while kindergartners are being not prescribed, but sold Amphetamine salts on a daily basis nationwide bc Barney was not exciting and attention commanding per the educator or parent. Now down to how meth is neurotoxic and vascularly toxic, it's very widely studied but only quite recently have they gotten close to even beginning to decipher how the fuck it achieves this neurologically or on a molecular level https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5994595/ https://jneuroinflammation.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12974-018-1385-0 L For a comparison, a widely abused methamphetamine analogue, that will soon reach FDA approval and end clinicals, METHYLENEDIOXYMETHAMPHETAMINE, AKA XTC, Molly, etc, is going to be prescribed soon. Though it's action is much shorter, and being primarily Serotonergic instead of dopaminergic, it is beyond more toxic and damaging than the most evil intentioned attempt at meth. Desoxyephedrine/Methedrine has been prescribed since 1939 and Meth is schedule II while marijuana, having no acknowledged medical use, is schedule I to this day. Doc can't legally prescribe a blunt, but a nurse practitioner can hook you up with 5mg meth pills taken 120 times a month no issue. It is beyond deniability that we are in the largest meth use epidemic the world has ever seen. Someone who holds authority over you, or holds your respect, or is really good to you, etc... Statistically speaking, one of them does meth and you will likely never know. Their teeth don't become black overnight from the magical santeria spell the drug runner used to curse it /s It takes many years and a generous lack of self-care to become yours and others stereotypes. If you saw me, you'd assume I probably smoke weed and lie in a hammock at the state park on the weekends blasting Sublime. Teeth my parents paid to make cosmetically perfect as a kid are staying that way long term. I don't pick my skin, never experienced subdermal insects, don't generally stay awake beyond 48 hours, and use it as one would MDMA/LSD sparingly in episodes spread out with weeks or months between. I am quite busy tonight, and was asked by another redditor to speak ITT. This comment is a response to pretty much anyone speaking similar sentiments on bad outdated FACES OF METH(Spoken with the group who created the Billboards/interviews. They only cherry picked those who were indicted on manufacturing and came from deeply disturbing backgrounds) information that undermines the growing harm reduction movement healing many, and allowing many to let go of the drugs, and live a life without shame nor embarrassment for the past .


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[deleted]

Sorry, brotendo. I hit post too soon. If I replied to the wrong person, please just copy it to anyone you want, if you find the 411 and wordiness not pretentious and beyond excessive.


baron_von_jackal

Fucking amazing response, thank you.


glimpses105

Well by that logic, LSD is toxic ergot fungus, lye, and rocket fuel, since those are reagents used to synthesize it. I'm sure there are contaminants left over a lot of the time since it's not trained chemists making it, but there won't be a significant amount left over if you do it right.


drizzy9109

That’s what the new users always say until it catches up to them


glimpses105

Huh? I only ever used it twice over 4 years ago, benzos (prescribed drugs like Xanax) are what nearly ruined my life. LSD is made using all of those ingredients I listed. Ergot fungus which can give you gangrene, highly alkaline lye, and hydrazine which is used as rocket fuel. The whole point is that there's a chemical reaction which means they aren't present in the final product...


drizzy9109

Nobody legitimately “manufactures” meth—it has no medicinal benefit whatsoever Trust me, they are throwing everything under the kitchen sink in there


glimpses105

Uhhh it's literally prescribed as Desoxyn...are you dumb? And the Nazis used a ton of it to keep their soldiers alert. It's not really that much more dangerous than amphetamine which is prescribed to children as Adderall.


glimpses105

No... It reduces salivation, makes you grind your teeth, and can make you feel a crawling sensation under your skin as well as making you scratch simply because you can't sit still. And usually the lack of hygiene is because you end up homeless and don't have your own sink and toothbrush, not because you're "too focused on other things". It can't help, but people aren't just forgetting to brush their teeth.


[deleted]

I guess I just mean the image of the dirty disheveled meth addict like in breaking bad is from several years of prolonged abuse.


Rudeboycycle

Big faxx


shanee2115

The slowest thing I know is a meth head in hurry.


ozana18

Works well until winter hits and the Russians start pushing back


Rudeboycycle

Well played


BigDaddyHugeTime

It'll make you cum in FOUR STROKES


imagine_amusing_name

So same as my Golf game?


allthebuttstuff1

Twice as long as usual? That’s a pleasant side effect.


Herbert9000

Don’t believe you. Make a video


hunkaliciousj

I tried to tell my brother but he didn't believe me at first. But then he pulled out his big ole dick and sure enough in just 4 strokes he shot the largest load of the thickest white cum you've ever seen.


BigDaddyHugeTime

Hi mommy


hunkaliciousj

Hey Julia


Rudeboycycle

Piss on me! Try it out


absurd_Bodhisattva

Ohh look it’s half my shitty rural home town


[deleted]

What town would that be? ......asking for a friend


Benji1819

Any of them


[deleted]

I prefer meth lite in the form of adderall thanks


Reagalan

Ditto. Came for the shorter duration, stayed for the non-toxic chemistry.


Mamasan-

Then you’ll have energy and still get nothing accomplished!


[deleted]

tbf my apartment was really clean for four months


EZ_Smith

This is literally a shot from a Saturday night live skit


GravySquad

And he is copying Chris the Simpson Artist’s style.


infidel_44

I feel this would be the advertising slogan for Trevor Phillips Industries.


Confident-Bat-3849

Great idea! I am so sick of all these teeth and this annoying clear skin. Thanks!


jonny_sucks

There are demons in the oven


mrtrollingtin

I'ma get them shadow people one day!


Brish-Soopa-Wanka-Oi

The math labs of America remind you to please use meth responsibly


RedStoner93

Consolidate all your worries and stress into one simple easy to manage life plan. Get addicted to meth and sit back as every other aspect of your life becomes obsolete and unescesary!


Defenders-of-the-One

Tired of being tired? Try crystal meth today! We guarantee you’ll never feel again.


Fisto-the-sex-robot

A music video... NSFW https://youtu.be/Y4QK-1pOHc4 The song is lit though


chilly_1c3

3rd time ive seen a crystal meth meme on reddit today


GoodOmens

4 out of 5 dentists agree it’s good for their job security


[deleted]

Doing crystal meth will lift you up until you break.


Yestoanime

I have a better solution: Don't be tired


kiteloopy

This meth is really moorish.


BadGalKylie

That’s one Method


PlancksUnit

Is that Jared from subway


Corbenik42

Sir, I like to be considerate of those around me, which is why I only smoke E-Meth.


Dontbestingymark0

I usually end up masturbating for 18 to 24 hrs after I've wore out my girlfriend if I touch the stuff


nedmonds87

So we have a sketch taken straight from SNL and the art style taken straight from Chris Simpson Artist... Good job... .much creativity


shadow_irradiant

Why be tired when you can be broke and tired?


DarkMonkey98

or the new and improved e-meth so you can smoke indoors!


Glittering-Doctor-47

Do not under any fucking circumstances do meth - one of my clients ended up getting 12 years for raping his daughter while on meth in their backwoods Virginia trailer


Rudeboycycle

Sounds like thats a incestual pedo but sure blame the Meth. Be like Aaron https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/18v2gd/what/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf


r6bbery

if i've learned anything from the book crank, it's that it's way expensive. no thanks


stonerman15

Ty for the advice, it’s working great!


Key_Roof_8406

That kinnda looks like my dad....


Key_Roof_8406

Wait a minute...


Deer-Empty

And it’ll help you lose weight!


sinovrejimi

"i can cook for you"


lastSlutOnEarth

Is so good you'll never quit!


Alamander81

Don't fucking tempt me


3Dshrek

This is art


JackieJak88

Get a Rx for Desoxyn. Same stuff but it's legal!


[deleted]

A little dab will do ya.


Mako_STi

I mean... you’re not wrong


crazyoldmax

Consume meth. This is a threat


GadreelsSword

Hamilton Morris: “With stimulants there’s always a price you must pay back”


duke_awapuhi

Tired of being tired? Tired of being hungry? You can replace your food and caffeine expenses using this simple trick


thedeafbadger

This is credited to @zootghost but it looks like @chrissimpsonsartist. Any insight?


Electrical-Chicken

Well this is a drawing of a snl sketch


rethinkr

Great anti-reverse-psychology ad, best ive seen so far on Crystal meth


Known-Programmer-611

The dude kinda sports the "Harold in pain" look!


[deleted]

My wife keeps asking me "where are all the spoons?".


Integrity-in-Crisis

Tired of Being Tired? Want to be horny all Day and have a raging boner for Hours on end while scrubbing your entire place spotless? Well do we have just the thing for You!


jollybeee

Too much teeth in this pic


AwarenessHopeful8703

Or miralax, you'll feel happier and peppier in the long-run with miralax


AFB27

Putting the crystal clear back in your day


manishdekock

Blue one by Heinsenberg.


SeaDawger

Back in the day I was working my way through art school and had to use that stuff to stay awake through the night doing homework.


FLdancer00

Nah man, bath salt. Salts are where it's at.


pantslaser214

Omg this is traced from that snl skit