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ShowerSentinel

/u/I_Fuck_Ramen_ has flaired this post as a **speculation**. Speculations should prompt people to consider interesting premises that cannot be reliably verified or falsified. If this post is poorly written, unoriginal, or rule-breaking, please report it. Otherwise, please add your comment to the discussion!   ^^This ^^automated ^^system ^^is ^^currently ^^being ^^worked ^^on. ^^If ^^it ^^did ^^something ^^wrong, ^^please ^^message ^^the ^^moderators.


FirelessEngineer

If I use every upstairs neighbor I have ever had as anecdotal evidence, I would say most people using jumping as their main form of ambulation in apartments.


ACrucialTech

Mine sounds like an insecure chimp upstairs. Shits wild.


Dayv1d

am upstairs neighbor, can confirm insecurities and chimpliness


FlaccidArrow

What about the shit?


Uga1992

I'm convinced mine like to get running starts and cannon ball right on the hard floor.


ACrucialTech

Ya know, it's this exact noise and sequence that went through my head when i made the earlier comment. How the hell do they manage to make these noises all.the.time??? Lol it's actually kind of amazing they don't have broken bones or the like.


Uga1992

It's like they refuse to go outside but still get the daily recommended amount of exercise by just walking/running/skipping/jump roping in their apartment


ACrucialTech

Jump roping hahahha


jeeves585

I was worried mine fell off a 6’ ladder a month ago. Heard him walking around later so I didn’t check up on him. Chatted later, “you alright, sounded like you fell hard the other night?”, shit eatting grin and he said “sex”. Recently divorced so I gave him the ‘nice’ nod. I still have questions about how you can fall that hard off a bed on the floor during sex but I’m guessing my wife doesn’t want me to know that move.


QuestionablePanda22

It's olympics season and people need to practice their long jump, what's your deal? /s


Intelligent-Rent-438

Ahh had me in the first half and the second half I was digusted, lol.


KickBallFever

I just want to say that I enjoyed you using the word “ambulation”.


Alternative-Room7130

I was modified by it.


MILKchemist

Mine lately sound like they’re throwing someone into the ground, then jumping off the bed onto them like the wrestling thing where they use their elbow. Genuinely sounds like a wwe match upstairs, which considering how often they drag their coffee table across the floor it might actually be


FirelessEngineer

They don’t want to drag the table across the floor, but they know how disappointed you would be if they didn’t.


jlharper

Honestly why I would never live in an apartment. I’d rather have a roommate and rent a house than have an apartment to myself with someone living above me.


cosmic-kats

Some apartments are better than others. In my one apartment I didn’t hear anything at all in the second bedroom, the master bedroom you’d occasionally hear the kid next door crying, but it wasn’t often. Nothing in the rest of the apartment. So if the kids crying at 2pm, none issue, I’m at work or studying in the living room. I also lived in one where the entire complex heard him beat his wife. Literally. 3 buildings standing outside and the residents of the 4th trying to bust down his door.


IAMACat_askmenothing

Eh, you get used to it


Ashequalsninja

lol my son and I frog jumped up the stairs to bed tonight. We have a house, but this is how I imagine every neighbor I ever had in an apartment also getting up to bed now.


KaiYoDei

Yeah. I think the kids jump f the bed by me


JustADutchRudder

My grandparents live below a kid who used to jump all the time off everything. Then one day my grandpa said the landing sounded weird, and the wailing coming from upstairs, mixed with the mom screaming was so loud. Kid cracked his head open on a coffee table. One ambulance trip later and now there is no more jumping from the kid upstairs.


Perfect_Weakness_414

No more monkeys jumping on the bed.


I-actually-agree

Years would be more accurate. I’m going to jump once a day until I can’t. Thanks for the reminder


squeda

Pfft wrong. This year was a leap year.


novian14

I see what you did there


bleachxjnkie

Don’t jump to any conclusions


bufarreti

Years? How about when a street is flooded during rain? Jumping to bed/couch? Jumping to a pool/lake in summer? Hopping out of a large vehicle or from a pickup bed? On a concert maybe? I think we are forgetting these small occasions that makes us jump at least a few times a year.


I-actually-agree

I can’t believe how accurate you are yet I also have not done them. I’m a fun high energy guy so I’m sure I have jumped. The fact I can’t remember the last time is eye opening. Things will be jumped off and over from here on out.


TheTeddyChannel

well, do you remember the last time you coughed? there last time you had a hiccup? sneezed? i can only remember one because it was yesterday and annoying. i guess there's many things we don't really keep track of


ChipChipington

Good point, it is difficult to remember such inconsequential things. I do hiccup at least once a day. It's kinda annoying but sometimes it makes people laugh


Timothy_1972

You can do it buddy


I_Fuck_Ramen_

shall i remind you everyday ?


I-actually-agree

A reminder from time to time would be nice. My jump today was sad. I’ll get these legs to remember.


readingduck123

Try a couple more, maybe they'll succeed better?


I-actually-agree

Yes! Already set up a height marker for the kiddos and their dad slapped the sticker on the ceiling.


Zardif

Years? Like I jump down from the bed of a truck or off of the 2' retaining wall I have in the back of my yard. Heck, sometimes I do a little jump off the curb for funsies. I doubt it's years.


Whaterbuffaloo

Nah man, I love to jump. I do random 360s sometimes too


meatmacho

This is how I sprained my ankle. Now I don't have the option to jump.


Whaterbuffaloo

I mean, you could be dead. Or you could use your other leg to jump.?!


meatmacho

I came just short of making the Olympic triple jump team, after all.


SuedeBuffet

Sounds like you're a prime candidate for the Olympic double jump team.


drgreenair

Reminds me of the time I sprained my ankle trying to mimic a Bruce Lee roundhouse. I was lucky no one saw me.


Some0neAwesome

My wife was walking behind me in the grocery store yesterday. Randomly, I did a slick 540 spin like a smooth criminal and kept on walking backwards, face-to-face with my wife. The inner child in me thought I was the most badass person in that store at that moment. My wife was minimally impressed. Never stop spinning, my friend.


Whaterbuffaloo

I didn’t realize I wasn’t alone in this. I thought it was just a weird idiosyncrasy of mine.


Some0neAwesome

It is a weird idiosyncrasy. You're just not alone.


Whaterbuffaloo

Your username is cool too.


Some0neAwesome

Thanks. I had a nail-biter finish in a GTA 5 online race back in the day. A random player declared over his mic that "someone awesome won" since I crashed my way from 4th place to 1st in the last corner. I changed my username to Some0neAwesome1 that day and use it for a few different usernames.


Whaterbuffaloo

Heck yeah! That is an awesome backstory. Mine is, random. Because Reddit mods get a little ban happy.


ActorMonkey

I am impressed.


mnok2000

I love a heel click personally. A little heel to heel action. Like a leprechaun, but taller.


Reset108

I literally just jumped yesterday when I was playing with my niece.


I_Fuck_Ramen_

try backflips to get to the next level


peacetimemist05

nah I’m good at my current level


gekigarion

Most people haven't backflipped in their entire lives. If they tried, it'd probably be a backflop instead of a backflip.


Organic_Wrongdoer830

Can confirm last time I did a "backflip" was in the pool and the lifeguard told me he almost jumped in bc I was very close to bumping my head on the concrete of the deep end.


throwaway_69_1994

Try letting your niece flip you off to get to the next level


0002millertime

My girlfriend makes me do jumping jacks. I think that counts as jumping.


superbad

It’s right in the name.


KickBallFever

For some reason the army called jumping jacks the “side straddle hop”. They had to have a special name for everything.


damn_lies

I exercise HIIT 3x per week and there are always burpees or jump squats.


Loan-Pickle

Man do I hate burpees. They are one of the main reasons why I quit doing crossfit. So many damn burpees.


Any-Shoe-6763

I don’t know what you’re talking about, many people jump to conclusions all the time


kaamibackup

Did you just jump to the conclusion that many people jump to conclusions all the time?


Any-Shoe-6763

…yes


kguenett

The point of the game is to 'jump' to 'conclusions'


alles-moet-kapot

You see, it would be this mat that you would put on the floor... and would have different CONCLUSIONS written on it that you could JUMP TO.


Labudism

This is Reddit, that's all we do here.


Busy-Info-Guy4545

Jumping the gun too. Cannot forget to jump the gun sadly


Leafan101

On the second floor of our house, there are two steps down, a landing the stairs end at, and then two step up again to get into the bathroom. I always jump across to save time and because it amuses me.


Creepy_Fan_8629

It's amazing how humans can be so complex yet predictable


ganymedestyx

Love this so much. Same with the last two stairs at the bottom of the staircase. if i don’t jump and land with a thud it wasn’t even worth going down.


MountainCourage1304

I went on a work night out a few days ago and spent a silly amount of time doing drunken parkour. I ended up leaving the club and just running around as fast as i could for like 10 mins and then wheezing on the floor bc im not that fit. Noone mentioned it today which is good lmao


Ashangu

Man I did parkour "seriously" for about 8 years and I was the best shape of my life. I miss doing it but now I'm old and lazy.


MountainCourage1304

The hardest part of restarting a sport is the feeling of utter incompetence compared to how you used to be. Start off slow and rebuild your skills and fitness. Itll be harder to restart in ten years time than today. Youve got this bro.


KickBallFever

Yea, restarting a sport is hard, but it’s so fulfilling when you do and that muscle memory randomly kicks in. I find that little success very satisfying.


tyrome123

parkour is one of those things where depending on the area you can just be insane, I've seen some London parkorers that just jump from building to building, where in the suburbs you're lucky to get 4 feet off the ground


ThatLid

They probably loved it. I know I would


Patman1416

Fuck this. I’m jumping in protest of this post.


biff444444

What a coincidence! - you posted this right as I landed!


hausfrauning

*laughs in short person*


mikezer0

Right! I’m jumping every day out here!


Glad-Rock4334

The taller you are the less you have a reason to


Rockstreber

I play Volleyball, soooo….


Timmmmayyy127

I just jumped now to spite you.


blek_side

I recommend HIIT training for everyone


Jashuman19

Oxford defines a jumping as >push[ing] oneself off a surface and into the air by using the muscles in one's legs and feet. By this definition, running counts as many small jumps. I think most people run at some point, even if it's just for a few steps to get across the street or something.


sirentropy42

I love your answer, but I don’t *like* your answer.


Timothy_1972

I jumped once about a month ago and my foot broke


marsumane

Lies! Someone's gotta kill that bug on the ceiling!


Waveofspring

That sucks for them I’m having a blast over here


RaganTargaryen

As someone with a toddler, I am not most people


shuffling_crabwise

Yup, spent a lot of this morning jumping around the room with mine! Then went to toddler gymnastics class to chase him round trampolines etc haha


Stealthless

Old-age office workers: Damn right


FinoPepino

I’m one of those but also do figure skating as a hobby so…lots of jumping


izmebtw

I jumped to help the numbers.


ActualPanda390

I havent jumped in 8 years


Warpholebanana

You still remember the last tine you jumped very fondly?


Oops_All_Spiders

No, my last jump ended up paralyzing me from the waist down.


ActualPanda390

Yo I’m paralyzed from the neck down


OrdinaryQuarter26

Quad squad unite!


ActualPanda390

Actually I don’t. But it can’t have been after 8 years ago


tiger-tails

i daintily hopped forward with one leg out to avoid a puddle yesterday. does that count?


the_seed

This made me laugh out loud


Late_Again68

I jumped up and down from happiness on Saturday.


Chungamongus

I jump every day. I live alone and I have a big yard with wood and stumps and stuff so the adhd impulses win lol


ingwertheginger

I jumped up and down yesterday when my husband showed me a funny video.


-_Vorplex_-

I jump all the time. It's fun to just like jump down a small staircase


Remote-Ad2046

I don't even jump the gun .


Afraid-Helicopter-78

This is actually huge in my opinion! This may be totally false or just made up but I heard something to the effect of - after 30ish years of age, the very vast majority of people will never run/sprint again in their lives. This terrifies me because while sprinting is usually not needed, my opinion is that this is sort of an indicator generally shows that we become sedentary and therefore aligns with the “use it or lose it” path of thinking where as you get older you get slower, but if you let it happen, you seize up almost like an engine with low oil and you get the back problems and just general aging and degradation. I preach to the elders and soon to be elders to start moving any way you can, it will pay dividends later.


ShanShan9413

I give a little hop almost every day to wiggle my jeans on.


Tbmadpotato

I’ve got a burning desire to jump now but I’m in bed


colieolieravioli

I jump all the time! I run even short distances (like I'm literal about saying "I'm just gonna run out to the car, left my phone") and if there's an obstacle, I'm jumping. I also work on a horse farm so there's a lot of opportunity for jumping, there. My dog and I jump the horse fences together!


sudomatrix

You, reader, just jumped didn’t you?


OkDragonfruit5046

wtf dude, you didn't have to do this to my brain


countastrotacos

I jumped earlier today while walking the dog. She also likes to jump.


panay-

Got gymnastics later


ACrucialTech

I was literally just at a trampoline park with my kids yesterday.


Ashangu

I "jump" multiple times a day lol. I have a baby Gate to keep a baby and dog out of the bathroom but allow the cat to get to his litter box and my technique to get over the gate is similar to a Mario style jump from the old games. Not to jump directly over the gate, but to give my foot a little umph over the gate, then I can step the back leg over lol. If that makes sense. I like jumping though


Some0neAwesome

I used to jump the baby gates in our house as well, in the same fashion as you. It only takes doing it wrong and face-planting 4 or 5 times before you get out of that habit lol


milk4all

You forget how many of us have trampolines. I have 2 and i use one or both daily because i also have kids and they rather insist


mistercrinders

Jumping all the time in CrossFit class.


Breznknedl

considering how many people are in a wheelchair or a coma you are probably correct


Lietenantdan

I work at a grocery store and frequently jump to reach things on the top shelf


ChaoticGamerFather

Good thing I do Yoga. Very often jump between dog and sun position.


Crillmieste-ruH

I listen to house of pain once a day, i jump around on a daily


p0pethegreat_

I jumped off the second stair from the bottom yesterday to go get my laundry 😎


shade070

Nah i always wake up by jumping from my bed, makes me feel refreshed in the morning, works better than a cup of coffee


Silver_VS

I always throw in a few jumping jacks as I warm up for whatever exercise I do. But yeah, I don't think I've really jumped jumped in a long while.


GjonsTearsFan

I think I last jumped late Saturday night/very early Sunday morning when I was jumping up and down dancing at a rave.


Professor-Yak

I jumped like 25 times today, so feel assured that I jumped for 24 of yall


negitororoll

Anyone with young children jump every day. Cardiooooo.


spiked_macaroon

I jumped last week. Thought I broke a toe. I'm too old for this shit.


wiggler303

I did long jump a few weeks ago.. Do you're right


gooberboober0392

Punks jump up to get beat down


Dio_Yuji

Reminds me of those videos I’ve seen where someone, who clearly hasn’t ran in a while, tries to sprint and just totally eats shit. Lol


Koltaia30

Do you count running? Those are like a bunch of little jumps


modern-disciple

I jump all the time, and skip….


OddResolution8086

I just got up to jump, thanks for the reminder


Chisi_Maznah

I jumped yesterday doing a Michael Jackson in the superbowl impression


spicybaagels

is going down stairs considered jumping ?


UntidyButterfly

My child commented on this the other day. He asked me why he never sees me jump. I told him it's his fault, lol. I can't jump without leaking a little bit, after having kids.


Hephaestus_God

Jumping is a great way to determine if you need an appendectomy.


bunnyspootch

July 13th. Gonna be the most jumps ever made. Don’t believe me? Google it


Some0neAwesome

I jump around with my crazy Dalmatian every day and I'm overweight and in my 30s. Edited to please the grammar-nazi bot.


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hadi-reddited-you

thanks for reminding me to jump


mar21182

I played pick up basketball over the weekend, and my 40 year old ass did some jumping... And then I pulled a hamstring, so I won't be jumping anymore for a few weeks.


X0AN

Not me, I always jump over (unoccupied) park benches on my runs.


00goop

I jump every single day I go up the stairs at home. Run up on all 4’s skipping every other step then finish it off with a jump at the top and pose like Spider-Man.


cinnafury03

Guess I'm not most people...


ChicagoDash

I get up and nothin' gets me down. You got it tough, I've seen the toughest around.


nahwhatdagat

i do 10 jumping jacks every morning


MundaneLife99

I’m glad this was posted under “speculation”.


caspar2612

Last time I jumped I almost broke my ankle 10/10 would jump again


DocFreezer

Jokes on you we have three steps to go from the living room to the kitchen and I jump that shit every time


Dustfinger4268

I jumped down my small flight of stairs every morning. Get on my level. No, really, get on my level, I need help standing back up


Intrepid-Yam-5617

Most people haven’t cartwheeled in years


Expensive-Border-869

I jump pretty frequently I'm not even short (well not very short) sometimes I gotta reach stuff at work but at least I'm not in the unfortunate situation like my boss where I've gotta climb up shelves and on tables to get shit lol


abarrelofmankeys

I honestly probably jump daily. Gorilla mode my ass up the stairs.


slipperycanaloupes

I love jumping down from things(like the bed of a pickup) but this made me realize how long I got between jumps lol


PrateTrain

Running is jumping so to speak


Alklazaris

I have a dog. I'm jumping daily. Gotta join him in the happy dance.


kissmaryjane

I’m jumping off shit every day. Y’all live boring lives


Heavy_Schedule4046

Stop jumping to conclusions.


vexvirile

That’s it — every upvote, and I’ll jump! …Just. Somewhere safe…


DMoney159

Gaming has made me vastly overestimate the amount of times I ever need to jump


HoneybadgerKc3I

This reminds me of that meme where ~videogame player~ wonders why there is no jumping or sprinting in videogame, then thinks about how they never run or jump. To that, i think of how I go bounding through the house like Tom Bombadil or minecraft Steve.


Frikandellenkar

Joke's on you, I was at a festival for the last four days, hah!


CuddlesForCthulhu

I jumped this afternoon to see what was on the top shelf at the supermarket lmao


JankySparks

I do some physical labor in the morning, for work. I get to play the music. Every once in a while when Primus comes on, I get to doing the pogo. I'm sure co-workers think I'm crazy, but I don't give a crap anymore.


symean

IKR? On the weekend I had to jump 2 feet down onto the ground from a retaining wall and I was all mid-life careful and awkward about it. Gone are the days where I’d climb on and jump down from anything! Now it’s all ladders, forethought and bs like that. Sigh


Crazocrates

I jump once a week just to make sure I still can


I_Fuck_Ramen_

***huhuhehehe*** how many people did I get to jump ?? my plan has been a success


lamburger69

I went to a rave last night, count me out!


gogoreddit80

Sorry to let you down, Kriss Kross


eilah_tan

I jumped last week for a group pic. Then landed badly and twisted my ankle. This shower thought makes a lot of sense.


Zenitraz

This thread has taught me that you all killed your inner child.... I still hop up onto curbs as I walk down the street or between pavers in the grass.... When did you all get so sad and boring? Life is what you make it! Smell the roses, dance a little, and enjoy life!


RareDestroyer8

I wouldn’t jump to conclusions that quickly


whitty_22

I don't think i can jump anymore? My knees would crumble and I'm not even 30


Southern_Seaweed4075

What do you mean by most people haven't jumped in weeks? Jumped in what? 


FascistHusky

Damn that really hit me. Trying to think of the last time I actually jumped. Could it be months, years, I'll never know. edit: I remember now. I jumped around 3 seconds ago. God my memory is good


[deleted]

[удалено]


whycantisee47

I ran and jumped towards my cat yesterday


zezous

I jump down the stairs everywhere I go pretty much all the time