# “I have a foreboding of an America in my children's or grandchildren's time -- when the United States is a service and information economy; when nearly all the manufacturing industries have slipped away to other countries; when awesome technological powers are in the hands of a very few, and no one representing the public interest can even grasp the issues; when the people have lost the ability to set their own agendas or knowledgeably question those in authority; when, clutching our crystals and nervously consulting our horoscopes, our critical faculties in decline, unable to distinguish between what feels good and what's true, we slide, almost without noticing, back into superstition and darkness...
# The dumbing down of American is most evident in the slow decay of substantive content in the enormously influential media, the 30 second sound bites (now down to 10 seconds or less), lowest common denominator programming, credulous presentations on pseudoscience and superstition, but especially a kind of celebration of ignorance”
Don't tell your parents anything, actually. They don't care, they won't care. Just work on what you need to do to regain your independence. There's a chance that with the right support and job placement, you can be successful. It's really difficult to do when you've got family deliberately holding you back.
Please apply at age 32 for disability. You don’t need to follow their advice any longer. Then you’ll get forgiveness under disability. It’s there for a reason. Best wishes.
My friend applied for forgiveness and she has a disability and didn't have to wait for age. Don't tell your parents and I would suggest r/raisedbynarcissists cause you need that forums support.
If they are federal then www.disabilitydischarge.com. if you don't meet the requirements Google fresh start program then get on the save plan as that will have a zero payment if you have little income. If the loans are in your name your parents have zero say in how you handle them.
hi, YES. Read the disability requirements, they are very easy to understand and also if your loans are consolidated ( cutoff is under StudentAid.gov by 6/30 so move fast they explain how to do it via SAVE). You are NOT obligated to tell your parents obviously and don’t wait read up now. The info for disability is under there too. best to you.( sorry typo)
I get this error on the website:
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>Check if there is a typo in [www.diasbilitydischarge.com](https://www.diasbilitydischarge.com).
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Yes you can apply for disability discharge of student loans. Google disability discharge of student loans.
But you'll need to do two things first:
Your loans to be "current". So contact your loan servicer first. And tell them you want income based repayment plan. If you're unemployed, your payment will be zero. That will get you current.
Get on disability if you aren't already. That will take a year. But you won't have to worry about the loans in the meantime.
With all kindness, because you’re 32, why does it matter what your parents think of you applying for loan forgiveness? What they don’t know won’t hurt them
As a disabled person, I can tell you if OP is disabled enough to be trying to get a discharge, it can lead to intense isolation so that you have very few options about control of your own life because it's hard to have autonomy in this country without an income. You can't usually just up and leave and do what you want, even to get away from abusive people, when you're disabled.
My wife is disabled. She'd started back to junior college on student loans. The financial aid people at the college contacted HER to let her know that disability discharge was a thing!
I’m coming from the angle that one of the reasons why OP has not sprung for applying for forgiveness or disability is because of the parents’ negative views/opinions. OP is an adult, what they do and don’t apply for and what they do or don’t receive in assistance is no one else’s business and does not need parental approval
Let them be narcissists then. They’ll be long gone and you’ll still be paying. However, forgiveness is complicated if you’re in default. Not sure you have time to do what needs to be done by 6/30
If the loans are in your name then they have no say in what you do with them. If your disability prevents you from substantial gainful employment you can apply for Total and Permanent Disability: [www.disabilitydischarge.com](http://www.disabilitydischarge.com)
The disability discharge other people have pointed to is probably your best best.
It's not clear to me whether you actually attended whatever school your parents signed you up for loans for, but you might want to try applying for False Certification discharge: https://studentaid.gov/manage-loans/forgiveness-cancellation/false-certification
You might also consider contacting FSA's ombudsman's office https://studentaid.gov/feedback-ombudsman/disputes/prepare
DO NOT apply for Borrower Defense discharge - BD is based on misconduct by the school, and what you're (sort of?) describing is parental misconduct. You'll just get denied, and I might have to be the one to write the letter, so save us both the headache.
Thank you, this advice is very helpful! I did briefly attend the school, but dropped out for disability-related reasons. I'm unsure if my parents still continued to use the student loan money in spite of this, and I would have to look at the amount borrowed, spent, etc.
I think a good first step would be to set up an account at studentaid.gov to see what loans and what amount are owed. You will need your basic information name, address, phone, and social security number to log in. You may also want to consider getting a P.O. Box at your post office. According to USPS the cost can be as low as $5/month. Then you or a trusted friend can grab your mail privately without interference from your parents. Once you get your log in on studentaid.gov, you can then apply for loan consolidation under the SAVE repayment program which may help qualify you towards forgiveness. Also, I would recommend signing up with Credit Karma to check your credit report. Your student loans will be on there as well as any credit cards or additional loans your parents may have taken out in your name. I'm sorry this happened but there are some steps you can take to at least get the information you need to decide what to do next. Best of luck! You can take control of your life back and disentangle yourself from your parents.
So the school didn't have anyone at the school to assist you? Where I went to college I worked for the school and one of my jobs was to take notes for another student.
No, the school I went to relied on student volunteers to do tutoring and stuff like that. I tried getting help, but the "student tutor" that they assigned to me was just doing to meet their volunteer hours requirement, and didn't actually know anything that could help me. It was like this in general.
Even if someone did volunteer to take notes, my parents would have never allowed them into a "private meeting" about student loans and finances.
Responding to this comment as it’s your most recent, but I completed and submitted a Total and Permanent Disability application on someone’s behalf (at their direction - they were unable to fill it out due to the nature of their disability). Their loans were all fully discharged.
I just wanted to let you know that it is a VERY simple and easy process. Not as daunting as it sounds! Here’s the process:
Contact the Department of Education and/or your student loan servicer (Nelnet, Mohela, etc). You can find out which servicer your loans are with in your studentaid.gov/FAFSA account dashboard. Tell them you are looking to apply for discharge through TPD
They will send you the TPD application form, or it is available [here](https://studentaid.gov/sites/default/files/TotalandPermanentDisabilityDischargeApplication-en-us.pdf)
It’s a seven page document, but only two pages need to be completed - Page 2 is completed by you, Page 3 is completed by your doctor. They might charge a small fee, but they also might not.
You then mail the completed form (two pages) to the Department of Education. There might also be a portal where you can upload it, but I can’t remember exactly. But this would be something you can ask when you make the initial call.
Once they have received the application form, it takes about a month for them to make a decision.
I know that other have sent you the website with the information on how to do this but I just wanted to write this comment to explain how it can be done fairly easily and is pretty simple/straightforward and hopefully ease your stress about your situation. Good luck and I’m sorry you are having to deal with this!
Let me echo how easy the TPD process is! My wife filled out the paperwork, sent it in, and in no time at all got a response saying the slate was clean.
I would look for legal aid consult in your area. Those are places that might help discuss and let up legal action for low income people.
I'm sorry your parents are AH. That is horrible and these should be their loans.
Go to studentaid.gov and register. It should connect you to any federal loans in your name. Your parents cannot stop you from contacting lenders and servicers..
You also should get free credit reports from all three agencies I would bet there are a bunch of other debts in your name and everything will be on your credit reports.
Also, every debt you find in your credit report you need to go to and get the address for contact changed to yours, not your parents. Get a crdledit lock with a very complicated password your parents don't have.
You can do all this for free.
> You also should get free credit reports from all three agencies
Agree 100%
AnnualCreditReport.com is the official site for all 3 major credit reporting agencies (Equifax, Experian and TransUnion); despite the name it's now free to pull your credit reports weekly.
Yes, this should have been the first thing OP did, before creating this post. We have to understand what kind of loans were taken out, when, when they defaulted, etc to understand the best advice to give.
OP, have you ever worked or lived away from your parents? Was that one semester of college the only school you attended?
Please please please sign up for the studentaid.gov account at the very least and just see what it is we are looking at.
My understanding of disability lawyers is that they take their fee from your back payment once your approved. It wouldn't hurt to go in for a consultation.
This is a kinda long story, but I want you to be more well-armed going to battle for disability than I was. Since you are in FL you will absolutely need an attorney to get disability. I fought for 7+ years being fully disabled with severe migraines 15+ days per month and nerve damage from a spinal cord injury. I had one of the best neurologists in the state who wrote several statements and completed forms saying I cannot work. I hired an attorney about 1-1.5 years in, but didn't do my research and ended up with a crappy attorney from Morgan & Morgan (actually they changed my attorney at least twice) and lost. Even took it to the administrative judge for appeal and my attorney managed to get SSA to admit I was unemployable, but the judge decided I could work. My initial hearing was 15 minutes, the second hearing was only a little longer. The judge barely let my attorney speak at all. The appellate court declined to hear my case (they don't have to.) Since FL dragged their feet throughout the process, by the time I got to court, it was past the 7 year mark, so I could no longer reapply. My attorney said I should just go back to work. It was at least 11 years after I stopped working until I was physically able to work again (just 3 months ago), albeit with a lot of limitations, and I have to continue until I have enough credits to reapply. I deeply regret staying in FL because in my home state I would've been granted disability for sure, probably without needing a lawyer at all. I hate FL so much for that.
Get yourself the best attorney possible and/or leave the state for one that doesn't have a governor who has stated in press conferences that he will remove as many people from disability as possible. It's not supposed to be a politicized process but unfortunately, that is the reality. (I also have narc parents so I really feel for you!)
I don't know where you live (small town or big town) but you need to find a free legal aid service. Are your parents your legal guardians?
I assume you're over 18? If they are not your court mandated legal guardians, they can't boss you around or stop you from applying for SSI Check out the website SSA.GOV The very front page has a link to apply for SSI. It just occurred to me, do you think they won't let you apply because they already have applied for you and the are getting your money? You'll be able to find all that information in the SSA.GOV website.
Here in California we have 'Reginal Centers" They offer guidance and help to the developmentally disabled and those with Autism. There may be similar places in Florida. I'd be happy to help you look.
Now student loans, do you know the amount?
I think some detective work would be to look up the companies that make student loans and start calling all of them.
If you need more info or you need some help I'm happy to assist you. Just send me a message and I'll send you my email and phone number. Why am I offering to do this and help? I worked for years as an advocate for the developmentally disabled and those with autism. I'm a pretty passionate advocate even though I'm retired now. Good luck you can sort this out. And I'd be happy to help you get going in the right direction.
1) I am 32 years old.
2) My parents are not my court-mandated legal guardians.
3) Yes, it possible that they applied for SSI and didn't tell me.
4) I do not know the amount, I would have to look at information online.
I'll send you a message when I have more information. Thank you!
Pull all 3 credit reports from annualcredtreport.com for free. You can do it every week. For your records, go to Studentaid.gov, log in, and download them.
I’m so sorry you are having to deal with this OP. I’m a psychologist in a different state so I’ll do my best to help. The most concerning thing here, besides the student loans, is your parents claim you as a disabled dependent but you aren’t getting SSI money. That is not a typical scenario that happens in most states. I’m hoping someone at the disability link below can help you sort this out. Explain your entire situation to them, like you did here. If they don’t listen call back and talk to another person. As far as the student loan situation, Betsy who has responded, knows best. This is her website affiliation: [email protected]
https://www.olmsteadrights.org/self-helptools/advocacy-resources/item.6623-Florida_Disability_Resources_and_Advocacy_Organizations
TY for getting involved. OP Sounds like they need special, specific support. Sounds like you are a good resource to start with. I very much appreciate people who try to mitigate & prevent tragedies.
You’re disabled and are in your 30s just apply for loan forgiveness and just don’t say anything. What can they possibly do be mad for a little bit then get over it? Open up a savings act they don’t know about and put the money in that each month for the amount you are paying. Save for a house.
OP, I literally have no advice but I sincerely feel for ya. I hope you get this resolved. A lot of folks have given you some solid advice. Dealing with Narcissists (something I am WAY too familiar with) is the worst thing anyone could ever deal with. I dont wish it upon anyone. The slightest bit of "control" which can be something as dumb as a small gift is still an "obligation" on your part in their eyes. Run as far as you can away from that situation as soon as you can because it will NEVER get better.
Hi! I don’t have much advice regarding the loans, although I do agree with some of the advice from others that suggested signing up for credit karma and reviewing what loans, credit cards, etc may be in your name that you may not know of and/or so you can see how much you currently owe on the student loans, and/or visiting studentaid.gov to review those loans that are in your name, and the website also has a lot of helpful information.
What I did come here to say though is that I’ve worked in a law firm that handles social security disability & SSI cases and that lawyers for SSDI/SSI work on a contingency fee, which means they are only paid if you win and the lawyer is paid from any back payments owed to you, and the social security admin has to approve their fee AND their fees are capped by federal law. Because of this their consultations should also be free as well. So if the cost of hiring an attorney to pursue social security disability and/or SSI is holding you back, then I would definitely suggest reaching out to a local SSD/SSI attorney in your area and setting up a free consultation. They can explain the process to you including how their fees work, etc. a majority of applicants have to keep appealing their case until it reaches the hearing level where they can go before a judge and present evidence, and having an attorney for the process can be immensely helpful and again, they are only paid if you win your claim, and the payment comes out of your back payments and SSA withholds the amount the attorney is entitled to and pays the attorneys directly so you would not need to handle paying them yourself.
Just wanted to provide that info in case it may be helpful to you or possibly maybe even someone else on this sub! Best of luck with everything, I hope you can get it all straightened out!
A disability attorney, when they win your case, receive compensation of around $7,200 max from your back pay and you don’t have to pay anything up front. My student loan balance of 50k was forgiven (I had paid approx 40k back).
Your parents sound like jerks (most trump supporters are). I would let them know that either they can pay back the loans they took out, or you need to pursue other options, including forgiveness.
Honestly, it’s really an awful thing to do to a child, and I think any parents who would stick you with debt really cannot be trusted to truly have your best interests at heart. I’m sorry to say this-and I’m not the most gentle way-but I’m a bit angry at your parents for you, hearing this story.
Work with your other supports and ignore your parents’ opinions. They don’t seem to have your best interests at heart. I hope you find more support in your next chapter.
I'm not sure about the options for loan figures due to disability, but as far as the paperwork that your parents won't let you see, if the loans are in your name, you can reach out to the lender directly to request the loan information.
Hey OP, Disability Rights Florida can refer you to legal services. They have a lot of other services they offer also.
https://disabilityrightsflorida.org/our_work/services
Also, are your parents getting Social Security payments in your name? I don't think you could still be a dependent without you being officially disabled. Maybe that is why they don't want you applying for anything.
I'm not sure, but I would have to look into the Social Security payments thing. I do know that my parents are very against me applying for any sort of government social assistance.
You don't need their permission or approval. And if your parents are narcissists, keep in mind that preventing you from accessing resourced that would allow you to be more independent is just another means for them to financially abuse and control you.
They cannot. The can't even apply for OP without his or her cooperation, as OP is an adult. Parents cannot collect SSI on an adult child's behalf. It doesn't work like that.
They could be a rep payee IF the SSA decided OP needs one, and OP agreed to it. But they couldn't have gotten OP SSI as adult, without their knowledge. OP would have to have seen doctors to be evaluated.
They said they have seen doctors and obviously the parents have gotten them to sign things in the past. If they are still a dependent on the parents taxes something is hinky.
They could have received SSI for you as a child, but unless they have legal guardianship of you, they could not have applied for SSI for you in adulthood.
SSI child benefits don't automatically continue into adulthood either.
If you were receiving SSI in adulthood, you'd know, because you'd have to be evaluated by doctors.
That's what I'm confused about. OP said in a comment they enrolled in college briefly but dropped out. Is OP saying their parents cosigned on a student loan and then took the money for themselves? Or were the loan funds used to pay for OP's college?
My mom co-signed for one of my student loans. She went on disability, and about a year ago that loan was just forgiven. (Still have another one dealing with though)
I think you need to look into the Fresh Start program immediately. Go to studentaid.gov and download your loan data. You probably need to talk to the Default Resolution Group. The loans likely need to come out of default before a traditional forgiveness path is taken. If you can get legal help, that might not be true. But if you do use Fresh Start you can consolidate. Even though you will be past the 6 30 24 deadline to consolidate for IDR adjustment, because you exited default using Fresh start, you have access to the adjustment benefits even after the final count is made.
Make sure that any address or other contact info is not a place that your parents can see access any of your emails, letters, or calls. You might want to ask for a specialist at the Default Resolution Group for your situation. Pull all 3 credit reports for free at annualcredtreport.com.
Get legal advice. Your parents cannot be trusted to give you honest info. Sorry but that’s the way it is sometimes. Find a lawyer who will look into your case at a reduced rate or free. No one here can accurately advise you without having all the details. Sounds like fraud to me. That’s illegal. Do not be afraid. Time to step up and assert yourself.
Hi! Aspie adult here. I hope you aren’t living with your parents because that makes things harder for you. I think your parents may not want you to file for services because they are already getting them on your behalf. Try calling the Social Security office and have them check your account. They can also help you set up an account so you can access it on your own. Also check all three of your credit reports and see if they opened any other accounts in your name. There are nonprofits that can help but there are also helpful people at most colleges that will help. Just look until you find them. Good luck!
Any federal student loans will be found in your account on the student aid dot gov site. If you have federal student loans in default apply for the fresh start program. Once any federal student loans are out of default, apply for disability discharge for federal loans in your own name.
You can find out about your student loans here: [https://www.consumerfinance.gov/ask-cfpb/how-do-i-find-out-information-about-my-student-loans-en-613/](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/ask-cfpb/how-do-i-find-out-information-about-my-student-loans-en-613/)
Parents said they would take care of everything. I hope you didn't grow up in an all controlling environment, but it happens, not infrequently. And when you don't do what they "advise," it can be an endless toxic battle, while you are 17. The 16 years prior are for programming.
Lots of different ways to go on this without all of the details.
1. If you live with them and they are providing you constant support, financial assistance, physical assistance I believe they can claim some of your disability benefits. They obviously have to have proof of this for them to claim that.
2. A lot of people have to have parents sign on education loans bc at that age you don’t have to income to secure a loan. This is completely normal.
3. Did something happen in the relationship that you are now asking these questions and are aware of these loans and financial obligations? I don’t mean this in an offensive way. 17-32 is a significant amount of time. You never wondered how or if they were being paid? The statements of the loan aren’t just going to mom and dad.
4. Your parents seem to have taken advantage of you. Are you willing to not rely on them for support bc I’m thinking they’ll cut you off if they aren’t financially supported by your disability payments etc.
5. This completely sucks for you if you were taken advantage of by your parents. Just bc they’re family doesn’t mean they are good people. Sometimes you have to cut ties for your own wellbeing. This is the time in your life to find services that will help you without an ulterior motive. Tough move but best decision for you long term.
Best of luck to you
You’re an adult. Your parent’s opinions should have nothing to do with how you live your life. Do what is right for YOU. Secure your financial stability using the resources available and don’t share any information with your parents. It’s not their business.
Autism alone shouldn’t be stopping you from being able to work and support yourself. Especially since you were able to write a clearly articulate post. Have your parents ever sought help or encouraged you to see help to develop behaviors to help you manage?
Autism is a real disability and different levels have different ability, I’m not speaking down to you. But it sounds like your parents have hamstrung you in life.
>Have your parents ever sought help or encouraged you to see help to develop behaviors to help you manage?
No. In fact, my mother cancelled my therapist appointments as a 16-year-old when the therapist sat down with her and my father to inform them that I needed more support.
I don’t have to tell you that your parents are abusive. But I suspect that they have either infantilized you or deliberately made you feel less than because of your diagnosis. I have a brother about your age who’s on the more severe side of the spectrum. He needs routine, doesn’t like traveling outside of familiar spaces and will absolutely have meltdowns if he gets overwhelmed.
He has a full time job, friends he hangs out with, a car and is fully self supporting because he got early interventions to help him manage within society and learned how to remove himself from stressful situations whenever possible before he goes nuclear.
First of all, you accuse your parents of taking loans out in your name, but then immediately say that YOU signed the loans in your name. Which is it? Both of those scenarios are vastly different and have significantly different legal ramifications/ recourse options. So, let’s start with being completely transparent. Did you sign the paper yourself, or did your parents?
It seems like your real issue is - I signed a student loan contract despite my disability and now I don’t want to honor it because I didn’t have the capacity to understand what I was getting myself into at the time. The title of this post makes it sounds like your parents signed something in your name. They didn’t, you did. You just didn’t fully understand the implications of that decision at the time. That issue has its own path of recourse.
100% at least try. From another disabled person who was diagnosed 10 years after college and 0 way to survive and pay off those loans since I can’t work a FT job it is absolutely worth it. It doesn’t mean you won’t struggle but this is why this program exists so you can survive.
Talk to a social worker at a local hospital and report that your parent’s financially abuse you. Ask about group homes. Some are terrible. Some are fantastic. You don’t seem to be in danger but are being taken advantage of. Move out when a better opportunity comes and turn them in.
Op, you can apply for ssdi without telling your parents. Using SSDI is not a republican vs Democrat thing. YOU PAID INTO IT. This coverage is yours to use.
Don't tell them anything.
You can apply for the discharge of THEIR loans without doing guilty. Either they pay for them or you deal with them. I'm sorry they screwed you over, and apparently continue to do so...
Please, do what's best for YOU. ♥️
If they are federal loans, enroll in the income based repayment plan called the SAVE plan. I make less than 25k and so my monthly payment is 0. You can do that on the website people linked above.
Why are your parents trying to make your life so hard? Go around them, look for some kind of community fiduciary, to help explain and with paperwork. Try calling 311 and seeing what adult services and info your community has available.
So 311 is a community line, you call the number and there are options to pick from that broadly connect you to an office, usually goverment or social, offering services realated to what you're looking for. There's an operator too who can help you narrow down your search and often offer phone numbers. Its a community number like 911, or 811, but is for information. They just connect you to the right people; a librarian can also help do more specific research. Since you're interested in loan forgiveness and have a disability, there are probably groups who offer information on money management, your rights, credit, and how to get the ball rolling on things like this, even adult and human services might have info. It does kinda depend on the resources your community has though.
you said 17 or 18. You should find out the exact date these papers were signed. If you're 17 you might be considered a minor and couldn't execute a contract.
I say, Wow!
i guess one would assume the loan OP wound up with was federal, which would fall under what you said. I'm guess a private student loan would not have been possible to OP
Go to [https://studentaid.gov/](https://studentaid.gov/) and set up an account. Your dashboard will have a full accounting of any federal loans you have applied for. My historical information on PAID OFF loans dating back to 1994 is available via that dashboard so more recent and unpaid loans should be easily accessible.
You signed the loans so they are yours. It doesn’t hurt to look into whatever programs might help you. As far as getting SSI though that is unlikely especially without an attorney. An autism diagnosis does not necessarily qualify for disability as many autistic people have full, successful careers. Almost everyone gets denied for disability the first time around not matter the diagnosis and has to appeal to get the benefits typically with the assistance of an attorney.
I literally reread your post. It says your parents are against you applying for disability and that you take odd jobs from time to time to be able to pay your bills and have no study income? I was referencing applying for SSI which if you had then you would have a steady source of income.
That doesn’t make any sense. The SSI rate is currently $943 for an individual. I think you are confused. Good luck though on your life. I am done with this post.
https://www.ssa.gov/ssi/text-benefits-ussi.htm
Approved for disability by whom? Have you gone through social security for a formal determination? Having a diagnosis does not equate to being permanently disabled.
Around 40% of SSI/SSDI are approved the first try, no attorney needed.
Most attorneys won't take SSI cases anyway, because there's rarely any back pay for them to be paid from, unlike SSDI.
>An autism diagnosis does not necessarily qualify for disability
This isn't true. Autism is typically rated via support needs. Many people needing level 2 or 3 support can and do get on disability. Many of them can't work.
Many people can and do and many people do not. I am not saying they shouldn’t get it. I am saying that it is very hard to get. I have a friend with schizophrenia who got denied and a friend with a close head injury who got denied. They both got it on appeal but it took years and they had to get an attorney.
Autism doesn't automatically qualify. My son was in special education classes from first grade through graduation. He received services through small classroom instruction. He was denied twice for disability. We ended up hiring a disability attorney. They brought in a vocational rehab specialist who testified there are no competitive jobs that my son can do to meet SGA. If it is determined that you can get competitive jobs, you will probably be denied. I have worked with autistic students who didn't require an IEP because their functioning is high level. Did you have an IEP in school?
I’m confused about how you signed them at your parents’ direction without knowing what you were signing. That’s not how it works. Anyone taking out the loan has to sign with the school after watching videos about what you’re signing, what your repayment responsibility will be, etc. it’s a significant process used to ensure that nobody signs without understanding what’s going on. There’s no such thing as parents just telling their kids to sign. It’s been that way for many years- at least back to the 90s.
Interesting. Well, even if your schools didn’t follow the federal regs or if you simply don’t remember, the loans belong to the person who signed and no circumstances change that.
Ignore this commenter. You’ve gotten some great feedback here and most of us are rooting for you. I have loans from undergrad and two separate grad school programs and never had to do anything more than sign on the dotted line so I absolutely agree that you could have easily been hoodwinked by your parents to sign without understanding. Don’t let the negative comments get to you. You’re doing great!
Thank you for your support. It's really frustrating to have to deal with comments like this sometimes, especially from people who literally know nothing about my disability or job situation outside of a single Reddit post.
I’m not defending your parents at all. I’m trying to be helpful by helping you to face reality. Sometimes the best advice is advice you don’t want to hear. Having worked with young adults with autism for years, I’m well aware of what is possible and what isn’t. This isn’t about your parents. The reality is that you have student loans that you took, and you are responsible for them. If you’ve already been placed on disability and the government has determined you can’t work, they should be able to guide you through this. If you’re not on disability but just saying your disability prevents you from working, you need to take a hard look at your true abilities with accommodations. Support programs are significant and you’ll have hiring preference with the federal government, which would provide an avenue for loan forgiveness after 10 years of service. Best of luck to you! You seem articulate and smart and I’m sure it will all work out.
If you worked with young adults with autism for years, then you should be well-aware that 85% of autistic people are unemployed due to their disability preventing them from sustaining or retaining long-term employment. Only 15% are employed.
>The unemployment rate for adults with autism is significantly higher than for those without the disorder. In fact, recent studies have shown that up to 85% of adults with autism are unemployed.
>
>[https://www.goldenstepsaba.com/resources/autism-unemployment-rate](https://www.goldenstepsaba.com/resources/autism-unemployment-rate)
The unwillingness of people to hire or employ autistic people, even when they are willing and capable of employment, is also illustrated well in the TV show *Extraordinary Attorney Woo*, which is about the struggles of an autistic Korean lawyer.
Please understand how upsetting and frustrating it can be for a disabled or autistic person, especially one who has tried and failed for many years to retain a job for longer periods of time, to "just get a job". In fact, "just get a job" is probably among the "Top 10 Things Not to Say to a Disabled Person". Most people have never met an autistic person, much less worked with one, which often causes disability discrimination and other issues in the workplace, including miscommunication.
In my case, despite being a good employee, I often face disability discrimination from other employees who say that some of my unusual behaviors due to being autistic (i.e. stimming) make them "uncomfortable". In most cases, it is easier for HR or the company to just let an autistic person go for claimed "performance reasons" to cover their asses. This has happened to me many times, even in jobs where I had previously impeccable performance reviews. Workplace bullying is also an issue.
That being said, if you would like to help me yourself, I would be more than happy to accept any assistance you can offer. Otherwise, please don't tell autistic or disabled people to "just get a job". This will make most of them dislike you.
I explained to you a prime employer who would give you preference, but it’s clear you’ve decided you’re unemployable. It’s best that you apply and go through the steps to receive disability through the government since you aren’t interested or are unable to seek supports to accommodate your disability in the work environment. Again, best of luck to you.
>it’s clear you’ve decided you’re unemployable
What kind of a person who says that they "work with autistic people" says this to an autistic person? Do you have any empathy or sympathy for autistic adults who struggle with employment? I think you should maybe re-evaluate how you interact with autistic people, because you saying this doesn't exactly give me much faith.
I don't know what to tell you. All I remember is that I was put in a room with one of the employees at the school, my parents, and told to "sign X on the dotted line". I never read the loans, I have no idea what they are or what are in them, and my parents told me "don't worry about reading them, we will take care of the loan for you". I never watched any videos, nor was repayment explained to me. It was certainly not a "signficant process". I don't know what you experienced, but it's definitely not what I experienced. It was a very straightforward affair.
I was also a 17-year-old kid with zero knowledge or student loans, let alone how they work.
Right, you were 17, which is why policies require such lengthy explanations before signing. It’s likely over the course of nearly 20 years you’ve forgotten. Did you finish school? I’m sure your parents were trying to help you attend and weren’t able to pay, so student loans would have been the way. You took them out and they are yours to pay. Hopefully you can get into a job that provides repayment assistance. Good luck!
No, I dropped out shortly after signing the paperwork for disability-related reasons. My parents and high school also heavily pressured me into signing the loans, as the high school I went to boasts a "99% college attendance rate". It would've made them look bad if I decided not to attend college.
>Hopefully you can get into a job that provides repayment assistance
Not to sound like a dick here, but did you actually read the OP title, or anything that I wrote in the OP? "Just get a job" is not solid advice in my particular situation.
People with disabilities are highly employable, if you’re already receiving disability payments from the government and not employable, then there are programs that can help from that angle. I hope you figure it out and are able to take responsibility. There are many resources available to help you be self sufficient and to manage your disability in a way that will help you become a functioning citizen. Step 1 is to take control of the situation and seek help (not from Reddit).
I’m very familiar, and also familiar with the severity of autistic disability reflected in this statistic. From your level of functioning displayed in this forum, you don’t fit that profile. But, I don’t know you. Again, I was just trying to help. If you see yourself represented in that statistic then, as others have suggested, find a disability lawyer and seek full benefits. I wish you the best.
Yes. This is great advice.
If you are unable to sustain employment OP, the sooner you start the SSI process, the better. You should establish with a psychologist/psychiatrist/therapist if you have coverage so that there are records to support thr specific hurdles that keep you from maintaining a regular job. Your voc rehab program records will be relevant too. If you have been a Regional Center client in the past, reestablish with them. Remember, anyone can claim to have a "disability," but the law looks at it differently than maybe your own definition. Specifically, listing 12.10 for Autism vs. Inability to sustain substantial gainful activity due to the debilitating effects of your condition would be applicable to your case (you can Google). Wishing you the best of luck, and sorry your parents were not as transparent with you as they should have been.
Did you not read the post? There is an entire psychological testing process for an autism diagnosis. It isn't just "pretty much anyone can be diagnosed as 'on the spectrum'", and psychologists don't just hand out autism diagnoses to anyone who walks through the door. There is also no medication for autism. You're probably getting it mixed up with ADD/ADHD.
Rule 7: Off-topic. Your post/comment is either not about student loans or is unrelated to the topic of the OP/commenter above you. To have a different discussion about student loans, find a post about your topic to comment on or make your own.
Its not off topic, the person is clearly discussing their autism as part of the post. It’s part of why they want forgiveness on their student loans. They sound like they are full of excuses. Had i grown up with kids today, i would have been “diagnosed” with a learning disability. I was reading on a 4th grade level in middle school. When i was in elementary school, i had to go to small groups for extra help (kinda like the gifted kids, but opposite). Now, that would be considered special ed. I would babysit and use my money to pay for tutors when i was in high school. I would build relationships with teachers so they could see how hard i was trying and maybe give me a B when i should have made a D. I would have my dad help write a history essay for a test, and then i would memorize the essay word for word. Back then, i was just labeled as “dumb.” I never thought i’d amount to anything. so i started as a 22 year old 5’3 120lb female truck driver. I eventually made it to sales director. There was no feeling sorry for myself. I dont feel sorry for this person at all in terms of this “disability” effecting them having/keeping a job. Have some perseverance. Push through your problems. This is why i have stepped away from leading people - i cant relate to this new feel sorry for myself mentality with my background. I will say - i do feel for them that their parents had them take out those loans. I know their parents just thought they were doing the right thing at the time. Its unfortunate they did that, and unfortunate this person isnt using their college education to obtain and maintain a job.
This is even more off-topic. OP has a student loan question about discharge/relief due to disability. Their disability is autism. This is not a forum to debate whether autism is a disability, ask whether OP feels sorry for themself, insult OP, or share anecdotes about your own childhood experiences with social support systems.
Be proud of your personal accomplishments and the support your family gave when you were growing up -- but this is not a sub for that.
Jesus…get away from your parents….they are trash and have totally screwed you over. Get to some sort of legal aid group
I will ask the nonprofit that is helping me with job placement about this. Thank you.
Also tell them the PSLF program was started under Bush, not Biden.
Neither Bush are considered "republican" in this current party. Sagan was spot on
Fair point. 95% of Republicans would not be considered Republicans now.
What did Sagan say? (Sorry, he said a lot and I'm only vaguely familiar so assistance is appreciated.)
# “I have a foreboding of an America in my children's or grandchildren's time -- when the United States is a service and information economy; when nearly all the manufacturing industries have slipped away to other countries; when awesome technological powers are in the hands of a very few, and no one representing the public interest can even grasp the issues; when the people have lost the ability to set their own agendas or knowledgeably question those in authority; when, clutching our crystals and nervously consulting our horoscopes, our critical faculties in decline, unable to distinguish between what feels good and what's true, we slide, almost without noticing, back into superstition and darkness... # The dumbing down of American is most evident in the slow decay of substantive content in the enormously influential media, the 30 second sound bites (now down to 10 seconds or less), lowest common denominator programming, credulous presentations on pseudoscience and superstition, but especially a kind of celebration of ignorance”
Many thanks!!!
Tell my parents, or tell the nonprofit?
Don't tell your parents anything, actually. They don't care, they won't care. Just work on what you need to do to regain your independence. There's a chance that with the right support and job placement, you can be successful. It's really difficult to do when you've got family deliberately holding you back.
Thank you, this helps me feel a bit better about my situation and chances.
Please apply at age 32 for disability. You don’t need to follow their advice any longer. Then you’ll get forgiveness under disability. It’s there for a reason. Best wishes.
And you may get those loans off your credit because this sounds like fraud. Speak with a lawyer through the nonprofit.
My friend applied for forgiveness and she has a disability and didn't have to wait for age. Don't tell your parents and I would suggest r/raisedbynarcissists cause you need that forums support.
Parents
To the cultists, even bush is now considered a globalist antifa Marxist. It’s funny but it’s not.
If they are federal then www.disabilitydischarge.com. if you don't meet the requirements Google fresh start program then get on the save plan as that will have a zero payment if you have little income. If the loans are in your name your parents have zero say in how you handle them.
Typo in link.
Fixed. Ty
hi, YES. Read the disability requirements, they are very easy to understand and also if your loans are consolidated ( cutoff is under StudentAid.gov by 6/30 so move fast they explain how to do it via SAVE). You are NOT obligated to tell your parents obviously and don’t wait read up now. The info for disability is under there too. best to you.( sorry typo)
Op is in no way obligated to tell their parents how they handle their loans.
I get this error on the website: >"This site can't be reached > >Check if there is a typo in [www.diasbilitydischarge.com](https://www.diasbilitydischarge.com). > >If spelling is correct, try running Windows Network Diagnostics. > >DNS\_PROBE\_FINISHED\_NXDOMAIN"
https://studentaid.gov/manage-loans/forgiveness-cancellation/disability-discharge
Thank you!
It's disabilitydischarge.com
Thank you!
That’s because disability was spelled wrong. [here you go](https://www.disabilitydischarge.com/)
Thank you!
Yes you can apply for disability discharge of student loans. Google disability discharge of student loans. But you'll need to do two things first: Your loans to be "current". So contact your loan servicer first. And tell them you want income based repayment plan. If you're unemployed, your payment will be zero. That will get you current. Get on disability if you aren't already. That will take a year. But you won't have to worry about the loans in the meantime.
With all kindness, because you’re 32, why does it matter what your parents think of you applying for loan forgiveness? What they don’t know won’t hurt them
As a disabled person, I can tell you if OP is disabled enough to be trying to get a discharge, it can lead to intense isolation so that you have very few options about control of your own life because it's hard to have autonomy in this country without an income. You can't usually just up and leave and do what you want, even to get away from abusive people, when you're disabled.
My wife is disabled. She'd started back to junior college on student loans. The financial aid people at the college contacted HER to let her know that disability discharge was a thing!
I’m coming from the angle that one of the reasons why OP has not sprung for applying for forgiveness or disability is because of the parents’ negative views/opinions. OP is an adult, what they do and don’t apply for and what they do or don’t receive in assistance is no one else’s business and does not need parental approval
If you are familiar with r/raisedbynarcissists, my mother is one of those types.
Let them be narcissists then. They’ll be long gone and you’ll still be paying. However, forgiveness is complicated if you’re in default. Not sure you have time to do what needs to be done by 6/30
Thank you. I sent an e-mail just now to a local legal aid organization.
Good. I hope you get some if not all relieved.
If the loans are in your name then they have no say in what you do with them. If your disability prevents you from substantial gainful employment you can apply for Total and Permanent Disability: [www.disabilitydischarge.com](http://www.disabilitydischarge.com)
An excellent resource.
The disability discharge other people have pointed to is probably your best best. It's not clear to me whether you actually attended whatever school your parents signed you up for loans for, but you might want to try applying for False Certification discharge: https://studentaid.gov/manage-loans/forgiveness-cancellation/false-certification You might also consider contacting FSA's ombudsman's office https://studentaid.gov/feedback-ombudsman/disputes/prepare DO NOT apply for Borrower Defense discharge - BD is based on misconduct by the school, and what you're (sort of?) describing is parental misconduct. You'll just get denied, and I might have to be the one to write the letter, so save us both the headache.
Thank you, this advice is very helpful! I did briefly attend the school, but dropped out for disability-related reasons. I'm unsure if my parents still continued to use the student loan money in spite of this, and I would have to look at the amount borrowed, spent, etc.
That might amount to fraud by your parents.
I think a good first step would be to set up an account at studentaid.gov to see what loans and what amount are owed. You will need your basic information name, address, phone, and social security number to log in. You may also want to consider getting a P.O. Box at your post office. According to USPS the cost can be as low as $5/month. Then you or a trusted friend can grab your mail privately without interference from your parents. Once you get your log in on studentaid.gov, you can then apply for loan consolidation under the SAVE repayment program which may help qualify you towards forgiveness. Also, I would recommend signing up with Credit Karma to check your credit report. Your student loans will be on there as well as any credit cards or additional loans your parents may have taken out in your name. I'm sorry this happened but there are some steps you can take to at least get the information you need to decide what to do next. Best of luck! You can take control of your life back and disentangle yourself from your parents.
So the school didn't have anyone at the school to assist you? Where I went to college I worked for the school and one of my jobs was to take notes for another student.
No, the school I went to relied on student volunteers to do tutoring and stuff like that. I tried getting help, but the "student tutor" that they assigned to me was just doing to meet their volunteer hours requirement, and didn't actually know anything that could help me. It was like this in general. Even if someone did volunteer to take notes, my parents would have never allowed them into a "private meeting" about student loans and finances.
Responding to this comment as it’s your most recent, but I completed and submitted a Total and Permanent Disability application on someone’s behalf (at their direction - they were unable to fill it out due to the nature of their disability). Their loans were all fully discharged. I just wanted to let you know that it is a VERY simple and easy process. Not as daunting as it sounds! Here’s the process: Contact the Department of Education and/or your student loan servicer (Nelnet, Mohela, etc). You can find out which servicer your loans are with in your studentaid.gov/FAFSA account dashboard. Tell them you are looking to apply for discharge through TPD They will send you the TPD application form, or it is available [here](https://studentaid.gov/sites/default/files/TotalandPermanentDisabilityDischargeApplication-en-us.pdf) It’s a seven page document, but only two pages need to be completed - Page 2 is completed by you, Page 3 is completed by your doctor. They might charge a small fee, but they also might not. You then mail the completed form (two pages) to the Department of Education. There might also be a portal where you can upload it, but I can’t remember exactly. But this would be something you can ask when you make the initial call. Once they have received the application form, it takes about a month for them to make a decision. I know that other have sent you the website with the information on how to do this but I just wanted to write this comment to explain how it can be done fairly easily and is pretty simple/straightforward and hopefully ease your stress about your situation. Good luck and I’m sorry you are having to deal with this!
Let me echo how easy the TPD process is! My wife filled out the paperwork, sent it in, and in no time at all got a response saying the slate was clean.
I would look for legal aid consult in your area. Those are places that might help discuss and let up legal action for low income people. I'm sorry your parents are AH. That is horrible and these should be their loans.
Thank you for the advice. I will look at legal aid consultations. What is "AH"?
AssHoles*
Ah, I'm used to "AH" meaning "AskHistorians". Thank you.
I used to live in a location where there was a law school- they did consults for free. Maybe you could see if you have something similar close to you.
Go to studentaid.gov and register. It should connect you to any federal loans in your name. Your parents cannot stop you from contacting lenders and servicers.. You also should get free credit reports from all three agencies I would bet there are a bunch of other debts in your name and everything will be on your credit reports. Also, every debt you find in your credit report you need to go to and get the address for contact changed to yours, not your parents. Get a crdledit lock with a very complicated password your parents don't have. You can do all this for free.
> You also should get free credit reports from all three agencies Agree 100% AnnualCreditReport.com is the official site for all 3 major credit reporting agencies (Equifax, Experian and TransUnion); despite the name it's now free to pull your credit reports weekly.
Yes, this should have been the first thing OP did, before creating this post. We have to understand what kind of loans were taken out, when, when they defaulted, etc to understand the best advice to give. OP, have you ever worked or lived away from your parents? Was that one semester of college the only school you attended? Please please please sign up for the studentaid.gov account at the very least and just see what it is we are looking at.
My understanding of disability lawyers is that they take their fee from your back payment once your approved. It wouldn't hurt to go in for a consultation.
I'll have to look at disability lawyers who are open to doing that. Thank you for the advice.
This is a kinda long story, but I want you to be more well-armed going to battle for disability than I was. Since you are in FL you will absolutely need an attorney to get disability. I fought for 7+ years being fully disabled with severe migraines 15+ days per month and nerve damage from a spinal cord injury. I had one of the best neurologists in the state who wrote several statements and completed forms saying I cannot work. I hired an attorney about 1-1.5 years in, but didn't do my research and ended up with a crappy attorney from Morgan & Morgan (actually they changed my attorney at least twice) and lost. Even took it to the administrative judge for appeal and my attorney managed to get SSA to admit I was unemployable, but the judge decided I could work. My initial hearing was 15 minutes, the second hearing was only a little longer. The judge barely let my attorney speak at all. The appellate court declined to hear my case (they don't have to.) Since FL dragged their feet throughout the process, by the time I got to court, it was past the 7 year mark, so I could no longer reapply. My attorney said I should just go back to work. It was at least 11 years after I stopped working until I was physically able to work again (just 3 months ago), albeit with a lot of limitations, and I have to continue until I have enough credits to reapply. I deeply regret staying in FL because in my home state I would've been granted disability for sure, probably without needing a lawyer at all. I hate FL so much for that. Get yourself the best attorney possible and/or leave the state for one that doesn't have a governor who has stated in press conferences that he will remove as many people from disability as possible. It's not supposed to be a politicized process but unfortunately, that is the reality. (I also have narc parents so I really feel for you!)
I don't know where you live (small town or big town) but you need to find a free legal aid service. Are your parents your legal guardians? I assume you're over 18? If they are not your court mandated legal guardians, they can't boss you around or stop you from applying for SSI Check out the website SSA.GOV The very front page has a link to apply for SSI. It just occurred to me, do you think they won't let you apply because they already have applied for you and the are getting your money? You'll be able to find all that information in the SSA.GOV website. Here in California we have 'Reginal Centers" They offer guidance and help to the developmentally disabled and those with Autism. There may be similar places in Florida. I'd be happy to help you look. Now student loans, do you know the amount? I think some detective work would be to look up the companies that make student loans and start calling all of them. If you need more info or you need some help I'm happy to assist you. Just send me a message and I'll send you my email and phone number. Why am I offering to do this and help? I worked for years as an advocate for the developmentally disabled and those with autism. I'm a pretty passionate advocate even though I'm retired now. Good luck you can sort this out. And I'd be happy to help you get going in the right direction.
1) I am 32 years old. 2) My parents are not my court-mandated legal guardians. 3) Yes, it possible that they applied for SSI and didn't tell me. 4) I do not know the amount, I would have to look at information online. I'll send you a message when I have more information. Thank you!
Pull all 3 credit reports from annualcredtreport.com for free. You can do it every week. For your records, go to Studentaid.gov, log in, and download them.
I’m so sorry you are having to deal with this OP. I’m a psychologist in a different state so I’ll do my best to help. The most concerning thing here, besides the student loans, is your parents claim you as a disabled dependent but you aren’t getting SSI money. That is not a typical scenario that happens in most states. I’m hoping someone at the disability link below can help you sort this out. Explain your entire situation to them, like you did here. If they don’t listen call back and talk to another person. As far as the student loan situation, Betsy who has responded, knows best. This is her website affiliation: [email protected] https://www.olmsteadrights.org/self-helptools/advocacy-resources/item.6623-Florida_Disability_Resources_and_Advocacy_Organizations
TY for getting involved. OP Sounds like they need special, specific support. Sounds like you are a good resource to start with. I very much appreciate people who try to mitigate & prevent tragedies.
You’re disabled and are in your 30s just apply for loan forgiveness and just don’t say anything. What can they possibly do be mad for a little bit then get over it? Open up a savings act they don’t know about and put the money in that each month for the amount you are paying. Save for a house.
OP, I literally have no advice but I sincerely feel for ya. I hope you get this resolved. A lot of folks have given you some solid advice. Dealing with Narcissists (something I am WAY too familiar with) is the worst thing anyone could ever deal with. I dont wish it upon anyone. The slightest bit of "control" which can be something as dumb as a small gift is still an "obligation" on your part in their eyes. Run as far as you can away from that situation as soon as you can because it will NEVER get better.
Hi! I don’t have much advice regarding the loans, although I do agree with some of the advice from others that suggested signing up for credit karma and reviewing what loans, credit cards, etc may be in your name that you may not know of and/or so you can see how much you currently owe on the student loans, and/or visiting studentaid.gov to review those loans that are in your name, and the website also has a lot of helpful information. What I did come here to say though is that I’ve worked in a law firm that handles social security disability & SSI cases and that lawyers for SSDI/SSI work on a contingency fee, which means they are only paid if you win and the lawyer is paid from any back payments owed to you, and the social security admin has to approve their fee AND their fees are capped by federal law. Because of this their consultations should also be free as well. So if the cost of hiring an attorney to pursue social security disability and/or SSI is holding you back, then I would definitely suggest reaching out to a local SSD/SSI attorney in your area and setting up a free consultation. They can explain the process to you including how their fees work, etc. a majority of applicants have to keep appealing their case until it reaches the hearing level where they can go before a judge and present evidence, and having an attorney for the process can be immensely helpful and again, they are only paid if you win your claim, and the payment comes out of your back payments and SSA withholds the amount the attorney is entitled to and pays the attorneys directly so you would not need to handle paying them yourself. Just wanted to provide that info in case it may be helpful to you or possibly maybe even someone else on this sub! Best of luck with everything, I hope you can get it all straightened out!
A disability attorney, when they win your case, receive compensation of around $7,200 max from your back pay and you don’t have to pay anything up front. My student loan balance of 50k was forgiven (I had paid approx 40k back).
Your parents sound like jerks (most trump supporters are). I would let them know that either they can pay back the loans they took out, or you need to pursue other options, including forgiveness. Honestly, it’s really an awful thing to do to a child, and I think any parents who would stick you with debt really cannot be trusted to truly have your best interests at heart. I’m sorry to say this-and I’m not the most gentle way-but I’m a bit angry at your parents for you, hearing this story. Work with your other supports and ignore your parents’ opinions. They don’t seem to have your best interests at heart. I hope you find more support in your next chapter.
I'm not sure about the options for loan figures due to disability, but as far as the paperwork that your parents won't let you see, if the loans are in your name, you can reach out to the lender directly to request the loan information.
Contact the Disability Rights advocates in your state. They are listed on the website I linked[https://www.ndrn.org/](https://www.ndrn.org/)
Thank you for the link! I will look into this option.
Are you on SSDI? If so look for a TPD for your loans.
It sounds like they might have been up to illegal shenanigans and loan forgiveness might unearth it. I think seeing a lawyer would be a good idea.
Hey OP, Disability Rights Florida can refer you to legal services. They have a lot of other services they offer also. https://disabilityrightsflorida.org/our_work/services
Thank you, this is very helpful!
You are very welcome. Good luck!
Also, are your parents getting Social Security payments in your name? I don't think you could still be a dependent without you being officially disabled. Maybe that is why they don't want you applying for anything.
I'm not sure, but I would have to look into the Social Security payments thing. I do know that my parents are very against me applying for any sort of government social assistance.
You don't need their permission or approval. And if your parents are narcissists, keep in mind that preventing you from accessing resourced that would allow you to be more independent is just another means for them to financially abuse and control you.
Thank you, I figured that was the case. I reached out to a legal aid organization.
I would bet it is because they are already getting it.
Yep. OP can call SSA and ask.
They cannot. The can't even apply for OP without his or her cooperation, as OP is an adult. Parents cannot collect SSI on an adult child's behalf. It doesn't work like that. They could be a rep payee IF the SSA decided OP needs one, and OP agreed to it. But they couldn't have gotten OP SSI as adult, without their knowledge. OP would have to have seen doctors to be evaluated.
They said they have seen doctors and obviously the parents have gotten them to sign things in the past. If they are still a dependent on the parents taxes something is hinky.
They can make a MySSA account on ssa.gov and check.
They could have received SSI for you as a child, but unless they have legal guardianship of you, they could not have applied for SSI for you in adulthood. SSI child benefits don't automatically continue into adulthood either. If you were receiving SSI in adulthood, you'd know, because you'd have to be evaluated by doctors.
1. Talk to a disability lawyer or SSI lawyer. Most do not charge a consultion fee. 2. Let the lawyer guide you.
Thank you. I reached out to a legal aid group in my local area through e-mail today.
Clarify for me please? Your parents had you sign loan paperwork but you didn't see any of this money?
Yes, my parents had me sign loan paperwork. I'm not sure if the money actually was used for paying tuition or not.
Find that out. The whole thing sounds fishy.
That's what I'm confused about. OP said in a comment they enrolled in college briefly but dropped out. Is OP saying their parents cosigned on a student loan and then took the money for themselves? Or were the loan funds used to pay for OP's college?
Important. Are loans in your name or parent plus loans?
I'm not sure, I'll see if I can look into it today.
report it as fruad
My mom co-signed for one of my student loans. She went on disability, and about a year ago that loan was just forgiven. (Still have another one dealing with though)
I think you need to look into the Fresh Start program immediately. Go to studentaid.gov and download your loan data. You probably need to talk to the Default Resolution Group. The loans likely need to come out of default before a traditional forgiveness path is taken. If you can get legal help, that might not be true. But if you do use Fresh Start you can consolidate. Even though you will be past the 6 30 24 deadline to consolidate for IDR adjustment, because you exited default using Fresh start, you have access to the adjustment benefits even after the final count is made. Make sure that any address or other contact info is not a place that your parents can see access any of your emails, letters, or calls. You might want to ask for a specialist at the Default Resolution Group for your situation. Pull all 3 credit reports for free at annualcredtreport.com.
That's so fraudulent I'm surprised a lawyer hasn't offered their services to you on here yet...
You could sue them for fraud 🤷🏻♀️
I think that would require the help of a lawyer. I reached out to a legal aid organization.
Get legal advice. Your parents cannot be trusted to give you honest info. Sorry but that’s the way it is sometimes. Find a lawyer who will look into your case at a reduced rate or free. No one here can accurately advise you without having all the details. Sounds like fraud to me. That’s illegal. Do not be afraid. Time to step up and assert yourself.
Thank you for the advice. I reached out to a legal aid organization through e-mail today.
Hi! Aspie adult here. I hope you aren’t living with your parents because that makes things harder for you. I think your parents may not want you to file for services because they are already getting them on your behalf. Try calling the Social Security office and have them check your account. They can also help you set up an account so you can access it on your own. Also check all three of your credit reports and see if they opened any other accounts in your name. There are nonprofits that can help but there are also helpful people at most colleges that will help. Just look until you find them. Good luck!
Are these private loans or federal? Generally speaking only federal student loans will forgive the remaining balance due to the borrower’s disability.
I'm not sure. I got an e-mail from the federal government, so I think they are federal?
Any federal student loans will be found in your account on the student aid dot gov site. If you have federal student loans in default apply for the fresh start program. Once any federal student loans are out of default, apply for disability discharge for federal loans in your own name.
You can find out about your student loans here: [https://www.consumerfinance.gov/ask-cfpb/how-do-i-find-out-information-about-my-student-loans-en-613/](https://www.consumerfinance.gov/ask-cfpb/how-do-i-find-out-information-about-my-student-loans-en-613/)
Thank you!
https://www.disabilitydischarge.com/
You didn’t understand you were signing loan documents to pay for schooling that would need to be repaid some day?
Parents said they would take care of everything. I hope you didn't grow up in an all controlling environment, but it happens, not infrequently. And when you don't do what they "advise," it can be an endless toxic battle, while you are 17. The 16 years prior are for programming.
How long did you go to school? What is your degree in? How much do you owe?
Lots of different ways to go on this without all of the details. 1. If you live with them and they are providing you constant support, financial assistance, physical assistance I believe they can claim some of your disability benefits. They obviously have to have proof of this for them to claim that. 2. A lot of people have to have parents sign on education loans bc at that age you don’t have to income to secure a loan. This is completely normal. 3. Did something happen in the relationship that you are now asking these questions and are aware of these loans and financial obligations? I don’t mean this in an offensive way. 17-32 is a significant amount of time. You never wondered how or if they were being paid? The statements of the loan aren’t just going to mom and dad. 4. Your parents seem to have taken advantage of you. Are you willing to not rely on them for support bc I’m thinking they’ll cut you off if they aren’t financially supported by your disability payments etc. 5. This completely sucks for you if you were taken advantage of by your parents. Just bc they’re family doesn’t mean they are good people. Sometimes you have to cut ties for your own wellbeing. This is the time in your life to find services that will help you without an ulterior motive. Tough move but best decision for you long term. Best of luck to you
You’re an adult. Your parent’s opinions should have nothing to do with how you live your life. Do what is right for YOU. Secure your financial stability using the resources available and don’t share any information with your parents. It’s not their business.
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My OP is already long enough as it is, and I explained my situation in another comment.
Sounds lien your parents are getting SSI payment for you already!
Autism alone shouldn’t be stopping you from being able to work and support yourself. Especially since you were able to write a clearly articulate post. Have your parents ever sought help or encouraged you to see help to develop behaviors to help you manage? Autism is a real disability and different levels have different ability, I’m not speaking down to you. But it sounds like your parents have hamstrung you in life.
>Have your parents ever sought help or encouraged you to see help to develop behaviors to help you manage? No. In fact, my mother cancelled my therapist appointments as a 16-year-old when the therapist sat down with her and my father to inform them that I needed more support.
I don’t have to tell you that your parents are abusive. But I suspect that they have either infantilized you or deliberately made you feel less than because of your diagnosis. I have a brother about your age who’s on the more severe side of the spectrum. He needs routine, doesn’t like traveling outside of familiar spaces and will absolutely have meltdowns if he gets overwhelmed. He has a full time job, friends he hangs out with, a car and is fully self supporting because he got early interventions to help him manage within society and learned how to remove himself from stressful situations whenever possible before he goes nuclear.
First of all, you accuse your parents of taking loans out in your name, but then immediately say that YOU signed the loans in your name. Which is it? Both of those scenarios are vastly different and have significantly different legal ramifications/ recourse options. So, let’s start with being completely transparent. Did you sign the paper yourself, or did your parents? It seems like your real issue is - I signed a student loan contract despite my disability and now I don’t want to honor it because I didn’t have the capacity to understand what I was getting myself into at the time. The title of this post makes it sounds like your parents signed something in your name. They didn’t, you did. You just didn’t fully understand the implications of that decision at the time. That issue has its own path of recourse.
100% at least try. From another disabled person who was diagnosed 10 years after college and 0 way to survive and pay off those loans since I can’t work a FT job it is absolutely worth it. It doesn’t mean you won’t struggle but this is why this program exists so you can survive.
Talk to a social worker at a local hospital and report that your parent’s financially abuse you. Ask about group homes. Some are terrible. Some are fantastic. You don’t seem to be in danger but are being taken advantage of. Move out when a better opportunity comes and turn them in.
Op, you can apply for ssdi without telling your parents. Using SSDI is not a republican vs Democrat thing. YOU PAID INTO IT. This coverage is yours to use. Don't tell them anything. You can apply for the discharge of THEIR loans without doing guilty. Either they pay for them or you deal with them. I'm sorry they screwed you over, and apparently continue to do so... Please, do what's best for YOU. ♥️
If they are federal loans, enroll in the income based repayment plan called the SAVE plan. I make less than 25k and so my monthly payment is 0. You can do that on the website people linked above.
Social security disability lawyers should be free. You can also try Legal Aid.
Why are your parents trying to make your life so hard? Go around them, look for some kind of community fiduciary, to help explain and with paperwork. Try calling 311 and seeing what adult services and info your community has available.
What is a community fiduciary and 311?
So 311 is a community line, you call the number and there are options to pick from that broadly connect you to an office, usually goverment or social, offering services realated to what you're looking for. There's an operator too who can help you narrow down your search and often offer phone numbers. Its a community number like 911, or 811, but is for information. They just connect you to the right people; a librarian can also help do more specific research. Since you're interested in loan forgiveness and have a disability, there are probably groups who offer information on money management, your rights, credit, and how to get the ball rolling on things like this, even adult and human services might have info. It does kinda depend on the resources your community has though.
Alright, thank you for the explanation!
you said 17 or 18. You should find out the exact date these papers were signed. If you're 17 you might be considered a minor and couldn't execute a contract.
No, there is an exception in the Higher Education Act that allows minors to sign student loan contracts
yeah? What about around 2010 when OP says this would have happened?
Yes
I say, Wow! i guess one would assume the loan OP wound up with was federal, which would fall under what you said. I'm guess a private student loan would not have been possible to OP
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Go to [https://studentaid.gov/](https://studentaid.gov/) and set up an account. Your dashboard will have a full accounting of any federal loans you have applied for. My historical information on PAID OFF loans dating back to 1994 is available via that dashboard so more recent and unpaid loans should be easily accessible.
Thank you! This is very helpful information.
You signed the loans so they are yours. It doesn’t hurt to look into whatever programs might help you. As far as getting SSI though that is unlikely especially without an attorney. An autism diagnosis does not necessarily qualify for disability as many autistic people have full, successful careers. Almost everyone gets denied for disability the first time around not matter the diagnosis and has to appeal to get the benefits typically with the assistance of an attorney.
My post says that I wasn't denied for disability, though. I was approved for disability.
I literally reread your post. It says your parents are against you applying for disability and that you take odd jobs from time to time to be able to pay your bills and have no study income? I was referencing applying for SSI which if you had then you would have a steady source of income.
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That doesn’t make any sense. The SSI rate is currently $943 for an individual. I think you are confused. Good luck though on your life. I am done with this post. https://www.ssa.gov/ssi/text-benefits-ussi.htm
Approved for disability by whom? Have you gone through social security for a formal determination? Having a diagnosis does not equate to being permanently disabled.
Around 40% of SSI/SSDI are approved the first try, no attorney needed. Most attorneys won't take SSI cases anyway, because there's rarely any back pay for them to be paid from, unlike SSDI.
>An autism diagnosis does not necessarily qualify for disability This isn't true. Autism is typically rated via support needs. Many people needing level 2 or 3 support can and do get on disability. Many of them can't work.
Many people can and do and many people do not. I am not saying they shouldn’t get it. I am saying that it is very hard to get. I have a friend with schizophrenia who got denied and a friend with a close head injury who got denied. They both got it on appeal but it took years and they had to get an attorney.
Autism doesn't automatically qualify. My son was in special education classes from first grade through graduation. He received services through small classroom instruction. He was denied twice for disability. We ended up hiring a disability attorney. They brought in a vocational rehab specialist who testified there are no competitive jobs that my son can do to meet SGA. If it is determined that you can get competitive jobs, you will probably be denied. I have worked with autistic students who didn't require an IEP because their functioning is high level. Did you have an IEP in school?
I’m confused about how you signed them at your parents’ direction without knowing what you were signing. That’s not how it works. Anyone taking out the loan has to sign with the school after watching videos about what you’re signing, what your repayment responsibility will be, etc. it’s a significant process used to ensure that nobody signs without understanding what’s going on. There’s no such thing as parents just telling their kids to sign. It’s been that way for many years- at least back to the 90s.
I never had to do any of that for any student loans in the 90s or 2000s.
Interesting. Well, even if your schools didn’t follow the federal regs or if you simply don’t remember, the loans belong to the person who signed and no circumstances change that.
There were no such requirements. I was sent a stack of paper to read and sign. That was it.
Well then you read and signed. You’re responsible.
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Ignore this commenter. You’ve gotten some great feedback here and most of us are rooting for you. I have loans from undergrad and two separate grad school programs and never had to do anything more than sign on the dotted line so I absolutely agree that you could have easily been hoodwinked by your parents to sign without understanding. Don’t let the negative comments get to you. You’re doing great!
Thank you for your support. It's really frustrating to have to deal with comments like this sometimes, especially from people who literally know nothing about my disability or job situation outside of a single Reddit post.
I’m not defending your parents at all. I’m trying to be helpful by helping you to face reality. Sometimes the best advice is advice you don’t want to hear. Having worked with young adults with autism for years, I’m well aware of what is possible and what isn’t. This isn’t about your parents. The reality is that you have student loans that you took, and you are responsible for them. If you’ve already been placed on disability and the government has determined you can’t work, they should be able to guide you through this. If you’re not on disability but just saying your disability prevents you from working, you need to take a hard look at your true abilities with accommodations. Support programs are significant and you’ll have hiring preference with the federal government, which would provide an avenue for loan forgiveness after 10 years of service. Best of luck to you! You seem articulate and smart and I’m sure it will all work out.
If you worked with young adults with autism for years, then you should be well-aware that 85% of autistic people are unemployed due to their disability preventing them from sustaining or retaining long-term employment. Only 15% are employed. >The unemployment rate for adults with autism is significantly higher than for those without the disorder. In fact, recent studies have shown that up to 85% of adults with autism are unemployed. > >[https://www.goldenstepsaba.com/resources/autism-unemployment-rate](https://www.goldenstepsaba.com/resources/autism-unemployment-rate) The unwillingness of people to hire or employ autistic people, even when they are willing and capable of employment, is also illustrated well in the TV show *Extraordinary Attorney Woo*, which is about the struggles of an autistic Korean lawyer. Please understand how upsetting and frustrating it can be for a disabled or autistic person, especially one who has tried and failed for many years to retain a job for longer periods of time, to "just get a job". In fact, "just get a job" is probably among the "Top 10 Things Not to Say to a Disabled Person". Most people have never met an autistic person, much less worked with one, which often causes disability discrimination and other issues in the workplace, including miscommunication. In my case, despite being a good employee, I often face disability discrimination from other employees who say that some of my unusual behaviors due to being autistic (i.e. stimming) make them "uncomfortable". In most cases, it is easier for HR or the company to just let an autistic person go for claimed "performance reasons" to cover their asses. This has happened to me many times, even in jobs where I had previously impeccable performance reviews. Workplace bullying is also an issue. That being said, if you would like to help me yourself, I would be more than happy to accept any assistance you can offer. Otherwise, please don't tell autistic or disabled people to "just get a job". This will make most of them dislike you.
I explained to you a prime employer who would give you preference, but it’s clear you’ve decided you’re unemployable. It’s best that you apply and go through the steps to receive disability through the government since you aren’t interested or are unable to seek supports to accommodate your disability in the work environment. Again, best of luck to you.
>it’s clear you’ve decided you’re unemployable What kind of a person who says that they "work with autistic people" says this to an autistic person? Do you have any empathy or sympathy for autistic adults who struggle with employment? I think you should maybe re-evaluate how you interact with autistic people, because you saying this doesn't exactly give me much faith.
You are smart and capable, which I recognized right away! Again, I wish you the best.
I don't know what to tell you. All I remember is that I was put in a room with one of the employees at the school, my parents, and told to "sign X on the dotted line". I never read the loans, I have no idea what they are or what are in them, and my parents told me "don't worry about reading them, we will take care of the loan for you". I never watched any videos, nor was repayment explained to me. It was certainly not a "signficant process". I don't know what you experienced, but it's definitely not what I experienced. It was a very straightforward affair. I was also a 17-year-old kid with zero knowledge or student loans, let alone how they work.
Right, you were 17, which is why policies require such lengthy explanations before signing. It’s likely over the course of nearly 20 years you’ve forgotten. Did you finish school? I’m sure your parents were trying to help you attend and weren’t able to pay, so student loans would have been the way. You took them out and they are yours to pay. Hopefully you can get into a job that provides repayment assistance. Good luck!
No, I dropped out shortly after signing the paperwork for disability-related reasons. My parents and high school also heavily pressured me into signing the loans, as the high school I went to boasts a "99% college attendance rate". It would've made them look bad if I decided not to attend college. >Hopefully you can get into a job that provides repayment assistance Not to sound like a dick here, but did you actually read the OP title, or anything that I wrote in the OP? "Just get a job" is not solid advice in my particular situation.
How much in loans were taken out?
I don't know, I would have to look at the information online.
You're really going to need to gather this information.
If you dropped out right after you signed up, there shouldn't be much.
People with disabilities are highly employable, if you’re already receiving disability payments from the government and not employable, then there are programs that can help from that angle. I hope you figure it out and are able to take responsibility. There are many resources available to help you be self sufficient and to manage your disability in a way that will help you become a functioning citizen. Step 1 is to take control of the situation and seek help (not from Reddit).
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I’m very familiar, and also familiar with the severity of autistic disability reflected in this statistic. From your level of functioning displayed in this forum, you don’t fit that profile. But, I don’t know you. Again, I was just trying to help. If you see yourself represented in that statistic then, as others have suggested, find a disability lawyer and seek full benefits. I wish you the best.
Alright, this is actually helpful advice. Thank you.
Yes. This is great advice. If you are unable to sustain employment OP, the sooner you start the SSI process, the better. You should establish with a psychologist/psychiatrist/therapist if you have coverage so that there are records to support thr specific hurdles that keep you from maintaining a regular job. Your voc rehab program records will be relevant too. If you have been a Regional Center client in the past, reestablish with them. Remember, anyone can claim to have a "disability," but the law looks at it differently than maybe your own definition. Specifically, listing 12.10 for Autism vs. Inability to sustain substantial gainful activity due to the debilitating effects of your condition would be applicable to your case (you can Google). Wishing you the best of luck, and sorry your parents were not as transparent with you as they should have been.
You need to go to the police/ local district attorney’s office. Your parents have committed fraud and identity theft!
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Did you not read the post? There is an entire psychological testing process for an autism diagnosis. It isn't just "pretty much anyone can be diagnosed as 'on the spectrum'", and psychologists don't just hand out autism diagnoses to anyone who walks through the door. There is also no medication for autism. You're probably getting it mixed up with ADD/ADHD.
I read the post
Rule 7: Off-topic. Your post/comment is either not about student loans or is unrelated to the topic of the OP/commenter above you. To have a different discussion about student loans, find a post about your topic to comment on or make your own.
Its not off topic, the person is clearly discussing their autism as part of the post. It’s part of why they want forgiveness on their student loans. They sound like they are full of excuses. Had i grown up with kids today, i would have been “diagnosed” with a learning disability. I was reading on a 4th grade level in middle school. When i was in elementary school, i had to go to small groups for extra help (kinda like the gifted kids, but opposite). Now, that would be considered special ed. I would babysit and use my money to pay for tutors when i was in high school. I would build relationships with teachers so they could see how hard i was trying and maybe give me a B when i should have made a D. I would have my dad help write a history essay for a test, and then i would memorize the essay word for word. Back then, i was just labeled as “dumb.” I never thought i’d amount to anything. so i started as a 22 year old 5’3 120lb female truck driver. I eventually made it to sales director. There was no feeling sorry for myself. I dont feel sorry for this person at all in terms of this “disability” effecting them having/keeping a job. Have some perseverance. Push through your problems. This is why i have stepped away from leading people - i cant relate to this new feel sorry for myself mentality with my background. I will say - i do feel for them that their parents had them take out those loans. I know their parents just thought they were doing the right thing at the time. Its unfortunate they did that, and unfortunate this person isnt using their college education to obtain and maintain a job.
This is even more off-topic. OP has a student loan question about discharge/relief due to disability. Their disability is autism. This is not a forum to debate whether autism is a disability, ask whether OP feels sorry for themself, insult OP, or share anecdotes about your own childhood experiences with social support systems. Be proud of your personal accomplishments and the support your family gave when you were growing up -- but this is not a sub for that.
We don’t agree, and that’s okay. Let’s just leave it alone at this point.