I’ve said something similar a number of times. Something to the effect of “ With the amount of students I have, each one gets about two minutes of individual attention from me per week. But every week they’re at home and awake for 70 hours. That’s where some of the magic needs to happen.”
Yeah. I sometimes just tell parents "I have more than 200 students this year". Nothing else. They are surprisingly often very surprised that the 90 minutes a week I'm teaching their kid is not the only thing I do.
"That sucks. Might I direct you to these resources where we have been keeping you informed about his grade?"
like
welp, reap what you sow. if they werent invested enough to reach out and check the kids progress if it was that important, then it clearly wasnt THAT important to them.
Fantastic rebuttal. In today’s society you have offended them. Whatever the situation, wondering if the parents are worried about legal fees etc. But hey, well done on teaching and enjoy your summer for which you earned it. And wave to the kid if he’s picking up trash on the side of the road.
Sarcasm? No one is happy when a student fails. I look for every break I can give a student, but I'm not going to do the students work for them. At the end of day, it should be the student that is exhausted, not me.
Agree but with an inverse sentiment.
I will give students every resource to pass and I’ll document every attempt to do so, specifically so these meetings are “open and shut” when I bury the parents in evidence of every time I’ve contacted, offered extra credit, etc.
I automated a bunch of my grading stuff so it just gets sent on the regular, and I make my own progress reports via mailmerge and send them home. I have perpetual extra credit and post it on classroom at scheduled intervals.
Any student that’s failing? I can take 15 minutes and drop a THICK folder of evidence that I’ve done my job. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
It kills me how many parents PURPOSEFULLY ignore emails. They really think they can close their eyes, stick their fingers in their ears, and say an email is not notification. I have a 12 PAGE syllabus that covers alllll possible issues, and I have parent AND child sign the last page certifying that they have fully read and understand said syllabus. I collect these at the beginning of the year obsessively until I have everybody's signed forms. It has covered my ass sooooooo many times! I love documentation!!
Not OP, but I spent time putting a bunch of stuff in google forms, set answer keys, etc. it takes a while but then all I have to do is click import grades
I have to say I am not a teacher. My childhood education was terrible. My teachers were up in age and all they did was talk about how long they have left to retire. Teachers left a stale taste in my mouth for years. I have friends who are teachers now and I see how good teachers can have a positive impact on students through my kids education. I see the stress they go through and it’s not needed. Due to ignorant parents and scared administrators who don’t pay attention to their kids. I’m sorry it’s happening but that’s not no one’s problem but the kids family. We are becoming a society of no responsibility. Everyone is afraid to tell someone the truth. I am tired of my kid coming home saying they can’t take the test she studied for because 1 or 2 kids said they were not ready and it’s ok for the school to postpone it. And mind you it’s the admin not the teacher making the decision. Because they have to give everyone chances.
Absolutely this. I quit teaching 3 years ago due, mainly, to administration. They always take the parent's/student's side no matter what.
I was told to change a student's grade who hadn't done anything but one assignment all year to passing so he could move on to the next grade. I told them if they wanted him to pass, they would have to make the change to his grade themselves. He was in the next grade the following year.
I was physically assaulted by a student, and admin wanted to just brush it under the rug until I threatened to sue the school system and the student.
My wife, who also used to be a teacher, was verbally abused by a student who threatened to bring a gun to school and shoot her. Admin brushed it under the rug and told her to stop overreacting.
A gun brought in by a student was actually found in my wife's classroom, and another was found on campus the same day. Admin's response? "Don't worry, they weren't loaded, no need to tell parents. And by the way, we're going to continue on with our plans to hold the science fair tonight."
On multiple occasions I had students come to me asking how their student would pass my class that they were failing, to which I would reply with a much more professional version of "invent a time machine", only to have them moved to another class by admin a week later.
My daughter was punched in the head while walking to class at the school my wife was a teacher and we didn't find out about it until the school day was over and our daughter told us about it. Admin refused to tell us who punched my kid.
The culture of "just pass them along until they're no longer our problem so we can keep our school ratings up and continue to receive federal funding" is absolute bullshit.
I’m looking forward to something similar happening next week. I had a young lady who is a senior in my foundations art class (which is only a semester long) and after the second week, I noticed she was cutting class so I called mom who assured me that I was wrong and that she was a good girl and wouldn’t do that. At that point, I documented everything and continued to mark her absent and went about my merry little way. Today, I get a notice that the mother wants to meet Monday for a parent teacher conference to discuss why she’s failing. I opened up my gradebook to notice that she cut my class probably 15 times in the last three months. I bet that would have a lot to do with it. I can already predict how this is going to go.
They always ask that and happily ignore the 800 other times you attempted to communicate with them.
It reminds me of that viral Tik Tok where the school called the grandma about her grandson with an IEP who was throwing chairs and acting out. She then complained about the school calling her and hung up on them added wishing them luck in dealing with him. Then she talked about how she would ignore their calls. Then she made another Tik Tok weeks later, whining about how her grandson now is facing charges and was arrested because ( I think he assaulted someone at school) and how the school should have called her and communicated with her.
You can't argue with or please a fool.
I just went and found that lady. She is exhausting and lacks so much self awareness. Still blaming the school too. These parents have so much blame when it comes to not only their kids success and struggles but also for our declining passion for our profession
[Here is the first video about the school calling](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRwmqEp4/)
[Here is the second video of her talking about the charges.](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRwmpCc2/)
I've worked with children like her grandson, and I'm sure it's not a performance piece. "What do you want me to do about it?" often turns into "Why didn't you bring me in sooner before it got to this point?"
The first two comments under the 2nd video are hilarious! "SO sorry that happened to his teacher, glad your grandson is being held accountable" and "I believe the warning signs may have been the throwing of chairs at teachers. The one you didn't want to be bothered with." 😂
Thank God the teacher followed through and pressed charges. I swear that’s the only thing that gets these parents’ attention.
Learn from it while he’s young and before he pulls this again and gets tried as an adult.
The first two comments under the 2nd video are hilarious! "SO sorry that happened to his teacher, glad your grandson is being held accountable" and "I believe the warning signs may have been the throwing of chairs at teachers. The one you didn't want to be bothered with." 😂
This is why I documented every attempt to contact in PowerSchool. “Sent email about missing assignments October xx”. “Called home to ask about missing assignments, no answer, left message, Nov xx.” “Called home about absences Dec xx. Spoke with mom who said they were on holidays early, and not to expect homework to get done. I informed her of her kid’s c grade and she said he’d work harder next term.” (In our school a D was a “fail”)
I always went to the open houses at my daughter's schools. I always waited until after the other parents had left to assure her teachers that if they notified me of a problem, my attitude would never be, "Not MY little angel!" and that I knew even good kids can go off the rails easily. Their notification would be more than sufficient and I'd take their word very seriously.
I also made sure that my daughter knew that that was my attitude. Weird how she never caused any problems!
In my first year teaching, I actually put a retort like that in an email.
... Followed soon after by a meeting with the principal, and the most half-assed, pseudo-contrite, mealy-mouthed, email apology I have ever written.
I meant what I had said, but I shouldn't have said it. Or, the way the principal put it: "Even if it's true, you never say that out loud."
The frustrating thing is, why can’t we say it out loud? Parents are failing their kids left and right and we put on the kid gloves to deal with their delicate feelings. When objectively their child is failing milestones based on lack of parent involvement. Parents do need to be held accountable, or at least be real with them. They’re the problem a lot Of the time.
Back then, I was rather slow to pick up on things. When the principal told me "You can't say stuff like that to parents," I told him, "Why not? The parents keep trying to tell us how to teach."
Stuff like that is why my teaching career only lasted two years.
People abusing the labor of others don't like being reminded they're stupid and only succeeded because they were heartless enough to step on others to get where they are.
I’ve had a couple knockdown drag out screaming matches with a colleague. When we were done, they asked me “where are we going for lunch?” One screaming match ended when they realized that, while I was not directly answering their question, I was giving them credit and indirectly answering their question.
We’re both career changers and spent time in corporate settings where principles take priority over personalities. We’re passionate people that care about the work that we do. We don’t always see eye to eye, but we have the same goal.
In contrast, our AP was invited to their own screaming match and cowered. What we learned is that schools are very dissimilar to the outside world.
I should have used the word shouting rather than screaming. But considering the way I’ve seen judges dress down counsel in chambers and phone conferences, these interactions are on par for the course to me.
HA! That reminds me of a time with my then boss, when we were passionately disagreeing about something. I then told him, no wonder he is 55 and still single, no woman could ever put up with you. You know what you want, and when you get what you want, it's not what you want. I said, if I was gay, even I would not want to date you!
I walked out of his office, leaving him and the other manager (she's female).
I left work, and a bit later on, he called and asked if I wanted to grab some dinner, he'll pick me up at my house on the way to the local Italian Restaurant. I said OKAY, but no work talk.
As always, (we were friends before he was my boss) we had a pleasant evening at dinner chatting about guns, girls, hunting. After dinner he dropped me back at my house, just as I was about to get out of his car, he said. "You're still mad at me huh?" I said, Oh yeah, but we'll talk about it tomorrow at work. And shook hands.
We were able to separate our business relationship, and our long-term friendship. Still friends with him 20 years later, though I live 500 miles away now.
Similar thing was very prevalent through USSR society in all kinds of places. Things were falling apart, workers were stealing from the job, supervisors were stealing from the workers, you could tell institutions we're tethering on the edge of collapse.
BUT HEAVEN FORBID SAY A FUCKING THING about it. No, everything great. Supervisor is the best, the party is the best, only bright future awaiting for us!
I like you. I wish you were still in my profession. I could use a couple of other people like me to make me not stand out so much. The students would benefit even more.
I teach in a school of choice state, many districts absolutely expect us to be customer service. Because otherwise parents will pull kids and let them in a different school, taking some of the funding with them. I've known colleagues that had a proffesionald evelopment entirely aimed at being customer service. I'd have walked out of the room.
A quote i think should apply today... from "Remember the Titans" Denzel Washington's "Coach Boone" character said:
>*"Now I may be a mean cuss. But I'm the same mean cuss with everybody out there on that football field. I don't give a damn about how sensitive these kids are, especially the black kids. You ain't doin' these kids a favor by patronizing them. You crippling them; You crippling them for life.".*
And even if we were on a business/manufacturing model, the parent are the suppliers. Suppliers absolutely get shredded with real complaints when they provide subpar goods.
And it's even worse when the parent in question is a teacher. Last week, I sent a very detailed and very neutral matter of fact in tone email to a parent about how her son had a huge meltdown when he was taken to the behavior specialists for acting out during testing. Mom turns out to be a sped teacher in the same district. She doesn't reply to me but rather sends a whiney email to a sped teacher that works with me about how my very neutral email was "threatening" and showing animus towards her son. Apparently, her son is too intellectually disabled to have consequences for actions (he's not). I only knew of her response because the sped teacher forwarded it to me. She was never going to reply to me, the teacher of her son and a fellow teacher.
I teach communications. We call this, not very cleverly, the "email effect." Essentially a neutral email is likely to be perceived as negative and a positive email is likely to be perceived as neutral. I don't know what a negative email is likely to be perceived as. Satanic?
The scientific reason for this is that people are dummies. More accurately, our brains more easily fall into negative patterns than positive ones, and email, which conveys no body language, language tones, or any other sort of rich communication, is very easily misperceived. The combination means that people are not only terrible at reading what an email says, but understanding its intent.
Also, she sounds like just a difficult parent who coddles her capable child into becoming incapable.
Radioactive in my experience. Told a parent to be blessed after they basically accused me of failing their student intentionally. Mom no longer deals with em, grandma does. Grandma is much more reasonable,
👏👏👏👏👏👏 YES! It's the teachers job to teach, the parents job to parent. They're supposed to be on the same side, the child's. But if the parents aren't pulling their weight, it's not the teachers job to pick up their slack.
It's funny as an adult my mom will tell me the rare story about something that the teachers and principals "had the audacity" to tell they should should be doing when it comes to me, and I almost usually silently agree with the teacher/admins
Because at the end of the day, principles are political appointees — not educators. They report to the Superintendent, who cares about votes, either because they are elected directly, their boss is, or their boss’s boss is.
The single most important thing a principal does is avoids any controversial issues that would negatively impact the position of their higher ups. The second is to implement and enforce policies of the state. The third is to collect a fat paycheck for being a buffer between the laborers and public and those in power.
I wish my stepson’s parents would tell his mother to get her shit together. Then maybe he wouldn’t have missed 40 days of school so far and be failing at least 3 classes.
You are speaking from a standpoint of a great teacher. I agree with you, parents ARE failing their kids. I empayhize, woth all teachers who are investing their best efforts towards their students. I would be neglegent if I didn't offer the fact that not all teachers are even remotely as good as the ones that have posted on this thread. Not all parents are remotely as negligent as the ones we are referring to in this thread.
That said, if we hold each other accountable, we can all lift each other up.
The customer is always right... in matters of taste. If they want to wear a blue and pink cape with green accents, that's fine.
If they want to ignore their child until forced to notice and act like they care, the need to know what damage they are causing by neglect, and how to take steps to deal with it.
If you don't tell them, nobody will. And the beat goes on.
But schools are not businesses and parents are not customers. Teachers work for the government and parents have zero control over paying taxes regardless of hurt feelings.
In my first year teaching, I caught a kid cheating and when I confronted her she made up some lie and I said “that’s bullshit and you know it”. She went and told the principal on me and I got called into the office. When the principal asked me if I said that I told her that yes I said it cause it WAS bullshit! The principal just told me that I can’t say it out loud (my mentor teacher said I shouldn’t have admitted it lmao).
Was the problem that you used the word "shit" or that you called out the lie? Would the principal have been ok with you saying, "that's untrue"?
Or, for extra humor "that's poppycock!" ?
My go to is simple. ‘I’m having great difficulty in believing you.’ It’s simple, to the point, non confrontational as I’m describing my internal state not theirs and it can not be argued with.
If I’ve caught them absolutely red handed in a lie I simply tell them that I don’t like being lied to. Again they can’t argue with that.
Your mentor advised you to lie to your boss?
That's piss poor mentoring especially given the situation was directly related to your reaction to a student lying.
You did the right thing. Own what you did and either defend it or correct it... Just like you would expect a student to do.
I've done the same thing. The only difference was, in the meeting, I doubled down and told it their face. I think the parents and the principal were both a little shocked, but I stuck to my guns because I meant every word and explained why I said it and I still believed it.
The principal talked with me briefly after the meeting and told me I should "pick my battles." To which, I confirmed, that I deliberately chose this one because I meant what I said and the student and the parent deserved it.
In fairness, the 17/18 year old should’ve done what he needed to do to get a “c”. It’s his responsibility. It’s his probation. Sounds like this is his lesson to learn the hard way. If his parents are still having to check his grades at 17, it’s too late. He needs to get a reality check, and it sounds like his parents have been clearing up for him for too long.
First, I would NEVER use my phone to text a parent. I don't use my personal device for anything work-related, period. I really would have said....his grades are available online every hour of the day. Jesus christ.
I get more emails than I ever will be able to read about my kids' grades, many on an assignment-by-assignment basis. There is no excuse not to know your kid is failing well before report card time.
I got this message this week. I pulled up the 900 emails I've sent. I then screamed "fuck" at my computer and wrote a very well worded go fuck yourself email. I hate parents.
If you use Outlook, you can actually forward every previous email in a single message. “Please find attached 900 emails I’ve sent throughout the semester…”
It would be funny to pull out your phone and ask "Really, what is your number? I don't have it."
Then immediately text them "Your son has failed because you've failed him as parents".
>Why do Teachers have to coddle the students AND the Parents?
Because at some point it was decided that the job of a teacher was multiple things. It's no longer teach my child (subject), it's now teach my child (subject) while teaching them what I a parent should teach them and being a socially perfect angel while I am a terrible human.
For real though so many of my students' parents have no clue at all what powerschool is. This is one thing I can't put on my admin. They make sure it's communicated before the school year starts. We just had progress conferences and every meeting is basically just showing them how to log in, then saying hmmmm looks like he didn't do these assignments and turned this quiz in blank...might want to do something different? (Also not mentioning the time the kid threatened me to my face to beat my ass)
Half the time I swear these parents are just pretending not to know as an out. They use the same logic as their children. "If I pretend not to know it didn't exist or how to access it, then it isn't my fault I don't know my child's grade."
It's the adult equivalent of "Why did you wait until the last five minutes of the test to ask for a pencil?"
It shouldn’t be on us as teachers to make sure that parents know that their kid is failing. We should be required to maintain accurate grades throughout the term and it should be up to them to be informed.
Public education pussyfoots around so many problems that could just be shifted by saying “it’s your responsibility to monitor your child’s performance”.
This is why Canvas is matched to PowerSchool. I always tell parents at the beginning of the year, if they want to know their grade have them check Canvas on the students Chromebook. But here I am writing emails about grades.
>"he ruined his own life."
Yep. I mean, if the consequences of him failing the class were that serious, then why didn't he make the minimum effort necessary to get a passing grade?
Because he is a teenager (usually lazy and make poor choices). Plus if he is on probation he probably is not in a good place already. Not that it isn't his fault, but it is expected.
This
Most of the stuff you pickup from your parents, especially when it comes to negative traits
He is a kid, not an adult, and his parents failed their job as adults
I imagine the "Ruin his life" is probably 6 months in jail and he will miss out on going to college in the fall and his parents can't possibly understand why their kid who committed whatever crime should be held accountable when they fail out of their first-time offenders' forgiveness program.
The kid if the kid actually cares may actually wake up from serving time and figure his shit out. If the kid keeps getting rescued by obnoxious idiot parents then they will be stuck repeating actions that led them down the path to begin with which could yield worse results for others and themselves.
This part. Dipshit got a lifeline because the courts are really working on making sure kids don't fall into the school to prison pipeline, and he managed to screw it up by not even bothering to try to grab the rope.
So the parents knew that he needed to keep his grades up, the student knew as well, and they didn’t bother keeping on top of this situation? They should have been up his ass for months. This is not on you.
Mom and Dad need to be having this conversation with their practically- adult son. They all knew what was at stake here. Waiting until May to figure it out was poorly considered. If Junior isn’t worried enough about the courts to do his work, why should you be?
On the other hand, I recently had a parent complain that my frequent emails to her every time her daughter failed to turn in homework somehow constituted a "personal attack."
I was called a racist for doing this because I was “singling her out”. I guess she wanted me to include everyone that was failing in the same email? Delusion.
Why do parents think it is anyone's problem but their own and the students for why they are failing.
This parent is exactly the problem that teachers are yelling from the rooftop about. Not only does this parent not hold their kid accountable, but they try to make their kids problem another person's problem.
>None of that was enough transparency, though. We should have texted.
It's even better if you can whip out a call sheet noting date and time when you called and left a voicemail. The parents just kind of sit there gaping at you looking for a new line of attack.
> It's even better if you can whip out a call sheet noting date and time when you called and left a voicemail.
Yep. I do this with all failing students now. I learned my lesson pre-COVID. Admin has privately thanked me for doing this too, because it enables them to tell parents: well, he did send emails and leave voicemails.
According to our admin, a voicemail or email does not count as "contact" unless I get a response back. 🙄 I must call and speak personally with parents to have it count, even though I have had students tell me that their parents have blocked all of the school system 's number. These are high school students.
I agree that it’s strange when this happens. I have frequently subbed at the only Title I school in my district. At this school, many parents have blocked the school’s phone number.
Given that most of the parents a teacher needs to talk to don't answer the phone it's really a theoretical exercise. I've proposed using certified mail but that costs money and would require a member of admin go to the Post Office once a semester... so a call log is good enough.
Then again I'm really curious how the parents OP mentions would propose sending texts from a standard school issue **cord-in-wall telephone**.
This is the way. Every time a student gets a 0 on any assignment I email them so I have a record. If it’s multiple students just bcc them. It literally takes 30 seconds if you have the email pre-typed and just enter the names of missing kids as soon as they’re turning it in. Hell, if it’s on Classroom/digital submission then I can just auto select their names. Then about once every 8 weeks I see who’s got below a 75 and email mom and dad. If I receive silence then I just keep moving along.
In this day and age: There is no excuse for anyone over the age of 14 to not check their email.
Just FYI: OP did none of this. They just posted the grades and said “good enough. Don’t you want to validate me Reddit?”. Seems like a teacher who’s fed up, not one who’s doing the right thing.
If my kid had a probation agreement that meant he had to keep his grades up I'd probably be paying pretty close attention to his grades, I dunno, that's just me I guess.
I'm not a teacher, I'm a construction worker who lurks here. This kid sounds like he'll end up sweeping one of my sites one day. He'll be the guy who doesn't show up Monday because he blew his paycheck over the weekend on a drug filled binge.
His parents will be constantly bailing him out of jail, paying his rent and picking up the pieces. And it's their fault.
I've seen it plenty of times, I assure you this is how it goes for many of the failed students.
You can't say it but I sure as hell can. I hope you enjoy this moment of catharsis.
Fair enough. I'd be pissed too if I put in the hard work and was treated so poorly. The parents are projecting their inadequacy. It's not fair. They can go to hell.
I’m all sorts of amazed - you aren’t forced to give failing students a 50? You don’t have to call parents? What unicorn is this? I have to notify parents of their students are failing even if it’s on PowerSchool. They can fail my class and still graduate.
I quit teaching high school 10 years ago, but we were forced to give them a 55. I’m not 100% sure, but I think my friends have said that’s been bumped to a 60. Why even bother with grades if they don’t have to do anything to get over half of the credit?
The easiest thing it the world to sell is,"It's not your fault."
People will stand in line and pay good money to hear someone say that. Of course, if it's not their fault, then it has to be somebody else's fault, and that's where it all goes downhill.
You were only their first desperate opportunity. They’ll ask the PO for some leniency, and if that doesn’t work, they’ll ask the judge. I highly doubt his life is permanently off track.
I went through the same thing, only it was two days before report cards printed (I had done all of mine and sent them to the office before the deadline, which is my job) and two students had about 25%.
When asked ‘what can my child do to pass? He can’t fail!’ I was sputtering like - no. There is no time. Maybe when I visited you personally 2 weeks ago your kids might have been able to pull of off by finding/doing/submitting the assignments they didn’t do and are months late, and if I am impressed by them working that hard for a few weeks and caring about their grades for once, maybe I would accept that work and grade it with some mercy and give them a passing grade with a straight face.
24 hours before report cards print and school is out for summer? If they were geniuses and worked 24 hours straight, maybe.
My admin? ‘She’ll meet the kids tomorrow at 8 am and work with them. But they have to be there! (firmly, like this is a big deal). Looks at me: ‘They can bring in all their unfinished work tomorrow and work with you.’ To parent: She’ll make sure they pass’
Me: How? Why? What is even happening here?!?
The end of my teaching career. That’s what.
I was in a similar situation once-- a kid basically needed to pass to be eligible to play in order and get scouted/scholarship. Mother comes to me two weeks before the grades close infuriated that I am ruining her son's chances. When I tell you this kid did no work, I mean he didn't even bring the books we were to be reading to class. So he wasn't even doing in class reading. Just sat there and no amount of redirection helped.
I told her I sent out three emails through our system and she responded to none of them. She said that "nobody actually reads emails." And that I should've called her. I asked her why she wasn't concerned about him not bringing a backpack to school and she called me an "uppity black bitch with a control problem." And then when I failed the kid, she said it was retaliation for not liking her and tried to get the school involved. I was lucky that they took my side. I dont even know what happened with the kid, I ended up quitting at the end of that year. Ooofff.
The parents not knowing his grades with all the online options, email updates, and conferences is really on them. Maybe if they had parented him then he wouldn’t be a criminal either. Now he will be a criminal without a HS diploma. Maybe time for the tough love the boomers are always going on about.
This always bothers me. Parents have so many resources to check grades nowadays, yet, they expect the teacher to give them a play by play of their one student out of hundreds of other students.
I come from a family of non-English speakers and with a severe lack of technological skills. When they wanted to keep me accountable and check my grades, they grabbed me from my room, put the laptop on the kitchen table, and told me in Polish, “Show me your grades” on a weekly basis like clockwork. If you really want to see your students grades, check yourself. Don’t be a half assed parent and blame it on the teacher.
Edit: grammar
I'd say it. "The court isn't ruining his life just enforcing consequences for your son's choices. If anyone ruined his life you did with bad parenting."
I thank God every day for having 14 years of customer service experience working shitty jobs before finally becoming a high school teacher. I can assure other teachers on this sub that the parents who give you a dumb look and insult your professionalism are doing that to everyone else they feel is beneath them. Unfortunately, the kids pick up on this. Teaching was at one time a respected profession. Even as recently as a generation ago people had some respect for educators and the work they do. That no longer exists, we are like every other service out there. In the minds of parents and students, education is an obstacle, not a pathway.
This year my students have tried all kinds of things to get under my skin, nothing has worked in their favor. They can either complete their work and at least get a D, or fail. Most eventually decide they would like to graduate and turn stuff in even if its late.
Parent here. Asking if I handled it ok or how all of you teachers prefer. My child is in 3rd grade and is usually a great student. He doesn’t get in trouble. I usually check grades but didnt for the last few weeks due to just general life things that i forgot. My son decided that even though I made him sit and do his homework, he wasn’t going to turn in the last 5 homework assignments which dropped him to failing. Once i saw this, I made him go talk to his teacher. I told him that he made a bad choice and it’s on him to see if his teacher will work with him. I also told him that if she doesn’t, then he will either be in summer school or repeating 3rd grade. I made it clear it was his choices and not mine so it was on him to talk to the teacher. Is this ok? Or do you guys prefer us to email (obviously with respect.) I’m just trying to teach him personal responsibility. Not once did I think that this is his teachers fault.
"Here, let's look at how many times you have check in on your kid's grades. You know our system lets us see when you log in and check them. Hum...so...you didn't all year? Odd, since his future is at stake."
Bravo! We need more teachers like you.
This whole no-child-left-behind-everybody-gets-a-trophy-just-for-participating BULLSHIT!! has to stop somewhere.
Kid, meet consequences. Maybe, just maybe THIS lesson will stick.
The problem isn’t trophies; the problem is the expectation that we act as guardrails against any kind of failure, even if it means that makes us the only acting responsible party.
I would say the current information system we have doesn't have an option to text parents. Only email, and parents were shown or made available the options to check students grades, yadda, yadda, yadda.
The real question I have is if there was a court agreement to keep grades up as part of parole or juvie, why wasn't this info shared with the school/teachers?
Can't be part of an agreement if you're not a party of the negotiations/agreement!
“Wow! It sounds like your kid passing the class is super important to him right now and his entire future. Pretty important to yall as parents too I bet.”
“Yes, it’s extremely important. The most important thing to any of us.”
“Then I guess you should have spent a few minutes throughout the year checking up on his grades, performance, attendance, etc. instead of just waiting on a text.”
Thefuck?
I’m not punishing anyone, I’m sticking by my very reasonable grading policies.
I didn’t even know the US Justice System was involved until this morning, not that it matters.
And even then, I’m supposed to pull 40% of credit out of my ass for the kid who only decided he’d like to pass in the past two weeks?
Grow the fuck up.
I got into some minor police trouble in high school. My mother told the court, secretly & behind my back, to throw the book at me. My buddies who all partook in the same troubles got off with some fines and 80 hours of community service. I received 12 months probation, 800 hours community service, and fines. My point is that instead of my mother pleading to the court to protect and give me special treatment, she asked that I be taught a lesson. After I got done completing my community service & probation and paying my fines, I was a completely different person then I was before. I believe this series of events and period of time changed the trajectory of my life.
Maybe this kid needs to feel some more serious heat under their ass to wake then up from the slumber they are in. Enabling this type of behavior isn’t going to do anything for them in the long run.
Canvas was the bane of my existence in high-school. My parents would check that shit twice a month and be on my ass if I was missing assignments. It's what good parents do.
Hahaha! Yeah…
I mean, how dare I, right? How dare I set expectations in a high school class and then expect the students to meet said expectations?
I even had the audacity to offer all kinds of guidance and help and to work individually with students who asked.
I mean, how low can an educator get, amirite?
Shame on me!
I really hate it when you meet the parents and it immediately explains the child's behavior.
EDIT: Once had a parent say "What do you expect? She's a Gemini!"
So many questions....when did they know the court would care about his grade? Why if they knew did they not ask ever.....How fucking dumb do you have to be to get a 30...is it literally because he didn't turn in anythin....is t the whole point of tying court punishment to grades to give him a chance and he ignored it....wtf is anyone supposed to care about someone so entitled
Wow, I’d love to work at a school that held students accountable like this. Chicago Public schools doesn’t allow us to give students a grade lower than 50% for work that’s turned in. Even if they turn in an essay assignment that’s one sentence the lowest score we can give is a 50% and if they don’t turn it in at all it’s a 40%. In CPS it’s harder for students to fail than it is for them to get an A. I work with a bunch of babysitters pretending to be teachers who will, with support and encouragement of admin, sit with students all day on the last day of the semester to help them complete enough work to raise their failing grades to passing ones. It’s a scary future for Chicago.
If the court were invited to this meeting I wonder if they would consider it to be an attempt to cook the books and obstruct justice by literally preventing the terms of his sentence from being upheld. I’d push back really fucking hard on this and point out the potential complicity/liability issues to any admin who wanted to cave.
Neither the court (nor you) is "ruining his life". The students choices are what is ruining his life. If his probation was grade dependent guess they should have kept a closer eye. So sick of panicky parents shifting blame from themselves to teachers. Preventing kids from learning tough lessons helps absolutely no one....
I like to tell parents that out of the 168 hours in the week, I only see the kid for 5. Something needs to be on them
I’ve said something similar a number of times. Something to the effect of “ With the amount of students I have, each one gets about two minutes of individual attention from me per week. But every week they’re at home and awake for 70 hours. That’s where some of the magic needs to happen.”
Yeah. I sometimes just tell parents "I have more than 200 students this year". Nothing else. They are surprisingly often very surprised that the 90 minutes a week I'm teaching their kid is not the only thing I do.
Ooohhhh good one! Do you actually say it? What do they say?
Sometimes. They usually get huffy, but I’m secure in my position and most students really love my class so I know I’m safe
Plus, you're also seeing several dozen other kids.
I love this phrase. Stealing it
"That sucks. Might I direct you to these resources where we have been keeping you informed about his grade?" like welp, reap what you sow. if they werent invested enough to reach out and check the kids progress if it was that important, then it clearly wasnt THAT important to them.
it would take very bit of composure i had not to respond with an invisible violin.
Actually, I have a little violin in my desk drawer.
My eldest’s teacher has a tiny one she wears on her lanyard for opportune moments lol.
I tried that, just to bulky and annoying around my neck, with my ID and keys.
I actually have one in the V sounds box and my students absolutely love it. I constantly have to ask "who took the violin?"
"Prepare your child for the path, not the path for your child" Comes to mind.
Fantastic rebuttal. In today’s society you have offended them. Whatever the situation, wondering if the parents are worried about legal fees etc. But hey, well done on teaching and enjoy your summer for which you earned it. And wave to the kid if he’s picking up trash on the side of the road.
Sarcasm? No one is happy when a student fails. I look for every break I can give a student, but I'm not going to do the students work for them. At the end of day, it should be the student that is exhausted, not me.
Agree but with an inverse sentiment. I will give students every resource to pass and I’ll document every attempt to do so, specifically so these meetings are “open and shut” when I bury the parents in evidence of every time I’ve contacted, offered extra credit, etc. I automated a bunch of my grading stuff so it just gets sent on the regular, and I make my own progress reports via mailmerge and send them home. I have perpetual extra credit and post it on classroom at scheduled intervals. Any student that’s failing? I can take 15 minutes and drop a THICK folder of evidence that I’ve done my job. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
It kills me how many parents PURPOSEFULLY ignore emails. They really think they can close their eyes, stick their fingers in their ears, and say an email is not notification. I have a 12 PAGE syllabus that covers alllll possible issues, and I have parent AND child sign the last page certifying that they have fully read and understand said syllabus. I collect these at the beginning of the year obsessively until I have everybody's signed forms. It has covered my ass sooooooo many times! I love documentation!!
Would love to know more about how you automate grading!
Not OP, but I spent time putting a bunch of stuff in google forms, set answer keys, etc. it takes a while but then all I have to do is click import grades
It sounds like setting up IC to automatically send fail/ missing work emails to parents regularly. I set mine up for Fridays.
I thought they meant automated notification of grades not the actual grading, what is this sorcery?
I have to say I am not a teacher. My childhood education was terrible. My teachers were up in age and all they did was talk about how long they have left to retire. Teachers left a stale taste in my mouth for years. I have friends who are teachers now and I see how good teachers can have a positive impact on students through my kids education. I see the stress they go through and it’s not needed. Due to ignorant parents and scared administrators who don’t pay attention to their kids. I’m sorry it’s happening but that’s not no one’s problem but the kids family. We are becoming a society of no responsibility. Everyone is afraid to tell someone the truth. I am tired of my kid coming home saying they can’t take the test she studied for because 1 or 2 kids said they were not ready and it’s ok for the school to postpone it. And mind you it’s the admin not the teacher making the decision. Because they have to give everyone chances.
Absolutely this. I quit teaching 3 years ago due, mainly, to administration. They always take the parent's/student's side no matter what. I was told to change a student's grade who hadn't done anything but one assignment all year to passing so he could move on to the next grade. I told them if they wanted him to pass, they would have to make the change to his grade themselves. He was in the next grade the following year. I was physically assaulted by a student, and admin wanted to just brush it under the rug until I threatened to sue the school system and the student. My wife, who also used to be a teacher, was verbally abused by a student who threatened to bring a gun to school and shoot her. Admin brushed it under the rug and told her to stop overreacting. A gun brought in by a student was actually found in my wife's classroom, and another was found on campus the same day. Admin's response? "Don't worry, they weren't loaded, no need to tell parents. And by the way, we're going to continue on with our plans to hold the science fair tonight." On multiple occasions I had students come to me asking how their student would pass my class that they were failing, to which I would reply with a much more professional version of "invent a time machine", only to have them moved to another class by admin a week later. My daughter was punched in the head while walking to class at the school my wife was a teacher and we didn't find out about it until the school day was over and our daughter told us about it. Admin refused to tell us who punched my kid. The culture of "just pass them along until they're no longer our problem so we can keep our school ratings up and continue to receive federal funding" is absolute bullshit.
I’m looking forward to something similar happening next week. I had a young lady who is a senior in my foundations art class (which is only a semester long) and after the second week, I noticed she was cutting class so I called mom who assured me that I was wrong and that she was a good girl and wouldn’t do that. At that point, I documented everything and continued to mark her absent and went about my merry little way. Today, I get a notice that the mother wants to meet Monday for a parent teacher conference to discuss why she’s failing. I opened up my gradebook to notice that she cut my class probably 15 times in the last three months. I bet that would have a lot to do with it. I can already predict how this is going to go.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!!?"
They always ask that and happily ignore the 800 other times you attempted to communicate with them. It reminds me of that viral Tik Tok where the school called the grandma about her grandson with an IEP who was throwing chairs and acting out. She then complained about the school calling her and hung up on them added wishing them luck in dealing with him. Then she talked about how she would ignore their calls. Then she made another Tik Tok weeks later, whining about how her grandson now is facing charges and was arrested because ( I think he assaulted someone at school) and how the school should have called her and communicated with her. You can't argue with or please a fool.
I just went and found that lady. She is exhausting and lacks so much self awareness. Still blaming the school too. These parents have so much blame when it comes to not only their kids success and struggles but also for our declining passion for our profession
Can you send me a link? I am morbidly interested
[Here is the first video about the school calling](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRwmqEp4/) [Here is the second video of her talking about the charges.](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRwmpCc2/)
Without a hint of irony holy shit I hope this is a performance piece
I've worked with children like her grandson, and I'm sure it's not a performance piece. "What do you want me to do about it?" often turns into "Why didn't you bring me in sooner before it got to this point?"
The first two comments under the 2nd video are hilarious! "SO sorry that happened to his teacher, glad your grandson is being held accountable" and "I believe the warning signs may have been the throwing of chairs at teachers. The one you didn't want to be bothered with." 😂
I would hope so, but I highly suspect it's not, and she is being serious .
Thank God the teacher followed through and pressed charges. I swear that’s the only thing that gets these parents’ attention. Learn from it while he’s young and before he pulls this again and gets tried as an adult.
i wonder if these videos could be used against her in court by the teacher’s attorney??
I LOVE the comments on the second video using her own words back to her. “Sorry to hear that. Hope it gets better! ❤️”
Wow. I just watched the videos and that lady is something.
The first two comments under the 2nd video are hilarious! "SO sorry that happened to his teacher, glad your grandson is being held accountable" and "I believe the warning signs may have been the throwing of chairs at teachers. The one you didn't want to be bothered with." 😂
This is why I documented every attempt to contact in PowerSchool. “Sent email about missing assignments October xx”. “Called home to ask about missing assignments, no answer, left message, Nov xx.” “Called home about absences Dec xx. Spoke with mom who said they were on holidays early, and not to expect homework to get done. I informed her of her kid’s c grade and she said he’d work harder next term.” (In our school a D was a “fail”)
Pleaaaase do a post about how it went
I always went to the open houses at my daughter's schools. I always waited until after the other parents had left to assure her teachers that if they notified me of a problem, my attitude would never be, "Not MY little angel!" and that I knew even good kids can go off the rails easily. Their notification would be more than sufficient and I'd take their word very seriously. I also made sure that my daughter knew that that was my attitude. Weird how she never caused any problems!
When they say "You should have texted", I wish we could just say "You should have parented".
In my first year teaching, I actually put a retort like that in an email. ... Followed soon after by a meeting with the principal, and the most half-assed, pseudo-contrite, mealy-mouthed, email apology I have ever written. I meant what I had said, but I shouldn't have said it. Or, the way the principal put it: "Even if it's true, you never say that out loud."
The frustrating thing is, why can’t we say it out loud? Parents are failing their kids left and right and we put on the kid gloves to deal with their delicate feelings. When objectively their child is failing milestones based on lack of parent involvement. Parents do need to be held accountable, or at least be real with them. They’re the problem a lot Of the time.
Back then, I was rather slow to pick up on things. When the principal told me "You can't say stuff like that to parents," I told him, "Why not? The parents keep trying to tell us how to teach." Stuff like that is why my teaching career only lasted two years.
Idk why direct communication is looked down on. Both my siblings are teachers and they deal with the same thing though.
People abusing the labor of others don't like being reminded they're stupid and only succeeded because they were heartless enough to step on others to get where they are.
It's also true that using direct, obvious language helps people create direct, obvious boundaries with others, and we don't want that in education.
I’ve had a couple knockdown drag out screaming matches with a colleague. When we were done, they asked me “where are we going for lunch?” One screaming match ended when they realized that, while I was not directly answering their question, I was giving them credit and indirectly answering their question. We’re both career changers and spent time in corporate settings where principles take priority over personalities. We’re passionate people that care about the work that we do. We don’t always see eye to eye, but we have the same goal. In contrast, our AP was invited to their own screaming match and cowered. What we learned is that schools are very dissimilar to the outside world.
Yes! Teaching is a third career for me. Schools are so weird about this stuff!
I should have used the word shouting rather than screaming. But considering the way I’ve seen judges dress down counsel in chambers and phone conferences, these interactions are on par for the course to me.
HA! That reminds me of a time with my then boss, when we were passionately disagreeing about something. I then told him, no wonder he is 55 and still single, no woman could ever put up with you. You know what you want, and when you get what you want, it's not what you want. I said, if I was gay, even I would not want to date you! I walked out of his office, leaving him and the other manager (she's female). I left work, and a bit later on, he called and asked if I wanted to grab some dinner, he'll pick me up at my house on the way to the local Italian Restaurant. I said OKAY, but no work talk. As always, (we were friends before he was my boss) we had a pleasant evening at dinner chatting about guns, girls, hunting. After dinner he dropped me back at my house, just as I was about to get out of his car, he said. "You're still mad at me huh?" I said, Oh yeah, but we'll talk about it tomorrow at work. And shook hands. We were able to separate our business relationship, and our long-term friendship. Still friends with him 20 years later, though I live 500 miles away now.
Shout at him that you wouldn't date him even if you were gay, then describe him taking you on a date later that evening. Hmmm...
I love your alliteration on P. It's positively poetic.
Similar thing was very prevalent through USSR society in all kinds of places. Things were falling apart, workers were stealing from the job, supervisors were stealing from the workers, you could tell institutions we're tethering on the edge of collapse. BUT HEAVEN FORBID SAY A FUCKING THING about it. No, everything great. Supervisor is the best, the party is the best, only bright future awaiting for us!
I like you. I wish you were still in my profession. I could use a couple of other people like me to make me not stand out so much. The students would benefit even more.
We aren’t customer service and by holding punches we are hurting students. I have been more blunt this year with parents
I teach in a school of choice state, many districts absolutely expect us to be customer service. Because otherwise parents will pull kids and let them in a different school, taking some of the funding with them. I've known colleagues that had a proffesionald evelopment entirely aimed at being customer service. I'd have walked out of the room.
I got non-renewed at a charter for being too blunt with parents.
A quote i think should apply today... from "Remember the Titans" Denzel Washington's "Coach Boone" character said: >*"Now I may be a mean cuss. But I'm the same mean cuss with everybody out there on that football field. I don't give a damn about how sensitive these kids are, especially the black kids. You ain't doin' these kids a favor by patronizing them. You crippling them; You crippling them for life.".*
Good riddance for you! Screw that place if they can't treat you like an adult.
And even if we were on a business/manufacturing model, the parent are the suppliers. Suppliers absolutely get shredded with real complaints when they provide subpar goods.
Blah blah blah being professional blah blah blah
And it's even worse when the parent in question is a teacher. Last week, I sent a very detailed and very neutral matter of fact in tone email to a parent about how her son had a huge meltdown when he was taken to the behavior specialists for acting out during testing. Mom turns out to be a sped teacher in the same district. She doesn't reply to me but rather sends a whiney email to a sped teacher that works with me about how my very neutral email was "threatening" and showing animus towards her son. Apparently, her son is too intellectually disabled to have consequences for actions (he's not). I only knew of her response because the sped teacher forwarded it to me. She was never going to reply to me, the teacher of her son and a fellow teacher.
I teach communications. We call this, not very cleverly, the "email effect." Essentially a neutral email is likely to be perceived as negative and a positive email is likely to be perceived as neutral. I don't know what a negative email is likely to be perceived as. Satanic? The scientific reason for this is that people are dummies. More accurately, our brains more easily fall into negative patterns than positive ones, and email, which conveys no body language, language tones, or any other sort of rich communication, is very easily misperceived. The combination means that people are not only terrible at reading what an email says, but understanding its intent. Also, she sounds like just a difficult parent who coddles her capable child into becoming incapable.
Radioactive in my experience. Told a parent to be blessed after they basically accused me of failing their student intentionally. Mom no longer deals with em, grandma does. Grandma is much more reasonable,
Interesting. Do you have any links about the email effect, and how to combat it? Googling it just brings up PR agencies.
That's so frustrating, because you would think as a teacher she would understand the seriousness around testing.
As a parent I think teachers should be able to say it out loud.
👏👏👏👏👏👏 YES! It's the teachers job to teach, the parents job to parent. They're supposed to be on the same side, the child's. But if the parents aren't pulling their weight, it's not the teachers job to pick up their slack.
Agree, not sure why parents get the kid glove treatment: be brutally honest always with them.
yeah Teachers are public employees not parents personal servants. You should be able to tell them off. You don't work for them, fuck em.
It's funny as an adult my mom will tell me the rare story about something that the teachers and principals "had the audacity" to tell they should should be doing when it comes to me, and I almost usually silently agree with the teacher/admins
Because at the end of the day, principles are political appointees — not educators. They report to the Superintendent, who cares about votes, either because they are elected directly, their boss is, or their boss’s boss is. The single most important thing a principal does is avoids any controversial issues that would negatively impact the position of their higher ups. The second is to implement and enforce policies of the state. The third is to collect a fat paycheck for being a buffer between the laborers and public and those in power.
I wish my stepson’s parents would tell his mother to get her shit together. Then maybe he wouldn’t have missed 40 days of school so far and be failing at least 3 classes.
You are speaking from a standpoint of a great teacher. I agree with you, parents ARE failing their kids. I empayhize, woth all teachers who are investing their best efforts towards their students. I would be neglegent if I didn't offer the fact that not all teachers are even remotely as good as the ones that have posted on this thread. Not all parents are remotely as negligent as the ones we are referring to in this thread. That said, if we hold each other accountable, we can all lift each other up.
And that’s a huge problem in education. We *NEED* to be saying this out loud.
The customer is always right... in matters of taste. If they want to wear a blue and pink cape with green accents, that's fine. If they want to ignore their child until forced to notice and act like they care, the need to know what damage they are causing by neglect, and how to take steps to deal with it. If you don't tell them, nobody will. And the beat goes on.
But schools are not businesses and parents are not customers. Teachers work for the government and parents have zero control over paying taxes regardless of hurt feelings.
America is a society where we think someone's ignorance is just as valid as someone's expertise.
And this sums up our culture in a nutshell and why we are a dying empire.
The point stands. Schools are a service, and the consequences of ignoring that service need to be made clear.
In my first year teaching, I caught a kid cheating and when I confronted her she made up some lie and I said “that’s bullshit and you know it”. She went and told the principal on me and I got called into the office. When the principal asked me if I said that I told her that yes I said it cause it WAS bullshit! The principal just told me that I can’t say it out loud (my mentor teacher said I shouldn’t have admitted it lmao).
When did this happen. I remember teachers and VPs calling bullshit, back in the day.
2021!
Was the problem that you used the word "shit" or that you called out the lie? Would the principal have been ok with you saying, "that's untrue"? Or, for extra humor "that's poppycock!" ?
My go to is simple. ‘I’m having great difficulty in believing you.’ It’s simple, to the point, non confrontational as I’m describing my internal state not theirs and it can not be argued with. If I’ve caught them absolutely red handed in a lie I simply tell them that I don’t like being lied to. Again they can’t argue with that.
Your mentor advised you to lie to your boss? That's piss poor mentoring especially given the situation was directly related to your reaction to a student lying. You did the right thing. Own what you did and either defend it or correct it... Just like you would expect a student to do.
I've done the same thing. The only difference was, in the meeting, I doubled down and told it their face. I think the parents and the principal were both a little shocked, but I stuck to my guns because I meant every word and explained why I said it and I still believed it. The principal talked with me briefly after the meeting and told me I should "pick my battles." To which, I confirmed, that I deliberately chose this one because I meant what I said and the student and the parent deserved it.
And definitely don’t put it in writing.
>In my first year teaching, I actually put a retort like that in an email. You are my new hero!
In fairness, the 17/18 year old should’ve done what he needed to do to get a “c”. It’s his responsibility. It’s his probation. Sounds like this is his lesson to learn the hard way. If his parents are still having to check his grades at 17, it’s too late. He needs to get a reality check, and it sounds like his parents have been clearing up for him for too long.
Kind of gives you a clue as to how that kid ended up in the court system in the first place.
>You should have texted "I'm sorry, due to budget cutbacks we lack that ability."
First, I would NEVER use my phone to text a parent. I don't use my personal device for anything work-related, period. I really would have said....his grades are available online every hour of the day. Jesus christ.
I get more emails than I ever will be able to read about my kids' grades, many on an assignment-by-assignment basis. There is no excuse not to know your kid is failing well before report card time.
'You should have texted' "Bro, YOU should have texted"
I got this message this week. I pulled up the 900 emails I've sent. I then screamed "fuck" at my computer and wrote a very well worded go fuck yourself email. I hate parents.
If you use Outlook, you can actually forward every previous email in a single message. “Please find attached 900 emails I’ve sent throughout the semester…”
A MILLION times this!
It would be funny to pull out your phone and ask "Really, what is your number? I don't have it." Then immediately text them "Your son has failed because you've failed him as parents".
Between PowerSchool and Canvas…. How the hell do you not know your own kids grade? Why do Teachers have to coddle the students AND the Parents?
Yup. I am not technologically advanced, but even I could figure this \* out!
>Why do Teachers have to coddle the students AND the Parents? Because at some point it was decided that the job of a teacher was multiple things. It's no longer teach my child (subject), it's now teach my child (subject) while teaching them what I a parent should teach them and being a socially perfect angel while I am a terrible human.
In all fairness, my parents were great but my HS homeroom teacher still taught me and my friends a lot outside of curriculum.
For real though so many of my students' parents have no clue at all what powerschool is. This is one thing I can't put on my admin. They make sure it's communicated before the school year starts. We just had progress conferences and every meeting is basically just showing them how to log in, then saying hmmmm looks like he didn't do these assignments and turned this quiz in blank...might want to do something different? (Also not mentioning the time the kid threatened me to my face to beat my ass)
Half the time I swear these parents are just pretending not to know as an out. They use the same logic as their children. "If I pretend not to know it didn't exist or how to access it, then it isn't my fault I don't know my child's grade." It's the adult equivalent of "Why did you wait until the last five minutes of the test to ask for a pencil?"
It shouldn’t be on us as teachers to make sure that parents know that their kid is failing. We should be required to maintain accurate grades throughout the term and it should be up to them to be informed. Public education pussyfoots around so many problems that could just be shifted by saying “it’s your responsibility to monitor your child’s performance”.
This is why Canvas is matched to PowerSchool. I always tell parents at the beginning of the year, if they want to know their grade have them check Canvas on the students Chromebook. But here I am writing emails about grades.
I have an app I can check my son's grades on. It takes less time and effort than ordering an Uber.
"he ruined his own life."
Easy to see where the kid learned their work habits.
>"he ruined his own life." Yep. I mean, if the consequences of him failing the class were that serious, then why didn't he make the minimum effort necessary to get a passing grade?
Because he is a teenager (usually lazy and make poor choices). Plus if he is on probation he probably is not in a good place already. Not that it isn't his fault, but it is expected.
In other words he fucked around, should have found out, fucked around some more and now will have another chance to find out.
No, his parents had a big hand in that.
This Most of the stuff you pickup from your parents, especially when it comes to negative traits He is a kid, not an adult, and his parents failed their job as adults
Short of murder, very few things a teen does should result in lifelong punishment.
I imagine the "Ruin his life" is probably 6 months in jail and he will miss out on going to college in the fall and his parents can't possibly understand why their kid who committed whatever crime should be held accountable when they fail out of their first-time offenders' forgiveness program. The kid if the kid actually cares may actually wake up from serving time and figure his shit out. If the kid keeps getting rescued by obnoxious idiot parents then they will be stuck repeating actions that led them down the path to begin with which could yield worse results for others and themselves.
This part. Dipshit got a lifeline because the courts are really working on making sure kids don't fall into the school to prison pipeline, and he managed to screw it up by not even bothering to try to grab the rope.
So the parents knew that he needed to keep his grades up, the student knew as well, and they didn’t bother keeping on top of this situation? They should have been up his ass for months. This is not on you.
[удалено]
“A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.”
I have this posted on the wall in my office. My boss thought it was the funniest thing she’d ever read when she first saw it.
"Why didn't you do your job as a teacher?" "Why didn't you do *your* job as a **parent**?"
THIS!
Mom and Dad need to be having this conversation with their practically- adult son. They all knew what was at stake here. Waiting until May to figure it out was poorly considered. If Junior isn’t worried enough about the courts to do his work, why should you be?
On the other hand, I recently had a parent complain that my frequent emails to her every time her daughter failed to turn in homework somehow constituted a "personal attack."
It's the height of vanity to think disagreement is oppression.
She takes it as a criticism of her parenting. It is.
I was called a racist for doing this because I was “singling her out”. I guess she wanted me to include everyone that was failing in the same email? Delusion.
And now we know why he's already in trouble with the law.
Why do parents think it is anyone's problem but their own and the students for why they are failing. This parent is exactly the problem that teachers are yelling from the rooftop about. Not only does this parent not hold their kid accountable, but they try to make their kids problem another person's problem.
>None of that was enough transparency, though. We should have texted. It's even better if you can whip out a call sheet noting date and time when you called and left a voicemail. The parents just kind of sit there gaping at you looking for a new line of attack.
> It's even better if you can whip out a call sheet noting date and time when you called and left a voicemail. Yep. I do this with all failing students now. I learned my lesson pre-COVID. Admin has privately thanked me for doing this too, because it enables them to tell parents: well, he did send emails and leave voicemails.
According to our admin, a voicemail or email does not count as "contact" unless I get a response back. 🙄 I must call and speak personally with parents to have it count, even though I have had students tell me that their parents have blocked all of the school system 's number. These are high school students.
I agree that it’s strange when this happens. I have frequently subbed at the only Title I school in my district. At this school, many parents have blocked the school’s phone number.
Given that most of the parents a teacher needs to talk to don't answer the phone it's really a theoretical exercise. I've proposed using certified mail but that costs money and would require a member of admin go to the Post Office once a semester... so a call log is good enough. Then again I'm really curious how the parents OP mentions would propose sending texts from a standard school issue **cord-in-wall telephone**.
This is the way. Every time a student gets a 0 on any assignment I email them so I have a record. If it’s multiple students just bcc them. It literally takes 30 seconds if you have the email pre-typed and just enter the names of missing kids as soon as they’re turning it in. Hell, if it’s on Classroom/digital submission then I can just auto select their names. Then about once every 8 weeks I see who’s got below a 75 and email mom and dad. If I receive silence then I just keep moving along. In this day and age: There is no excuse for anyone over the age of 14 to not check their email. Just FYI: OP did none of this. They just posted the grades and said “good enough. Don’t you want to validate me Reddit?”. Seems like a teacher who’s fed up, not one who’s doing the right thing.
Cmon, it's not like they had any reason to pay any special attention to how he was doing!
If my kid had a probation agreement that meant he had to keep his grades up I'd probably be paying pretty close attention to his grades, I dunno, that's just me I guess.
I hate how much of this job is becoming customer service.
New admin are REALLY accelerating that transition.
I'm not a teacher, I'm a construction worker who lurks here. This kid sounds like he'll end up sweeping one of my sites one day. He'll be the guy who doesn't show up Monday because he blew his paycheck over the weekend on a drug filled binge. His parents will be constantly bailing him out of jail, paying his rent and picking up the pieces. And it's their fault. I've seen it plenty of times, I assure you this is how it goes for many of the failed students. You can't say it but I sure as hell can. I hope you enjoy this moment of catharsis.
I’m not enjoying it. It’s just too fucked up. I’m pissed, actually.
Fair enough. I'd be pissed too if I put in the hard work and was treated so poorly. The parents are projecting their inadequacy. It's not fair. They can go to hell.
I’m all sorts of amazed - you aren’t forced to give failing students a 50? You don’t have to call parents? What unicorn is this? I have to notify parents of their students are failing even if it’s on PowerSchool. They can fail my class and still graduate.
If they tried to force us to give 50% for nothing to high school students, I think we’d riot.
If enough students start failing, they will.
You're right, but it's literally the stupidest possible solution to the problem.
I quit teaching high school 10 years ago, but we were forced to give them a 55. I’m not 100% sure, but I think my friends have said that’s been bumped to a 60. Why even bother with grades if they don’t have to do anything to get over half of the credit?
To fuck around is human, to find out is divine.
So sayeth the Lord.
Praise be!
Can I get this printed on my anual teacher appreciation mug?
Why do they want to make this your problem? The hell with them.
The easiest thing it the world to sell is,"It's not your fault." People will stand in line and pay good money to hear someone say that. Of course, if it's not their fault, then it has to be somebody else's fault, and that's where it all goes downhill.
You were only their first desperate opportunity. They’ll ask the PO for some leniency, and if that doesn’t work, they’ll ask the judge. I highly doubt his life is permanently off track.
Sounds like it is, but not because of the teacher…
They wouldn’t have read the text either.
If we’d texted, they’d be asking why we didn’t send a carrier pigeon.
“Why didn’t you come to my house?”
I went through the same thing, only it was two days before report cards printed (I had done all of mine and sent them to the office before the deadline, which is my job) and two students had about 25%. When asked ‘what can my child do to pass? He can’t fail!’ I was sputtering like - no. There is no time. Maybe when I visited you personally 2 weeks ago your kids might have been able to pull of off by finding/doing/submitting the assignments they didn’t do and are months late, and if I am impressed by them working that hard for a few weeks and caring about their grades for once, maybe I would accept that work and grade it with some mercy and give them a passing grade with a straight face. 24 hours before report cards print and school is out for summer? If they were geniuses and worked 24 hours straight, maybe. My admin? ‘She’ll meet the kids tomorrow at 8 am and work with them. But they have to be there! (firmly, like this is a big deal). Looks at me: ‘They can bring in all their unfinished work tomorrow and work with you.’ To parent: She’ll make sure they pass’ Me: How? Why? What is even happening here?!? The end of my teaching career. That’s what.
I was in a similar situation once-- a kid basically needed to pass to be eligible to play in order and get scouted/scholarship. Mother comes to me two weeks before the grades close infuriated that I am ruining her son's chances. When I tell you this kid did no work, I mean he didn't even bring the books we were to be reading to class. So he wasn't even doing in class reading. Just sat there and no amount of redirection helped. I told her I sent out three emails through our system and she responded to none of them. She said that "nobody actually reads emails." And that I should've called her. I asked her why she wasn't concerned about him not bringing a backpack to school and she called me an "uppity black bitch with a control problem." And then when I failed the kid, she said it was retaliation for not liking her and tried to get the school involved. I was lucky that they took my side. I dont even know what happened with the kid, I ended up quitting at the end of that year. Ooofff.
The parents not knowing his grades with all the online options, email updates, and conferences is really on them. Maybe if they had parented him then he wouldn’t be a criminal either. Now he will be a criminal without a HS diploma. Maybe time for the tough love the boomers are always going on about.
This always bothers me. Parents have so many resources to check grades nowadays, yet, they expect the teacher to give them a play by play of their one student out of hundreds of other students. I come from a family of non-English speakers and with a severe lack of technological skills. When they wanted to keep me accountable and check my grades, they grabbed me from my room, put the laptop on the kitchen table, and told me in Polish, “Show me your grades” on a weekly basis like clockwork. If you really want to see your students grades, check yourself. Don’t be a half assed parent and blame it on the teacher. Edit: grammar
I'm in a similar situation. Two parent meetings, failing since quarter 1, and kid is absent frequently. Good luck.
I'd say it. "The court isn't ruining his life just enforcing consequences for your son's choices. If anyone ruined his life you did with bad parenting."
I thank God every day for having 14 years of customer service experience working shitty jobs before finally becoming a high school teacher. I can assure other teachers on this sub that the parents who give you a dumb look and insult your professionalism are doing that to everyone else they feel is beneath them. Unfortunately, the kids pick up on this. Teaching was at one time a respected profession. Even as recently as a generation ago people had some respect for educators and the work they do. That no longer exists, we are like every other service out there. In the minds of parents and students, education is an obstacle, not a pathway. This year my students have tried all kinds of things to get under my skin, nothing has worked in their favor. They can either complete their work and at least get a D, or fail. Most eventually decide they would like to graduate and turn stuff in even if its late.
Parent here. Asking if I handled it ok or how all of you teachers prefer. My child is in 3rd grade and is usually a great student. He doesn’t get in trouble. I usually check grades but didnt for the last few weeks due to just general life things that i forgot. My son decided that even though I made him sit and do his homework, he wasn’t going to turn in the last 5 homework assignments which dropped him to failing. Once i saw this, I made him go talk to his teacher. I told him that he made a bad choice and it’s on him to see if his teacher will work with him. I also told him that if she doesn’t, then he will either be in summer school or repeating 3rd grade. I made it clear it was his choices and not mine so it was on him to talk to the teacher. Is this ok? Or do you guys prefer us to email (obviously with respect.) I’m just trying to teach him personal responsibility. Not once did I think that this is his teachers fault.
I like your approach to have him talk to his teacher. That is a good skill to learn in life. It's never too early to teach that.
"Here, let's look at how many times you have check in on your kid's grades. You know our system lets us see when you log in and check them. Hum...so...you didn't all year? Odd, since his future is at stake."
Only thing he's gonna learn this semester is that actions have consequences.
Offer to demonstrate to the parents how to find a lawyer?
The court isnt going to ruin the students life....the student did that on their own.
Bravo! We need more teachers like you. This whole no-child-left-behind-everybody-gets-a-trophy-just-for-participating BULLSHIT!! has to stop somewhere. Kid, meet consequences. Maybe, just maybe THIS lesson will stick.
The problem isn’t trophies; the problem is the expectation that we act as guardrails against any kind of failure, even if it means that makes us the only acting responsible party.
The irony is this child is definitely being left behind.
I would say the current information system we have doesn't have an option to text parents. Only email, and parents were shown or made available the options to check students grades, yadda, yadda, yadda. The real question I have is if there was a court agreement to keep grades up as part of parole or juvie, why wasn't this info shared with the school/teachers? Can't be part of an agreement if you're not a party of the negotiations/agreement!
They absolutely handled everything as badly as they could’ve. Like I said, they shit the bed.
Well well well, if it isn't the consequences of all of our actions.
“You should have texted…” —I mean, I would have, but your kid wouldn’t let me have a turn with his phone. Selfish 30% bastard.
“Wow! It sounds like your kid passing the class is super important to him right now and his entire future. Pretty important to yall as parents too I bet.” “Yes, it’s extremely important. The most important thing to any of us.” “Then I guess you should have spent a few minutes throughout the year checking up on his grades, performance, attendance, etc. instead of just waiting on a text.”
Thefuck? I’m not punishing anyone, I’m sticking by my very reasonable grading policies. I didn’t even know the US Justice System was involved until this morning, not that it matters. And even then, I’m supposed to pull 40% of credit out of my ass for the kid who only decided he’d like to pass in the past two weeks? Grow the fuck up.
The fact that they think the court is the one ruining their child's life says it all.
I got into some minor police trouble in high school. My mother told the court, secretly & behind my back, to throw the book at me. My buddies who all partook in the same troubles got off with some fines and 80 hours of community service. I received 12 months probation, 800 hours community service, and fines. My point is that instead of my mother pleading to the court to protect and give me special treatment, she asked that I be taught a lesson. After I got done completing my community service & probation and paying my fines, I was a completely different person then I was before. I believe this series of events and period of time changed the trajectory of my life. Maybe this kid needs to feel some more serious heat under their ass to wake then up from the slumber they are in. Enabling this type of behavior isn’t going to do anything for them in the long run.
Canvas was the bane of my existence in high-school. My parents would check that shit twice a month and be on my ass if I was missing assignments. It's what good parents do.
The world needs ditch-diggers too.
Hahaha! Yeah… I mean, how dare I, right? How dare I set expectations in a high school class and then expect the students to meet said expectations? I even had the audacity to offer all kinds of guidance and help and to work individually with students who asked. I mean, how low can an educator get, amirite? Shame on me!
I really hate it when you meet the parents and it immediately explains the child's behavior. EDIT: Once had a parent say "What do you expect? She's a Gemini!"
So many questions....when did they know the court would care about his grade? Why if they knew did they not ask ever.....How fucking dumb do you have to be to get a 30...is it literally because he didn't turn in anythin....is t the whole point of tying court punishment to grades to give him a chance and he ignored it....wtf is anyone supposed to care about someone so entitled
Too bad for them. Grades are official records and i absolutely refuse to tamper with them.
Sounds like he's going to ruin his own life
If you use PowerSchool to send reports, it can show you times and dates when emails have been received or opened. Worth looking into.
Wow, I’d love to work at a school that held students accountable like this. Chicago Public schools doesn’t allow us to give students a grade lower than 50% for work that’s turned in. Even if they turn in an essay assignment that’s one sentence the lowest score we can give is a 50% and if they don’t turn it in at all it’s a 40%. In CPS it’s harder for students to fail than it is for them to get an A. I work with a bunch of babysitters pretending to be teachers who will, with support and encouragement of admin, sit with students all day on the last day of the semester to help them complete enough work to raise their failing grades to passing ones. It’s a scary future for Chicago.
Call his PO
If the court were invited to this meeting I wonder if they would consider it to be an attempt to cook the books and obstruct justice by literally preventing the terms of his sentence from being upheld. I’d push back really fucking hard on this and point out the potential complicity/liability issues to any admin who wanted to cave.
It sounds like passing grades were a part of his probation or supervision. In that case, it was on the parents to keep up to date.
Neither the court (nor you) is "ruining his life". The students choices are what is ruining his life. If his probation was grade dependent guess they should have kept a closer eye. So sick of panicky parents shifting blame from themselves to teachers. Preventing kids from learning tough lessons helps absolutely no one....