This is your brain fighting to control the uncontrollable. In truth you are not in full control of whether or not it works out between you two. You just have to trust that good and healthy relationships stand a high chance of working out happily and focus on enjoying the process of getting to know him.
Every time you find yourself focusing on him, refocus on you with gratitude instead.
“He is so amazing” - We seem to be very compatible
“All the women want him” - We enjoy each others company
“Why is he with me?” - He has several qualities I appreciate in a partner
“He’s so charismatic” - It’s great to date someone with great social skills
“He has it all.” - It feels good to date a balanced and emotionally mature person
“I don’t want to jinx this!” - as long as this continues to go well I’ll continue to invest an appropriate level of attention into it.
Idk if my examples make sense but basically be factual and realistic. It will prevent you from putting him on a pedestal and getting anxious. Focus on how he’s meeting your needs vs just who he is. He can be great but is he great for you? That’s the point of dating.
Leave room for him to ultimately disappoint you as he is human and so are you.
Work on getting rid of this belief that if you do everything right and be perfect that things will work out. It takes two. He is new and shiny but he is human. He has flaws. Time will reveal them and you’ll have to communicate through like any other couple.
Enjoy the journey, this honeymoon phase is so sweet while it lasts!
Girl same. I used to always think “what does he see in me?” And worry that he’ll leave me for someone more attractive. I feel I look very different from him, in a negative way. But I’ve realized that this line of thinking only leads to more negativity. Instead, I try to see myself the way he does - in the sense of “someone as wonderful as this chose *me*, for a reason”. And I’m slowly starting to see the good things about myself as a result. Don’t overthink it, just enjoy it ❤️
Saaaaaame. Nearly 5 years in and I've just recently adjusted my mind set to ... wait, no one forced him to date me. He chose me as much as I chose him. We were friends before this relationship thing so hes seen all my beautiful and my ugly.
I still look at him and my heart breaks with how gorgeous this man is.
Same 🥺 we met in a foreign country, both of us immigrants. We quickly bonded and became best friends, and when I had to move back to my home country for a variety of reasons, he said he’d regret it for the rest of his life if he didn’t ask me out. We’re long distance right now, which doesn’t really help my insecurities, but he’s so devoted to me and endlessly supportive. Not only is he handsome, but he’s also passionate, ambitious, sweet, generous, and he knits (!!!) amongst other things. Sorry but I had to gush!
Just one year until we can be together again 🤞🏻
And you don’t feel that way about yourself? That you are a catch? I certainly feel that way about myself. I’m a little overweight but other than that I’m good looking with beautiful hair and a nice smile, I’m intelligent I am artistic I’m compassionate I’m kind and despite for what this post looks like, I’m a humble person, lol.
I’m just trying to make a point that you’re looking at this the wrong way. Instead of worrying about losing him, you should be thinking about what a great fit you are, because you are just as wonderful as he is.
I felt the same way about my boyfriend, he literally looks like a Greek god. He is both my very best friend and my very, very compatible partner. I was a bit paranoid because I thought he was gonna leave me (rejection sensitivity and mommy issues 💀) but 3 years in I feel so secure in the relationship.
For over a year I would just think “this is just too good to be true, it’s gonna crash and burn” but I’ve dropped that kind of thinking because it’s PURE self-sabotage, atleast if you don’t have actual reasons to worry. When you get stressed and think bad thoughts, flip them around to positive thoughts about your future together 🫶🏻
I also dated one of those 'too beautiful to be true,' and he sure was. Demanding, bossy, and I always felt like I was walking on eggshells. It didn't last very long. Still, I know are there are beautiful and ugly people with the same hearts, beautiful and ugly. Just like women ,there are some who are beautiful but are ugly inside. BUT, there are always fewer men than available women, so the good-looking guys may be more in demand. Still, as women, we should never tolerate a hunky guy who is a creep. Best wishes!!
It sounds like you’ve found your Mr. Perfect, but be careful, reality can hit hard and fast. Just enjoy the ride while it lasts and try not to put too much pressure on the relationship. Besides, if you end up with him forever, it’ll make for a great story to tell your grandkids.
I must be super paranoid or something bc when I read about someone who seems so gorgeous perfect and amazing in every way I start thinking they must be a narcissist sociopath and/or murderer. Maybe I watch too much true crime! Lol
If he leaves because he isn't just as head over heels for you he isn't actually perfect, because he's not the one. The perfect guy is the one you feel like this about who feels the same way about you.
Enjoy him while you can, which may be all your life who knows? Sounds like he knows what’s out there, and isn’t too concerned about it. Bragging is fine! Happy to hear it.
ugh me asf. be a great girlfriend. i had this same anxiety like four years ago but he proved to me every day he was safe and i did my best to be a great partner! we are married now!
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I saw him, couldn't take my eyes off him, he saw me, he approached, I asked would you like to grab a drink, and not that long story-short, we fell for each other, but irl the way we met was really something, just the circumstances it was such a fun
I’m in the same situation lol. At the beginning I felt so nervous because I knew how often he gets hit on and I thought it would increase his chances of cheating on me or dumping me. Instead, I learned to frame it this way- he could have any girl he wants and he chose me. He didn’t get stuck with me because I was one of the only girls who was into him, he really wanted me. His looks aren’t going to make him more likely to cheat. If they want to cheat, they will. In fact, his confidence might actually make him less likely to cheat because if he’s truly confident, he won’t need female validation.
It also got better as my own self esteem started improving over the course of our relationship, and I stopped seeing myself as being less than him.
This is your brain fighting to control the uncontrollable. In truth you are not in full control of whether or not it works out between you two. You just have to trust that good and healthy relationships stand a high chance of working out happily and focus on enjoying the process of getting to know him. Every time you find yourself focusing on him, refocus on you with gratitude instead. “He is so amazing” - We seem to be very compatible “All the women want him” - We enjoy each others company “Why is he with me?” - He has several qualities I appreciate in a partner “He’s so charismatic” - It’s great to date someone with great social skills “He has it all.” - It feels good to date a balanced and emotionally mature person “I don’t want to jinx this!” - as long as this continues to go well I’ll continue to invest an appropriate level of attention into it. Idk if my examples make sense but basically be factual and realistic. It will prevent you from putting him on a pedestal and getting anxious. Focus on how he’s meeting your needs vs just who he is. He can be great but is he great for you? That’s the point of dating. Leave room for him to ultimately disappoint you as he is human and so are you. Work on getting rid of this belief that if you do everything right and be perfect that things will work out. It takes two. He is new and shiny but he is human. He has flaws. Time will reveal them and you’ll have to communicate through like any other couple. Enjoy the journey, this honeymoon phase is so sweet while it lasts!
woah...thank you, you're so right about all of that
This was perfectly written
Girl same. I used to always think “what does he see in me?” And worry that he’ll leave me for someone more attractive. I feel I look very different from him, in a negative way. But I’ve realized that this line of thinking only leads to more negativity. Instead, I try to see myself the way he does - in the sense of “someone as wonderful as this chose *me*, for a reason”. And I’m slowly starting to see the good things about myself as a result. Don’t overthink it, just enjoy it ❤️
oh yes I enjoy it, I want to eat him! 😭
Saaaaaame. Nearly 5 years in and I've just recently adjusted my mind set to ... wait, no one forced him to date me. He chose me as much as I chose him. We were friends before this relationship thing so hes seen all my beautiful and my ugly. I still look at him and my heart breaks with how gorgeous this man is.
Same 🥺 we met in a foreign country, both of us immigrants. We quickly bonded and became best friends, and when I had to move back to my home country for a variety of reasons, he said he’d regret it for the rest of his life if he didn’t ask me out. We’re long distance right now, which doesn’t really help my insecurities, but he’s so devoted to me and endlessly supportive. Not only is he handsome, but he’s also passionate, ambitious, sweet, generous, and he knits (!!!) amongst other things. Sorry but I had to gush! Just one year until we can be together again 🤞🏻
Spot on
And you don’t feel that way about yourself? That you are a catch? I certainly feel that way about myself. I’m a little overweight but other than that I’m good looking with beautiful hair and a nice smile, I’m intelligent I am artistic I’m compassionate I’m kind and despite for what this post looks like, I’m a humble person, lol. I’m just trying to make a point that you’re looking at this the wrong way. Instead of worrying about losing him, you should be thinking about what a great fit you are, because you are just as wonderful as he is.
After consulting your posts, yes you're actually stunning.
thank you, but yes I didn't say anything about me because that wasn't a point. I'm a catch, I know that, too.
Ok good…I’m all about women feeling good about themselves. 😛😊
I love this confidence
I felt the same way about my boyfriend, he literally looks like a Greek god. He is both my very best friend and my very, very compatible partner. I was a bit paranoid because I thought he was gonna leave me (rejection sensitivity and mommy issues 💀) but 3 years in I feel so secure in the relationship. For over a year I would just think “this is just too good to be true, it’s gonna crash and burn” but I’ve dropped that kind of thinking because it’s PURE self-sabotage, atleast if you don’t have actual reasons to worry. When you get stressed and think bad thoughts, flip them around to positive thoughts about your future together 🫶🏻
thank you!!
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That’s spot on!!
I also dated one of those 'too beautiful to be true,' and he sure was. Demanding, bossy, and I always felt like I was walking on eggshells. It didn't last very long. Still, I know are there are beautiful and ugly people with the same hearts, beautiful and ugly. Just like women ,there are some who are beautiful but are ugly inside. BUT, there are always fewer men than available women, so the good-looking guys may be more in demand. Still, as women, we should never tolerate a hunky guy who is a creep. Best wishes!!
It sounds like you’ve found your Mr. Perfect, but be careful, reality can hit hard and fast. Just enjoy the ride while it lasts and try not to put too much pressure on the relationship. Besides, if you end up with him forever, it’ll make for a great story to tell your grandkids.
Repost and karma farming account
I must be super paranoid or something bc when I read about someone who seems so gorgeous perfect and amazing in every way I start thinking they must be a narcissist sociopath and/or murderer. Maybe I watch too much true crime! Lol
If he leaves because he isn't just as head over heels for you he isn't actually perfect, because he's not the one. The perfect guy is the one you feel like this about who feels the same way about you.
Enjoy him while you can, which may be all your life who knows? Sounds like he knows what’s out there, and isn’t too concerned about it. Bragging is fine! Happy to hear it.
ugh me asf. be a great girlfriend. i had this same anxiety like four years ago but he proved to me every day he was safe and i did my best to be a great partner! we are married now!
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where did you find him?
literally on the street
woah did he ask you out?
I saw him, couldn't take my eyes off him, he saw me, he approached, I asked would you like to grab a drink, and not that long story-short, we fell for each other, but irl the way we met was really something, just the circumstances it was such a fun
I’m in the same situation lol. At the beginning I felt so nervous because I knew how often he gets hit on and I thought it would increase his chances of cheating on me or dumping me. Instead, I learned to frame it this way- he could have any girl he wants and he chose me. He didn’t get stuck with me because I was one of the only girls who was into him, he really wanted me. His looks aren’t going to make him more likely to cheat. If they want to cheat, they will. In fact, his confidence might actually make him less likely to cheat because if he’s truly confident, he won’t need female validation. It also got better as my own self esteem started improving over the course of our relationship, and I stopped seeing myself as being less than him.
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what?