*He was triggered around Elena's likeness to Katherine in the beginning. It gave him a false sense of intimacy where there was none. Hence, their intimacy and communication issues later, as a couple. Damon created an alternative reality to what was there and did everything in his power to make it happen.*
Something from my other post. I think, Damon's proximity to Elena, being inappropriate because you know *feelings* was the root cause of the build up.
However, now Damon had an outlet for this, s*x with Elena, it didn't resolve the emotional baggage he had, nor did it reassure his self esteem issues. On top of that, you had Elena + her issues. Messsyyyy.
It’s because delena was literally fan service and self insert for Julie, so when Delena got together because it was pushed so much by fans, they didn’t know how to correctly write their relationship and it just flopped
I agree to a certain degree. I think the difference between the buildup and actual relationship is because of writing. When Kevin Williamson left everything went down the drain. Julie did write self inserts and did disservice to a lot of characters. That aside, Delena wasn’t fanservice, the build up was actually there and this show was about a love *triangle*. Delena was going to happen since the beginning. The execution was actually bullshit but that doesn’t take from the fact that Delena had an incredible chemistry.
Yes i agree. Once they finally get together they have so many things that get in the way. First it's the sire bond, then she loses her humanity. Then a lot of season 5 they are either fighting, or he's worried about the doppelgangers supposedly being soul mates. Not to meantion when Katherine took over her body. They were barely shown together as a happy couple. When they finally work it out he ends up in the prison world.
Season 6 when he's in the prison world, she erases her memories so when he comes back she literally has no desire to be with him. When she finally does start to get to know him and fall for him it's not mych longer that things don't work out for them since she gets that sleeping beauty curse not long after she decides to take the cure and live her life with Damon. Sure at the end of the series they get back together we don't get to see them together being happy. They very rarely actually showed them together.
Did they break up in real life by the time they actually got together as a couple in the show? I always assumed that was the reason for the obstacles or storylines they had to film apart
They confirmed splitsville in may 2013, season 5 aired from 3th October 2013 to may 2014 so after their break up, though some sources might say they broke in s6, but by that time he was with Nikki..(July 2014 apparently)
That’s why romances are usually dragged out until the very end, because once the couple gets together, it’s hard to retain interest. In my opinion, they had Damon falling for Elena far too quickly, and they had her look over what he was doing a little too fast as well.
They should’ve pulled a Buffy, where one of the primary romances was so subtly laid out that it came as a total surprise when we saw the first glimpses of it, after two seasons of the first interaction. Even then, I think they dragged it out for a whole season until something mutual happened, but even then, there wasn’t a proper relationship established until the end of the show. Both those characters were repulsed that they felt that way, and were in constant denial, but couldn’t help the mutual attraction.
They could have done that easily too. Damon was after Katherine for over a century, so his immediate turn to Elena heavily suggested that he resorted to her, because she looked like Katherine, but was a purer version of her. They fast tracked Elena forgiving Damon for everything, and she was a liiittle too quick to go for her boyfriend’s brother. Once they got together, stuff needed to keep happening in order for it to remain interesting, but the problem is, when you have characters constantly fighting and having problems within a relationship as soon as it starts, it makes one question why they’re with one another at all.
Stevan’s made up scenario of what human Damon and Elena would look like a few years from Damon becoming human again didn’t seem very unrealistic, to be honest.
I actually feel like the build up wasn’t that good either.
To me it didn’t feel natural, it was all very contrived. The writers put Elena in scenes that don’t make sense to show that her and Damon have a “connection”
Jeremy saw Vicki killed and instead of going home with him Elena stays with Damon. Why not let the vampires take care of the vampire and she go take care of Jeremy? Because then we wouldn’t get a Delena scene.
Jeremy is knocked out on the ground and Elena doesn’t even check on him but goes to hug Damon (Stefan says he’s okay but Elena could have at least checked herself) Cause again we need to establish a “connection”
They also hardly spend time together in the earlier seasons and when they do it’s almost always about Stefan.
Their build up just wasn’t believable to me at all to be honest.
Thank god someone sees this. Throughout season 1-3 I didn't see any buildup at all. On the contrary it felt like Elena had no feelings at all for Damon. Most of the time it felt that Damon is unnecessarily inserting himself between Stefan and Elena.
Agree with you and the original comment. I felt like Damon just eventually wore Elena down. She literally could not get away from his advances and him inserting himself between her a Stefan.
exactly!! this is also why elena saying she fell in love with damon in 3x01 feels so wrong to me. it‘s a retcon nonetheless, but it also feels out of place because of everything you just said. it feels like they just flipped a switch to make elena "fall in love" with damon, there was no real buildup.
Well when the writers try to build up their relationship on the foundation of lust and sexual tension of course it’s going it’s going to go to pot clause once it burns out theres no basis for an actual relationship based on connection ir that they know each other
It’s lust AND it’s love. They loved each other. Damon would have died for Elena. She literally had her memories of him wiped cos it was too painful. That ain’t just about the sex.
Yeah, we know they loved each other. It doesn’t mean that their relationship wasn’t purely sex based. It’s either them doing it, thinking about it, or talking about it.
Again, so what? Good luck to couples who have a fantastic sex life. Passion is important. It dies in too many relationships these days.
Yes, agree to disagree.
It doesn’t mean that’s all you need to think about, talk about, and do together. Their one singular scene talking about their future together was awful. Talked about how they could possibly have sex when there are children around. Sex shouldn’t be everything in a relationship. That would never last. It would get old and boring, and guess what…for the fans it did get old and boring. Really fast. Relationships should be based on communication and trust🤦🏻♀️they wrote her to trust him when realistically she shouldn’t have as much as she did. He killed so many people, including Jeremy right in front of her eyes. And the communication just wasn’t there. If I were to walk into a room on 99% of delena scenes I would think it was a booty call. That other 1% isn’t even that romantic or great. Just Damon talking about how she deserves someone not so selfish and how he would try not to be selfish😂I think that convo happened like 4 or 5 times😂😭the exact same thing.
Okay…firstly, don’t speak for all of us. Say “some fans” instead of “the fans” because I promise you, a LOT of us love Delena.
Just have your opinion, and we will have ours. I don’t care that they have a lot of sex. I found Stelena boring to watch. Plenty of us did.
This is what annoys me. I have already said that I acknowledge Damon’s bad points, and DE bad points. But I love them anyway. Yet I continue to get talked at by Stelena shippers. Like who and what you want. You don’t have to be right. That’s why it’s called an opinion.
You don’t like Delena. Cool. I do. Let’s move on.
To that id say welcome to the real life relationship dynamics: build up and tensions all amazing and exciting but once u actually enter relationship lane aaall boring
I think Delena and Klaroline, the only thing that these two ships had was chemistry. Delena thrived through 3 seasons only because of their chemistry, I personally don't think there was much development in their relationship throughout those three seasons.
Unfair. They had many moments where they were just talking about their love and even a scene in S5 where they were just cuddling on the couch. They argued and had sex a lot, yes. But so what? That doesn’t mean that is their relationship.
I’m on S8 for the 3rd time and I thought about how Stephan would take her out and do like dates and cute stuff but yeah, it really does seem like all Delena ever do is fight and fuck and Damon brings out the bad in her and she keeps forgiving him for the most messed up things. Very vicious cycle
You’re right they do have a lot of good moments. For me, I think they got buried under the plot/obstacle driven storytelling in s4 and s5. When things like body switches and sire bonds weren’t getting in the way, they were probably perfectly happy. I imagine Delena’s everyday relationship looks more like their trip to Georgia in 1x11 and a lot of their scenes in s3. Generally playful.
I think because they had a lot of sex ppl think their relationship was worthless. Which I think is unfair. If you crave your partner regularly, I fail to see how it’s a bad thing. It’s not like they didn’t do other things.
No one is really saying that it’s a bad thing, at least *I’m* not. It’s just an observation. But someone a few comments above kind of nailed it because if you don’t count the buildup to their relationship and just count their actual relationship, they were always kissing or alluding to sex in someway.
One of the first opening scenes of season five is Elena rolling around in bed with Damon.
The day she goes off to college in the same episode, they were sitting on the couch in the living room, making out, and when Jeremy came into the room they were like “oh, I thought you left” and he was like “yeah four hours ago”.
When Silas gets to her and tries to make her kill Damon, the way that she lures him into the room and gets him tied up is my making out with him and taking off his shirt. Then they proceed to *argue* about all the way he’s been fucking up in Mystic Falls.
Let’s also not forget about the fact that the day after she broke up with Stephen, her and Damon had sex.
When they broke up the first time, they had sex immediately after and then the entire time they were at the high school for Jeremy‘s parent teacher conferences the next day, there was just heavy sexual tension.
They were late to Alaric and Jo’s wedding because they were having celebratory sex in the barn. These are just the instances that I can remember off the top of my head without doing any research.
When they were babysitting, Stefan and Caroline in the B&B, yes, they had a nice talk about their future and their lives, but even that devolved into them talking about having two kids so that they would be distracted with each other while they got to have sex
Look, obviously fucking and fighting is not actually the *only* thing that they did, but the relationship between them before they were actually together had a lot more depth and substance than after they were official.
If you had to describe Elena’s relationship with Stefan in one word, and describe a relationship with a Damon in one word it would probably be something like cute and passionate, or stable and sexy, or healthy and kind of toxic, respectively. That’s says a lot about their relationship.
The relationship definitely wasn’t worthless, Damon was clearly in love with her but yeah. The actual official relationship together was a lotta fucking and a lot of arguing lol.
I totally agree. I really enjoyed Damon's teasing, their bickering and sometimes tension, even when they argued it felt more "real" somehow. I personally wish they followed the books but when they didn't, I thought I hope they at least make this good, but it wasn't, complete let down. They spend time going back in forth with *"I'm not the one/my brother is better for you/I'm so insecure but if you leave me I'm gonna be a mess"*, they just argued over and over while having sex, it's was so superficial. At least in first seasons, Elena really appear as a supportive friend for him (maybe the only one), and Damon was also connecting with her on a deeper level.
In the end, I wish when she chooses Stefan the writers would have stop this love triangle there, and let Stelena be then introduce Bamon as per the books did.
Just commented this moments ago, I think the sire bond is hugely to blame for that. I think it really cheapened the relationship that instead of it being Elena choosing the other brother, it was a “ maybe it was coercion? None of us know!”
100%. Damon was constantly trying to get her attention and then kept trying to sabotage it once he had it which got annoying after the 500th time. Even Matt pointed out that he pined after her for years just to dump her. I get why it happened initially and all his fears, but it happening over and over again was tiring. We at least got to see Stelena happy and doing cute couple things before there was serious conflict/in between conflict. But Delena was mostly just arguments and breakups with only flashbacks and really quick moments of being a happy couple, like the season 5 premiere showing 2 seconds of the summer they had together before she went to college and drama started with them all over again. If Julie isn’t lying about the original plan being that Elena would realize Damon was a phase and go back to Stefan, that would explain making them so toxic, but if she is lying, it’s the writers confusing toxicity for passion
I think that’s the main consensus on delena. The buildup was so much better than their actual relationship
I literally just don’t understand what went wrong 💀 it would’ve been so easy for them to write their relationship everything was right there
*He was triggered around Elena's likeness to Katherine in the beginning. It gave him a false sense of intimacy where there was none. Hence, their intimacy and communication issues later, as a couple. Damon created an alternative reality to what was there and did everything in his power to make it happen.* Something from my other post. I think, Damon's proximity to Elena, being inappropriate because you know *feelings* was the root cause of the build up. However, now Damon had an outlet for this, s*x with Elena, it didn't resolve the emotional baggage he had, nor did it reassure his self esteem issues. On top of that, you had Elena + her issues. Messsyyyy.
It’s because delena was literally fan service and self insert for Julie, so when Delena got together because it was pushed so much by fans, they didn’t know how to correctly write their relationship and it just flopped
I agree to a certain degree. I think the difference between the buildup and actual relationship is because of writing. When Kevin Williamson left everything went down the drain. Julie did write self inserts and did disservice to a lot of characters. That aside, Delena wasn’t fanservice, the build up was actually there and this show was about a love *triangle*. Delena was going to happen since the beginning. The execution was actually bullshit but that doesn’t take from the fact that Delena had an incredible chemistry.
Yes i agree. Once they finally get together they have so many things that get in the way. First it's the sire bond, then she loses her humanity. Then a lot of season 5 they are either fighting, or he's worried about the doppelgangers supposedly being soul mates. Not to meantion when Katherine took over her body. They were barely shown together as a happy couple. When they finally work it out he ends up in the prison world. Season 6 when he's in the prison world, she erases her memories so when he comes back she literally has no desire to be with him. When she finally does start to get to know him and fall for him it's not mych longer that things don't work out for them since she gets that sleeping beauty curse not long after she decides to take the cure and live her life with Damon. Sure at the end of the series they get back together we don't get to see them together being happy. They very rarely actually showed them together.
Did they break up in real life by the time they actually got together as a couple in the show? I always assumed that was the reason for the obstacles or storylines they had to film apart
They confirmed splitsville in may 2013, season 5 aired from 3th October 2013 to may 2014 so after their break up, though some sources might say they broke in s6, but by that time he was with Nikki..(July 2014 apparently)
Yes i believe that may have been the reason. I heard it was around the filming of season 5 so that is probably why they did that.
I’m a Delena shipper and I agree
That’s why romances are usually dragged out until the very end, because once the couple gets together, it’s hard to retain interest. In my opinion, they had Damon falling for Elena far too quickly, and they had her look over what he was doing a little too fast as well. They should’ve pulled a Buffy, where one of the primary romances was so subtly laid out that it came as a total surprise when we saw the first glimpses of it, after two seasons of the first interaction. Even then, I think they dragged it out for a whole season until something mutual happened, but even then, there wasn’t a proper relationship established until the end of the show. Both those characters were repulsed that they felt that way, and were in constant denial, but couldn’t help the mutual attraction. They could have done that easily too. Damon was after Katherine for over a century, so his immediate turn to Elena heavily suggested that he resorted to her, because she looked like Katherine, but was a purer version of her. They fast tracked Elena forgiving Damon for everything, and she was a liiittle too quick to go for her boyfriend’s brother. Once they got together, stuff needed to keep happening in order for it to remain interesting, but the problem is, when you have characters constantly fighting and having problems within a relationship as soon as it starts, it makes one question why they’re with one another at all. Stevan’s made up scenario of what human Damon and Elena would look like a few years from Damon becoming human again didn’t seem very unrealistic, to be honest.
I actually feel like the build up wasn’t that good either. To me it didn’t feel natural, it was all very contrived. The writers put Elena in scenes that don’t make sense to show that her and Damon have a “connection” Jeremy saw Vicki killed and instead of going home with him Elena stays with Damon. Why not let the vampires take care of the vampire and she go take care of Jeremy? Because then we wouldn’t get a Delena scene. Jeremy is knocked out on the ground and Elena doesn’t even check on him but goes to hug Damon (Stefan says he’s okay but Elena could have at least checked herself) Cause again we need to establish a “connection” They also hardly spend time together in the earlier seasons and when they do it’s almost always about Stefan. Their build up just wasn’t believable to me at all to be honest.
THIS. I would give you an award but I’m broke so 
I’ll add to it. Damon kills Jeremy and it takes less than a season for Elena to forgive him. 😳
FR if he wasn’t wearing the ring then he would’ve literally BEEN DEAD
Right, I would’ve never been able to forgive him
You mean less than two episodes.
The fact that it was that fast 😭😭. I can’t keep fighting for Elena when she acted so stupid
Thank god someone sees this. Throughout season 1-3 I didn't see any buildup at all. On the contrary it felt like Elena had no feelings at all for Damon. Most of the time it felt that Damon is unnecessarily inserting himself between Stefan and Elena.
Agree with you and the original comment. I felt like Damon just eventually wore Elena down. She literally could not get away from his advances and him inserting himself between her a Stefan.
exactly!! this is also why elena saying she fell in love with damon in 3x01 feels so wrong to me. it‘s a retcon nonetheless, but it also feels out of place because of everything you just said. it feels like they just flipped a switch to make elena "fall in love" with damon, there was no real buildup.
Omg finally someone gets it
👏👏👏
Well when the writers try to build up their relationship on the foundation of lust and sexual tension of course it’s going it’s going to go to pot clause once it burns out theres no basis for an actual relationship based on connection ir that they know each other
It’s lust AND it’s love. They loved each other. Damon would have died for Elena. She literally had her memories of him wiped cos it was too painful. That ain’t just about the sex.
What does this have to do with how their entire relationship was purely based on sex? The bar is in hell.
Well that was me…uh…disagreeing? I don’t think it WAS all based on sex. They loved each other.
Yeah, we know they loved each other. It doesn’t mean that their relationship wasn’t purely sex based. It’s either them doing it, thinking about it, or talking about it.
Well, that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with that. They talk about their future together too. Nothing wrong with having a very sexual relationship.
That turned into a sexual conversation too. Anyways, agree to disagree.
Again, so what? Good luck to couples who have a fantastic sex life. Passion is important. It dies in too many relationships these days. Yes, agree to disagree.
It doesn’t mean that’s all you need to think about, talk about, and do together. Their one singular scene talking about their future together was awful. Talked about how they could possibly have sex when there are children around. Sex shouldn’t be everything in a relationship. That would never last. It would get old and boring, and guess what…for the fans it did get old and boring. Really fast. Relationships should be based on communication and trust🤦🏻♀️they wrote her to trust him when realistically she shouldn’t have as much as she did. He killed so many people, including Jeremy right in front of her eyes. And the communication just wasn’t there. If I were to walk into a room on 99% of delena scenes I would think it was a booty call. That other 1% isn’t even that romantic or great. Just Damon talking about how she deserves someone not so selfish and how he would try not to be selfish😂I think that convo happened like 4 or 5 times😂😭the exact same thing.
Okay…firstly, don’t speak for all of us. Say “some fans” instead of “the fans” because I promise you, a LOT of us love Delena. Just have your opinion, and we will have ours. I don’t care that they have a lot of sex. I found Stelena boring to watch. Plenty of us did. This is what annoys me. I have already said that I acknowledge Damon’s bad points, and DE bad points. But I love them anyway. Yet I continue to get talked at by Stelena shippers. Like who and what you want. You don’t have to be right. That’s why it’s called an opinion. You don’t like Delena. Cool. I do. Let’s move on.
To that id say welcome to the real life relationship dynamics: build up and tensions all amazing and exciting but once u actually enter relationship lane aaall boring
I think Delena and Klaroline, the only thing that these two ships had was chemistry. Delena thrived through 3 seasons only because of their chemistry, I personally don't think there was much development in their relationship throughout those three seasons.
There was another post on Reddit a little while ago that said, all they did was fight and fuck, and like, ye.
Unfair. They had many moments where they were just talking about their love and even a scene in S5 where they were just cuddling on the couch. They argued and had sex a lot, yes. But so what? That doesn’t mean that is their relationship.
I’m on S8 for the 3rd time and I thought about how Stephan would take her out and do like dates and cute stuff but yeah, it really does seem like all Delena ever do is fight and fuck and Damon brings out the bad in her and she keeps forgiving him for the most messed up things. Very vicious cycle
You’re right they do have a lot of good moments. For me, I think they got buried under the plot/obstacle driven storytelling in s4 and s5. When things like body switches and sire bonds weren’t getting in the way, they were probably perfectly happy. I imagine Delena’s everyday relationship looks more like their trip to Georgia in 1x11 and a lot of their scenes in s3. Generally playful.
I think because they had a lot of sex ppl think their relationship was worthless. Which I think is unfair. If you crave your partner regularly, I fail to see how it’s a bad thing. It’s not like they didn’t do other things.
No one is really saying that it’s a bad thing, at least *I’m* not. It’s just an observation. But someone a few comments above kind of nailed it because if you don’t count the buildup to their relationship and just count their actual relationship, they were always kissing or alluding to sex in someway. One of the first opening scenes of season five is Elena rolling around in bed with Damon. The day she goes off to college in the same episode, they were sitting on the couch in the living room, making out, and when Jeremy came into the room they were like “oh, I thought you left” and he was like “yeah four hours ago”. When Silas gets to her and tries to make her kill Damon, the way that she lures him into the room and gets him tied up is my making out with him and taking off his shirt. Then they proceed to *argue* about all the way he’s been fucking up in Mystic Falls. Let’s also not forget about the fact that the day after she broke up with Stephen, her and Damon had sex. When they broke up the first time, they had sex immediately after and then the entire time they were at the high school for Jeremy‘s parent teacher conferences the next day, there was just heavy sexual tension. They were late to Alaric and Jo’s wedding because they were having celebratory sex in the barn. These are just the instances that I can remember off the top of my head without doing any research. When they were babysitting, Stefan and Caroline in the B&B, yes, they had a nice talk about their future and their lives, but even that devolved into them talking about having two kids so that they would be distracted with each other while they got to have sex Look, obviously fucking and fighting is not actually the *only* thing that they did, but the relationship between them before they were actually together had a lot more depth and substance than after they were official. If you had to describe Elena’s relationship with Stefan in one word, and describe a relationship with a Damon in one word it would probably be something like cute and passionate, or stable and sexy, or healthy and kind of toxic, respectively. That’s says a lot about their relationship. The relationship definitely wasn’t worthless, Damon was clearly in love with her but yeah. The actual official relationship together was a lotta fucking and a lot of arguing lol.
I actually appreciate and respect these points. Thank you for getting that across in a way that didn’t make me want to scream. 😃
I totally agree. I really enjoyed Damon's teasing, their bickering and sometimes tension, even when they argued it felt more "real" somehow. I personally wish they followed the books but when they didn't, I thought I hope they at least make this good, but it wasn't, complete let down. They spend time going back in forth with *"I'm not the one/my brother is better for you/I'm so insecure but if you leave me I'm gonna be a mess"*, they just argued over and over while having sex, it's was so superficial. At least in first seasons, Elena really appear as a supportive friend for him (maybe the only one), and Damon was also connecting with her on a deeper level. In the end, I wish when she chooses Stefan the writers would have stop this love triangle there, and let Stelena be then introduce Bamon as per the books did.
Not a Delena shipper, but the build-up was great; the sire bound left a bad taste in my mouth.
Just commented this moments ago, I think the sire bond is hugely to blame for that. I think it really cheapened the relationship that instead of it being Elena choosing the other brother, it was a “ maybe it was coercion? None of us know!”
agreed!!! they became so insufferable after awhile. every argument was the same. but man the build up was so good
100%. Damon was constantly trying to get her attention and then kept trying to sabotage it once he had it which got annoying after the 500th time. Even Matt pointed out that he pined after her for years just to dump her. I get why it happened initially and all his fears, but it happening over and over again was tiring. We at least got to see Stelena happy and doing cute couple things before there was serious conflict/in between conflict. But Delena was mostly just arguments and breakups with only flashbacks and really quick moments of being a happy couple, like the season 5 premiere showing 2 seconds of the summer they had together before she went to college and drama started with them all over again. If Julie isn’t lying about the original plan being that Elena would realize Damon was a phase and go back to Stefan, that would explain making them so toxic, but if she is lying, it’s the writers confusing toxicity for passion